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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:33,201 --> 00:00:36,003 So, stick with me here. 2 00:00:36,036 --> 00:00:38,973 I know y'all came to see a comedy about the blacks, 3 00:00:39,006 --> 00:00:41,775 everyone's favorite family with the perfect daughter 4 00:00:41,809 --> 00:00:44,078 that somehow survived terror night. 5 00:00:46,046 --> 00:00:49,183 You didn't sign up to see some Egyptians open an evil box 6 00:00:49,217 --> 00:00:52,487 and a bat flap his ass across an Indiana Jones map. 7 00:00:52,520 --> 00:00:56,190 Trust me, it'll all make sense later. 8 00:00:56,224 --> 00:00:57,925 Well, since we last met, 9 00:00:57,958 --> 00:01:00,362 dad wrote a bestseller based on terror night. 10 00:01:00,395 --> 00:01:02,364 But then dad and cronut blew that money 11 00:01:02,397 --> 00:01:05,032 faster than a rapper at a strip club. 12 00:01:05,065 --> 00:01:08,203 We're back in Atlanta. 13 00:01:08,236 --> 00:01:10,004 And dad's writin' the sequel, 14 00:01:10,037 --> 00:01:12,374 and we were just getting used to being back home 15 00:01:12,407 --> 00:01:15,876 when this very bat flew into our lives. 16 00:01:15,909 --> 00:01:17,978 Seriously, pray for us, y'all. 17 00:02:05,427 --> 00:02:07,362 We're back on the ggn news network. 18 00:02:07,395 --> 00:02:10,130 I'm your host with the most, finding Nemo, aka Nemo hoser. 19 00:02:10,164 --> 00:02:12,467 Today on my show, I got a very special guest, 20 00:02:12,500 --> 00:02:17,004 the one and only, the author Carl black in the motherfucking house. 21 00:02:17,037 --> 00:02:18,340 Mr. Black, what's happening? 22 00:02:18,373 --> 00:02:20,107 Snoop! How are you, man? 23 00:02:20,140 --> 00:02:21,885 I'm good, Carl. How you doin' today, brother? 24 00:02:21,909 --> 00:02:23,177 I'm excited, man. 25 00:02:23,211 --> 00:02:24,945 I got this new book coming out. 26 00:02:24,978 --> 00:02:27,315 It's called terror night. Mm. I wrote it. 27 00:02:27,349 --> 00:02:28,316 It's from my heart. 28 00:02:28,350 --> 00:02:29,651 This is my baby. 29 00:02:29,684 --> 00:02:31,519 What makes this book a great read 30 00:02:31,553 --> 00:02:33,431 for the average nigga sitting at home doing nothing? 31 00:02:33,455 --> 00:02:37,592 You know, most black people know about terror. 32 00:02:37,625 --> 00:02:39,303 Mr. Black, I'm forced to tell you the truth. 33 00:02:39,327 --> 00:02:41,463 It is an easy read. Real easy. 34 00:02:41,496 --> 00:02:43,130 What you mean by that? 35 00:02:43,163 --> 00:02:45,600 "There was a black man that..." 36 00:02:45,633 --> 00:02:47,369 That's bullshit, snoop. 37 00:02:47,402 --> 00:02:49,069 Go get my book. It's called terror night. 38 00:02:51,239 --> 00:02:52,949 All right. All right. All right. That's enough terror night. 39 00:02:52,973 --> 00:02:54,518 All right. All right. All right. Thank you. 40 00:02:54,542 --> 00:02:56,511 Now we got a real guest coming up on the show. 41 00:02:56,544 --> 00:02:58,613 Make some noise for the one and only Matt Barnes. 42 00:02:58,646 --> 00:03:00,524 Snoop, what's going on, man? Thanks for having me. 43 00:03:00,548 --> 00:03:01,949 Matt! 44 00:03:01,982 --> 00:03:03,585 - Who's that? - Terror night. 45 00:03:03,618 --> 00:03:06,153 - Ah, this is Carl black. - This book is j... Carl black, man. 46 00:03:06,186 --> 00:03:08,122 You know me. I wrote terror night. 47 00:03:08,155 --> 00:03:09,633 - You read that book? - The book is crazy. 48 00:03:09,657 --> 00:03:11,226 You're gonna love it, man. And... 49 00:03:11,259 --> 00:03:12,594 That book was terrible. 50 00:03:12,627 --> 00:03:14,928 One of the worst books I ever read. 51 00:03:14,962 --> 00:03:16,540 You must be havin' a bad day today. It's a good book, man. 52 00:03:16,564 --> 00:03:18,275 - Nah. It's just a bad book. - Hey, you should... 53 00:03:18,299 --> 00:03:20,335 - Fuck you. - Fuck you and that book. 54 00:03:20,368 --> 00:03:22,504 I'm gonna get the fucking fuck. 55 00:03:24,004 --> 00:03:25,273 That nigga's excited. 56 00:03:41,389 --> 00:03:44,024 Okay. Just don't. Here. 57 00:04:08,750 --> 00:04:09,750 Hey. 58 00:04:11,018 --> 00:04:12,019 Hey! 59 00:04:13,621 --> 00:04:15,356 Hey! 60 00:04:15,390 --> 00:04:16,624 What are you doin'? 61 00:04:16,658 --> 00:04:18,393 We're practicing for the migos' tour. 62 00:04:18,426 --> 00:04:20,228 The streets need us. 63 00:04:20,261 --> 00:04:21,629 The streets don't need yo ass. 64 00:04:21,663 --> 00:04:24,299 And stop makin' all that damn noise. 65 00:04:24,332 --> 00:04:26,099 - Frickin' old guys! - And stop playing! 66 00:04:26,133 --> 00:04:27,167 Again from the top. Ready? 67 00:04:29,069 --> 00:04:30,405 I'm gonna kick your ass. 68 00:04:30,438 --> 00:04:32,273 Give me the phone! Cut if off! 69 00:04:32,307 --> 00:04:34,509 - Dad, come on. - Cut it off! I'm trying to write. 70 00:04:34,542 --> 00:04:36,444 You messed it up again! I bet... 71 00:04:38,713 --> 00:04:40,047 Go. 72 00:04:40,080 --> 00:04:41,716 Daddy, get out! 73 00:04:41,749 --> 00:04:43,527 - Out. - Hey! Girl, you better stop throwin' shit. 74 00:04:43,551 --> 00:04:46,053 - Go! Shut up! - I peed in that bed last night. 75 00:04:57,130 --> 00:04:59,099 You know, I didn't escape the purge 76 00:04:59,132 --> 00:05:02,237 so somebody would be breakin' in my fuckin' house! 77 00:05:14,849 --> 00:05:18,753 Hey, hey! Hey, hey, hey! Man, come on, bro. 78 00:05:18,786 --> 00:05:21,422 - What's wrong with you? - Come on, bro. 79 00:05:21,456 --> 00:05:24,325 - Goddamn! - What's wrong with you? 80 00:05:24,359 --> 00:05:26,361 Goddamn. Why are you so jumpy? 81 00:05:26,394 --> 00:05:29,105 Yeah, 'cause maybe somebody tried to break in my house and kill me before. 82 00:05:29,129 --> 00:05:31,140 What you doin' creepin' around my house this late at night? 83 00:05:31,164 --> 00:05:33,477 The lights in the rv went out. I had to get some flashlights. 84 00:05:33,501 --> 00:05:35,637 - Some flashlights? - Not just flashlight. 85 00:05:35,670 --> 00:05:37,572 Purge lights! You feel me? 86 00:05:37,605 --> 00:05:39,574 You know about these. Did I tell you about 'em? 87 00:05:39,607 --> 00:05:41,652 You don't need no battery. That means you crank it right up. 88 00:05:41,676 --> 00:05:43,287 - Just like this. - Hey, hey, hey, hey, man. 89 00:05:43,311 --> 00:05:44,579 - What? What? - Hey, hey. 90 00:05:44,612 --> 00:05:47,180 Get rid of that janky shit! Stop orderin' it. 91 00:05:47,215 --> 00:05:49,284 Y'all run around here ballin' and spendin' money, 92 00:05:49,317 --> 00:05:51,686 leavin' the lights on, runnin' water, 93 00:05:51,719 --> 00:05:54,154 like there's money growin' on the tree. 94 00:05:54,187 --> 00:05:56,467 - I don't have no more money. - 'Cause you ain't selling no goddamn books. 95 00:05:56,491 --> 00:05:59,427 If you sell some goddamn books, we can goddamn sell these bitches. 96 00:05:59,460 --> 00:06:02,597 - And why're you broke? Huh? - Get your ass out of here. 97 00:06:02,630 --> 00:06:03,741 Hey, man. What the fuck, man? 98 00:06:03,765 --> 00:06:06,501 Stop holding me like a side bitch. 99 00:06:06,534 --> 00:06:08,612 - What's you tripping off of? - This is the reason right here. 100 00:06:08,636 --> 00:06:12,373 'Cause I can't imagine why I let you talk me 101 00:06:12,407 --> 00:06:14,409 into spending my money on this shit. 102 00:06:14,442 --> 00:06:16,109 It's all part of the business plan, cuz. 103 00:06:16,143 --> 00:06:17,745 No, no, no. The business plan 104 00:06:17,779 --> 00:06:19,414 is the reason why Lorena is out 105 00:06:19,447 --> 00:06:22,350 busting her ass to wipe my old ass. 106 00:06:22,383 --> 00:06:23,751 Don't nobody want to hear about me 107 00:06:23,785 --> 00:06:25,787 moving back into my old neighborhood 108 00:06:25,820 --> 00:06:28,188 while my cousin livin' in an rv in the back of my house. 109 00:06:30,291 --> 00:06:32,393 What the fuck is going on over there, man? 110 00:06:32,427 --> 00:06:34,262 Some crackheads. 111 00:06:34,295 --> 00:06:35,697 Next door at the old marsten house. 112 00:06:35,730 --> 00:06:37,832 They must be squattin' or somethin'. 113 00:06:37,865 --> 00:06:39,376 - Don't forget the... - Nah. They live there. 114 00:06:39,400 --> 00:06:41,603 I seen 'em move in, but the crazy part is 115 00:06:41,636 --> 00:06:43,838 all the windows are boarded. 116 00:06:43,871 --> 00:06:46,374 They only come out at nighttime. 117 00:06:46,407 --> 00:06:48,376 Yeah. Who would move in a place 118 00:06:48,409 --> 00:06:50,378 with a house that's boarded up like that? 119 00:06:50,411 --> 00:06:51,746 And when did they move in? 120 00:06:51,779 --> 00:06:53,381 Yeah. They got in like a week ago. 121 00:06:53,414 --> 00:06:54,849 - What the fuck? - Snitch, snitch, 122 00:06:54,882 --> 00:06:56,684 - where you at? - Yeah. I watched 'em do it. 123 00:06:56,718 --> 00:06:58,753 They moved in, man. 124 00:06:58,786 --> 00:07:00,822 I see everything. 125 00:07:00,855 --> 00:07:03,558 I know you with the neighborhood watch and everything, but man... 126 00:07:03,591 --> 00:07:05,627 It's getting a little creepy, man. 127 00:07:05,660 --> 00:07:07,795 All right, ladies, in we go. Your coupe is here. 128 00:07:07,829 --> 00:07:09,697 - Did you hear that? - Shhh... 129 00:07:09,731 --> 00:07:11,332 That's some crazy shit. 130 00:07:18,773 --> 00:07:22,377 Somethin' strange goin' on in that house. 131 00:07:29,784 --> 00:07:30,918 I'm gone. 132 00:07:41,229 --> 00:07:44,432 You will be mine... 133 00:07:44,465 --> 00:07:46,534 Unconditionally. 134 00:07:55,943 --> 00:07:58,579 Baby, I think some new people just moved in next door. 135 00:07:58,613 --> 00:08:01,549 Oh, baby. Leave those people alone, babe. 136 00:08:01,582 --> 00:08:03,751 Go back to sleep. 137 00:08:21,502 --> 00:08:23,371 This refrigerator's filthy! 138 00:08:25,339 --> 00:08:27,408 - Appreciate shit. - Ahem. 139 00:08:28,543 --> 00:08:30,011 What are you doing here, cronut? 140 00:08:30,044 --> 00:08:31,646 I had to get some milk for my cereal. 141 00:08:31,679 --> 00:08:33,881 I ran out in the rv. 142 00:08:33,915 --> 00:08:35,817 The door's locked for a reason. 143 00:08:35,850 --> 00:08:37,385 Who messed up that damn toilet? 144 00:08:37,418 --> 00:08:39,320 Hey, what the fuck you doin' in here? 145 00:08:39,353 --> 00:08:40,998 Eating breakfast. What it look like I'm doin'? 146 00:08:41,022 --> 00:08:42,566 You ain't supposed to be here in the mornings. 147 00:08:42,590 --> 00:08:43,901 You told me I could come in on Tuesdays. 148 00:08:43,925 --> 00:08:45,259 I'm about sick of your shit. 149 00:08:45,293 --> 00:08:47,295 It's light wheat. 150 00:08:47,328 --> 00:08:48,996 Stay out of the toilet. 151 00:08:49,030 --> 00:08:50,941 You know there's a serial killer living next door. 152 00:08:50,965 --> 00:08:53,301 God, this boy run his damn mouth too much. 153 00:08:53,334 --> 00:08:56,404 Hey, Carl, Carl. Check this shit out, bro. 154 00:08:56,437 --> 00:08:58,339 The death of chante Webster. 155 00:08:58,372 --> 00:09:01,676 Her badly mutilated corpse was found inside a dumpster 156 00:09:01,709 --> 00:09:05,813 behind Gus's chicken and waffles on Indian hill road. 157 00:09:05,847 --> 00:09:07,524 They found that body right around the corner. 158 00:09:07,548 --> 00:09:09,283 This is the sixth incident 159 00:09:09,317 --> 00:09:12,353 in a vicious string of kidnapping and murders, 160 00:09:12,386 --> 00:09:16,791 all of which were either African-American or Mexican. 161 00:09:16,824 --> 00:09:19,527 Racially motivated? Perhaps. 162 00:09:19,560 --> 00:09:22,430 This is exactly why we need to move out of this neighborhood. 163 00:09:22,463 --> 00:09:24,432 - Move? Again? - Yes, move. 164 00:09:24,465 --> 00:09:26,334 And when we say "move," 165 00:09:26,367 --> 00:09:28,703 - that means us. - Are you thinkin' what I'm thinkin'? 166 00:09:28,736 --> 00:09:30,538 Uh, hey... hey. No thinkin' for you, okay? 167 00:09:30,571 --> 00:09:31,939 What about what we saw last night? 168 00:09:31,973 --> 00:09:33,975 Okay, I don't have time for this, Carl. 169 00:09:34,008 --> 00:09:36,420 I got to go to work. I'm going to be working a double tonight, 170 00:09:36,444 --> 00:09:37,845 so you're on your own for dinner. 171 00:09:37,879 --> 00:09:40,748 What about what we seen with the neighbors, bro? 172 00:09:42,884 --> 00:09:44,318 You better do what she say. 173 00:09:44,352 --> 00:09:45,453 Fuck you up. 174 00:09:45,486 --> 00:09:46,954 She payin' the bills around here. 175 00:09:46,988 --> 00:09:49,891 Hey, babe. Don't pay no attention to cronut. 176 00:09:49,924 --> 00:09:51,592 He's just a dumbass. 177 00:09:51,626 --> 00:09:53,628 He's a neglected chihuahua. 178 00:09:53,661 --> 00:09:55,363 Carl, I'm not happy here. 179 00:09:55,396 --> 00:09:57,598 - Listen... - This was supposed to be temporary, Carl. 180 00:09:57,632 --> 00:09:59,600 We were supposed to be here until you got 181 00:09:59,634 --> 00:10:00,935 - your money going. - Money. 182 00:10:00,968 --> 00:10:03,671 - You wrote your book. - It's gonna work. 183 00:10:03,704 --> 00:10:06,007 That developer came around again other day. 184 00:10:06,040 --> 00:10:09,410 He can make us a really good offer on your mom's house. 185 00:10:09,443 --> 00:10:11,445 We can move to a safer place. 186 00:10:11,479 --> 00:10:14,549 I can be happy. Happy wife, happy what? 187 00:10:14,582 --> 00:10:16,717 - Happy wife. - Happy life. 188 00:10:16,751 --> 00:10:18,853 The guy's a fuckin' vulture. Okay? 189 00:10:18,886 --> 00:10:20,655 He wants to move in this neighborhood 190 00:10:20,688 --> 00:10:23,424 so he can take it over and turn it into a fuckin' strip mall. 191 00:10:23,457 --> 00:10:25,593 Do you understand what I'm sayin'? Okay? 192 00:10:25,626 --> 00:10:27,395 It's called... It's called gingivitis. 193 00:10:27,428 --> 00:10:28,796 Gentrification! 194 00:10:28,830 --> 00:10:29,831 Shut up, cronut! 195 00:10:29,864 --> 00:10:31,966 Stupid dumbass nigga. 196 00:10:31,999 --> 00:10:34,077 Once we move out of here, who cares what they do to the neighborhood? 197 00:10:34,101 --> 00:10:37,071 Just promise me that today you're going to look at this and consider it. 198 00:10:37,104 --> 00:10:38,873 I'm... I'm gonna think about it. 199 00:10:38,906 --> 00:10:40,775 I appreciate it. 200 00:10:40,808 --> 00:10:44,378 Up next, I survived a hammer to the head 201 00:10:44,412 --> 00:10:46,881 and a boot to the face. 202 00:10:46,914 --> 00:10:49,026 Somethin' fucked-up went down in that house last night. 203 00:10:49,050 --> 00:10:50,418 You think that was a dead body? 204 00:10:50,451 --> 00:10:52,486 Would you stop? It's already hard enough 205 00:10:52,520 --> 00:10:54,956 you got all this crazy shit in my wife's head. 206 00:10:54,989 --> 00:10:58,092 And no! I did not see a body. 207 00:10:58,125 --> 00:11:00,828 I think my first instinct is like, there's dead body in there. 208 00:11:00,862 --> 00:11:03,531 But... oh, there's a nice one over there. 209 00:11:16,811 --> 00:11:17,812 No. 210 00:11:21,883 --> 00:11:23,651 Hey, hey, hey! No! 211 00:11:23,684 --> 00:11:25,519 Why you cock-blocking? She need me. 212 00:11:25,553 --> 00:11:27,421 This could be my old lady, man. 213 00:11:27,455 --> 00:11:29,900 - She's already married. - You know I've been in the penitentiary. 214 00:11:29,924 --> 00:11:31,559 - Let me just live, brother. - Okay. 215 00:11:31,592 --> 00:11:33,961 You've been to prison two years ago for 10 days 216 00:11:33,995 --> 00:11:35,563 for drinkin' and drivin'. 217 00:11:35,596 --> 00:11:37,598 And you're a "gangster drinker." 218 00:11:37,632 --> 00:11:39,743 I'm just gonna go over there and just... Just rap a tad to her. 219 00:11:39,767 --> 00:11:41,407 - I'm gonna go. What's up, baby? - Cronut. 220 00:11:43,037 --> 00:11:46,107 He about to shoot that midget sperm in that girl. 221 00:11:46,140 --> 00:11:48,009 Bunny! Shit. 222 00:11:48,042 --> 00:11:50,111 Baby, I told you, you got to get a new wheelchair. 223 00:11:50,144 --> 00:11:51,746 - You got new wheelchair money? - Ugh! 224 00:11:53,180 --> 00:11:54,815 - I'm sorry, bunny. - It's okay. 225 00:11:54,849 --> 00:11:56,450 I didn't mean to snap at you. 226 00:11:56,484 --> 00:11:57,961 If my penis worked, I'd make love to you right now. 227 00:11:57,985 --> 00:11:59,796 - I'd hit it from the back. - I know you would. 228 00:11:59,820 --> 00:12:02,023 Marky Mark style from boogie nights. 229 00:12:02,056 --> 00:12:04,091 Hey! Stay off my property! 230 00:12:04,125 --> 00:12:05,626 What's up, clive? 231 00:12:05,660 --> 00:12:06,970 Shouldn't you be makin' up some bullshit 232 00:12:06,994 --> 00:12:08,629 or whatever else you do you call work? 233 00:12:09,697 --> 00:12:12,867 You know my husband don't like you guys comin' over here. 234 00:12:12,900 --> 00:12:14,135 But I like seein' you guys. 235 00:12:14,168 --> 00:12:15,703 What you been up to? 236 00:12:15,736 --> 00:12:17,147 You been rollin' around this neighborhood 237 00:12:17,171 --> 00:12:20,041 or you just being kickin' it around? 238 00:12:20,074 --> 00:12:22,176 - Funny, motherfucker! - Kickin' it! 239 00:12:22,210 --> 00:12:24,578 What are you doing, writin' your next bestseller? 240 00:12:24,612 --> 00:12:27,048 Who're you trying to be? New Alex Haley? 241 00:12:27,081 --> 00:12:30,918 Steve Harvey? You gonna try to make a book into a movie? 242 00:12:30,952 --> 00:12:32,920 You see think like a man? Think like a man 2? 243 00:12:32,954 --> 00:12:33,954 Sucked! 244 00:12:34,789 --> 00:12:37,158 Pootie tang blew those two out the water. 245 00:12:37,191 --> 00:12:38,960 Okay, yeah, I'm writin' a book. 246 00:12:38,993 --> 00:12:41,529 When is your next marathon, huh? 247 00:12:41,562 --> 00:12:43,898 You gonna help me tend to my garden? 248 00:12:43,931 --> 00:12:45,967 I'll tend the shit out of that garden. 249 00:12:46,000 --> 00:12:48,578 Tend more than the garden. I will bend you over in there. I mean... 250 00:12:48,602 --> 00:12:49,804 So, I have carrots. 251 00:12:49,837 --> 00:12:51,872 I got a carrot. With a fat head. 252 00:12:51,906 --> 00:12:53,251 What's up with that house right there? 253 00:12:53,275 --> 00:12:55,543 What's up with them people that live in there? 254 00:12:55,576 --> 00:12:58,280 I know you can't see with them thick-ass glasses. 255 00:12:58,313 --> 00:12:59,656 You know what these eyes have seen? 256 00:12:59,680 --> 00:13:00,715 Yeah, these nuts. 257 00:13:00,748 --> 00:13:02,149 I've been in three wars. 258 00:13:02,183 --> 00:13:04,051 - How you think I got bunny? - The government. 259 00:13:04,085 --> 00:13:06,096 That little check you get every month, she's takin' it. 260 00:13:06,120 --> 00:13:08,189 - I saw into her soul. - Damn. 261 00:13:08,223 --> 00:13:10,834 I see that little man right there with the 8th-grade body talkin' to my wife. 262 00:13:10,858 --> 00:13:11,902 You don't think I see that? 263 00:13:11,926 --> 00:13:13,036 I saw you catch gonorrhea, baby... 264 00:13:13,060 --> 00:13:14,305 You better watch your fuckin' mouth! 265 00:13:14,329 --> 00:13:15,973 - Watch your mouth, man! - I wish you would. 266 00:13:15,997 --> 00:13:17,765 I wish you... I've been waiting on this. 267 00:13:17,798 --> 00:13:19,567 Why would you kick me in the leg 268 00:13:19,600 --> 00:13:22,003 - where I can't feel it? - I know you can't... can't feel it. 269 00:13:22,036 --> 00:13:24,182 Come on. You ain't the first black guy I got in a fight with. 270 00:13:24,206 --> 00:13:26,308 I can't feel my legs, Carl. Hit me in the face. 271 00:13:27,775 --> 00:13:28,876 You little bitch. 272 00:13:28,909 --> 00:13:30,778 All day, every day. 273 00:13:30,811 --> 00:13:33,714 Listen, man. Somethin' ain't right at that house, Carl. 274 00:13:33,748 --> 00:13:35,082 They moved in the middle of night. 275 00:13:35,116 --> 00:13:37,319 There's never any movement during the day. 276 00:13:37,352 --> 00:13:39,321 - Yeah. - Lazy shits won't answer the door, 277 00:13:39,354 --> 00:13:40,621 had a package dropped off. 278 00:13:40,654 --> 00:13:42,556 Mailman brought it over to me, 279 00:13:42,590 --> 00:13:44,692 sittin' on the front porch right now. 280 00:13:44,725 --> 00:13:47,762 Hey, bunny! Come get that package from Africa! 281 00:13:47,795 --> 00:13:49,063 Hey, bunny! 282 00:13:49,096 --> 00:13:50,874 Get that package over there on the back porch. 283 00:13:50,898 --> 00:13:52,642 - I wouldn't. I wouldn't. - You might get on... 284 00:13:52,666 --> 00:13:54,426 - You feel that, Carl? - Okay. Let my arm go. 285 00:13:55,936 --> 00:13:57,215 - Let my arm go. - Let my cousin... aw! 286 00:13:57,239 --> 00:13:58,306 - It fucking hurts. - Hey. 287 00:13:58,340 --> 00:14:00,308 Let it go! That shit hurt. 288 00:14:00,342 --> 00:14:02,710 Dang, you got some upper body strength. 289 00:14:02,743 --> 00:14:04,779 There it is. Look at that... Africa. 290 00:14:04,812 --> 00:14:06,781 Africa. Wrapped in velvet. 291 00:14:15,956 --> 00:14:17,858 I'm gonna take it over there myself. 292 00:14:17,892 --> 00:14:20,295 Cronut... Cronut! 293 00:14:20,328 --> 00:14:22,297 Why you give him the fuckin' package?! 294 00:14:22,330 --> 00:14:25,833 It's like we're living across the street from diff'rent strokes. 295 00:14:25,866 --> 00:14:28,145 - Hey, hey, hey. Give me the package, man. - What the shit? 296 00:14:28,169 --> 00:14:29,570 Cronut! 297 00:14:30,805 --> 00:14:33,074 See? You happy? 298 00:14:35,176 --> 00:14:37,288 You got me runnin' around here, fightin' motherfuckers and shit... 299 00:14:37,312 --> 00:14:40,948 - I can't do this, man. - Fuck this, I gotta find out. 300 00:14:40,981 --> 00:14:44,085 - Hey, hey, hey... - Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey my ass. 301 00:14:44,118 --> 00:14:45,220 Get it. Get it. 302 00:15:02,304 --> 00:15:05,240 What can I do to... I mean, for you, gentlemen? 303 00:15:05,273 --> 00:15:06,883 Nigga, we saw you transporting dead bodies last night. 304 00:15:06,907 --> 00:15:09,009 Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, man. Shut the fuck up. 305 00:15:09,043 --> 00:15:10,345 We did. 306 00:15:10,378 --> 00:15:12,980 You not see me transport any dead bodies. 307 00:15:13,013 --> 00:15:15,783 We standin' in front of a chocolate vampire-type nigga. 308 00:15:15,816 --> 00:15:19,186 Sir, and this my little cousin, cronut, he's a little retarded. 309 00:15:19,221 --> 00:15:21,323 - Slow as fuck. - He needs special attention. 310 00:15:21,356 --> 00:15:24,091 - He's on ritalin, prednisone, and all kind of shit. - Everything. 311 00:15:24,125 --> 00:15:26,694 This is Dr. Mamuwalde's residence. 312 00:15:26,727 --> 00:15:28,829 Mama... mama who? 313 00:15:28,863 --> 00:15:30,064 Ma-mu-wal-day. 314 00:15:30,097 --> 00:15:32,099 - How you pronounce that? - Ma-mu-wal-day. 315 00:15:32,133 --> 00:15:34,101 Mamuwal... 316 00:15:34,135 --> 00:15:35,437 Ma-mu-wal-day. 317 00:15:35,470 --> 00:15:38,340 - Ma-mu-wal-day. - Ma-mwa-wal-di. 318 00:15:38,373 --> 00:15:39,940 - Ma-mu-wal-day. - Ma-mwa-wal-di. 319 00:15:39,974 --> 00:15:41,309 - Ma-mu-wal-day. - Ma-mwa-wal-di. 320 00:15:41,343 --> 00:15:42,719 - Fix your mouth. - All right, all right. 321 00:15:42,743 --> 00:15:44,346 - Excuse me. - Your mama, nigga. 322 00:15:44,379 --> 00:15:47,282 I am monty. I just rent a room here. 323 00:15:47,315 --> 00:15:50,684 And I assure you, you have seen no bodies. 324 00:15:50,718 --> 00:15:52,354 Pleasure to make your acquaintance. 325 00:15:52,387 --> 00:15:54,798 Nigga, we saw you transport them goddamn dead bodies in the back. 326 00:15:54,822 --> 00:15:57,158 - If you don't shut the fuck... - Where you from, bro? 327 00:15:57,191 --> 00:15:59,793 - Hey, man, stop! Sir... - What? 328 00:15:59,827 --> 00:16:02,096 Mr. Black, do you have business here? 329 00:16:02,129 --> 00:16:04,808 No. I don't have no business here. We just wanted to come through and say hey 330 00:16:04,832 --> 00:16:06,401 and make sure everything was cool. 331 00:16:06,434 --> 00:16:08,068 Why wouldn't it be cool? 332 00:16:09,337 --> 00:16:11,239 - Excuse me? - Why wouldn't it be? 333 00:16:11,273 --> 00:16:15,243 Because y'all moving in this motherfucking house at 12:00 at night. 334 00:16:15,277 --> 00:16:17,279 There's people sleeping around here. 335 00:16:17,312 --> 00:16:21,148 You got crackheads back there sunbathing into fucking midnight. 336 00:16:23,150 --> 00:16:24,952 Bye, bitch! 337 00:16:24,985 --> 00:16:27,154 Hey, come on. Get your ass... 338 00:16:28,022 --> 00:16:31,426 I'm gonna drop a dime on you motherfuckers. 339 00:16:31,459 --> 00:16:34,828 You happy you done made me waste a whole day on some bullshit? 340 00:16:34,862 --> 00:16:36,797 - Hey, man. Just fall back. - Fall back for what? 341 00:16:36,830 --> 00:16:37,932 What you got to say now? 342 00:16:37,965 --> 00:16:39,334 You don't think that shit weird? 343 00:16:40,502 --> 00:16:42,102 How'd he know your last name? 344 00:16:42,136 --> 00:16:44,206 I'm a famous writer, cronut. 345 00:16:44,239 --> 00:16:45,739 This nigga delusional. 346 00:16:45,773 --> 00:16:48,410 My book is in-in-in Barnes and noble's. 347 00:16:48,443 --> 00:16:52,214 Nigga! Ain't nobody reading your books! Retire! 348 00:16:52,247 --> 00:16:54,249 Look, you're running around here smoking that weed, 349 00:16:54,282 --> 00:16:57,319 you're paranoid, you're smoking 2k, k2, 350 00:16:57,352 --> 00:16:58,786 or whatever the fuck you doing... 351 00:16:58,819 --> 00:17:00,455 First of all, I'm not smoking k2. 352 00:17:00,488 --> 00:17:02,224 I'm smoking strictly weed. 353 00:17:02,257 --> 00:17:04,202 And second of all, something ain't right about that house, 354 00:17:04,226 --> 00:17:07,995 because boy was from Africa, but he had a French accent. 355 00:17:08,028 --> 00:17:10,898 He got a sideburn that curl up, like the devil. 356 00:17:10,931 --> 00:17:13,368 I'm thinking, man. You? We got to get to the bottom of it. 357 00:17:13,401 --> 00:17:16,103 We not getting to the bottom of shit. 358 00:17:16,136 --> 00:17:18,176 Well, you write your book. I'll just be a detective. 359 00:17:18,206 --> 00:17:19,541 A detective for what? 360 00:17:19,574 --> 00:17:24,546 Africa, Carl. Africa. Are you listening to me? 361 00:17:24,579 --> 00:17:26,281 Southwest don't go to Africa. 362 00:17:26,314 --> 00:17:28,015 You won't help me do shit. 363 00:17:28,048 --> 00:17:30,050 I'm trying to marry this man wife, 364 00:17:30,084 --> 00:17:31,861 I'm trying to tell you about these devil worshippers over here 365 00:17:31,885 --> 00:17:33,488 and your book suck. How about that? 366 00:17:37,157 --> 00:17:39,193 Shady management. 367 00:17:39,227 --> 00:17:40,495 Leave a message. 368 00:17:40,528 --> 00:17:43,030 Hey, it's Carl black. Just calling you again, 369 00:17:43,063 --> 00:17:46,268 just lettin' you know that I'm writing away. 370 00:17:46,301 --> 00:17:48,035 I need that advancement. 371 00:17:48,068 --> 00:17:51,239 The water bill's due, we need bread, dishwash li... 372 00:17:55,210 --> 00:17:56,578 Do you know who I am? 373 00:17:56,611 --> 00:18:00,582 I am wooky. The one that survived the purge. 374 00:18:00,615 --> 00:18:02,417 I can help you survive your problem. 375 00:18:02,450 --> 00:18:04,885 Are you being bullied? Do you hear noises at night? 376 00:18:04,918 --> 00:18:06,186 Phone me. 377 00:18:06,221 --> 00:18:07,598 Are you sick? Do you have a headache? 378 00:18:07,622 --> 00:18:10,858 Are you hearing things? Malaria? Ebola? 379 00:18:10,891 --> 00:18:12,294 Demon experience? 380 00:18:12,327 --> 00:18:14,562 Call me. Whisper to me. 381 00:18:14,596 --> 00:18:17,232 I will fight your battles for you today. 382 00:18:18,633 --> 00:18:20,067 I am wooky. 383 00:18:21,101 --> 00:18:22,604 Ain't nobody go for that bullshit. 384 00:18:26,207 --> 00:18:28,543 All right, yeah. Shit. 385 00:18:33,581 --> 00:18:35,417 Allie black. 386 00:18:35,450 --> 00:18:38,219 Yes, daddy? Yes? 387 00:18:38,253 --> 00:18:40,020 - What you doing? - I'm studying. 388 00:18:40,054 --> 00:18:41,323 - You're studying. - Yes. 389 00:18:41,356 --> 00:18:42,956 Yeah. I thought you was home for fall? 390 00:18:42,990 --> 00:18:44,958 Doesn't mean I still don't have to study, dad. 391 00:18:44,992 --> 00:18:47,961 You know our family have been going through a lot of stuff, 392 00:18:47,995 --> 00:18:50,632 and you don't like to follow the rules all the time, 393 00:18:50,665 --> 00:18:53,000 'cause I've been asked you a whole bunch of times 394 00:18:53,033 --> 00:18:54,968 to keep these little boys out of my... 395 00:18:55,002 --> 00:18:56,946 - Daddy, I can explain... - Ah! What the hell is wrong with you? 396 00:18:56,970 --> 00:18:58,215 I know a lot of gang shit. You know... 397 00:18:58,239 --> 00:18:59,507 I thought he was dead! 398 00:18:59,541 --> 00:19:01,942 No, bitch. Dying's for pussies. 399 00:19:01,975 --> 00:19:04,412 I told you to keep these little boys out of this house. 400 00:19:04,446 --> 00:19:06,548 I sent you to school for a education... 401 00:19:06,581 --> 00:19:08,650 - I had to drop out, okay? - You dropped out? 402 00:19:08,683 --> 00:19:11,051 We dropped out. A couple goes... 403 00:19:11,085 --> 00:19:13,597 You and him about to be living off that little cripple check every month. 404 00:19:13,621 --> 00:19:15,590 - Baby, give me my cane. I'm out. - Okay. 405 00:19:15,623 --> 00:19:17,425 Yeah, this don't make no sense. 406 00:19:17,459 --> 00:19:19,135 I don't know what you going through, Allie. 407 00:19:19,159 --> 00:19:21,363 Daddy, daddy. Just... Just leave him alone, okay? 408 00:19:21,396 --> 00:19:23,073 If you're gonna do somethin', do somethin'. 409 00:19:23,097 --> 00:19:24,299 It's already done. 410 00:19:24,332 --> 00:19:26,066 If you're gonna do somethin', do somethin'. 411 00:19:26,100 --> 00:19:27,469 Freezee! 412 00:19:27,502 --> 00:19:28,936 Daddy, why'd you do that? 413 00:19:28,969 --> 00:19:30,070 I didn't even touch him. 414 00:19:30,104 --> 00:19:31,382 That's all right. You got it, baby? 415 00:19:31,406 --> 00:19:32,650 Come on. Help his arm. Get his arm right there. 416 00:19:32,674 --> 00:19:34,609 Hey, I don't need your help! I'm in the Ada. 417 00:19:34,642 --> 00:19:36,143 Baby, you do need help. 418 00:19:36,176 --> 00:19:37,736 - All right. - You need some help, okay? 419 00:19:39,046 --> 00:19:40,406 Yeah. Lift him up. One, two, three. 420 00:19:41,549 --> 00:19:43,485 Fuck you! Ain't nobody need your assistance. 421 00:19:43,518 --> 00:19:45,286 Baby, go start the car, okay? 422 00:19:45,320 --> 00:19:47,222 - All right. - We'll be out of here in a second. 423 00:19:47,255 --> 00:19:48,699 I'm gonna let you know one thing. My dick may not work, 424 00:19:48,723 --> 00:19:51,626 but my tongue game's strong on your girl. 425 00:19:51,659 --> 00:19:53,261 Okay. Baby, go. 426 00:19:53,294 --> 00:19:54,538 Ask him for some gas money, baby. 427 00:19:54,562 --> 00:19:56,997 I will. I'll ask him for some. Okay. 428 00:19:57,030 --> 00:19:58,500 Oh, thank god. 429 00:19:58,533 --> 00:20:00,468 But why don't you get somebody that can walk? 430 00:20:00,502 --> 00:20:02,002 I ain't helping. 431 00:20:02,035 --> 00:20:03,971 Daddy, listen. Okay, I had to drop out 432 00:20:04,004 --> 00:20:06,039 because your check bounced. 433 00:20:06,073 --> 00:20:08,118 And you would know that if you cared about anybody in this family 434 00:20:08,142 --> 00:20:10,144 except yourself and that damn book. 435 00:20:10,177 --> 00:20:12,614 He loves me. 436 00:20:15,048 --> 00:20:17,017 He only cares about himself. He's so selfish. 437 00:20:17,050 --> 00:20:18,586 Allie! 438 00:20:22,390 --> 00:20:23,658 Allie! 439 00:20:23,691 --> 00:20:25,226 Allie! 440 00:20:29,697 --> 00:20:32,567 Ekekek. Ekekek. 441 00:20:32,600 --> 00:20:34,302 Psst! Ekekek. 442 00:20:36,170 --> 00:20:38,373 Carl, come here. 443 00:20:38,406 --> 00:20:39,574 You gotta see this shit. 444 00:20:39,607 --> 00:20:41,209 Get over where? How do I get over there? 445 00:20:41,242 --> 00:20:42,444 Hop over, man. 446 00:20:44,579 --> 00:20:47,215 No, no, for real. For real. Come here. 447 00:20:47,248 --> 00:20:49,451 - What the fuck are you doing? - Calm down. Calm down. 448 00:20:49,484 --> 00:20:51,619 Check that. Shit! 449 00:20:56,056 --> 00:20:57,525 Is that Michael Jackson? 450 00:20:57,559 --> 00:20:59,427 Where's the box from Africa? 451 00:20:59,461 --> 00:21:00,994 - That's so weird. - Hey! Hey, man! 452 00:21:01,028 --> 00:21:02,530 Hey, man, don't do that! 453 00:21:02,564 --> 00:21:04,566 Why are you always creeping up on people, man? 454 00:21:04,599 --> 00:21:07,202 - Don't do that. - That's what I do. I creep. 455 00:21:07,235 --> 00:21:09,637 - Look, look. - Find it. 456 00:21:10,872 --> 00:21:13,675 They just moved into the house and people are already coming over. 457 00:21:16,744 --> 00:21:19,314 Goddamn. She got a big 'ol ass. 458 00:21:21,282 --> 00:21:24,017 Hello. I'm here for Dr. Mamuwalde. 459 00:21:32,794 --> 00:21:34,429 Something ain't right. 460 00:21:34,462 --> 00:21:35,663 I'MMA tell you something. 461 00:21:35,697 --> 00:21:38,733 Leave them goddamn neighbors alone. 462 00:21:38,766 --> 00:21:42,270 - Leave them alone! I'm out of here. - Look. 463 00:21:42,303 --> 00:21:43,471 I think you made him mad. 464 00:21:43,505 --> 00:21:45,540 He's always mad at me. Don't even trip. 465 00:21:45,573 --> 00:21:47,651 She ain't coming back out of there. I told you, once you go in there, 466 00:21:47,675 --> 00:21:49,744 you ain't coming out, especially if you're fine. 467 00:21:49,777 --> 00:21:52,514 All the ugly bitches came right out, but this coochie? 468 00:21:52,547 --> 00:21:54,782 I'm going in. 469 00:21:54,816 --> 00:21:56,484 I'm neighborhood watch. 470 00:22:00,788 --> 00:22:02,457 Yeah. You go right on in there. 471 00:22:02,490 --> 00:22:04,659 I trust you. 472 00:22:04,692 --> 00:22:06,361 Snitch, snitch, come in. 473 00:22:10,163 --> 00:22:11,533 What can I do for you? 474 00:22:11,566 --> 00:22:13,835 I'm neighborhood watch. I need to get in this house. 475 00:22:13,868 --> 00:22:17,405 Well then, please, come in, Mr. Neighborhood watch. 476 00:22:17,438 --> 00:22:19,172 You're very welcome here. 477 00:22:25,813 --> 00:22:28,349 Cronut, what the fuck are you doing? 478 00:22:28,383 --> 00:22:29,383 Shhh! 479 00:22:32,353 --> 00:22:34,689 Why are you looking in their window? 480 00:22:34,722 --> 00:22:36,224 Get out of them people's house. 481 00:22:38,125 --> 00:22:39,661 What you see? 482 00:22:39,694 --> 00:22:41,338 Well, first of all, this house looks amazing on the inside, 483 00:22:41,362 --> 00:22:44,465 but they're doing some freaky shit for real. 484 00:22:44,499 --> 00:22:48,336 What? What's he doing? 485 00:22:51,506 --> 00:22:55,108 Cronut! What's going on? 486 00:22:55,142 --> 00:22:57,612 - Oh, shit! Oh, shit! - What? What? What? 487 00:22:57,645 --> 00:23:00,248 - Oh, shit! Oh, shit! - What? What? 488 00:23:00,281 --> 00:23:01,716 Go, go. 489 00:23:04,151 --> 00:23:07,455 - Oh, shit. - Why we running, man? 490 00:23:07,488 --> 00:23:10,358 - Hey, ¿qué pasó? - Og. Hugo. 491 00:23:10,391 --> 00:23:12,260 There's vampires, man. There's vampires. 492 00:23:12,293 --> 00:23:13,561 Re... relax. Ain't no... 493 00:23:13,595 --> 00:23:16,531 The vampire feeds on blood. 494 00:23:16,564 --> 00:23:20,368 But what he really wants 495 00:23:20,401 --> 00:23:22,870 is to find the things that you love most 496 00:23:22,904 --> 00:23:25,105 and twist you... 497 00:23:26,441 --> 00:23:30,110 And torment you every day of your life. 498 00:23:32,280 --> 00:23:34,282 You're a dark motherfucker. 499 00:23:34,315 --> 00:23:36,851 You've been saying some crazy shit back here in this backyard. 500 00:23:36,884 --> 00:23:38,653 So what should we do, og? 501 00:23:38,686 --> 00:23:40,622 Find out what he wants. 502 00:23:42,557 --> 00:23:45,860 Find out what he's doing in our neighborhood. 503 00:23:45,893 --> 00:23:47,428 Think about it. 504 00:23:47,462 --> 00:23:49,306 We ain't never seen Dr. Mamuwalde in the daytime. 505 00:23:49,330 --> 00:23:50,832 - You know why? - Why? 506 00:23:50,865 --> 00:23:52,767 "And they rise from the grave at night 507 00:23:52,800 --> 00:23:54,902 - to feast on the living." - Oh, no. 508 00:23:54,936 --> 00:23:57,605 Shut the fuck up for a second. 509 00:23:57,639 --> 00:23:59,474 Just for one second, shut the fuck up. 510 00:23:59,507 --> 00:24:02,310 You know what? All that coming to... to life 511 00:24:02,343 --> 00:24:05,680 and the dead rising up and the tales of the crypt 512 00:24:05,713 --> 00:24:07,915 and the Michael Jackson, the monsters, 513 00:24:07,949 --> 00:24:10,385 all that is a bunch of bullshit! 514 00:24:10,418 --> 00:24:12,353 Did you see the little guy in the window? 515 00:24:12,387 --> 00:24:13,797 'Cause you probably think it's prince 516 00:24:13,821 --> 00:24:15,757 or I don't know who the fuck you think it is. 517 00:24:15,790 --> 00:24:17,492 It's a little pimp in there. 518 00:24:18,426 --> 00:24:21,863 Bitches is getting slapped over in that house. 519 00:24:21,896 --> 00:24:23,907 Man, I know what I saw, man. That was a goddamn vampire. 520 00:24:23,931 --> 00:24:25,500 Definitely. I know what I saw. 521 00:24:25,533 --> 00:24:27,802 A pimp live next door to us, okay? 522 00:24:27,835 --> 00:24:29,604 P-i-m-p. 523 00:24:29,637 --> 00:24:31,839 Put it in my pocket. 524 00:24:31,873 --> 00:24:35,576 The reason why he sleep all day? Because pimping is at night! 525 00:24:35,610 --> 00:24:37,578 I'm gone. I'm getting the fuck out of here. 526 00:24:37,612 --> 00:24:39,213 I'm finna go write my book. 527 00:24:39,247 --> 00:24:40,848 You done lost your motherfucking mind. 528 00:24:40,882 --> 00:24:42,717 You need to go sign up for the circus. 529 00:24:42,750 --> 00:24:45,720 - Oh, man. - Don't invite him in. 530 00:24:45,753 --> 00:24:47,321 What? 531 00:24:47,355 --> 00:24:49,323 Only way to keep a vampire out of your house. 532 00:24:49,357 --> 00:24:51,392 Don't invite him in. 533 00:24:52,527 --> 00:24:53,995 I'm gone, man. I ain't... 534 00:24:54,028 --> 00:24:56,330 Yeah, you go, man. We're gonna get to the bottom of it. 535 00:24:56,364 --> 00:24:58,409 I'm gonna do some research. We'll figure it out, bro! 536 00:24:58,433 --> 00:25:00,234 - Just trust me! - Shut the fuck up. 537 00:25:01,269 --> 00:25:02,946 Well, what about... What about if you live in the rv? 538 00:25:02,970 --> 00:25:05,606 - Is there any rules there? - Don't invite him in. 539 00:25:21,556 --> 00:25:23,858 I ain't got no more bananas, 'cause this shit is... 540 00:25:23,891 --> 00:25:26,594 They got... bats. 541 00:25:26,627 --> 00:25:28,262 Vampire coming at me. 542 00:25:28,296 --> 00:25:29,696 God, I didn't sign up for this shit. 543 00:25:31,332 --> 00:25:35,303 Fucking nude. 544 00:25:37,004 --> 00:25:38,573 Dispatch to snitch. Over. 545 00:25:38,606 --> 00:25:41,642 Do you know what happens to snitches? 546 00:25:48,015 --> 00:25:49,751 Shit! 547 00:25:49,784 --> 00:25:53,321 These bitches bit snitch's neck! 548 00:25:53,354 --> 00:25:56,290 Mama! Oh, shit! That was shit. They got me. 549 00:25:57,625 --> 00:25:59,627 Oh, damn. Oh, damn. 550 00:26:10,671 --> 00:26:13,307 You know me as the one that survived the purge. 551 00:26:13,341 --> 00:26:16,043 Therefore, I could survive anything. 552 00:26:16,077 --> 00:26:17,578 What is going on in your life? 553 00:26:17,612 --> 00:26:19,714 - Late night? - Oh. Hey. 554 00:26:19,747 --> 00:26:21,549 Yeah. It was the worst last night. 555 00:26:21,582 --> 00:26:22,917 I can explain, though. 556 00:26:22,950 --> 00:26:25,853 Can you tell me what happened with Allie? 557 00:26:25,887 --> 00:26:28,790 - She called you? - She's mad because you don't trust her. 558 00:26:28,823 --> 00:26:30,000 No. She had her little boy in my house. 559 00:26:30,024 --> 00:26:31,826 She ain't paying no rent up in here. 560 00:26:31,859 --> 00:26:33,804 You need to be the bigger man and call her and apologize, 561 00:26:33,828 --> 00:26:36,063 because I'm not dealing with all of this mess. 562 00:26:36,097 --> 00:26:39,400 And speaking of which, did you call the real estate agent like I asked you to? 563 00:26:39,433 --> 00:26:40,735 Oh, man. 564 00:26:40,768 --> 00:26:43,538 I'm mentally exhausted from all of this. 565 00:26:43,571 --> 00:26:45,773 I'm having a hard time writing, okay? 566 00:26:45,807 --> 00:26:47,809 Lorena. 567 00:26:49,944 --> 00:26:51,946 Come, Lorena. 568 00:26:51,979 --> 00:26:55,349 Oh, my god. 569 00:26:55,383 --> 00:26:58,019 - Oh, my god. - What's going on with you? 570 00:26:58,052 --> 00:26:59,587 Oh, my god. 571 00:26:59,620 --> 00:27:00,922 - Do you feel it... - Oh, my god. 572 00:27:00,955 --> 00:27:02,423 - all over your body? - Oh, shit. 573 00:27:02,456 --> 00:27:03,457 How is this happening? 574 00:27:03,491 --> 00:27:04,859 Oh, my god. 575 00:27:04,892 --> 00:27:06,794 Am I missing out on something? 576 00:27:06,828 --> 00:27:09,463 Oh, yes. Don't stop. 577 00:27:09,497 --> 00:27:12,567 Oh, my. Carl. 578 00:27:12,600 --> 00:27:13,901 Carl, did you hear that? 579 00:27:13,935 --> 00:27:15,703 Hey, you didn't... you didn't came in here. 580 00:27:15,736 --> 00:27:18,372 Shhh! 581 00:27:18,406 --> 00:27:21,742 Okay, then. That's what I needed. 582 00:27:21,776 --> 00:27:25,046 Local authorities are hesitant to label this a serial killer... 583 00:27:25,079 --> 00:27:27,615 - Oh, my god. - ...But sources close to the investigation 584 00:27:27,648 --> 00:27:29,450 were heard saying 585 00:27:29,483 --> 00:27:32,920 "this is some fucked up shit right here, my nigga." 586 00:27:32,954 --> 00:27:34,932 Who's doing all these terrible things to these women? 587 00:27:34,956 --> 00:27:36,834 - they went on to say the dead... - Oh, my god. 588 00:27:36,858 --> 00:27:38,759 I'm telling you, we need to get out of here. 589 00:27:38,793 --> 00:27:40,671 Can you please, please call that real estate man? 590 00:27:40,695 --> 00:27:42,406 - The paper's right there. - I'm gonna call. 591 00:27:42,430 --> 00:27:43,664 - I'm gonna call him. - Okay. 592 00:27:43,698 --> 00:27:45,166 - signing off saying... - Now. 593 00:27:45,199 --> 00:27:48,002 - Call him, please. - Hoes got to eat too. 594 00:27:56,010 --> 00:27:57,678 Allie! 595 00:27:58,679 --> 00:28:01,115 This is my 17th message. 596 00:28:01,148 --> 00:28:04,018 Please call me back, okay? I'm looking for you. 597 00:28:04,051 --> 00:28:06,754 I'm worried about you. Call me back. 598 00:28:08,723 --> 00:28:10,124 Hey. 599 00:28:12,693 --> 00:28:14,171 Listen, I'm not letting you in my house 600 00:28:14,195 --> 00:28:16,030 so you can tell them same ghost stories... 601 00:28:16,063 --> 00:28:17,632 No, you need to see this for real. 602 00:28:17,665 --> 00:28:19,133 Snitch, do you read me? 603 00:28:19,166 --> 00:28:20,635 Look like a busted bike to me. 604 00:28:20,668 --> 00:28:23,104 No, look. This rico bike. 605 00:28:23,137 --> 00:28:25,806 - They done kidnapped rico, bro. - Dispatch to snitch, over. 606 00:28:25,840 --> 00:28:27,742 He don't go nowhere without this bike. 607 00:28:27,775 --> 00:28:30,153 His license suspended. He got no choice but to ride this bike. 608 00:28:30,177 --> 00:28:33,147 Look, rico is a grown man who done looked in the mirror 609 00:28:33,180 --> 00:28:35,016 and realized he ain't got no business 610 00:28:35,049 --> 00:28:37,985 being 50 years old on a tricycle. 611 00:28:38,019 --> 00:28:39,620 Or the vampires could have got him. 612 00:28:41,188 --> 00:28:42,757 Dispatch to snitch, over. 613 00:28:44,226 --> 00:28:46,193 Rico saw something last night. 614 00:28:46,228 --> 00:28:48,129 I think I bet the vampires snatched his ass up. 615 00:28:48,162 --> 00:28:50,164 Snitch, what is your 411? 616 00:28:50,197 --> 00:28:52,099 That's freezee's car. 617 00:28:52,133 --> 00:28:54,535 In there pimping my daughter! 618 00:29:01,909 --> 00:29:03,778 The sun's setting. 619 00:29:06,080 --> 00:29:08,716 The vampire's about to wake up. 620 00:29:08,749 --> 00:29:10,451 Don't invite him in. 621 00:29:13,688 --> 00:29:15,223 Imbecile! 622 00:29:15,257 --> 00:29:17,124 Damn it, man! You scared the hell out of me! 623 00:29:17,158 --> 00:29:19,794 Who the hell you callin' an imbecile? 624 00:29:19,827 --> 00:29:22,964 Now listen, you take your hands off of me! I don't know you! 625 00:29:27,535 --> 00:29:28,769 Whoop. 626 00:29:28,803 --> 00:29:30,638 - Stop playing! - Got you. 627 00:29:30,671 --> 00:29:31,772 You little bitch. 628 00:29:36,345 --> 00:29:38,913 No, but for real, though, this is crazy. What is we doing? 629 00:29:41,048 --> 00:29:42,783 I know Allie's in this house. 630 00:29:42,817 --> 00:29:44,685 Allie! 631 00:29:44,719 --> 00:29:46,997 These maniacs done kidnapped rico and you just banging on the door? 632 00:29:47,021 --> 00:29:48,622 I've been calling Allie all day 633 00:29:48,656 --> 00:29:50,033 and she ain't answer the phone. Relax. 634 00:29:50,057 --> 00:29:51,792 Allie! 635 00:29:51,826 --> 00:29:54,695 - What the fuck? - Can I help you, gentlemen? 636 00:29:54,729 --> 00:29:57,031 My daughter's in there, man. 637 00:29:57,064 --> 00:29:59,667 Come on, man. Give me my daughter back, man. This is crazy. 638 00:29:59,700 --> 00:30:01,936 You got the fuckin' Halloween shit going on? 639 00:30:01,969 --> 00:30:03,771 That's my daughter! 640 00:30:03,804 --> 00:30:06,308 I'm sure I don't know what you mean, neighbor. 641 00:30:06,341 --> 00:30:08,243 The car is in the back. 642 00:30:08,276 --> 00:30:10,245 I've been looking for my daughter all day. 643 00:30:10,278 --> 00:30:11,779 Your pimping gonna stop. 644 00:30:11,812 --> 00:30:13,281 God don't like ugly, man. 645 00:30:13,315 --> 00:30:16,851 Mr. Black, your daughter is not in this house. 646 00:30:16,884 --> 00:30:17,918 Ah! 647 00:30:20,288 --> 00:30:22,957 Can I come in the house? 648 00:30:22,990 --> 00:30:25,059 The doctor will not be here until later. 649 00:30:25,092 --> 00:30:28,132 I wonder why? You got all them dead bodies in there you don't want us to see? 650 00:30:28,162 --> 00:30:31,299 But, if you'd like to come in, Mr. Black, 651 00:30:31,333 --> 00:30:36,637 you will find out in fact that your daughter is not in this house. 652 00:30:36,670 --> 00:30:38,582 - We can come in and search the whole... - Mr. Black, please. 653 00:30:38,606 --> 00:30:39,983 You want... that's what you want us to do? 654 00:30:40,007 --> 00:30:41,542 Please. 655 00:30:43,911 --> 00:30:45,046 Be my guest. 656 00:30:45,079 --> 00:30:47,081 You want some real niggas... 657 00:30:47,114 --> 00:30:48,350 Enjoy yourselves, please. 658 00:30:48,383 --> 00:30:49,950 - Come in your house? - Go. 659 00:30:52,320 --> 00:30:54,356 Hey, stop. 660 00:30:57,392 --> 00:30:58,626 Allie! 661 00:30:58,659 --> 00:31:00,228 Allie! 662 00:31:01,929 --> 00:31:03,964 What? 663 00:31:03,998 --> 00:31:06,133 - Carl, look at this shit. - What? 664 00:31:12,407 --> 00:31:15,042 That shit look crazy, man. 665 00:31:15,076 --> 00:31:17,011 What the fuck is that dog thing right there? 666 00:31:17,044 --> 00:31:18,213 - Mr. Black! - Hey! Shit! 667 00:31:18,246 --> 00:31:20,014 Damn, bro! What the fuck is going on? 668 00:31:20,047 --> 00:31:21,225 - What's wrong with you, bro? - Don't touch these dolls. 669 00:31:21,249 --> 00:31:23,050 What is wrong with you? 670 00:31:23,084 --> 00:31:27,655 These are very, very expensive west African voodoo totems. 671 00:31:27,688 --> 00:31:29,723 - The doctor is a collector. - Allie! 672 00:31:32,227 --> 00:31:33,261 Allie! 673 00:31:37,731 --> 00:31:39,234 Allie! Whoa! 674 00:31:40,134 --> 00:31:42,204 - Is my daddy in here? - Please come in, Allie. 675 00:31:42,237 --> 00:31:43,238 Carl. 676 00:31:45,005 --> 00:31:46,107 - What? - Guess who come in. 677 00:31:46,140 --> 00:31:47,875 Dad! What are you doing here? 678 00:31:47,908 --> 00:31:50,177 Allie, what are you doing? Where your ass been at? 679 00:31:50,212 --> 00:31:51,413 What the hell's going on? 680 00:31:51,446 --> 00:31:53,147 Why are you in these nice people's house? 681 00:31:53,180 --> 00:31:55,350 These people ain't nice. This is a pimp's house. 682 00:31:55,383 --> 00:31:57,285 - This is a nice house. - Oh, my god. 683 00:31:57,319 --> 00:31:59,221 Man, this is crazy! Look, he's been putting 684 00:31:59,254 --> 00:32:01,856 all kind of crazy stories in my head about you. 685 00:32:01,889 --> 00:32:03,691 The car's in the back... 686 00:32:03,724 --> 00:32:06,328 See, I knew you were going to be tripping when you found out. 687 00:32:06,361 --> 00:32:08,729 God. Found out what? 688 00:32:09,531 --> 00:32:12,032 I just gotta tell you. I'm just going to say it. 689 00:32:14,135 --> 00:32:16,070 - I'm movin' out. - Movin' out where? 690 00:32:16,103 --> 00:32:18,139 Me and freezee are going to get married 691 00:32:18,172 --> 00:32:19,807 and we're going to make a life together. 692 00:32:19,840 --> 00:32:22,210 I will take my belt off and tear your ass up. 693 00:32:22,244 --> 00:32:25,079 Daddy, I can make my own choices. It's called feminism. 694 00:32:25,112 --> 00:32:28,383 Oh, I know all about liberating some women. 695 00:32:28,416 --> 00:32:30,252 - You hear that? - Yeah. 696 00:32:38,893 --> 00:32:43,797 Let me introduce Dr. Mamuwalde! 697 00:32:46,401 --> 00:32:48,836 Dr. Mamuwalde. 698 00:32:49,803 --> 00:32:52,006 Dr. Mamuwalde. 699 00:32:52,039 --> 00:32:54,276 Dr. Mamuwalde. 700 00:32:55,310 --> 00:32:57,345 Dr. Mamuwalde. 701 00:32:58,346 --> 00:33:00,848 Dr. Mamuwalde. 702 00:33:01,815 --> 00:33:03,751 So beautiful. 703 00:33:03,784 --> 00:33:05,920 Dr. Mamuwalde. 704 00:33:07,422 --> 00:33:10,191 Dr. Mamuwalde. 705 00:33:10,958 --> 00:33:13,928 Dr. Mamuwalde. 706 00:33:13,961 --> 00:33:16,498 Is that a black bite-sized Hugh Hefner? 707 00:33:16,531 --> 00:33:19,166 Dr. Mamuwalde. 708 00:33:19,200 --> 00:33:21,769 Dr. Mamuwalde. 709 00:33:22,970 --> 00:33:25,273 Dr. Mamuwalde. 710 00:33:25,307 --> 00:33:26,907 All right, man. 711 00:33:26,941 --> 00:33:29,910 Monty, I told you, three times. 712 00:33:29,944 --> 00:33:31,446 Yeah, nigga, damn. 713 00:33:31,479 --> 00:33:33,248 Every day is a struggle, 714 00:33:33,281 --> 00:33:36,451 but every night is a feast, you feel me? 715 00:33:36,484 --> 00:33:39,954 Carl black! Show me some love. 716 00:33:39,987 --> 00:33:41,299 I can give you some from right here. 717 00:33:41,323 --> 00:33:43,023 I can't come over and give up no... 718 00:33:43,057 --> 00:33:45,393 - No love shit, dog. - Mm-mm. 719 00:33:45,427 --> 00:33:49,431 Welcome to my humble abode, Carl black. 720 00:33:49,464 --> 00:33:51,466 How the fuck do you know my name? 721 00:33:51,499 --> 00:33:54,768 That's what's crazy. You been on my ig page? 722 00:33:54,802 --> 00:33:57,104 Oh, I've had my third eye on you. 723 00:33:57,137 --> 00:33:58,815 I mean, if it was about that shit the other night, 724 00:33:58,839 --> 00:34:00,050 all right, look, I ain't got... 725 00:34:00,074 --> 00:34:02,510 The doctor is a fan of your book... 726 00:34:02,544 --> 00:34:03,545 - Ooh. - Mr. Black. 727 00:34:03,578 --> 00:34:05,513 Shit. Mm. 728 00:34:05,547 --> 00:34:08,182 And doodoo is a fan of your mouth. 729 00:34:08,216 --> 00:34:10,184 - Dad. - You know my book? 730 00:34:10,218 --> 00:34:11,553 - Wow. - Mm. 731 00:34:11,586 --> 00:34:13,187 I told you, you got to get back in there. 732 00:34:13,221 --> 00:34:15,290 You know he's in, uh, a tough spot right now. 733 00:34:15,323 --> 00:34:16,800 - He's in a artistic bind. - Yeah. I'm trying to write a new book. 734 00:34:16,824 --> 00:34:18,493 Yeah. You see, the first one was good. 735 00:34:18,526 --> 00:34:20,338 - Yeah. The second one. - Now, I'm trying to do... 736 00:34:20,362 --> 00:34:22,373 - I'm trying to do the second one. - Gotta be off the chain. 737 00:34:22,397 --> 00:34:24,031 It's a fine piece of literature. 738 00:34:24,064 --> 00:34:26,033 The shit was a modern-day classic. 739 00:34:27,535 --> 00:34:29,471 Dr. Mamuwalde. 740 00:34:29,504 --> 00:34:33,107 What type of medicine you practice, bro? 741 00:34:33,140 --> 00:34:35,343 I practice the type of medicine 742 00:34:35,377 --> 00:34:37,911 for those with a particular affliction. 743 00:34:37,945 --> 00:34:40,848 Take two of these and call me in the morning. 744 00:34:42,082 --> 00:34:44,286 Oh, this. 745 00:34:44,319 --> 00:34:45,420 Bless his name. 746 00:34:45,453 --> 00:34:47,322 I knew you was a pimp. 747 00:34:47,355 --> 00:34:49,890 - Ha. Such harsh language, Mr. Black. - Yeah. 748 00:34:49,923 --> 00:34:52,159 I am a purveyor and provocateur 749 00:34:52,192 --> 00:34:56,063 of fine ass bitches and high-priced pleasure. 750 00:34:56,096 --> 00:34:58,466 I know what I'm looking at when I see it. 751 00:34:58,500 --> 00:35:00,278 Hold on. Wait a minute, little George Jefferson. 752 00:35:00,302 --> 00:35:02,903 We ain't doing no provocative nothin' around here. 753 00:35:02,936 --> 00:35:04,306 This is my daughter. 754 00:35:04,339 --> 00:35:06,341 Ain't nothin' going up in there but a tampon. 755 00:35:06,374 --> 00:35:07,941 - Daddy! - Mr. Black, I assure you, 756 00:35:07,975 --> 00:35:11,078 I may be a pimp, but I am no monster. 757 00:35:11,111 --> 00:35:13,581 Matter of fact, to prove my point, 758 00:35:13,615 --> 00:35:18,952 allow me. A mind is a terrible thing to waste. 759 00:35:18,986 --> 00:35:21,188 This is for your education. 760 00:35:21,222 --> 00:35:22,223 Really? 761 00:35:26,661 --> 00:35:28,496 - No. - Ooh. Daddy! 762 00:35:28,530 --> 00:35:31,299 No! We ain't raisin' no thots around here! 763 00:35:31,333 --> 00:35:33,176 - We ain't doing no thotin'! - But we need the money! 764 00:35:33,200 --> 00:35:35,570 You... but we ain't getting the money that kind of way. 765 00:35:35,603 --> 00:35:38,406 We sellin' books around here, not pussy! 766 00:35:38,440 --> 00:35:41,141 The black man has yet again said no to education. 767 00:35:41,175 --> 00:35:43,511 - Fuck you! Come on. Get your ass out of here. - Daddy! 768 00:35:43,545 --> 00:35:45,989 - Why are you always yelling at people? - Fuck you, Mr. Mamuwalde. 769 00:35:46,013 --> 00:35:47,915 Thank you, nice man! 770 00:35:47,948 --> 00:35:50,618 Well, let me just say I'm having a soirée tomorrow night 771 00:35:50,652 --> 00:35:52,920 and I would be honored if you would join me. 772 00:35:52,953 --> 00:35:54,823 I'm expensive! 773 00:35:59,227 --> 00:36:02,330 Tomorrow night is the soirée. 774 00:36:02,364 --> 00:36:03,398 Oh, oh. 775 00:36:05,032 --> 00:36:08,303 - Save them for me. - We expect to be seeing you. 776 00:36:22,015 --> 00:36:23,251 You always do this, daddy. 777 00:36:23,284 --> 00:36:25,152 Why wouldn't you let that pretty man help me? 778 00:36:25,185 --> 00:36:27,255 Dolomite was trying to get in your panties. 779 00:36:27,288 --> 00:36:29,156 - We don't need his money. - No. 780 00:36:29,189 --> 00:36:31,693 We don't need the money. I need the money, dad. 781 00:36:31,726 --> 00:36:34,362 I just want to get my education, so I don't end up like you. 782 00:36:34,396 --> 00:36:35,597 - Like me? - Yes, daddy. 783 00:36:35,630 --> 00:36:37,064 Just write the book or get a job. 784 00:36:37,097 --> 00:36:38,366 Get a job, broke nigga! 785 00:36:38,400 --> 00:36:40,167 I got some money on your hair, freezee. 786 00:36:40,200 --> 00:36:42,035 I'm about to unthaw yo ass. 787 00:36:42,069 --> 00:36:43,638 - I'm leaving. - Allie. 788 00:36:43,671 --> 00:36:45,416 And me and freezee are gonna live happily ever after together. 789 00:36:45,440 --> 00:36:47,050 - Allie black. - That is what we're doing. 790 00:36:47,074 --> 00:36:48,443 - Freezee! Let's go! - Allie black. 791 00:36:48,476 --> 00:36:49,943 Allie! Allie! 792 00:36:49,977 --> 00:36:51,222 I think she just called you a dumbass. 793 00:36:51,246 --> 00:36:52,356 Stop yelling in the neighborhood! 794 00:36:52,380 --> 00:36:54,181 - Allie. - We're going. 795 00:36:54,215 --> 00:36:56,217 - Baby, tuck my legs in. - I got you. 796 00:36:57,318 --> 00:36:59,086 - Baby. - Look at that. 797 00:36:59,119 --> 00:37:00,622 Always falling like this. 798 00:37:00,655 --> 00:37:02,424 Carl! 799 00:37:02,457 --> 00:37:04,735 Why is she leaving like that, baby? We just talked about this. 800 00:37:04,759 --> 00:37:06,694 - Baby, I... - Well-well, the neighbor next door 801 00:37:06,728 --> 00:37:08,996 tried to give some goddamn vampire pimp money 802 00:37:09,029 --> 00:37:11,399 to Allie for school and goddamn hatin' ass Carl, 803 00:37:11,433 --> 00:37:14,269 he gon' take the money and throw it back in the goddamn vampire face 804 00:37:14,302 --> 00:37:15,670 and goddamn Allie, goddamn... 805 00:37:15,703 --> 00:37:19,039 Hey, hey, hey, hey, calm down, little infant! 806 00:37:19,072 --> 00:37:21,108 Vampire? Vampire pimp? 807 00:37:21,141 --> 00:37:23,387 That's what you guys are out here talking about right now? 808 00:37:23,411 --> 00:37:25,979 - No. It ain't even like that. - We just had this conversation. 809 00:37:26,013 --> 00:37:28,683 - Hey. - I'm tired of all this craziness. 810 00:37:28,716 --> 00:37:30,694 Did you call the real estate agent like I asked you to? 811 00:37:30,718 --> 00:37:33,688 Called the real estate agent. I... I left a message for him. 812 00:37:33,721 --> 00:37:36,558 Look, Carl, I'll call him, just like I do 813 00:37:36,591 --> 00:37:38,693 - everything else around here, okay? - Oh-oh. 814 00:37:38,726 --> 00:37:41,439 But you know what, we need to talk tonight when I get home from work. 815 00:37:41,463 --> 00:37:43,298 Oh-oh. 816 00:37:43,331 --> 00:37:45,300 - Babe, don't do that. - I gotta go to work. 817 00:37:45,333 --> 00:37:47,043 - She's gonna cheat on you. - Shut up, cronut. 818 00:37:47,067 --> 00:37:48,168 It's me, baby. 819 00:37:48,203 --> 00:37:49,537 - Yeah. - Babe. 820 00:37:50,738 --> 00:37:53,208 Yeah, she gonna cheat on you. 821 00:37:54,609 --> 00:37:56,244 I'm gonna cheat on you. 822 00:37:56,277 --> 00:37:58,546 Carl. Carl. 823 00:38:00,080 --> 00:38:01,316 Carl! 824 00:38:01,349 --> 00:38:03,183 - Carl! - What? 825 00:38:03,218 --> 00:38:05,128 Gotta listen to me. You gotta hear me out for real. 826 00:38:05,152 --> 00:38:07,120 I know you're going through a lot. 827 00:38:07,154 --> 00:38:09,366 I know your old lady trippin', I know your daughter trippin', 828 00:38:09,390 --> 00:38:10,668 I know you have a writer's block, 829 00:38:10,692 --> 00:38:12,594 but please, bro, just listen to me. 830 00:38:12,627 --> 00:38:15,663 Go home. All right? It's over. 831 00:38:15,697 --> 00:38:17,432 I'm movin' the fuck out of this house. 832 00:38:17,465 --> 00:38:19,501 This our house! We can't let him move us out. 833 00:38:19,534 --> 00:38:21,679 - I don't wannna hear that shit. - I gotta tell you this for real. 834 00:38:21,703 --> 00:38:24,606 Guess what I found while you was talking to the pimp vampire? 835 00:38:24,639 --> 00:38:26,741 These rico glasses, man. They probably got him. 836 00:38:26,774 --> 00:38:29,410 They done... they done drunk all his blood and everything, man. 837 00:38:29,444 --> 00:38:31,713 Stop! That motherfucker just tried to play me. 838 00:38:31,746 --> 00:38:33,146 He's going to jail. 839 00:38:33,180 --> 00:38:35,383 Three hots and a cot, he's going to jail. 840 00:38:35,416 --> 00:38:37,485 So, what you gonna do about it? 841 00:38:37,519 --> 00:38:39,563 The little motherfucker's going to jail for pimping and pandering around here. 842 00:38:39,587 --> 00:38:41,121 What you mean, what I'm gonna do? 843 00:38:41,154 --> 00:38:44,124 Police ain't never arrestin' no goddamn vampire. 844 00:38:44,157 --> 00:38:45,827 That's shit, okay? 845 00:38:45,860 --> 00:38:48,263 Did you see he floated down the stairs? 846 00:38:48,296 --> 00:38:49,731 You didn't see him float? 847 00:38:49,764 --> 00:38:51,566 911, what's your emergency? 848 00:38:51,599 --> 00:38:53,668 Yes, I have a problem here. 849 00:38:53,701 --> 00:38:56,337 Um, I'm a new neighbor 850 00:38:56,371 --> 00:38:58,306 that just moved in the neighborhood. 851 00:38:58,339 --> 00:39:00,241 As you can tell, I'm Caucasian. 852 00:39:00,275 --> 00:39:02,777 And there's a real peculiar guy. 853 00:39:02,810 --> 00:39:04,779 - Is he black? Okay. - Yes, he's black. 854 00:39:04,812 --> 00:39:06,347 We'll send over five units right away. 855 00:39:06,381 --> 00:39:07,782 Okay, you'll be here in a second? 856 00:39:07,815 --> 00:39:09,851 - Right away. - Thank you. 857 00:39:09,884 --> 00:39:13,221 That's how you do that. 858 00:39:13,254 --> 00:39:14,589 He's going to jail. 859 00:39:24,465 --> 00:39:26,334 Hey, hey, hey, hey, fall back, fall back. 860 00:39:26,367 --> 00:39:28,336 - What's going on? - I'm the lead cop on this. 861 00:39:28,369 --> 00:39:30,548 - Laced, you're a rookie. - Listen, I'm just tryin' to have some fun. 862 00:39:30,572 --> 00:39:32,607 I said fall back, man. 863 00:39:32,640 --> 00:39:34,385 Listen, I got my gun. I'm going to this house to have some fun. 864 00:39:34,409 --> 00:39:35,643 Do my thing. 865 00:39:37,211 --> 00:39:39,681 All right. Go ahead. Handle this. 866 00:39:39,714 --> 00:39:41,382 What kind of spooky shit is this? 867 00:39:41,416 --> 00:39:44,218 First time bein' a cop. This is gonna be a breeze. 868 00:39:44,252 --> 00:39:46,287 That like a old couple relationship. 869 00:39:52,327 --> 00:39:53,695 Come on out of there 870 00:39:53,728 --> 00:39:55,630 - before I put a hot one in your ass! - Hold on. 871 00:39:55,663 --> 00:39:56,907 There'll be no gun violence. Put your gun down. This is my first day. 872 00:39:56,931 --> 00:39:58,633 Shut up and stop being a little bitch. 873 00:40:03,338 --> 00:40:05,473 Two of them in up there, weird as hell. 874 00:40:05,506 --> 00:40:07,408 Lock his ass up. 875 00:40:07,442 --> 00:40:08,543 He got rico. 876 00:40:11,346 --> 00:40:14,549 - Police. - Good heavens! What is all the fuss? 877 00:40:14,582 --> 00:40:17,785 Oh, a father and son team, splendid. 878 00:40:17,819 --> 00:40:19,854 What may I do for you, dark-skinned hutch? 879 00:40:19,887 --> 00:40:22,624 Listen, big fella. Dude down there saying y'all been involved 880 00:40:22,657 --> 00:40:24,792 in the kidnappin' of the neighborhood watch captain? 881 00:40:24,826 --> 00:40:26,159 Rico. 882 00:40:26,193 --> 00:40:27,495 - So y'all kidnap him? - Yeah. 883 00:40:27,528 --> 00:40:28,706 And I heard you got hoes all up in through there. 884 00:40:28,730 --> 00:40:29,864 Y'all freaky-freaky, huh? 885 00:40:29,897 --> 00:40:31,499 Not at all, sir. 886 00:40:31,532 --> 00:40:33,835 This is the residence of Dr. Mamuwalde. 887 00:40:33,868 --> 00:40:36,604 - Mama-who? - Can't a man pimp in peace? 888 00:40:38,439 --> 00:40:40,875 The name is Dr. Mamuwalde. 889 00:40:42,410 --> 00:40:44,379 - Shit. - He trippin'-trippin'. 890 00:40:44,412 --> 00:40:46,280 I hope they get his ass, man. 891 00:40:46,314 --> 00:40:47,958 Listen, big fella, do you mind if I have a look inside, 892 00:40:47,982 --> 00:40:49,584 see what's going on see what I can steal? 893 00:40:49,617 --> 00:40:51,362 I mean, just see what's going on in the house. 894 00:40:51,386 --> 00:40:54,589 Absolutely. My house is your house, officer. 895 00:40:54,622 --> 00:40:56,391 Feel free to look around 896 00:40:56,424 --> 00:40:59,661 - as soon as you present your warrant. - He trippin'. 897 00:40:59,694 --> 00:41:01,462 - Warrant? - Yes, warrant. 898 00:41:01,496 --> 00:41:04,298 What the fuck? You 'posed to be an expert on the law now? 899 00:41:04,332 --> 00:41:07,301 I'm gonna show you what we do with experts down here, hm? 900 00:41:07,335 --> 00:41:08,703 Hold on, what you doing? 901 00:41:08,736 --> 00:41:10,772 No! Put the taser off! Put the taser off! 902 00:41:10,805 --> 00:41:13,474 - You trippin'-trippin'. - Uh-huh, bust him. Bust him. 903 00:41:13,508 --> 00:41:15,710 - Put your taser off. - Don't eyeball me, boy. 904 00:41:15,743 --> 00:41:17,412 Don't play with me. 905 00:41:17,445 --> 00:41:18,856 We just want to know if you know about the whereabouts 906 00:41:18,880 --> 00:41:21,349 of this rico guy. Where is rico? 907 00:41:21,382 --> 00:41:24,652 You're the one supposed to be looking 908 00:41:24,686 --> 00:41:27,555 for whoever you're looking for, sir. 909 00:41:27,588 --> 00:41:30,792 I don't know who rico is and you can't make me. 910 00:41:30,825 --> 00:41:32,326 He's lying, man. 911 00:41:32,360 --> 00:41:33,961 How y'all gonna believe 912 00:41:33,995 --> 00:41:36,931 somebody dressed like Dr. Seuss is what I'm sayin'? 913 00:41:36,964 --> 00:41:38,933 What do you do, sir? For a living? 914 00:41:38,966 --> 00:41:42,770 Well, for a living, I take fantasy and dreams 915 00:41:42,804 --> 00:41:45,840 and I make them into reality. 916 00:41:45,873 --> 00:41:49,343 Let me tell you something, creepy motherfucker. You got two options. 917 00:41:49,377 --> 00:41:53,514 Option a, we look around inside this spooky motherfucker, 918 00:41:53,548 --> 00:41:55,817 or option b, we're gonna arrest your ass, 919 00:41:55,850 --> 00:41:58,328 take you down to the precinct, ask you a bunch of goddamn questions. 920 00:41:58,352 --> 00:42:00,855 He's going to jail. That's what I'm talking about. 921 00:42:00,888 --> 00:42:03,324 I'll take... I haven't even chosen my options. 922 00:42:03,357 --> 00:42:04,968 Oh, we're gonna do it. We're gonna take him now. 923 00:42:04,992 --> 00:42:07,562 Option a, I don't. Option b... 924 00:42:07,595 --> 00:42:08,939 We're gonna take you downtown, midnite. 925 00:42:08,963 --> 00:42:10,665 Wait a minute. 926 00:42:10,698 --> 00:42:13,701 How can you call me "midnight" as dark as you are... 927 00:42:13,735 --> 00:42:16,270 - What? What did you say? - Ith all due respect, officer? 928 00:42:16,304 --> 00:42:19,307 Well, if I'm midnight, aren't you two nights? 929 00:42:19,340 --> 00:42:21,385 There ain't shit you're gonna do about it. Come on with your little... 930 00:42:21,409 --> 00:42:22,920 - Stop resisting. - They're taking him to jail. 931 00:42:22,944 --> 00:42:24,946 That's what I'm talking about. Do your job. 932 00:42:24,979 --> 00:42:27,381 This is definitely black on black crime. 933 00:42:27,415 --> 00:42:29,517 Hey, I got it. Take his black ass down. 934 00:42:42,697 --> 00:42:44,031 Officer! 935 00:42:44,065 --> 00:42:45,900 I believe there's been a misunderstanding. 936 00:42:48,035 --> 00:42:49,771 Do you mean this rico? 937 00:42:55,042 --> 00:42:57,445 Rico, what the fuck you doing in there? 938 00:42:57,478 --> 00:43:00,648 I'm fine. I was just in the basement... 939 00:43:00,681 --> 00:43:02,459 They didn't fondle with you down there, did they? 940 00:43:02,483 --> 00:43:03,851 They did me fine. 941 00:43:03,885 --> 00:43:06,954 - They served me fresh bananas. - From Honduras. 942 00:43:06,988 --> 00:43:08,422 Bananas in the basement? 943 00:43:08,456 --> 00:43:10,091 They done brainwashed his crazy ass. 944 00:43:10,124 --> 00:43:11,492 They did more than brainwashing. 945 00:43:11,526 --> 00:43:13,427 Somethin' ain't right with him. 946 00:43:27,108 --> 00:43:29,977 Come to me, Lorena. 947 00:43:37,885 --> 00:43:40,488 Come to me, Lorena. 948 00:43:41,622 --> 00:43:43,958 I've been searching for you. 949 00:43:45,960 --> 00:43:51,599 Are you feeling my breath upon your corpuscle? 950 00:44:01,943 --> 00:44:03,778 What kind of cop shit is this? 951 00:44:03,811 --> 00:44:05,112 Y'all let him go? 952 00:44:05,146 --> 00:44:07,682 Mr. Black, you call us down here again 953 00:44:07,715 --> 00:44:08,950 and waste our damn time, 954 00:44:08,983 --> 00:44:11,552 I'm gonna take your ashy ass to jail. 955 00:44:11,586 --> 00:44:13,087 We cop cops. This ain't no damn joke! 956 00:44:13,120 --> 00:44:15,590 Man, if you don't get your retarded ass... 957 00:44:15,623 --> 00:44:18,960 You better watch your mouth, before I stick these goddamn handcuffs up your ass. 958 00:44:18,993 --> 00:44:21,095 Don't eyeball me, boy. 959 00:44:21,128 --> 00:44:22,964 Let's go. 960 00:44:24,999 --> 00:44:27,735 Carl, why are you here with the police? 961 00:44:27,768 --> 00:44:29,570 What did the neighbor do to you? 962 00:44:29,604 --> 00:44:32,015 This is what happens when you keep messing with the neighbors. 963 00:44:32,039 --> 00:44:33,608 Why are you blamin' him for everything? 964 00:44:33,641 --> 00:44:35,543 Because clearly, I see you out here too. 965 00:44:35,576 --> 00:44:37,754 For real, this is your plan. Don't try to put this on me. 966 00:44:37,778 --> 00:44:39,614 - We're movin' out. - What do you mean? Wait! 967 00:44:39,647 --> 00:44:41,458 - Without you. - How you gonna move out without me? 968 00:44:41,482 --> 00:44:42,984 - We family. - No. We not family. 969 00:44:43,017 --> 00:44:44,886 You're just my cousin that fucks up everything. 970 00:44:44,919 --> 00:44:46,063 - That's family. - You know what? 971 00:44:46,087 --> 00:44:48,422 I'm tired of you always blamin' him. 972 00:44:48,456 --> 00:44:51,296 Look right here. This is what it's about, me and you. You're messing up. 973 00:44:58,833 --> 00:45:00,944 - Babe. I can explain. - You should be ashamed of yourself. 974 00:45:00,968 --> 00:45:04,472 The motherfucker was trying to disrespect me in front of my daughter. 975 00:45:04,505 --> 00:45:06,874 I'm tired of you embarrassing our family. 976 00:45:08,542 --> 00:45:10,478 You owe that man an apology. 977 00:45:10,511 --> 00:45:12,013 Babe... 978 00:45:13,648 --> 00:45:16,083 I don't know if this is it for us. 979 00:45:16,117 --> 00:45:19,921 I used to think it was the house, the neighborhood, your book. 980 00:45:19,954 --> 00:45:22,590 But it's not. 981 00:45:22,623 --> 00:45:25,192 It's you. 982 00:45:25,227 --> 00:45:26,994 It's you and I that don't work. 983 00:45:32,667 --> 00:45:36,137 I got to go back to work. So you figure that out. 984 00:45:37,972 --> 00:45:41,475 I'll apologize. I'll go apologize. 985 00:45:41,509 --> 00:45:44,912 I don't have a problem apologizing to him. 986 00:45:44,946 --> 00:45:47,581 Attack and bring me my wife. 987 00:45:49,150 --> 00:45:51,185 Right this way, Mr. Black. 988 00:45:51,219 --> 00:45:53,654 The good doctor'll be here to deal with you shortly. 989 00:45:53,688 --> 00:45:55,723 Hey, man. Did you just change your accent? 990 00:45:55,756 --> 00:45:58,893 Where'd he go? What the fuck was he saying? 991 00:46:00,728 --> 00:46:02,830 Wow. 992 00:46:02,863 --> 00:46:04,065 It's nice, though. 993 00:46:07,568 --> 00:46:08,836 - Carl black. - Hey! 994 00:46:08,869 --> 00:46:11,706 What the fuck! Jesus, Buddha, Allah! 995 00:46:13,241 --> 00:46:15,543 Is every place in here creepy? 996 00:46:15,576 --> 00:46:18,246 I thought I smelled failure in here. 997 00:46:18,280 --> 00:46:22,683 And I thought I smelled Celine Dion's wig also in here. 998 00:46:22,717 --> 00:46:25,119 You're a funny motherfucker, Carl. 999 00:46:25,152 --> 00:46:28,756 And I don't just mean that dumb expression on your face. 1000 00:46:28,789 --> 00:46:32,294 Yeah? Well, look, let me be straight up with you, all right? 1001 00:46:32,327 --> 00:46:33,861 - Thank you. - I don't like you. 1002 00:46:33,894 --> 00:46:35,062 First time I seen you, 1003 00:46:35,096 --> 00:46:37,299 - just didn't like you. - Okay. 1004 00:46:37,332 --> 00:46:41,569 My wife sent me over here to apologize to you and that's what I want to do. 1005 00:46:41,602 --> 00:46:44,071 I want to apologize, but I just want to let you know, 1006 00:46:44,105 --> 00:46:46,574 I don't give a fuck. 1007 00:46:46,607 --> 00:46:47,951 We getting the fuck out of this neighborhood. 1008 00:46:47,975 --> 00:46:50,578 Well, that's very interesting, green lantern, 1009 00:46:50,611 --> 00:46:52,747 but you can't leave just yet. 1010 00:46:52,780 --> 00:46:54,249 Oh, yes, I can! Shit! 1011 00:46:54,282 --> 00:46:55,750 My lease is up next month. 1012 00:46:57,952 --> 00:46:59,053 What's this? 1013 00:46:59,086 --> 00:47:00,955 There's something I want from you 1014 00:47:00,988 --> 00:47:03,124 and you're not leaving until I get it. 1015 00:47:03,157 --> 00:47:06,060 Man, I hope it's my nuts for these girls. 1016 00:47:06,093 --> 00:47:07,628 No! 1017 00:47:09,297 --> 00:47:12,867 My book. You like my book? 1018 00:47:12,900 --> 00:47:15,102 I told you I was a fan of your book. 1019 00:47:15,136 --> 00:47:17,571 - That is crazy. - It was magnificent. 1020 00:47:17,605 --> 00:47:18,773 You like my book. 1021 00:47:18,806 --> 00:47:20,875 I like you and your family, Carl. 1022 00:47:20,908 --> 00:47:22,109 And not everybody in my family 1023 00:47:22,143 --> 00:47:24,145 agreed with you moving in next door to us. 1024 00:47:24,178 --> 00:47:25,880 Your wife. 1025 00:47:25,913 --> 00:47:28,182 My wife? Lorena? 1026 00:47:28,216 --> 00:47:29,784 Lorena. 1027 00:47:29,817 --> 00:47:32,953 Oh, no. She ain't... She ain't into no pimping shit. 1028 00:47:32,987 --> 00:47:35,257 She ain't into no pimping shit and I ain't either, okay? 1029 00:47:35,290 --> 00:47:36,957 Tried it, didn't like it. 1030 00:47:36,991 --> 00:47:41,095 And my daughter? That's off limits. 1031 00:47:41,128 --> 00:47:43,864 You're too grown to be messing with anybody's daughter. 1032 00:47:43,898 --> 00:47:45,842 Ain't no man gonna let you mess with they daughter. 1033 00:47:45,866 --> 00:47:49,036 She's still a little girl. She's still doing juicy juices. 1034 00:47:49,070 --> 00:47:51,806 She's not a grown lady. She don't know what yak is, 1035 00:47:51,839 --> 00:47:53,741 nor does she know what gray goose is. 1036 00:47:53,774 --> 00:47:57,312 I had no idea how old she was. She was my size. 1037 00:47:57,345 --> 00:47:59,814 Keep your little one, two, three, four, five, 1038 00:47:59,847 --> 00:48:03,385 six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve fingers 1039 00:48:03,418 --> 00:48:05,719 away from my daughter, blah-blah. 1040 00:48:05,753 --> 00:48:06,954 Big mistake. 1041 00:48:06,987 --> 00:48:08,290 Don't fuck with my daughter. 1042 00:48:08,323 --> 00:48:10,758 And cronut, he's a character. 1043 00:48:10,791 --> 00:48:12,660 Oh, cronut? You can have him. 1044 00:48:12,693 --> 00:48:15,963 Ugh. No one wants cronut. 1045 00:48:15,996 --> 00:48:17,299 You can fuck him if you want. 1046 00:48:18,899 --> 00:48:21,303 He's crazy. He's the one that think 1047 00:48:21,336 --> 00:48:25,039 Michael Jackson and biggie and Tupac is still living, 1048 00:48:25,072 --> 00:48:27,708 and-and thinks o.J. Didn't do it. 1049 00:48:27,741 --> 00:48:29,344 He's got a whole lot of shit in his head. 1050 00:48:29,377 --> 00:48:32,214 And he gave me some crazy theories about you too. 1051 00:48:32,247 --> 00:48:35,983 I'MMA go ahead and sign this autograph 'fore I can get on out of here. 1052 00:48:38,052 --> 00:48:40,955 And what was his theory about me? 1053 00:48:40,988 --> 00:48:44,792 We still don't know why you moved in the neighborhood... 1054 00:49:02,042 --> 00:49:05,347 What the fuck! What's wrong with you? 1055 00:49:05,380 --> 00:49:08,383 Egad, Carl black. 1056 00:49:08,416 --> 00:49:11,051 Do I detect hostility in your voice? 1057 00:49:11,085 --> 00:49:12,720 I thought we were cool now. 1058 00:49:12,753 --> 00:49:14,021 No, we're not cool! 1059 00:49:14,054 --> 00:49:17,925 And you do detect hostility in my voice. 1060 00:49:17,958 --> 00:49:20,395 You got a picture of my wife naked on your fucking wall! 1061 00:49:20,428 --> 00:49:22,364 I ain't even got a picture of this bitch. 1062 00:49:22,397 --> 00:49:24,698 - Did you Photoshop the picture? - No. 1063 00:49:26,133 --> 00:49:27,302 No, that's her. 1064 00:49:27,335 --> 00:49:31,406 I bet I know what cronut thinks about me. 1065 00:49:31,439 --> 00:49:33,974 You know what? 1066 00:49:34,008 --> 00:49:37,412 He was right. 1067 00:50:00,402 --> 00:50:02,237 What are you doing? 1068 00:50:02,270 --> 00:50:04,004 Be quiet. I know what I'm doing. 1069 00:50:04,038 --> 00:50:05,839 Would you... Dad, come on. 1070 00:50:05,873 --> 00:50:07,942 Son, I got something I need to talk to you about. 1071 00:50:07,975 --> 00:50:09,743 All right. 1072 00:50:09,777 --> 00:50:12,146 We got a vampire living next door! I've seen him! 1073 00:50:12,179 --> 00:50:15,115 - Hey, that's cool! - I think I've seen that dude. 1074 00:50:15,149 --> 00:50:16,884 What's so... What the fuck is wrong... 1075 00:50:16,917 --> 00:50:18,286 What's cool about that? 1076 00:50:18,320 --> 00:50:21,055 Dad, dad, just relax. Just call the cops. 1077 00:50:21,088 --> 00:50:22,390 I can't call the cops. 1078 00:50:22,424 --> 00:50:24,259 Okay, everybody knows the vampire rules. 1079 00:50:24,292 --> 00:50:26,060 Like, a vampire cannot come in your house 1080 00:50:26,093 --> 00:50:28,496 unless you invite him in. Did you invite him in? 1081 00:50:28,530 --> 00:50:30,298 - No. I didn't invite him in. - All right. 1082 00:50:30,332 --> 00:50:31,875 All right, then you're good. That's good. 1083 00:50:31,899 --> 00:50:33,244 - I'm cool. Yeah. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. 1084 00:50:33,268 --> 00:50:34,835 Come on now. Everybody knows that. 1085 00:50:34,868 --> 00:50:36,380 It's in literally every vampire comic book. 1086 00:50:36,404 --> 00:50:37,472 Every one. 1087 00:50:37,505 --> 00:50:41,108 Oh, man. You got some weed? 1088 00:50:41,141 --> 00:50:42,977 Dad, what? Just leave. Just leave. 1089 00:50:44,212 --> 00:50:45,913 I know who got it. 1090 00:50:45,946 --> 00:50:47,948 No, he doesn't. He's kidding. Bro, shut up. 1091 00:50:47,982 --> 00:50:49,460 - A dime bag? Twenty? - No, no. Leave. Leave. He's kidding. 1092 00:50:49,484 --> 00:50:51,952 He's kidding. He's kidding. Go take a nap. 1093 00:50:51,986 --> 00:50:54,222 - But I do. - Just be quiet. Just stop. 1094 00:51:03,465 --> 00:51:05,799 I'm gonna watch you all night, motherfucker. 1095 00:51:36,598 --> 00:51:39,099 Don't invite him in. 1096 00:51:47,542 --> 00:51:49,444 Oh, shit. 1097 00:51:55,115 --> 00:51:56,284 Give me your money. 1098 00:51:56,318 --> 00:51:57,951 Please don't hurt me. 1099 00:51:57,985 --> 00:51:59,321 Please don't hurt... 1100 00:52:23,977 --> 00:52:26,013 Hi, Carl. 1101 00:52:32,152 --> 00:52:34,356 No. 1102 00:52:35,623 --> 00:52:37,459 No. I'm being serious. 1103 00:52:37,492 --> 00:52:41,363 I'm telling you, it's been an interesting week and I apologize. 1104 00:52:41,396 --> 00:52:44,432 I feel the timing of it all is pretty, um, special, 1105 00:52:44,466 --> 00:52:48,135 that you would... I don't know where you came from, but I appreciate it. 1106 00:52:48,168 --> 00:52:51,406 And I think it's important that we met tonight 1107 00:52:51,439 --> 00:52:53,584 because I wanted to really apologize for the other night. 1108 00:52:53,608 --> 00:52:56,244 I know my husband was in there tonight. 1109 00:52:56,277 --> 00:52:58,912 Is everything okay? Mamuwalde, right? 1110 00:52:58,946 --> 00:53:01,915 I have to, um, really get this out, 1111 00:53:01,949 --> 00:53:05,353 because I feel like I'm having a little bit of an out-of-body experience, 1112 00:53:05,387 --> 00:53:09,324 because I typically don't invite complete strangers into my house 1113 00:53:09,357 --> 00:53:12,594 to have a glass of wine. In this case... 1114 00:53:12,627 --> 00:53:14,529 Don't invite him in. 1115 00:53:18,666 --> 00:53:21,135 - Hey. - Thank you. I appreciate that. 1116 00:53:23,170 --> 00:53:24,539 What you doing? 1117 00:53:24,572 --> 00:53:26,307 Baby, hi. Hi. Were you sleeping? 1118 00:53:26,341 --> 00:53:29,444 What is he doing here? He's not supposed to be here. 1119 00:53:29,477 --> 00:53:32,347 Where are your manners, baby? This is Dr. Mamuwalde. 1120 00:53:32,380 --> 00:53:34,492 - Our neighbor from earlier... - I know what you doing! 1121 00:53:34,516 --> 00:53:36,351 Yes, where are your manners, baby? 1122 00:53:36,384 --> 00:53:38,319 He's not supposed to be in this house. 1123 00:53:38,353 --> 00:53:40,187 I invited him to have a glass of wine with me 1124 00:53:40,221 --> 00:53:41,955 because if anything, we owe him a thank you. 1125 00:53:41,989 --> 00:53:43,634 - I don't wanna hear all that. - If it wasn't for our neighbor, 1126 00:53:43,658 --> 00:53:45,226 I would have gotten mugged tonight. 1127 00:53:45,260 --> 00:53:47,362 You got mugged? 1128 00:53:47,395 --> 00:53:49,038 He swooped... where did you come from? Where? How did you get there? 1129 00:53:49,062 --> 00:53:51,332 - Swooped. - What happened? 1130 00:53:51,366 --> 00:53:55,270 Fortunately for you, I happened to be in the area looking for a late-night snack 1131 00:53:55,303 --> 00:53:59,207 and happened to stumble upon your tastiness. 1132 00:53:59,240 --> 00:54:00,675 He's not supposed to be in our home. 1133 00:54:00,708 --> 00:54:03,010 He was not invited by no one. 1134 00:54:03,043 --> 00:54:05,078 Under ordinary circumstances, 1135 00:54:05,112 --> 00:54:07,282 Carl black here would be right, 1136 00:54:07,315 --> 00:54:10,150 - but I was invited, Carl. - You know the rules. 1137 00:54:10,184 --> 00:54:12,687 - His kind is not invited in our house. - Listen... 1138 00:54:12,720 --> 00:54:15,055 - My kind? - Yeah. 1139 00:54:15,088 --> 00:54:18,626 That is a racist statement, negro. 1140 00:54:18,660 --> 00:54:20,728 I'll have you know, 1141 00:54:20,762 --> 00:54:24,699 in this age of divisiveness and bigotry, 1142 00:54:24,732 --> 00:54:27,201 we can't do this to each other. 1143 00:54:28,369 --> 00:54:29,537 Sheesh! 1144 00:54:29,571 --> 00:54:31,706 Yes. Baby, listen, please just calm down. 1145 00:54:31,739 --> 00:54:33,741 We got a real live vampire in my house 1146 00:54:33,775 --> 00:54:35,276 and you're telling me to calm down? 1147 00:54:35,310 --> 00:54:37,579 If I had a wife as fine as yours, 1148 00:54:37,612 --> 00:54:40,315 I'd never let her out of my sight. 1149 00:54:40,348 --> 00:54:42,750 Hey, man! What-what-what you doing? You can't do that, man. 1150 00:54:42,784 --> 00:54:44,495 What the fuck! What if I grab your hair, man? 1151 00:54:44,519 --> 00:54:48,188 Do not... 1152 00:54:48,223 --> 00:54:51,058 Touch my hair, Carl black. 1153 00:54:51,091 --> 00:54:52,460 You got two Bo Derek braids 1154 00:54:52,494 --> 00:54:54,027 hanging on both sides of your face 1155 00:54:54,061 --> 00:54:56,264 and you gon' touch on my girl's shit. 1156 00:54:56,297 --> 00:54:58,533 Baby, just calm down, okay? 1157 00:54:58,566 --> 00:55:00,635 Okay, that's enough. That's enough. 1158 00:55:00,668 --> 00:55:02,737 - Oh, I'm sorry. - What are you doing, Carl? 1159 00:55:02,770 --> 00:55:04,506 I'm sorry. I didn't mean it. 1160 00:55:04,539 --> 00:55:06,608 - Ouch! - You know I'm clumsy a little bit. 1161 00:55:28,161 --> 00:55:31,332 That looks exquisitely painful. 1162 00:55:31,366 --> 00:55:33,535 Ah-ah-ah. Go in there and rinse your arm off. 1163 00:55:33,568 --> 00:55:35,312 - I got it, Carl. I got it. - Yeah, you cut your hand 1164 00:55:35,336 --> 00:55:37,705 'cause you're standing up there reckless eyeballing. 1165 00:55:37,739 --> 00:55:39,274 I got it. Dr. Mamuwalde, 1166 00:55:39,307 --> 00:55:41,676 it was really, really nice to meet you. 1167 00:55:41,709 --> 00:55:44,153 - Well, go wash your hand, baby. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. - Yeah, I'm... 1168 00:55:44,177 --> 00:55:45,313 Put a band-aid on it. 1169 00:55:45,346 --> 00:55:47,615 O-positive we'll see each other again. 1170 00:55:47,649 --> 00:55:50,585 Listen, you little neglected Harry Potter cast member, 1171 00:55:50,618 --> 00:55:52,520 let me tell you something. 1172 00:55:52,554 --> 00:55:55,757 That's my Princess, and that's my wife, and I love her. 1173 00:55:55,790 --> 00:55:57,825 You're not going to destroy my family! 1174 00:55:57,859 --> 00:56:01,161 What do you intend to do about it, Carl black? 1175 00:56:01,194 --> 00:56:03,498 Install my cable, motherfucker? 1176 00:56:03,531 --> 00:56:05,366 Nah. 1177 00:56:05,400 --> 00:56:10,170 I'm gonna pimp-slap the shit out of your ass, motherfucker! 1178 00:56:13,274 --> 00:56:14,576 Damn, you're strong! 1179 00:56:14,609 --> 00:56:18,379 Let me tell you a little story. 1180 00:56:20,415 --> 00:56:24,352 I've been looking for Lorena for centuries. 1181 00:56:24,385 --> 00:56:29,189 I first laid eyes on that fine young thing in the Caribbean. 1182 00:56:29,223 --> 00:56:32,660 Lost her, found her again. 1183 00:56:32,694 --> 00:56:37,365 I've seen all types of women in all shapes and sizes, 1184 00:56:37,398 --> 00:56:41,536 but none compare to the governor's daughter. 1185 00:56:41,569 --> 00:56:43,271 We were in love 1186 00:56:43,304 --> 00:56:46,474 and I was finally going to make her mine. 1187 00:56:59,787 --> 00:57:02,690 You were warned, vampire. 1188 00:57:03,558 --> 00:57:08,563 Tonight's the night that I send your soul to hell! 1189 00:57:08,596 --> 00:57:10,565 Demon! 1190 00:57:10,598 --> 00:57:13,301 Come, woman. 1191 00:57:13,334 --> 00:57:15,570 No. No. No! 1192 00:57:15,603 --> 00:57:18,573 They took the love of my life from me 1193 00:57:18,606 --> 00:57:22,777 and I have been looking for my puerto rican Princess ever since. 1194 00:57:26,814 --> 00:57:30,284 Go to hell, vampire. 1195 00:57:33,821 --> 00:57:36,791 They took my life. 1196 00:57:39,527 --> 00:57:41,462 Man, that was a cool story! 1197 00:57:41,496 --> 00:57:46,234 But the real fact is, is that's my wife, and I love her. 1198 00:57:46,267 --> 00:57:47,835 And you're not gonna destroy my family. 1199 00:57:47,869 --> 00:57:51,439 You're doing a pretty good job of that yourself. 1200 00:57:51,472 --> 00:57:52,874 What the fuck? 1201 00:57:52,907 --> 00:57:54,809 She will be mine. 1202 00:57:58,246 --> 00:58:00,581 No, no! 1203 00:58:01,883 --> 00:58:03,451 Mine... 1204 00:58:03,484 --> 00:58:04,952 Carl black! 1205 00:58:13,961 --> 00:58:16,898 The authorities are still in shambles 1206 00:58:16,931 --> 00:58:19,233 as they scurry about for clues 1207 00:58:19,267 --> 00:58:22,303 - in the murders of these prostitutes. - Wow. 1208 00:58:22,336 --> 00:58:25,673 If anyone out there has any information or any leads... 1209 00:58:25,707 --> 00:58:27,675 - Damn. - Feel free 1210 00:58:27,709 --> 00:58:30,712 to dm me personally at Jack... 1211 00:58:30,745 --> 00:58:33,281 Hey, babe. Hey, hey. 1212 00:58:33,314 --> 00:58:35,650 - How's your arm? - It's better. It's feeling good. 1213 00:58:35,683 --> 00:58:37,785 - I gotta go to work. What? - No! 1214 00:58:37,819 --> 00:58:39,296 - Why you gotta go to work? - Because you put me in this situation. 1215 00:58:39,320 --> 00:58:40,531 I got to go to work to pay the bills. 1216 00:58:40,555 --> 00:58:42,924 Let me pay you for the night. 1217 00:58:42,957 --> 00:58:45,326 You can't afford me for the night. 1218 00:58:46,594 --> 00:58:48,763 - Listen, I love you. - I know. 1219 00:58:48,796 --> 00:58:50,874 I-I just want to get you guys out of this neighborhood. 1220 00:58:50,898 --> 00:58:53,301 Okay. Wait, wait, call me crazy. 1221 00:58:53,334 --> 00:58:55,536 I-I'm just throwing this out there. 1222 00:58:55,570 --> 00:58:58,005 I'm having second thoughts about selling the house. 1223 00:58:58,039 --> 00:58:59,707 - What? - I don't know, 1224 00:58:59,741 --> 00:59:01,743 ever since I met the neighbor last night, 1225 00:59:01,776 --> 00:59:05,046 - the way that he was helping me or the way that he... - Hey, hey. 1226 00:59:05,079 --> 00:59:08,516 - No, but maybe it's not such a bad neighborhood, babe. - No, no, no, no, no. No! 1227 00:59:08,549 --> 00:59:10,494 - Wait, wait. He's a nice guy. - Baby, listen. No! That... no. 1228 00:59:10,518 --> 00:59:12,863 He's not no fucking nice... What did I tell you about liking people? 1229 00:59:12,887 --> 00:59:14,956 - Liking? - You always liking somebody. 1230 00:59:14,989 --> 00:59:17,291 - No! Hey! - He saved me. 1231 00:59:17,325 --> 00:59:18,826 Relax. Let's put this to rest 1232 00:59:18,860 --> 00:59:20,528 until I come home from work tonight, okay? 1233 00:59:20,561 --> 00:59:22,330 And we can talk about it then. 1234 00:59:22,363 --> 00:59:24,799 - I got something I want to tell you. - What? 1235 00:59:24,832 --> 00:59:26,434 The next-door neighbor... 1236 00:59:26,467 --> 00:59:28,002 - Yeah? - He's a vampire. 1237 00:59:28,035 --> 00:59:29,537 A vampire. 1238 00:59:29,570 --> 00:59:31,038 - He's a fucking vampire. - Okay. 1239 00:59:31,072 --> 00:59:33,040 A vampire. You're crazy. 1240 00:59:33,074 --> 00:59:34,308 You're just jealous. 1241 00:59:37,712 --> 00:59:40,815 Cronut, let me in. There's a vampire living next door. 1242 00:59:55,930 --> 00:59:57,365 Cronut? 1243 01:00:01,903 --> 01:00:02,903 Eww. 1244 01:00:09,076 --> 01:00:11,579 What's wrong with you? Die, vampire! 1245 01:00:11,612 --> 01:00:14,482 - Die, vampire! Die! - Let me go. Let me go. Let me go! 1246 01:00:14,515 --> 01:00:16,617 Get up off of me, man. 1247 01:00:16,651 --> 01:00:18,529 Fuck you doing in my house all uninvited? I didn't invite you in here. 1248 01:00:18,553 --> 01:00:20,021 Why you sneaking up on me like that? 1249 01:00:20,054 --> 01:00:22,490 Why am I sneaking up on you? This is my house! 1250 01:00:22,523 --> 01:00:23,724 Fuck you doing up in my house? 1251 01:00:23,758 --> 01:00:25,035 I thought you won't fuck with me no more. 1252 01:00:25,059 --> 01:00:26,460 Whoa. 1253 01:00:26,494 --> 01:00:27,795 Why you got them damn glasses on? 1254 01:00:27,829 --> 01:00:29,363 Why you care? You don't like 'em? 1255 01:00:29,397 --> 01:00:30,631 They don't go with my 'fit? 1256 01:00:30,665 --> 01:00:32,400 - No. - What... what you want? 1257 01:00:32,433 --> 01:00:34,869 Shit. I, well, I just... 1258 01:00:34,902 --> 01:00:36,671 Hey, man, look. 1259 01:00:36,704 --> 01:00:38,406 All right. You was right. 1260 01:00:38,439 --> 01:00:40,875 We do have a creature living next door to us. 1261 01:00:40,908 --> 01:00:42,643 It's a real vampire, man. 1262 01:00:42,677 --> 01:00:43,978 I seen his teeth! 1263 01:00:44,011 --> 01:00:47,048 I thought you was lying at first, but he's real. 1264 01:00:47,081 --> 01:00:49,884 And he already got Allie, and I don't want him to get my wife! 1265 01:00:49,917 --> 01:00:51,686 And? 1266 01:00:51,719 --> 01:00:54,455 And that's about the closest to an apology you gon' get. 1267 01:00:54,488 --> 01:00:56,424 I've been doing my research 1268 01:00:56,457 --> 01:00:58,059 and what I came up with? 1269 01:00:58,092 --> 01:00:59,827 That house right over there? 1270 01:00:59,861 --> 01:01:02,129 It's a master vampire over there, and that's the nest. 1271 01:01:02,163 --> 01:01:03,631 And we should kill him. 1272 01:01:03,664 --> 01:01:05,867 - What? - We should kill him. 1273 01:01:05,900 --> 01:01:08,069 We, we. That's French. We? 1274 01:01:08,102 --> 01:01:10,972 Yes, it is we. Ain't no I in us. 1275 01:01:11,005 --> 01:01:14,542 It's we. Me and you. We family. 1276 01:01:14,575 --> 01:01:16,777 Yeah. Whatever. 1277 01:01:16,811 --> 01:01:18,646 We should kill that motherfucker. 1278 01:01:18,679 --> 01:01:20,514 Let's Bury him in the ground, man. 1279 01:01:20,548 --> 01:01:21,816 Just leave his head out 1280 01:01:21,849 --> 01:01:23,818 and just kick him in the head all day. 1281 01:01:23,851 --> 01:01:25,853 Check this out. What's my name? 1282 01:01:25,887 --> 01:01:27,922 - Cronut. - No, what's my real name? 1283 01:01:27,955 --> 01:01:29,824 - Man, look, man. Stop playing. - Mr. What? 1284 01:01:29,857 --> 01:01:31,626 - Mister? - Mr. Right. 1285 01:01:31,659 --> 01:01:34,528 Mr. Right. You want to get rid of the vampire? 1286 01:01:34,562 --> 01:01:37,465 - Yeah. - Trust me. I made a call. 1287 01:01:40,668 --> 01:01:42,637 - Who is that? Is that Barack Obama? - Trust me. 1288 01:01:42,670 --> 01:01:44,906 Not quite, but close. 1289 01:01:49,744 --> 01:01:50,744 Oooh. 1290 01:01:53,481 --> 01:01:57,818 Oh. Did you see that African Booty scratcher come out of there? 1291 01:01:57,852 --> 01:01:59,153 - Yes. - No! 1292 01:01:59,186 --> 01:02:01,489 - Yes. - Why'd you call him? 1293 01:02:01,522 --> 01:02:03,024 - Just trust me. - Oh, man. 1294 01:02:03,057 --> 01:02:05,002 - Have I ever let you down? - Yeah, a million times. 1295 01:02:05,026 --> 01:02:06,961 Don't worry about that. That don't count. 1296 01:02:06,994 --> 01:02:09,130 - Oh, man. Look how he dressed. - It looks crazy. 1297 01:02:09,163 --> 01:02:10,774 - Don't worry about it. - Whoopi goldberg. 1298 01:02:10,798 --> 01:02:13,100 - You smell a vampire? - Not yet, wait. 1299 01:02:13,134 --> 01:02:15,970 Right now, I smell fear. 1300 01:02:16,003 --> 01:02:19,073 - Fear? - And I smell broke-ass-ness 1301 01:02:19,106 --> 01:02:20,942 coming from this direction. 1302 01:02:20,975 --> 01:02:23,711 - Broke-ass-ness? - No, you smell your bottom lip. 1303 01:02:23,744 --> 01:02:25,179 Last but not least, I smell... 1304 01:02:27,982 --> 01:02:30,084 Two bitch-ass niggas. 1305 01:02:30,117 --> 01:02:32,787 That's why you called me to save you like I did the purge. 1306 01:02:32,820 --> 01:02:34,522 Saved me? You ain't saved me from nothin'! 1307 01:02:34,555 --> 01:02:36,624 You better take your black ass off. 1308 01:02:36,657 --> 01:02:38,735 - Punk bitch nigga, you owe me money! - I don't owe you nothin'. 1309 01:02:38,759 --> 01:02:40,962 You little dick bitch. You pee on your boss. 1310 01:02:40,995 --> 01:02:43,597 - Fuck you too. - I hope your wife get pregnant again 1311 01:02:43,631 --> 01:02:45,533 and I hope the baby is not yours. 1312 01:02:45,566 --> 01:02:46,567 You kiss my ass! 1313 01:02:46,600 --> 01:02:47,902 Your mother, your grandfather, 1314 01:02:47,935 --> 01:02:49,804 your uncles are all the same nigga. 1315 01:02:49,837 --> 01:02:51,572 I know you work for that cab company. 1316 01:02:51,605 --> 01:02:53,284 You need to get back in there and drive that cab, so... 1317 01:02:53,308 --> 01:02:54,952 - Carl black, you owe me money! - Hey, hey, hey. 1318 01:02:54,976 --> 01:02:56,954 Calm down, calm down. I got it. I got it, calm down. 1319 01:02:56,978 --> 01:02:58,855 - This nigga is pissing me off. - If you calm down a little 1320 01:02:58,879 --> 01:03:00,948 - for a second. Look... - Don't you hit my head. 1321 01:03:00,982 --> 01:03:03,117 Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. 1322 01:03:03,150 --> 01:03:05,753 Look, I promised him I'd show him some crazy spooky shit 1323 01:03:05,786 --> 01:03:08,223 if I recorded it and put it on his live TV show. 1324 01:03:08,256 --> 01:03:09,857 - On YouTube? - Yeah. 1325 01:03:09,890 --> 01:03:11,101 - You ain't got no followers. - He's popular. 1326 01:03:11,125 --> 01:03:13,228 Five hundred thousand subscribers. 1327 01:03:13,261 --> 01:03:15,629 I got a live vampire livin' next door to me. 1328 01:03:15,663 --> 01:03:16,597 That's what I got. 1329 01:03:16,630 --> 01:03:18,099 Nigga, that's why I'm here. 1330 01:03:18,132 --> 01:03:19,576 - That's why I brought these! - Hey, hey! 1331 01:03:19,600 --> 01:03:21,236 Put your leftovers down, man. 1332 01:03:21,269 --> 01:03:24,905 You must listen to me because I am a vampire slayer. 1333 01:03:24,939 --> 01:03:26,941 The vampires are very dangerous. 1334 01:03:26,974 --> 01:03:28,976 They will kill you. 1335 01:03:29,010 --> 01:03:32,214 He will suck your blood. He could be after your wife. 1336 01:03:32,247 --> 01:03:34,582 You have a wife. I know that. I've seen her. 1337 01:03:34,615 --> 01:03:36,218 She have a nice ass. No disrespect. 1338 01:03:36,251 --> 01:03:38,196 Tell me about these niggas, please. What did he look like? 1339 01:03:38,220 --> 01:03:40,187 He's bite-size, he's real short. 1340 01:03:40,222 --> 01:03:41,722 How short is he? 1341 01:03:41,756 --> 01:03:43,691 He's short. He's... he's, you know, he's... 1342 01:03:43,724 --> 01:03:45,203 Between you and this nigga, where is he? 1343 01:03:45,227 --> 01:03:46,803 Like this way? This way? That way? Under the table? 1344 01:03:46,827 --> 01:03:48,562 - Pocket size. - Pocket size nigga? 1345 01:03:48,596 --> 01:03:50,131 He got like a little perm. 1346 01:03:50,164 --> 01:03:52,334 He looked like that little man on the dime. 1347 01:03:52,367 --> 01:03:54,068 - What dime? - The dime. 1348 01:03:54,101 --> 01:03:56,146 - The dime, motherfucker. The dime. - Dime. Ten cents. 1349 01:03:56,170 --> 01:03:57,938 Ten cents a day, like what you eat. 1350 01:03:57,972 --> 01:03:59,940 Shut the fuck up, little bitch nigga. Fuck you. 1351 01:03:59,974 --> 01:04:02,610 If I had a choice between the vampires, 1352 01:04:02,643 --> 01:04:05,079 the devil and Donald Trump, 1353 01:04:05,112 --> 01:04:07,148 I would take Donald Trump. 1354 01:04:07,181 --> 01:04:10,985 The question is now he's trying to take your family away, 1355 01:04:11,018 --> 01:04:13,087 - what are you are gonna do? - Hey, hey, hey! 1356 01:04:13,120 --> 01:04:15,266 We're not the vampire. You don't have to keep putting that on us. 1357 01:04:15,290 --> 01:04:18,192 Don't be a bitch! If I want to talk to a little nigga, 1358 01:04:18,226 --> 01:04:19,827 I go to Chuck E. Cheese. 1359 01:04:21,662 --> 01:04:23,631 Either you gon' help me, or you gon' help me, 1360 01:04:23,664 --> 01:04:24,899 somebody's gonna help me 1361 01:04:24,932 --> 01:04:26,244 or I'm going up in there with a wooden thing 1362 01:04:26,268 --> 01:04:28,202 - and I'm gonna stab him in the... - Mm. 1363 01:04:28,236 --> 01:04:31,306 I'm telling you! You know how... I'm going up in there and... 1364 01:04:31,339 --> 01:04:33,074 Hey! 1365 01:04:33,107 --> 01:04:35,227 - You guys are crazier'n shit! - Who the fuck is that? 1366 01:04:37,178 --> 01:04:39,680 Carl black, I'm all you have. 1367 01:04:39,713 --> 01:04:41,849 You must save your wife 1368 01:04:41,882 --> 01:04:43,684 before it's too late. 1369 01:05:05,739 --> 01:05:07,007 Fellas, listen to me. 1370 01:05:07,041 --> 01:05:09,910 The vampire is very tricky and old. 1371 01:05:09,944 --> 01:05:13,914 It has survived many centuries because he's smart. 1372 01:05:13,948 --> 01:05:17,352 Much smarter than your stupid ignorant ass, Carl black. 1373 01:05:17,385 --> 01:05:21,055 That insidious bastard is a master vampire. 1374 01:05:21,088 --> 01:05:22,957 A master vampire? 1375 01:05:22,990 --> 01:05:27,094 He's not to be played with. That means he has companions. 1376 01:05:27,128 --> 01:05:29,797 - Companions? - We have a lot more to deal with. 1377 01:05:29,830 --> 01:05:31,266 You have to get to know your enemy. 1378 01:05:31,299 --> 01:05:32,833 I thought I knew him. 1379 01:05:32,867 --> 01:05:34,445 And how about his crew? Do you know them? 1380 01:05:34,469 --> 01:05:37,205 His crew? What? The Butler? 1381 01:05:37,239 --> 01:05:40,841 Butler?! That's not a Butler! That's his ghoul! 1382 01:05:40,875 --> 01:05:42,277 What is a ghoul? 1383 01:05:42,310 --> 01:05:45,247 This is not the time to be a bitch, Carl black. 1384 01:05:45,280 --> 01:05:47,882 A ghoul is very dangerous. 1385 01:05:47,915 --> 01:05:50,127 - What about those fine-ass girls he had in there? - Yeah. They was fine. 1386 01:05:50,151 --> 01:05:52,254 - Cronut! - I liked them. 1387 01:05:52,287 --> 01:05:55,723 Those are not average fine-ass girls. 1388 01:05:55,756 --> 01:05:58,826 Those are his bodyguards. They are murderous. 1389 01:05:58,859 --> 01:06:00,295 What? 1390 01:06:00,328 --> 01:06:02,830 The more beautiful they are, the more dangerous. 1391 01:06:02,863 --> 01:06:05,300 This is getting more serious than I imagined. 1392 01:06:05,333 --> 01:06:07,968 What's this shit? It was addressed to him. 1393 01:06:08,002 --> 01:06:09,946 He got a little chain on. He got your same facial structure... 1394 01:06:09,970 --> 01:06:12,307 Don't be a dick face. Give me that. 1395 01:06:21,882 --> 01:06:24,319 It is nothing. Just some stupid fucking doll. 1396 01:06:24,352 --> 01:06:26,153 - Put it away. - Are you sure? 1397 01:06:26,187 --> 01:06:27,721 How we going to kill this motherfucker? 1398 01:06:27,755 --> 01:06:29,391 - Dad. Dad. I got an idea. - What? 1399 01:06:29,424 --> 01:06:31,825 I turned the purge bats into stakes. 1400 01:06:31,859 --> 01:06:33,928 If you stab a vampire with it, it'll die. 1401 01:06:33,961 --> 01:06:37,265 Shut up! This is why I'm here. 1402 01:06:37,299 --> 01:06:40,335 We have to kill the vampire! 1403 01:06:57,051 --> 01:06:59,887 Why you wipe my kisses off like that? 1404 01:06:59,920 --> 01:07:01,822 Baby, because you put too much lip gloss on. 1405 01:07:01,855 --> 01:07:03,991 - No, I don't. - Yeah, you do, and then my shit 1406 01:07:04,024 --> 01:07:05,869 - be all glittery for the rest of the day. - Shut up. I do it for you 1407 01:07:05,893 --> 01:07:07,804 - when I'm around you. Whatever. - Use chapstick. 1408 01:07:07,828 --> 01:07:09,407 - You cute. You fine and all, baby. - Whatever. 1409 01:07:09,431 --> 01:07:10,998 Give me a little bit of head now. 1410 01:07:11,031 --> 01:07:12,199 - What? - I'm just saying, 1411 01:07:12,234 --> 01:07:14,068 like, I wanna get a little bit of head... 1412 01:07:14,101 --> 01:07:15,413 We're in front of my parents' house. Are you serious? 1413 01:07:15,437 --> 01:07:17,104 Baby, they're sleeping a little bit. 1414 01:07:17,137 --> 01:07:18,906 - Babe. - Come on, baby. 1415 01:07:18,939 --> 01:07:20,518 - Just a little bit of head. - Stop playing all the time. 1416 01:07:20,542 --> 01:07:22,776 - Baby, my-my legs. I'm-I'm paralyzed. - Stop. 1417 01:07:22,810 --> 01:07:25,179 That's the least you could do, community service. 1418 01:07:25,213 --> 01:07:26,853 Let me get a little bit of community head. 1419 01:07:26,880 --> 01:07:28,182 Shut up. We need to talk. 1420 01:07:28,216 --> 01:07:29,551 Talk about what? Baby, look, 1421 01:07:29,584 --> 01:07:31,486 talk with my dick in your mouth a little bit. 1422 01:07:31,519 --> 01:07:33,197 - I don't mean to be disrespectful. - Wait, wait. Listen. 1423 01:07:33,221 --> 01:07:35,155 Listen to what? 1424 01:07:35,189 --> 01:07:37,024 - Baby. - Did you hear that? 1425 01:07:37,057 --> 01:07:38,302 The only thing you need to listen to is... 1426 01:07:38,326 --> 01:07:41,329 Listen! 1427 01:07:42,397 --> 01:07:43,531 The fuck was that? 1428 01:07:46,268 --> 01:07:48,902 Shit! Oh, shit! 1429 01:07:48,936 --> 01:07:50,372 - What is that? - Ooh. 1430 01:07:50,405 --> 01:07:51,405 Oh, my god. 1431 01:07:53,907 --> 01:07:56,211 Freezee! Freezee! 1432 01:07:56,244 --> 01:07:58,313 That was Allie. 1433 01:07:58,346 --> 01:07:59,913 Time to get the fuck out. 1434 01:08:02,149 --> 01:08:03,318 What just happened? 1435 01:08:03,351 --> 01:08:05,119 I don't know. I just heard screams, man. 1436 01:08:05,152 --> 01:08:07,888 He made the first move. He has taken your daughter. 1437 01:08:07,921 --> 01:08:09,591 It's all fucked up, man. 1438 01:08:09,624 --> 01:08:12,135 I didn't know they had Allie, too. I like Allie! But there's more. 1439 01:08:12,159 --> 01:08:14,070 - Well, tell us more. - Yeah, you better say something 1440 01:08:14,094 --> 01:08:16,240 - before we take your banana bike, nigga. - Come on now. 1441 01:08:16,264 --> 01:08:18,165 The vampires, man, they got me. 1442 01:08:18,198 --> 01:08:19,967 See that house next door? 1443 01:08:20,000 --> 01:08:23,238 They havin' a big-ass vampire party up there, man. 1444 01:08:23,271 --> 01:08:25,072 Dracula kind of blushin'. 1445 01:08:25,105 --> 01:08:28,410 They said when it's over, they gonna kill everybody. 1446 01:08:28,443 --> 01:08:30,077 - Oh, god. - Shit. 1447 01:08:30,110 --> 01:08:31,912 Things all fucked up around here, man. 1448 01:08:31,945 --> 01:08:34,416 Not me. They ain't gonna get me. 1449 01:08:34,449 --> 01:08:36,318 They ain't gonna get me! 1450 01:08:37,452 --> 01:08:38,919 Come back here! 1451 01:08:38,952 --> 01:08:42,557 Fuck that! I'm a real snitch! 1452 01:08:42,590 --> 01:08:45,360 Those vampires done bit me. 1453 01:08:46,594 --> 01:08:47,629 Did you hear that? 1454 01:08:47,662 --> 01:08:49,331 Yeah, you saw how he took off? 1455 01:08:49,364 --> 01:08:51,932 This is exactly what the monster wants. 1456 01:08:51,965 --> 01:08:53,311 He wants you to attack him at night, 1457 01:08:53,335 --> 01:08:56,338 when he's strongest. Don't fall for it. 1458 01:08:56,371 --> 01:08:58,616 What am I supposed to do? I got a wife and a daughter over there. 1459 01:08:58,640 --> 01:09:00,941 Just wait till the daytime, when he's weak. 1460 01:09:00,974 --> 01:09:02,453 - And then we kill him. - No, no, no, no. 1461 01:09:02,477 --> 01:09:03,877 If you wait till the morning, 1462 01:09:03,911 --> 01:09:05,946 Lorena and Allie will be vampires. 1463 01:09:05,979 --> 01:09:08,416 - Oh. - Junior, I love you to death. 1464 01:09:08,450 --> 01:09:10,418 They already got your sister in there. 1465 01:09:10,452 --> 01:09:13,254 They're trying to get your mama. This is a good neighborhood 1466 01:09:13,288 --> 01:09:15,557 and I'm here to protect it, because I'm Carl black. 1467 01:09:15,590 --> 01:09:18,460 And I'm cronut. We ride together, we die together! 1468 01:09:18,493 --> 01:09:20,295 Go lock up the house. 1469 01:09:20,328 --> 01:09:23,598 We need the right weapons to kill this vampire. 1470 01:09:23,631 --> 01:09:25,567 - I made a phone call. - Who you call? 1471 01:09:25,600 --> 01:09:27,602 - Mr. Saturday night. - What? 1472 01:09:27,635 --> 01:09:29,637 He knows everything about killing vampires. 1473 01:09:29,671 --> 01:09:31,171 Saturday night? 1474 01:09:31,206 --> 01:09:34,041 I met him last Friday at fat Tuesday's. 1475 01:09:34,074 --> 01:09:36,043 Let's go. It's war. 1476 01:09:44,118 --> 01:09:46,221 Friends, let me do all the talking. 1477 01:09:48,021 --> 01:09:50,458 I've seen this guy kill lots of people. 1478 01:09:50,492 --> 01:09:52,394 Don't do no bitch shit now. 1479 01:10:00,668 --> 01:10:01,668 Let's go. 1480 01:10:06,674 --> 01:10:09,411 He's the only one to kill vampires. 1481 01:10:09,444 --> 01:10:11,479 He'll give us all the weapons. 1482 01:10:13,046 --> 01:10:14,282 Just stay calm. 1483 01:10:16,116 --> 01:10:18,018 I believe in god, first and foremost. 1484 01:10:18,051 --> 01:10:19,454 So we huntin' vampires. 1485 01:10:19,487 --> 01:10:21,656 - I'm scared. - What you scared of? 1486 01:10:21,689 --> 01:10:23,023 He looks like the undertaker. 1487 01:10:23,056 --> 01:10:25,025 I may not have what you want, 1488 01:10:25,058 --> 01:10:26,461 but I got just what you need. 1489 01:10:26,494 --> 01:10:27,662 Holy shit. 1490 01:10:29,196 --> 01:10:31,299 - You ain't playin'. - No, he's not. 1491 01:10:31,332 --> 01:10:33,435 - Damn! - You're gonna like this. 1492 01:10:35,002 --> 01:10:36,504 Whoa. 1493 01:10:36,538 --> 01:10:38,416 - Oh, that's cool. I like that. - That's alkaline water. 1494 01:10:38,440 --> 01:10:39,707 Alkaline? It's holy water! 1495 01:10:39,741 --> 01:10:41,643 Joel osteen holy water. 1496 01:10:41,676 --> 01:10:43,378 It kind got a pineapple taste to it. 1497 01:10:43,411 --> 01:10:48,683 Since we have vampires, I got us some uv sunlight. 1498 01:10:48,716 --> 01:10:51,553 Hey, hey, hey. 1499 01:10:53,822 --> 01:10:56,056 You're black, motherfucker. It don't work as well. 1500 01:10:56,089 --> 01:10:57,592 Nigga, I can't see now. 1501 01:10:57,625 --> 01:11:00,595 They say short motherfuckers love to get freaky, 1502 01:11:00,628 --> 01:11:03,731 so I brought this just for you. 1503 01:11:03,765 --> 01:11:06,166 My boy. You know me, don't you? 1504 01:11:06,200 --> 01:11:08,068 - Not really. - Is this real leather? 1505 01:11:08,101 --> 01:11:09,737 - Not really. - I'm wearing this. 1506 01:11:09,771 --> 01:11:11,706 Look at that. Look, look, look, look. 1507 01:11:11,739 --> 01:11:14,442 When y'all really ready to take out some motherfuckers... 1508 01:11:14,476 --> 01:11:15,643 Ooh. 1509 01:11:15,677 --> 01:11:17,712 - This what I pull out. - Shit. 1510 01:11:17,745 --> 01:11:20,615 - God is great. - All the time. 1511 01:11:21,683 --> 01:11:23,150 If it ain't a Jesus. 1512 01:11:23,183 --> 01:11:25,253 You got a calling, Carl. You put that on. 1513 01:11:25,286 --> 01:11:27,322 - Me? - You put that on. 1514 01:11:29,624 --> 01:11:31,259 God gon' protect you. 1515 01:11:33,193 --> 01:11:34,633 There's something I want to show you. 1516 01:11:36,631 --> 01:11:38,733 That look like Leslie Jones' dildo. 1517 01:11:38,766 --> 01:11:40,668 Oh. 1518 01:11:40,702 --> 01:11:42,670 - Nigga... - Hey, wait, wait, man. 1519 01:11:42,704 --> 01:11:44,047 - I think... I think he just stabbed me, he just... - Stop it. 1520 01:11:44,071 --> 01:11:45,182 I felt it in my... In my body. 1521 01:11:45,206 --> 01:11:46,774 No, you're cool. Don't be bitches. 1522 01:11:46,808 --> 01:11:48,776 You look like you know what's goin' on. 1523 01:11:48,810 --> 01:11:51,078 I know exactly what's goin' on. 1524 01:11:59,654 --> 01:12:01,589 Nigga, you're illuminati. I see you. 1525 01:12:01,623 --> 01:12:03,090 Enough of that. 1526 01:12:03,992 --> 01:12:07,127 - Thank you, Mr. Friday the 13th. - It's Saturday. 1527 01:12:07,160 --> 01:12:08,563 Nigga, this nigga Friday the 13th. 1528 01:12:08,596 --> 01:12:11,098 This nigga's... nigga! All right, cool, cool. 1529 01:12:11,131 --> 01:12:12,367 You keep doing your thing. 1530 01:12:15,436 --> 01:12:17,305 That nigga's on some Harry Potter shit. 1531 01:12:17,338 --> 01:12:19,407 It's cool, really. I know the nigga. 1532 01:13:01,549 --> 01:13:04,184 This motherfucker lit! 1533 01:13:04,218 --> 01:13:06,654 They know how to party here. 1534 01:13:06,688 --> 01:13:09,324 We gotta find Allie. 1535 01:13:09,357 --> 01:13:10,725 Damn, man, I'm staying right here. 1536 01:13:10,758 --> 01:13:12,594 I think I feel good right here. 1537 01:13:21,235 --> 01:13:23,671 Cronut! Go that way. 1538 01:13:35,249 --> 01:13:38,519 With three people dragging someone. 1539 01:13:38,553 --> 01:13:40,622 - Neighborhood, somebody. - Harrison. 1540 01:13:40,655 --> 01:13:42,857 - This is Harrison. - Do you guys need a backup unit? 1541 01:13:42,890 --> 01:13:44,692 No, I'm good, captain. I mean, 1542 01:13:44,726 --> 01:13:46,503 this shit making me a little nervous for real, man. 1543 01:13:46,527 --> 01:13:48,496 I mean, we back down to this spooky-ass house. 1544 01:13:48,529 --> 01:13:50,465 We just left here a couple of days ago. 1545 01:13:50,498 --> 01:13:52,199 Listen, I don't want to be no cop. 1546 01:13:52,233 --> 01:13:54,278 I just thought pieces of shit dropped-dropped big time. 1547 01:13:54,302 --> 01:13:55,870 Man. My man is shitting on himself. 1548 01:13:55,903 --> 01:13:57,705 This shit is spooky out here, captain. 1549 01:13:57,739 --> 01:14:00,408 I mean, shit, there's all kinds of noises out here 1550 01:14:00,441 --> 01:14:02,810 and fucking some... Some wind and shit. Can y'all... 1551 01:14:02,844 --> 01:14:04,312 I don't got the heart for this. 1552 01:14:04,345 --> 01:14:05,489 Harrison, is everything okay? 1553 01:14:05,513 --> 01:14:07,281 What's wrong? You're supposed to be... 1554 01:14:07,315 --> 01:14:09,193 You're supposed to be hard. You're acting scared. 1555 01:14:09,217 --> 01:14:11,285 - What's wrong? Harry, what's wrong? - Harrison. 1556 01:14:11,319 --> 01:14:13,297 I thought you had all the tricks and now you're acting like a bitch. 1557 01:14:13,321 --> 01:14:14,756 Harrison. 1558 01:14:18,526 --> 01:14:20,595 A bite of crime 'bout to bite you, nigga. 1559 01:14:36,811 --> 01:14:40,381 I'm not a vampire. My name's Allie, Allie black. 1560 01:14:40,415 --> 01:14:41,916 I live next door. 1561 01:14:41,949 --> 01:14:45,987 If you could just get me out of this, it would... 1562 01:14:46,020 --> 01:14:47,789 Okay. Look, my... my... 1563 01:14:47,822 --> 01:14:51,993 Can you ask dr. Mama-tunday-wanday to come here? 1564 01:14:52,026 --> 01:14:55,530 Damn. 1565 01:15:03,671 --> 01:15:06,274 What the fuck was that? 1566 01:15:08,409 --> 01:15:10,578 Shut up. 1567 01:15:12,780 --> 01:15:15,283 Don't talk. 1568 01:15:15,316 --> 01:15:16,851 What the fuck is your problem? Shut up. 1569 01:15:20,722 --> 01:15:24,826 Close your eyes. Close your eyes. Hey. 1570 01:15:54,655 --> 01:15:57,391 - What? - That was a silver metal nigga. 1571 01:15:57,425 --> 01:15:59,761 Oh, god. A silver metal nigga? 1572 01:15:59,794 --> 01:16:01,629 Silver metal. Not a regular nigga. 1573 01:16:01,662 --> 01:16:02,997 Metal nigga? 1574 01:16:03,030 --> 01:16:05,399 There are more of them niggas around. Trust me. 1575 01:16:08,503 --> 01:16:09,971 - Oh, shit. - Whoo-whoo. 1576 01:16:11,105 --> 01:16:12,540 Oh, god. 1577 01:16:14,075 --> 01:16:15,710 Please don't hurt me. 1578 01:16:17,578 --> 01:16:19,847 Please, Mr. Knight in big, black armor. 1579 01:16:19,881 --> 01:16:21,516 - Oooh. - Oh, my god. 1580 01:16:21,549 --> 01:16:23,918 Oh, my god. 1581 01:16:23,951 --> 01:16:27,989 - Shh. - Mmm. 1582 01:16:28,022 --> 01:16:29,590 - It's cronut, baby! - What?! 1583 01:16:29,624 --> 01:16:31,826 - I got you, didn't I? - Cronut... cronut... 1584 01:16:31,859 --> 01:16:33,437 - You didn't even know it was me, did you? - Cronut! Get me out of here. 1585 01:16:33,461 --> 01:16:34,972 - You gotta untie me out, please. - Yeah. 1586 01:16:34,996 --> 01:16:36,964 You're as fine as a motherfucker. 1587 01:16:36,998 --> 01:16:38,809 - When did you grow up? - Cronut, shut... shut the fuck up! 1588 01:16:38,833 --> 01:16:40,744 If you like it, we second cousins, we ain't no kin, so we can... 1589 01:16:40,768 --> 01:16:43,371 Are you serious right now? Shut the fuck up. I'm gonna tell daddy. 1590 01:16:43,404 --> 01:16:45,573 Oh, shit, man. 1591 01:16:45,606 --> 01:16:48,042 Now I know why the vampire wanted her. 1592 01:16:48,075 --> 01:16:51,913 Oh, hell no! That's my baby. 1593 01:16:53,147 --> 01:16:57,852 Baby, please wake up. Wake up, baby. Oh... 1594 01:16:57,885 --> 01:16:59,887 God. 1595 01:16:59,921 --> 01:17:01,098 - Get your damn hands off! Don't touch my lady! - Jesus, fuck. 1596 01:17:01,122 --> 01:17:02,690 He's in there, trying to kill us. 1597 01:17:02,723 --> 01:17:04,425 What the fuck is you in this shit for 1598 01:17:04,458 --> 01:17:06,003 - in the first place? - I was trying to escape. 1599 01:17:06,027 --> 01:17:07,595 I was going with freezee. 1600 01:17:07,628 --> 01:17:08,839 That's what getting hot in the ass get you. 1601 01:17:08,863 --> 01:17:10,463 Hurry up and get me the fuck out of here. 1602 01:17:13,668 --> 01:17:14,769 All right. Let's go. 1603 01:17:14,802 --> 01:17:16,537 - What? Oh, oh! - My feet. 1604 01:17:16,571 --> 01:17:18,081 I was going with freezee and I don't even know where he is. 1605 01:17:18,105 --> 01:17:19,674 Yeah, there it is, right... 1606 01:17:19,707 --> 01:17:20,918 - Stop looking at me. - Shut the fuck... shh. 1607 01:17:20,942 --> 01:17:24,946 Please come back to life. 1608 01:17:24,979 --> 01:17:28,149 Please, baby, I want some of that pussy again. 1609 01:17:28,182 --> 01:17:30,818 I mean, I love you again. I swear I love you. 1610 01:17:34,455 --> 01:17:35,723 Carl? Carl? 1611 01:17:36,924 --> 01:17:38,659 Jesus Christ, what happened? 1612 01:17:38,693 --> 01:17:40,428 I had the worst dream. 1613 01:17:40,461 --> 01:17:41,729 What did he do to you? 1614 01:17:41,762 --> 01:17:46,467 I was, uh, I was trying to bite you. 1615 01:17:46,500 --> 01:17:48,069 Carl, what's in my mouth? 1616 01:17:48,102 --> 01:17:49,437 You look like blac chyna. 1617 01:17:49,470 --> 01:17:51,005 Oh, stop. What's in my mouth? 1618 01:17:51,038 --> 01:17:53,107 I don't know, but I don't want no head no more. 1619 01:17:53,140 --> 01:17:54,609 What is this, Carl? What is this? 1620 01:17:54,642 --> 01:17:56,711 It look like a pimple on the mouth. 1621 01:18:00,514 --> 01:18:01,925 Where is daddy at? Where is everybody? 1622 01:18:01,949 --> 01:18:03,560 They right here looking for your stupid ass. 1623 01:18:03,584 --> 01:18:04,719 But how we gonna get them? 1624 01:18:04,752 --> 01:18:05,863 All right. This is what we're gonna do. 1625 01:18:05,887 --> 01:18:07,788 All right. This me, this you. 1626 01:18:07,822 --> 01:18:09,433 - When I'm gonna say "hike," you're gonna throw the ball... - Right. 1627 01:18:09,457 --> 01:18:10,892 Nah, I don't like that play. 1628 01:18:10,925 --> 01:18:13,094 This is what we gon' do, ten yards cut... 1629 01:18:13,127 --> 01:18:15,005 - Are you playing football? - You-you want to get out of here or not? 1630 01:18:15,029 --> 01:18:17,109 - It doesn't work! Shut the fuck up. - Just let's go. 1631 01:18:28,542 --> 01:18:30,978 - No. - Calm down. No. 1632 01:18:31,012 --> 01:18:32,480 Don't you do your neck like that. 1633 01:18:32,513 --> 01:18:34,048 Calm down. 1634 01:18:36,651 --> 01:18:38,486 - Calm the fuck down. - Please, please. 1635 01:18:40,688 --> 01:18:44,492 No! Cronut, no! 1636 01:18:44,525 --> 01:18:46,027 Please. 1637 01:18:52,600 --> 01:18:55,536 Don't you do it, don't you do it. 1638 01:18:55,569 --> 01:18:58,039 No... 1639 01:19:01,075 --> 01:19:02,677 Mayweather. 1640 01:19:02,710 --> 01:19:03,811 He gave it like that. 1641 01:19:05,813 --> 01:19:07,682 Yeah! 1642 01:19:19,961 --> 01:19:23,231 I'm a vampire slayer. I'm like blade. 1643 01:19:23,265 --> 01:19:24,732 - I did that. - You did what? 1644 01:19:24,765 --> 01:19:26,734 - I killed him. - No, I did that. I did... 1645 01:19:26,767 --> 01:19:28,087 - Really? - I'm blade. Yeah, yeah. 1646 01:19:30,838 --> 01:19:32,640 Let's go find your dad. 1647 01:19:32,673 --> 01:19:35,142 Carl, I don't feel well. Tell me, where are we? 1648 01:19:35,176 --> 01:19:36,510 Lorena? 1649 01:19:37,812 --> 01:19:38,846 There he is! 1650 01:19:38,879 --> 01:19:39,880 Carl black. 1651 01:19:40,948 --> 01:19:43,150 Release my beloved. 1652 01:19:43,184 --> 01:19:44,885 That's the nigga next door. 1653 01:19:44,919 --> 01:19:46,887 You don't mess with a man's wife! 1654 01:19:46,921 --> 01:19:48,556 That is our wife. 1655 01:19:48,589 --> 01:19:50,758 She is at least on a time share. 1656 01:19:50,791 --> 01:19:52,960 I've been waiting my whole life for you 1657 01:19:52,994 --> 01:19:58,233 to kill you, you punk-bitch, little ass, dick-looking bitch. 1658 01:19:58,266 --> 01:20:00,801 You call him a bitch? Come on. 1659 01:20:00,835 --> 01:20:03,247 We ain't finna be too many more bitches up in here now. You better watch your mouth. 1660 01:20:03,271 --> 01:20:05,906 Listen here, black Baltimore raven. 1661 01:20:05,940 --> 01:20:10,711 You will no longer disparage my household. 1662 01:20:10,745 --> 01:20:11,946 Hit him with that juice. 1663 01:20:16,017 --> 01:20:18,953 Hit him again. Damn, let me see your shit. 1664 01:20:18,986 --> 01:20:21,188 Man, that's mango juice you're throwing on that man. 1665 01:20:21,223 --> 01:20:22,823 Why this nigga is not dying? 1666 01:20:22,857 --> 01:20:24,925 - Why? - Oh, man. That's bullshit. 1667 01:20:24,959 --> 01:20:26,670 - What kind of nigga is this? - Fuck you're gonna kill a vampire 1668 01:20:26,694 --> 01:20:28,963 with visine, motherfucker? 1669 01:20:28,996 --> 01:20:30,107 Hit him with that third one. 1670 01:20:30,131 --> 01:20:31,565 Punk bitch, die! 1671 01:20:33,100 --> 01:20:35,569 This nigga is not dying. Back up. 1672 01:20:35,603 --> 01:20:37,272 Thank you, ladies. 1673 01:20:37,305 --> 01:20:39,040 - Whoa. - Daddy. 1674 01:20:39,073 --> 01:20:40,784 - Where you been? - We've been looking for you. 1675 01:20:40,808 --> 01:20:43,278 - I saved Allie. - No, I saved you. 1676 01:20:43,311 --> 01:20:45,213 Enough! 1677 01:20:47,181 --> 01:20:49,850 Look how you got my woman's mouth looking, man. 1678 01:20:49,884 --> 01:20:53,187 I bring to you from Africa, Egypt, 1679 01:20:53,221 --> 01:20:55,623 Denmark and Dayton. 1680 01:21:03,097 --> 01:21:04,598 That's jodeci! 1681 01:21:08,236 --> 01:21:10,004 No! 1682 01:21:11,072 --> 01:21:14,708 I swear by the black hairs of your chinny chin chin, 1683 01:21:14,742 --> 01:21:17,078 I will huff and puff 1684 01:21:17,111 --> 01:21:20,881 and these demons will blow your house down. 1685 01:21:20,915 --> 01:21:22,817 What's up, y'all? 1686 01:21:22,850 --> 01:21:25,387 - Watch out... oh! - Oh, shit! 1687 01:21:25,420 --> 01:21:26,887 What the hell are you doing here? 1688 01:21:26,921 --> 01:21:28,323 Freezee, 1689 01:21:28,356 --> 01:21:29,824 what happened to you? 1690 01:21:29,857 --> 01:21:32,693 Vampire gang. We out here, gang-gang! 1691 01:21:32,726 --> 01:21:34,262 They done hooked your boy up. 1692 01:21:34,296 --> 01:21:38,799 Half vampire, half goat legs, full horse dick. 1693 01:21:38,833 --> 01:21:40,801 Donkey dick. 1694 01:21:42,237 --> 01:21:44,038 It's all backwards, though. 1695 01:21:44,071 --> 01:21:45,873 Your ass is forward, freezee. 1696 01:21:45,906 --> 01:21:47,242 They done fuck me up in the lab. 1697 01:21:47,275 --> 01:21:49,910 You're a hairy retarded vampire. 1698 01:21:49,944 --> 01:21:51,721 - This ain't the life I chose. - You fucked him up. 1699 01:21:51,745 --> 01:21:53,781 You fucked him up. You fucked him up. 1700 01:21:53,814 --> 01:21:55,749 I appreciate it. At least I can walk now. 1701 01:21:55,783 --> 01:21:58,353 Listen here, switchblade. 1702 01:21:58,386 --> 01:22:01,356 You already know black lives matter. 1703 01:22:01,389 --> 01:22:05,393 This is black matter lives. 1704 01:22:06,861 --> 01:22:08,829 Welcome to the dark, motherfucker. 1705 01:22:08,863 --> 01:22:10,731 Attack! 1706 01:22:10,764 --> 01:22:11,799 Come on. Come on. Come on. 1707 01:22:43,831 --> 01:22:45,733 - You hit me in the nuts! - I'm sorry. 1708 01:22:46,901 --> 01:22:48,403 I'm tired of your ass. 1709 01:22:53,140 --> 01:22:55,176 Let's go, bitch. Let's go. 1710 01:23:02,049 --> 01:23:03,751 I got you! 1711 01:23:11,293 --> 01:23:15,029 - Yeah, bitch! - Die slow! Die slow! 1712 01:23:15,062 --> 01:23:16,764 Carl! Behind you! 1713 01:23:28,310 --> 01:23:29,310 Help her. 1714 01:23:34,282 --> 01:23:37,452 - I can't move my hand. - I can't move mine. 1715 01:23:37,485 --> 01:23:39,787 I'm throwing up gang signs. 1716 01:23:48,195 --> 01:23:50,265 Finally, Lorena. 1717 01:24:21,529 --> 01:24:24,932 Nigga is not dead yet. I don't think he's dead. 1718 01:24:34,842 --> 01:24:36,211 Baby, he's not dead. 1719 01:24:39,347 --> 01:24:43,851 You know I'm coming now. 1720 01:24:46,086 --> 01:24:48,423 Go get the voodoo doll. It's the only way to kill him. 1721 01:24:48,456 --> 01:24:50,791 - All right. Cool. - Hurry. 1722 01:24:55,929 --> 01:24:57,465 Go lock the back door. 1723 01:24:57,499 --> 01:24:58,899 Get the doors locked. Come on. 1724 01:24:58,932 --> 01:25:00,572 We can't kill him without the voodoo doll! 1725 01:25:02,437 --> 01:25:04,439 Cronut, hurry up. Hurry. 1726 01:25:06,006 --> 01:25:07,475 Hurry up, cronut. 1727 01:25:09,344 --> 01:25:11,546 Wooky said this will kill the vampire. 1728 01:25:11,579 --> 01:25:13,080 Is that it? 1729 01:25:13,113 --> 01:25:14,449 - Yeah. - All right. Let's go. 1730 01:25:16,484 --> 01:25:17,885 Whoa! Shit! 1731 01:25:19,421 --> 01:25:21,256 Ah, shit! 1732 01:25:23,491 --> 01:25:26,193 Come on, come on. Oh, shit! 1733 01:25:26,227 --> 01:25:28,162 - Please. Please. - Hey, hey, stop. 1734 01:25:28,195 --> 01:25:30,598 Please. 1735 01:25:32,367 --> 01:25:34,602 Shit! 1736 01:25:54,456 --> 01:25:55,989 Lorena. 1737 01:25:57,459 --> 01:26:00,127 Come to me, Lorena. 1738 01:26:00,160 --> 01:26:02,230 - Carl... - What's wrong? 1739 01:26:02,263 --> 01:26:03,964 He's calling me. 1740 01:26:07,167 --> 01:26:09,136 You can kill me, 1741 01:26:09,169 --> 01:26:12,240 but you cannot make me die. 1742 01:26:22,217 --> 01:26:25,185 I will have what belongs to me. 1743 01:26:34,696 --> 01:26:36,930 I'm 'bout to go kill mamuwalde. 1744 01:26:36,964 --> 01:26:38,500 Okay. 1745 01:26:43,003 --> 01:26:44,506 Damn, Hugo. 1746 01:26:44,539 --> 01:26:46,073 Nobody calls me Hugo. 1747 01:26:47,208 --> 01:26:48,543 What do they call you then? 1748 01:26:48,576 --> 01:26:50,978 Filero. 1749 01:26:51,011 --> 01:26:53,281 And what's filero? 1750 01:26:53,314 --> 01:26:56,418 It means blade in Mexican. 1751 01:26:59,521 --> 01:27:01,088 Really? 1752 01:27:15,035 --> 01:27:16,571 Carl... no... 1753 01:27:18,406 --> 01:27:20,742 Where do you think you're going? 1754 01:27:20,775 --> 01:27:22,544 What did you just do to me? 1755 01:27:22,577 --> 01:27:24,245 Do you feel that? 1756 01:27:25,613 --> 01:27:27,080 I got the voodoo doll. 1757 01:27:27,114 --> 01:27:29,651 Break the voodoo doll. 1758 01:27:29,684 --> 01:27:32,052 - What? - Break the voodoo doll! 1759 01:27:33,187 --> 01:27:34,255 Cronut! 1760 01:27:34,289 --> 01:27:36,458 Release your meaningless life. 1761 01:27:36,491 --> 01:27:38,626 Fuck out that... 1762 01:27:38,660 --> 01:27:41,028 I see we don't know what immortal means. 1763 01:27:41,061 --> 01:27:43,531 Break the doll, the voodoo doll. 1764 01:27:45,400 --> 01:27:46,701 - Break it! - Break it! 1765 01:28:01,282 --> 01:28:04,252 - You motherfucker. - Don't you touch me. 1766 01:28:08,623 --> 01:28:10,692 Come to me, Lorena. 1767 01:28:11,459 --> 01:28:14,596 - You better stop! - Come this way. 1768 01:28:14,629 --> 01:28:17,030 Lorena, wake up! 1769 01:28:17,064 --> 01:28:18,533 Lorena. 1770 01:28:20,133 --> 01:28:22,604 Take your place with me. 1771 01:28:22,637 --> 01:28:24,439 Babe, don't do this! Baby! 1772 01:28:24,472 --> 01:28:29,142 We are the Jay-Z and Beyoncé of the underworld. 1773 01:28:30,845 --> 01:28:34,616 Complete my darkness. 1774 01:28:34,649 --> 01:28:37,819 Come with me. There's not much time left. 1775 01:28:50,130 --> 01:28:52,433 You don't need him. 1776 01:28:52,467 --> 01:28:56,203 He doesn't have a job and he can't write a book. 1777 01:29:06,881 --> 01:29:09,584 I got this new book coming out. Terror night. 1778 01:29:09,617 --> 01:29:11,286 Nigga! Ain't nobody reading your book! 1779 01:29:11,319 --> 01:29:14,087 My book is in... in... in Barnes and noble's. 1780 01:29:14,121 --> 01:29:16,600 That book was terrible. It's one of the worst books I ever read. 1781 01:29:16,624 --> 01:29:18,191 Carl, I'm not happy here. 1782 01:29:18,226 --> 01:29:19,594 I need the money, dad. 1783 01:29:19,627 --> 01:29:21,462 Just... just leave. Just leave. Go take a nap. 1784 01:29:21,496 --> 01:29:23,136 This ain't the time for your goddamn book. 1785 01:29:24,232 --> 01:29:25,833 I don't know if this is it for us. 1786 01:29:25,867 --> 01:29:28,736 I used to think it was the house, the neighborhood, your book. 1787 01:29:31,573 --> 01:29:33,274 You need to realize that family's 1788 01:29:33,308 --> 01:29:35,068 the most important thing in life, not a book. 1789 01:29:36,277 --> 01:29:37,757 - I'm moving out. - You're messing up. 1790 01:29:39,347 --> 01:29:42,182 It's you and I that don't work. It's you. 1791 01:29:45,353 --> 01:29:47,622 Come to me now. 1792 01:29:52,393 --> 01:29:54,161 Carl black, save your wife. 1793 01:30:09,377 --> 01:30:13,414 Global warming is real. 1794 01:30:30,932 --> 01:30:34,502 Jack mihoff, Ann news live with the buzz. 1795 01:30:34,535 --> 01:30:36,804 So you've survived the purge. 1796 01:30:36,838 --> 01:30:40,341 You and this ragtag band of pimps, hoes... 1797 01:30:40,375 --> 01:30:41,719 - No, that's my family. - Sorry, what?! 1798 01:30:41,743 --> 01:30:43,383 No. It wasn't no pimps and hoes over here. 1799 01:30:43,411 --> 01:30:45,178 You defeated the vampire. 1800 01:30:45,213 --> 01:30:47,348 Saved the whole entire neighborhood. 1801 01:30:47,382 --> 01:30:50,585 Have you, black panther, Chloe, and bow-wow 1802 01:30:50,618 --> 01:30:54,187 ever thought about becoming the new black ghostbusters? 1803 01:30:57,358 --> 01:30:59,961 - Hunting ghosts? - Hunting ghosts? I mean... 1804 01:30:59,994 --> 01:31:01,462 You don't have to answer that, Carl. 1805 01:31:01,496 --> 01:31:03,364 It's a good idea. We could make money. 1806 01:31:03,398 --> 01:31:04,666 Let's wait, let's wait. 1807 01:31:04,699 --> 01:31:06,901 Don't be a bitch. Let's make this money, Carl. 1808 01:31:06,934 --> 01:31:09,537 Yes. Don't be a bitch. Make the money. 1809 01:31:09,570 --> 01:31:11,339 And what the fuck did you do? 1810 01:31:11,372 --> 01:31:12,916 - Look at me. - We could make money, Carl. 1811 01:31:12,940 --> 01:31:15,209 - Get the money, Carl. - Carl, let's do it. 1812 01:31:15,243 --> 01:31:17,245 - I'm gonna make money. - Yeah. Why-why not? 1813 01:31:17,278 --> 01:31:18,856 One more question. Handicapped white man, 1814 01:31:18,880 --> 01:31:21,916 is it true that your first experience with vampires 1815 01:31:21,949 --> 01:31:25,520 was in the jungle in Hanoi where your troop was ambushed, 1816 01:31:25,553 --> 01:31:29,957 you were ravaged, and your legs were completely destroyed? 1817 01:31:29,991 --> 01:31:32,360 Fuck you, Sammy sosa. 1818 01:31:32,393 --> 01:31:33,904 One thing I hate about this neighborhood... 1819 01:31:33,928 --> 01:31:35,763 All the goddamn vampires. 1820 01:31:35,797 --> 01:31:38,766 Well, we would just like to thank you 1821 01:31:38,800 --> 01:31:40,968 for your service to this country and make... 1822 01:31:41,002 --> 01:31:42,570 Oh, my lord! 1823 01:31:42,603 --> 01:31:43,947 His hands are strong, but his legs are dead. 1824 01:31:43,971 --> 01:31:45,716 Come on. Come on. Let his hand. Let his hand. 1825 01:31:45,740 --> 01:31:47,575 Get off me, Carl! Your wife's cheating on you! 1826 01:31:47,608 --> 01:31:48,819 - What are you talking about? - What? 1827 01:31:48,843 --> 01:31:49,987 - I see everything! - Shut up! 1828 01:31:50,011 --> 01:31:51,946 - Cronut's gay. - No, I'm not. 1829 01:31:51,979 --> 01:31:53,314 That don't count in jail. 1830 01:31:53,347 --> 01:31:54,525 That's not even your daughter! 1831 01:31:54,549 --> 01:31:56,918 - Uh-uh. - No. I'm sick of this. 1832 01:31:56,951 --> 01:31:58,953 Yeah. I'm sick of you. 1833 01:31:58,986 --> 01:32:01,222 Come on, Carl. 1834 01:32:03,991 --> 01:32:05,727 Are you ready? 1835 01:32:05,760 --> 01:32:07,962 Give me one second, baby. I'm coming. 1836 01:32:07,995 --> 01:32:09,630 Lord knows I'm coming. 1837 01:32:09,664 --> 01:32:12,967 I know you happy you ain't with clive no more. 1838 01:32:13,000 --> 01:32:15,436 - But what's taking you so long? - You're rushing me, babe. 1839 01:32:15,470 --> 01:32:17,805 You ain't rush clive. I know you waited for his ass. 1840 01:32:17,839 --> 01:32:20,475 Just calm down. You gon' get this dick. 1841 01:32:20,508 --> 01:32:22,276 Gonna drop some good dick on you. 1842 01:32:22,310 --> 01:32:23,778 Well, hurry. 1843 01:32:23,811 --> 01:32:25,513 - Oh. - Yeah. 1844 01:32:25,546 --> 01:32:27,648 Yeah. 1845 01:32:27,682 --> 01:32:32,620 You see it. You see it. Yeah. 1846 01:32:32,653 --> 01:32:34,722 Say you're ready for me to draw some dick o's. 1847 01:32:37,625 --> 01:32:40,361 Yeah. Yeah. Oh-oh. 1848 01:32:40,394 --> 01:32:42,430 That's it? 1849 01:32:42,463 --> 01:32:44,432 You're kidding. 1850 01:32:44,465 --> 01:32:47,001 Wait. I-i... Damn, this was a long song. 1851 01:32:47,034 --> 01:32:48,536 - Wow. - You did good. No, no, no. 1852 01:32:48,569 --> 01:32:50,538 What you wowing for? 1853 01:32:52,106 --> 01:32:56,043 Who knocked it down, nigga? 1854 01:32:56,077 --> 01:32:58,346 Bitch ass! 1855 01:34:25,833 --> 01:34:30,605 This is Jack mihoff with today's latest buzz. 1856 01:34:30,638 --> 01:34:33,808 There has been reports of a ragtag band 1857 01:34:33,841 --> 01:34:38,045 of negro thug vigilantes and a Mexican. 1858 01:34:38,079 --> 01:34:42,083 Reports have been stated that they are calling themselves 1859 01:34:42,116 --> 01:34:44,886 the ghetto ghostbusters, 1860 01:34:44,919 --> 01:34:48,489 and they are out for street vengeance. 142800