All language subtitles for The.Fuller.Brush.Man.1948.1080p.WEBRip.x264-RARBG

(DOORBELL RINGING)

(DOG BARKS)

(INAUDIBLE)

(DOORBELL RINGING)

Hmm, two today.

What's up, Red?

Having company this morning?

Company? Hey, hold it,
will you, Creamy?

I got something to show you.

Okay.

It's a big day, Creamy.

Having breakfast
with my girl in the park.

She doesn't know about it.

I got a surprise for her.
Get a load of this.

What did I do with it?
I paid 18 bucks for that thing.

I hope I haven't been robbed.

There.
You was robbed.

Look, ain't it supposed
to have a diamond in it?

Supposed to have?

It's got a diamond in it,
I think.

Yeah, there. See?

You got to get it
in the right kind of light.

Where?

Well, move in
where you can see it.

I hope her eyes
are better than mine.

They are. Prettier, too!

If she accepts that,

she ain't marrying
you for your money.

Oh, Red, this is wonderful.

But I have to go to work early today.
Oh?

You shouldn't have
gone to all this trouble.

Oh, it's no trouble.
I wanted to show you

what a handy guy
I could be in the kitchen.

I like your kitchen.

Lots of nice sunshine
coming in the windows.

Yeah, it's good
when it rains, too.

You can have your coffee and
morning shower at the same time.

Can I warm up
your coffee for you?

I don't think
I'll have time, Red.

Mr. Wallick's
driving me to work.

That guy!

Now he's making passes
at you on my time.

Gee, the way he drools
when he looks at you.

Even his eyelids pant.

Oh, Red, he isn't that bad.

And besides, he's a very
successful Fuller Brush Man.

Successful? (LAUGHS)

He couldn't sell
pimples to a goose!

(EXCLAIMS)

Hey, I'm going to have to put
something on your finger

to make you remember
to forget that guy.

Ann, I want to tell you
about a friend of mine.

He's a jeweler.

Well, he hasn't been
doing very well lately,

so, well, I thought I'd kind
of help him out a little.

Oh, Ann, I didn't mean
to make you cry.

It's just a little
diamond, but...

You shouldn't have done it, Red.

Shouldn't have done it?
Why not?

I shall have it paid for
in eight years.

By that time our oldest child
will be selling papers

and what he earns with
what I earn,

why, we'll have it
paid for in no time.

Oh, don't joke, Red.

I'm not joking, Ann.
You know how I feel about you.

Gosh, I fell in love with you
the first time I ever saw you.

Remember? It was in
church on Easter Sunday.

You sang the solo.

Gosh, you were wonderful.

Then I joined the choir.

I didn't mind being with those sopranos
as long as I could be near you.

Oh, please, Red.
I understand how you feel.

That's what makes it
so difficult.

I can't accept it, Red.

You see,

you just aren't ready to
accept the responsibility

of having a wife and a family.

Oh, I know you try, Red,
but you go from job to job.

You just don't take
your future seriously enough.

Well, I've had this job
for three weeks.

Yes, but how long
will it last, Red?

Look at all the other jobs.

The time you drove a bus.
That only lasted three days.

Well, that wasn't
exactly my fault. I...

I was trying to get the passengers
to the rear of the bus

and just forgot to watch
where the front was going.

OFFICER: Hey you, Don Juan.

Is this your cart?
Yes, sir.

What do you want to do,
burn up the park?

Oh, that's all right, Officer.

I know all about
fire prevention.

I worked for the Fire
Department for three weeks.

Well, if you don't keep
your eye on that thing,

you'll learn something
about crime prevention.

Oh?

And that's another thing.

Three weeks with
the Fire Department.

Well, so what if
I was late to a fire.

I saved the house.

Yes, but by that time,

the house had already
burned to the ground.

Yeah, but I saved it.

I've got the ashes
home in a little box.

Oh, stop clowning.

Don't you see what I mean, Red?

Something always
happens with your jobs.

You never keep them.

You've got to settle down.
You've got to get somewhere

and be someone before
you can think of marriage.

You mean be someone
like Wallick?

Well, yes, Red.
He's successful.

He's getting somewhere.

(CAR HORN HONKING)

Let's go, Ann. We're late!

I'm sorry, Red.
I've got to leave now.

But, Ann, listen, I...
(HONKING CONTINUES)

Listen, Ann...
(HORN HONKING)

Listen...
(HORN HONKING)

Beep-beep yourself!

I'll see you later, Red.
We'll talk about everything.

Hiya, Red.

I see you're still
wearing the white ducks.

Well, quack-quack!
(LAUGHS)

Put all your paper plates in there.

$18!

Well, I've got 24 months to pay
and then I'll have it refinanced.

We believe in aiding our public servants
in keeping the city clean.

Oh, that's very nice
of you, very nice.

Oh, no! Here, don't.
No, don't put that in there. Here!

Girls, help! Help!

Beaver Patrol to the rescue!
Beaver Patrol to the rescue!

Beaver Patrol to the rescue!
Beaver Patrol to the rescue!

Come on!

Girls, form a bucket
brigade. Charge!

The bucket brigade!
The bucket brigade!

Come on.

The bucket brigade!

TEACHER:
Keep it going, Beavers.

Keep a nice straight line.
No excitement!

Be sure you have
your glass full.

Form the bucket brigade, girls.

Keep it going.
Keep it going.

The fire's over there!

Hey, you!

(CRASHING)

You all right,
Commissioner Trist?

Look at my car!

Look what that idiot did to my car.
Get him off of here.

You numbskull!

I personally am going to see
that a menace like you

is removed from
the public highways.

Commissioner Trist!
Exactly.

Commissioner, I've always
wanted to meet you.

After all, working in the same department,
it's a shame we're strangers.

My name's Jones.

Got that?
Yes, sir. Jones.

Capital J-O-N-E-S.

Of course, this isn't a formal
way of meeting, but...

Take a memo.
I want this man fired.

I want him thrown out
of the department.

Out. Far out!

Now, let's not get
hasty, Commissioner.

After all, good men like me
are hard to replace.

Why, it may take you, oh, hours.

Now, I know you want
your streets kept neat and tidy...

Yes! That's why
I'm firing you.

Here you are, Carefree.

You know, I don't blame
my girl for turning me down.

Everything happens to me,
even when I try be careful.

(GLASS SHATTERING)

(MOUTHING)

Goodbye.

Gentlemen, Mr. Seward
is ready to see you now.

Well, Red,
what are you doing here?

What happened?

Well, Ann, I got to thinking
about what you said.

About making
something of myself.

Well, I decided to talk
to the Commissioner and...

I smashed up his car
and broke his windshield.

And got fired?
Yeah.

I'd have been up
for a pension in 20 years.

But it wasn't my fault.

It never is.

But somehow, some way,
you always get into trouble.

Always going somewhere
and never getting there.

Every time
you get a clear stretch,

you take your eyes off the road.

Why, a girl would be a fool
to go along with you.

Yeah, I wish
you felt foolish, Ann.

But it's no use. I...

I just came up to say goodbye.

Goodbye, Ann.

Oh, Ann, there's something
I borrowed from you

that I'd kind of like to keep.

What?

That hot water bottle.

Looks like it's going to be
an awful cold winter.

Red!

Yeah? Did you call me, Ann?

Well, I... I've been
thinking about you, Red.

Oh, that's wonderful.

To think you've been
thinking about me.

What have you
been thinking about?

Well, that maybe you deserve
one more chance.

Just one more!
Oh, I'll take it.

Perhaps you've had
the wrong kind of jobs.

Maybe if you went into business
for yourself, as your own boss,

became a Fuller Brush Man.

Me? A Fuller Brush Man?

Hiya, puddle-pusher.
Hello, Ann.

Well, in case Red
forgot to mention it,

it's all on page five,
right there.

I guess you really told
the Commissioner off, huh, Red?

Oh, I gave him
a piece of my mind.

Well, that should set him
back a couple of years.

We've just been through
all that, Mr. Wallick.

Yeah, it was
a very lucky accident.

I'm going to become
a Fuller Brush Man.

Well, you're insulting
a very fine product.

But, Mr. Wallick,
you could help Red.

You could recommend him
to our district manager.

Oh, now, wait a second.

If this lunkhead could become

a successful
Fuller Brush salesman,

I'd better get a job
mowing lawns.

Look, Mr. Wallick, I'll try very hard
and if I'm successful, I'll...

Well, I'll help you
mow the lawn.

Ann, believe me, every time
I knock on the door, I'll ring the bell.

You're lucky if every time
you knock on the door,

the door doesn't knock back.

Oh, please, Mr. Wallick, I know
Red will make you proud of him.

Especially when the top Fuller Brush
dealer shows him what to do.

Ann!
Yes, Mr. Seward?

Please?

Well, okay, but it's like
watering a weed with champagne.

Now, this is the sample kit.

Oh?

What are you selling?
Knockout drops?

Oh, look at the brushes,
snug as little bugs in a rug.

We do not like to think
of our brushes as bugs.

I like to think of
my fingers, though.

Now, point number one.
In order to sell brushes,

you must get into the
customer's house, true?

True.

You do that by making
a favorable impression

and having
a pleasing personality.

And believe me, brother,
you're in trouble from the start.

End of point one.
Ooh!

Oh, on point two,
do I get my hand back?

I won't be around to see.

Hey, wait a minute.

Explain that toothbrush
to me, will you?

That is no toothbrush.

Aw, it's a wonderful toothbrush.

Cleans your ears and
teeth at the same time.

That brush is for
cleaning Venetian blinds.

My Aunt Maude had one like that.

It used to keep her
choppers nice and choppy.

Hey, that's not very good.
Leaves hair in your teeth.

You'd better go back
to manicuring the street.

Oh, you don't think
I could sell brushes, huh?

I know you couldn't.

Let me borrow your kit.
What are you going to do?

I'll show you real salesmanship.

Now, this is the door
to the customer's house.

I'm the brush man.

(TAPPING)

It was me.

She's coming to the door.
Coming to the door.

"Who is it?"

"Your Fuller Brush
Man, madam."

"Oh, just a moment.

"Oh, good heavens, he would
come today and I'm a mess."

(HUMMING)

"Don't go away!"

(GRUNTS)

What are you doing?

Well, a girl has to think of her appearance.
And stop peeking in my window!

"Hello." Now,
I'm in the house.

Yeah.
You be the lady, now.

Good morning, madam.
We'd like to show you

some of our very fine brushes.
I'm not interested.

Oh, you're interested
in a brush, aren't you?

Nope.

How about a nice mop?
Mmm-mmm.

A wonderful floor mop?
Don't want any.

Ceiling, walls and windows.

It doubles as a toupee,
with a built-in shampoo.

Can't use it.

Could I interest you
in a nice hairbrush?

No.

Specially constructed
for people with short arms.

Sorry.

Madam, you need a hairbrush.
Why?

When people look
at you, do they say,

"That reminds me.
I've got to wash my dog"?

What?
Don't you ever change your oil?

Why, if I thought for one second
that you would do...

(CLEARS THROAT)

Mr. Seward,
this is Mr. Jones.

I'm glad to know you,
Mr. Seward.

Well, if you're as good a salesman
as Miss Elliot says,

I'd like to talk to you as soon
as a new territory opens up.

Oh?

And if you do half
as well as Wallick here,

you'll have
nothing to worry about.

Well, thank you.
Oh, Mr. Seward!

(DOOR CLOSES)

Oh, I don't know what you said
to the old man,

but how do you expect
Red to live up to it?

And what's more important,
how can we live it down?

But, Mr. Wallick, I...

I only told him Red
was a terrific salesman.

And he believed it?
Yes.

Oh, well, I don't.
Well, I do.

That's two to one.

Now, look, this is a very
simple matter to settle.

We can all go out right now
on our lunch hour

and pick out a few houses for Red
to try and see what happens.

Yeah.

Yeah, I could pick out
a few houses, couldn't I?

Here, let me pick 'em out.

Oh, no, no, Red.
I know the good ones.

Oh?

Now, there's just one more thing,
Red, before we go.

This is your last chance.

If you can't make good
with Mr. Wallick's help,

then I give up.
I'll make good.

Now, here's a street
I intended to visit today.

Red can make my calls.

Jasmine Street,
a real sweet street.

Okay, take your pick.

Now, remember all the
things we told you, Red.

I know you're going
to do just fine.

Want to bet,

say about a million dollars?

I'll bet more than that.

All right. A kiss?

It's a deal.

Oh, wait a minute.

Remember, sell your personality.

You won't get much
for it, but keep trying.

Mmm-hmm.

I'll start over there.

How about a movie tonight, Ann?

Might put you in the mood
to pay off the bet.

Okay.

But we're not at the movie yet.

Would you be interested
in a hairbrush?

Would you be interested
in a hairbrush?

Would you be interested
in a hairbrush?

Would you...

Good day.
Good day.

He couldn't even get in the house.
You lose.

Well, he'll sell the next one.

Double or nothing?

It's a bet.

(DOORBELL RINGING)

First thing is to get
the foot inside the door.

Well, who does you
have a subpoenee for?

I don't have a subpoenee.

What is you collecting for?

Not a thing.

Then you has
the wrong house, bub!

Here.
(KNOCKS ON DOOR)

Here.

Ooh!

Little boy, let me have my case.

Give it to me.
Give it...

Not that way, though.

Oh!

Would you like to buy a brush?

A very nice hairbrush,
soft bristles on both sides?

No, I don't want to...

Yeah, I'll buy your brushes.
You know, I like you.

I like you, too.

Hmm.

Look, let me come in and
pick up my brushes, will you?

I know you're a nice boy.

Boy, have you got
a surprise coming, kiddo.

Ooh! Ooh!

Here, my foot. My foot.

(LAUGHING) Oh, no.
Oh, no, no, no.

Quit it.

Stop! I'm going
to skin you alive.

If you come any closer,
I'll drop it.

Oh, no.
That's my good shoe.

Look, I'll sit right over here.
I won't come any closer.

Boy, if there's anything I hate,
it's a quitter.

Oh, no!
Now what did you do that for?

Grandma! Grandma!
He's murdering the little fishies.

Oh, brother!
I wish you were my size

so I could cut you
down to your size.

Junior, what's going on in...

Who are you?

He was murdering the
little fishies, Grandma.

He was pushing their little heads
under the water.

I was not, Grandma.
I mean, madam.

I'm your Fuller Brush Man.

I'm sure you could use a hairbrush
that's flat on one side.

Well, as a matter of fact,
it happens I do need one.

You certainly do.

Let me show you some of
our newest brushes. Here.

Oh, yes, let me.
Oh, my, that's a good one.

Has a lovely sting to it.

Junior, that calls
for a spanking.

You better not spank me,
Grandma, or I will tell.

You'll tell what?

That you was a shimmy
dancer in the side show.

Ooh! I was
no such thing.

Oh, no?

(VOCALIZING
SNAKE CHARMER TUNE)

Junior!
See?

Grandma, compliments
of the company.

I'm sorry we don't have
one with a nail in it.

(LAUGHING)

Good day.

Grandma, Grandma.
He broke my little skate.

Grandma, Grandma.
He broke my little skate.

I should have started with
this house in the first place.

I'll break your winning streak
if it's the last thing I do.

Let's make this a big bet, Ann.
Three kisses this time.

It's a bet.

Hey, don't you know
that betting is illegal?

(LAUGHS) You can't
insult me, pal.

I'll just turn the other cheek.

I do hope he finds
this house easier.

Oh, he shouldn't have any trouble
at all with Miss Sharmley.

Main point,
pleasing personality.

Get into the house.

(RINGING)

(RINGING)

(RINGING)

(RINGING)

Hello? Grant?
I'm glad you called.

What does that pea-brain
in casting mean,

I'm not alluring
enough for the part?

(MOUTHING)

(RINGS DOORBELL)

Maybe my name isn't Tondeleyo,
but I've brushed off more men

than the porter at the Waldorf.

(DOORBELL RINGS)

Just a minute!
Now, listen...

(DOORBELL CONTINUES RINGING)

(SNARLING) Just a minute!

You tell him I want that part.

Not alluring enough!

Well, just give me a man.

(SNARLS) Any man.

I'll get in.

I'm your Muller Frush Pan.

I mean, your Fuller Mush Man.

(DEEP VOICE)
Want to buy a brush?

(CLEARS THROAT)

Well, at least
he got into that house.

Yeah, I can't understand...

I mean, I can't understand
why it was so difficult.

Oh.

I was passing by and
I thought I'd drop in.

I'm glad you did.

You have such nice hair.

So wavy.

If you keep that up,
you're going to straighten it out.

What I came by
to see you about is,

well, I'm your
new Fuller Brush Man,

Miss, uh... Miss, uh...

You can call me Baby.

Well, I'd like to show you some
of our finest baby brushes.

I mean, I'd like to show you
some of our brushes, Baby.

(CHUCKLES)

Now, here's a very fine brush.

Now, to sell the brush,
the first point is to get into the house.

The second...

Oh, you wouldn't be interested.

Here a... Oh, I'm sorry.
That... It's just the hose.

This is our friction
shower and bath brush.

It's a very handy little thing.

You connect this onto
the nozzle like that, see?

And, uh, then you
turn on the faucet.

Then the water comes down.

Then the... (COUGHS)

How interesting!
I might take one of those.

Really? Well,
that'll be $4.75 and...

If you will
demonstrate it for me.

Demonstrate it? Well,
this is a bath brush.

Maybe I should come
back Saturday night?

When I ask men to do something,

they usually eat out of my hand.

Well, I've had my lunch.

Men find me very alluring.
They can't get me out of their blood.

This is no time
for a transfusion.

Kiss me. You're no
different than the others.

All men follow me like sheep.

Well, not me.

(BLEATING)

There must be some way to get back
into Fuller Brushes again.

I can't understand what's
taking him so long.

Why don't we take a peek
and see what's cooking?

Yes, let's do.
I'm curious.

RED: Have you made up your mind
about this brush yet, Miss Sharmley?

Not yet.

Keep demonstrating it,
Mr. Jones.

I guess this is the only way to do it

and still keep the crease
in my trousers.

You know I've gotten
much further with you

than I have with any of my customers,
Miss Sharmley.

How much further
do I have to go?

Oh, hi, Ann.
How am I doing?

Great. You'll make
a fine Fuller Brush Man.

At least you remembered
to wear a smile.

Say, I hope she isn't your wife.

Oh, she isn't.

And she won't be at this rate.

Wait a second, Ann.
I'll drive you back to the office.

Don't bother.
I'll take a bus.

How about it, Ann?
Now do you think he'll make good?

Not with me, he won't.

Ann!

Where's she going?

What, do you have to
see it in black printing?

You and Ann are through.
Get it?

Why, I'd like to get it
from Ann, if you don't mind.

All right. Now, look,

if you're going
to be the die-hard type,

we'll settle this
in a sporting manner.

Now, you're a betting man,
aren't you?

Yeah, but I'm not
going to kiss you.

All right, I'll tell you what.

Pick out a couple of houses.

If you can make a sale
in one, just one, you win.

If you don't, I win.

Okay. Win what?

Ann.

Ann?
That's right.

If you lose,
you get out of her hair.

If I lose, I'll do likewise.

Oh, that's awful beautiful hair
to get out of.

Well, then, is it a bet?

Yeah, it's a bet.

Want me to help you pick out
a couple of winners? I know 'em all.

No, I'll pick out my own house.

Mmm-hmm.

How about that
white one over there?

That's a nice house,
prosperous and dusty.
(CHUCKLES)

Think I'll try
that one down there.

Oh, no, Red. Hey, don't even.
Take it from me.

Don't try that one.
Believe me.

That's for me.

If I miss on this one,
we're getting off of this street.

It's poison!

Ain't it the truth?

Is this Gordon Trist,
the Commissioner of Sanitation?

Speaking.

Well, you bubble-headed dunce,

this is Red Jones, the street cleaner
who smashed up your car.

Listen, you
flannel-eared baboon,

what's the idea
of having me fired?

My only regret is

that I personally wasn't able
to kick you out on your ear!

Well, stop flapping that
fat lip of yours and listen.

Maybe I'll give you
that chance, beetle face.

And maybe I'll bust you
as wide open as the state of Nevada.

How'd you do?

Didn't do any good at all.

Didn't, huh?
Nope.

Well, I just checked
with the office.

A customer of mine
called in from Bel Air.

Wants to give me a big order.

So I guess I'm going to have
to go over there right now.

Okay.
Wait a minute.

Didn't you say I had
a couple of chances? Yeah.

I've got one more coming?
Well...

Didn't you say I could pick my own houses?
That's right.

My next house is in Bel Air.
Oh, that's not...

Well, I guess a bet is a bet, isn't it?
Yeah.

Okay, but remember,
this is your last chance.

Okay. And I want you
to know I appreciate this.

I'll be right out.
You ain't kidding.

Oh, may I see
the lady of the house?

I'm Mr. Jones,
the new Fuller Brush Man.

One moment, sir.

Yeah.

Point number one.

Get into the house.
Get into the house.

Boy, it sure would hold a lot of hay,
wouldn't it?

Wonder what time
the feature starts?

Well, why would anybody
want his picture in their house?

TRIST: Let's go in
the patio, Mildred.

Let me get you a cool drink.
You've had a horrible morning.

It wasn't so horrible, darling,

until that street cleaner
Jones came back into my life.

How I'd like to take
his neck in my bare hands

and squeeze till his eyes pop!

He'd better stay out of my way
if he values his life.

Mrs. Trist, I beg your pardon.
A gentleman to see you.

Mr. Jones,
a Fuller Brush Man.

Did you get that gopher yet?

I will. I set
a trap for him.

TRIST: We've no time
for peddlers.

BILLINGS:
Very good, Mr. Trist.

MILDRED: Please serve our
drinks outside, Billings.

Yes, madam.

(MUFFLED SCREAMING)

Hey, that's the trap.
We got our gopher.

Where is it?

Gosh, it must have been a big one!
He took the trap with him.

Well, we'll get him next time.

Come sit down,
darling, and relax.

Why don't you have a cigar?

You seem to be worried.
What is it, Gordon?

I am worried. About
my war surplus warehouse.

It's dangerous, Gordon,
for a public official

to use his office
for personal gain.

Unless he can
trust his front man.

Oh, Gregory Cruckston?

Yes. He's pulling a
fast one behind my back.

If there's one thing I hate,
it's being a victim of sloppy bookkeeping.

He just isn't neat
with $1,000 bills.

You've been over the books?

Yes, I'm having a showdown
with him tonight.

What if Cruckston can't explain?

That will make it tough,
on one of us.

Billings must have
spiked the lemonade.

What are you doing here?
Who are you?

Oh, good afternoon.
I'm your Fuller Brush Man.

I'm sure I have a few items
here that will be of interest to you.

Our new plastic brushes.

Haven't I seen you before?

Oh, no.
Nobody's ever seen me before.

Say, did you know that you have
fungus on your forget-me-nots?

Now, I'm sure you would like to
get the pests out of your garden.

I certainly would!

We have the very brush for that.

Oh, how do you do?

Here's a wonderful brush for removing
the brunette hairs from your coat

before your wife discovers them.

It's also good
for your bubble bath.

Now I recognize you.

So I'm a bubble-headed
dunce, eh?

So I'm a flannel-eared baboon?

Oh, I never thought of that.
But I bet it keeps your head warm.

Well, I see you've got
other things on your mind.

So, I'll come back
when you're not busy.

Too bad, Red.
I guess you lose.

Hey, that wasn't fair.
Commissioner Trist lives there.

And... Oh,
what's the difference?

If I'd have picked
another house,

Dracula would have
probably lived there.

I may as well admit it.
I lose.

Well, tough luck, old man.

I'll say goodbye
to Ann for you. (LAUGHS)

Hey, you.

Here! And stay out!

Just a minute.

Well, you're the only one who
hasn't taken a poke at me

but if you've got any ideas,
I warn you, I'll hit back.

I'm terribly sorry.

My husband has
an ungovernable temper.

Yeah, it must be
pretty hard on you

having to feed him raw
meat three times a day.

Is it that bad?
That bad? I'll say.

If I'd have sold
one brush at this house,

I could have won a bet,
a girl and maybe a job.

We can fix that.

How?

You mean, you'll buy a brush?

It's the least I can do to
make amends for my husband.

How many brushes
do you have to sell?

Only one.
I mean, 10, 10.

Oh, I'm sure you can use 10 brushes,
couldn't you, Mrs. Trist?

Oh, of course.
I'll take 10 of these.

Oh, boy, 10 brushes.
Not bad for a start.

Boy, Ann's going
to be proud of me.

I can't wait to
see the expression

on Wallick's face
when he finds out.

Well, goodbye.

Oh, I'm sorry I made any cracks
about your husband.

I'm sure you cook
his meat a little.

Your money.
You forgot to get paid.

Ann, I gave him all the breaks,
but right after you left,

he caused a riot at one house and
he got thrown out on his ear in the next.

I'm afraid he's a born failure.

Well, thanks anyway,
Mr. Wallick.

For you, Ann, anything.

You know that.

I did it! Congratulate me.
I did it.

I know you did.

Can't you ever do anything
without getting into trouble?

Well, I can take this kind of trouble
to any bank and get credit.

I sold 10 plastic brushes
to my last customer.

That ain't the way I saw it.

Oh, Red, did you
really sell them?

Sure. After he left,
I turned on the charm.

Brushes sold like bubble gum
at recess time.

Let me see your order blank.

I didn't use any order blanks.
I sold them right out of the case, see?

Now, here.
You can have your case back.

No order blank.
Now, wait a minute.

Red's new at this.

He could very easily have forgotten
to get his order blank signed.

Well, where's the money
for the brushes, Red?

Oh, gosh. I forgot
to get the money.

Oh, Red, you couldn't!

Ten brushes, you wouldn't
have just left them there?

He expects us
to believe anything.

And while we're at it,
those 10 brushes were mine.

Either put 'em back in the case
or put the money in my hand.

Ann, believe me, I did sell 'em.

And to prove it, I'll go back and get
the money and the order blanks signed.

Of course, I'll have
to change clothes.

A salesman has to put
his best foot forward, you know.

Wrong foot again.

(PIANO PLAYING)

Oh-oh! What's that?

(MEOWING)

Shame on you,
frightening people.

(PIANO PLAYING)

Very nice, Sara.

You haven't forgotten
any of my old favorites.

Sara seems to have
forgotten mine.

Perhaps she's engaged
to the wrong Mr. Trist.

Perhaps I am.

Gordon, if we have some
business to discuss...

In good time, Greg.
In good time.

(CRYING)

Don't cry, Sara.

So Mildred hooked him
before you could?

(CHUCKLES)
You still have me.

If you weren't my nephew, I...

Perish the thought, Uncle.

After all, I do want
to come into your money.

Apologize to Sara,
you little fool.

Make me!

I apologize.

After this, treat
Sara with some respect.

That guy's just the preliminary.
I'm probably the main event.

I'm tired of your
nasty insinuations.

Now, just a minute.
Gordon!

What's wrong?

Nothing.

I think we should
all have some tea.

Tea! Just what I need.

TRIST: What the...

Who is it, Williams?

Same guy, Mr. Trist.

Found him snooping
around the grounds, sir.

You! What are you
doing here again?

You tell me.
I caught him peeping in the window.

Well, the more the merrier!

Go round up some more, Williams.

Shut up, you!

I thought I told you to get away
from here and stay away!

Well, I only came back to
apologize for coming back.

This time I'm going
to put you out myself.

Hey, stop squeezing
my Adam's apple.

I'm not squeezing
your Adam's apple.

Well, how come
I can taste cider?

(GRUNTING)

(WOMAN SCREAMING)

SARA: The lights!
What happened to the lights?

GREGORY: Where's the switch?
FREDDIE: Look out!

(MAN GROANING)

MILDRED: What was that?
FREDDIE: Somebody fell.

SARA: There's someone on the floor.
MILDRED: Billings! The lights!

It's my husband!
GREGORY: What happened to Gordon?

FREDDIE: Trist's been stabbed!
SARA: There's blood!

FREDDIE: Uncle Gordon!
GREGORY: What happened?

(MILDRED GASPING)

Give me a hand.
Just a moment.

Easy. Put her over there.
Fix that pillow.

Here we are.
Put her down easy.

Get her some water.

He's been stabbed in the back.

Probably went
through to the heart.

(CRYING)

Hey, why don't that
guy pay his light bill

instead of going around
beating up on everybody?

What's the matter with her?
I don't feel any pulse.

Let's turn him over.
Don't touch anything!

Don't you leave! Don't
anybody leave this room!

What's the matter with him?
What's the matter with everybody?

So the lights
went out. What...

Police Department?

I wish to report a murder.

A murder?

Well, that's it, Lieutenant.

Thanks.

Find it yet, Roberts?

Not yet, Lieutenant.

Well, keep looking.
That knife's got to be here.

Get a matron up here
to search the women.

You and Brady
take care of the men.

Right, Lieutenant.

Can she talk?

I wouldn't advise it.

Severe shock.
I gave her a sedative.

How soon will it be?

Oh, a night's rest.

She'll be well enough to answer
questions in the morning.

Surely you don't suspect
Mrs. Trist, Lieutenant?

I suspect everybody.

You're all in the same room,
the lights go out.

When they come on again,
a man is dead.

No one left the room.

Someone in here
has to be the murderer.

Someone here stabbed Gordon Trist
to death in the dark.

They wiped the blood off the knife
on the murdered man's sleeve

and hid the knife.

A clever job of hiding,

but we'll find it.

We'll find it,
no matter where it's hidden.

Any luck, Foster?

Nothing here, Lieutenant.

Oh, you don't think that I...

I don't think until I'm sure,

but you were fighting with the
murdered man when the lights went out.

Yeah, but I didn't kill him.

When the lights went out,

I hid in the piano,
so I wouldn't get hurt.

Piano?

Take that piano apart, Charlie.

Yes, sir.

Say, Lieutenant, I think
you're barking up the wrong tree.

Now, I've seen a lot of
murders, in the movies.

And though you never suspect it
until the end of the picture,

the murderer is always the...

(SIGHS)
I'd like to hear some
more of your bright ideas.

Take them all down
to the station, boys.

(MUSIC PLAYING ON RADIO)

Oh, relax, honey.

That guy has squirmed out
of your life for good.

But I'm worried.

I wish I'd heard from him.

MAN: (ON RADIO)
We interrupt this program

to bring you a
special news bulletin.

Gordon Trist, Los Angeles
Commissioner of Sanitation

was stabbed to death tonight
at his palatial home in Bel Air.

Among the suspects
being held by the police

in connection with
the fatal stabbing

are Red Jones,
a Fuller Brush Man, and...

(TURNS OFF RADIO)

(CHUCKLES) Well,
you've heard from him.

We've gone over that room with everything
from a currycomb to a fluoroscope.

Ten experts with every gadget,

electronic whatnot and
gimmick known to science

and still no murder weapon.

We're dealing with
a very clever person.

It's always the butler.

Let Wallick and
Miss Elliot come in.

They've been here
all night, too.

Ann!
Oh, Red, what happened?

You didn't really do
what they're saying?

We'll determine that,
Miss Elliot.

Sorry to keep you waiting.

That's quite all right.
Glad to be of service.

Is this yours?

It is.
I loaned it to Red Jones.

Why did you loan it to him?

Well, it was the result of
a foolish bet he'd forced upon me,

with Miss Elliot as the stake.

He's always been jealous
of my attentions to Ann,

extremely jealous.

Why, I never knew when he might
turn his violence upon me.

But you're going to know now,
if you don't stop lying.

Look, all I wanted to do was to prove
I could sell Fuller Brushes, and I did.

You've got a satisfied customer
right in this room.

Mrs. Trist.

I never bought anything from this man.
My husband threw him out.

That's the last I saw of him

until our chauffeur
discovered him last night.

Look, I know you're upset
over what happened.

But remember out on the lawn,
you bought the brushes from me?

Oh, what is this?

You've got to make her remember.
I did sell those brushes.

Honest I did.

Look, what are you
trying to pull anyway?

Lieutenant, I've been
through a severe shock.

Must I stand for this?

This man's obviously guilty.

He hated Gordon for throwing him
out of the department.

Oh, I was sore, but I didn't...

You were fighting with Gordon
just before he was killed.

Yeah, but I didn't...

Accept my
congratulations, Jones.

I'm glad you got rid
of my uncle.

He was a no-good,
dirty chiseler.

Dirty is right.

For a Commissioner of Sanitation,
he sure left me in a mess.

I didn't!

Have some turkey, Mr. Jones.

Mr. Prosecutor, are you trying
to get something into me

or get something out of me?

You two have been firing
questions at me for 48 hours.

I'm still not guilty
and I'm not very hungry.

Oh, go ahead, it won't hurt you.

It's dead,
just like Gordon Trist.

(LAUGHS)

Here, carve it yourself.

Oh, you're sure this is
not a job for the coroner?

Hmm, you handle
that knife very well.

Thank you.
Now, look, I didn't kill him.

And I don't like your
a la carte insinuations.

Oh, come now, we're treating
you like an honored guest.

Oh?

Although we know you're guilty.

If you play ball with us,
we'll treat you even nicer.

Oh?

What's the matter,
Mr. Jones, nervous?

Nervous? Me?

No. What have I got
to be nervous about?

I told you I was innocent.

Strong coffee.

(CRACKING)

Weak cups.

Will you excuse us
a moment, please?

Oh, come back anytime.

Well, there's no doubt about it,

you serve the finest
third degree in town.

Got a match?

I didn't do it!

Looks like our little chum
is going to stay mum.

If I can't locate that murder weapon,
I've got to let him go.

We've held him 48 hours.

Without the murder weapon,
I can't bring him before the grand jury.

Mmm, maybe I can't
hold him after tomorrow,

but I'll have him tailed,
wire his apartment,

tap his phone, read his mail,

and water his geraniums
if I have to.

In all my years as District Manager,
this is the first time

our name has been
associated with scandal.

Lieutenant, have you seen these?

"Fuller Brush Man's motto,
buy or die!"

"Doorknocker knocks off
reluctant customer."

Can't you do something about
this horrible publicity?

Take it up with Jones.
We're letting him go.

Letting him go?

After what he's done to the
good name of Fuller Brushes?

And he wasn't even
a Fuller Brush Man.

Just a freelance idiot!
(PHONE RINGING)

You can't hang a man
for that in my office.

Well, you can in mine.

For you, Lieutenant.

Quint speaking.

Oh, hello, Ferguson.
How's it going?

We're in Jones' apartment.

Testing behind the radiator now.

It's all wired for sound.
Yeah, the acoustics are perfect.

You can hear
a shoelace being tied.

You can release Jones now.

Fine. Stand by.

Here's an okay on Jones.

Let him go.
Yes, sir.

Did you say
Mr. Jones is innocent?

I said we're letting him
go free.

Oh, thank heaven.

Now, listen, Ann, you're not going
to waste any more sympathy on that...

Shut up, Wallick!

And next time you feel
magnanimous about helping morons,

remember,
charity begins at home.

Oh, it's not Mr. Wallick's fault.
It was all my idea.

You see, I thought that if Red could
make a go of being a Fuller Brush Man,

that, well, I thought that...

Oh, what's the difference?
I'm sorry, Mr. Seward.

And don't worry about me
wasting sympathy on him anymore.

I realize now that he's...

He's hopeless.

RED: (LAUGHS) Well,
thanks for everything!

You must sleep over at my
place some time. (CHUCKLES)

Oh, hi, Ann.

I'm sorry about all of this,
but it wasn't my fault.

Now that I'm going to be a Fuller
Brush Man, things will be different.

I'll be the biggest thing that
ever hit the Fuller Brush Company.

It might be just the opposite.

Mr. Seward!

Now that I've cleared myself,

maybe I could come up to
the office and have that little talk.

You'd better not, because
then I might be up for murder.

And I wouldn't want to
be up for murdering you.

I've got too good a motive.

And as for you, well, I'll speak
to both of you in the morning.

Oh, that's swell. Now maybe
I'll lose my dealership.

I only worked
12 years to build it up

and this chowderhead
tore it down in one day.

What's everybody
so touchy about?

Nothing. Nothing at all.
Just the same old thing.

Red Jones has done it again.
Mr. Trouble.

Open a door for him and he brings
the house down on your head.

Oh, you're great, Red.

You lost this chance
even before you started.

And you dragged
your friends in with you.

I always expect
the worst from you

and you never let me down.

Who gets this?

That might as well be me.

I'm always left holding the bag.

Oh, I'm sorry.
I thought this was my apartment.

It is, Mr. Jones.

Now look, sis, I don't know
what you want to buy,

but this time I ain't selling.

Is that any way
to greet a visitor?

You don't seem
very glad to see me.

After all, I was very nice to you
when you called at my house.

I'm sorry.

Make yourself at home,
but not in my home.

Please?

Check it somewhere else, sister!

(MUFFLED CHATTERING)

Hey, what was the idea
of telling those cops

you didn't buy
any brushes from me?

I was only trying to help you.

Help me?
Yeah.

Help me get a fast ride
down that last mile.

But you're wrong.

If they knew we'd met
and talked before,

they might think
we're in this together.

They might suspect both of us.

Poor Gordon's real murderer
would go free.

Still, we are in it together,

even though we're innocent.

We must work together
and stick together.

Well, what about Ann?

Will you tell her you bought
the brushes from me?

Of course I'll tell her.

Stay right where you are.
I hope she's not out with Wallick.

I hope she's not
home with Wallick.

(PHONE RINGING)

Hello?

Hello, Ann? This is Red.
Can you come right over to my place?

No!

Look, Red, maybe
I didn't make myself clear.

Let me put it this way.
We're through!

He said he can prove Mrs. Trist
really did buy those brushes.

Oh, but I'm not falling for those
ridiculous explanations any longer.

(PHONE RINGING)

(IN ANGRY TONE) Hello.

Ann, believe me.
Mrs. Trist is in my place right now.

You've got to come over.

I'll be expecting you.

Ann's coming over and you can
explain to her about the brushes.

That'll square me with her.

Hey, what's this
bristle comb doing here?

I thought you bought all of these.

Now I remember.
I only had nine of them.

That must be mine, too.

Oh. Well, don't forget
to pay me for them.

And while you dig up some cash,
I'll dig up some food.

Boy, am I hungry!

How's it going?

Something went haywire.

She does it every time.

Oh!
Oh, I'm sorry.

That's all right.
The ironing board always does that.

That's why my head's got a
better press than my pants.

Come on in.
Kitchen's kind of small.

It used to be a telephone booth
before the housing shortage.

Here, you chop up the onions
for the salad, huh?

Nothing's coming in
on the system.

You know,
maybe Red is telling the truth.

After all,
Mrs. Trist could be lying.

Oh, not a chance.
Quint knows Red is guilty.

The cops just let him go so they
could watch every move he makes.

Are you sure?
Absolutely.

Why, Lieutenant Quint wants me
to make a full report.

I'm sort of working
undercover for the police.

Where are you going?

I wouldn't walk out on Red
when he was in trouble.

I thought he was really free.

Oh, then I'm going with you,
if only to protect you.

That man is a criminal.

I'm going to see that
he's brought to justice.

I really must go.

Oh, you can't leave now.
Ann will be here any minute.

You have her call me at home.

I'll tell her you
sold me the brushes.

(DOORBELL BUZZING)

Don't go away.
Don't go away.

That's Ann.

Ann! Oh!

(BUZZING CONTINUES)

Hey, it isn't Ann.
Who is it?

It's that girl
that was at your place.

Sara Franzen?
Yeah, that's her.

We mustn't be seen together.

Is there another way out?

Yeah, right through that window,
four stories straight down.

Well, get rid of her and
don't let her know I'm here.

Okay.

(BUZZING CONTINUES)

Just a minute!

What's wrong with this thing?
Can't you fix it?

As soon as that Trist dame
came in, our volume went down.

Next time, we dump slot machines
in the bay, include this.

(DOORBELL BUZZING)

Keep your shirt on!

Look, I'm...

I'm not used to doors slamming
in my face, Mr. Jones.

Well, you can't come in.
I'm taking a bath.

With your trousers on?

Well, it's a very small tub.

I can only get half of
my body in at a time.

Oh.

Dry water.

Very interesting.

Oh, all right. Come on in.

What do you want?

Is that any way
to greet a visitor?

RED: What did you say?

SARA: Is that any way
to greet a visitor?

That's when we came in!

RED: Well, what do you
want to do? Scrub my back?

SARA: Mr. Jones, I just didn't
know which way to turn.

RED: Well, I got a TL for you.

You can turn around
and get out of here.

SARA: Mr. Jones,
please listen to me.

I just had to come to see you.

Well, you've seen all of me
you're going to see.

(MUFFLED CHATTERING)

That was Sara Franzen.
Now what's wrong with it?

It keeps the radiator warm.
Let's start talking.

You've got to
help me, Mr. Jones.

You're the only one I can trust.

How come all of a sudden
everybody trusts me?

I think Mrs. Trist
lied to the police.

I'm almost sure I saw several
new brushes in her room.

May I see the brushes
in your case, please?

If they are the same kind...

You see, everybody thinks there was
something between me and Gordon.

Oh, but I love his nephew.

I love Freddie.

I love him. I love him.

So you love him.

Now do you understand
how I feel?

No, but I can understand
how Freddie feels.

(DOORBELL BUZZING)
Oh, that's Ann!

Here, you can't undress in here!
(GASPS)

How'd that get here?
Put that on!

Where?

The same place you had it before.
I mean, in here. In here.

(BUZZING CONTINUES)

Ann! Freddie!

(DOORBELL BUZZING)

Oh, it's Freddie!

Freddie? Oh, he's
madly jealous of me.

If he finds me in your bedroom,
he'll kill you.

Kill me?
Yes.

Why should he? You've
still got your hat on.

You'd better hide in the kitchen.
I'd rather have her kill me.

Ooh! I'm sorry.

Hello, Sara.
What a cute hat.

(BUZZING CONTINUES)

Well, will you start
peeling the onions?

Now, look, if you think
you're coming in here,

you got another thought coming!

Well, now that I've thought
it over, please come in.

I have an idea Sara's here.

No, she's not here.
But if she comes around,

I'll tell her
you were asking for her.

(DOORBELL BUZZING)

(WHISPERING)
That's her now.
Let her in.

Don't say a word.
Let her talk. I want to listen.

That isn't Sara.

Open the door.

No, no, please, please
don't go in the kitchen.

Let her in.
And remember, this gun is loaded.

So is the kitchen.

Hello, Freddie. I see you've changed
from knives to guns.

It can't hurt anyone.
It isn't loaded.

Sara, what are you doing here?

(DOORBELL BUZZING)

Let me in.

Any of you folks expecting
two tough-looking mugs?

No, and I'm getting out of here.

Use your skeleton key.

Hey, wait. I'll see if
they're still out there.

(GRUNTS)

Not a sound out of any of you.

Start looking.

Here, that's my good suit.

Oh, stop it, will you?
I'm responsible for these things.

This'll get us nothing.
I'm going up there.

Now look, sloppy, I don't
have a maid here today.

Sit down!
Hmm?

What are you looking for,
a punch in the nose?

No. What are
you looking for?

Hey, you're wrecking
my apartment.

What do you guys want?

Just came up to buy
some brushes, Mr. Fuller.

RED: Oh, my name's not Fuller.
You got the wrong apartment.

Shh! Stop making
so much noise.

I don't mind you breaking my furniture,
but don't break my lease.

(DOORBELL BUZZING)

Who's that?

Your guess is as good as mine.
I've been wrong every time.

Take them in there.
I'll cover the redhead.

Get rid of whoever it is.

And remember, I got you covered.

One wrong move and you get it.

I got it.

Am I intruding?

Lieutenant Quint, come in.

Am I glad to see you!

Happy and honored to have a member
of the police force pay me a visit.

Yes, sir, happy to have
you here, Lieutenant.

Just loosen your holster
and make yourself at home.

I changed the furniture around.

I'm sure it looked better
the way you had it.

Oh, no.
It was too formal.

QUINT: Low on closets, eh?

No, just long on coats.
Just throw it anywhere.

Sure I'm not intruding?

No. No, not at all. You...

No. No. I was just spending a nice quiet
evening at home with my books.

I'd hate to leave you alone
with my books.

(DOORBELL BUZZING)

Oh, pardon me.
Come in.

Ann! What a surprise!

So it's true.

They still think you
killed Gordon Trist.

Oh, how can you be so blind?

Red never harmed
anyone in his life.

Oh, Red. They just
let you go to trap you.

Say, let's get this straight.
Are you with him or against him?

With him, when he's in trouble.

Isn't that wonderful?
I'm always in trouble.

Well, I'll leave you two
to kiss and make up.

I've got to go.

No, no, no, no.
Why don't you stay and trap me?

QUINT: It's a good idea,
but two's company.

RED: Well, maybe I could
leave you two alone.

That is, I'll fix you
a sandwich or something.

We'd love for him to stay,
wouldn't we, Ann?

No. And by the way, where's Mrs. Trist?
You said she was here.

That ought to prove something
to you, Lieutenant.

Trist? She thought
I said Trist.

Prist. Mrs. Prist.

She's the one with the
low-slung jaw like that, see?

Her husband was a heavy smoker

and he married her so
he'd have an extra ashtray.

What did Mrs. Prist
come here for?

Well, you can never
understand what she says.

You've got to lean
over like this and...

Come to think of it, I will stay.
I haven't eaten today.

Well, if you'll remember,
I haven't, either.

This time we'll forget the questions

and concentrate on
our little tummies, huh?

Ann, you entertain
the Lieutenant.

I'll go get things going.

Well, can't I help?
I want to talk to you.

Oh, no, no.

You know how small
the kitchen is and...

You stay with the Lieutenant.

Get rid of that flatfoot.

I can't. He's hungry.
He wants something to eat.

Better eat, too, redhead.
This may be your last supper.

Oh. There goes
my appetite.

Here, peel the
potatoes, will you?

And you open up a can of stew
and you fix the coffee.

(SNIFFLING)

Can't you peel a smaller one?

Yeah.

Nice gun you got.

Yeah.

Hmm. You're quite
handy in the kitchen.

Sure you didn't have
some help in there?

No. No, I learned
to cook from my mother.

Her specialty was stew.

She threw everything in the pot except
what we were going to wear that day.

QUINT: So nothing unusual happened
since you left my office, eh?

No. Nothing unusual.
And that's unusual.

Well, if you have any visitors,
let me know. I've got to be going now.

I'll see you to
the door, Lieutenant.

You're going?
Well, you haven't had your coffee yet.

Wait, I'll get it.

Why hasn't that guy gone yet?

He's going as soon
as he has his coffee.

Don't kid me.
And remember,

one word out of you to that guy

and you're going to end up
in a detective story magazine,

air conditioned.

I won't say a word.

I'll join you in a cup of coffee,
Lieutenant, if you'll jump in first.

Come and get it
while it's hot, Lieutenant.

Oh, and it's hot.

(WHISPERS) Where is he?
(LOUDLY) He just left...

(SHUSHING)
(MUFFLED CHATTER)

Where?
He had to go...

(SHUSHING)

Here, Lieutenant,
how will you have your sugar?

With one or two cups of coffee?

Have some more cream, Quint.

You look as if you could stand
some more weight. (LAUGHS)

Just dunk away.
Roll up your sleeves there.

You can't catch cold as long
as you keep your elbows dry.

Red, for heaven sakes...
(SHUSHING)

There's two gorillas
here with guns.

(SOFTLY) Guns?
(LOUDLY) Who has guns?

Why, Lieutenant Quint
has guns, look.

Look at the size
of those pistols.

Why, they're big
enough for elephants.

'Course I never saw
an elephant carry a gun.

Did you say gorillas?

No, no, no. Elephants.

I understand you're quite
a crack shot, Lieutenant.

Why, they tell me you can split a
wet noodle lengthwise at 50 yards.

(WHISPERS)
There's two guys here with guns.

One's in the kitchen,
the other's in the bedroom.

(MIMICS QUINT)
That's right, son.

I used to be a big game hunter.

Got so I didn't have
to shoot critters.

They see me coming,
they just up and surrender.

(LAUGHS)

Oh, that's good.

Red!
Mmm-hmm?

Red, why don't you
put the furniture back?

Why?

(WHISPERS) Block the doors.

And I'll pour Lieutenant Quint
another cup of coffee.

RED: That's a good idea.

Hold your cup, Lieutenant.

Give him a lot of it.

I'm going to the Trist house.
I'll check with you from there.

Yeah, things are beginning
to make some sense now.

Looks like Mrs. Trist
is in this with Red.

Right. Keep that
recorder going.

RED: How does the chair
look here, Lieutenant?

(MIMICS QUINT)
Well, the only chair
I know anything about

is wired
for electricity. (LAUGHS)

(IN NORMAL TONE)
Boy, is he corny.

(RED LAUGHS)

He'll pay for that remark.

That reminds me
of a joke, Lieutenant.

Now, don't stop me if you've heard it
because I'm dying to hear it again.

It seems there was a fellow
about to be electrocuted

and the warden said to him,

"Do you have any last wish?"

And the guy says, "Yeah.
I wish you was sitting on my lap."

(LAUGHS)

Yeah, you should have
stopped me.

That'll hold 'em.
Come on.

Noticed anything peculiar
about the coffee?

No. It should have been
good to the last bristle.

(WHISTLES)

Hey, this is the brush
Mrs. Trist wanted.

Well, what's it doing
in the coffeepot?

Mmm.

Hey, look, that plastic,
it's soft, it bends.

Look how that stretches.

This must be the brush
those gorillas were looking for.

Oh, why did Lieutenant Quint
have to leave?

JIGGERS: Hey, Skitch!
They've got the brush!

Help! Get out of the place.
The building's on fire! Hurry!

There's an earthquake. Hurry!

Help! Help! Help!
There's a fire in the house.

At least this'll get your mother
out of the house.

(ALL CLAMORING)

...automobiles right away.

We're taking orders for automobiles.
There's a fire.

Immediate delivery.
Get out fast.

Hurry, hurry, hurry!

We've got to get this
to Lieutenant Quint.

It must be important.
Everybody wants it.

You're right, Red.
(CAR HONKING)

What's going on here, Ann?

I won't have you consorting
with this criminal.

Get in, Red.
Quick! Quick!

Come on, step on the gas.
Get going.

Oh, not me!

I'm not helping
any murderer to escape.

Police! Help! Help!

RED: Well, that
ought to help. Hurry.

Come on!

Get going! Hurry!
I'm gone.

RED: Don't you see?
This is a clue.

It must be a clue.
Somebody hid it in the coffeepot.

I've got to get it to Quint.
He's got to know about it.

Please, Sergeant.
Where is he?

A clue.

The next thing
you'll be telling me,

Trist was murdered with a brush.

Hey, he's right.
Trist was murdered with this brush.

Why didn't we think of that?

Oh, Sergeant, you're wonderful.

Sure. Sure.
I even know how it happened.

The murderer
tickled him to death.

Listen, lady, I can't send you
to Quint with those goofy ideas.

He'd hand me back
my traffic whistle

and tell me to
blow my brains out.

We'll take that chance.

Sure, where is he?

At the Trist house.
Come on.

You'll take that chance?

Is Lieutenant Quint here?
Who is it, Billings?

It's that brush person.

Where's Lieutenant Quint?
He just left.

Where'd he go?
Oh, we've got to find him.

I'm sorry.
He didn't say where he was going.

Selling brushes at this hour,
Mr. Jones?

Not this one. This one's
for Lieutenant Quint.

It's the murder weapon.

(CHUCKLING) Oh,
come now, Mr. Jones.

Hasn't your company had enough
publicity out of this tragedy?

You think I'm kidding, huh?
Where's your kitchen?

Kitchen? Don't tell me a Fuller Brush
is also good to eat.

No. But this one stopped
somebody from eating.

Come on.

Now watch.

The boiling water will
make that handle soft

and you can bend it
into any shape you want.

Now, that's exactly
what the murderer did.

Extremely interesting,

but why didn't the police find
that brush after the murder?

Surely, a handle that shape
would have attracted attention.

Look, Red, it's softening.

Look.

It is.
It's changing its shape.

ANN: Hey, it's going back
to its original form.

Jones, you've hit it.

I read about that
stuff in a magazine.

Plastic with a memory,
it's called.

No matter what you do to it,

it always returns to its
original shape when it's heated.

And that's how the murderer
hid the weapon.

After the murder,
the brush was heated again

and thrown on the floor
with my brushes.

It looked like one
of the regular brushes.

Oh, good heavens.
I've been carrying it around with me.
(LAUGHS)

Hey, Mrs. Trist
was going to serve tea.

There was boiling
water in that teapot.

You don't think
it was Mrs. Trist, do you?

Why, I don't know,
but she bought the brushes.

And she came to
your apartment tonight.

She tried awful hard to get
this brush away from me.

I can't believe it.

Well, I can.
It must be her.

Lieutenant Quint's
got to see about...

Mr. Cruckston,
telephone, sir.

Oh, excuse me.

That's all right.

Come on. We're going back
to the police headquarters.

(GASPING) Oh.

This may square you with me.

Hello. Yes, this
is Gregory Cruckston.

Bad news, Chief.
That Jones guy got away.

He's here with me.

Get Skitch and the boys
and wait at the warehouse.

Okay, Chief.
We'll be waiting for you.

We'll be right down.
Yes, I'll bring Mr. Jones with me.

Who was that?

Lieutenant Quint.
He wants us down at my warehouse.

We haven't a minute to lose.

He's uncovered
some new evidence.

Oh, is that right? Is it Mrs. Trist?
I bet he knew it all the time.

He didn't say.

(GRUNTS)

...and that's why I had to come
and see you, Lieutenant.

It seemed more than
coincidence the murder weapon

and the brush I bought
from Mr. Jones

should have disappeared
at the same time.

The notion struck me that
they could be one and the same.

Interesting theory,
Mrs. Trist.

We've been working
on that ourselves.

There are some, however,

who believe your husband
was tickled to death.

I found the missing brush
tonight at Mr. Jones' apartment.

When those two hoodlums started
looking for a brush, I...

I realized I was
on the right track.

I was afraid
they'd find it on me,

so I hid it in the coffeepot
hoping you'd find it.

Hmm. Nice of you to let us into
your confidence, Mrs. Trist.

First, you didn't buy
brushes from Jones.

Now it seems you did
buy brushes from Jones.

See she isn't disturbed
while she makes up her mind.

I'm telling you
the truth, Lieutenant.

That's all, Mrs. Trist.

Oh, no, Lieutenant.
Not again, please.

Certainly is dark here.
And damp.

We're near the waterfront.

Sure is a spooky place
to have an office.

(FOG HORN BLARING)

Telephone's ringing.

"War Surplus Warehouse."

We sell our goods in
stores all over the country.

The entrance is right over here.

Hey, you know, I bought a
walkie-talkie at a war surplus store.

It was good for talking,
but I couldn't get it to walk. (CHUCKLING)

Gordon Trist was
my silent partner.

Yeah, he's pretty silent
right now, ain't he?

Afraid so. While he was alive,
he used his influence

to help me buy up millions of dollars
worth of war materials.

Yeah?

Hey, what a wonderful
spot for a murder.

Oh, Red, don't talk like that.

Well, it is, isn't it,
Mr. Cruckston?

I couldn't think
of a better place.

Yeah.

You know, I've been reconstructing
the crime in my mind.

I should be working
with the homicide bureau.

Philo Jones, that's me.

You know, you're right
about Mrs. Trist.

If she weren't guilty,

she would never have
denied buying those brushes.

Yeah, that's her story,
but her husband got stuck with it.

Look, first thing she did was to take
a brush and shape it like a knife.

Then she wheeled in the teacart.

The lights go out.

(GRUNTING) There's a body
on the floor.

She takes the weapon
and drops it into the teapot.

(MIMICS BUBBLING)

Now the lights come up.

She takes the weapon
out of the teapot,

but it's an ordinary brush again.

She throws it on the floor
with my brushes and...

Well, I'm fired from
the homicide bureau.

Well, what's wrong?

Well, how could she take
the brush out of the teapot

if she were unconscious or pretending
to be when the lights came on?

She could have
had an accomplice.

Hmm. That's it.

Someone must have helped her.

Now, let's see.

Who was standing close
by the boiling water?

There was the butler
and the maid.

Now, the butler or the maid, either
one could have helped kill Mr. Trist.

Everybody has servant problems.

Were they near the teacart?

Yeah, and they weren't just
reading tea leaves, either.

And the only other ones
were Mrs. Trist...

The maid, the butler
and who, Mr. Jones?

Oh, I just remembered.
You were right beside the teacart.

(LAUGHS) Can you imagine?

For a second I thought
he did it. (LAUGHING)

Why, that's a good one.

Why, what dopes we'd be

to come to a deserted warehouse
if he were the murderer.

That would mean that
this is all just a gag

and that Lieutenant Quint
wouldn't be in the office

and we'd be a couple
of dead ducks.

Because he'd be sure to kill us.

Wouldn't want us to tell
how the murder was committed.

Be quite a little joke
on us, eh, Mr. Cruckston?

You'll probably die laughing.
Now, get in there!

Oh, Red, it was him!
He did it!

Now she tells me.

CRUCKSTON: All right,
break up the game.

Okay, we're on our last hand now.
Four aces.

Got the boat ready?
Our friends are taking a trip.

Boat?

Oh, I can't stand boats.
I get seasick.

I'd just be a nuisance.

Why don't you fellows
go by yourselves?

Come on, boys.

We'll finish the game
when we get back.

Oh, now don't let us interrupt.

We don't want to break
up their game, do we?

Especially after you've
got all those extra aces.

What do you mean, extra aces?

Oh, I saw you hide them
under the blotter.

Murder's one thing,
but cheating at cards...

(CLICKS TONGUE) You ought
to be ashamed of yourself!

Never mind that!
Come on. Get going.

You don't think he was
cheating, huh? Well, look.

(GUN FIRING)

RED: Hurry!

(WHOOPING)

Come on, I'll catch you.

(SCREAMING)

Who left all these
walnut shells around?

You murdering kidnapper.
Now I've got you.

Sorry, Mr. Wallick.

Slow me down!
Slow me down!

I got him, fellas.
I got him. Call the cops.

Sorry, Mr. Wallick!

Ooh!
Oh, no!

Come on!

Oh, Red, what are we going to do?
There's no way out of here.

Well, here,
put this over the door.

I thought
I stepped on you at first.

Here, maybe we can
get some help with these.

I used a walkie-talkie
in the Army.

Oh, it's too late.
They're coming!

Well, well, here.
Blow this up.

ANN: How?

It's simple.
You pull this.

Here, put it against the door.

Where did you go?

Uh-huh. Right here.
Oh!

Here, pull it up there.
(GRUNTING)

I'll tune these in on every wavelength.
Someone's bound to hear us.

Help, police.

Come to the Cruckston Warehouse.
Help, police!

MAN ON RADIO:
Now, a message from our sponsor.

RED: (OVER RADIO) Help, help, police!
Come to the Cruckston Warehouse!

Those commercials are
getting sillier every day!

Help, police! Beaver Patrol
to the rescue! Help, police!

(GRUNTING)

Blow up some more!

Help, police!
Come to the Cruckston Warehouse!

MAN ON RADIO: And now, the celebrated
fashion designer, Jean Louis,

will give us his opinion
of the new longer dresses.

RED: (OVER RADIO)
Blow 'em up. Blow 'em up!
Get air in 'em. Blow 'em up!

MAN ON RADIO: And now, we shall hear
the senator from Massachusetts,

who will speak on what the government
should do about big business.

RED: (OVER RADIO)
Blow 'em up. Blow 'em up!
Hurry, blow 'em up!

That's the Democrats for you!

Help, police! Come to
the Cruckston Warehouse!

There he is.
Come on!

Come here, you!
Help!

Leave her alone!
Help! Red!

Get your dirty hands off of her!

RED: (OVER RADIO) Take your
dirty hands off that girl.

I told you to take
your hands off her.

Leave her alone!

Come here, you!

I told you to leave her alone!
ANN: Red!

(GASPING)
Hurry!

Help!

MAN ON TV:
Leaping Leo, the Bulgarian Backbreaker
is trying for a hammerlock.

The champion is fighting back.

It's anyone's match.
It's a real fight, folks.

The Bulgarian Backbreaker
is down.

He's taking a terrific beating.

Listen to him yell.

ANN: Help! Help!
Oh, someone please help!

Leave me alone! Help!

Come to the Cruckston
Warehouse. Help! Help!

MAN ON RADIO: And this is what
a satisfied user of Simon's Sausage

has to say about
Simon's Sausage...

RED: Help! They're killing me!

ANN: We can't
hold out much longer.

That's right. They always
give me heartburn.

Hurry! Hurry!

Come to the Cruckston Warehouse.
Hurry, please! Help!

Lieutenant Quint, come to the
Cruckston Warehouse, please! Help!

Help, help, help!

Help! Help!

Help! They're killing me!

(CHOKING)

MAN ON RADIO: And when you smoke
that fresh cigarette, Old Bluckies,

your throat will
feel like this...

(RED CHOKING)

(RED COUGHING)

RED: Help! Help!
They're killing me!

(COUGHING CONTINUES)

RED: Blow up some more.

ANN: I am. I'm blowing.
Blow 'em up!

(LOUD BURST ON RADIO)

MAN ON RADIO: That brings to a close
our program of slumber music.

Here, take these,
in case of an emergency.

Blow 'em up. Blow 'em up!
Get air in 'em!

Blow 'em up!

The Thin Man
must have lived here.

Come on!

I wonder if there's
a diner on this train.

You know, this looks familiar.

Steal my girl and car, will you?

Hurry. Get up there!
All right.

RED: Here I come,
ready or not.

Go away, boys.
We want to be alone!

(ANN GRUNTING)
Steady. Steady.

ANN: Oh, Red.

This is a fine time
to play see-saw.

Wish I'd worn my heavier girdle.

(GASPING)

Here, here, here, I know you like
pretzels, but let's not overdo it.

Knucklehead'll need
some new knuckles!

And all I wanted to do
was to sell Fuller Brushes.

Even with his ears it fits!

Come on.
Get on my back!

You're going backwards!

I can't see where I'm going.

Take your finger out of my mouth.
I'm not a baby.

They're catching me!

Here, put your feet in my pockets
and stop squirming around, will you?

Stop hanging on my eyelids!

(ANN EXCLAIMS)

My nose, my nose,
let go of my nose!

Hey, I'm beginning to
feel like a wishbone.

Jump!
Jump? Oh, you're kidding!

(GRUNTING) Let go of that!

MAN: Ow!

RED: Oh, get away, boys.
You bother me.

Oh!

(BOTH GRUNTING)

Oh! Don't!

Hey, get me off of here!

Oh, turn off this Mixmaster!

Red, here they come!

Keep going!
Someone has to get flattened out.

(BOTH EXCLAIMING)

ANN: Where do
we go from here?

You better jump.
I'll try to balance this.

Red, are you all right?

Good morning, madam.
Would you like to buy a brush?

(SCOFFS)

Gee, I hate to break up
their pinochle game.

(FIRE ALARM RINGING)

(SIRENS WAILING)

Now I got you, you killer!
I got him, fellas! I got him!

Stop it!

Sorry, Mr. Wallick!

Here, put him under here.

Who are you?
I'm Mr. Wallick.

Sorry, Mr. Wallick.
Thank you. Oh, no, don't hit me!

(MUMBLING)

(BOTH YELLING)

Take that!

Come on, just when
I'm getting to enjoy this.

ANN: I can't stand up!

Well, here comes
the Rover Boys again.

Red! Oh!

Hey, get your foot
out of my mouth!

Red! Red!
Watch it, Red!

RED: I haven't been so crowded
since I slept with...

Red!

Red, come on,
hurry! Oh!

Hey, let go. Let go!
You're killing me.

I can't hold on much longer.

You'd better. You won't
like it down there.

Begging your pardon, sir.

But you seem to be leaving
with my portion of the money.

Get out of here.
Not until I get what's coming to me.

I carried out your plan.

I expect you to live up to
the rest of our agreement.

What are you going to do?

For delivering one dead gentleman,
I merely wanted my share.

Now it seems if I deliver two dead
gentlemen, I can have both shares.

(THUDS)

It's always the butler, sir.

(ALL CLAMORING)

Fine camouflage net.
Everywhere I go, they see me.

MAN: Hold onto Jones!
Don't let him get away!

Get the girl!

(YELLING)

(SCREAMS)

(SCREAMS)

...then we had the FCC mobile
unit put a fix on the call.

They traced it to a waterfront warehouse.
Cruckston's in San Pedro.

A guy named Red Jones was
calling for you, Lieutenant.

Red Jones?
Let's get going, boys.

Oh, no! No, not me!

(EXCLAIMING)

Oh! My foot!

Red!

Oh, my leg! My leg!
You burned my foot off.

Red, the Fire Department!
They're here!

We're saved!

Get this window open.

It won't open.

We can let them know
we're up here.

Hey, I'll send up a flare.

Stand back!

Now, one move and
I'll fill you so full of flares,

you'll be able to read
by your own light.

Red, the door's
over here. Come on.

Stand back, fellas.

I don't want any more
trouble with you.

You keep on and you're gonna...

You'll end up
like a pinball machine.

Oh, it's locked, Red!

Tilt it.

Heh! Now you want to
be a glowworm, huh?

Back up. Go on.

Get over to the window.
We got to get word to the fire chief.

Help! Help!

Those are the right words,
only say them louder.

Where's the fire?

Fire? There's no fire.

No fire? We got
the alarm from here.

There must be
some mistake, Captain.

There's no one here but me.
You can see for yourself.

There's no fire.

And who are you?

I'm Mr. Cruckston's
man, sir.

He sent for me to bring down
the car and wait for him here.

Okay. False alarm, boys.
Probably a short circuit.

We're up here! Help! Help!
They don't hear me.

Well, keep yelling.
Help!

Oh, Red, the fire
engines are leaving.

Oh, no.

Well, there's only one thing
to do is send up the flare.

Hey, put that down!
Get back! Don't ever do that again!

Don't just stand there.
Do something!

I'll do something.
Get over there!

Get over there, will you?
Go on! Get. You, too, get over there.

Get up against the wall.

Get over there.
Now, I'm going to let you have it.

Well, I wonder if this
company was investigated.

Back up! Back up
or I'll light this.

So help me, I'll light it.
You'd better back up...

Oh, I've lit it! Help!

Turn around and go back!

Look, I don't mind carrying a torch
for you, but this is ridiculous.

Where are you going?

Grab 'em, boys!

I'll get a pull motor.

No, I'm all right.

Are you all right, Red?

Yeah.
Are you sure?

You all right? Oh.

Just a minute. Just a minute.
Arrest that man.

Why? Is there
a law against it?

What a kiss.

What a Fuller Brush Man.