All language subtitles for Dave s02e05 Bar Mitzvah.eng

af Afrikaans
ak Akan
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bem Bemba
bn Bengali
bh Bihari
bs Bosnian
br Breton
bg Bulgarian
km Cambodian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
chr Cherokee
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
en English Download
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
ee Ewe
fo Faroese
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gaa Ga
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gn Guarani
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian Download
ia Interlingua
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
rw Kinyarwanda
rn Kirundi
kg Kongo
ko Korean
kri Krio (Sierra Leone)
ku Kurdish
ckb Kurdish (Soranî)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Laothian
la Latin
lv Latvian
ln Lingala
lt Lithuanian
loz Lozi
lg Luganda
ach Luo
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mfe Mauritian Creole
mo Moldavian
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
sr-ME Montenegrin
ne Nepali
pcm Nigerian Pidgin
nso Northern Sotho
no Norwegian
nn Norwegian (Nynorsk)
oc Occitan
or Oriya
om Oromo
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt-BR Portuguese (Brazil)
pt Portuguese (Portugal)
pa Punjabi
qu Quechua
ro Romanian
rm Romansh
nyn Runyakitara
ru Russian Download
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
sh Serbo-Croatian
st Sesotho
tn Setswana
crs Seychellois Creole
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhalese
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
es-419 Spanish (Latin American)
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
tt Tatar
te Telugu
th Thai
ti Tigrinya
to Tonga
lua Tshiluba
tum Tumbuka
tr Turkish
tk Turkmen
tw Twi
ug Uighur
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
wo Wolof
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu

Original subtitles

Do you love what you do?

[GUN FIRES][screams in pain]

MAN: Gotta ask yourself, "Why am I doing it?"

Cut the crap, princess.

Fine.Fine.

[DOOR CLOSES][SIGHS]

♪ Shorty wanna check, check, check, check♪

-♪ 'Cause I got my checkup♪ -♪ Shorty wanna check, check, check, check♪

-♪ 'Cause I got my checkup♪ -♪ Shorty wanna check, check, check, check♪

-♪ 'Cause I got my checkup♪ -♪ Shorty wanna check♪

♪ Check, check, check♪

♪ Man, you need to check up♪

♪ Real paper in my Paper Denims♪

♪ Real nigga gonna pay for dinner♪

♪ Oh, I'm braggin', I'm sorry♪

♪ What I love, calamari♪

-♪ The good life ain't new to me♪ -♪ Nope♪

♪ Tell me what you're gonna do for me♪

♪ I'm with two hos, that's two for three...♪

-[phone chimes] -Man, I just wanted you

to hear my new track before you dipped, that's all.

Oh, man, that shit was hard. Honestly, I'm just waiting

for the Gata/Lil Dicky collab.

Hmm.

Man...

Oh, yeah, that's for sure.

You're leaving right now?

Yes. I left you a bunch of shit

on your computer, bro-- what do you need from me?

I don't needanything. It'd be nice to chill

with my friend every once in a while, but...

I have no more chill. Also, I'm working with Travis today,

so when he moves, I move, brother.

-Man. Okay, big dawg. -It be like that.

-Love. -MIKE: Okay, I got all the details.

No, no, that's... Yeah, no, that's fine.

We have the address. It's all locked in.

We will see you tonight. Bye-bye.

Um, I'm about to send all you guys the itinerary

for the bar mitzvah tonight. Gata, you don't need

to be there. Elz, you do need to be there.

-GATA: Whoo! -This guy's paying us three times Dave's normal rate,

so we just got to do what he wants, you know?

It's disgusting what this schmuck is doing.

When I was 13, my dad put our dog down.

-DAVE: What? -Same day.

-Oh, man. -DAVE: That's so sad.

I love bar mitzvahs. I can't wait.

I haven't been to one in so long.

Me and Elz have been to tens of hundreds of them,

and we used to, honestly, get kicked out

for various misbehaving, uh...

We called in a bomb threat one time. Post-911.

-Okay. -How many do you think

-we've been kicked out of? -A lot.

-All right, hotshot, I get it. -Don't call in a bomb tonight, all right?

-I won't. -Goodbye.

-Peace. -Man, that's the hardest working man

in showbiz right there.

-Him? Elz? -Yeah.

Come on, don't fall for that fuckin' shit.

I work ten times harder than him-- he just met

the right people at the...

Wow.

You know, I never just, like, think to look up at the sky

and, like, the mountains, and, like, appreciate

-all of the... -Can I borrow some money?

This bar mitzvah ain't gonna get me by, dawg,

and moms is struggling.

I need a few dollars, bro, like an advance or something.

We ain't got no shows. You on album mode.

Like, I don't know what to do, dawg.

Yeah. Okay.

How much money?

A little'll go a long way, to be honest.

All right, yeah, no problem.

I'm thinking...

Actually, can we talk about this when I'm not high?

-Yeah. Enjoy the weed, bro. -Cool.

I am Queens Boulevard!

[laughs]

Do you get that?

Nah. It sounds like a corny Broadway, though.

A corny Broadway?

It's a... [stammers] Do Black people watch Entourage?

-I don't watch that shit. -♪ Hi, I'm Dave♪

♪ I'm Lil Dicky♪

-♪ Hi, I'm Dave♪ -♪ Who's Dave?♪

DAVE: Boys will be boys.

And that time in my life was truly the best.

I used to sit on the spigot-- you know, like, outside

where you fill water balloons up?

I'd sit on it and let the water gush all the way up my body,

while everyone else crowded around to see if I got hard.

-Why? -Don't ask me.

I was just a mindless extension of my boner back then.

We did the craziest shit. There was one occasion

where I actually licked a hamster's pussy.

-What?! -Ew! What the fuck?

I was dared. I'm not gonna turn down a dare.

You had to. This is what you did.

You had to do it. Elz dared me.

I think this is a Jewish camp thing.

No, I have plenty of kids in my class who went to Jewish camp

who managed to not lick any part of a hamster, anywhere.

-Oh, please. -[farts]

You think they're going up to you and being like, "Oh,

"Mrs. Wernick, you should know

I just sniffed piss out of a dirt pit"?

-ALLY: Ugh. -You guys never experimented at all

-when you were kids? -I-I had a problem with...

thinking that, like, pretty much all inanimate objects

had feelings.

So I was, like, devastated when I threw away

-napkins and tissues and stuff. -DAVE: Very cute,

but I'm really not interested in the bush-league stuff.

I'm talking about the real nitty-gritty.

-I used to Rollerblade caterpillars in half. -[phone chimes]

-All right. -Yeah.

-Kind of satanic. -[Ally giggles]

A little bit.

What's so funny, Hoot?

Uh, don't call me Hoot, Dave.

Boundaries.

I'm not hitting on you, hotshot, okay?

You're an owl at the end of the day,

-and you'll always be an owl. -I never crave Indian food,

but when I do it, I love it.

That's pretty much exactly how I feel about reading.

[laughs]

Is this the goal?

Write any good songs lately?

I don't want to talk about it.

Oh, before I forget, Elz' manager reached out.

Are you aware that he wants credit on every song

-on the album he produces? -I wasn't even aware

he had a manager, but, you know, if he made the beat,

give him credit-- what do I care?

No, but, like, as an artist.

He wants it: "Lil Dicky featuring Elz."

What?

Yeah, I thought it was weird, too,

-but then I just assumed you guys had already discussed it. -No, we have not.

Every song featuring Elz? I don't understand.

He's not even an artist. He makes beats.

-What about DJ Khaled or, like, even Benny? -Yeah, but it's fuckin' Elz.

He's gonna do it manager-to-manager,

like a fucking pussy?

What is with him right now?

I don't know if it's a pussy move, Dave.

-Oh, my God... -People use managers... -MOSKOWITZ: There they are.

Big men on campus coming through!

-Hi. -Little Dicky.

-Yeah. Call me Dave. -You must be Mike?

-Of course, yeah. Good to see you. -How was the drive?

You find the place okay?

-We just... Google Maps. -I zoned out.

-Uh-huh. -Fabulous home.

Thank you.

-Thank you. -Where do we, uh...?

-Oh. Follow me. -Great.

MOSKOWITZ: Look who's here.

-Huh? Look who's here. -Hi.

-Oh. -Hey, man.

-You okay? Is he...? -He's very shy.

-Yeah. -He's got awful stage fright.

-Aw. -But honestly,

knowing that LD was gonna be here,

that's helping him get through this whole thing.

So I-I... I don't know how I can thank you enough

for being here, guys.

-Yeah. Yeah. -Uh, everything working right?

No, man. This, like, eighth inch is too short,

and the speakers are way in my fuckin' ear,

and it's like, dude, how am I supposed to listen to anything

if it's just yelling at me the whole time, you know?

I am so sorry. Shoot.

Um, look, uh, I can get a longer one here by tomorrow.

Just let me know what type of cord you need.

It's really not worth it. Honestly, like, fuck it.

Uh, is there a way that I can move this keyboard, though?

'Cause it's all in my way, and I just need to...

-I need some space to... -Hmm. Uh, let me think about that.

You know, that-that's gonna be a little harder.

Honestly, please don't trouble yourself.

-We can be very flexible. -It's so light, I can move it

if your arms don't work or something.

MOSKOWITZ: No, it's not about the weight.

Uh, our keyboardist is actually blind.

He's an old friend of the family, and...

he's already memorized the space.

-I could give him a ring. I'll give him a ring. -No. No. No.

He's got the lay of the land.

-We had a blind dog when I was a kid. -Yeah.

My dad, piece of shit, he used to rearrange the furniture

-so he'd bump into it to fuck with it. -So the... Yeah.

Yeah. So I know what you're going through.

I got it. Hey, you want to not be an asshole

to the guy who's paying us for the event? That'd be great.

Hey, you want to be not an asshole

and leave me the fuck alone?

Mm. How about we just sound-check, how about that?

How about I walk away and you do this by yourself,

-since you're so independent? -I don't know how to work the equipment...

Well, figure it out.

-Cool. -You're so smart, right?

Yeah, I'll figure it out, no problem.

It's an easy job, right? It's not that hard to deejay.

[amplified]: Ooh, ooh, ooh, yeah! Check, check.

My deejay sucks.

Uh, deep-seated insecurity.

Masked as overconfidence.

[loudly]: I'm saying that sometimes I get this white foam around my mouth.

-Let me know if you see that. -Oh, I will.

-I don't have it now, do I? -DAVE: ...battling insecurity...

-No. No. -No.

♪ I'm Elz, I'm so cool, look at who I know♪

♪ Look at where I go, look at my coat, look above my nose♪

♪ I got a pipe cleaner mustache and I'm too big♪

♪ For my britch, but I deejay bar mitz...♪

-Walk with me. -Great!

Elz, does it sound okay, or no?

Can-can you please just answer me and tell me

if it sounds good?

[music stops]

[muttering]

[quietly]: Big swinging dick, huh?

Let's play.

Dude, I'm just trying to chill.

I thought you had no chill these days.

Right? Did you say that?

Damn, man.

And one.

-Fuckin' bum. -Good take. Let's go. That's one.

MIKE: Nice room.

-Beautiful. -MOSKOWITZ: Thanks.

Yeah.

Big day tomorrow.

Words can't even describe it, Mike.

We are so proud of him, the man he's becoming.

It's...

it's really special.

I bet.

You got kids of your own?

Na... I do.

Yes, I do.

I have a six-year-old boy...

-Darren. -Six.

[chuckles]: That's the best age, isn't it?

Yeah.

I thought three was great.

Six is aw... six is better.

We, uh...

had an autism scare...

there for a second, yeah.

Biting his teeth. He would bite his bottom teeth.

-But, um, we're all good. -Oh, let me tell you,

the scares never end.

I mean, not the autism thing specifically, but...

Hell, you know what I mean.

You're, uh, you're a special guy.

Aw, Mike, so are you. Thanks.

-Aw. -[chuckles]

I love ya.

Uh...

[chuckles]

[both laughing]

Figure it out! You gotta figure it out!

-[Dave grunting] -Can't do nothin'.

ELZ: [grunts] Oh, he's a fuckin' bitch!

DAVE: Six-seven, six-seven.

ELZ: What's that body like?

What's that body like?

Play the game. Stop fuckin' talking.

-Hands off. -I'm not even touching you.

[yells] Are you tired?

-[raspy panting] -Didn't we teach you anything?

DAVE: This is, like, a foul. Like, you can't...

ELZ: I'm not worried about that too much.

DAVE: Should be worried about it.

That's why I've been running to the left, nigga!

Now whatcha gonna do?

Now what? Now what? Now what?

-Look. -Off you. Check.

[sighs]

Off you.

What a fuckin' bitch-ass call, man.

I didn't make the rules up.

Foul.

What? You didn't foul me?

-That's a terrible call. -You don't think you fouled me?

-No, I think you're... -You slapped the shit out of my arm.

-I barely touched you. -You slapped the fuck out of my arm.

-It sounds like a bitch. -Take it. I don't care. I don't need it.

Take it, take it. Go, go, I don't need it.

-Incredibly immature. I gotta go. -Oh, yeah, okay.

You told me, you told me. I heard it.

-Yeah. Yeah. -I heard it, I heard it, I heard it.

-You want to tell me again? -You've never been mature.

-You want to tell me again? -Yeah, you've never been mature.

-No reach. No reach. -All flash. No substance.

No reach. No reach. Bum ass.

You got to make that.

[grunting]

Goddamn, you got to give me some fuckin' credit!

Whoo!

-Shit! [laughs] -Get your manager to ask for it.

How about that?

How about it? Have him... have him call my manager.

Maybe you'll get the credit then.

-Maybe I fuckin' will. -Yeah. Maybe not.

[chuckles]: Maybe not. Probably not.

-Okay. -My closest childhood friend, doing me dirty.

-You're a fuckin' producer. -Produce a game point.

[grunting]

Get off me, nigga.

Foul. I'm foul...

-ELZ: Fuck! -Foul. I called it.

-Easy! -I called foul.

-Game! -I called foul.

-Game! Doesn't matter. -I called foul!

-I called it! I was intentionally fouling. -That's called a game.

What do you mean, you called it? You called my foul?

-Yeah. -How does that work?

You're a shitty basketball player!

You're a shittier artist!

You're a fuckin' bum!

You don't even have a fuckin' album anyway!

[insects chirping]

Good game.

Oh... why don't you stay?

-I can't. I got to wake up early. -Okay, fine.

I got to do this, like, Jewish mar vista thing tomorrow.

A bar mitzvah?

I think it's like a quinceañera for the Jews.

But you know I ain't really into all that religious shit

-like that, but... -Come on.

I'm into you. [kisses]

-Then stay. -I can't, man. I gotta wiggle.

-Okay. -All right, shorty.

-Be safe. -All right.

You got to be kidding me.

Where the fuck my car go?

Fuck.

Paloma?

Man, what is her last name?

Damn.

Fuck.

Fuck, dawg.

This shit is crazy, dude.

Yo.

Hey, y'all sell iPhone chargers?

Huh?

iPhone chargers. Do y'all sell iPhone chargers?

Right there in the back.

Nah, the other one.

The white one.

Yeah.

Ten dollar.

[Gata sighs]

Hey, you think you could charge it up for me, though?

No.

For real?

No.

Man... [scoffs]

Hey, what's up, O.G.?

You mind if I get back there and see if there's an outlet?

I got a couple dollars for you, man.

I ain't trying to make you uncomfortable.

I just need to charge my phone.

No!

No touch!

-Are you serious? -No!

I'm just trying to charge my phone, bro.

-Go away, man! -[scoffs]

Hey, sir, my phone's dead, man.

-You mind if I use your car charger? -Sorry.

[car alarm chirps]

[sighs heavily]

[insects chirping]

[dogs barking in distance]

Why the fuck this shit got to happen to me?

[sighs]

[knocking]

GATA: Hey.

Can I use a wall outlet to charge my phone?

-We're not open. -Man, I need some help. It's late out here.

Sorry, man.

Man, come... [scoffs]

♪

[sighs]

[insects chirping]

[vehicle approaching]

[muttering]

[whispers]: Oh, fuck.

[phone chimes]

[exhales]

[phone keys clicking]

[line ringing]

[quietly]: Hello?

Hey, my name is Davionte Ganter.

My car just got towed.

It's a gold 2004 Chevy Impala.

Okay. 3241 Mill Street.

All right. Thank you.

3241 Mill Street. 3241 Mill Street.

-Thank you. -Mm-hmm.

[closes door]

[groans] Fuck, man.

Yo!

[takes deep breath]

[mutters]

[scoffs]

♪

[sighs heavily]

♪

How long do I have to do this shit?

Contractually, you got to talk to him for 20 minutes.

-I'll give him 25, 'cause I like this. -Attaboy.

I might as well just get it over with, then.

-All right, well... -What is that? What was that?

-What? -Be the bigger man.

No. He's-he's wrong, and I'm not... No way.

All right, guys, uh,

you mind if I join this group of Jewish boys?

Or I suppose there's multiracial things happening.

But can I hang out with you?

-BOYS: Yeah. -Um...

which one of you guys has the biggest cock?

[laughter]

All right, let's go, let's hang out.

♪

MIKE: My boy Darren is such an athlete.

I've broken up four or five fights on the T-ball field,

'cause he just gets so into it.

-Really? -He-he charges the mound almost every game.

-In T-ball? -A hundred percent.

-Wow. -And is he running through first?

I always tell him, "Run through, turn right.

You turn left, you're live."

-Uh-huh. -So he's gotten in a couple of scraps, and...

and that's something that I need to work on, to be honest.

You know, it's got to be a love in there.

It can't just be all aggro.

You got to love the kid.

You know?

-Lechayim. Yeah. -Lechayim.

Look at me. My life on paper couldn't be better.

I'm actually a rapper.

I go around the country and I get sucked.

And still-- even still-- my life pales in comparison

to the lives you're living right now.

It's so much more fun to be a kid than any other time in life.

Have you met Lil Nas X?

No.

Uh, you ever pass each other out?

What's that?

That's where you put your hands on the one person's neck

until you lose oxygen, you black out and faint.

No? I used to do it with my deejay all the time.

It was amazing.

-Elz, right? -Yeah.

I know your whole crew. You guys are savages.

Thank you. Yeah, we, uh, we grew up together.

We would always, honestly, compete

over who could do the craziest shit.

Speaking of shit, have you ever shit on each other's shit?

Laxatives. Eat the laxatives. Come in.

Gut full of laxatives. Shit.

Next guy comes in ready to pop. Polaroid camera. Picture.

Post it all over the lockers at school.

We'd get canceled if we did that.

Oh, my God, are you kidding?

-You guys worry about cancel culture? -You have to.

You have the perfect alibi.

You're young. You don't know any better.

Your brains aren't even fully formed.

Like, the grooves in your skull aren't even, like, creased.

-Huh. -MOSKOWITZ: Tell me,

-what's your, uh, wife do? -Mm.

Other than break my wallet?

-[laughs] -I know that feeling.

-I know you do. I saw. This is unbelievable. -[laughing]

-This is remarkable, this home. -Yeah.

Uh, she's a bleeding-heart liberal, to the max.

We are. I'm as far left as it goes.

I'm so far left I might come back around.

-Uh-huh. -Uh, she, uh,

the company is called Climace.

-Climace. -Have you never heard of it?

-No. -They...

What they do is, they combat climate change

and racism at the same time, simultaneously.

-Really? -It's such a great organization,

but the name is bad, you know.

We're big BLM'ers.

Are you into... are you BLM?

-Well, of course. Yeah. -Of cour... Yes.

The whole time, I thought there would only be

the small, faint amount, and then you're done.

'Cause there's nothing else there.

I couldn't imagine that you'd do another one, and there'd be...

I-I was mind-blown. I thought, I didn't realize

you're supposed to wipe until there's literally nothing there.

'Cause I thought, if it's that faint,

there can't possibly be more.

I mean, back when I was your age, the first time

I ever jerked off, I used my own thoughts.

I mean, if I tried to do that now,

the women would turn to sand and blow away in the wind.

-Why? -'Cause we're overly stimulated now.

Isn't it crazy that "boner" is the best option we have

to, like, refer to a hard penis?

"Hard-on"? Like, anyone is... you're white trash

if you say "hard-on."

You know? And I mean no disrespect

to any of you guys who might be white trash.

No, he told me on his own.

Mm.

No, it was really just a test to see how he'd react.

I don't even need the credit.

I don't know if it's worth it anymore.

DAVE: If it makes you feel any better,

I feel the exact same way now as I did when I was your age.

Like, mentally, in terms of, like,

the voices narrating my thoughts--

it's a 13-year-old boy's voice, still.

My Torah passage makes it such a big deal,

you know, becoming a man.

Ugh. Come on, Torah-schmorah.

You really believe that horseshit?

God made a man out of a woman's rib?

What is it, a five-inch man?

You know, all that you really need to realize,

Jakey, is you're getting older,

and so perhaps start thinking about being more mature

here and there and more responsible.

-That's all it is. -But you just said

you're the same way you've always been.

Yeah, but...

...you don't want to be like me, okay?

-Yeah, we do. -OTHERS: Yeah.

No, you don't.

♪

[muttering]

Yo.

-Mm-mm. -Can we just... can we go talk for a second?

For what?

-I'm being serious. -About what?

-Just come on. I'm just... -You're being so dramatic, though.

Just come on. It's not that big of a deal.

The longer we let this bubble up,

the more it's gonna suck, so let's just...

"Bubble up"? Why you acting like such a bitch, bro?

Why is it such a dick-swinging contest?

A dick-swinging contest? Dude, nothing is dick-swinging.

-Just grow the fuck up and stop acting like a bitch. -Me grow up?

-You... How...? -You grow up.

I've never even...

Bro.

[sighs] I don't know.

-Dude. -I don't... I'm trying to...

I'm trying to find the words, too, but...

I'm trying to think about what it was that they were...

I can't even...

I mean, should we say anything to these people,

or is this, like, textbook boyhood experimentation, right?

-Like... -Not my job, bro.

I just think about the stuff we used to do,

-like, with the marker and, like, the... -Okay, enough.

-But that doesn't matter to me, because... -MOSKOWITZ: Hey! Hey!

-JAKEY: Dad! -Can I have a word with you guys?

Yeah. Sure.

Any idea what this is?

-Hmm? -Oh.

Why would you post that on TikTok?

Are you out of your mind, Jakey?

-I'm so... I mean... -So you do know.

-JAKEY: Dad! -I had to get this sent to me

-by another parent. -Dad! -I'm sorry.

-That's got nothing to do with us. -Whoa, whoa.

We didn't do anything about that.

-We just happened to walk... -We walked in...

No, no. Jakey told me that you said

that because his brain isn't fully formed,

that he can do whatever he wants?

So out of context. Like, there was a whole circle of trust

-that was... -Oh, a-and what's this

I hear about cunnilingus on a marsupial?

Hamster's a rodent, and it's... it's a cautionary tale

-and it's got nothing to do with what... -I don't give...

-We had nothing to do with that. -I don't... I do not care!

-Okay. -All right?

You should be ashamed of yourself.

-Both of you. Get out of my house. -I mean, what--

how do you think he talks? What do you think happens when he...?

-What does it matter? We get paid on the back end. -He listens to Lil Dicky...

I'm not paying you any more money, not another dollar!

-Bro. -No. You just lea...

-What do you mean? -But you need to leave right now.

When you have a contract with somebody,

you just have to pay them the money that they're owed.

Hey, you want to control your posse? Huh?

-Oh, my God. -Posse? Get a grip.

It's a very racially charged word, "posse," okay?

Why don't you think about the things you say?

-Racially charged? -He's my fucking friend, okay?

-Hey, hey, hey. -You booked Lil Dicky.

-I don't know what you expect. -I can't believe

that you let Darren hang around with these perverts!

-Who the fuck is Darren? -No, get the hell out right now!

-This is a chain reaction that you started. -Leave right now!

-I didn't start anything! You guys started it! -Fine, all right.

-I'm sorry, Jakey. -Get out of my house now! -JAKEY: Now they're leaving!

Your fault! You're the worst dad ever!

You just suck it up, okay?

-MIKE: Hey. -Don't have a fit!

It's his bar mitzvah.

[Elz chuckles]

[both laugh]

I can't believe that kid posted that on TikTok.

ELZ: I was thinking the same thing. I can't believe

that we got kicked out of another fucking bar mitzvah.

-What the fuck is going on? -We should've just called in a bomb threat.

-We were such assholes back then. -You were the bigger asshole

-when we were kids, for the record. -I was the bigger asshole?

We were both pretty bad.

Yeah.

What are you doing?

Being a bigger asshole.

-DAVE: Oh... my God. -Go!

-Go, fucking go! -Get out! Get out! Go! Come on, it's time!

-Come on, piggy boy! -Come on, it's time! It's time!

-We're free! We're free! -Come on! Come on!

Save your soul. Save your soul, llama.

Come on, Pig Newton. It's time to go, Pig Newton.

Aah! Aah! [mock sobbing]

Go! Go! Yes, yes, yes!

Go, go, go. Go, go, go. Where'd you park?

Uh, this way.

[both laughing]

[lowing]

[bleating]

[quietly]: What the fuck?

That's crazy.

[lowing, bleating]

JAKEY: No, d-don't leave.

[horse neighs]

Gata! Gata! Gata!

I-It's my bar mitzvah,

and my dad just kicked out LD, a-and now everyone's leaving.

What you mean LD got kicked out?

I-I know all your songs. You guys are my favorites.

Just please help.

[panting]: Please.

-I got you, bro. I'm gonna hook you up, man. -Okay.

-[electronic chime] -Okay.

This for you, man.

-You say it's your bar mitzvah? -Yes. Yes.

-I got you, bro. -Let's go.

-Okay. -Come on, man.

-Yeah. -You ready?

-Yeah. -♪ Shorty wanna♪

♪ Check, check, check, check♪

♪ 'Cause I got my-- shorty wanna check♪

♪ Check, check, check♪

♪ 'Cause I got my ♪

♪ Shorty wanna check, check, check, check♪

♪ 'Cause I got my-- shorty wanna...♪

Guys, come on! Gata! Gata!

♪ Check, check, man, you need to check up♪

♪ Real paper in my Paper Denims♪

♪ Real nigga gonna pay for dinner♪

♪ Oh, I'm braggin', I'm sorry♪

♪ What I love, calamari♪

♪ The good life ain't new to me♪

♪ Tell me what you're gonna do for me♪

♪ I'm with two hos, that's two for three♪

♪ Really pimpin' like, really?♪

♪ Hold up, baby, I'm boomin'♪

♪ Cameras on me, they zoomin'♪

♪ I pray to God I don't lose it♪

♪ Spike Lee make a movie♪

♪ About everything I'm doin'♪

♪ These Benjamins I'm pursuin'♪

♪ I'm after Jacksons, I'm the captain♪

♪ At the dinner table with some black napkins♪

♪ Check, check, check, check♪

♪ 'Cause I got my checkup♪

♪ Shorty wanna check, check, check, check♪

♪ 'Cause I got my checkup♪

♪ Shorty wanna check, check, check, check♪

-♪ 'Cause I got my checkup♪ -♪ Shorty wanna♪

♪ Check, check, check, check♪

♪ Man, you need to check up♪

♪

♪ All hundos, just for fun, though♪

♪ Swordfish, that's for lunch, though♪

♪ Room service, my breakfast♪

♪ 24-7 I'm flexin'♪

-♪ Jackboys wanna jack the boy♪ -♪ Nope♪

♪ 'Cause they know I'm 'bout my stacks, boy♪

♪ Money preachin' like Pastor Troy♪

♪ I'm the man, girl, ask your boy♪

♪ Check, check, check, check♪

-♪ 'Cause I got my checkup♪ -♪ Shorty wanna♪

♪ Check, check, check, check♪

-♪ 'Cause I got my checkup♪ -♪ Shorty wanna♪

♪ Check, check, check, check♪

-♪ 'Cause I got my checkup♪ -♪ Shorty wanna♪

♪ Check, check, check, check♪

♪ Man, you need to check up.♪

Making an album has been, like, psychological chaos.

[HIP-HOP INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING]

It's got to be so smart...

[BEATBOXING]

...so poignant...

[BOTH LAUGHING][WHOOPING]

[CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS]

[MAN WHOOPING]

...reinventive.

[ALL CHEERING]

I'm gonna be okay, right?

Yeah.Yes.

He'll be fine.Oh, yeah.

♪ Hi, I'm Dave

[SCREAMING]

♪ Hi, I'm Dave

♪ Hi, I'm Dave

I'm an addict, and I'm an out-of-control addict.

And what I've learned is I'm not that healthy.

I want to talk to people that are open.

I want to learn about myself,

and that's my intention, right?MAN: Right.

DAVID: It's not going the way I want.

[GROWLING]

BOTH: Stop yelling at me! Stop yelling at me!

I'm cool with that.

Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.