Original subtitles

And now, what else is there to say but...

There's no business like show business

Like no business I know

And right here. Follow me, sir.

No, no, no. That's H5, not H6.

And make sure your cell phone is turned off.

Louie, there's not enough legroom.

Ted, this is a theater, not an airline.

Phil, no eating in the theater.

Many theaters have concession stands. That's what I'm trying to say.

Phil, hello? We're practicing late seating. It's a complicated procedure.

I had LASIK surgery. That's a complicated procedure.

I'm sure it was, Zack.

Louie is just trying to make sure he does a good job on his first day of work.

All right, everybody. So, we're back in the theater. Lights out, Phil.

Now, look him in the eye, Louie,

and with a gracious tone, ask to see his ticket.

May I see your ticket, Phil?

-You wouldn't know his name. -Can you talk in a whisper, Zack?

-The show is going on. -You wouldn't know my name.

I might. Maybe I asked. I'm very gracious.

No, you are not going to ask patrons their names.

You will just ask to see their tickets.

May I graciously see your ticket, please? Follow me.

That's a horrible seat. How come Zack gets to sit up front?

Because he's a season ticket holder, Phil.

I'm really hurt that I'm not a season ticket holder.

Get a subscription, Ted. Think ahead.

Louie, the ticket holder has paid good money for this experience.

Be gracious and respectful.

Gracious and respectful. Gracious and respectful.

Gracious and respectful.

-Gracious and respectful. -I can't hear the show.

Phil! You're walking on the stage in the middle of the opening number.

Sit down.

Wonder of wonders, miracle of miracles

God took up Daniel once again

Stood by his side And miracle of miracles

Walked him through the lions' den

Must make the shift go by real quick.

What is wrong with you?

I hate you. You know that, right?

-Oh, God! -Oh, my God!

Insecure human.

It's an interesting species.

-Yo. -I think I like it better out.

-What do you think, Samuel? -Today's an outie day, for sure.

What?

Bess?

They're ready for you. It's down the stairs, Studio A.

Thank you.

Patti Smith.

Sorry.

Hey.

Sorry.

-Who won me? -Me. Bess.

Hi. And this is Samuel.

And that's Benny.

Actually, it's Benjamin.

But I also go by Ben or Benny. Whatever's easiest for you.

But I've also been experimenting with just B.

Benji's dope too.

All right, let's get started.

We have to be quick. We only have a couple of hours.

You guys wanna get in there and we'll start setting some levels?

Yeah, cool.

Oh, my dad's gonna be joining us a little later.

-He's gonna sing on "Dear Hope." -It's your time. It's whatever you want.

You gonna take a nap in there? What is that?

-My keyboard. -How 1983 of you.

I love it. Yeah, most people just use the piano.

There's a piano?

That's totally what I was gonna use.

You're hilarious.

Thanks.

Hey, guys?

If you need more click or voice or piano or whatever,

the private cue is next to you.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, they're separated out on channels. It's labeled.

-Right. -I'm gonna get some levels.

You guys wanna play a bit?

Check, one, two, three.

-Check. -Testing. Testing.

Testing.

Open up my eyes to daylight

In my new city

Where maybe I will wander

Too far away from where I started

Real deal, right?

Open up my heart and break her

No gentle waters, no anchor

I'm barely brave enough To keep breathing

But I believe in love--

Hey, guys, I think we're all set here.

Let's lay one down.

I'm sorry. Hold on.

Samuel, I think lay off until the beginning of the first verse.

But the intro is so sparse without it.

I like how empty it is. It's the beginning of something.

I can do something simple that'll add depth.

That riff that you just played was pretty great, Sam.

It really grabs the attention immediately.

I think I like it quieter to start.

Yeah, but by the time it builds, they'll have changed stations, so...

All right. Let's just try one with it.

I'm sorry, guys. I think I just like it simpler.

Samuel, can you enter at the beginning of the first verse like we rehearsed?

You know, we can always just mute it.

Mute it afterwards if you don't like it.

Okay.

Actually, I just want the piano in the intro.

All right.

Okay. Cool.

Open up my eyes to daylight

In my new city

Where maybe I will wander

Too far away from where I started

Open up my heart and break her

No gentle waters, no anchor

I'm barely brave enough To keep breathing

But I believe in love

There is enough

So ask for more

To fill you up

Nobody's keeping score

Do you know what you fight for?

I've never heard my voice like this.

That's because I had to use a shit ton of Auto-Tune.

I'm kidding. It's just a little compression and some reverb.

You really don't need much, which is crazy, by the way.

Yeah. No, she sounds great.

And I gotta tell you, you were right about the intro.

The simplicity is dope.

-You were wrong, dude. -Yeah. We all were.

-Girl, you gotta get this song out there. -Right?

I knew I heard my baby's voice.

Pop.

Holy shit. This is your dad?

Percy King, wow.

What an honor to meet you.

-Thanks, man. -I have to tell you,

my father introduced me to your music when I was a kid,

and to this day, your first album is one of my favorite records of all time.

Like, one of my top five desert island picks.

I'm not sure how much Bess paid you to say that, but I appreciate it.

You know, I always felt like you never got what was yours.

I'm excited to be in the studio again,

especially with this one.

I gotta tell you, the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.

Your daughter's got your gift, man.

The world awaits. You gotta get her to do a music video.

Hell no.

You ask me, the industry derailed

when everybody started making commercials of themselves

instead of playing gigs and making records.

But what do I know?

You know a lot.

Come on, Pop. Show 'em how it's done.

I can't seem to shake it yet Feeling that

Things may never change

It always breaks my heart

When broken parts

Ache to heal again

So I will write it--

Hey, man, this click track is getting on my nerves, man.

I can hardly hear myself sing.

Okay, we can lower that for you.

So I will write it down

And make jagged edges

Into something I can hold

Don't wanna find my way

Like dear Hemingway

Okay, that's great.

Let's just try it one more time, Mr. King.

The lyric is actually "lose my way," not "find my way."

The levels in this headset are all jacked up, man.

Yeah, we--

We didn't have all this shit back in the day.

You just found the nearest mic, gave it all you got.

All right? Live band.

Everybody singing, playing together.

Like making real music.

I hear you.

Give me one more.

Don't wanna lose my way--

"Find." Is it "find" or "lose"?

It's "lose."

Fine, okay. All right.

Yeah, it's "lose."

Don't want to find my--

Find my--

Find. Lose. Lose. I don't wanna lose my way.

Don't wanna f--

-Do you wanna just get that piece? -Okay. I got it. I got it.

Don't want to--

Look, it's too many syllables, all right?

Don't wanna find--

Sorry, it's "lose." "Lose my way."

The clock is ticking. I think we should just tell him that we've got it.

I'm not gonna do that. He's smarter than any of us.

Well, it's not completely dishonest.

I can probably use some of what we've got. You barely have any time left.

Don't wanna find my way

Like dear Hemingway

So I won't let go

That was awesome. We got it.

You sounded great.

We didn't get shit.

Music doesn't lie. Come on, now.

Dad, it was so good.

Honestly, I think we got it.

I'm not a fan of bullshit, Bess.

I'm not bullshitting you. Even Jeremy said so.

Then he's bullshitting you.

Don't patronize me. I don't need bullshit. I need another pass!

Stars shining bright above you

Night breezes Seem to whisper "I love you"

Birds singing in the sycamore trees

Dream a little dream of me

Sweet dreams till sunbeams find you

Sweet dreams That leave all worries behind you

But in your dreams, whatever they be

Dream a little dream of me

Dream a little dream of me

That woman in the back?

-Mrs. Finch? -Yeah, she's always alone.

Yep. Daisy Finch. She's all alone in this world.

Let me get you paid.

Why don't I sit you by the window?

Okay.

There we go.

Do you mind if I sit with you?

I'm Bess.

You look very beautiful today.

There, that's much better.

I'm having quite the day today.

How about you?

It's never how we imagine it, huh?

I saw that look in my dad's eyes today.

Haven't seen that look in a very long time.

It scared me.

I work for Vice.

Oh, cool. Their articles have that underground edge.

That was my major at Columbia, underground edge journalism.

I majored in a major I'll never use, so...

This is our third daughter, Bess.

She was in the studio today recording with her father.

They are the next Nat King and Natalie Cole.

-Did you kill it? -Oh, it was great.

-Nice. -Yeah. This looks so yummy.

Bess, this is Sundeep.

He...

He has a vice.

No, Mom, Mom, he writes for Vice.

Well, he may have a vice as well. We don't know.

-I don't know. -What did I say?

Sundeep has always had this questioning nature.

That is why he became a journalist.

Prisha too. They have this questioning nature in common.

Now he is questioning whether arranged marriage is a good idea.

They know we can hear them, right?

Let me tell you an important fact, okay? American marriage does not work.

You can't make such sweeping generalizations, Papa.

I'm not making this up. This is a statistic.

Every 13 seconds, there's a divorce.

I don't understand the American way.

-Too much, too soon. -Yes.

No offense, Bess,

but marriage should be the time you get to know each other.

If you find out everything about someone before you marry,

then there is nothing left to discover

-and it will get boring. -Very boring.

It's like reading the whole book and then buying it.

-Boom! Another divorce. -Boom!

I am never bored with him, and we have been married 30 years.

That's just because Dad's crazy.

Prish.

I honestly think she's right. If you're dating for too long,

then you will just start to see all of the things that are wrong with each other, na?

You just start picking each other apart.

Reema and I met each other for 10 minutes before we got married.

And if we had met for 11 minutes, we wouldn't be married today.

-Boom! -Boom!

Another divorce.

Ladies, come with me.

Hey, Dad, it's me.

Well, I just thought I'd check in.

I guess just call me when you get this?

Love you.

Mommy says to wipe front to back.

Thank you.

He's a writer, you're a musician.

You're both creative types. It's the perfect match.

Now, we will garnish this with rose petals

to open your hearts and bring good luck to this match.

God. Mom, please don't wink.

You know, that Sundeep, he reminds me of myself when I was young.

He's very funny. What do you think, Bess?

He's not not funny.

Exactly. Not not funny. That's good.

And you two have quite a rat-a-tat-tat out there. Very nice.

Prish, he's amazing.

You gotta give it to Mom and Dad. They're good at this.

They're one for one so far.

Yeah, listen to your older sister, Prisha.

I'm proposing to him after lunch.

Boom, another divorce.

You know, we named you Prisha because it means "beloved."

We will not be here forever.

I just don't want you to be alone in this cruel world.

I know.

I just need a little more time, Mama.

Prisha, listen to me. Meet for cappuccino.

Go on the Froyo date

and then follow each other in Instant Snap and send yellow faces.

You take your time. Just don't take too long, that's all. Okay?

-Thank you, Mama. -Okay.

Prish.

It's fine. He's fine.

-A rave review. -No, no, he's cool.

Maybe for me, not for you.

Hey, please don't get in the way of a free lifetime subscription to Vice.

Come on, come on. Naan and rice will get cold.

Let's go.

Go, go.

Take from the middle.

She seems open to him. Thank you for encouraging her.

You see?

She listens to you, just like when you encourage her to try okra.

I hope she listens to me, Mama G.

Boom! Another divorce.

And then you say?

-Thank you for coming. Enjoy the show. -Perfect.

And what do you say to a customer that's cranky and impatient?

Ma'am, the restroom is down the stairs to the right.

But she didn't say she needs to pee.

I could tell. That's why she was cranky.

You're gonna do great, Louie.

I'm so proud of you. Have a great day.

It is a great day. Will you take a picture of me in front of the theater?

Of course.

'Kay, ready?

One, two, three.

Remember, gracious and respectful!

Right. Gracious and respectful, gracious and respectful,

gracious and respectful, gracious and respectful.

Gracious and respectful.

C101 and 2.

Oh, wow, these are lovely seats, really good seats.

Right here. Wonder of wonders, enjoy the show.

You've come a long way for these seats.

And don't feel bad that we have an understudy. She's fabulous.

She toured in Guys and Dolls

and played Cosette in Les Mis at St. Olaf College.

Right this way, ladies.

-I love comedy. Oh, this is so great. -It's my most favorite show of all time.

Hope you're not gonna talk that much during the show.

Okay. So...

The choreographer also choreographed On the Town, West Side Story,

Gypsy, Peter Pan, and the original Fiddler on the Roof, 1964.

The set designer also designed Rock of Ages. What a range.

Excuse me, sir.

You have a very large head,

and my patron who's sitting behind you is very short.

I graciously ask that you move over a seat.

Yeah, well, that's not my seat.

Excuse me, but would you mind moving your patrons one seat over

as this man has a very large head and my patron is very short.

I don't want to move.

You know, you're not really being gracious and respectful.

How about you back off?

Perhaps the reason you're impatient and cranky

is because you need to use the restroom.

It's down the stairs and to the left.

Oh, my God, it's Nicholas Christopher!

Get off!

Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

You played George Washington on Broadway,

then played Aaron Burr on the road for nine months,

and then went back to playing George Washington on Broadway.

Will you sign my Playbill?

-Sure. -Right. It's "To Louie King."

I can't believe I got it.

Oh, honey, don't you cry

The absence of the light

Even the sun must rest his weary eyes

So let the night wrap stars around you

Weigh the anchor And sail into the night's joy

"'But where do you live mostly now?'

'With the lost boys.

You can be king of the lost boys

I'm the captain.'

'What fun it must be.'

'Yes', said cunning Peter, 'but we are rather lonely.

You see, we have no female companionship.'

'Are none of the others girls?'

'Oh, no.'

She was slightly disappointed when he admitted

that he came to the nursery window not to see her but to listen to stories.

You can be king of the lost boys

'You see, I don't know any stories.'

'None of the lost boys know any stories.'

'How perfectly awful,' Wendy said."

Don't you cry, no, honey

Don't you cry In time you will be stronger

Don't you worry 'bout the why Those answers come in time

So leave your heart to wander

Give me a kiss goodbye

And go explore the night

You know the way You can come back anytime

Hey.

Hey. You leaving?

No, no, I'm just getting here.

I mean, I have to go, but I'm here now.

Hey, can I help you?

I'm okay, thank you.

Are you okay?

Yeah, I'm fine.

I just...

I'll see you later.

Come, honey Don't you cry, no, honey

Don't you cry In time you will be stronger

Don't you worry 'bout the why Those answers come in time

So leave your heart to wander

Come now, honey Don't you cry, no, honey

Don't you cry In time you will be stronger

Don't you worry 'bout the why

Those answers come in time

So leave your heart to wander

Come now, honey Don't you cry, no, honey

Don't you cry In time you will be stronger

Don't you worry 'bout the why Those answers come in time

So leave your heart to wander

Leave your heart to wander

Leave your heart to wander

Come, honey Don't you cry, no, honey

Don't you cry In time you will be stronger

Don't you worry 'bout the why Those answers come in time

So leave your heart to wander

Come now, honey Don't you cry, no, honey

Don't you cry In time you will be stronger

Don't you worry 'bout the why Those answers come in time

So leave your heart to wander

Leave your heart to wander

Leave your heart to wander