All language subtitles for Knifecorp.2021.1080p.WEBRip.x265-RARBG

- Wally.
- Thanks everyone.

That's how it's done.

Give it up, Blade Bandits.

Knifecorp,
Knifecorp, Knifecorp.

- All right, all
right, all right.

We don't sell knives.

I'm going to say that again.

We don't sell knives.

We sell ourselves.

Yeah.
- Like prostitution?

- Now, when I look
out at this group,

recent high school graduates,

some 11th graders who just
got their parents' permission,

I don't see salespeople
and saleswomen, of course.

I see business owners.

I see entrepreneurs.

I see the future leaders
of this generation.

Raul, now!

Knifecorp,
Knifecorp, Knifecorp,

Knifecorp, Knifecorp, Knifecorp.

- Okay, okay, quiet down.

I know we're all excited to get
out there and start selling,

but knocking on doors,
making pitches to strangers

all day isn't easy

unless you know your why.

That is why I would
like to call up

a very special new recruit
to the Blade Bandits.

I read a lot of applications,

but this one,

this one literally
brought me to tears.

All the way from the Far East,

please welcome, Buddy Chang.

Why don't you tell
everybody your why, Buddy?

Why are you here with
us today at Knifecorp?

- My name is Buddy Chang.

I had barely taken my first
few steps as a child, when I--

Standing above her body
was my father who was--

So I knew I had to come to
America and make a diff--

And now I am here to
use this opportunity

to save as many lives as I can.

So Knifecorp may have
killed my mother,

but it saved my life.

Thank you.

- Thank you for your courage.

Now with that in mind, it
is time to cut you loose,

see how you do in the field.

Now, first-time sellers,
you'll be selling in groups.

You two with Wally Banks.

Can my girlfriend come, too,
we're kind of, you know,

boyfriend-girlfriend.
- I'm not your girlfriend,

you psycho.
- Yeah, that's fine,

I'm not getting involved
with your high school drama.

- Thank you.
- Wait, what the hell?

I don't want to be with them.

- We're inseparable.

- Stop saying that to
people, that's how rumors

get started.
- I only say it to you.

- Real quick, if you
ever feel unsafe, you,

Take your
knives and leave.

- And if you show back up
here without your knives?

- You're going to
have to pay 25 bucks.

- Okay, that's 2,500 bucks.

All right, chief?

Don't lose 'em.

Lastly, we have the
new recruit incentive.

First newbie to sell
a platinum series set

gets a deluxe set to
take home with him,

plus $1,000 cash.

Welcome to Knifecorp.

What's the game
plan when we get there?

Should we team up?

- Well, me being
the obvious leader--

- Being third-string
quarterback does not

qualify you as a leader.

- And having daddy issues
does not qualify you

to make fun of me,
I'm not your bad dad,

even though I know you
want me to be your daddy.

- Ew.
- You want me to adopt you.

- You're so weird, you
take it too far sometimes.

- Hey guys.
- What are you gonna do?

- According to the map, our
territory is right here.

I think we can stop
fighting and start selling.

- Fine, let's
divide up the block.

- Yes, divide and conquer.

That is the only way to
survive a murderous riot

In the Cambodian prison camp.

- Dude, we're just
selling knives, relax.

- No, we don't sell
knives, we sell ourselves.

- I know.
- And he's right,

we need to divide and conquer,
so we can win that prize.

- That's the exact opposite
of what we need to do.

I'm going to sell
the first master set,

get the prize money,
and get my own place

so I can get as far
from my dad as possible.

- Yes, with the money, I
can finally pay the ransom

and free my sister
from the triads.

- Ooh. I hate to bust this
beautiful family picture

you got going on, but
you guys should all know

that I'm going to
win this competition,

because daddy's going to
pimp out his Nissan Sinatra.

- You are so lame, I was so
happy when Sarah dumped you.

- Sarah did not dump me,
just so everyone knows,

it was extremely mutual.

And B, don't act like
you hang out with Sarah.

All right, what, you're like
the second, third hottest girl

at the school and you
don't have any friends.

Does anyone else
think that's weird?

Hot girls are supposed
to have, like,

four to five friends, right?

We've all seen "Mean Girls."

- I pity the women who
let you touch them.

- Just so everyone's
clear, I get tons of pussy.

- Oh yeah? Well you
know who probably gets

way more pussy than all of us?

Van, let's sell some knives
so we can all get more.

- Pussy?
- All right,

Wolf of Wally Street,

what are you going to do with
the prize money if you win?

- I would,

Sorry, one second.

Hey, Mom, is everything okay?

- I didn't mean to bother
you, I just wanted to see

how your first day was going.

- It's fine,

is the house all done?

- Yeah, a couple of the guys
from the precinct came down

to, the rest of this stuff,

but I don't want you to
worry about me so much,

everything's going to be okay.

- Okay, Mom, there's a
competition going on.

If I win, I can pull
some money together.

- I don't think that's
going to work, Wally.

But listen, be careful,
okay, and have fun.

- That doesn't mean
I'm not going to try.

I love you.

- I love you too, sweetheart.

- Oh my God, $10,000.

- Okay, how are we
dividing up the block?

- Already done.

- That was fast.

- Yeah, so I'm going
to take even numbers,

Buddy's going to take odds.

Jed's going to take the
condos on Spring Street

and that leaves you with
the do-not-knock houses.

- What, seriously?

That's not fair.

- Dude, you're like the
best salesman in the group,

it's actually extremely fair.

- It's salesperson.

- It's death of a salesman.

- Who cares, look, I
thought we were teaming up.

We could split the
new prize four ways.

That's a lot of money.

Come on, Buddy.

You said the only way to survive
was to divide and conquer.

- Yes, that was for a
prison camp, though.

$10,000 can finally
arm the resistance

and liberate my village
once and for all.

- Same.
- All right then,

that's settled.

Come on, let's take a selfie.

- No, that's not fair.

- Get in.

Selfie time.

Okay, So let's meet
back here at nine

and winner buys dinner.

- Not going to be me.
- Damn it,

I don't have any reception.

Whatever, I'll tag
you guys later.

- It's Knifecorp.

- Can I help you with something?

- No, no, you look busy.

Sorry to bother you,
have a good day.

- Wait a second.

So what is this?

You peddle cheap
silverware door to door

like one of those
Slicecorp kids?

- It's Knifecorp actually.

And we don't sell
knives, we sell--

- Well, you know
what, sorry I asked.

I'm not interested
in buying anything

and I don't have time for
the whole song and dance.

- Not even for the
son of a deputy?

- Especially not for
the son of a deputy.

Good luck with the next house.

- Wait, my dad was Eddie Banks,

maybe you've heard of him?
He was killed by a 14--

- 14-year-old gang banger
with no priors, yeah.

Every cop west of
Texas knows the story.

I'm sorry about your father,
it's a dangerous job.

- Yeah, he died doing it and
now my mom's about to lose

the house and nobody's doing
a damn thing about it except--

- Like I said, I'm sorry.

But if you came here
looking for help

or looking for some
sucker to buy your crap,

you came to the wrong house.

- Is it the wrong house
or the wrong time?

I mean, I'm pretty
available this week,

so just let me know when--
- Banks.

I am trying to be nice here.

Now, I think it's time you
leave before I report you.

- Okay.

I couldn't help but notice
that you're really struggling.

- Look,

I appreciate the effort.

I get it.

I'm just not interested in
buying anything right now.

- Please allow me,

I can handle this for
you in one second.

Can you hold this?
- No.

- That's fine.

See, that's better.

No more,

all lives matter?

- Yeah, I'm not
really political.

Now, excuse me, I have
to get back inside.

- Wait, just let me give
you a demonstration.

There's absolutely
no obligation to buy

but I really need the practice.

- Okay, you got two minutes, go.

- Oh, can we do this
inside actually?

- Okay.

But remember, I'm
listening, I'm not buying.

- Great, perfect.

- Do we have a deal?

- Deal.

- Close the door behind you.

- Okay.

- This world is so
unstable, unpredictable.

That is why the least you
can do for your family's sake

is to bring stability into
your kitchen with Knifecorp.

- Wow, you really must've
seen some shit, huh?

- If by shit you mean
watching the lives

of everyone you've
ever loved taken

by the hands of a broken system,

then yes, I've seen some shit.

- Honey, why don't
we buy some knives

so this nice man can leave.

- Yeah, that's a good idea.

We will, we'll buy knives.

Why don't you go get the kids
and I'll take care of this.

- It's a little early.

- Traffic, there's so
much traffic today.

- Again.

- Hey Buddy,

you mind showing me that
demonstration again?

- Which knife would
you like to see again?

- Oh I don't know, you have
so many to choose from,

maybe the big one.

- Oh, I have even bigger.

I bet you do.

- You know I once
saw a video internet

that started just like this.

- Say internet again.

- Internet.

America is great.

- It is, God bless.

- Don't touch anything.

It's an historic house.

- Yes, sir.

- Strange house, right?

- Yeah, really nice.

- We just moved in.

- We?

- Sorry, I,

I just lost Brenda
a few months ago.

Old habits, you know?

- I'm sorry to hear that, sir.

- Finn, Angus Finn.

I suggest you get started
because time is ticking

and remember I'm not
buying, just listening.

- Loud and clear, Mr. Finn.

Now let me ask you
a simple question,

are you a quality or a
quantity type of guy?

Well, I'm looking around
and I'm guessing you're

the kind of guy who
cares about quality.

I'm the same way,
and so is Knifecorp.

When I hold up this Potato
Carver Plus in front of me,

what's the first thing you see?

- A knife.

- Okay, but what specifically?

- A virgin holding a knife.

- Okay, but what about the knife

that the virgin is
holding really stands out?

- That he's got about
10 seconds left.

- Well, that's more about
the virgin than the knife.

- And time.

- Wait, do you have a penny?

Please.

Now tell me, Mr. Finn,

have you ever seen a
pair of scissors so sharp

that they can cut
right through copper?

- Oh, sure, let's just
deface some US currency.

- Well, no pair of scissors
can deface US currency

as quickly or easily
as Knifecorp's.

Just got to use a little
pressure and then,

ah shit!

I mean shoot.

- Stay here.

- There's no service?

That's weird.

Ah, shit.

Thank you.

- This has been a real pleasure.

Thank you for trespassing.

- What if instead of
the platinum series,

we go silver lining set, it's
basically the same thing,

but without the scissors,

still great for cutting
things in there.

Mrs. Coleman, I know
you said that you have

cut things before, this
seems really in line

with your wants.

- Thanks, but good luck
with the next house.

- Actually, it's not
really the next house,

it's more of a last house,

the Williamsons down the street.

They've they just texted
me because they're looking

for two platinum
series sets, I guess.

They're going with.
- Hold on.

Debbie bought all of this?

- Well, Debbie, she bought
one, but it was her husband,

David, he bought--

- Get out.

- He bought like
three, 'cause he's got

some friends, I guess, and
he hates going to the mall

to shop for them,

just talking about how
much of a drag it is

to go to the mall, and you
got to park at the mall,

and be at the mall.

Don't want to go to the mall.

- We'll take four.

- Okay, cool, thanks.

And Mr. Coleman, I
just want to say,

on my mom's side, I'm
actually one-18th black

because I'm Sicilian,
so I feel like

this transaction makes sense.

I feel like there's
some good history.

It all feels right.

- Are you sure you live alone?

Because I could have swore
I heard somebody upstairs.

- Why don't you quit
before you get hurt again?

Excuse me.

- That's a lot of meat.

You're going to need some sharp
knives to carve all that up.

- I have knives, thank you.

- Not like these, you don't.

This Carver Deluxe will carve

right through that like butter.

- Fine, you got
five more minutes.

Make yourself useful.

- Great, here, take this
one, I'll use the Mini.

Let's get to work.

- I'm going to regret this.

- You won't regret this
purchase, Mrs. Robinson.

Actually, it's really
more like an investment.

- Well, it is sharp.

- You're very
sharp for noticing.

Us ladies got to stay sharp.

- You know what,
stop saying sharp.

- Sorry.

- Look, you don't have to
sell me so hard on this,

loosen up.

Do you want a glass of wine?

- Oh, I'm actually not
old enough to drink.

- Yeah, well, I'm not old enough

to be going through menopause.

So there's that.

Will it be cash or credit?

- Oh my God, you're amazing.

- Can you feel that
big blade energy

slicing through that bad cut.

- I got to admit, it's
a damn good knife.

- Oh, it's more
than just a knife.

That is a--
- It's getting time

for you to go is what it is.

- Yeah, I guess so.

Thank you for your
time, Mr. Finn.

- Thank you, pal.

It's actually been nice
having some company.

- I had a really nice time, too.

- Whoa, I'm not going
to go steady with you.

- Huh?

You seem to really
like that Carver.

- Gets the job done.

- And speaking of
jobs, before I go,

I really wouldn't be doing my
job if I didn't at least ask

if you wanted to purchase
your own Carver Deluxe.

- We had a deal.

I let you into my
home on the condition

you did not try to
sell me and you lied.

- Daddy.

Go back
upstairs, sweetie.

- Daddy, who is that?

- Daddy, I thought
you lived alone?

- Get out of my house.

- Daddy, please.
- Now!

- Please don't hurt him, please,

he didn't do anything.

Come on--
- You are a liar.

- Please Dad, Dad,
- I don't like liars.

- Stop it.
- Belle, go to your room!

Now, I'm going to
make you a deal.

You don't tell anybody
about what you just saw

and I won't rip your
fucking head off.

Is that a deal?

- Deal.

- Yeah?
- Yes.

- Get out.

- What the hell?

Perfect.

- I guess Wally's not coming,

it's 'cause he's probably
logging in a mountain of sales,

so I say the trifecta council
of Tanya, Jed, and Buddy

nominates Tanya as our winner
and buyer of the dinner.

Tanya, please give us a speech.

- Thank you, Jed, for that
wonderful introduction.

I see that being out in the
field has changed you already.

- Yeah, it totally changed me.

- As you guys know, I've
been trying to save up

some cash to move out,
and thanks to Knifecorp,

I can start packing tonight.

- Look who it is, Mr. Big Knife.

- Wally.
- How many units did you move?

- I'm really not
in the mood, Jed.

- Come on, Wally.

Stop acting like someone
tried to make you eat

your brother's remains
and take a joke.

- You get me, dude.

You tired from filling
out all those order forms?

- Hey, does anyone
know the name of Beauty

in "Beauty and the Beast?"

- Yeah, it's like
Jasmine, right?

I mean, you probably
know the full name

'cause you're like the
Disney fan, so, what is it?

- Okay, A, that's sexist
and, B, my dad hates Disney.

He said only a privileged
white man would write a story

about a girl who needs to
be saved by her friends.

- Janelle, I'm
ringing the bell here.

- I think it was Jasmine.
- Yeah, it was Jasmine.

What is Disney?

- That was kind of
random, what's up?

- This guy, he said
he lived alone,

but he had a
daughter named Belle,

it's like he was hiding
her or something.

And he like freaked
out on me at the end

and kicked me out of his house.

- Wait, who names
their daughter Belle?

That's like naming your
daughter Ding-Dong.

No offense.

- Well, Belle is a French word
for beautiful woman or girl.

- Dude, where are you from?

- The East.

- Where, give me the exact GPS
coordinates of your origin.

- Oh my God, who cares?

Stop being so racist.
- I just, I just wanna--

- Wally, tell us
what we want to know.

How much did you sell?

- I didn't.

- You didn't,

you didn't what?

- I didn't sell anything.

- How could you not
have sold anything?

These knives, like,
literally sell themselves.

- I mean because you guys gave
me the do-not-solicit houses.

- Exactly, and
you're going to be

like the first person
to go to those houses.

- And the last.

- Great way of thinking, guys.

- Wally, we're just
messing with you.

You'll go out and do some demos
tomorrow and get something,

I'm sure of it.

- Dude, honestly, I'm
not even messing with you

as much right now as me
and my football friends

mess with each other.

If you want, we can pretend
like you made a bunch of money

and then keep pretending and
let you pay for the bill.

- Thanks, Jed.

Goodnight, guys.

- Wally, just remember,

don't come back
without your knives.

- That was like spot on.
- Wait,

where are my knives?

- You're going to go right now?

Is this still crazy
hide-a-daughter guy

we've been hearing about?

- I don't have a lot
of other options.

See you guys tomorrow.

- You can't just
let him go alone.

- Wally, wait,
we'll go with you,

gotta walk off this pizza,

I want to see this Jasmine girl.

I got reasons.

- I appreciate it.

- Wally, you have a good soul.

I will follow you
into battle, brother,

for blood is thicker than--
- Well, I'm coming, too.

Breaking into some psycho's
house still beats going home.

- No, wait, we're
not breaking in.

I'm just going to knock on
the door and calmly explain

the situation and ask
for my knives back.

What's the worst
that can happen?

- From my experience< you
could possibly get stabbed.

- Did he say stabbed?

'Cause I was thinking he could
use our knives against us.

- Honestly, I thought Hong
Kong was kind of really cool

and everything, but I was
a little bit grossed out

'cause I saw them kill a snake.

The best part about it was
that it made me appreciate

India more, how do
you feel about China?

I've never been there.

- Are you guys cold?

Oh fuck.

- Not really actually.

- My nipples are so hard, look.

- Oh wow, hard nipples,
your mom must be so proud.

- This one's covered by the--
- He's not answering.

I'll just come back tomorrow.

- Okay, cool.
- No, no, no.

If you don't get
those knives back,

Van is just going to
make you pay for them

and they're, like,
really expensive.

It happened to Sarah's brother.

- Oh really, okay, oh, you're
going to bring up Sarah.

I know what you're doing.

You're trying to
make me feel pain

'cause you like me and you
don't know how to show love.

- You're so dramatic, I can't.

- Has someone told Buddy
that me and Sarah had sex

on the football field,
'cause I feel like--

- Why don't you
just stop talking.

- I just feel like it's
something he should know.

- Hello, guys.

What am I supposed to do now?

- You run, Wally.

You run where they
can never find you.

- Okay, but if you do that,

Van's just going to make
your mom pay for them.

- No, no way.

I'm getting those knives back.

- Okay, he's going to
go get them, he's set.

How?

- I need to borrow someone's
peanut butter spreader.

- I can lead you to
the gates of hell

but I cannot promise
your safe return.

- Thanks for the
confidence boost.

Pass me a paring knife.

Thanks.

Got it.

What are you doing?

I'm just taking my
knives and leaving.

- Never leave a man
alone behind enemy lines.

- Shit, I'm missing the Carver.

- Don't panic, panic
equals suicide.

We will split up
and find your knife.

You go this way,
I'll go that way.

- It's in my room.
- Belle?

- Quick, follow me.

Wait.

what are you doing?

- It's my cello.

I'm lucky he lets
me play it so much.

He said when he grew
up, girls my age

were never allowed
to play at night,

but it doesn't bother him.

- That's great.

Do you have the knife?

- Yeah, but first, can
I play you my song?

- This isn't the best time,
I really need that knife.

- You should really hear it.

I wrote it for you
after you left.

- If your dad finds me,
he's going to kill me.

I really need to get the knife
and get back to my friends.

- Oh, Daddy won't mind.

He knew you'd be back.

- What are you talking about?

Um, what's going on right now?

Belle, please,
where is the knife?

Stop!

- Don't you know it's
rude to stop the symphony

before the crescendo.

- Symphony, you don't
even have strings.

I think you should come with
me, you're not safe here.

- Daddy says this is the
only place that I'm safe.

- I'm sure he has your
best interests at heart.

I'm going to leave now, though.

Please, Belle,
give me the knife.

- That's weird,

I put it right under my pillow,
but it's not there anymore.

- Okay, screw the
knife, I'm out.

- Wait.

- Please, please be copper.

Son of a bitch, fuck.

- Now you can stay here with me.

- No, neither of us
are staying here.

I'm going to try the
window in the hall.

- Oh, now we can be together,

just like I always imagined.

- What are you talking about?

- I knew you'd come one day.

I've been waiting
for you, my prince.

- Wally, Wally, we need to go.

- So, are you in one of those
all-girl Catholic schools?

- Oh, I don't go to school.

- Why not?

- Daddy says school
isn't for smart people.

- Have you ever been outside?

- Not since we
moved to this house.

- Why not?

- Well, I used to run away a
lot back at the other house.

Daddy got super angry
when Brenda died.

- I'm sorry to hear
about your mom.

My dad died recently, too.

- Lucky.

- What?

- That was my first kiss.

- Um, mine too.

- Should we maybe try again?

- Sounds good to me.

- You salesmen really don't
know when to quit, do you?

- Shit.
- Daddy.

- Looking for this, huh?

- Please, please don't kill me.

- Daddy, come on, please,
please, please, Daddy.

- Belle, stop!

Oh, shit.

- Is that real?

- Belle, no!

- Jed, Jed, come on, come on!

- Jed, you run and get help!

Hey, how do you know
that this is where he lives?

- It's listed in the
company directory.

- Yeah, but people don't put

their real information
on those things.

- It is amazing you
graduated from high school.

- I know.

Wait, wait, wait, he's probably
like banging 10 supermodels,

maybe we should just
send him a text first.

- I don't care who he's banging.

We need his help and we
can't go to the police.

- Shit, okay, yeah.

I just really don't want
to be a cockblock, like,

I don't want to do that to him.

- Jed, Stop talking.

- Guys.

- Sorry about this.

- You know, I really
don't appreciate you

coming by unannounced
to my home.

You know, we should really talk

about boundaries because
I don't think it's good

that you guys are just
knocking on doors--

- Van, we don't have
time for this right now.

- There's a dead
girl and she's dead.

- She might not be dead.

- Who's dead, who's she?

- She flew out of the
window, she hit a gargoyle,

and she wasn't moving--

- Honey.

What is going on?

- You guys like hang out in
robes and wing man each other

with all these
models or something?

- Ignore the idiot.

Please just get dressed
and come with us.

- You see this, this is what I,

- Can you guys
give me one minute?

- Are all the models,
like, upstairs?

- Just a minute.
- There are no models.

- What do you mean
there are no models.

- You are not going
anywhere right now.

Blue tie, pink pocket square.

- One of my kid needs me.

Wingtips or boots?

- Well what about our kids, huh?

And please, no argyle.

- These are our kids.

- That is exactly the point.

Tie, definitely tie.

- Why don't we schedule a
time to talk about this?

- I am not one of
your customers.

You look so good right now.

Still, you are not
going to leave at 10 PM

on our date night.

It's like,

I hate this tie.

- Goodnight, moonlight.

- You're gonna need this.

- DVR Cake Boss?

- No, Belle, no.

No.

Oh, Belle.

- Why aren't we
going to the cops?

- Because technically
Wally and Buddy broke in.

- Whoa, what do you
mean technically?

- Like they literally
broke back in.

- Okay, so why didn't
you just say that?

- I mean technically,
yeah, she kind of did.

- Millennials.

- Now what?

- What are you waiting for?

- Are you sure you want
to go in there, like,

this could be a
really dangerous.

- My plan, my rules.

- Can I tell you something
first, though, before we go in?

- Now?

We don't have time.

- Sarah broke up with
me because of you.

- What are you talking about?
We're not even friends.

- When we were partners
in that biology thing,

I was talking about you all
the time, she got super jelly.

- What are yoU doing?

- I don't know.

- We'll talk about this later.

- Oh wait, this is
going to fall out,

it's going to be
like .

We'll just put it here,
okay, one, two, three.

- Doing some cleaning
around the house?

- Yeah, sorry about the noise.

- Oh, no need to apologize, sir.

In fact, I'm here
to apologize to you.

- A little late in the
evening for that, isn't it?

- You know, I have a pretty
bizarre question for you.

I'm actually looking for
my associate, Wally Banks.

He's not here, is he?

- Name doesn't ring a bell.

- I could've sworn he said he
was going to come around here.

- No trespassing
sign right there,

those Knifecorp kids know
not to come to my house.

- Knifecorp, now how'd you
know he's with Knifecorp?

I don't remember mentioning
anything about that.

- Your plaque right
there, dumbass.

- You are quite the detective.

- Former.

- Former detective, of course.

Well, seeing as how you didn't
get a proper demonstration,

would you mind if I came
inside, maybe showed you--

- It's really not a good
time and I am not interested

in buying any knives.

- Well, I'm not interested
in selling any knives.

I'm here to help you invest
in your family's future.

- Get the fuck off my property.

- Now, Mr. Finn.

Did something happen to
your upstairs window?

- Yeah, God damn
neighborhood kids.

- Are you sure that
wasn't one of mine?

You see, I would just feel so
bad if one of my team members

damaged your home,
they are teenagers,

they can get rambunctious,
especially that Wally Banks.

- It was Van, right?

- I never told you my name.

- You know, I think I will take

that demonstration after all.

Come on in.

- I was a three-time Akiva
Friend sales award winner.

I know quality.

And you seem like a
quality guy, right?

Well, like you and like me,
Knifecorp defines quality.

- Wally, Wally.

- Now when I hold up
this Potato Carver Plus,

what is the first thing you see?

- May I?

- Careful with her,
she's a lot of knife.

- Wally, Wally, wake up, Wally.

- What was that?

- Get your Dicer Pro.

- Okay, okay.

Easy, easy.

- Cut on three,

two, one.
- Two, one.

Okay, okay, one more,
one more, one more.

Two, one.
- Two, one.

- Shit.

Banks!

- Buddy, thank you,
thank you so much.

I owe you my life.

- Just promise to live
for those that cannot.

- Yes, yes, I promise.

- We need to regroup,
formulate a new plan.

- I think we need
to go to the police.

- No, no cops.

I cannot risk it.

- Looks like Tanya and Jed left.

I think we should
see where they are.

- I have no bars.

- That's okay, I can still text.

Oh, that
cannot be good.

- They're inside the house.
We need to go back in there.

- No, that would
surely be suicide.

- Didn't you once say
the only difference

between suicide and
martyrdom is press coverage.

- No, that was
Panic! at the Disco.

Very underrated album.

- Oh, you're right.

- Yes, but we have no plan now

and I need more knives.

- I think I know where we
can get some. Follow me.

- Van.

Fuck, dude.

- Jed.
- This is bad,

this is really, this
is for sure bad.

- Is he dead?

- Yes, yes.

- Are you serious?

- It's the deluxe set.

Do you want me to
just leave this?

Don't worry, hide, hide.
- Shit.

- Oh my God.

Fuck, fuck, fuck.

Fuck.

I'm so sorry, Belle.

Fuck.

Yes, yes, yes.

Oh God, Van, Van,
Van, I'm so sorry.

Ah, yes.

Come on.

This is Raj Appel.

- Daddy, Daddy, it's Tanya.

Tanya, why are you
calling me from this number?

- Because you never answer when
I call and I need your help,

I'm trapped in one of
the houses that I--

Hey Tanya, look, I'm
in the middle of something,

.

- No.

Fuck!

Fuck!

- Hey, we're in here.

Hello, help, help, help!

Yo, this guy's doing crazy
horror movie shit in here!

- Hey, now we are not
doing any of that.

- Nuh uh, nuh uh.

- Now, I need to know
who your friends are

and what they may have said
about our little encounter.

- Honestly, I don't know
what you're talking about.

It's just me.

I'm--
- Shut your mouth.

You're going to wake the dead.

Let's start with an
easier question, shall we?

Where is Wally Banks?

- Do you have anything
easier than that?

Where's Van?

- He's supposed to be out
rescuing you two right now.

- Oh no, that mean
he's at the house.

- Are you,

- Okay, we need to move fast.

Where do you keep
your extra demo kits?

- Extra demo kits, does it
say Costco on our front door?

- Uh, no, just ironic
no solicitors sign.

- We need to arm up.

- I'll go get the riot gear.

- Let's go get this fucker.

- What are you doing?

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa, what are you doing,

what are you doing with that?

- I need you to
unlock it for me.

- No, no, that's some violation
of privacy laws, dude.

There's laws, okay, all right.

Yeah, it's one, one,
one, one, one, one.

- Where's your friend's name?

- I told you, I don't have
any friends, I work alone.

I'm like a lone Wolf,
here on my own accord.

- That little fucker
with the curly hair.

- Yeah, he's in there.

He's, if you just go to
that group text right there,

the one with the bunch
of the notifications.

- This one.
- Yeah, click that

and let the names scroll up.

Just click it before
you do other things,

just cli-, just
do, just click it.

- You got one chance.
- I'm trying to help you.

See how you're moving
your thumb, like,

really fast right
now, just click it.

And then it's one of
the top two names,

I don't, we're just
work friends, I forget.

- This ain't "Deal or
No Deal," and I'm not

Howie fucking Mandel.
- Okay.

It's really hard for
me to think right now

because you have me tied up,

it's not a normal
situation that people think

really well in,
just so you know.

Hey,

where are you going
with my phone.

- There's no reception inside.

Besides, are you
really that worried

about your phone right now?

- No.

Kinda, a little bit.

There's some pictures on there.

It's very normal
for someone my age,

I was working out a lot,
and I wanted to document it,

that's it, it's just.

Those were just for
me, if you see those.

Did he answer?

- I need to unlock it again.

- Seriously?

Yeah, it's one, one, one,
it's just a bunch of ones.

Sometimes I forget,
people forget,

it's a forgettable thing.

- All right, I got it.

- Okay, it's just,
yeah, four ones.

- What is that?
- Don't,

that's, that's part of me.

- I've never seen that angle.
- Don't look at it.

- You make me sick.
- Okay, okay,

I'm the freak.
- Disgusting.

- Yeah, I'm the disgusting one.

Yeah, I'm the weird
one, yeah, okay, cool.

- Jed.
- Untie me quick.

He's gonna be back
like any second.

We just gotta, we're gonna,

I'm gonna get us out there,
but we just gotta get

my phone first.
- Okay.

- Got some things on there.

- Jed.
- Yeah.

- Can I tell you something?

- Right now?
- Yes.

- Okay.
- I really liked

working with you, in a
group you're kind of a dick,

but one on one,
you're pretty dope.

- I know, yeah,
I'm bad at groups,

I just get overwhelmed.

Hide, hide, hide, hide, hide.

Please, Lord, just
help me today.

Today's the day I
need your help, Lord.

- Who were you talking to?

- Just, I was just actually
taking the time to pray,

you know, I hadn't
done it today.

Usually try and do one
a day, and I thought,

when's a better time.

- My house is a dead zone,

even God can't hear
you in here .

- So then I guess He
probably wouldn't be able

to hear you either then either.

- What?
- Right?

- Get up, get up.

- What's wrong with you?

Is that all you got,
you little bitch?

Fuck your phone.

Jed, Jed.

Okay, we have to
go, we have to go.

The door's locked.

We got to find a key.

- Okay, okay, now, now.

- Yeah, yeah, I just
gotta grab the phone

and we're out the door.
- Jed, go.

Jed!

- Belle.

Belle,

I thought you were dead.

- Belle, what are you talking
about, you killed him.

- I thought I lost you.

Come on, let's go
upstairs, I'll protect you.

- No, please.

Stop, please don't
hurt me, please don't,

you're hurting me.

- Your clothes are filthy,
let's put on your nightgown.

- Nightgown, who am
I, Rue McClanahan?

- I don't want to
argue with you.

Argh, not that one.

No.

Ah, there it is.

- Are you just going
to stand there?

- I will always be here for you

and you know I'd
never hurt you, right?

Right?
- Right.

- Good girl.

You are growing into a
very beautiful woman.

It's just you and me now.

- What do you want from me?

- I want us to move forward.

I never should have blamed
you for hurting mom,

but it was my fault.

I knew you weren't
happy and I stayed away.

- It's okay.

- No, it's not.
- It's really okay.

- I know you didn't mean to
hurt her, but she's gone.

She is gone.

And we need to move on.

Do you forgive me?

- It's a little late for that.

- Don't say that.

- No, get off of me!

- Oh, Belle, Belle, Belle.

Oh, thank God, you're okay.

I thought I lost you.

He keeps the
whole house locked up,

so we're going to have
to figure a way in.

- Or maybe there's a
chimney, or a vent,

or there's something
we can crawl through.

- If yoU think that I'm
going down a chimney

in my Louis Vuittons you
are out of your mind.

- This may not be the
best time to tell you,

given the circumstances,
but those are not

real Louis Vuittons.

- How dare you, you TJ
Maxx-wearing little shit.

What gives you the
right to determine

the authenticity of my shoes?

- When you are born in the
dark bowels of a sweatshop,

you notice certain things.

I've seen your soul.

- Forget about
the fucking shoes.

We need to figure
out how to get in.

- Divide and conquer.

- What does that mean?

- No one knows what that is.

- Oh my God, Van.

- God damn it.

- I miss you, babe.

It's not easy without you here.

God damn it.

- You got this.

. Wally, is that you?
- It's me.

- Oh my God, Wally,
stop climbing,

he's coming, I'll be right back.

What?

- Sweetie, I have
dinner for you.

- Thanks, but I don't eat meat.

- You love daddy's roast.

Just give it a try.

- I'm really not hungry, mister.

- Call me daddy.

- You're not my,

Can I ask you something?
- Anything, sweetie.

- If you love me so much,
why are you locking me up.

- Just eat.
- What's up with that, Dad?

You said I could ask, you're
such a hypocrite, Dad.

- Stop.
- Honestly, you're so full

of shit, Dad.
- Watch your mouth.

You want an answer,
you want to know why?

Because I thought I was
going to lose you for good,

so I kept you to myself.

I know you're a kid and
you don't think like that.

But your mom and I tried
so hard to get you.

I know I wasn't always there
for you, but I'm here now.

It's time to play our song.

- Van, baby, I'm coming
for you in just one second.

911,
what's your emergency?

- Oh, thank God.

My boyfriend is stuck in
this house with his kids,

I mean his employees.

Whose
kids are they, sir?

- Oh my God, that is a
whole other discussion.

The address is
822 Willow Street.

Hold on, please.

I'm sorry, sir, we
already spoke before

and Detective Channing
got the all clear.

- So you're not going to come?

Nuh uh,
there's nothing we can do,

maybe try neighborhood watch.

- What the fuck,
oh my G-, hello?

Okay, I don't need that, Van,
I'm gonna save you today.

There are
no strings on it.

- You don't need
strings to play music.

- Why are you so creepy?

- Please begin.

- What do you want me to do?

- I want you to play
like you always do.

Oh, oh, oh my
God, I'm like Black Panther.

What the fuck?

Oh my Louis's, oh,
they're okay

Okay.

Oh, okay.

Ooh, all right.

What the f-, I am not,

I am not fucKing
stuck, no, oh my God.

- Not like that.

Sounds like we have company.

Excuse me, sweetheart.

Of course, Daddy.

Wally.
- Are you okay?

- He just left,
get me out of here.

- Move away from the wood.

- What?

Be careful.

Wally, is
that you, Wally Banks.

- I'm only looking for
Van, please, I'm so sorry.

I just came here to get Van.

Oh, I'm
sure you're going

to see him again real soon.

Oh my God.

- You haven't lived
'til you've been burned,

, I should know.

Honey, you want one
marshmallow or two?

- Oh my God, oh
my God, oh my God.

Okay.

I got you.

Oh my God, oh my God.

Oh my God.

Thank you.

- Of course.

Shit.
- What?

- We can't go back
out the way I came in.

- So what's the plan?

- Well, I don't know.

Where's Jed?

- He killed them.
- Them?

- Jed and Van.

- Shit, this is so fucked up.

- We need to get Buddy
and get out of here.

- Buddy?

- Where's your
friend, Wally Banks?

- Never heard of him.

- You think this is a joke?

Don't move.

- Did you hear that?

- Yeah, sounded like,

- Wait here.

- Hell no, every time a
dude tells me what to do,

someone ends up dead.

- Fine.

Don't look.

Shit.

- All right, here's the plan.

I'll go get Buddy,
you get the keys.

- Did you not hear me before?

He wants you dead, not me.

So you're not the boss of me,

I go where I want.
- Tanya, we don't have time.

- This might be the last thing
either of us have time for.

- Okay, then fine.

According to your logic,
you should go get the keys

because you're safe
with Finn and I'm not.

Are you happy?

Now you can tweet about
how much of a chauvinist

I am we when we get out.

Now, please go get the key.

- Argh, fine.

- Jesus Christ.

- It's got to be around here.

Please have the keys.

Yes.

- Buddy, Buddy.

Wake up.

- I have the key, we
need to get out of here

before Finn wakes up.

- I'm not leaving
here without Buddy.

- Wally, I am begging
you, we have to go now.

Buddy will be okay,
okay, that's his thing,

he always ends up being okay.

Look, he's going to kill
you, you know that, right?

- I don't know, just give
me a second to think.

Buddy, Buddy, Buddy, it's us.

You're okay, you're
okay, calm down.

We're gonna get you out
of here. Don't panic.

- Wally.

- That's enough for
me to save my house.

- That's enough for me to
get out of my house for good.

Where'd
he get all this?

- Wally, what's going on?

- I don't know, look,
I'm just going to get you

out of here, okay.

- Nickel plated,
no stainless steel.

- What does that mean?

- That saw, that
saw can cut through.

- Are you kidding me?
- Are you insane?

- No, we have no choice.

Have you ever used one before?

- Heck no, I've never
used a saw before.

- That's okay, I will
talk you through.

Okay, hurry up.

- It's okay, you can do it,
I believe in you, Wally.

Okay, found an outlet.

Oh, wonderful.

Okay, it's plugged in.

- What do I do?

- The lever on the side.

- This one?
- Use it

to release the safety.

Okay, good, now,

press the button to
activate on the right.

- Where's the switch?

- Right there, on on the right.

Your other right.

Okay, sorry, sorry.

- Okay, now pull the
trigger very carefully

to activate and turn on.

- Okay, okay.

Ready.

Very slowly.

Three, two.

- Oh, wait, wait,
wait, wait, wait.

- Maybe you practice
on something

for they can be
tricky sometimes.

That's a good
idea, that's a good idea.

- I did it.
- That was amazing.

- Oh my God, let's go,
let's go, let's go.

- Hey, wait, you
forgot about me.

- Oh sorry.
- Idiot.

- I have to do this again?

- One more time, here we go.

Ready, three, two,

you can do this.

Okay, three, two.

- We should probably put on
goggles or something, right?

Yes, sure.

- Oh come on, you're killing me.

- Here, here, here,
there's only one pair.

- You put them on and
I'll just close my eyes.

- Are you fucking stupid?

- Right, I guess that
doesn't make sense.

- Three,

two,

Wally Banks.

How does it feel to be
responsible for all this blood?

- I didn't mean to, I swear.

- You like being
a killer, Banks?

- Don't come any closer.

- You know how this ends, right?

- I'm serious.

- Fancy toys just aren't
as much fun without

power.

- What the fuck?
- Stay back or she dies.

Put it
down, don't hurt her.

- If you want to see her alive,

stay down here, do
you understand that?

- Banks.

Belle!

- You asshole.
- Ow, why are you hitting me?

- You can't fucking
do that to me.

Finn might be a
psycho but he didn't

put a knife to my
fucking throat.

- I'm sorry, I was just
trying to protect you.

Did you get the key?

- What key?

- The key to get us out of here.

- Daddy said it's
not safe out there.

- Tanya, we don't
have time, let's go.

- Come here.

- I told you to stay downstairs.

- Please, don't.
- Now, I have to do this.

- No, ah.

Please, she's all I have.

Time's up.

- Let go.

Let go!

- Come on, let's go.

- Ow, what the fuck, Wally?

- I'm sorry, I really
am, but I had no choice.

Tanya, what are you doing?

- I have no choice.

You said so yourself.

- Tanya, please,

just put the knife down, okay.

We're going to get out of this,

we just need to work together.

- Why, so you can cut me again?

Or threaten me?

What's the next move in your
brilliant escape plan, Wally?

Is your plan To
just let me die here

or use me as bait
because that's no better

than what he's doing.

- Are you actually
defending him right now?

- At least he hasn't hurt me.

- Shh, just put it down.

Put it down.

It's okay, it's okay,

I'm gonna get you
out of here, okay.

Just stay with me.

Fuck, shit,

We need to jump out the window.

- No, I'm not jumping.

- Wally, let my daughter
go and I'll let you walk.

- Let go, you're hurting me.

- Do you trust me?

Do you trust me?

Wally.

- On the count of three.

One,

two,

You're just
like your father.

- You don't know
anything about my father.

- I knew him well
enough to know it was

his own damn fault he died.

Same way it is for you.

- My dad was on patrol, it
could've happened to anyone.

- Is that what they told you?

- I know what
you're trying to do

and it's not going to work.

- Let me do you one favor

before you go meet
your father, huh.

- Shut up.

- Your dad was already
clocked out of his shift

when dispatch reported
a disturbance.

Yeah, he was the
closest patrolman

but he didn't even
have to be there.

- You're lying!

- Those are the facts.

Just like it's a fact that your
boss is dead because of you.

But that's not nearly as
tragic as your friend, Buddy.

And what was that
other kid's name, Ted?

- Jed, Jed.

- All their lives cut
short just because of what,

your crappy little knives.

- Stop talking!

- Hey, you are in my house
now, you listen to me.

You're not a salesman,
Banks, you're a killer.

Four bodies in one
night, that's not bad.

All your friends are dead and
the blood is on your hands.

- I tried to save them.

Oh, now
you sound like Eddie.

Eddie is going to
save the world.

Look where that got him.

- You have no right to
talk about him that way.

- And you had no right
to take my daughter.

- She's not your daughter.

- She is, she is mine.

- Stop fucking humming, Tanya.

- You know what happens to
guys with no spine, Wally?

- Don't.

- I said, do you know
what happens to guys

with no spine, Wally?

They get killed by
little punk asses

with pistols, that's what.

- Tanya, jump!

- That's not my name.

- What?

- That's not my name.

That's not my name.

- Tanya, what are
you talking about?

- That's not my name!

- This all ends tonight.

Murderer!

- According to my tally, your
hands are more red than mine.

- They're about to
get a lot more red.

- You had to fucking knock.

You had to interrupt a calm
night with me and my daughter.

- Belle's dead because of you.

- Don't talk about my
family, you piece of shit.

Apologize.

- Daddy.
- Belle.

- Checkmate.

- So how do you see
this playing out?

You kill me and then what?

Cops come in and find your
treasure trove of bodies.

I was a cop, Wally, they'll
fucking hang you for this.

- It's over.

- You don't want to
kill anybody else.

- I'm taking her
and we're leaving.

- I don't think so.

- What's so funny?

- Your dad,

if he could see you
right now, he'd be sick.

But I never had a son.

And for the first time all
night, I'm proud of ya.

So do it,

do what your dad
should have done.

When he saw that kid
pointing a gun at him.

- Fuck you.
- Do it.

- Are you proud
of me, too, Daddy?

- I'm so sorry, Belle.

I'm so sorry.

I love you, sweetie.

- I love you too, Daddy.

- We're safe again.

- I'm here in Glen
Valley, standing in front

of former detective
Angus Finn's home,

now site to a horrific bloodbath

that's already trending
on social media

as the #KnifeCorpMassacre.

Six bodies have been recovered

and according to authorities,
suspect Wally Banks

was found dead at the
scene of the crime.

Our thoughts and prayers go out

to the families of the victims.

Ladies and gentlemen, I'm
afraid we may be looking

at the new face of
terrorism in America.

- Hey, Blade Bandits, welcome

to the Knifecorp
online training center,

it's Tanya Appel.

So today we're going
to keep it simple

and I'm going to show
you how to use this knife

with veggies, but don't
worry, meat lovers,

I'll show you exactly
what this carver

can do with a piece of flesh.

Let's get started.

Watch your fingers, we don't
want a bloody mess now, do we?

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they're the ultimate winner

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our biggest concern

right outside

knives, exit to your right

take your knives and leave

just get out of sight

take your knives and leave

knives, exit to your right

take your knives and leave

just get out of sight

take your knives and leave

it's a coconut killer

pennies with scissors

you better not hurt her

might get murdered