Original subtitles

Previously on Bro-Dependent.

I'm working on this really exciting energy drink project,

but Oxycontin is super expensive on the black market.

Anderson, I am not investing in your drug drink.

Will you marry me?

Oh my God, no.

Oh, ew! Why the fuck did you do this!

It's okay, it's okay.

I'll never love again. Zack, it's not your fault, okay?

Like, you're so trusting, you know?

You're such a kind spirit.

I know.

Zac, no. Dude, don't cry.

When you cry dude, it straight up breaks my heart, okay?

Cheer the fuck up, dude. It's going to be okay.

Things are looking up, okay?

You and I are back on good terms.

You're like, financial contribution to Quatro Cotton

is going to take this shit to the next level.

We're going to be crazy rich, dude.

We're going to be like, Dennis Quaid rich.

Totally. Then Carolyn will want me back!

No, dude. You have to stop saying that, okay?

No she will dude, I swear.

I'm not saying that she wouldn't,

I'm saying that it's not good for you, okay?

It's fine! Dude, it's-

Guys. Guys, shut up.

Are you going to buy this Oxy or not?

Yeah. Oh, sorry Oxy dude.

Yes, yes, we want to buy the Oxy.

Then give me the money.

Oh! Oh, I'm sorry dude. I'm on some right now

and I'm like, "la la la la la la".

Dude, Zack, fucking hook this drug dealer up, okay?

Fuck yeah.

All right. Drug deal!

Why the hell do you guys want to meet in a mall parking lot

on a Sunday for anyway?

Oh, it's one of the those hide-in-plain-sight

sort of deals, you know?

Hey girl! Sick mom jeans!

Also, they've got a Mrs. Fields in there

and I super feel like a cookie cake right now.

All right.

What the fuck is this?

It's your money dude.

Sorry it's like messy or whatever,

but this is all I could find in my room.

It's ten thousand dollars though.

Hey guys. Oh shit!

Oh shit! Run!

Whoa, hey. I just need you guys to move your car.

There's a lot of spaces, so. All right, have a good one.

Wait, wait, wait, wait. Hey dude. Dude.

Hey. You didn't see nothing, okay?

You just pay on your way out.

Okay then.

Okay.

Holy shit. Okay, I think we're fine.

So what are you guys going to do with all this?

Oh, I'm selling a new energy drink with Oxycontin in it.

So you're a drug dealer?

No, why the fuck does everyone keep saying that?

You're the drug dealer, douche bag.

No, actually I'm a cop and you're under arrest

for buying a schedule one narcotic with intent to sell.

Get your hands where I can see them.

Oh shit, schedule one?

You have the right to remain silent.

Wait, wait dude. Dude! Dude, calm down.

If we ask him if he's a cop and he says no, that's entrapment.

Are you a cop?

Yeah, and you're under arrest.

Oh shit! Run!

Oh! Zack! Oh my God, Zack. Oh fuck.

Oh God, Zack. I'm sorry dude. This is all my fault.

Dude. Dude stop. Listen to me, listen.

Did it look cool when I got hit by that car?

Yeah dude, it was so cool.

Cool. It was so funny dude. Zack.

Oh my God, Zack.

You were like, "Oh, owie," You're so funny dude.

It was so sad, too. It was so sad.

You're so funny and it was so sad.

Oh! I love you Zack. Don't be dead.

No! Zack!