Original subtitles

You've been using all my damn sketchpads.

I don't know what I'm gonna paint on.

Yeah, consider it rent.

It's not rent It's sketchpads.

All right, well, I would like rent.

hip-hop music

I keep seeing you. Who the hell are you?

Who, Kev? No, he's just--

'Cause I'm charging rent for one person.

If there's two of you, I'm charging more.

Did you not get groceries yesterday?

Oh, yeah, I started to, but then I didn't.

It's just--I paint,

and, you know, I'm trying to get my name out there...

Word? Yeah, that art world can be cold.

[person 1] Damn, you're either cold, indecent,

or throwing a tantrum.

[person 2] Oh, you got the tantrum today!

[glass breaking]

[person 1] Stop it! No!

Not my grandma's Obama mug!

Ah, shit! Really?

The mug? Over Gina?

[person 2] Yes, over Gina!

[person 1] I told you I don't want

to hear the word "Gina" again!

[person 2] You just said Gina motherfucking Gina.

Gina! Gina!

[person 1] It's too early for this shit.

It really is.

[person 2] Don't you walk away from me!

[shouting]

[Latin music playing]

[person singing in Spanish]

[person 1] If I leave, I'm taking the cat.

[person 2] It's my cat!

[person 1] Why don't we let her decide, then, huh?

[person 2] Why would we let her decide?

[unintelligible arguing]

[clears throat]

[person 1] You never support my ideas!

[clears throat]

[person 1] You hate your mom!

[person 2] Don't tell me what I hate!

You sound like my mom when you do that.

Get back here.

[person 1] Don't point that shit at me, woman.

[person 2] You cheated on me.

[person 1] And I admitted that shit--

-Kevin! -[arguing continues]

Yo.

The fuck?

How can you sleep through that?

[Kevin] Sleep through what?

The new neighbors. They were yelling before.

What do you want me to do, man? Call the cops.

Kev, look, we got to reestablish some ground rules.

I'm out of toothpaste, toilet paper, trash bags.

Every time I buy food, it vanishes.

Can you just text me?

No, I can't just text--

I think this is better verbally.

Also, can you not spam text me overnight?

It freaks me out when I wake up to 18 unread messages.

[Kevin] I talk in short bursts.

[Dan] Kev, look, I'm happy that you're here.

This is you, happy?

Your shrink sucks.

I mean, look at this place. It's a disaster.

And I'm sorry, I've asked you

not to use my Street Fighter blanket.

All right, well, it's a blanket, and I was cold.

And it's not just the blanket.

You keep using the monogrammed napkins

I got from my cousin Dylan's wedding.

Monogrammed nap--what, you about to host a Oscar party?

They napkins, bro.

Dylan and I have the same initials.

When is he gonna have spare napkins again?

Lord knows. I--

I just need you to add value.

[Kevin] All right, damn. Your breath stinks.

You know what would solve that? Toothpaste.

What you want me to do, man?

Okay, if you want to help, I finally got an appointment

to get the Internet fixed today.

The guy's supposed to come any time from ten to one.

But from experience, that could be up to 16 hours.

All right, yeah, I'll be here.

But I got that art dealer dude, Terry,

coming by to come check out my work, so...

So you'll wait for the guy?

[Kevin] Yeah, I will. All right.

But just to be clear, I'm trying to get off this couch.

Kev, I don't want you to get off the couch.

I want you to do well today

and achieve your dreams and then get off the couch.

-But all the dream stuff first. -Mm-hmm.

[Dan] Okay, good, luck, man, I am rooting for you.

All right.

[unintelligible arguing]

All right.

What?

I'm sorry, I would like the blanket.

The--the Street Fighter blanket.

[door slams]

[person] Friendship is never having to say you sorry,

but you say that shit anyway.

So, Kevin, you got a buzzer,

but you still got to walk downstairs to let people in.

[laughs] This place is a real shithole.

Very edgy upbringing. I like it.

Upbringing?

Yeah, you're, what, 17?

Hey, yeah,

but a lot older.

-Yeah. -[Kevin] Um...

thank you for coming by.

-I appreciate it. -[Terry] Sure, man.

I mean, I love helping young artists break in.

You know what I mean? That's what I do.

You know, I found Titus Kaphar, you know?

-Dope. -You break an artist that big,

it kind of flies in the face of the whole

"trust fund party boy" image which I know I give off,

but, really, I'm much more than that.

I believe you.

Oh, my God. Is this you?

[Kevin] Yep.

[laughs] Ah, this is great.

See, you're versatile, too. This is great,

but in a different way from the sketch you did of Drew's niece.

[laughs] Wait, that's why you reached out?

-Drew showed you my shit? -Well, he didn't show it to me.

I saw him rolling up on it,

but you captured her beautifully.

I don't actually know what she looks like,

but the sketch was so good,

it made me feel like I knew, you know?

Yeah, that's real.

So you think I got a real shot at making it?

Absolutely.

I love this piece.

It's all about identity

and the simultaneous destruction and commodification

of African American Black bodies.

Exactly. You see it.

Yeah, I know a couple major gallery owners

-who would love your work. -Yeah?

Yeah.

'Cause I no idea how to connect

with the people who can help me.

-I just make the art. -[laughs]

That's where I come in, my man. I'm the connector.

[laughs] Hey.

Hey. [chuckles]

What's happening?

Nitrous.

I tried doing one in the Uber over here.

The driver was not having it.

I'm like, "Dude, it's just a transient gas

that they give you at the dentist,"

albeit without medical supervision.

I hate when people act like

all drugs aren't medicinal, you know?

[loud hissing]

Hit that. Hit that.

-[Kevin] What? -Hit that. Hit it.

Fuck is this?

Aw, aw.

Shit is good, right?

Yeah.

[Terry] I can get you meetings,

but you're gonna need a space to show--

someplace gritty.

[person 2] What the hell is this?

[person 1] A replacement for Gina.

[person 2] I don't want a new one--I want Gina!

[person 1] It's a fucking turtle!

-[person 2] But it's not Gina. -[person 1] Jesus Christ!

I'm going back to bed. I can't win with you, ever!

-[door slams] -Grittier than this?

I mean, like, cool gritty. This is more depressing gritty.

If I can get you a meeting with a curator,

can you get a space?

Maybe.

I haven't eaten in, like, three days.

[sighs] What do you got?

This is, like, a pre-intervention fridge.

Rock bottom's an empty pickle jar.

You're close.

Let's go to a café.

-Right now? -Yeah.

You got to help me describe your work so I can sell you.

I want to do a deep dive,

and I'd rather hear it in your words,

but I love your range.

Your work's clearly heavily inspired.

You know, we always try and put an artist in a box,

but it's the unpredictability

that keeps the viewer engaged, in my humble opinion.

[chuckles]

Anyway, come on, let's go eat.

Look, man, I got to wait on this Internet dude.

-[door slams] -[person 2] You can't avoid me.

Get your ass out here!

[person 1] Me avoid you? Your attachment style

is dismissive avoidant-- I read the book!

[person 2] It's not my fault. It's my trauma!

-[door slams] -Yeah.

I don't like all this yelling about turtles

and attachment styles.

I'm gonna go eat. You don't have to come.

I get it if you care more about the Internet guy

than your future.

Wait, hold on.

I'm gonna get somebody to cover.

-[line trilling] -[Kareem] You got Kareem.

Yo, bro, can you do me a favor?

-[loud thud] -Yo, man, can we wait outside?

This shit is freaking me out.

All right, hey, Kareem, man, can you come over to the crib?

[person 1] It's an experience!

[person 2] I swear to God,

every day you get dumber and dumber.

[person 1] Take that back! Take it back right now!

You're gaslighting me!

[person 2] You don't even know what that word means!

[person 1] Yes, I do!

You almost convinced me I didn't know!

Even that's a gaslight!

Domestic disputes before lunchtime?

And a turtle in the hallway.

This is a crazy-ass building.

[arguing continues]

Hmm.

Mm. Eh.

[person 1] You are the devil!

My friends don't even like you!

Goddamn struggle house.

[hip-hop music playing]

"Dear son, in case you ran out,

I got you more of my Ashwagandha

for your dick problem.

I know you said your problem wasn't dick-related,

but just in case you was lying...

Love, Mom and Dad.

P.S. Your building has a turtle infestation."

[stomach gurgles] [grunts]

What did I just eat?

Bad-milk-having motherfucker.

[grunts]

I can't believe them boys

ain't got a goddamn square of toilet paper!

[person 1] You didn't want him, so I put him in the hallway.

[person 2] He's gone now! I looked everywhere!

Nah.

Okay, D.J.

[doorbell buzzing]

Oh, damn! That's the Internet!

One minute! I'm gonna be right out!

-Don't go anywhere, Internet! -[buzzing continues]

warm music

Sorry I'm late. The Internet's out.

I'm on my dumb hotspot that's tougher to--

[Dr. Flowers] I don't care, be late.

This is your damn therapy session.

Cut in, cut out. It's your time.

Go to sleep if you want to, okay?

You know I don't care.

Kevin left and missed the technician.

Who's Kevin?

Oh, ah.

Couch dude.

[Dan] Uh, yeah, well, his name is actually--

And who's Jen?

[Dan] Jess.

Oh, yeah, I have her down here as "boss bitch."

Can you write down her real name, 'cause it's Jess--

No, Dan, I already wrote down "boss bitch."

Come on, don't make me waste ink.

Okay, okay. Boss bitch.

All right, so what-- She Black?

-Latina. -Mmm.

You know my husband's Puerto Rican.

That's cool. Yeah, a lot of people are.

Anyway, we had one night where we started to hook up,

but then I fell asleep, and then a couple days later,

she said she wants to keep it professional.

But I don't know,

I think she might still like me.

Nah, you blew it. All right?

And at this point, you're just wasting time.

You're wasting her time, wasting your time,

and you wasting my time.

I didn't even want to get into Jess.

I meant to talk about couch dude.

-There's tension. -So kick his ass out!

No, I don't want to do that.

Yeah, 'cause you can't be alone.

Kevin is different.

We've been close since we were kids,

he wanted to move to New York to pursue his art,

-and I wanted to help. -Ah.

There go Dan "can't be alone, white superhero,

Captain Save a Nigga."

That's not my nickname. I--

I'm just being nice to an old friend.

Mm-hmm, well, I'm gonna make a note for you to consider,

like, why you are exclusively

around Black people.

Now, the first word that comes to mind is "fetishizer,"

and the second word is "colonizer."

I mean, that's not, like, a choice.

Or it's not thing I'm seeking.

I don't--I don't know. It just happened.

Oh, yeah? Dan, are you crazy?

Let's count them down, all right?

You got Kenny the couch nigga,

you got your step-daddy, you got this little girl

you keep giving A's to for whatever reason,

you got the drug dealer.

You work at an almost all-Black school.

Then there's me. Now, I know why you need me.

But the rest of these niggas, Dan, they got to go.

Now that you point it out,

it me a pattern from when I was younger.

Uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, shit, hey.

Consider this shit on your own time.

The last thing I want to do

is sit here listening to your ass brainstorm.

Go figure it out and then come back.

-Okay, understood. -And you know what?

I'm shocked that the boss bitch you ain't fucking

ain't Black.

I mean, she is brown, for the record.

-Could we just discuss Kevin? -Sure.

Let's talk about why you said yes

when he asked to stay with you.

I-I asked him to stay.

What?

You invited him?

Yeah, it's not in his nature to ask for help.

Uh, no, but it is in your corny-ass nature

to invite somebody to stay with you

and then resent them for being there.

Why is that, Dan? Examine.

I--we-we have a connection

since, like, 8th grade, you know?

Like, when he was over at my house,

it was just-- he wasn't my protector exactly,

but shit was just less ugly with him around.

And now it's ugly with him around.

Not ugly, exactly.

I'm just feeling like...

I'm just feeling like he's not appreciating me

or anything I might need.

Like, it sounds little, but all this shit adds up.

Like, we're out of everything.

Oh, so you like having people around that you can control,

huh, Dictator Dan?

No, that's-- All these nicknames.

I'm neither a superhero nor a dictator.

I'm just guy who's trying to figure--

No, you're a guy who likes to fight losing battles

and then resent it when it's not perfect.

And it never is!

Life never is!

That's actually really insightful.

You got a lot of nerve to act like

you surprised at my expertise.

You know what? This what you need.

You need a white therapist.

Mm-hmm, no, you need somebody to give you that bullshit,

that--that, "Oh, my God, Dan, how you doing?

How are your parents?" All that shit bores me, okay?

And if you want to pay more to get coddled...

[scoffs] ...be my guest.

I don't want to be coddled, and I don't want to pay more.

-Okay, so real talk. -Okay.

All right?

You are in a endless cycle

of, like, false superiority

and self-loathing, all right?

Stand up for yourself and kick the motherfucker out.

Just see what it feels like to have balls for once, Dan!

Ball--

-[door opens] -Dr. Flowers?

Yerr!

Hey, yo, there's a turtle in the stairwell, you seen it?

[person 2] Goddamn rush to fight!

You are a lunatic!

[person 1] We can't keep putting off ICE

until the next day!

She got a point.

[person 2] Oh, God! Tomorrow, please!

Let's just discuss this tomorrow.

[person 1] But I'm still mad at you for other things.

Bro, I miss Lester.

Yo, Kev, can you help me understand

this note I found when I got home?

"Sorry we missed you."

Dude, I asked for your help,

and now, look, therapy's frozen.

I mean, I left, but I called Kareem over.

I don't know what happened.

Oh, big shock, Kareem fucked up.

He never even set up Internet at my mom's place.

She says he's an AM radio guy.

Dude, I waited on hold for hours for that appointment.

I need this for work.

I'm sorry, Dan. Shit.

What you want me to do? Fuck.

I'm sorry-- I was seizing an opportunity,

that thing that you encouraged me to do,

and instead of asking me how it went,

you yelling about Internet.

Okay, yeah. I'm sorry.

How'd it go?

I don't know. I think it went well.

Terry said he might link me with this curator, but...

I couldn't really tell what he was saying sometimes.

I think it was the nitrous. He was high as shit.

Why were you doing nitrous in a business--

What?

Bruh, you pop a Xanny to wake up in the morning.

Don't judge.

And I wasn't doing it. It was Terry.

I'm not mad at this.

I like a break.

One sec, Dr. Flowers. I'd like some privacy.

Stop giving him so much Xanax.

-[door closes] -[Dan] Did you see that?

He's totally unappreciative of me, my needs,

and I totally support Kevin, and he doesn't care at all.

[Kevin] That's not true.

[Dr. Flowers] Uh, Kenny, bring your Black ass in here.

-[door opens] -We don't--

We don't need Kevin to-- we don't need Kevin to come in.

Really?

Yeah, really!

You can't complain about the nigga,

let him defend himself.

Okay, he says I don't care about him,

but that's not true.

He act like I don't buy healthy food for him,

-That's--bread isn't healthy. -In small amounts it is.

He act like I don't get drugs for him.

He act like I don't support his sad-ass coaching dream.

I do a lot. In my opinion, I do a lot.

I just feel like I deserve more.

I just want some basic respect and consideration.

Bro, I show it in real ways.

Dan on some bullshit about toothpaste and trash bags.

You chose the wrong white friend.

But don't worry about it, okay?

I can fix this in five minutes,

if Dan would kindly get his head from up his ass.

-Right. -Now listen up--

[Dan] Dr. Flowers?

Hey, yo, can you hear us?

No, she can't. It's frozen.

-[sighs] -How you know?

That's just how technology works.

-Control, alt, delete. -No, what are you doing?

Look, we don't even need her to fix this shit.

It's so minor, we could do it ourselves.

Fine. I feel like you don't appreciate

any of the shit I've done for you.

Okay, and I feel like you wanting credit

every five seconds make me feel like you keeping score.

Bro, I've been there for you since we was kids.

What, like I owe you?

Like, you saved my life a million years ago,

and now I'm indebted to you forever?

I'm not saying you indebted to me,

but you could be showing some appreciation.

You're showing me zero, dude,

and you're staying here for nothing.

I didn't ask you to sleep on your couch.

You the one that said, "Follow your dreams."

You the one that said, "Come sleep on my couch."

You the one that said that I could stay as long as I needed.

-Okay. -You said that.

I said that, and I believed that,

but then you could at least try to make my life easier,

but the shit you're doing makes my life more difficult.

Bro, you're biggest problem is the Internet.

I'm trying to figure out my whole life.

Yeah, so am I,

and it's tough to do when I'm worried about bullshit.

And to be honest, I'm worried about bigger shit, too.

Like that Drew tornado

that's just been unleashed on our lives.

I lied to Jess, I've given Zayna A's,

I've risked my job, I'm scared of this guy,

and I'm at the game, and I look up in the stands

and see you sitting with him like you're best friends.

Bro, Drew is not that bad.

He is that bad. He's a dangerous drug dealer.

And every time we can get away from him,

you seem to do something to bring us closer.

I'm telling you, dude,

if you hang around bad people long enough,

bad shit is gonna happen.

Bad shit happen around good people, too.

You're not making sense.

He almost killed you. Do you remember that?

I remember. The fuck--

So can you give me

one redeemable quality about this guy?

One.

He linked me with Terry.

What?

Yeah, Drew liked my art, and he linked me with Terry.

I'm not saying he a saint, but he not all bad.

You took help from Drew?

You never ask for my help.

'Cause I'm living on your couch already

and you keep score.

If I ask for your help, you gonna be like,

"I did this for you, I did that for you.

And I--" Like, that's what you do.

[Dr. Flowers belches]

What'd I miss? I bet nothing.

You actually did miss something.

It turns out Kevin met this art dealer

through the drug dealer who's been menacing both of us.

-So what? -Exactly.

[person 2] Every time I try to make you happy, it backfires!

Forget it, I'm done with this shit,

I'm gonna tell them the truth at the hearing.

Who the hell is that?

-[Dan] It's our neighbors. -What hearing?

[Dan] I don't know.

Can we get that fix to our problem that you mentioned?

Shh, shh, shh. Shut up, Dan.

I'm hearing some good shit here.

[person 1] You do that,

and I'll tell them I paid you to marry me!

[Dr. Flowers] Ooh. Ooh!

Thank you, Jesus!

Finally, some better shit than yours.

This sound like a green card case is a-brewing over there.

That's some heavy shit now.

[person 2] Motherfucker, you still owe me eight grand!

You think I don't know what you doing.

You trying to make me love you

so you don't got to pay me the rest!

[person 1] I'd rather get deported

than do this shit one more second.

[person 2] And jail would be a step up for me.

Take me over there, Dan.

I don't think we should get involved, Dr. Flowers.

[Dr. Flowers] I'm getting involved.

This is some serious shit. It's heavy now.

You come, too, Kenny.

Wait, why-why do you want Kenny to come?

'Cause you're my golden goose, Dan.

Kenny, bring your ass to protect him.

He gonna need a Black body over there

to absorb the impact.

Yo, clown!

I can't knock on the door my-- Can you knock?

[knock at door]

Jeez, I got to tell this nigga everything.

-What? -Hi, my name is Dan--

Yeah, I know you. You live next door.

You're a teacher and wannabe coach.

-I actually did coach a game. -And you.

You watch porn loud during the day.

True.

Well, it's great to meet in person.

Uh, my therapist would like a word with you.

Yo, sis, go get your man,

I want to help y'all out.

Help me out? Okay, sis.

Um, hey!

Come here for a second.

Neighbor's got his shrink on the laptop.

Yeah, I got a deep voice.

What?

Uh...

This is Dr. Flowers. She has a degree.

All right, Dan, shut the fuck up.

I'm sorry, excuse me, y'all. He don't really know me.

But I'm here to help y'all, okay?

Now, I need the four of y'all to listen up.

Now, it's very simple what y'all got going on.

It's very similar, too. It's a classic power struggle.

This is when one tries to make the other one happy,

but then it doesn't work out, and you resent it

because it didn't go the way you expected it.

Now, you see these two?

These two are fucking morons, all right?

They ain't got no stakes.

They problems are simple and dumb,

just like them.

But you two, your shit is major.

Yeah, you got some green card shit on the line.

This is real-life shit.

I need y'all to let me in so I can help y'all,

you understand?

At least let me help y'all make it through this hearing.

She right.

Yeah, I know I'm right.

Look, sister, we got to talk some, like,

real sensitive legal shit, you know what I'm saying?

And I don't want these herbs overhearing,

so why don't we go somewhere

where we can talk in private, all right?

Come on, Dan, put me over there to her.

Come on, Dan. Dan!

[cat screeches]

-Jolene, back! -[door slams]

Jolene.

The cat name is they password.

-Oh, shit. -Yeah, we in.

That's fucking great.

All you need is your laptop back.

That's great. Oh, man, thank you.

Yep. It's a value add. Count it.

-I count it. -[cell phone buzzes]

Oh, Terry came through, man. It's happening.

Yo, that's great. Congrats.

-Thank you, bro. -Yeah.

[clicks tongue] Yeah, I still don't have a spot, though.

Just ask your friend, Drew.

Bro, come on, man, you want me to get off your couch, right?

Wait, is this you asking for help?

-Yeah. -You know what?

There's this multipurpose room at school.

It's been closed to students since last year,

since they caught kids drinking in there.

Now it's just a room where teachers drink sometimes.

I could sneak you in.

You'd do that?

Yeah, for sure.

-I appreciate you, man. -Yeah.

I'm gonna go take a shit.

You bought toilet paper, right?

No.

"Dick problem." What the fuck, Kareem?

[cell phone buzzing]

Jesus Christ.

-Yo, Danny. -Yeah?

-Yo, I fixed them. -That's great.

Mm-hmm, it only took me five minutes

to solve they damn problem.

You're the only nut I can't crack.

I think we're making good progress.

[scoffs] No, we're not.

Oh.

Matter of fact, we going in reverse,

but I'm making money, so I'm gonna keep you on.

Okay.

Listen, I got them as a client, both of them.

-So don't worry about it. -Okay, cool.

And I'm only gonna charge you double

'cause you brought Kenny with you.

And you can go ahead and Venmo me the money.

-I need it right now. -You brought Kenny in.

Why do I have to pay for two sessions?

I-I brought Kenny in?

You talk about this nigga night and day.

I brought him in?

-You know what? -Okay, okay.

Don't fucking talk about him no more, then, okay?

You not gonna do this to me, all right?

I'm not gonna be your whipping post, all right?

I'll call that drug dealer nigga

and have him do something to you.

Don't do--

I know all the Black people in the world.

You'll have a Million Man March all over your ass.

Don't do that. Okay, sorry.

-Yeah?

You think this is a scarf? It's not.

It's a fucking noose, 'cause I'm gonna kill myself

if you don't get your shit together.

Sorry, okay. I got it.

And what you may want to do is,

you may want to get your ass up

and go the fuck over there and get your laptop, nigga,

'cause I swear they about to pawn it.

Okay. Thank you, Dr. Flowers.

-Sorry. -Nigga, just go!

What the fuck? You'll see me again.

You think it's my funeral? Shit, longest goodbye ever--

Okay, see you next week, Dr. Flowers.

[person 1] Oh, fuck me, you Dominican goddess!

I'll just get it later.

[toilet flushing]

Bruh, your napkins don't say D.J. anymore.

I don't know who did it. It wasn't me.

I'm gonna just let you know, so don't start blaming.

Okay, so the gallery owner, he can sneak through this door

I'm gonna leave propped open, all right?

The multipurpose room is on the third floor.

It's open until noon, okay?

All right. Are you sure it's all right?

Yeah, of course. You're using it for a purpose.

That's literally what the multipurpose room is for.

Just have your meeting, then sneak out.

-All right, thanks, dude. -Of course. Good luck, man.

[school bell rings]

[Dan] You guys psyched to learn?

Let's get to it.

Okay, now, this is a Bunsen burner,

named after Nathaniel Bunsen,

who became the first man

to die from a Bunsen Burner.

[person] Emergency, the school is on lockdown.

-Code white. -Okay, everyone.

In a calm and orderly fashion, let's all line up.

[indistinct chatter]

[person] Do not move until further notice.

Of course, never mind. Let's sit down.

It's all okay.

Don't pray for me, just press play for me

Don't cry for me, just put one in the sky for me

Honestly, if you lie, you die to me

Don't pray for me, just press play for me

Don't cry for me, just put one in the sky for me

Honestly, if you lie, you die to me

My problems is real, m-m-my problems is real

I tried to run from my problems

Until I bloodied my heels

My problems is real, m-m-my problems is real

I tried to run from my problems

Until I bloodied my heels

I swallow my courage, and then I swallow my fears

And then I swallow every ounce left

In the bottle that's near

I'm deep in my feels, my right hand on the wheel

I know they say drugs kill, but so do cops, who cares?

This shit straight ill

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