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1
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Hope.
2
00:00:02,950 --> 00:00:05,610
That is what I am feeling
on this glorious day
3
00:00:05,650 --> 00:00:08,090
as we are gathered here together...
4
00:00:09,700 --> 00:00:10,986
To mourn
5
00:00:11,026 --> 00:00:13,490
the loss of one of our brethren,
6
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cruelly taken in his prime
due to cholera.
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Which... which reminds me.
8
00:00:18,230 --> 00:00:20,710
Please, please stay six feet apart.
9
00:00:22,800 --> 00:00:24,280
Yes, good, nobody's doing it.
10
00:00:24,320 --> 00:00:25,817
Okay, moving on.
11
00:00:25,869 --> 00:00:28,370
But as each new day pummels us
12
00:00:28,410 --> 00:00:31,894
with a seemingly endless
onslaught of fresh horrors,
13
00:00:31,918 --> 00:00:33,268
we must not lose faith.
14
00:00:33,308 --> 00:00:37,008
After all, this is America,
15
00:00:37,058 --> 00:00:40,098
where opportunity awaits
around every corner.
16
00:00:40,148 --> 00:00:41,968
- Can I get an amen?
- Amen.
17
00:00:46,068 --> 00:00:47,368
Yeah, just put her in the coffin, too.
18
00:00:47,408 --> 00:00:49,018
They're... they're both pretty small.
19
00:00:49,068 --> 00:00:51,938
- All right, you get her feet.
- And we will take this from the top!
20
00:00:51,978 --> 00:00:52,938
Hope!
21
00:00:52,988 --> 00:00:58,600
Synced & corrected by -robtor-
www.addic7ed.com
22
00:01:04,298 --> 00:01:07,168
That's it. This year's harvest.
23
00:01:07,218 --> 00:01:08,518
Worse than last year,
24
00:01:08,568 --> 00:01:10,218
which was worse
than the year before that.
25
00:01:11,180 --> 00:01:12,828
Maybe we should just kill ourselves now
26
00:01:12,868 --> 00:01:13,878
and get it over with.
27
00:01:13,918 --> 00:01:15,308
I am not killing myself.
28
00:01:15,358 --> 00:01:17,008
You stupid... Please stop fighting!
29
00:01:18,228 --> 00:01:19,748
Hey! That's enough! That's enough.
30
00:01:19,788 --> 00:01:22,798
Guys, look. I know things
seem desperate right now,
31
00:01:22,838 --> 00:01:26,798
but I believe there is
a better place for all of us.
32
00:01:26,838 --> 00:01:29,368
Oregon. Yeah!
33
00:01:29,408 --> 00:01:31,018
See, I've been reading testimonies
34
00:01:31,068 --> 00:01:32,938
of people in similar situations to us.
35
00:01:32,978 --> 00:01:36,158
Many of them have found
their salvation in Oregon.
36
00:01:36,198 --> 00:01:37,288
You know how to navigate across
37
00:01:37,328 --> 00:01:39,625
2,000 miles of untamed territory?
38
00:01:40,468 --> 00:01:42,638
- No, I...
- Sorry, Reverend.
39
00:01:42,688 --> 00:01:43,908
Without an experienced guide,
40
00:01:43,948 --> 00:01:45,558
going to Oregon is out of the question.
41
00:01:45,598 --> 00:01:47,128
Maybe we should just go back
to John's idea
42
00:01:47,168 --> 00:01:48,648
about killing ourselves.
43
00:01:48,884 --> 00:01:51,088
I think there was something there.
44
00:02:01,658 --> 00:02:02,658
Oh, Zeke.
45
00:02:02,708 --> 00:02:04,138
Hold it right there.
46
00:02:04,188 --> 00:02:06,058
Oh, no. Aah...
47
00:02:06,098 --> 00:02:08,798
Wow, Zeke. Really?
48
00:02:08,838 --> 00:02:10,368
You look truly dismal.
49
00:02:10,408 --> 00:02:11,718
Come on, Pru, you know
I don't feel comfortable
50
00:02:11,758 --> 00:02:12,798
with that contraption of yours.
51
00:02:12,848 --> 00:02:15,368
Capturing one's image is
absolutely a form of vanity.
52
00:02:15,418 --> 00:02:16,978
Why does everything have
to be a sin with you?
53
00:02:17,028 --> 00:02:18,548
Can't it just be fun?
54
00:02:18,588 --> 00:02:20,248
I'm not really in a fun mood
right now, what with the town
55
00:02:20,288 --> 00:02:22,468
on the verge of extinction
and everything.
56
00:02:22,508 --> 00:02:24,078
Hey, man. You think you have it bad?
57
00:02:24,118 --> 00:02:25,768
I just spent all day mending socks.
58
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All day. Just socks.
59
00:02:28,078 --> 00:02:30,078
So will you please just
let me have this one thing?
60
00:02:30,128 --> 00:02:31,518
Yes, I will. Okay. Don't hurt me.
61
00:02:31,558 --> 00:02:32,518
Great.
62
00:02:34,114 --> 00:02:35,984
Okay, how's, um... how's this?
63
00:02:36,088 --> 00:02:37,788
Oh, yes, I love it!
64
00:02:37,828 --> 00:02:40,178
You're giving me serious
fire and brimstone right now,
65
00:02:40,218 --> 00:02:42,104
- and it's working.
- You're ridiculous.
66
00:02:44,618 --> 00:02:46,264
Ah. That was pretty cool.
67
00:02:46,304 --> 00:02:48,394
Well, good day, Reverend.
68
00:02:48,434 --> 00:02:50,148
Good day, Mrs. Aberdeen.
69
00:02:50,188 --> 00:02:53,365
Oh, and hey... good luck
saving the town.
70
00:02:57,808 --> 00:03:00,588
Heavenly Father, it's me, Ezekiel Brown.
71
00:03:00,914 --> 00:03:02,068
I don't know why I said my name.
72
00:03:02,108 --> 00:03:04,418
You know it's me. We talk all the time.
73
00:03:04,458 --> 00:03:07,678
This town is full of good people, Lord,
74
00:03:07,728 --> 00:03:09,508
innocent people,
75
00:03:09,558 --> 00:03:12,718
but if we don't find someone
who can lead us to Oregon,
76
00:03:13,518 --> 00:03:14,948
they're all gonna die.
77
00:03:14,998 --> 00:03:17,128
Please, Lord,
78
00:03:17,514 --> 00:03:19,850
send us a miracle.
79
00:03:28,518 --> 00:03:29,728
Howdy.
80
00:03:33,878 --> 00:03:35,278
Come on, get him on the table.
Get him on the table.
81
00:03:35,318 --> 00:03:37,108
Come on, he's hurt, he's hurt.
82
00:03:37,148 --> 00:03:39,058
Okay, let's see what we've got here.
83
00:03:39,988 --> 00:03:41,978
Oh, my God! Oh. You know what?
84
00:03:42,018 --> 00:03:42,978
Actually, Prudence,
85
00:03:43,018 --> 00:03:44,368
uh, you should take care of this.
86
00:03:44,418 --> 00:03:46,460
It's more like women's work
anyway. So...
87
00:03:48,508 --> 00:03:49,988
Sir, can you drink any water?
88
00:03:50,028 --> 00:03:51,208
Whiskey?
89
00:03:51,248 --> 00:03:52,558
Well, I don't think that's a good idea.
90
00:03:52,598 --> 00:03:54,168
- You've been wandering the desert.
- I said whiskey!
91
00:03:54,208 --> 00:03:55,858
Okay.
92
00:04:00,998 --> 00:04:03,564
Sir, my... my name is
Reverend Ezekiel Brown.
93
00:04:04,281 --> 00:04:06,111
Can I ask who you are?
94
00:04:07,658 --> 00:04:08,788
I'm nobody.
95
00:04:12,878 --> 00:04:14,138
Um, Jim Nobody.
96
00:04:14,188 --> 00:04:17,228
Yeah, I'm... I'm a frontiersman.
97
00:04:17,278 --> 00:04:19,318
You see, I was just out
on the dusty trail,
98
00:04:19,368 --> 00:04:20,948
Argh! And, uh...
99
00:04:20,989 --> 00:04:23,148
Out of nowhere,
this gang of outlaws comes
100
00:04:23,198 --> 00:04:25,058
and they... they shoot me in the back.
101
00:04:26,083 --> 00:04:27,731
By the way, how's it looking back there?
102
00:04:27,781 --> 00:04:29,678
Good. It's bad.
103
00:04:29,718 --> 00:04:32,288
Uh, a frontiersman? Sir, by any chance,
104
00:04:32,328 --> 00:04:34,158
have your travels taken you to Oregon?
105
00:04:34,208 --> 00:04:36,298
Sure, once or twice.
106
00:04:36,338 --> 00:04:37,768
I've been all over this damn country
107
00:04:37,818 --> 00:04:40,078
- more times than I can count.
- This is it!
108
00:04:40,128 --> 00:04:41,948
This is the man who can
take us to Oregon.
109
00:04:41,998 --> 00:04:44,218
You said yourself, John,
all we needed was a guide
110
00:04:44,258 --> 00:04:46,335
and God has sent us this man.
111
00:04:46,528 --> 00:04:51,817
Sir, will you lead us
to our salvation in Oregon?
112
00:04:52,218 --> 00:04:53,658
No.
113
00:04:53,698 --> 00:04:55,358
- What?
- Look,
114
00:04:55,398 --> 00:04:57,228
I appreciate you patching me up and all,
115
00:04:57,268 --> 00:04:59,548
but I have no interest in chaperoning
116
00:04:59,580 --> 00:05:02,318
a bunch of soft-bellied,
slack-jawed dirt farmers
117
00:05:02,358 --> 00:05:03,829
across the country.
118
00:05:04,408 --> 00:05:05,408
- No offense.
- None taken.
119
00:05:05,448 --> 00:05:06,628
I got the medicine from town,
120
00:05:06,668 --> 00:05:08,148
and you won't believe the news.
121
00:05:08,198 --> 00:05:10,718
Benny the Teen robbed Fort McAlister.
122
00:05:10,758 --> 00:05:13,458
Benny the Teen, the notorious outlaw?
123
00:05:13,508 --> 00:05:14,898
In these parts?
124
00:05:14,938 --> 00:05:15,970
They're sending in federal marshals
125
00:05:16,010 --> 00:05:17,378
across the territory to find him.
126
00:05:17,418 --> 00:05:20,598
Ah, you know what?
127
00:05:20,638 --> 00:05:22,518
I think I'll take you
to Oregon after all.
128
00:05:22,558 --> 00:05:24,518
Great! What changed your mind?
129
00:05:24,558 --> 00:05:26,298
Just figured, why say no
when you can say yes?
130
00:05:26,348 --> 00:05:28,218
In fact I think
we should leave right now.
131
00:05:28,258 --> 00:05:29,608
Oh, but don't we need time
132
00:05:29,648 --> 00:05:30,738
to plan the route
and stock up on supplies?
133
00:05:30,778 --> 00:05:33,438
Nah, the Oregon Trail's a straight shot.
134
00:05:33,478 --> 00:05:36,138
I mean, we can pretty much wing it.
135
00:05:37,698 --> 00:05:39,488
Okay!
136
00:05:39,519 --> 00:05:41,228
Who's excited to go to Oregon?
137
00:05:41,268 --> 00:05:43,928
All right! Come on! Time's a-wasting.
138
00:05:57,458 --> 00:05:58,988
Hey, looking good, Granny McGill.
139
00:05:59,028 --> 00:06:01,548
Hey, Reverend. All this bouncing around
140
00:06:01,598 --> 00:06:03,508
reminds me of my wedding night.
141
00:06:03,558 --> 00:06:05,688
- Ha ha!
- Okay.
142
00:06:05,728 --> 00:06:07,118
Oh, um, howdy, wagon master.
143
00:06:07,168 --> 00:06:09,208
You mind if I ride up front with you?
144
00:06:09,258 --> 00:06:10,395
Be my guest.
145
00:06:11,688 --> 00:06:13,388
- Ah!
- Okay.
146
00:06:14,918 --> 00:06:17,658
So, tell me, what's life like
as a frontiersman, then?
147
00:06:19,048 --> 00:06:21,438
Well, you know, it's, uh...
148
00:06:21,488 --> 00:06:24,488
roaming the frontier,
doing frontier stuff.
149
00:06:25,035 --> 00:06:26,870
Oh, fascinating.
150
00:06:27,318 --> 00:06:30,318
What kind of frontier stuff?
You know, specifically?
151
00:06:32,238 --> 00:06:35,238
Uh, you know, little of this,
little of that.
152
00:06:35,278 --> 00:06:39,718
It's frontier stuff. I don't
know how else to explain it.
153
00:06:39,768 --> 00:06:41,508
How friggin' awesome is this?
154
00:06:42,010 --> 00:06:44,378
Just the open land, fresh air,
155
00:06:44,418 --> 00:06:46,898
just the sense of adventure.
156
00:06:46,948 --> 00:06:48,948
I feel free.
157
00:06:49,343 --> 00:06:50,783
Prudence!
158
00:06:50,808 --> 00:06:53,768
Oh, God. I should get that.
159
00:06:55,348 --> 00:06:56,648
Yes, dear?
160
00:06:56,698 --> 00:06:59,178
I'm feeling wagon-sick.
Can you rub my belly?
161
00:07:01,735 --> 00:07:02,915
Of course, dear.
162
00:07:06,448 --> 00:07:09,663
I, like, hate this trip already.
163
00:07:10,008 --> 00:07:13,098
The wagons are so bumpy.
The oxen smell like shit.
164
00:07:13,500 --> 00:07:15,278
Like, would it kill them
to just put a skylight
165
00:07:15,318 --> 00:07:16,538
in one of these things?
166
00:07:16,588 --> 00:07:18,408
You know, you might actually
167
00:07:18,458 --> 00:07:20,718
enjoy it more
if you just left the wagon.
168
00:07:21,049 --> 00:07:23,328
Yeah, it's really beautiful out there.
169
00:07:23,378 --> 00:07:26,198
I saw a cloud that looked
just like a rabbit.
170
00:07:26,248 --> 00:07:30,508
Oh. That's nice,
but, that makes no sense.
171
00:07:30,558 --> 00:07:32,338
Right? 'Cause clouds look like clouds,
172
00:07:32,378 --> 00:07:35,338
and rabbits look like...
173
00:07:35,388 --> 00:07:36,558
Rabbits.
174
00:07:36,608 --> 00:07:38,518
- Okay?
- You're right.
175
00:07:38,558 --> 00:07:39,908
Now less talk-talk and more rub-rub.
176
00:07:39,958 --> 00:07:41,828
I'm just gonna lie here
until we get to Oregon.
177
00:07:44,478 --> 00:07:46,918
Enough about me. What's...
What's your deal?
178
00:07:46,958 --> 00:07:49,048
I notice you talk crazy.
179
00:07:49,098 --> 00:07:50,968
Well, I was born and raised in England.
180
00:07:51,008 --> 00:07:53,358
Well, not raised, actually.
I'm an orphan, so...
181
00:07:53,408 --> 00:07:55,148
Oh, well, sorry to hear that.
182
00:07:55,188 --> 00:07:56,708
Yes, the headmistress would beat me
183
00:07:56,758 --> 00:07:58,108
with a shovel every morning
184
00:07:58,148 --> 00:07:59,758
and feed me scraps
of shoe leather for dinner.
185
00:07:59,798 --> 00:08:02,368
To earn my keep I had
to dance naked for pennies.
186
00:08:02,716 --> 00:08:04,368
Pennies can really hurt.
187
00:08:04,801 --> 00:08:06,068
Wow, that sounds rough.
188
00:08:06,108 --> 00:08:08,597
No, actually, it's a pretty
standard childhood in England.
189
00:08:11,858 --> 00:08:13,298
Ho!
190
00:08:13,358 --> 00:08:14,468
U.S. Marshals.
191
00:08:14,811 --> 00:08:16,378
Pull over.
192
00:08:22,428 --> 00:08:24,128
We're looking for an outlaw,
193
00:08:24,168 --> 00:08:27,258
goes by the name of Benny the Teen.
194
00:08:27,308 --> 00:08:29,958
Oh, yes, we heard about
the robbery at Fort McAlister.
195
00:08:30,008 --> 00:08:31,048
Terrible business.
196
00:08:31,084 --> 00:08:32,228
I'm Reverend Ezekiel Brown.
197
00:08:32,268 --> 00:08:33,914
This is our wagon master, Jim Nobody.
198
00:08:36,098 --> 00:08:37,918
Nobody, huh?
199
00:08:39,408 --> 00:08:40,498
It's German.
200
00:08:40,972 --> 00:08:42,582
German.
201
00:08:46,498 --> 00:08:49,548
German-Dutch, eh... Scottish.
202
00:08:49,588 --> 00:08:51,718
French.
203
00:08:51,768 --> 00:08:56,118
Would you mind removing
your hat, please, Mr. Nobody?
204
00:09:02,868 --> 00:09:04,688
You've never seen this man before?
205
00:09:04,738 --> 00:09:08,038
No. I don't recognize him at all.
206
00:09:08,088 --> 00:09:10,398
Handsome guy, though.
Beautiful mustache.
207
00:09:11,528 --> 00:09:12,958
Oh, hey!
208
00:09:13,008 --> 00:09:14,138
Get this off me!
209
00:09:14,178 --> 00:09:16,658
What... I... come on!
210
00:09:16,708 --> 00:09:19,058
What... oh! Oh.
211
00:09:20,448 --> 00:09:21,798
No, doesn't ring a bell.
212
00:09:21,838 --> 00:09:25,278
I'm just so sorry for
the inconvenience, gentlemen.
213
00:09:25,318 --> 00:09:26,848
Happy trails.
214
00:09:26,888 --> 00:09:29,678
Yeah, keep up the good work, officer.
215
00:09:29,718 --> 00:09:32,548
Whoo! Whoo!
216
00:09:32,588 --> 00:09:35,068
Hoo hoo!
217
00:09:35,118 --> 00:09:37,659
All right, let's get back on the trail.
218
00:09:41,558 --> 00:09:44,118
So there I was, with just my boots on,
219
00:09:44,168 --> 00:09:46,128
when her husband kicks down the door.
220
00:09:46,803 --> 00:09:49,348
I don't think the fair reverend's
gonna like this next part.
221
00:09:49,388 --> 00:09:50,828
Yeah, I bet I won't.
222
00:09:50,868 --> 00:09:52,788
Ooh. Somebody's got a snake in his boot.
223
00:09:53,284 --> 00:09:55,958
Ooh. Speaking of snakes,
224
00:09:56,008 --> 00:09:57,958
I gotta drain the ol' sidewinder.
225
00:09:58,008 --> 00:10:00,708
I call it that because
of how weird it looks.
226
00:10:02,008 --> 00:10:03,188
All right, everyone, listen up.
227
00:10:03,228 --> 00:10:05,448
That man is not who he claims to be.
228
00:10:05,488 --> 00:10:07,668
- That is Benny the Teen.
- Who? The mysterious wagon master
229
00:10:07,708 --> 00:10:09,798
- who appeared out of thin air?
- Yes! Him.
230
00:10:09,848 --> 00:10:11,798
And we have to do something
before he slips away.
231
00:10:11,848 --> 00:10:14,758
Whew! Ahh. False alarm.
232
00:10:16,182 --> 00:10:17,718
Is it true what the rev says?
233
00:10:17,994 --> 00:10:19,774
Are you Benny the Teen?
234
00:10:22,158 --> 00:10:23,558
All right, I am.
235
00:10:25,558 --> 00:10:26,818
Ooh...
236
00:10:26,858 --> 00:10:28,818
Benny the Teen!
237
00:10:28,858 --> 00:10:31,078
What?
238
00:10:32,558 --> 00:10:34,478
We got a celebrity in our midst.
239
00:10:34,518 --> 00:10:36,958
He's not a celebrity.
He's a famous murderer.
240
00:10:36,998 --> 00:10:39,088
Please, stay as long as you need.
241
00:10:39,138 --> 00:10:41,087
It is our honor to be led
242
00:10:41,111 --> 00:10:43,578
- by the Benny the Teen.
- Yeah!
243
00:10:43,618 --> 00:10:45,358
Brethren, what are we thinking?
244
00:10:45,398 --> 00:10:47,878
We cannot allow ourselves
to be led by this man.
245
00:10:47,928 --> 00:10:50,538
This man's a criminal!
He's done terrible things.
246
00:10:50,578 --> 00:10:51,578
He's done nothing bad to me.
247
00:10:51,628 --> 00:10:52,848
No, not yet. He just got here.
248
00:10:52,888 --> 00:10:54,148
What if he robs you?
What if he kills you?
249
00:10:54,188 --> 00:10:55,538
Well, that's different.
That'd be a discussion.
250
00:10:55,588 --> 00:10:56,588
Unbelievable.
251
00:10:56,628 --> 00:10:58,418
Well, I guess it's settled, then.
252
00:10:58,458 --> 00:11:00,768
Now, where was I? Oh, yes, the husband.
253
00:11:00,808 --> 00:11:02,898
Well, he looks at us and he says,
254
00:11:02,938 --> 00:11:05,638
"Don't stop. I'm into it. Keep going."
255
00:11:05,678 --> 00:11:07,378
And then I shot him.
256
00:11:08,818 --> 00:11:11,518
Sounds like they're
having fun out there.
257
00:11:11,558 --> 00:11:13,298
Well, why don't we have
some fun in here?
258
00:11:16,828 --> 00:11:18,608
I heard what you said earlier
259
00:11:18,648 --> 00:11:21,088
about wanting me to enjoy myself.
260
00:11:21,128 --> 00:11:24,698
Well, I'm feeling much better now.
261
00:11:24,748 --> 00:11:26,048
Well, that's nice, but I...
262
00:11:28,585 --> 00:11:31,415
I want you to just sit right there
263
00:11:31,538 --> 00:11:35,148
and you let Monsieur Todd
grab the martinis.
264
00:11:35,188 --> 00:11:37,030
I made them extra dirty.
265
00:11:37,718 --> 00:11:39,668
With stagnant pond water
I found beside the road.
266
00:11:39,718 --> 00:11:42,848
Oh, I don't think that's a good idea.
267
00:11:42,898 --> 00:11:45,198
You can catch dysentery like that.
268
00:11:48,208 --> 00:11:49,298
Ooh, it's spicy.
269
00:11:50,508 --> 00:11:52,298
No, thank you. I can't...
270
00:11:52,338 --> 00:11:53,908
hold my liquor like you can.
271
00:11:53,948 --> 00:11:55,615
I see.
272
00:11:56,404 --> 00:11:57,714
Straight to business, then.
273
00:11:59,388 --> 00:12:00,382
- Okay.
- Okay.
274
00:12:00,413 --> 00:12:01,753
- Are you good?
- Yeah.
275
00:12:03,918 --> 00:12:06,125
Did you hear that? Must've been an owl.
276
00:12:06,876 --> 00:12:08,788
They're all over these parts.
277
00:12:08,828 --> 00:12:10,488
Anyway, where were we?
278
00:12:10,528 --> 00:12:12,008
Aah!
279
00:12:12,048 --> 00:12:14,008
They're... really hooting tonight.
280
00:12:14,058 --> 00:12:16,318
- Do you maybe need to step outside?
- No, no, no.
281
00:12:16,358 --> 00:12:18,498
I'm good, I'm... hey.
282
00:12:18,538 --> 00:12:20,538
I'm so good.
283
00:12:20,588 --> 00:12:22,450
Ooh.
284
00:12:23,498 --> 00:12:25,548
Ah. Aah!
285
00:12:27,328 --> 00:12:29,068
Love you.
286
00:12:29,118 --> 00:12:31,858
Oh, Lord! It's like
the great Mississippi
287
00:12:31,898 --> 00:12:34,898
gushing from my ass!
288
00:12:38,598 --> 00:12:40,818
Hey, kid. Want to come
sit up front with me?
289
00:12:40,868 --> 00:12:43,496
No, thank you. I don't sit
next to evil sinners.
290
00:12:44,828 --> 00:12:47,048
You know, nothing's really
changed, if you think about it.
291
00:12:47,088 --> 00:12:49,218
I'm still taking you to Oregon.
292
00:12:49,268 --> 00:12:51,568
Might be a nicer trip
if we were more friendly-like.
293
00:12:51,618 --> 00:12:54,228
I'm not your friend.
I thought you were sent by God
294
00:12:54,268 --> 00:12:55,658
but it turns out
you were sent by the devil.
295
00:12:55,708 --> 00:12:58,318
Whoa!
296
00:13:05,848 --> 00:13:07,238
Hey, guys!
297
00:13:07,278 --> 00:13:08,888
Oop! Sorry about the gunshot.
298
00:13:08,938 --> 00:13:11,238
I know it's, like, super loud.
299
00:13:11,288 --> 00:13:13,728
Can everyone please
step out of their wagons?
300
00:13:13,768 --> 00:13:15,768
- Who is he?
- Bad news.
301
00:13:16,508 --> 00:13:18,818
Yeah, thanks. I'm that guy.
302
00:13:18,858 --> 00:13:21,778
Have any of you seen Benny the Teen?
303
00:13:21,818 --> 00:13:23,258
With all due respect, sir,
304
00:13:23,298 --> 00:13:25,078
we already got searched by the sheriff.
305
00:13:25,128 --> 00:13:27,518
Oh, with all due respect, ma'am,
306
00:13:27,558 --> 00:13:29,518
I ain't the sheriff.
307
00:13:29,568 --> 00:13:30,788
I'm a bounty hunter.
308
00:13:31,169 --> 00:13:33,958
I've brought hundreds of men
to the noose,
309
00:13:34,008 --> 00:13:36,488
but Benny the Teen has always eluded me.
310
00:13:36,528 --> 00:13:39,748
That is, until I found
a trail of bloody footprints
311
00:13:39,788 --> 00:13:42,488
leading from Fort McAlister
312
00:13:42,538 --> 00:13:45,798
to your town. Imagine that.
313
00:13:46,351 --> 00:13:49,538
So let me ask you one more time.
314
00:13:49,979 --> 00:13:54,028
Have any of you seen Benny the Teen?
315
00:13:54,068 --> 00:13:55,718
Benny.
316
00:13:56,768 --> 00:13:58,028
Oh, sorry, I just...
317
00:13:58,068 --> 00:13:59,508
Sorry! Benny.
318
00:13:59,548 --> 00:14:01,118
Is it allergies? Uch.
319
00:14:01,158 --> 00:14:04,248
My sinuses go crazy, too.
I feel you, brother.
320
00:14:04,298 --> 00:14:07,518
I'm saying Benny is in there.
321
00:14:09,688 --> 00:14:11,348
Everyone stand back.
322
00:14:13,388 --> 00:14:14,658
I got you.
323
00:14:14,698 --> 00:14:16,568
Congrats! You found me.
324
00:14:16,608 --> 00:14:17,748
But you'll never catch me.
325
00:14:17,924 --> 00:14:19,528
To the trees!
326
00:14:22,838 --> 00:14:24,748
Guess I'm a little rusty.
327
00:14:24,798 --> 00:14:26,188
Stop playing hard to get.
328
00:14:26,228 --> 00:14:27,538
Thank you, Reverend.
You've done a good deed
329
00:14:27,578 --> 00:14:29,148
bringing this villain to justice.
330
00:14:29,435 --> 00:14:30,978
Yeah, thanks, Ezekiel.
331
00:14:31,018 --> 00:14:32,978
Good luck getting to Oregon now.
332
00:14:40,938 --> 00:14:42,768
No, no, we can still get to Oregon.
333
00:14:42,808 --> 00:14:44,768
We just follow the trail.
334
00:14:45,508 --> 00:14:48,858
Oh, no. Where, um...
335
00:14:48,908 --> 00:14:51,208
Where... where is that trail?
336
00:14:57,048 --> 00:14:58,788
Hey, Zeke. Doing all right?
337
00:14:58,828 --> 00:15:00,088
Yeah! Yeah, great.
338
00:15:00,138 --> 00:15:01,478
Benny's off to jail and it's gonna be
339
00:15:01,528 --> 00:15:03,308
smooth sailing all the way to Oregon.
340
00:15:03,358 --> 00:15:04,968
I am perfectly capable of leading us.
341
00:15:05,008 --> 00:15:08,318
I just need to figure out
which way is west.
342
00:15:08,358 --> 00:15:09,578
Um...
343
00:15:11,408 --> 00:15:13,848
Huh. Yeah, this isn't a map.
344
00:15:13,888 --> 00:15:16,628
This is an anatomical
drawing of a horse.
345
00:15:16,668 --> 00:15:18,609
Yes, so it is.
346
00:15:19,068 --> 00:15:21,548
Hmm, there are its powerful haunches.
347
00:15:21,988 --> 00:15:24,638
Oh, God. We're screwed, aren't we?
348
00:15:24,678 --> 00:15:25,678
Yeah.
349
00:15:25,728 --> 00:15:27,208
It doesn't make any sense!
350
00:15:27,248 --> 00:15:29,728
Why? Why would God send
an evil man to lead us
351
00:15:29,768 --> 00:15:31,078
on a righteous mission?
352
00:15:31,118 --> 00:15:33,208
Why, God, why? What do you want from me?
353
00:15:33,258 --> 00:15:35,208
Is this some sort of test,
you sick son of a bitch?
354
00:15:35,258 --> 00:15:36,868
- Whoa!
- You want me to crawl on the ground
355
00:15:36,908 --> 00:15:38,298
and spank my little arse, do you?
356
00:15:38,348 --> 00:15:40,478
- I'll do it!
- Oh, my...
357
00:15:40,518 --> 00:15:42,576
Is this what you like?
Am I a good little piggy?
358
00:15:42,631 --> 00:15:44,788
- Oink! Oink!
- Hey! Hey, cut it out.
359
00:15:44,828 --> 00:15:46,968
Come on, knock it off.
360
00:15:47,014 --> 00:15:49,324
Get up. Hey! Listen.
361
00:15:49,358 --> 00:15:51,748
What if God isn't punishing you?
362
00:15:51,798 --> 00:15:54,058
Maybe God's okay with you
doing a little bad
363
00:15:54,098 --> 00:15:56,368
if it means doing a lot of good?
364
00:15:58,483 --> 00:16:00,198
You're right. You're right.
365
00:16:00,238 --> 00:16:01,848
We need to get Benny back.
366
00:16:01,888 --> 00:16:03,498
Yes! Thank you.
367
00:16:03,548 --> 00:16:05,808
Okay, the bounty hunter
probably hasn't gotten far.
368
00:16:05,848 --> 00:16:06,938
We can still catch up.
369
00:16:06,988 --> 00:16:08,068
Prudence? Where are you?
370
00:16:08,118 --> 00:16:09,678
I blasted through that toilet paper.
371
00:16:09,728 --> 00:16:11,688
We're gonna need
something much stronger.
372
00:16:12,838 --> 00:16:14,058
Do you have to deal with that?
373
00:16:15,208 --> 00:16:17,298
No. Todd can take care of himself.
374
00:16:17,338 --> 00:16:18,738
Let's get out of here.
375
00:16:19,948 --> 00:16:23,591
Oh! No, it's fine.
I found some red ivy here.
376
00:16:24,854 --> 00:16:26,608
Maybe if I rub it in real good and deep
377
00:16:26,658 --> 00:16:27,698
it'll feel better.
378
00:16:29,138 --> 00:16:30,528
Hey?
379
00:16:30,568 --> 00:16:33,318
Seeing as this might be
our last chat and all,
380
00:16:33,358 --> 00:16:35,098
I've always been curious...
How come you never
381
00:16:35,138 --> 00:16:36,708
tell anyone your name?
382
00:16:36,748 --> 00:16:39,968
A man needs a name so his people
know what to call him by.
383
00:16:40,566 --> 00:16:41,978
I don't got people.
384
00:16:42,402 --> 00:16:44,018
Ahh.
385
00:16:44,068 --> 00:16:45,408
Nah, I'm not buying it.
386
00:16:45,458 --> 00:16:47,848
I think it's because you have
a really weird name.
387
00:16:48,282 --> 00:16:50,028
Let me guess... Is it Nerbert?
388
00:16:50,068 --> 00:16:51,678
My name's not Nerbert.
389
00:16:51,728 --> 00:16:52,808
Is it Frampton?
390
00:16:52,858 --> 00:16:55,818
- Frampton...
- Oh! I got it. It's Dingus.
391
00:16:55,858 --> 00:16:57,718
My name isn't Dingus, okay?
392
00:16:57,767 --> 00:16:59,728
I'm not playing this game
with you anymore.
393
00:16:59,778 --> 00:17:01,295
You annoy me.
394
00:17:01,688 --> 00:17:03,548
Hello! Excuse me.
395
00:17:03,958 --> 00:17:05,908
Reverend? What are you doing here?
396
00:17:05,958 --> 00:17:07,698
We just wanted to say thank you again
397
00:17:07,738 --> 00:17:10,088
for capturing this despicable
piece of human scum.
398
00:17:10,138 --> 00:17:11,528
Boy. Kick a man when he's down much?
399
00:17:11,568 --> 00:17:14,008
And in honor of this historic occasion,
400
00:17:14,048 --> 00:17:15,788
we thought you might like a photograph.
401
00:17:15,838 --> 00:17:18,188
The day Benny the Teen
was brought to justice
402
00:17:18,228 --> 00:17:20,188
by the great, um...
403
00:17:20,228 --> 00:17:22,928
- Dingus.
- Shut up!
404
00:17:23,978 --> 00:17:26,498
Wow! Uh, yeah, no. Uh, um...
405
00:17:26,538 --> 00:17:27,938
I'll do a photo, yeah, sure.
406
00:17:27,978 --> 00:17:30,422
Great! Okay, so just
come a little closer.
407
00:17:30,464 --> 00:17:31,678
- All right.
- A little more.
408
00:17:31,718 --> 00:17:33,068
I'm blushing.
409
00:17:33,108 --> 00:17:35,068
A little closer, and then
just look right here.
410
00:17:35,118 --> 00:17:36,858
What should I do?
411
00:17:36,898 --> 00:17:38,988
Maybe like a... No.
412
00:17:39,028 --> 00:17:40,988
Um, I'll do the gun, the guns.
413
00:17:41,038 --> 00:17:44,078
Okay, and now just say "cheese"
for 20 minutes.
414
00:17:44,128 --> 00:17:46,649
Cheese...
415
00:17:47,688 --> 00:17:50,348
- I'm getting you out of here.
- Oh! My man.
416
00:17:50,388 --> 00:17:51,868
Eeee... That's really good.
417
00:17:51,918 --> 00:17:54,138
Just keep it going,
just a couple more minutes.
418
00:17:54,178 --> 00:17:55,748
Eee...
419
00:17:55,788 --> 00:17:58,008
- Can't get these ropes off.
- That's okay.
420
00:17:58,048 --> 00:18:00,188
I can wiggle my way
out of any situation.
421
00:18:00,480 --> 00:18:04,098
- Wiggle free!
- No. Stop wiggling!
422
00:18:04,148 --> 00:18:05,358
It's working! I can feel it!
423
00:18:05,408 --> 00:18:06,838
It's not working!
It's making it tighter.
424
00:18:06,888 --> 00:18:08,978
- Okay, come on, get up.
- Hey, what's going on?
425
00:18:10,368 --> 00:18:12,033
All right, nobody move.
426
00:18:12,458 --> 00:18:13,718
- Damn it.
- No funny business.
427
00:18:13,758 --> 00:18:14,978
Put your hands up
where the sun don't shine.
428
00:18:15,028 --> 00:18:16,718
You want me to put my hands up my butt?
429
00:18:17,246 --> 00:18:18,378
- What?
- You said you wanted me
430
00:18:18,418 --> 00:18:20,208
to put my hands
where the sun don't shine.
431
00:18:20,248 --> 00:18:21,326
That would be my butt.
432
00:18:21,366 --> 00:18:22,818
That is what you said technically.
433
00:18:22,858 --> 00:18:24,688
All right, would you just
give me a break for a second?
434
00:18:24,728 --> 00:18:26,208
This is my first time
sticking somebody up.
435
00:18:26,248 --> 00:18:28,258
- I'm very nervous.
- All right, forget I said anything.
436
00:18:28,298 --> 00:18:29,648
- You're... you're doing great.
- Thank you.
437
00:18:29,688 --> 00:18:32,922
All right, what's your plan
here, huh, pardner?
438
00:18:32,959 --> 00:18:34,868
'Cause you don't seem to me
439
00:18:34,918 --> 00:18:36,918
like the killing type.
440
00:18:39,788 --> 00:18:41,938
Take that!
441
00:18:42,618 --> 00:18:44,354
Take his horse. Let's go.
442
00:18:45,658 --> 00:18:47,008
Oh...
443
00:18:47,058 --> 00:18:49,498
Hey, hey, wait! I'm still tied up!
444
00:18:50,448 --> 00:18:52,886
Better luck next time, Dingus!
445
00:18:52,941 --> 00:18:55,108
My name's not Dingus.
446
00:18:55,148 --> 00:18:58,328
Well, joke's on you,
'cause that horse sucks.
447
00:19:02,508 --> 00:19:05,002
Hey, everyone! We got Benny back!
448
00:19:06,688 --> 00:19:07,638
Hi, guys.
449
00:19:13,948 --> 00:19:15,128
How'd you do it?
450
00:19:15,168 --> 00:19:17,088
It was all Pru's idea.
451
00:19:17,128 --> 00:19:18,128
She tricked the bounty hunter.
452
00:19:18,178 --> 00:19:19,528
Well, my plan wouldn't have worked
453
00:19:19,568 --> 00:19:22,008
if Ezekiel hadn't pulled
a friggin' gun on the guy.
454
00:19:22,048 --> 00:19:23,088
Aah, I did do that.
455
00:19:23,138 --> 00:19:24,578
Prudence! There you are!
456
00:19:26,658 --> 00:19:28,398
Oh, my God, Todd.
457
00:19:29,026 --> 00:19:32,708
Oh, yes. The ivy made things much worse.
458
00:19:32,758 --> 00:19:34,188
Thankfully, though, I was able to
459
00:19:34,238 --> 00:19:36,058
fashion this undergarment
460
00:19:36,108 --> 00:19:37,668
out of surplus wagon materials.
461
00:19:37,718 --> 00:19:40,288
Sort of a gentleman's napkin,
if you will.
462
00:19:40,328 --> 00:19:42,898
Anyway, um, I will need you
463
00:19:42,938 --> 00:19:44,768
to lather aloe all over my body,
464
00:19:44,808 --> 00:19:48,118
as I am a wee bit concerned
my skin is going to explode.
465
00:19:48,504 --> 00:19:50,118
Of course, dear.
466
00:19:52,425 --> 00:19:55,168
Thanks, Zeke. That was really fun.
467
00:19:55,208 --> 00:19:57,608
Yeah, it was. Well, um,
468
00:19:58,222 --> 00:19:59,648
we should do it again some time.
469
00:20:01,922 --> 00:20:03,308
I'd like that.
470
00:20:11,482 --> 00:20:12,878
I gotta admit, those were some
471
00:20:12,928 --> 00:20:14,928
pretty impressive
bandit moves back there.
472
00:20:14,968 --> 00:20:16,498
You know, I think you got
a little bit more
473
00:20:16,538 --> 00:20:18,148
bad guy in you than you think.
474
00:20:18,188 --> 00:20:20,188
Well, I think you have a little bit more
475
00:20:20,238 --> 00:20:21,278
good guy in you than you think.
476
00:20:21,328 --> 00:20:22,808
I don't know about that.
477
00:20:22,848 --> 00:20:24,848
No, well, I know you have killed people,
478
00:20:24,888 --> 00:20:26,898
but I'm sure it was always
in self-defense.
479
00:20:27,251 --> 00:20:30,068
Not really. Sometimes
it was straight-up murder.
480
00:20:30,305 --> 00:20:31,713
Just men, though, right?
481
00:20:31,738 --> 00:20:33,658
Yeah, yeah, just men.
482
00:20:34,818 --> 00:20:36,428
And women.
483
00:20:37,298 --> 00:20:39,208
And some children.
484
00:20:39,258 --> 00:20:40,608
Bad children, at least?
485
00:20:40,648 --> 00:20:42,958
No, just children.
34389
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