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1
00:00:03,603 --> 00:00:04,768
You're leaving early?
2
00:00:04,770 --> 00:00:06,437
I gotta finish
stringing up my lights.
3
00:00:06,439 --> 00:00:08,839
This'll be my biggest
Christmas display yet.
4
00:00:08,841 --> 00:00:10,107
It'll make Rockefeller Center
5
00:00:10,109 --> 00:00:11,976
look like
a stack of used diapers.
6
00:00:11,978 --> 00:00:13,644
God bless us, every one.
7
00:00:13,646 --> 00:00:15,563
Wait, I thought you said
the electricity bills
8
00:00:15,564 --> 00:00:17,181
- killed you last year.
- They did,
9
00:00:17,249 --> 00:00:18,582
but I figured out
a work-around,
10
00:00:18,584 --> 00:00:20,150
so it won't
cost me anything.
11
00:00:20,152 --> 00:00:22,286
- What's that you're wrapping?
- It's a gift for Lacey.
12
00:00:22,288 --> 00:00:26,056
We decided to do a co-quasi
semi-business partner
13
00:00:26,058 --> 00:00:26,991
Christmas present swap.
14
00:00:26,993 --> 00:00:29,159
Just a small thing.
It's nothing special.
15
00:00:29,161 --> 00:00:30,895
Well, I'm sure she'll like it.
16
00:00:30,897 --> 00:00:32,257
As long as
it's something personal.
17
00:00:32,281 --> 00:00:33,899
- Personal?
- Yeah.
18
00:00:33,900 --> 00:00:36,000
Something meaningful
and unique to her,
19
00:00:36,002 --> 00:00:37,668
and not just a piece of jewelry.
20
00:00:38,570 --> 00:00:40,851
- You got her jewelry.
- It's not jewelry.
21
00:00:41,806 --> 00:00:43,474
Is a bracelet jewelry?
22
00:00:43,476 --> 00:00:47,344
♪ You think there's not a lot
goin' on ♪
23
00:00:47,346 --> 00:00:50,781
♪ Look closer, baby
you're so wrong ♪
24
00:00:51,475 --> 00:00:54,304
sync & correction by f1nc0
~ Addic7ed.com ~
25
00:01:01,426 --> 00:01:02,326
How's it coming?
26
00:01:02,328 --> 00:01:05,529
Everything ready for
the Christmas Eve party?
27
00:01:05,531 --> 00:01:07,865
- Not even close.
- Good.
28
00:01:07,867 --> 00:01:10,034
Wait,
not close is not good.
29
00:01:10,036 --> 00:01:12,303
Better shake a leg, woman,
it's tomorrow night.
30
00:01:12,305 --> 00:01:15,205
- I might call the damn thing off.
- Like hell!
31
00:01:15,207 --> 00:01:17,841
That's how I feel...
like hell.
32
00:01:17,843 --> 00:01:20,210
My head is pounding,
and I got chills.
33
00:01:20,212 --> 00:01:22,212
Well, have some tea,
or rum,
34
00:01:22,214 --> 00:01:23,814
or suck an onion.
35
00:01:23,816 --> 00:01:26,116
I look forward to this party
every year.
36
00:01:26,217 --> 00:01:28,719
That's because all you do is party.
37
00:01:28,721 --> 00:01:31,288
I do all the prep,
all the running around,
38
00:01:31,290 --> 00:01:33,624
all the cooking,
and all the cleanup.
39
00:01:33,626 --> 00:01:35,592
I'm too sick to do everything.
40
00:01:35,594 --> 00:01:38,862
If you don't do your share,
there's no party this year.
41
00:01:40,099 --> 00:01:43,367
- Hey, Lacey, can I get a coffee?
- Sure, just help yourself.
42
00:01:43,369 --> 00:01:45,269
I'm knitting
a Christmas sweater for Brent,
43
00:01:45,271 --> 00:01:47,604
and I'm in a bit of a panic
to get it done.
44
00:01:47,606 --> 00:01:49,807
It's December 23rd.
Doesn't give you much time.
45
00:01:49,809 --> 00:01:52,142
Yeah, that's probably
what the panic is about.
46
00:01:52,144 --> 00:01:54,611
I screwed up the moose
pattern on the front
47
00:01:54,613 --> 00:01:55,412
and had to start over.
48
00:01:55,547 --> 00:01:57,614
Karen?
49
00:01:57,616 --> 00:01:58,215
Davis?
50
00:01:58,283 --> 00:02:00,918
Karen?
Can you... me?
51
00:02:00,920 --> 00:02:01,752
Can I what you?
52
00:02:01,754 --> 00:02:03,788
I said
I need to talk to you
53
00:02:03,789 --> 00:02:06,991
about what we're...
Jeez, this static is terrible.
54
00:02:06,993 --> 00:02:09,460
Might be the batteries
in your radio.
55
00:02:09,462 --> 00:02:12,563
Or first contact
with an alien civilization.
56
00:02:12,565 --> 00:02:15,532
There are billions of galaxies
in the universe,
57
00:02:15,534 --> 00:02:18,235
so it makes sense there'd be
another civilization out there
58
00:02:18,237 --> 00:02:19,903
wanting to make contact.
59
00:02:23,308 --> 00:02:26,410
Or it could be something else.
60
00:02:27,145 --> 00:02:28,879
- Heya.
- Nothing!
61
00:02:28,881 --> 00:02:31,915
Okay, then.
Listen, I was just wondering...
62
00:02:31,917 --> 00:02:34,551
- Hey, what's with the moose?
- Nothing!
63
00:02:34,553 --> 00:02:37,621
Just a moose.
Regular old Christmas moose.
64
00:02:37,623 --> 00:02:39,390
Christmas moose?
What's that?
65
00:02:39,524 --> 00:02:41,625
You never heard of
the Christmas moose?
66
00:02:41,627 --> 00:02:44,194
It's a big thing back home.
Big tradition.
67
00:02:44,362 --> 00:02:47,498
The Christmas moose holiday
tradition is a thing...
68
00:02:47,500 --> 00:02:48,399
in the city.
69
00:02:48,401 --> 00:02:51,535
And you like this moose thing,
personally?
70
00:02:51,537 --> 00:02:54,805
Big time.
Love the Christmas moose.
71
00:02:55,975 --> 00:02:57,775
Hmm...
72
00:03:01,714 --> 00:03:04,415
Hey, Hank. You ever heard
of a Christmas moose?
73
00:03:04,417 --> 00:03:06,817
No.
Oh, unless you mean goose.
74
00:03:06,819 --> 00:03:07,751
Do you mean goose?
75
00:03:07,753 --> 00:03:09,453
You probably mean
Christmas goose.
76
00:03:09,455 --> 00:03:11,889
Right, I keep forgetting
not to ask you things.
77
00:03:12,792 --> 00:03:14,691
Oh, hey, Dad.
We're closed.
78
00:03:14,693 --> 00:03:15,526
Tough turnips.
79
00:03:15,660 --> 00:03:17,694
Your mother gave me
a list of crap I gotta get
80
00:03:17,696 --> 00:03:19,129
for our Christmas Eve party.
81
00:03:19,131 --> 00:03:21,031
I'm so sick and tired...
82
00:03:21,033 --> 00:03:22,866
- You're sick?
- What?
83
00:03:22,868 --> 00:03:24,902
You shouldn't be running
around if you're sick.
84
00:03:24,904 --> 00:03:26,470
Want me to give you a hand?
85
00:03:26,472 --> 00:03:29,273
Y-yeah...
I'm sick as hell.
86
00:03:29,441 --> 00:03:32,176
Oh, god... got the shakes,
and the sweats,
87
00:03:32,178 --> 00:03:34,144
and the... the bends,
88
00:03:34,146 --> 00:03:37,314
but I couldn't bear to see
Emma doing all the work.
89
00:03:37,316 --> 00:03:39,249
Aw, you're
a good guy, Oscar.
90
00:03:39,251 --> 00:03:42,419
Give me the list.
You rest up.
91
00:03:43,088 --> 00:03:44,988
You ever heard of
Christmas moose?
92
00:03:44,990 --> 00:03:47,825
Yeah. You ever heard
of Easter, Jughead?
93
00:03:47,827 --> 00:03:50,861
It's moments like this
that make the holidays special.
94
00:03:53,999 --> 00:03:56,166
That's good stuff, Hank.
95
00:03:56,168 --> 00:03:58,602
When you've got
the wreath hung,
96
00:03:58,604 --> 00:04:00,170
I have a couple
of other things...
97
00:04:01,240 --> 00:04:03,874
that need doing.
98
00:04:03,876 --> 00:04:06,610
- What's all the noise?
- Oh, sorry, Emma.
99
00:04:06,612 --> 00:04:08,479
I don't know
how to hammer quietly.
100
00:04:08,481 --> 00:04:10,948
Why are you hammering at all?
101
00:04:10,950 --> 00:04:12,616
Just hanging
this wreath for Oscar.
102
00:04:12,618 --> 00:04:14,718
I'm helping him
with the chores you gave him,
103
00:04:14,720 --> 00:04:17,821
- 'cause he's sick.
- Oh, he is, is he?
104
00:04:17,823 --> 00:04:20,157
Now, hold on, before you get...
105
00:04:20,159 --> 00:04:23,961
- He caught it from me.
- I'm sick too.
106
00:04:23,963 --> 00:04:25,329
If you're finished
out here,
107
00:04:25,331 --> 00:04:27,598
come give me a hand
with the dishes.
108
00:04:30,236 --> 00:04:33,303
Hey, Phil, you ever hear
of a Christmas moose?
109
00:04:33,305 --> 00:04:35,372
Lacey says it was
a tradition in her family.
110
00:04:35,374 --> 00:04:37,274
No, never heard of it,
111
00:04:37,276 --> 00:04:41,044
but every family has their own
weird holiday traditions.
112
00:04:41,046 --> 00:04:43,147
In my family,
we used to take stockings,
113
00:04:43,149 --> 00:04:46,917
like for feet, and hang
them on the fireplace!
114
00:04:46,919 --> 00:04:50,187
- Hmm, that's not very...
- Then we'd bring a tree...
115
00:04:50,189 --> 00:04:52,789
into the house!
116
00:04:52,791 --> 00:04:54,458
- Outrageous.
- Isn't it?
117
00:04:54,460 --> 00:04:56,693
I miss those traditions.
118
00:04:56,695 --> 00:04:59,763
Wait, that's it!
Lacey is away from her family,
119
00:04:59,765 --> 00:05:02,199
so she's missing all her old
Christmas traditions,
120
00:05:02,201 --> 00:05:03,867
like her moose thing
or whatever.
121
00:05:03,869 --> 00:05:04,568
I'm going to find out
122
00:05:04,769 --> 00:05:06,289
what other traditions
she grew up with,
123
00:05:06,313 --> 00:05:08,572
so I can give her a Christmas
like she remembers.
124
00:05:08,574 --> 00:05:11,074
That's a personal,
unique gift, right?
125
00:05:11,076 --> 00:05:16,213
...and then we'd make
a drink out of raw eggs!
126
00:05:17,149 --> 00:05:18,048
Thanks, Phil.
127
00:05:18,050 --> 00:05:19,783
You've been
inadvertently helpful.
128
00:05:27,258 --> 00:05:29,526
Bad news, Wanda.
Your Christmas light display
129
00:05:29,528 --> 00:05:32,029
is causing interference
with our radios.
130
00:05:32,031 --> 00:05:34,531
Good news, World War
II is over, and we won.
131
00:05:34,666 --> 00:05:36,066
You can put
your walkie-talkies away
132
00:05:36,068 --> 00:05:38,135
- and use your phones.
- This is serious.
133
00:05:38,137 --> 00:05:39,369
We have a job to do,
134
00:05:39,371 --> 00:05:41,405
and you can't be interfering
with our equipment.
135
00:05:41,573 --> 00:05:43,607
This is way too many
lights anyway.
136
00:05:43,609 --> 00:05:45,976
The electric bill must be huge.
137
00:05:45,978 --> 00:05:48,378
It was, but I rigged up my own grid box
138
00:05:48,380 --> 00:05:50,231
that amplifies a direct current using
139
00:05:50,232 --> 00:05:52,082
semi-coil conductivity running parallel
140
00:05:52,084 --> 00:05:54,751
with an aggregated
magnetization panel.
141
00:05:55,653 --> 00:05:59,256
So... there's no IQ test
to be a cop?
142
00:05:59,258 --> 00:06:02,826
They just give a gun to anybody?
Hmm.
143
00:06:07,233 --> 00:06:09,466
Well, there's the problem.
144
00:06:10,668 --> 00:06:13,403
- Hey!
- Thanks for understanding.
145
00:06:13,705 --> 00:06:16,173
Are you kidding me?!
146
00:06:16,175 --> 00:06:19,142
Thanks a lot, Sergeant Scrooge
and Officer Grinch!
147
00:06:19,144 --> 00:06:21,111
The cops hate Christmas!
148
00:06:21,113 --> 00:06:24,248
Pass it on, everybody,
the cops hate Christmas!
149
00:06:24,250 --> 00:06:26,350
We don't hate Christmas.
150
00:06:26,352 --> 00:06:30,921
- We love Christmas!
- Yeah! Probably more than you!
151
00:06:32,091 --> 00:06:34,224
Oh,
you love Christmas, do ya?
152
00:06:34,226 --> 00:06:37,027
Well, we'll just see
how much you love it.
153
00:06:37,029 --> 00:06:40,762
Mwa-ha-ha-ha!
154
00:06:45,939 --> 00:06:47,472
Hmm?
Huh?
155
00:06:47,474 --> 00:06:49,941
13 rockets are too many.
156
00:06:49,943 --> 00:06:52,844
What?
Hank, is that you?
157
00:06:52,846 --> 00:06:55,346
Oh.
Hey... Hey, Emma.
158
00:06:55,348 --> 00:06:58,450
Yeah, you got caught up in
the tail end of a dream there.
159
00:06:58,452 --> 00:07:01,453
A platypus was trying
to sell me some rockets,
160
00:07:01,455 --> 00:07:03,755
but the floor of my castle
was already melting.
161
00:07:03,757 --> 00:07:06,391
Listen, I have
some last-minute things
162
00:07:06,393 --> 00:07:08,893
that you need to get done
for our party tonight.
163
00:07:08,895 --> 00:07:11,563
Me?
But it's Christmas Eve.
164
00:07:11,565 --> 00:07:13,531
Yeah.
It's a Christmas Eve party.
165
00:07:13,533 --> 00:07:16,167
But I have a bunch
of my own stuff to do.
166
00:07:16,169 --> 00:07:19,204
My lights aren't up,
I still need a tree...
167
00:07:19,206 --> 00:07:22,073
Don't bother him, Emma.
168
00:07:22,075 --> 00:07:24,676
I'll do it.
Just help me up.
169
00:07:24,844 --> 00:07:27,612
I-I fell down again
from the dizziness.
170
00:07:27,614 --> 00:07:31,349
I can't lift you, Oscar,
my spleen is swollen.
171
00:07:32,285 --> 00:07:34,385
Your spleen?
Just push it back in.
172
00:07:34,387 --> 00:07:36,058
I'll be right over.
173
00:07:37,089 --> 00:07:41,359
- What the hell?
- When did this happen?
174
00:07:41,361 --> 00:07:42,560
Early this morning!
175
00:07:42,562 --> 00:07:45,063
I know how much you guys
love Christmas.
176
00:07:45,065 --> 00:07:46,865
More than anyone, probably!
177
00:07:46,867 --> 00:07:50,335
So I figured this would be
a nice holiday surprise.
178
00:07:50,337 --> 00:07:53,605
- You can't do this.
- That's what I thought, too,
179
00:07:53,607 --> 00:07:55,473
but it was actually super easy.
180
00:07:55,475 --> 00:07:57,509
A couple of cans
of spray adhesive,
181
00:07:57,511 --> 00:07:58,877
a dozen boxes of tinsel...
182
00:07:58,879 --> 00:08:01,520
- How are we supposed to...
- You're welcome!
183
00:08:01,555 --> 00:08:05,517
Merry Christmas,
Christmas lovers!
184
00:08:05,584 --> 00:08:08,052
How do we...?
185
00:08:09,955 --> 00:08:11,289
How's Brent's
sweater coming?
186
00:08:11,291 --> 00:08:12,957
I'm in the home stretch now.
187
00:08:12,959 --> 00:08:14,559
It's really starting
to take shape.
188
00:08:14,561 --> 00:08:16,861
And you're sure you got
all his measurements right?
189
00:08:16,863 --> 00:08:17,662
Measurements?
190
00:08:17,796 --> 00:08:20,365
I never even thought
about measurements.
191
00:08:20,367 --> 00:08:22,800
I was just going from
the standard pattern.
192
00:08:22,802 --> 00:08:25,737
Brent's body isn't
what you'd call "standard."
193
00:08:25,849 --> 00:08:28,850
Oh, no. How am I gonna
get his measurements
194
00:08:28,852 --> 00:08:30,585
without tipping what I'm doing?
195
00:08:30,587 --> 00:08:33,421
- Merry Christmas Eve morning.
- Hi! Yeah.
196
00:08:33,423 --> 00:08:36,691
- I was just, um... waffles?
- Cool. Um, so, listen,
197
00:08:36,693 --> 00:08:38,826
I was just thinking,
for no reason,
198
00:08:38,828 --> 00:08:41,095
about what other
holiday traditions
199
00:08:41,097 --> 00:08:43,698
your family maybe had.
Just a casual thought,
200
00:08:43,700 --> 00:08:46,100
sparked for no reason
by what you said yesterday.
201
00:08:46,102 --> 00:08:48,603
Oh, and what
did I say yesterday?
202
00:08:48,605 --> 00:08:51,005
- About the Christmas moose.
- Oh!
203
00:08:51,007 --> 00:08:52,640
Yes.
The moose.
204
00:08:52,708 --> 00:08:54,642
The Christmas moose tradition.
205
00:08:54,644 --> 00:08:57,913
It was a big thing, uh...
in the city.
206
00:08:57,946 --> 00:09:00,682
We'd see who could lure
the biggest moose, um,
207
00:09:00,684 --> 00:09:02,383
into the downtown core,
208
00:09:02,385 --> 00:09:06,120
and the largest would be
crowned Christmas Moose.
209
00:09:06,122 --> 00:09:06,888
Wow, that...
210
00:09:07,056 --> 00:09:08,990
A lot could go sideways
in that scenario.
211
00:09:08,992 --> 00:09:11,959
One year, we had a moose
whose antlers were wider
212
00:09:11,961 --> 00:09:15,463
than you could probably
stretch your arms out.
213
00:09:15,465 --> 00:09:17,198
Stretch your arms out.
214
00:09:17,200 --> 00:09:19,333
Yeah.
Way bigger than that.
215
00:09:19,335 --> 00:09:22,470
Well, no human could reach
across a whole moose.
216
00:09:22,472 --> 00:09:25,073
- How high can you reach?
- Maybe half a moose.
217
00:09:25,075 --> 00:09:26,808
No, no, this has to do
with the ceremonial...
218
00:09:26,810 --> 00:09:29,544
you know, the changing
of the lightbulbs?
219
00:09:29,546 --> 00:09:32,680
From white bulbs to red.
Christmas red.
220
00:09:32,682 --> 00:09:34,348
Someone would reach up and...
221
00:09:34,350 --> 00:09:38,720
- How high can you reach?
- Red lights, eh?
222
00:09:38,722 --> 00:09:42,690
Okay, the wine is mulled,
the potatoes are peeled,
223
00:09:42,692 --> 00:09:45,159
the stuffing is prepped.
Anything else?
224
00:09:45,161 --> 00:09:48,062
Well, if the stuffing's prepped,
225
00:09:48,064 --> 00:09:50,465
- you should probably...
- Really?
226
00:09:50,467 --> 00:09:52,333
You want me
to stuff the turkey, too?
227
00:09:52,335 --> 00:09:55,103
What. You don't expect us
to handle raw poultry
228
00:09:55,105 --> 00:09:56,437
when we're already swarming
229
00:09:56,439 --> 00:09:59,674
with God knows what kind
of bacterial mega-virus.
230
00:09:59,676 --> 00:10:01,709
Our immune systems are teetering
231
00:10:01,711 --> 00:10:05,379
on the brink of a total
E. coli vortex.
232
00:10:05,381 --> 00:10:08,416
Oh no! I heard about that
on the Weather Channel.
233
00:10:08,418 --> 00:10:12,453
Uh, I-I guess
my Christmas can wait.
234
00:10:14,945 --> 00:10:17,525
Maybe have to wait
until next Christmas.
235
00:10:19,796 --> 00:10:21,863
It's hard to get respect as a cop
236
00:10:21,865 --> 00:10:23,898
when your car looks like a...
237
00:10:23,900 --> 00:10:27,401
- I'm gonna say flapper dress.
- I was gonna say disco wig.
238
00:10:27,403 --> 00:10:30,238
Ooh, Donna Summer.
Hubba hubba.
239
00:10:30,240 --> 00:10:31,520
Maybe we should get
a hair dryer,
240
00:10:31,544 --> 00:10:33,474
melt the glue
and blow off the tinsel.
241
00:10:33,476 --> 00:10:36,544
Or we could take this baby
out on the highway,
242
00:10:36,546 --> 00:10:40,148
and let nature do the blowing.
Hit the siren, rookie.
243
00:10:46,156 --> 00:10:50,391
- I think the siren's frozen.
- That's a Christmas song.
244
00:10:50,393 --> 00:10:53,060
It won't stop.
How did this happen?
245
00:10:55,031 --> 00:10:58,444
- Wanda happened.
- She's everywhere!
246
00:10:58,479 --> 00:10:59,674
She's like an elf on the shelf,
247
00:10:59,698 --> 00:11:02,904
only on the sidewalk,
and smaller.
248
00:11:02,906 --> 00:11:05,273
I see you discovered my gift.
249
00:11:05,275 --> 00:11:08,042
- How do you shut it off?
- I can't hear you!
250
00:11:08,044 --> 00:11:10,578
I can only assume
you're thanking me.
251
00:11:10,580 --> 00:11:15,516
You're welcome, and Joyeux
Noel, Christmas lovers!
252
00:11:15,518 --> 00:11:18,653
Boy, those two sure
love Christmas, huh?
253
00:11:21,491 --> 00:11:22,890
Why the puzzled look?
254
00:11:22,892 --> 00:11:25,393
Huh? Oh, I'm just
reviewing a list I made
255
00:11:25,395 --> 00:11:26,761
for Lacey's Christmas gift.
256
00:11:27,896 --> 00:11:30,631
Uh, not sure where
you're going with this.
257
00:11:30,633 --> 00:11:33,534
Lacey grew up with some
weird Christmas traditions.
258
00:11:33,536 --> 00:11:36,304
We had some doozies
in our family, too.
259
00:11:36,306 --> 00:11:40,107
When I was a kid, we used
to put food out for Santa.
260
00:11:40,109 --> 00:11:43,411
Now, Santa was a magical
northern wizard who...
261
00:11:43,413 --> 00:11:45,546
I know who Santa is!
What do you people...
262
00:11:45,548 --> 00:11:48,182
This is just a partial list.
263
00:11:48,184 --> 00:11:51,519
I need more info, but
how do I talk to Lacey
264
00:11:51,521 --> 00:11:54,422
about her traditions without
her getting suspicious?
265
00:11:55,491 --> 00:11:57,658
Brent...
I just realized
266
00:11:57,660 --> 00:11:59,627
there were some other
Christmas traditions
267
00:11:59,629 --> 00:12:01,529
I forgot to tell you about.
268
00:12:01,531 --> 00:12:02,964
Oh, that worked out really...
269
00:12:02,966 --> 00:12:04,465
Do you know about
the chimney
270
00:12:04,467 --> 00:12:07,201
- and the reindeer?
- Thank you, Fitzy.
271
00:12:07,203 --> 00:12:10,504
- You were saying?
- I forgot to mention the moose call.
272
00:12:10,506 --> 00:12:12,573
- A moose calls you?
- No.
273
00:12:12,575 --> 00:12:15,343
When we tried to lure
the moose into the city,
274
00:12:15,345 --> 00:12:16,677
we'd use a moose call.
275
00:12:16,679 --> 00:12:18,479
That makes sense, right?
276
00:12:18,481 --> 00:12:21,415
Not "sense," necessarily,
but if you...
277
00:12:23,987 --> 00:12:24,619
Jeez!
278
00:12:24,621 --> 00:12:27,588
- Why don't you try?
- O-Okay.
279
00:12:27,590 --> 00:12:29,023
Barroo...
280
00:12:29,925 --> 00:12:32,193
You need to tighten
your throat more.
281
00:12:32,195 --> 00:12:33,761
Wow, you have a big neck.
282
00:12:33,763 --> 00:12:36,097
That's about
three hand lengths?
283
00:12:36,099 --> 00:12:37,431
Barroo...
284
00:12:37,433 --> 00:12:39,133
Whoa, whoa!
What are you...?
285
00:12:39,135 --> 00:12:41,103
I was just thinking
that you're about
286
00:12:41,104 --> 00:12:43,604
the same size around
as, uh...
287
00:12:43,606 --> 00:12:46,474
the watermelon...
we decorate.
288
00:12:46,476 --> 00:12:49,243
We wrap it in lights
and put stickers on it,
289
00:12:49,245 --> 00:12:52,280
- and, uh, glitter?
- "Glitter melon."
290
00:12:52,282 --> 00:12:53,814
- What?
- I was just saying,
291
00:12:53,916 --> 00:12:56,417
I'm, uh, I'm gonna
go close up early.
292
00:12:56,419 --> 00:12:57,485
I have to get ready
293
00:12:57,487 --> 00:12:58,986
for Mom and Dad's
Christmas Eve party,
294
00:12:58,988 --> 00:13:00,855
and I have a lot to do
before then.
295
00:13:00,857 --> 00:13:03,624
- Yes.
- I also have a lot...
296
00:13:03,626 --> 00:13:08,029
of cafe-related things
to do as well, mm-hmm.
297
00:13:08,697 --> 00:13:11,565
Maybe we can call a truce.
298
00:13:11,567 --> 00:13:13,768
We have no leverage to negotiate.
299
00:13:13,770 --> 00:13:17,405
- What does Wanda want?
- All she wants
300
00:13:17,407 --> 00:13:19,807
is to turn on her light
display without going broke.
301
00:13:19,809 --> 00:13:22,643
We just give back
her power-saving gizmo.
302
00:13:22,645 --> 00:13:24,178
Then she'll leave us alone.
303
00:13:24,180 --> 00:13:26,681
Because she'll have
her lights back on.
304
00:13:26,683 --> 00:13:28,883
Wanda,
we brought back your...
305
00:13:28,885 --> 00:13:30,084
What the hell?
306
00:13:31,554 --> 00:13:34,088
Her lights are already back on.
307
00:13:34,090 --> 00:13:37,468
- Now what?
- Now we're Scrooged.
308
00:13:41,221 --> 00:13:43,188
She turned her lights back on.
309
00:13:43,190 --> 00:13:45,924
Do you know
what this means?
310
00:13:45,926 --> 00:13:48,260
Yes, but...
I want you to say it.
311
00:13:48,262 --> 00:13:51,029
We've lost our leverage
with Wanda.
312
00:13:51,031 --> 00:13:53,398
Right.
Wait, why is that power cord
313
00:13:53,400 --> 00:13:55,534
running away from her house?
314
00:14:01,274 --> 00:14:03,074
You mess with
our walkie talkies,
315
00:14:03,076 --> 00:14:05,110
you festively
sabotage our car,
316
00:14:05,112 --> 00:14:07,679
and now you steal power
from the town!
317
00:14:07,681 --> 00:14:09,347
I got desperate, okay?
318
00:14:09,349 --> 00:14:12,184
I mean, what's Christmas
without twinkly lights?
319
00:14:12,186 --> 00:14:15,153
I'm sorry about the tinsel,
and the caroling siren,
320
00:14:15,155 --> 00:14:16,488
and the nog bombs.
321
00:14:16,490 --> 00:14:19,024
- I just wanted...
- Wait, nog bombs?
322
00:14:19,026 --> 00:14:20,091
They didn't go off?
323
00:14:22,021 --> 00:14:23,895
Huh, my watch must be fast.
324
00:14:23,897 --> 00:14:25,831
Congratulations, Wanda.
325
00:14:25,833 --> 00:14:30,202
You're getting yourself
a big fat Christmas ticket.
326
00:14:30,204 --> 00:14:33,673
Well, nice work, Sergeant
Krampus and Officer...
327
00:14:33,706 --> 00:14:37,008
Old Man Potter
from "It's a Wonderful Life"...
328
00:14:37,010 --> 00:14:38,310
if he was a cop!
329
00:14:38,312 --> 00:14:41,713
I'm taking all my lights down!
You happy now?
330
00:14:53,093 --> 00:14:55,257
What are you grinning at?
331
00:14:56,195 --> 00:14:58,263
Everything's almost ready,
332
00:14:58,265 --> 00:15:00,098
but I feel like
I'm forgetting something.
333
00:15:00,100 --> 00:15:03,969
Just come and have
a rum and eggnog, huh?
334
00:15:03,971 --> 00:15:05,871
We'll sit by the tree, and...
335
00:15:05,873 --> 00:15:09,174
Holy Hanukkah!
We don't have a tree!
336
00:15:09,176 --> 00:15:13,411
So long, Nick.
Maybe next year.
337
00:15:14,881 --> 00:15:17,849
Leaky Santa? I got a
patch kit in the glove box.
338
00:15:17,851 --> 00:15:19,017
He's not leaking.
339
00:15:19,019 --> 00:15:21,620
He's been decommissioned
by fascists.
340
00:15:21,622 --> 00:15:24,289
- Now Christmas sucks.
- Christmas doesn't suck.
341
00:15:24,291 --> 00:15:26,958
Sure, it can be tough sometimes.
342
00:15:26,960 --> 00:15:28,226
Take Oscar and Emma.
343
00:15:28,228 --> 00:15:30,428
I had to do all their prep work
for their party,
344
00:15:30,430 --> 00:15:32,030
and they're too sick to do it.
345
00:15:32,032 --> 00:15:34,466
Anyway, I better get going.
I barely have time
346
00:15:34,468 --> 00:15:36,301
to get my own tree
and decorations up.
347
00:15:37,738 --> 00:15:39,304
Hank talkin'.
348
00:15:39,306 --> 00:15:42,374
Hank, is that you?
I'm so weak.
349
00:15:42,376 --> 00:15:45,043
- Oscar? What's wrong?
- It's Emma.
350
00:15:46,079 --> 00:15:49,881
In her fevered state,
she forgot to get a tree.
351
00:15:49,883 --> 00:15:52,317
- Sure, blame me.
- What?
352
00:15:52,319 --> 00:15:56,855
I said, I blame me,
and my fever.
353
00:15:57,924 --> 00:16:01,793
So I guess we'll just
do without one this year.
354
00:16:01,795 --> 00:16:03,912
Wait!
I happen to have a tree
355
00:16:03,913 --> 00:16:06,898
with me right now.
I'll be right over.
356
00:16:06,900 --> 00:16:10,268
You're giving them your tree?
What about your Christmas?
357
00:16:10,270 --> 00:16:13,371
Ah, the holidays are more
than trees and lights.
358
00:16:13,373 --> 00:16:15,373
They're about helping people.
359
00:16:15,375 --> 00:16:18,209
You're a better person than I am.
If that was me,
360
00:16:18,211 --> 00:16:19,491
I'd tell 'em
to cram a candy cane
361
00:16:19,515 --> 00:16:22,080
- and kiss my chocolate orange.
- That's the spirit.
362
00:16:22,082 --> 00:16:24,342
Merry Christmas, Wanda.
363
00:16:25,184 --> 00:16:28,954
What a sap.
A sweet, stupid sap.
364
00:16:31,124 --> 00:16:34,259
Well, I appreciate being
invited over for a drink
365
00:16:34,261 --> 00:16:35,727
before your parents' party,
366
00:16:35,729 --> 00:16:38,163
but why do I have to keep
my eyes closed?
367
00:16:38,165 --> 00:16:42,000
You'll see.
Just come in a little further...
368
00:16:42,002 --> 00:16:43,802
and open!
369
00:16:48,041 --> 00:16:50,375
Sorry, I can't do
a proper moose call,
370
00:16:50,377 --> 00:16:52,110
so I had to improvise.
371
00:16:52,112 --> 00:16:55,714
- Wh-what is all of this?
- This is your present!
372
00:16:55,716 --> 00:16:58,016
I tricked you into
answering questions
373
00:16:58,018 --> 00:16:59,384
about your holiday traditions,
374
00:16:59,386 --> 00:17:00,919
and then cleverly wove them
375
00:17:00,921 --> 00:17:03,221
into this personalized gift,
376
00:17:03,223 --> 00:17:04,556
and also the Christmas
watermelon.
377
00:17:04,558 --> 00:17:06,558
Won didn't have
any melons,
378
00:17:06,560 --> 00:17:08,159
so I spray-painted a pumpkin.
379
00:17:08,161 --> 00:17:10,428
- I see. Um...
- But the hat rack lamp
380
00:17:10,430 --> 00:17:12,497
is authentic antlers and bones.
381
00:17:12,499 --> 00:17:15,133
Gus hit a moose
on the highway last night.
382
00:17:15,135 --> 00:17:17,035
It's a Christmas miracle!
383
00:17:19,339 --> 00:17:21,406
- What's so funny?
- First of all,
384
00:17:21,408 --> 00:17:24,943
I cunningly made up these
traditions to measure you
385
00:17:24,945 --> 00:17:27,545
so I could make you this gift.
386
00:17:27,547 --> 00:17:30,815
The only Christmas moose
is the one on this sweater,
387
00:17:30,817 --> 00:17:33,018
which I knitted for ya,
all by myself.
388
00:17:33,020 --> 00:17:35,286
Wait a minute,
you lied to me,
389
00:17:35,288 --> 00:17:37,155
while I was
just fibbing to you?
390
00:17:37,157 --> 00:17:38,590
Oh, shut up and try it on.
391
00:17:39,725 --> 00:17:40,992
Oh...
392
00:17:40,994 --> 00:17:42,894
Are you sure
you measured me,
393
00:17:42,896 --> 00:17:45,263
and not someone else?
Like, from a circus?
394
00:17:45,265 --> 00:17:47,532
All right, it needs
a few adjustments,
395
00:17:47,534 --> 00:17:49,501
and the moose kinda
got away from me.
396
00:17:49,503 --> 00:17:51,102
It sort of
looks like a moose.
397
00:17:51,104 --> 00:17:52,671
Moose-slash-Satan.
398
00:17:52,673 --> 00:17:54,539
It-it's probably
just the red lights.
399
00:17:54,541 --> 00:17:55,840
Yeah, well, the red lights
400
00:17:55,842 --> 00:17:58,810
aren't doing your lamp
rack any favours either.
401
00:17:58,812 --> 00:18:00,011
You're right.
402
00:18:00,013 --> 00:18:02,547
Ah, I'm sorry.
I just really wanted
403
00:18:02,549 --> 00:18:04,683
to give you something
personal this year.
404
00:18:04,685 --> 00:18:08,319
Aw... I wanted to do
that for you, too.
405
00:18:08,321 --> 00:18:10,588
Well, look, we both tried,
406
00:18:10,590 --> 00:18:12,457
and we both fell a bit short,
407
00:18:12,459 --> 00:18:15,393
- so we're good, right?
- Agreed.
408
00:18:15,395 --> 00:18:16,227
Now, how about a drink?
409
00:18:16,229 --> 00:18:18,797
I made a batch
of pumpkin-spiced rum.
410
00:18:18,799 --> 00:18:20,165
Oh, yeah, well,
411
00:18:20,167 --> 00:18:22,205
you know, I think
I'm just gonna have wine.
412
00:18:23,703 --> 00:18:25,937
Wanda?
What are you doing at my place?
413
00:18:25,939 --> 00:18:27,939
I came over here to do this.
414
00:18:27,941 --> 00:18:28,907
Brace yourself.
415
00:18:30,010 --> 00:18:30,842
Ugh.
416
00:18:31,010 --> 00:18:33,411
This car's gonna smell
like rotten nog forever.
417
00:18:33,413 --> 00:18:35,980
Not on my watch.
Behold...
418
00:18:35,982 --> 00:18:38,183
the festive freshener.
419
00:18:38,185 --> 00:18:42,287
- Merry Christmas, partner.
- Merry Christmas.
420
00:18:42,289 --> 00:18:44,689
Wow, that's really
getting bright.
421
00:18:44,691 --> 00:18:47,459
No, that's coming from outside.
422
00:18:47,461 --> 00:18:50,428
Oh, no.
Probably aliens.
423
00:18:52,799 --> 00:18:54,966
Whoa!
You did this?
424
00:18:54,968 --> 00:18:56,601
- For me?
- Remember how I told you
425
00:18:56,603 --> 00:18:58,937
you're a better person
than I am?
426
00:18:58,939 --> 00:19:01,406
Guess you're not.
Suck it, Yarbo!
427
00:19:02,609 --> 00:19:05,110
- And Merry Christmas.
- This is amazing!
428
00:19:05,112 --> 00:19:07,645
Surfing Santa,
and a Christmas flamingo,
429
00:19:07,647 --> 00:19:10,048
and a disco ball, and...
430
00:19:10,050 --> 00:19:12,584
- Uh, I'm not sure what that is.
- It's a tangle.
431
00:19:12,586 --> 00:19:14,853
I didn't have a lot of time.
432
00:19:14,855 --> 00:19:17,122
Nice lights, Hank.
I bet they're enjoying this
433
00:19:17,124 --> 00:19:19,023
on the International
Space Station.
434
00:19:19,025 --> 00:19:21,793
Oh, it's so pretty.
What's that bundle of lights?
435
00:19:21,795 --> 00:19:24,629
- It's a Christmas tumbleweed, okay?
- A what?
436
00:19:24,631 --> 00:19:26,598
You've never heard of
the Christmas tumbleweed?
437
00:19:26,600 --> 00:19:28,032
It's a country thing.
438
00:19:29,938 --> 00:19:32,137
Cheese it! The cops.
You never saw me.
439
00:19:33,673 --> 00:19:37,008
- Feliz Navidad, Dad.
- Fleece yourself, jackass!
440
00:19:37,010 --> 00:19:38,409
Where the hell are you?
441
00:19:38,411 --> 00:19:39,611
And where's everyone else?
442
00:19:39,613 --> 00:19:41,780
- The party's ready to go.
- It is?
443
00:19:41,881 --> 00:19:43,882
Hank told Wanda
you guys were sick,
444
00:19:43,884 --> 00:19:46,618
so Wanda arranged to have
the party at Hank's place.
445
00:19:46,620 --> 00:19:48,620
But we have
everything ready here!
446
00:19:48,622 --> 00:19:50,622
This is the best party of the year.
447
00:19:50,624 --> 00:19:52,457
Oh, thanks a lot, Hank!
448
00:19:52,459 --> 00:19:54,726
- You're welcome.
- Rest up and get well soon.
449
00:19:54,728 --> 00:19:56,168
But we...
450
00:19:56,192 --> 00:19:58,396
Warms your heart, doesn't it?
451
00:20:07,775 --> 00:20:09,943
Merry Christmas!
452
00:20:09,945 --> 00:20:12,913
Turns out we're feeling better.
453
00:20:12,915 --> 00:20:15,248
Must've been one of
those 12-hour bugs.
454
00:20:15,250 --> 00:20:17,183
Anyway, we brought some food.
455
00:20:17,185 --> 00:20:20,120
Oh, that's great.
You can set it up in the kitchen.
456
00:20:20,122 --> 00:20:21,254
We have to set it up?
457
00:20:21,256 --> 00:20:23,456
You said you were
feeling better, right?
458
00:20:24,525 --> 00:20:26,393
- Uh, what's this?
- I feel bad
459
00:20:26,527 --> 00:20:28,428
for the nightmare
moose rack gift,
460
00:20:28,430 --> 00:20:29,829
so I figured
I'd give you the present
461
00:20:29,831 --> 00:20:32,499
I originally planned
on giving you.
462
00:20:35,537 --> 00:20:37,437
You're angry.
I get it.
463
00:20:37,605 --> 00:20:39,706
Jewelry is such an impersonal gift.
464
00:20:39,708 --> 00:20:42,309
I love it!
Aw, you big dumb jerk.
465
00:20:42,311 --> 00:20:45,312
You're welcome, and I'm sorry?
What's happening?
466
00:20:45,314 --> 00:20:48,582
Okay, when we both
exchanged crappy gifts,
467
00:20:48,584 --> 00:20:49,316
we were even.
468
00:20:49,450 --> 00:20:51,718
Then you go and give me
something great?
469
00:20:51,720 --> 00:20:55,121
Thanks a lot, Brent.
Merry stinkin' Christmas.
470
00:20:56,390 --> 00:20:58,142
I don't know why
you just didn't
471
00:20:58,143 --> 00:20:59,894
give her the bracelet
in the first place.
472
00:20:59,895 --> 00:21:01,962
Why don't you stop talking
until the New Year?
473
00:21:06,140 --> 00:21:07,841
♪ I don't know ♪
474
00:21:07,843 --> 00:21:09,376
♪ The same things
you don't know ♪
475
00:21:13,015 --> 00:21:15,482
♪ I don't know ♪
476
00:21:15,484 --> 00:21:18,385
♪ I just... don't know ♪
477
00:21:20,855 --> 00:21:22,956
♪ Ooh... ♪
478
00:21:22,958 --> 00:21:26,626
- ♪ Have a holiday moose ♪
- ♪ Fa-la-la-la... ♪
479
00:21:26,628 --> 00:21:30,281
- ♪ Some glitter pumpkin juice ♪
- ♪ Fa-la-la-la... ♪
480
00:21:30,282 --> 00:21:35,035
- ♪ We love all of youse ♪
- ♪ This I know ♪
481
00:21:35,736 --> 00:21:38,736
sync & correction by f1nc0
~ Addic7ed.com ~
36394
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