Original subtitles

- Previously,

- Previously, on "The Real Housewives

of Beverly Hills":

- I would love to be sharing this with someone.

Mike Nilon and I were married almost nine years.

I really thought this was my last stop.

- Amelia started to have panic attacks

and anxiety. The therapist said,

"I don't think it's gonna work out for her right now."

- I'm coming to your retreat. The thing is,

I'm coming after lunch.

- Truthfully, I really don't care

if y'all come or don't come.

- I was like, "Great. I don't have to go."

- I'm gonna be very honest.

I thought that you were gonna be a little boring.

- Do you want Sutton to come or not come?

- Truthfully... - You don't want her there.

- Do me a favor. Just don't come.

[upbeat music]

- Around here,

there's more than just dresses in everyone's closet.

- The secret to life?

Dance like everyone is watching.

- I won't settle for anything less

than everything.

- Life is an audition,

and honey, I am getting that part.

- You never know what to expect

when I'm expecting.

- Break a leg?

Not in these heels, honey.

- My life may not be a fairy tale,

but I'll always get a happy ending.

♪ ♪

[percussive music]

♪ ♪

- I just discovered cold brew,

and I had some today, and I'm high as a kite.

- So where's everybody else?

- Denise and Dorit are coming down later.

- Okay.

- And Rinna's in New York.

Yeah.

I'm happy to be home. - Happy to be home?

- And I get nervous when I am having to work so much

and things like that. - Yes.

- I'm having that same thing right now.

- You are? I have been extremely busy.

I went to New York for fashion week.

- Don't be nervous. - I literally am so nervous.

You have no idea.

Will you try this on for a second, Rinna?

- That's really pretty. - Let's do this, then.

Then I went to North Carolina.

- Have you started shooting yet?

- Just, like, pre-production stuff:

rehearsals, wardrobe.

I went back to New York,

and then I went back to North Carolina.

But now I'm going back Sunday,

so I'm gonna be back to... - Oh, wow.

- Sleeping in the day and up all night.

Obviously, I'd rather be home with my family right now,

but I got up at the crack of dawn

to support Teddi.

Did you text Teddi? - I did.

- Oh, and tell me-- tell me about that.

I'm curious. - You know, I just apologized,

and, um, she took it okay.

She's like, "If you want to come, come."

- "In no way did I ever mean to upset you.

"I'm planning to come to your event

if you'll still have me."

- She's coming.

- So I don't want to bring it up.

I don't want to stress her out.

That's not appropriate,

and I--you know, I-- mm-mm.

I'm gonna be a very good girl.

Yes, ma'am. Nice to see you.

I'm fine. Thank you so much.

[exasperated sigh]

- This is very early to be up doing this.

- We better get good points, friendship points, for this.

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- So schedule for today:

we have this, we go right into lunch...

Then it's open time for everybody.

- Yes. - That's where they can do

their spa treatments, their naps,

their journaling,

their going on a beach walk--

whatever it is they want to do.

I want it to be perfect,

so every detail is timed out.

It starts with morning boxing.

Then we have a healthy lunch.

Then there's a little free time,

mindful meditation, dinner,

but the one thing I'm not tolerating today:

my friends' petty bullsh--.

- What do I see? I see All In by Teddi shirts.

- Oh, good.

- You're nervous? - Mm-hmm.

- It's okay. - Oh, 'cause of Teddi?

- Mm-hmm. both: Don't be.

- Listen... - We're all here--

- We're all here. Yeah, it's okay.

- No! - No, no, no, no.

No, no, no.

No, no, no. - Don't feel nervous.

- No, no, you're fine.

- I know, I know. I-I get the same way.

I feel so bad for Sutton right now.

It's making me think back

to going to Kelsey Grammer's show,

and Camille and I weren't talking.

I can feel the lump in her throat.

You're fine. You're fine.

- There she is. Does she have a clipboard?

[laughs] Oh, no, I'm just kidding.

- Look at it. She's pregnant!

I always think it's so--

how are you?

- Oh, my gosh. Do you guys have--

- Look at this! - Here you go!

- Hi! - How are you?

How are you? - Thanks for coming.

You look so cute. - Oh, thank you.

- Would I rather be nice to Sutton,

or have Sutton ruin my retreat

that people are paying to be a part of?

Oh, that's right. Be nice to Sutton.

I'll see you guys in a second.

- Where are we going?

- We're just gonna put stuff down

in my room real quick before we go work out.

[dramatic rock music]

- All right, ladies. Here we go!

All right, now watch. Here.

One, two, front knee.

One, two, front knee.

Go!

♪ ♪

- Oh. - Switch!

- Okay. - Go.

- Oh, ow. Okay.

- You got it. - Yeah.

[light music]

These gloves are hot.

- Switch! - I'm already sweating

because I am a weakling.

- Switch! Last drill.

- Do I just stay here?

♪ ♪

all: Three, two, one!

- We did it! - Whoo!

- You did it.

You were so good. - Thank you.

Oh, my God, thank you for doing this.

I can't thank you enough.

Are we done?

[light percussive music]

- Checking in. How you doing?

- Good. - Good?

A'ight, where's this table going during the off-time?

- Spa. - Spa?

What kind of treatments? - Massage.

- I like potato chips and French fries.

- I just like food. - I like--I like bread

and pasta. - I like the food.

[percussive music]

♪ ♪

- Hello!

- Hello, woman of the hour. - Thank you so much for coming.

I know how hard it is to leave the kids,

and, like, I really, really appreciate it.

Thank you so much. - I am so happy

to be here, honey.

- I knew ahead of time

not to have any expectations

when it comes to Dorit's arrival.

I have been sitting here for over 30 minutes.

- I thought we had between 4:30 and 5:30.

- You think I was expecting Dorit to be on time?

No!

- Hi, guys! - Hi, how are you?

- Hi, everyone.

Hello.

- I like your workout ponytail.

- Thank you!

♪ ♪

I'm gonna go up and get food. - How are you?

Sorry I'm sweaty.

- Oh, no.

- It's buffet style, if you're hungry.

- Oh, no! [laughs]

- I knew that Dorit was coming late,

but clearly, she's been at glam for hours.

- Did you guys box?

- Oh, yes. - How was it?

- It was good. - Why didn't you box?

- I wasn't here.

- I know. Why weren't you?

[laughter] - Let me back up.

She just made a... - I was coming late.

- I mean, is glam the reason

that she had to come late today?

Really?

- And little announcement, guys:

1:00 to 4:00 is free time today,

and then we have mindful meditation,

and, yeah, have fun.

- Should we go? - Yes.

- Let's go.

- Oh, my gosh.

♪ ♪

- Okay, we get to have a massage out here?

- Yeah. - All right.

- We should call Garcelle.

- Garcelle's not coming.

By the way, she said she appreciated

you saying, "You don't want to come, don't come."

She's like, "That, to me, was like, 'Yay, perfect,'

I don't feel bad, then."

- When I do invites,

I've always just kind of been like that,

because I don't want to put pressure

or expectation on somebody.

- Well, we were talking about this the other night.

It was more about, "You're invited,

but if you don't want to come, don't come,"

'cause then they feel like, "Well, does she

really want me there?" type of thing.

- She said, "You know, truthfully,

"like, at the dinner,

I don't really want you guys there."

- She never said "I don't want you to come."

- You weren't there, Kyle.

- You didn't say "I don't want you to come,"

right?

- If it rubbed anyone the wrong way,

I was on the defense that night

because I'd just gotten out of the car with Rinna,

and she was like...

- What if someone comes

and causes sh--?

- If somebody has a problem with me,

they shouldn't come.

- What if they do and they're coming?

- Does someone have a problem with me?

- I don't know. I just--

- Rinna, what are you-- - I don't know!

- It put me on the defense,

whereas beforehand, when I texted you guys,

I had not a worry in the world.

That car ride shifted everything for me.

- See, I didn't know that. - Yeah, and I was just, like--

- It kind of makes a little bit more sense

why you would say it.

- And I was telling Erika, "If I come to your concert,

"and the whole time, I'm saying to your concert,

"'You know, Erika, I'm just here to support you,

"That's the only reason I'm here,'

"Obviously, I'm here to support Erika,

but I don't need to tell her that."

- Um, you lost me there.

Who said "I'm only coming just to support you"?

- You did, actually, at the--at Sutton's.

- I want to go simply to support you.

Obviously, I'm-- - But no, no.

I'm gonna tell you guys.

- She doesn't want to do the experience,

just support.

- To me, it felt like a job,

and I was like, "I don't want you

to have to do something you don't want to do."

- If someone's going to support you

and they're saying that they want to support you,

clearly, it's not a job. It's a pleasure.

Why the (BLEEP) am I here?

I would much rather be home with my kids.

What time is dinner?

- The sunset meditation is at 5:00,

and then dinner's right after that.

The meditation's, like, an hour, an hour and a half.

- Oh, no.

- I don't think I can meditate for an hour and a half.

- Dorit's like, "I can't work out,

and I can't meditate."

[laughter]

- I'd rather have to go to the DMV

every day for a month

than sit in an hour-long meditation.

- Wait, where are you bitches going?

- We're going to the bar.

- Kyle, bar!

[low percussive music]

♪ ♪

- Cheers, ladies. all: Cheers.

- Cheers, Teddi,

even though you're not drinking.

- I know. - It's a mocktail.

Cheers. - It's a mocktail.

- Chips, salsa, and guacamole

that I can bring out really quick?

- Yes, thank you.

- Oh, Denise said

that her car is arriving at 4:00.

She'll be there in time for dinner.

- What you've done-- this is crazy impressive.

- Thank you.

- I just-- I'm really sorry.

[tense music]

- It was too big of a reaction

for what was ha--was said,

but it just, like, hit a nerve,

and I overreacted.

You th--I mean-- - Well, I misspoke,

and I'm sorry. - No, it's okay.

- It's all good. - Yeah.

- To be fair, maybe just say, "I'd love to be there."

- I did say that, a million times!

That's what I'm trying to say.

- I know, but she's saying the support thing.

- I'm here to support Teddi,

and then she says I'm disingenuous,

and it brings me right back to that Teddi

that was scheming against me last year...

It wasn't actually your conscience

and thought, "I don't want to do this to Dorit."

It was, "I don't want to be the only one

to do this to Dorit."

And really makes me question,

which Teddi am I actually dealing with?

- What? You need to leave early?

♪ ♪

- Coming up:

- I did not buy into this retreat!

- Then you can leave! - But you said--

Kyle, I have a ----ing life!

- I'm gonna go, um,

- I'm gonna go, um, check to make sure

all the setup is done, and... - Okay.

- What? You need to leave early?

- If I left, she would not even feel my absence.

- No, that's not true! - I don't know.

- Let's go. - We're leaving.

♪ ♪

Pull all the girls that came with me,

my friends.

- Kyle, this is my point.

You were actually questioning if she's gonna be mad

when she said now, how many times

that she doesn't care, do what you want?

and you are the closest to her!

- Maybe move Carrie.

we can just move this row up.

Is that cool?

- Yes. - Thank.

Perfect.

- When I said I'd been made to feel uncomfortable

and I might want to leave a little early

and not intended to know that I'm not wanted anyway--

- You can leave early! - You just said--

- I did not buy into this retreat.

I came to be with Teddi.

[gentle music]

- Welcome

to sunset meditation and relaxation.

So inhale,

bringing the chin to the chest.

Now, lifting the hands over the top of the head,

straight up,

exhale, coming down,

bringing the hands beside the hips.

That's it. Just be here

for this time you've gifted yourself.

The whole purpose of this practice

is to subside the thoughts that we have.

- I'm trying to be respectful...

- You guys think that we-- - And don't want

to hurt anyone's feelings.

I was up since 5:00 a.m.

- I've been up since 4:00, honey.

- To do what? - She doesn't sleep.

You know she's an insomniac.

- No, but you can leave.

- Kyle, I have a ----ing life.

I have a ----ing life.

I did not wake up to come straight here.

- Oh, I don't? I don't?

I mean, honestly, after everything

that Dorit and Teddi went through,

I thought that they were really making an effort,

so showing up late

because you have to have your hair and makeup done

is not really the way to repair a friendship.

It's shallow and selfish.

Clearly, you had time to sit in the glam chair.

Like, you got ready, so...

We're ----ing getting up at 5:00

to sit in the ----ing car.

- If you do feel any tension throughout your body,

breathe into that area

and let yourself sink a little deeper

into the floor.

- Why is this a competition?

What is the ma-- - It's not, but I'm saying--

- You're saying I have no life.

We also have lives, too.

You don't think that's rude?

When I'm ----ing shooting a movie

and doing a clothing line

and ----ing [indistinct]

- ...Negative towards you, Kyle.

- I'm not, like, twiddling my thumbs.

- Is that a minibar?

- That was not a slight towards you.

That was an explanation of why I--

- Okay, but don't expect me to not retaliate

if you say I have a ----ing life outside of this.

I understand where Kyle's coming from.

It's inconsiderate.

Listen, was I late in Berlin for the boat

because of glam? Yes, I was.

- It's 5:40. - The boat takes off at 6:00.

- We're not gonna make that, you guys.

- Oh!

- It was all ----ed up,

but I'm here now. I apologize.

And guess what. I apologized,

and I was wrong for that.

I was also trying to look good.

- Cool, great.

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- Hi!

- Of course. No, you guys.

You made this the best. - You're amazing.

- Oh, thank you guys. - I appreciate it.

♪ ♪

- Food's available over there if you guys are hungry.

I don't know if you guys already ate over there.

- Oh, fajitas night. That's right.

- Yeah!

- Oh, my God. Do we want a fajita?

- I mean, let me look at Teddi's first,

and then decide. - I know.

We've, like, literally nonstop eating,

but that looks good, too.

- It's good. - Get a little bit?

- Yes. - Okay, we'll get a little bit.

- It's yummy. - Oh, what is wrong with me?

I've eaten all fricking day. - What is wrong with me?

- Come on, we're eating.

♪ ♪

- Hi, girls. - Ah!

She made it!

- Hi! - Wow.

- Oh, I'm so sorry. - Oh, my gosh.

No, I was like-- - I had to work earlier.

- When I found out, I'm like,

"She's leaving at 4:00?

No!" I felt so bad.

- Took you, like, 2 1/2 hours?

- I don't even know. I was, like, on the phone,

answering emails.

- Did you have a good time?

♪ ♪

- These are tough subjects.

I would definitely not broach that.

- All right, all right.

- [sighs]

I don't even know where to begin.

So it's a lot. - Um, Kyle was like,

"Why weren't you here earlier?"

- You came late, but you had time to do glam.

- Oh, God. Maybe I shouldn't have asked.

- PK's away. I'm with my kids.

I brought them to school.

I didn't want to sit in traffic

after they get out of school

when I can get other things done

and be here in the exact same time.

I came here. I've had lunch.

I've had massage.

[laughter] I've had ----ing snacks.

- That is so generous of you.

- I sat in the bar for six hours.

- "I ate, and I had a massage."

"By the way, Kyle,

"I had to get my hair done,

"get my makeup done,

"find a workout outfit

"that I'm not actually gonna work out in,

"drive all the way to Teddi's retreat,

because I have a life, Kyle! Okay?"

- I got ready in less time than you got ready today,

so don't even try. - I don't think so.

I literally-- - Do not try

to suggest, Kyle... - I put mascara on

in the car ride over here. - And make me look bad.

- I'm not trying to make you look--

- No, you are! - I'm not!

- You are. - I am not.

- I am taking offense to it now.

This isn't even your event,

and Teddi doesn't even have a problem with it.

Why are you attacking me?

You're making me look like I am a selfish diva.

♪ ♪

- Ugh.

- This is very nice-- you did this,

and that you invited your dysfunctional family.

- Thank you. [laughter]

- I'm so tired. - I'm ready to go.

- Coming up:

- I just, like, start shaking,

and I start freaking out. I've thrown up before.

I want to get evaluated.

[percussive music]

- What is this juice place we're going to?

- Um, this place.

- Hello.

- Hi. - How are you?

- I need energy so badly.

I'm gonna have the maca fuel, please.

- Okay. - Okay, I'll do

the turmeric shot, and we'll do

a yummier juice.

So we have both of these.

I feel like I need some sugar in my life.

- The cookies are really good.

- The peanut butter one looks dank.

- I'm gonna-- let's get a peanut butter one.

[terminal chimes] - Here you go.

- Thank you. Should we sit outside?

- Yeah. - I like this place.

- Do you have any hand sanitizer

in your little pouch? - Um, you know,

I don't have any,

um, 'cause I didn't bring my regular purse.

- Here's your juice... - Thank you so much.

- And your shot and your maca fuel.

Enjoy. Thank you!

- Cheers.

- I'm going to figure out my anxiety next week.

- Meaning? - It's like--

it's just, like, pretty bad,

and I don't know. I want to get evaluated.

- Listen. A year ago,

Amelia was going through body dysmorphia issues.

You guys have to eat a little bit for Dad.

- No, I'm just not hungry.

I'm allergic to everything.

No matter how many deaths anorexia causes,

all I cared about was the skinniness.

I could've died.

- Amelia's come a long way,

but when I was in New York,

after Kyle's fashion show,

I was able to spend some time with Amelia,

and in spending time with her,

I could see she was in trouble.

- When I'm in situations I don't want to be in,

or that I'm afraid of,

all of my decision-making tactics

in my brain shut down,

and I just, like, start shaking,

and I start freaking out.

I've thrown up before.

- I can't imagine if you were still in New York,

to be honest with you.

- I really can't either,

and I'm just so much happier here.

- I think what was at stake for Amelia

if she stayed in New York was her life.

Would she become suicidal?

Would she make a bad choice

in a split second

because of depression?

You do not (BLEEP) around with that

when you have a teenager.

I don't think you were ready to be there.

I don't think you were ready...

- Look, I can do my own laundry,

and I can vacuum my floor, and I can make my bed

and all that,

but to be 3,000 miles away and also do it...

No, like... - I couldn't do it.

Remember? I didn't even end up

going to school.

You lasted longer than I did.

Here's what happened at Emerson.

I got in, and five days in,

I was so homesick I thought I would die.

- And to be 3,000 miles away,

I couldn't just drive to you guys

and be like, "Hey, I miss you." - I know.

I didn't even walk on campus.

I came home.

I went to University of Oregon after that,

but I couldn't make it past three months

at University of Oregon.

I failed.

I didn't do it.

Oh, yeah, I was ----ed up for a while from that.

Take me through exactly what you've done

up to this point.

- I have all my math requirements

to transfer into USC,

but this is so that if I get in,

then I won't have to take another math class.

I'll have my math credits for college.

- Good, 'cause I'm not gonna put you

on a rowing machine

and take a picture of you and say that--

- That was the wrong thing to say.

I'm trying to get into USC here.

I'm like, "Let's not. Let's just, like..."

- Joking. I would never, ever do that.

I wouldn't. Amelia not staying in New York

I think is just a bump in the road.

The plan is to get her back in school,

but before we do that,

we've got to get her anxiety under control,

and that's gonna take a lot of work.

Oh, there's paparazzi. (BLEEP)

Um, then that's what we'll do.

- Why didn't I bring my glasses?

- It's all right. There's paparazzi there.

There's paparazzi there.

Hi!

- I just would like my sunglasses.

- They're everywhere. We're so Hollywood.

"Oh, my God, there's the paparazzi.

Where are my glasses?"

Hi!

- You are a handful.

- I am a handful, aren't I?

[dance music]

♪ ♪

- What you got going on here?

- I was making you a tequila.

- Oh, that's nice. Thank you.

- You're welcome. Do you want a single

or a double? You might want a double

after everything I have to tell you.

- Oh, you read my mind. - I'm sorry.

It's been a day.

Cheers.

- What you got cooking? - [laughs] Happy Friday.

Well, it's been crazy. These fires.

I didn't realize, like,

it's brought on, like, post-traumatic stress

from the last year.

I woke up to news that there is a fire

30 miles away,

and the fires move quickly here.

The smoke is coming through. I'm getting a little nervous.

It's a reminder of what happened

almost a year ago.

I don't think we're gonna be

living back here very soon.

Oh, our beautiful community.

Ugh, the smell is so bad. - I can smell it.

Look at all this soot.

- The wind blew all this sh-- over,

so I'm gonna have to clean all this.

- Yeah, it was super windy. - It was so windy today.

I am so over living in Malibu.

I don't--I cannot go through another fire.

We came back to Malibu

because the kids go to school here,

and I don't want to move their schools.

So even though I don't want to really live here right now,

I'm doing it for my kids.

See, this is nice now.

There's not wind, so I think we're good.

I think the pizza oven's gonna be there,

and then we'll do the buffet here,

and then the bar,

and I'll put the kids over here

so that they have privacy

and they feel like they can talk without us hearing.

- Do the ladies know not to wear, you know, heels?

- I told them grass-appropriate shoes.

- Perfect.

- Saturday night,

Aaron and I want to have everyone over.

- Okay. - We want to have

wood-fired pizzas.

It's outside. There's grass,

so no pointy-ass heels.

- Oh, it's grass!

- Instead of the desserts they recommended,

I asked for a sundae bar.

- I love it. - Right?

And we're gonna do every topping.

She sent it. It looks really good.

We're not having your typical, you know,

Beverly Hills dinner party.

- This is a wild porcini cappuccino...

- Oh!

- Oh. - Delicious.

- We don't want dessert

that people couldn't pronounce,

so we're like, "(BLEEP) it.

We're gonna have a ----ing goddamn sundae bar."

- When are people showing up?

Tomorrow? What time?

- Well, it starts at 5:30.

I'm very excited they're all coming.

- Yeah. - This is our first time

all of the women together since Kyle's dinner.

I know that a few of them are upset

that Dorit showed up late at Teddi's--

you know, her retreat.

- Who cares? Does it matter?

I don't know. I'm just--I'm curious.

- So anyhoo, this could be what the issue is

at our lovely pizza and ice cream dinner.

- So do you think this is gonna be, like,

a food fight thing going on, or...

- Yeah, I don't know.

At this rate, I kind of hope so,

'cause at least they'll resolve this sh--.

- Coming up:

- You did a lesbian thing?

- I just made out with a girl.

- I was with a couple.

- What is the difference?

- There is a penis and two vaginas.

[heavy dance music]

- All right, let's do this.

Who's hungry? - Me!

- Ready? - Yeah.

♪ ♪

- All right.

Who's gonna open the door for the lady?

- Which--this door? - [laughs] Yeah, that door.

The door you go into.

Thank you. Hi.

How are you? - Good.

- Dinner for three.

- Follow me. - Awesome.

Thank you so much.

[light music]

Thank you so much.

- No problem. Would you like some waters

to start you off? - Yes, please.

- Do you want me to put anything in for you,

or not quite yet? - Yeah, no,

why don't we go ahead and do that?

They have to get home and do homework.

- Um, can I get the Italian pizza, please?

- Italian pizza.

- Um, I'm gonna do the short ribs.

Is that good? - Yeah.

- I'll just have a cheese pizza.

- Cheese pizza. - Can I also get

a thing of Coke, please?

- Coke. - Coke?

Jax...

- Mom...

- Is that okay? - That's fine.

- Sounds good. - Yeah, it's fine.

- The custody arrangement between me and my ex

is that we have the boys 50/50.

We got invited to the "Spider-Man" premiere.

- Oh, cool. Is that this week?

- It's tomorrow,

and I know you get 'em back tonight.

- No, that's fine.

- You sure? - Of course.

- Coming from where we came from,

being divorced, and it was so devastating,

I'm shocked that we're co-parenting

as well as we are.

Your dad wants you to call him.

[line trilling]

- Hello!

- Hello.

- Are you on top of everything this week?

- Mm-hmm. - Hey.

Babe, we just want you to do well.

- I am.

- Mike and I are on the same page,

but if you ask my kids,

I am strict.

You're gonna help set the table.

You gotta do the dishes. You know, sweatshop stuff.

[laughs]

Oh, my God, please don't drink that whole thing.

Thank you. - Can I have some?

- [laughs] No. - Pour your brother some.

That way, you don't have to drink it all.

I'm okay with being strict.

I grew up with a strict family.

I was scared to break the rules as a kid,

because you would-- you know.

It's a black mama.

They're not playing.

Are you excited about the new house?

- Yeah. I don't have to share a room

with this...

- With your nice brother? - With my nice brother.

- That's not what you were gonna say.

[laughs]

- Are you gonna decorate your room?

- Oh, yeah.

- The boys-- they're excited.

- They're excited.

- They're getting their own room.

'Cause they've been sleeping in bunk beds.

Big deal. I mean, I grew up in Haiti.

If I was a little girl living in this new house,

I would look around and say,

"How many people are living here?

I can't imagine it's just one family living here."

You would have cousins and uncles

and aunts and grandparents.

- I'll have my little area

with my beanbag

and my, uh, monitors.

- To provide something like this for my boys

on my own-- it's a great feeling,

but it's also important for them to know

that you're lucky you get the things you have,

but you also have to earn them.

So do you guys

have anything you want to talk about,

any--anything that you would like to be different?

- Yeah.

You know what I want to be different?

[awkward music]

- What? - Yeah.

- You want Gucci. - Yeah.

- You need to get a job.

- We are 11.

- Yeah, okay, exactly.

So you don't need a Gucci if you can't have a job.

- Like, you have Gucci flip-flops.

- I'm a grown-up. I work for my stuff.

- I saw them in your closet. - You're not getting

Gucci anything.

That's obnoxious.

Ooh, yay.

- Ooh, delicious. - I am starving.

- Thank you. - Uh, who's gonna say

the prayers? We shouldn't even--uh, hello.

- Dear Lord, thank you for this food

we are about to receive

to nourish and strengthen our bodies,

thank you for this beautiful day,

and thank you for bringing us all together as a family.

Amen. - Amen.

Bon appétit. - Bon appetet.

- No one says "bon appetet."

- We do.

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- Oh, this looks so pretty! - It does look pretty.

- It's coming together, right? - It is.

We'll make it happen.

- I hope. I still have to get ready.

- We have plenty of time. You have, like, ten minutes.

- Oh, this looks so nice.

They did an amazing job. I love that.

- Oh, wow. That is something else.

- It looks good. It's big.

I think it'll look pretty.

Don't you think this is a nice touch

with our pizza party?

You always have to have a little sparkle,

even if it's casual.

♪ ♪

- What time are we leaving?

- We should be leaving soon!

It's a little tiny bit uncomfortable.

- Why? - Dorit and I are having

a little bit of an issue right now.

- You are? - Yeah.

And we went to Teddi's retreat thing.

Dorit showed up at, like, 1:00,

so she missed the whole workout and everything,

but she shows up like--

she had, like, a workout glam...

[dog whimpers] And I said something like--

oh, honey, are you listening to me,

or are you watching the dog?

- I was just getting distracted

'cause the dog's doing funny stuff down there.

- Well, don't, 'cause I'm already stressed to go there.

It just became a thing.

But then later, at the table,

she said something like,

"Well, why don't you just stay here?

"You can sleep with Teddi. You like--

you guys like to sleep together,"

or something like that.

- Honey, you sleep in the same bed

together all the time.

- I love you more than anything.

- [indistinct]

- Why do you say that? I love you so much.

We're sisters. - [indistinct]

- I don't know if she is jealous

of my friendship with Teddi, but bringing up

that she stayed in my bed one night?

That is really grasping at straws.

That's all you got, Dorit?

But I haven't seen her since then,

so it's probably coming up tonight.

[percussive music]

- So Jaggy, I'm gonna go to my friend's house.

My friend Garcelle's gonna be here any minute,

and I'll be back later.

- Mama, do you have to?

- I don't have to, but I did commit to it already.

- I know, baby. I know.

Having my children cry and beg me to stay--

that alone creates this worry.

Oh, my God, am I the worst mother in the world?

If you want, you can sleep in Mommy's bed tonight.

Okay? 'Cause Daddy's

not even home yet.

And then, when PK's out of town,

it's just me.

I'm not even there for them if they need me.

This is what I meant, Kyle, when I said I had a life.

Let me just check the time, bubba-lish.

♪ ♪

- Okay, so tonight, the husbands that are coming--

well, there's Aaron, of course.

- Right, and Edwin. - Edwin.

- Well, PK's in London.

- See, I feel weird I haven't spoken to Dorit.

Like, she could've ridden with us.

♪ ♪

- This is the way to Kyle's house.

Are we picking up Kyle? - It's a great neighborhood.

[both laugh] Yeah, are we?

When was the last time you saw Kyle,

as a matter of fact? - Last time I saw Kyle

was at the retreat.

I haven't spoken to her, which is a little odd.

- [gasps] Oh!

- I'm gonna call Edwin and Teddy

and see if they're on their way.

- Try Dorit.

- I can't call Dorit right now. - Joking.

- [sighs]

- Coming up:

- Apparently I'm a lesbian.

- I need to call you up on that.

- Let's talk about it. Let's talk about it.

- Let's talk about it, baby. - Let's talk about it.

- Bring it on.

[light percussive music]

- Is this the right house?

- I don't know.

- It's the backyard? - Yeah.

It's definitely set up for a party.

- Wow, this is so pretty.

- I guess we're the first ones here.

- Where is everybody?

What time is it?

- 5:35.

- I know. Sorry.

- I think that we're early or something.

- We must be super early.

- All right, I'll go change really quick,

and then I'll go outside.

- That a diamond? [laughs]

That's so fancy.

- It's beautiful.

- A diamond ice sculpture?

This is, like...

- There's a theme?

- I'm confused.

This is not the Denise that I know.

New house, who dis?

- Where's Eloise? - You look so pretty, Mom.

- I do? Thank you.

- Yeah, you look really good. - Thank you.

- Hello! - How's it going?

- Hello! - It's going good.

How are you, Mauricio? - Hi, ladies.

- How are you, Rinna? - Hi!

Oh, how are you? - So good to see you.

- You'll like this.

Hibiscus tea and something

with, like... - Okay.

all: Cheers!

- Cheers, cheers.

- We didn't know if we were at the right house.

- Where is she? Where are they?

Denise Richards is

the biggest flake on the planet.

- I thought it was supposed to start at 2:00.

- Maybe she's not left home yet.

- We have to hurry before everyone leaves.

- No, I sit there.

- When's it happening?

- There he is. - Oh, my God, do you need help?

- Hi! - No, I'm good.

- Your house is so cute. I love it.

- Thank you.

Good to see you. You all right?

- How are you? - How cute is this place?

I'm good. I'm good.

- Welcome. - Thank you for having me.

- You're welcome. - This is so cute.

- Yeah, thank you. - I love it.

- Look at you. Nautical vibe.

- I know. I'm doing nautical.

- Nautical vibes. How are you?

- I'm good. How are you?

- Hi, guys!

How are you? - Hi!

- Hi. How's it going? Nice to see you.

- Good. How are you?

- I'm good. - What's going on, brother?

♪ ♪

- What is your drink of choice?

- You know, I do like tequila,

but I also like champagne.

- Is Aaron outside? Okay, good.

- So you like champagne.

- Oh, my God. Look at you girls.

- Hi! - Hi!

- This is your jeans outfit? - [laughs]

- Hi. How are you?

You guys look so beautiful.

- Hi, baby. - There's Dorit.

- She's so cute. - Hi, girls.

- Hi!

- Hi, everyone! - Hi, how are you?

Hi, baby. - Hi!

- Hello. - Honey, how are you?

- Oh, you have a little--

oh, is that supposed to be like that?

- Yeah. - Oh, I'm sorry.

Sorry, I was about to rush to push it out of the way.

Sorry.

I feel a little anxious to see Dorit,

because we haven't resolved anything,

so I know a conversation has to happen.

- Hi, hi! - Teddi, how are you?

- How's it going?

- I've heard everyone's side of the story.

- Oh, see, it's like a thing now.

It's a ----ing thing. - Yeah, oh, yeah.

- Kyle and Dorit had a thing

about Dorit being late,

and Dorit said something like,

"Well, I have a life."

- I was in New York City,

and I was seeing the photos.

- It was a whole photo shoot...

- There was, like, a photo shoot.

- Of...

[light music]

- What is she doing?

- You feeling me? - What is happening?

- If she really, genuinely

just had to take her kids to school,

and then be late, fine,

but what I've seen on your Instagram was...

You had a full photo shoot with glam

posing in your living room

for I don't know how many hours.

I mean, hello, I have a life.

Oh, your daughters are here.

Hi, honey. How are you?

- Girls, say hello to everyone. - Nice to see you.

- Hi, girls. - Hi.

- Hi, Lola. How are you, baby?

- All such cute names.

- Let me go see where the food is.

♪ ♪

Okay, food's coming out. - Is it time?

Okay, great. - Is that delicious?

I'm really jealous of that pink whatever's in there.

- Why is there so many diamonds everywhere?

[both laugh]

♪ ♪

- All right, grab a plate. Get your food.

- Oh, come on, gang. - Yay!

- Ooh, what are the different kinds?

- Short rib, chicken pesto,

buffalo mozzarella, or margherita.

- I cut the line. - Oh, shocker!

Um...

- No, we gotta talk about it, because I think she--

- Huh? - Give me the inside situation.

- No, she feels like she doesn't understand

why you're so mad at her.

- I wasn't late. There was no itinerary.

- Right. - So I really want

to understand why she was so upset that day.

- Oh, 'cause you got-- she got to you.

[both laugh] I see what's happening here.

- I would like to make a speech

and thank all of you for coming here,

and my wonderful kids over there.

- Aww. - Uh, it means a lot to us

that you guys came out here.

We love you,

and we're all so happy that you're here,

so thank you.

- So exciting. Congratulations.

- Thank you. We're very excited.

Thank you. - So you guys are married

over a year now.

- Yes, and he's let himself go.

- You know what? It happens.

It happens.

- You guys had a busy first year.

- Right? - But he really didn't

let himself go. - She's joking.

- Honey, I'm joking. - Oh, I'm like--

- He still has a big penis and big muscles,

so it's all good.

[laughter]

- You know, I haven't seen you with--

- Anyone since my ex-husband.

- My husband knows some good men.

- Oh, my gosh, yes! Mauricio, Moe,

hook a sister up. - Yes.

- What's your type? I like dark skin.

I like dark skin and an accent.

- Is that why you and Teddi are so close?

Because her husband

has an accent.

- This is a really big stretch.

The fact that Edwin's Hispanic--

another reason that Kyle and I have joined forces

to go against her?

Keep reaching. Reach.

- Teddi's not my type normally.

I've never done the lesbian thing.

- I haven't either. Like--

- When I was modeling, when I was modeling.

- You did do a lesbian thing?

- Yeah. I just made out with a girl.

When you're young and you're modeling,

and you're free, I think things happen.

I kissed a girl, and I liked it.

- Oh, my God. I wish my kids weren't here.

- Uh, I was with a couple.

- [gasps]

- You dated a couple? - You dated a couple?

For how long?

♪ ♪

- I had dated someone that had married

someone I knew,

so when they became a couple,

we went out on a date,

and I could just kind of tell

where everything was going.

You know, I could tell that they were into it,

and you know what? Fine.

Hey, so was I.

- Wait a minute. Hold on.

So did you have both of them separately?

- No, no, no. I've never been with a girl.

I've only been with a couple.

- What is the difference?

- There is a penis and two vaginas.

- [laughs]

- I know! - See, thank you for...

- Oh, my God.

I gotta get my kids out of here.

- Why are these women clutching the pearls?

- Oh, my God.

- This is my favorite kind of conversation.

- These sluts? Like, come on.

- I had a threesome long time ago.

- Tell me more, Garcelle.

- It's just--Garcelle.

- It's just you and I. - It's just us.

Tell me more.

- I'm done. I am so done

at this table.

My lips are sealed.

It's only between me and her-- and her.

Have you been with a girl? - No!

- I never had a threesome, either.

- Rinna, come on. - Swear to God.

- I'm shocked, 'cause you're like sex on a stick.

- I know. No girls touched

this hoo-hoo, ever.

- There might be some conversation

that's very adult...

- Yeah, so it's fine. - It's fine.

- I'm a very open, sexual person.

Aaron had never had a happy ending,

and we were on the hunt.

- For one? You wanted one?

- No, I wanted him to have one.

But that doesn't mean that I want my kids

hearing this kind of stuff.

- I've never done a girl thing.

- When you choose to share a bed

when you've got a ----ing suite--I don't know.

[tense music]

♪ ♪

I need to call you up on that. - Let's talk about it.

Let's talk about it. - Let's talk about it, baby.

- Let's talk about it.

Bring it on.

Apparently, I'm a lesbian.

♪ ♪

- Coming up:

- I would defend all my girlfriends.

- Well, not always.

♪ ♪

- (BLEEP) you.

- Let's talk about it.

- Let's talk about it. - Let's talk about it, baby.

- Let's talk about it. Bring it on.

Apparently, I'm a lesbian.

- No, that's ridiculous,

but the friendship that you guys have--

I feel like it's a reigning pattern

where whenever I say anything about you and Teddi,

or if I've said something that Teddi says,

you immediately get, like, this blind defensiveness.

Kyle and Teddi are a package deal,

so you know if you're having any issue with one,

you're gonna have to deal with two people.

When things aren't a big deal,

I don't say it.

- Well, I-I-- - It registered for her,

which is what made her go--

- Are you her mouthpiece?

But he didn't mean it that way.

- But you know how it hurt my feelings.

- Then he goes, "But we're good."

- I'm not talking about that right now.

- No, but you're the heart of the whole situation.

- Do me a favor. Let me have a conversation

with Kyle for two seconds.

Which makes being friends with both of them

extremely frustrating.

And you're mad at me

for turning up to Teddi's event later

when she's not even mad!

- We all got up at, like, 5:00 in the morning.

Okay, let's be honest.

And then, all of a sudden, it's like,

you walk in at 1:00...

- But you knew she was coming late.

- Hold on. Hold on.

Hold on. So it's not just

coming in at 1:00.

It's coming in in your Barbie glam look...

♪ ♪

- Oh, those are fighting words.

- For a workout

when you're not even working out.

- Firstly, thank you for the compliment,

and what the (BLEEP) do you care?

- If you're gonna come and support a friend,

just ----ing come and support her,

but don't come in your fake workout clothes

with your posing on Instagram, saying, "Workout Barbie glam,"

but you're not coming for the ----ing workout.

It's ----ing weird!

- But why are you judging her?

[all talking at once] - You're judging her, Kyle.

- No, I'm just say-- because it's not genuine.

- So she looks like a ----ing model.

Who cares?

- Denise. - Kyle.

- You're just being a bit mean right now.

- You don't think being mean,

saying that I slept-- Teddi slept in my bed is mean?

Like, hello. - But that's actually true.

- Can we just wait until these ----ing kids

get through? - Oh, yes, of course.

- Okay, wait. - Shh, I'm so sorry.

I don't mean to be an asshole...

- All right, fine, we can ----ing whisper.

I'm gonna get up and get ice cream, then,

when they're done.

♪ ♪

[exasperated sigh]

- Teddi. Teddi.

- I mean, "ragamuffin" is not the nicest word,

but I could've said worse.

- I feel like Dorit is irritated

because she thinks that you blindly rush

to Teddi's defense in our group.

- Thank you. You guys

come as a package deal.

I don't think you would blindly defend

anyone in the group like you have Teddi.

- I defend you all the ----ing time.

I lost one of my closest friends

defending you.

I will defend what's right.

Okay? I can't sit there

and say, "I do not believe Lisa did this."

- You think I would give a story to "Radar Online"...

- Yes. - About Dorit?

- Yes. - Bye, Kyle.

Show yourself out, darling.

- Talk about selective memory.

I would defend all my girlfriends,

because I'm not friends with assholes.

I would defend Rinna.

- Well, not always.

♪ ♪

- Well, when wouldn't I?

- When it's your sister.

- A sober person doesn't act like that.

- That's not true. Just don't make up stories

and spread bad rumors.

Really, Rinna?

- Well... - You're gonna go that deep?

- Well, no, but I mean...

- Okay, I see what you're doing now.

- No, but Kyle-- - It's fine.

- I'm just pointing out the truth.

You can't make that statement.

If it's your sister, you wouldn't.

- By the way, I even still did that,

even though it cost me a relationship with my sister,

so (BLEEP) you.

♪ ♪

So (BLEEP) off.

- Wait, don't tell her to (BLEEP) off, Kyle.

That's not nice. - Denise, leave me alone.

- Leave you alone?

All I said was "don't tell her to (BLEEP) off."

It's my house, but sure, I'll shut the (BLEEP) up.

- I'm not doing this. I'm not.

♪ ♪

- Next time

on "The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills":

- Leave me alone. I'm done with this.

I'm just gonna go home.

- That's wrong. - Goodbye.

- (BLEEP)

- Oh, there it is. There it is.

That's what I was waiting for.

- Yeah. [laughs]

- So what did you hear with me and my friends?

- We heard you guys arguing about threesomes.

- I apologize, you know,

'cause I have, like, the nastiest mouth ever.

I mean, I thought it was at wild thing's house.

Maybe not.

- Finally, something to give clarity,

and now I gave it to you. - No, you need to be quiet.

Stop. - No, I don't need to be quiet.

- Then I'm not gonna finish talking.

Do you ever let people talk? - Okay, good.

I want you to talk, but not for you to be an asshole.

- I'm not ----ing doing this.

♪ ♪

- To learn more about the housewives,

go to bravotv.com.