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REPORTERS: Southwark Crown Court
where Charles Ingram...
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00:00:15,860 --> 00:00:17,836
Army Major Charles Ingram
and his wife Diana
3
00:00:17,860 --> 00:00:20,196
arriving at court today
to face the cameras.
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00:00:20,220 --> 00:00:21,836
Inside, Ingram is to hear claims
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00:00:21,860 --> 00:00:23,836
that he teamed up
with a coughing accomplice,
6
00:00:23,860 --> 00:00:26,836
alleged to be
college lecturer Tecwen Whittock,
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00:00:26,860 --> 00:00:29,836
to cheat his way
to the £1 million jackpot
8
00:00:29,860 --> 00:00:33,836
on ITV's hit quiz show,
Who Wants To Be A Millionaire.
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00:00:33,860 --> 00:00:34,860
CLAMOURING
10
00:01:02,860 --> 00:01:04,836
Oh, hello.
11
00:01:04,860 --> 00:01:06,860
I believe we're charged with
co-conspiracy.
12
00:01:08,700 --> 00:01:09,836
It's nice to meet you both
13
00:01:09,860 --> 00:01:12,356
at last.
14
00:01:12,380 --> 00:01:16,836
Yes, the accused look,
and to all intents and purposes, are
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00:01:16,860 --> 00:01:19,836
respectable middle-class,
middle-aged,
16
00:01:19,860 --> 00:01:21,836
middle England men and women.
17
00:01:21,860 --> 00:01:25,836
At the end of the day,
this was just a game.
18
00:01:25,860 --> 00:01:29,676
A television quiz show
enjoyed by millions,
19
00:01:29,700 --> 00:01:31,836
but creating in a select few
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00:01:31,860 --> 00:01:33,876
this unhealthy obsession
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00:01:33,900 --> 00:01:38,036
that spilled over
into an audacious heist.
22
00:01:38,060 --> 00:01:40,196
Who wanted to be a millionaire?
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00:01:40,220 --> 00:01:42,836
My God, these three certainly did.
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00:01:42,860 --> 00:01:45,836
You are facing a 50-50,
25
00:01:45,860 --> 00:01:48,836
guilty or not guilty.
26
00:01:48,860 --> 00:01:51,860
The Crown believes the answer
to be self-evident.
27
00:01:52,860 --> 00:01:55,860
They are guilty as charged.
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00:02:03,860 --> 00:02:06,836
REPORTER: Today, one home in three
throughout the British Isles
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00:02:06,860 --> 00:02:10,836
sits spellbound several hours a day
before a magic cube.
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00:02:10,860 --> 00:02:13,836
A new public service
is about to be launched
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00:02:13,860 --> 00:02:15,836
over the rooftops of old London.
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00:02:15,860 --> 00:02:18,036
Here it is, ladies and gentlemen,
a holiday of a lifetime.
33
00:02:18,060 --> 00:02:20,836
You've won a marvellous
14-day holiday for two.
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00:02:20,860 --> 00:02:23,836
You've got a radiogram
and a nice easy chair to sit on.
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00:02:23,860 --> 00:02:25,836
Bern is the capital of...
Switzerland.
36
00:02:25,860 --> 00:02:27,836
Edinburgh.
Scotland.
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00:02:27,860 --> 00:02:31,836
This wonderful microwave oven and a
superb range of kitchen equipment.
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00:02:31,860 --> 00:02:32,876
Let's play Bullseye.
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00:02:32,900 --> 00:02:36,356
For £50. Who was beaten
by Martina Navratilova
40
00:02:36,380 --> 00:02:38,836
in the 1987 finals?
Steffi Graf.
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00:02:38,860 --> 00:02:40,836
APPLAUSE
Welcome to Mr and Mrs.
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00:02:40,860 --> 00:02:42,836
We've got two happily married
couples back there,
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00:02:42,860 --> 00:02:44,836
ready and willing to hand over
their nuptials to me.
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00:02:44,860 --> 00:02:46,876
It's nice to see you, to see you...
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00:02:46,900 --> 00:02:48,860
AUDIENCE: Nice!
46
00:03:01,860 --> 00:03:02,837
Hi, sir.
47
00:03:02,861 --> 00:03:04,836
David Liddiment. I start today.
48
00:03:04,860 --> 00:03:05,837
What department?
49
00:03:05,861 --> 00:03:08,676
Uh... I think, uh...
50
00:03:08,700 --> 00:03:10,836
Well, I suppose all of them.
I'm the new Director of Programmes.
51
00:03:10,860 --> 00:03:14,036
Oh! Stand by your beds,
best behaviour, new boss is here.
52
00:03:14,060 --> 00:03:15,836
God, I hate changes of leader.
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00:03:15,860 --> 00:03:17,836
And them wanky new ideas.
54
00:03:17,860 --> 00:03:19,836
David! Claudia.
Head of Entertainment.
55
00:03:19,860 --> 00:03:20,837
Hi.
Claudia, hi. How are you?
56
00:03:20,861 --> 00:03:24,836
Surprise, surprise,
it's Claudia who gets to him first.
57
00:03:24,860 --> 00:03:26,836
You look...
I look... I look like hell.
58
00:03:26,860 --> 00:03:29,836
Just had baby number two,
that's my excuse, anyway, so...
59
00:03:29,860 --> 00:03:31,836
Uh... Time for a quick catch-up?
60
00:03:31,860 --> 00:03:34,860
Walk and talk?
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
61
00:03:36,860 --> 00:03:38,836
I'm interested in events.
62
00:03:38,860 --> 00:03:40,836
Event television.
63
00:03:40,860 --> 00:03:43,836
Why do the BBC always trounce us
in the big stuff?
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00:03:43,860 --> 00:03:45,196
Diana's funeral
a couple of weeks ago,
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00:03:45,220 --> 00:03:47,516
one of the most watched programmes
in TV history,
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00:03:47,540 --> 00:03:50,836
and obviously, tragic as that was,
goes without saying... Tragic.
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00:03:50,860 --> 00:03:52,196
..people still want to
gather as a nation
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00:03:52,220 --> 00:03:54,516
to experience
something big together.
69
00:03:54,540 --> 00:03:58,836
I'm just not sure the classic light
entertainment of old fits into that.
70
00:03:58,860 --> 00:03:59,837
OK.
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00:03:59,861 --> 00:04:02,836
Well, we've always gotten
our game show formats from America.
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00:04:02,860 --> 00:04:03,837
So time for something new.
73
00:04:03,861 --> 00:04:06,516
No, time to invent our own.
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00:04:06,540 --> 00:04:09,036
The classic TV game show can be
75
00:04:09,060 --> 00:04:10,876
the must-see TV thingy
that you're looking for.
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00:04:10,900 --> 00:04:13,676
I'm not just saying that
to save my department's skin.
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00:04:13,700 --> 00:04:15,876
Claudia, I've got Martin Bashir
coming in this morning to discuss...
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00:04:15,900 --> 00:04:18,836
Very important, but if you just
let me bring some people in...
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00:04:18,860 --> 00:04:20,836
I have one. I think I have one.
80
00:04:20,860 --> 00:04:22,836
It's an old one.
The last gaffer rejected it.
81
00:04:22,860 --> 00:04:24,676
Brilliant. Why is it an event?
82
00:04:24,700 --> 00:04:26,860
Because they're going to give away
£1 million.
83
00:04:32,220 --> 00:04:35,836
The idea then would be that the
higher up the mountain you climb,
84
00:04:35,860 --> 00:04:39,836
the more your time would deplete,
the way that oxygen might deplete.
85
00:04:39,860 --> 00:04:41,356
No. Stop trying to complicate it.
86
00:04:41,380 --> 00:04:43,836
It's simple. Questions and answers.
87
00:04:43,860 --> 00:04:46,836
Paul, for crying out...
This isn't 1955.
88
00:04:46,860 --> 00:04:49,836
Everyone else is making shows where
you spy on strangers in a house
89
00:04:49,860 --> 00:04:51,836
or throw them out of helicopters.
Yeah. Crap. Desperate.
90
00:04:51,860 --> 00:04:53,836
This is the show
we're going to pitch.
91
00:04:53,860 --> 00:04:54,876
Re-pitch.
92
00:04:54,900 --> 00:04:56,836
We could set it on actual mountain.
93
00:04:56,860 --> 00:04:58,836
Well, like a little one.
94
00:04:58,860 --> 00:05:00,836
Like in...
95
00:05:00,860 --> 00:05:01,837
Wales or...
96
00:05:01,861 --> 00:05:03,836
Look, right, I'm with Paul.
97
00:05:03,860 --> 00:05:05,836
It's what we did
on the radio show with Chris.
98
00:05:05,860 --> 00:05:07,836
Answer a question,
you get it right, you double it,
99
00:05:07,860 --> 00:05:10,836
so you keep doubling,
so the higher up you go,
100
00:05:10,860 --> 00:05:13,836
the more you can earn,
but the more you can lose.
101
00:05:13,860 --> 00:05:14,837
People love it.
102
00:05:14,861 --> 00:05:16,356
But the networks don't.
103
00:05:16,380 --> 00:05:18,516
That's why they all
turned it down the first time.
104
00:05:18,540 --> 00:05:19,836
Fusty old game show.
105
00:05:19,860 --> 00:05:23,676
It's not a game show, it's a quiz.
106
00:05:23,700 --> 00:05:26,516
That's the joy of it.
107
00:05:26,540 --> 00:05:29,836
People love a good pub quiz.
108
00:05:29,860 --> 00:05:33,836
A uniquely British invention
combining our two greatest loves,
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00:05:33,860 --> 00:05:36,860
drinking and being right.
110
00:05:39,380 --> 00:05:40,836
Nope. Fine.
You write it down, then.
111
00:05:40,860 --> 00:05:41,837
Ever the teacher, you do it.
112
00:05:41,861 --> 00:05:44,676
That's not how you spell that.
Question three.
113
00:05:44,700 --> 00:05:46,836
The Living Room War was the nickname
114
00:05:46,860 --> 00:05:48,836
given to which conflict
115
00:05:48,860 --> 00:05:53,196
perceived to be the first truly
televised war of the 20th century?
116
00:05:53,220 --> 00:05:54,836
Suez?
Korean?
117
00:05:54,860 --> 00:05:55,837
Maybe it is Suez.
No, it was too early,
118
00:05:55,861 --> 00:05:57,836
we didn't have a TV during Suez.
119
00:05:57,860 --> 00:05:59,836
Vietnam. It's Vietnam.
120
00:05:59,860 --> 00:06:00,837
Are you sure, Dad?
121
00:06:00,861 --> 00:06:03,836
Uh... Who here got down
to the last four on Fifteen To One,
122
00:06:03,860 --> 00:06:05,836
toughest show on television?
123
00:06:05,860 --> 00:06:06,837
Vietnam.
124
00:06:06,861 --> 00:06:08,836
Diana. Diana?
125
00:06:08,860 --> 00:06:11,036
Telephone. Diana.
126
00:06:11,060 --> 00:06:13,516
Guess who for 12 points.
127
00:06:13,540 --> 00:06:16,836
"I say, darling, is that the time?
Deary me.
128
00:06:16,860 --> 00:06:18,836
"In the army,
one must always be on time.
129
00:06:18,860 --> 00:06:19,837
"Golly."
130
00:06:19,861 --> 00:06:21,876
Oi! No phone calls. Cheating.
131
00:06:21,900 --> 00:06:24,836
I'm not cheating. We don't cheat.
132
00:06:24,860 --> 00:06:26,836
Charles, it's Tuesday,
133
00:06:26,860 --> 00:06:27,837
pub quiz night, my one night...
134
00:06:27,861 --> 00:06:30,196
No, hello, darling. No, no, no,
I'm not asking you to come home,
135
00:06:30,220 --> 00:06:32,836
it's just that Polly wants you to
hear her piano piece before bedtime.
136
00:06:32,860 --> 00:06:34,836
She's got all the way through
the first bit.
137
00:06:34,860 --> 00:06:36,900
I'll hold the phone out.
One second. One sec.
138
00:06:40,860 --> 00:06:41,837
Go. Go.
139
00:06:41,861 --> 00:06:43,860
PLAYS 'AIR ON THE G STRING'
BY BACH
140
00:06:54,860 --> 00:07:01,860
Question four, in which country was
the Rosetta Stone found in 1799?
141
00:07:06,860 --> 00:07:07,836
That's all I've got.
142
00:07:07,860 --> 00:07:08,837
That's all she's got.
143
00:07:08,861 --> 00:07:10,836
That's all she's gotten.
144
00:07:10,860 --> 00:07:11,837
That's all for now, darling.
145
00:07:11,861 --> 00:07:13,836
Oh, well, tell her well done.
I'll be home soon.
146
00:07:13,860 --> 00:07:15,860
Lots of love.
Next question...
147
00:07:21,860 --> 00:07:22,837
It's exciting!
148
00:07:22,861 --> 00:07:24,836
Brand-new school,
new children, new friends.
149
00:07:24,860 --> 00:07:26,836
It's just memorising all the names.
150
00:07:26,860 --> 00:07:28,836
They'll need a system.
151
00:07:28,860 --> 00:07:30,836
Can you call the landlord tonight
about the boiler?
152
00:07:30,860 --> 00:07:33,676
Last thing we needed
was cold showers this morning. Sure.
153
00:07:33,700 --> 00:07:36,836
You feeling all right today?
Yeah, I'm looking forward to it.
154
00:07:36,860 --> 00:07:39,836
It's a bit of a step down, isn't it,
training other officers?
155
00:07:39,860 --> 00:07:41,836
Well, it's a step around.
It's a step different.
156
00:07:41,860 --> 00:07:44,516
It's nice to be near your dad
and Adrian, isn't it?
157
00:07:44,540 --> 00:07:46,836
Yes, although you should have
seen him last night,
158
00:07:46,860 --> 00:07:48,836
so competitive, he drives me crazy.
159
00:07:48,860 --> 00:07:50,836
But you're quite competitive too
in a lovely way.
160
00:07:50,860 --> 00:07:52,836
Nothing wrong with
a bit of ambition, Charles.
161
00:07:52,860 --> 00:07:54,836
So, it's multiple choice,
162
00:07:54,860 --> 00:07:56,836
which has never been done
on telly before, ever,
163
00:07:56,860 --> 00:07:59,836
and you get to see the question
and four possible answers
164
00:07:59,860 --> 00:08:01,036
before you decide to play.
165
00:08:01,060 --> 00:08:02,836
Right, so it's easier, then?
166
00:08:02,860 --> 00:08:04,836
No, if anything,
it adds to the torment.
167
00:08:04,860 --> 00:08:07,836
And there's no clock,
they get as long as they want.
168
00:08:07,860 --> 00:08:08,837
Well, where's the tension?
169
00:08:08,861 --> 00:08:10,836
Because we're watching people
potentially
170
00:08:10,860 --> 00:08:14,516
making life-changing decisions.
171
00:08:14,540 --> 00:08:17,676
And we'll just sit there
and watch them go through it all,
172
00:08:17,700 --> 00:08:19,836
the whole gamut of emotions,
waiting.
173
00:08:19,860 --> 00:08:22,836
And then there's also the matter of
174
00:08:22,860 --> 00:08:24,836
the largest game show prize
in the history of television.
175
00:08:24,860 --> 00:08:27,836
Right, yeah,
so you're gonna bankrupt us all.
176
00:08:27,860 --> 00:08:29,676
Oh, there's nothing to worry about.
177
00:08:29,700 --> 00:08:33,836
It would take a very unique sort of
person to risk going all the way.
178
00:08:33,860 --> 00:08:34,837
That fear is built into the show.
179
00:08:34,861 --> 00:08:36,836
Well, let's try it.
Play it with you.
180
00:08:36,860 --> 00:08:38,836
Now.
181
00:08:38,860 --> 00:08:40,036
Sure, why not? Love a game.
182
00:08:40,060 --> 00:08:41,836
And we thought,
to make things more real,
183
00:08:41,860 --> 00:08:43,836
you could put your own money in.
184
00:08:43,860 --> 00:08:45,836
£250, say?
185
00:08:45,860 --> 00:08:46,837
For the psychology, you know.
186
00:08:46,861 --> 00:08:48,860
Oh, you did, did you?
187
00:08:50,220 --> 00:08:51,836
Right. Yeah.
188
00:08:51,860 --> 00:08:54,860
You think I just carry £250
around with me?
189
00:08:56,860 --> 00:08:58,836
Certainly close. 230.
190
00:08:58,860 --> 00:09:00,860
Claudia, do you have, um...
191
00:09:01,860 --> 00:09:05,836
What, you want me to put in...
20 quid, I'm putting in 230.
192
00:09:05,860 --> 00:09:07,836
Yeah. Yeah, OK.
193
00:09:07,860 --> 00:09:08,837
Let's play...
194
00:09:08,861 --> 00:09:10,836
♪ Dooo...
195
00:09:10,860 --> 00:09:12,196
What was that?
196
00:09:12,220 --> 00:09:13,836
That's the..
197
00:09:13,860 --> 00:09:14,876
the lights going down.
198
00:09:14,900 --> 00:09:16,836
Something along that.
199
00:09:16,860 --> 00:09:18,676
OK. Question one,
200
00:09:18,700 --> 00:09:20,836
what would an aborigine do
with his wurlie?
201
00:09:20,860 --> 00:09:23,836
Would he, A, eat it,
202
00:09:23,860 --> 00:09:25,356
B, hunt with it,
203
00:09:25,380 --> 00:09:26,876
C, play it,
204
00:09:26,900 --> 00:09:29,196
D, live in it?
205
00:09:29,220 --> 00:09:31,836
Now, you have three
Helping Hands or something...
206
00:09:31,860 --> 00:09:32,876
We're working on...
207
00:09:32,900 --> 00:09:36,836
You can phone a friend,
you can halve it,
208
00:09:36,860 --> 00:09:39,196
so there's a 50-50 chance,
or you can ask the audience.
209
00:09:39,220 --> 00:09:40,836
Right, the halve it option.
210
00:09:40,860 --> 00:09:41,837
C, play it,
211
00:09:41,861 --> 00:09:44,836
or D, live in it.
212
00:09:44,860 --> 00:09:45,876
Sod it, live in it.
213
00:09:45,900 --> 00:09:47,836
Is the right answer.
214
00:09:47,860 --> 00:09:49,836
Oh! Yes!
Double.
215
00:09:49,860 --> 00:09:51,036
You know, I...
216
00:09:51,060 --> 00:09:53,676
I really thought it was that one.
Yeah.
217
00:09:53,700 --> 00:09:56,836
Question three,
who was the reigning monarch
218
00:09:56,860 --> 00:09:59,836
when Britain lost the war
of independence with America?
219
00:09:59,860 --> 00:10:01,836
Was it...
George II. George III.
220
00:10:01,860 --> 00:10:03,356
No, no, George II.
221
00:10:03,380 --> 00:10:04,836
Right, do...
George III.
222
00:10:04,860 --> 00:10:05,836
Do you want the options?
223
00:10:05,860 --> 00:10:06,837
Yeah, give me the options.
224
00:10:06,861 --> 00:10:09,836
Question four. Now, this is
to double your money again,
225
00:10:09,860 --> 00:10:10,837
or you lose it all.
Mm-hm.
226
00:10:10,861 --> 00:10:13,836
In feet, what is the length
of the Titanic,
227
00:10:13,860 --> 00:10:14,836
663,
228
00:10:14,860 --> 00:10:15,837
773,
229
00:10:15,861 --> 00:10:17,836
883,
230
00:10:17,860 --> 00:10:19,836
993?
231
00:10:19,860 --> 00:10:21,836
SIGHS
232
00:10:21,860 --> 00:10:23,836
Well, I'll, um...
233
00:10:23,860 --> 00:10:25,836
I'll use my last life boat.
234
00:10:25,860 --> 00:10:28,676
Helping Hand, although,
actually, that's...
235
00:10:28,700 --> 00:10:29,876
Anyway, uh... Ask the audience.
236
00:10:29,900 --> 00:10:31,836
They'd each be given
a keypad to vote.
237
00:10:31,860 --> 00:10:33,836
Why don't you just ask them
out there, if you like,
238
00:10:33,860 --> 00:10:35,860
as a sort of audience?
OK.
239
00:10:38,860 --> 00:10:40,836
Oi! Listen, everyone, a sec.
240
00:10:40,860 --> 00:10:42,036
Uh...
241
00:10:42,060 --> 00:10:44,836
How long is the Titanic in feet?
242
00:10:44,860 --> 00:10:46,836
Is it, uh...
What were the bloody options again?
243
00:10:46,860 --> 00:10:47,837
663.
663.
244
00:10:47,861 --> 00:10:49,836
773.
773.
245
00:10:49,860 --> 00:10:51,036
883.
Yeah, I've got it now, thanks.
246
00:10:51,060 --> 00:10:52,860
883 or 993.
247
00:10:53,860 --> 00:10:56,836
Well, come on, the great
and the good, have a guess.
248
00:10:56,860 --> 00:10:58,860
Right, well, you're all fired.
249
00:11:00,860 --> 00:11:03,196
Bloody useless.
250
00:11:03,220 --> 00:11:05,380
I'll stick.
251
00:11:06,860 --> 00:11:07,860
Keep my money.
252
00:11:09,860 --> 00:11:11,836
Yeah.
253
00:11:11,860 --> 00:11:13,836
Yeah, there is something in it,
254
00:11:13,860 --> 00:11:15,836
but...
255
00:11:15,860 --> 00:11:19,836
if people do win more than
we get from the phone lines,
256
00:11:19,860 --> 00:11:20,860
we're screwed.
257
00:11:24,900 --> 00:11:27,836
I'll go halves on the risk with you.
258
00:11:27,860 --> 00:11:28,837
With ITV.
259
00:11:28,861 --> 00:11:32,860
I'll absorb 50%
of the liability myself.
260
00:11:35,860 --> 00:11:37,836
I want a pilot
261
00:11:37,860 --> 00:11:40,860
and we'll see.
262
00:11:43,540 --> 00:11:45,836
Don't worry, in for a penny,
in for a...
263
00:11:45,860 --> 00:11:47,836
million pounds.
264
00:11:47,860 --> 00:11:49,836
I, uh...
265
00:11:49,860 --> 00:11:52,836
need to go and have a very awkward
conversation with my wife.
266
00:11:52,860 --> 00:11:54,676
It'll be fine.
267
00:11:54,700 --> 00:11:55,836
Fine.
268
00:11:55,860 --> 00:11:58,836
Let's just hope the first people
to phone in for the show are...
269
00:11:58,860 --> 00:12:00,860
well, idiots.
270
00:12:01,860 --> 00:12:03,860
CLASSICAL MUSIC
271
00:12:14,700 --> 00:12:16,860
HUMS ALONG
272
00:12:18,860 --> 00:12:21,876
I hope you're finding it
peaceful here, Major Ingram.
273
00:12:21,900 --> 00:12:24,836
Beautiful part of the world
of course, Wiltshire.
274
00:12:24,860 --> 00:12:27,836
Lovely walks.
Absolutely. Yes.
275
00:12:27,860 --> 00:12:28,837
Plenty of space for the kids
to, um...
276
00:12:28,861 --> 00:12:31,516
And we have a cat now. Uh...
277
00:12:31,540 --> 00:12:32,836
for the family to...
278
00:12:32,860 --> 00:12:34,836
Well, yeah, so...
And you were in Bosnia?
279
00:12:34,860 --> 00:12:35,837
Yes, sir.
280
00:12:35,861 --> 00:12:37,836
Please.
Oh, thank you.
281
00:12:37,860 --> 00:12:39,836
Bit of a gear shift, though,
desk work.
282
00:12:39,860 --> 00:12:43,836
Well, I wanted a bit more normality,
I suppose, for my family,
283
00:12:43,860 --> 00:12:44,837
and I'd, um...
284
00:12:44,861 --> 00:12:47,836
I'd seen it with my own,
you know.
285
00:12:47,860 --> 00:12:50,836
When I was growing up,
my father in the air force
286
00:12:50,860 --> 00:12:52,836
and my brother in the navy,
and, uh...
287
00:12:52,860 --> 00:12:55,836
Although... Well, my mother does
something altogether different,
288
00:12:55,860 --> 00:12:58,836
she designs sets for plays.
289
00:12:58,860 --> 00:13:00,836
Ah, the theatre. My, my.
290
00:13:00,860 --> 00:13:03,196
And you were never tempted
to tread the boards yourself?
291
00:13:03,220 --> 00:13:06,836
No, no, God, no.
Military life's a much better fit.
292
00:13:06,860 --> 00:13:07,837
It's, uh...
293
00:13:07,861 --> 00:13:11,836
Yeah, well, it's wholly away
from the limelight, isn't it?
294
00:13:11,860 --> 00:13:14,036
A uniform anonymises you
295
00:13:14,060 --> 00:13:17,860
and puts you in the service for
something else, something greater.
296
00:13:18,860 --> 00:13:20,836
Still, doesn't mean one can't enjoy
297
00:13:20,860 --> 00:13:23,836
a bit of the old
theatrical razzmatazz, eh?
298
00:13:23,860 --> 00:13:25,836
♪ I am the very model
Of a modern Major General...
299
00:13:25,860 --> 00:13:26,837
Gilbert and Sullivan.
300
00:13:26,861 --> 00:13:29,356
My other used to play it for us
on the piano.
301
00:13:29,380 --> 00:13:32,516
♪ I know the kings of England and
I quote the fights historical...
302
00:13:32,540 --> 00:13:35,836
BOTH: ♪ From Marathon to Waterloo
In order categorical
303
00:13:35,860 --> 00:13:36,837
Yeah.
304
00:13:36,861 --> 00:13:40,836
♪ I'm very well acquainted too
With matters mathematical
305
00:13:40,860 --> 00:13:44,836
♪ I understand equations
Both the simple and quadratical
306
00:13:44,860 --> 00:13:48,876
♪ About binomial theorem
I am teaming with a lot o' news
307
00:13:48,900 --> 00:13:53,836
♪ With many cheerful facts
About the square of the hypotenuse
308
00:13:53,860 --> 00:13:57,676
♪ I'm very good at integral...
♪ I know our mythic history...
309
00:13:57,700 --> 00:13:58,836
♪ I answer hard acrostics...
310
00:13:58,860 --> 00:14:00,676
Oh, dear, no.
311
00:14:00,700 --> 00:14:02,516
What's gone wrong?
We're on different verses.
312
00:14:02,540 --> 00:14:04,676
I think you jumped
to the King Arthur bit.
313
00:14:04,700 --> 00:14:06,836
Well, that is the next bit,
isn't it? I don't think it...
314
00:14:06,860 --> 00:14:09,836
But it doesn't matter,
we can go from your verse if...
315
00:14:09,860 --> 00:14:11,860
No, no, the moment's gone now.
316
00:14:22,860 --> 00:14:24,836
CHUCKLES
Blimey.
317
00:14:24,860 --> 00:14:26,356
Maybe I should be paying
for lunch, then.
318
00:14:26,380 --> 00:14:27,836
Oh, Chris, don't be silly.
319
00:14:27,860 --> 00:14:31,836
My treat. You've put
your own house on the line, Paul.
320
00:14:31,860 --> 00:14:34,356
Is this a game show
or a Mafia racket?
321
00:14:34,380 --> 00:14:35,836
It's fine.
322
00:14:35,860 --> 00:14:37,836
As long as we get the revenue,
which we will,
323
00:14:37,860 --> 00:14:39,836
from people phoning in,
which they will.
324
00:14:39,860 --> 00:14:43,836
Otherwise YOU, Paul Smith,
have to put your own money...
325
00:14:43,860 --> 00:14:45,036
I mean, if someone...
326
00:14:45,060 --> 00:14:47,836
A million quid, my God.
327
00:14:47,860 --> 00:14:50,836
Not if you, Chris Tarrant,
agree to present the show.
328
00:14:50,860 --> 00:14:54,036
A guaranteed hit.
329
00:14:54,060 --> 00:14:55,836
People will love it.
330
00:14:55,860 --> 00:14:58,836
You can sign them a cheque yourself.
Your name.
331
00:14:58,860 --> 00:14:59,837
Oh, me?
332
00:14:59,861 --> 00:15:01,196
So I'm liable now too?
333
00:15:01,220 --> 00:15:02,836
As a gesture, that's all.
334
00:15:02,860 --> 00:15:04,836
Look, we'll film a pilot,
test the idea.
335
00:15:04,860 --> 00:15:06,380
At least do that.
336
00:15:07,860 --> 00:15:09,836
Come on, how can you not want
to be a part of this?
337
00:15:09,860 --> 00:15:11,836
It'll be...
338
00:15:11,860 --> 00:15:13,836
fun.
339
00:15:13,860 --> 00:15:18,836
♪ You take me over the rainbow
And up to Cloud Nine
340
00:15:18,860 --> 00:15:23,036
♪ I'm flying high
Like a bird in the sky... ♪
341
00:15:23,060 --> 00:15:26,836
APPLAUSE
Welcome back to Cash Mountain.
342
00:15:26,860 --> 00:15:28,836
OK, contestants...
343
00:15:28,860 --> 00:15:31,836
Go tighter.
Stand by...
344
00:15:31,860 --> 00:15:32,837
'You will hear three beeps.
345
00:15:32,861 --> 00:15:35,836
'After the third beep,
four possible answers will appear.
346
00:15:35,860 --> 00:15:38,836
'The fastest
to select the right answer
347
00:15:38,860 --> 00:15:41,836
'will be next in our hot seat
to play for £1 million.'
348
00:15:41,860 --> 00:15:44,836
OK, here we go.
Tighter, OK.
349
00:15:44,860 --> 00:15:49,836
Which of these countries
has a Union Jack on its flag?
350
00:15:49,860 --> 00:15:51,540
'Four possible answers.'
351
00:15:55,860 --> 00:15:57,356
Look, before you say anything,
I know.
352
00:15:57,380 --> 00:15:58,836
I'm holding my hands up.
353
00:15:58,860 --> 00:15:59,837
The pilot looks a mess.
354
00:15:59,861 --> 00:16:03,836
The design is all wrong.
Mess is a bit harsh, but it's too...
355
00:16:03,860 --> 00:16:04,837
Happy clappy.
356
00:16:04,861 --> 00:16:07,036
It's too Saturday night,
jazz hands, it's all tits and teeth.
357
00:16:07,060 --> 00:16:08,836
Can we still say tits and teeth?
358
00:16:08,860 --> 00:16:10,836
But we'll find it, David, trust us.
359
00:16:10,860 --> 00:16:13,836
Please. Something harder, darker.
For the drama.
360
00:16:13,860 --> 00:16:14,837
We want the audience to be...
361
00:16:14,861 --> 00:16:16,836
All right, listen. Listen.
362
00:16:16,860 --> 00:16:18,860
This is Jeff, our scheduler.
363
00:16:20,700 --> 00:16:22,036
Schedule. You...
364
00:16:22,060 --> 00:16:24,676
What do you mean?
Do you mean that we're on?
365
00:16:24,700 --> 00:16:26,836
We're gonna try and strip it.
366
00:16:26,860 --> 00:16:28,836
Lift seven days
out of our autumn schedule
367
00:16:28,860 --> 00:16:32,676
and run it every night for a week
at peak times.
368
00:16:32,700 --> 00:16:33,876
Event television.
369
00:16:33,900 --> 00:16:35,836
Strip a game show?
370
00:16:35,860 --> 00:16:37,836
Peak times, same time
every night of the week?
371
00:16:37,860 --> 00:16:39,836
There's something in it.
372
00:16:39,860 --> 00:16:41,036
In the DNA of the game.
373
00:16:41,060 --> 00:16:42,836
Watching it.
374
00:16:42,860 --> 00:16:44,836
It's really exciting.
375
00:16:44,860 --> 00:16:47,836
But yes, it looks shit right now,
so fix that,
376
00:16:47,860 --> 00:16:50,836
and fast. Oh, and the title's crap.
377
00:16:50,860 --> 00:16:52,700
It needs a new name.
378
00:16:55,860 --> 00:16:58,836
THEY LAUGH
379
00:16:58,860 --> 00:17:00,836
Oh, my God! Oh, my... Oh, my...
380
00:17:00,860 --> 00:17:01,837
Oh, my God.
381
00:17:01,861 --> 00:17:03,516
Ha-ha-ha!
382
00:17:03,540 --> 00:17:04,860
Whoo! Ah!
383
00:17:05,860 --> 00:17:06,837
Drama.
384
00:17:06,861 --> 00:17:08,836
Tension.
385
00:17:08,860 --> 00:17:11,676
Drama in-built into everything.
386
00:17:11,700 --> 00:17:13,836
Including the chair.
387
00:17:13,860 --> 00:17:15,196
Remember, um...
388
00:17:15,220 --> 00:17:16,836
Mastermind?
389
00:17:16,860 --> 00:17:18,196
That set was designed
by a chap
390
00:17:18,220 --> 00:17:20,540
who had been interrogated
by the Gestapo.
391
00:17:23,220 --> 00:17:26,836
I want audio speakers
inside the seat,
392
00:17:26,860 --> 00:17:28,836
vibrating with heavy sound,
393
00:17:28,860 --> 00:17:31,836
pulsating up through the contestant.
394
00:17:31,860 --> 00:17:34,836
Gah-gung, gah-gung, OK?
395
00:17:34,860 --> 00:17:36,836
Next, the lights.
396
00:17:36,860 --> 00:17:38,836
Darker.
397
00:17:38,860 --> 00:17:41,860
WHISTLING
'WHO WANTS TO BE A MILLIONAIRE'
398
00:17:47,860 --> 00:17:50,836
♪ Who wants to be a millionaire?
399
00:17:50,860 --> 00:17:52,836
I do.
400
00:17:52,860 --> 00:17:54,860
APPLAUSE
401
00:17:57,540 --> 00:17:59,836
Hello and welcome
to tonight's edition
402
00:17:59,860 --> 00:18:01,836
of Who Wants To Be A Millionaire.
403
00:18:01,860 --> 00:18:04,836
All you have to do
is call this number.
404
00:18:04,860 --> 00:18:08,836
Who Wants To Be A Millionaire,
Thursday at eight, ITV.
405
00:18:08,860 --> 00:18:10,860
CAR PULLS UP
406
00:18:20,900 --> 00:18:23,196
Come on, it's about to start!
What's about to start?
407
00:18:23,220 --> 00:18:26,196
That new quiz show that's been
plastered everywhere. Adrian's here.
408
00:18:26,220 --> 00:18:28,516
Adrian, your brother?
I thought it was our night in.
409
00:18:28,540 --> 00:18:31,836
Oh, sorry, it's just a thing
that we do together, that's all.
410
00:18:31,860 --> 00:18:34,836
Come on, it's fun.
411
00:18:34,860 --> 00:18:35,837
Hello.
412
00:18:35,861 --> 00:18:37,836
Adrian?
413
00:18:37,860 --> 00:18:39,836
Um... I brought pizza.
We already have pizza.
414
00:18:39,860 --> 00:18:42,836
Your message said, "No pizza."
Yes, "No pizza."
415
00:18:42,860 --> 00:18:45,836
Yes, as in, "We don't have any
pizza, no pizza, so bring pizza."
416
00:18:45,860 --> 00:18:49,836
No, no. "Pizza, we already have lots
of pizza, don't bring pizza."
417
00:18:49,860 --> 00:18:51,036
Stop saying pizza!
418
00:18:51,060 --> 00:18:53,836
We're about to make
television history.
419
00:18:53,860 --> 00:18:59,836
For the first time on UK TV, we have
a top prize available of £1 million.
420
00:18:59,860 --> 00:19:03,196
'And it could be won here tonight.
421
00:19:03,220 --> 00:19:05,836
'No tricks, no traps.
422
00:19:05,860 --> 00:19:09,860
Contestants can leave here tonight
with big cash prizes.
423
00:19:12,860 --> 00:19:15,036
Two, tight in.
424
00:19:15,060 --> 00:19:17,860
Four, pull back.
425
00:19:23,860 --> 00:19:25,676
I'm gonna take the money, Chris.
426
00:19:25,700 --> 00:19:26,836
Just there.
427
00:19:26,860 --> 00:19:29,036
God. SO dull.
428
00:19:29,060 --> 00:19:31,836
APPLAUSE
429
00:19:31,860 --> 00:19:34,836
It gives me SO much pleasure
430
00:19:34,860 --> 00:19:38,836
to give you a cheque for £64,000!
431
00:19:38,860 --> 00:19:41,836
Come on.
Why isn't it taking off yet?
432
00:19:41,860 --> 00:19:42,837
Where's the bloody tension?
433
00:19:42,861 --> 00:19:46,516
It's fine. It's fine, Paul,
it just needs bedding in.
434
00:19:46,540 --> 00:19:47,836
Be patient.
435
00:19:47,860 --> 00:19:50,876
As Graham leaves
with 64,000 smackeroonies.
436
00:19:50,900 --> 00:19:53,836
Good heavens. £64,000.
437
00:19:53,860 --> 00:19:55,836
That's ridiculous.
438
00:19:55,860 --> 00:19:57,836
Shh, yes, we know.
439
00:19:57,860 --> 00:19:59,836
Come on.
440
00:19:59,860 --> 00:20:00,837
I'm not sure yet, you know.
441
00:20:00,861 --> 00:20:02,860
This all seems a bit dramatic.
442
00:20:04,540 --> 00:20:05,836
Let's see who got there quickest.
443
00:20:05,860 --> 00:20:09,036
The next fastest finger
is Rachel Da Costa!
444
00:20:09,060 --> 00:20:10,356
Come on, come on.
445
00:20:10,380 --> 00:20:12,836
'So, Rachel, what would you do
if you won £1 million?'
446
00:20:12,860 --> 00:20:17,836
I would clear all mine
and my fiance's debts,
447
00:20:17,860 --> 00:20:21,196
sort out our business,
buy a house and get married.
448
00:20:21,220 --> 00:20:22,836
'You could get married
tomorrow morning.'
449
00:20:22,860 --> 00:20:25,836
The business isn't in a situation
where we could do it at the moment.
450
00:20:25,860 --> 00:20:26,837
God, bless her.
451
00:20:26,861 --> 00:20:31,836
Well, you are only 15 questions
away from winning £1 million,
452
00:20:31,860 --> 00:20:34,836
'so let's play...'
Just insane.
453
00:20:34,860 --> 00:20:35,837
For £100...
454
00:20:35,861 --> 00:20:37,836
For £1,000...
455
00:20:37,860 --> 00:20:38,837
For £8,000...
456
00:20:38,861 --> 00:20:42,356
Oh, uh... Humphrey Bogart's
cafe owner in Casablanca is...
457
00:20:42,380 --> 00:20:43,836
Sam, isn't it? "Play it again, Sam."
458
00:20:43,860 --> 00:20:45,836
No. Common misconception.
459
00:20:45,860 --> 00:20:47,356
It's Rick.
460
00:20:47,380 --> 00:20:48,836
Definitely, the cafe owner.
461
00:20:48,860 --> 00:20:49,837
Rick.
When did you last see it?
462
00:20:49,861 --> 00:20:51,836
I've never seen it, but, you know,
463
00:20:51,860 --> 00:20:53,836
you learn things,
encyclopaedias, books.
464
00:20:53,860 --> 00:20:55,836
Might be nice to actually watch
the films now and again.
465
00:20:55,860 --> 00:20:58,836
Don't have the time.
Yeah, yeah, tricky.
466
00:20:58,860 --> 00:21:01,836
'I'll go for Rick.
'Is the correct answer!
467
00:21:01,860 --> 00:21:03,836
'You've just won £8,000!'
468
00:21:03,860 --> 00:21:06,836
For £16,000,
469
00:21:06,860 --> 00:21:11,836
which English county
has a border with only one other?
470
00:21:11,860 --> 00:21:12,836
Devon,
471
00:21:12,860 --> 00:21:13,836
Norfolk,
472
00:21:13,860 --> 00:21:14,837
Cornwall,
473
00:21:14,861 --> 00:21:15,876
Kent?
474
00:21:15,900 --> 00:21:17,836
God, look, she's shaking.
475
00:21:17,860 --> 00:21:19,876
Why?
Cos she wants to get married.
476
00:21:19,900 --> 00:21:21,836
Phone my dad.
Your dad?
477
00:21:21,860 --> 00:21:23,196
LAUGHTER
478
00:21:23,220 --> 00:21:24,836
PHONE DIALLING TONE
479
00:21:24,860 --> 00:21:26,196
'Hello?'
480
00:21:26,220 --> 00:21:27,836
Jack, uh... it's Chris Tarrant here.
481
00:21:27,860 --> 00:21:29,836
'Hello.'
Hello, Jack.
482
00:21:29,860 --> 00:21:31,676
We've got your daughter
live on the show.
483
00:21:31,700 --> 00:21:33,516
She has £8,000.
484
00:21:33,540 --> 00:21:35,676
That wedding's getting
a little bit closer,
485
00:21:35,700 --> 00:21:37,836
but she's not quite there yet...
486
00:21:37,860 --> 00:21:39,196
Move in closer.
487
00:21:39,220 --> 00:21:40,356
Closer.
488
00:21:40,380 --> 00:21:42,356
..so no pressure.
'I understand.'
489
00:21:42,380 --> 00:21:45,836
The next voice you hear
will be Rachel's.
490
00:21:45,860 --> 00:21:47,836
Rachel, talk to your dad.
491
00:21:47,860 --> 00:21:50,836
Which English county
has a border with only one other?
492
00:21:50,860 --> 00:21:52,876
Devon, Norfolk, Cornwall, or Kent?
493
00:21:52,900 --> 00:21:54,836
I have no idea.
494
00:21:54,860 --> 00:21:56,516
GROANING
495
00:21:56,540 --> 00:21:57,836
Oh, my God.
496
00:21:57,860 --> 00:22:00,036
'I'm sorry, Rachel,
I can't help you on geography.
497
00:22:00,060 --> 00:22:01,836
'Um... Give me again.'
498
00:22:01,860 --> 00:22:04,836
Devon, Norfolk, Cornwall or Kent.
499
00:22:04,860 --> 00:22:06,836
'Devon, Norfolk...'
500
00:22:06,860 --> 00:22:09,836
Dad, help me.
501
00:22:09,860 --> 00:22:12,836
'Take the eight grand, Rachel.'
502
00:22:12,860 --> 00:22:15,836
I'll take the money.
503
00:22:15,860 --> 00:22:17,836
Oh. Let's give her a big hand,
ladies and gentlemen.
504
00:22:17,860 --> 00:22:19,836
£8,000!
505
00:22:19,860 --> 00:22:20,837
APPLAUSE
506
00:22:20,861 --> 00:22:23,196
I mean, £8,000
is a very large amount of money.
507
00:22:23,220 --> 00:22:24,836
That wedding just got
a little bit closer.
508
00:22:24,860 --> 00:22:27,836
Oh, Dad!
509
00:22:27,860 --> 00:22:29,836
Uh...
510
00:22:29,860 --> 00:22:31,836
Just before you go,
511
00:22:31,860 --> 00:22:35,836
uh... suppose you had answered,
512
00:22:35,860 --> 00:22:37,836
what would your answer have been?
513
00:22:37,860 --> 00:22:39,356
Cornwall.
514
00:22:39,380 --> 00:22:41,836
GROANING
515
00:22:41,860 --> 00:22:43,196
Pfft!
HE LAUGHS
516
00:22:43,220 --> 00:22:44,836
Oh, Rachel.
It's not funny.
517
00:22:44,860 --> 00:22:46,836
I'm sorry.
You would have won £16,000.
518
00:22:46,860 --> 00:22:48,836
I'm sorry, but look,
what am I saying?
519
00:22:48,860 --> 00:22:50,036
Oh, my goodness.
520
00:22:50,060 --> 00:22:51,836
It works.
521
00:22:51,860 --> 00:22:53,836
Oh, grow a pair, would you?
522
00:22:53,860 --> 00:22:55,036
We've got a hit on our hands.
523
00:22:55,060 --> 00:22:56,836
Ha-ha!
524
00:22:56,860 --> 00:22:58,836
Well, if you want to be
in with a chance to play,
525
00:22:58,860 --> 00:23:00,860
all you have to do
is call this number.
526
00:23:04,860 --> 00:23:06,860
PHONES RING
527
00:23:11,860 --> 00:23:13,860
PHONE RINGS
528
00:23:16,860 --> 00:23:18,836
All right, Claudia. Hit me.
529
00:23:18,860 --> 00:23:21,836
Hit you?
Kiss you, marry you, more like.
530
00:23:21,860 --> 00:23:23,836
We got 9 million.
531
00:23:23,860 --> 00:23:26,220
9 million viewers!
532
00:23:29,380 --> 00:23:30,860
PHONES RING
533
00:23:35,700 --> 00:23:37,860
Nothing to say
you can't try more than once.
534
00:23:40,860 --> 00:23:42,836
'Hello.'
Hello.
535
00:23:42,860 --> 00:23:45,836
'Hello and welcome to Celador
and the Who Wants To Be...'
536
00:23:45,860 --> 00:23:48,540
Hello and welcome
to tonight's edition of...
537
00:23:50,860 --> 00:23:52,900
Paul Smith.
16 million.
538
00:23:56,700 --> 00:23:59,836
Walking away with a cheque for
£8,000!
539
00:23:59,860 --> 00:24:01,836
£64,000!
540
00:24:01,860 --> 00:24:06,836
£125,000.
Oh, my God.
541
00:24:06,860 --> 00:24:09,836
I'm going on!
I'm going on the show!
542
00:24:09,860 --> 00:24:11,836
Oh, my gosh!
Bravo!
543
00:24:11,860 --> 00:24:13,516
How many times did you have to call?
544
00:24:13,540 --> 00:24:14,836
I don't know.
545
00:24:14,860 --> 00:24:17,836
50, maybe? Anyway, and you can talk.
546
00:24:17,860 --> 00:24:18,837
Anyway,
547
00:24:18,861 --> 00:24:20,860
do you wanna be my guest?
548
00:24:22,860 --> 00:24:24,060
HE LAUGHS
549
00:24:28,860 --> 00:24:31,836
194 calls I made to get here.
550
00:24:31,860 --> 00:24:33,036
Arm and a leg it's costing me.
551
00:24:33,060 --> 00:24:35,836
Well, that's nothing.
I did over 300.
552
00:24:35,860 --> 00:24:37,836
You just need a system, that's all.
553
00:24:37,860 --> 00:24:38,837
Not willy-nilly.
554
00:24:38,861 --> 00:24:40,836
Did you know that they publish
the call volumes
555
00:24:40,860 --> 00:24:41,837
on the website?
Website.
556
00:24:41,861 --> 00:24:43,836
Yes. You know, a few of us fans
557
00:24:43,860 --> 00:24:46,836
are starting to share
a little bit of intel.
558
00:24:46,860 --> 00:24:49,676
You know, information
here and there.
559
00:24:49,700 --> 00:24:52,676
If you're serious about this,
and you have to be serious.
560
00:24:52,700 --> 00:24:54,836
I'm serious. Uh...
561
00:24:54,860 --> 00:24:57,836
We're serious.
562
00:24:57,860 --> 00:24:58,837
What?
563
00:24:58,861 --> 00:25:00,836
I could give you the number
of someone who...
564
00:25:00,860 --> 00:25:02,876
sort of...
565
00:25:02,900 --> 00:25:06,700
helps quiz fans onto the show.
566
00:25:11,860 --> 00:25:14,860
CHRIS TARRANT: 'Put these days of
the week into alphabetical order.'
567
00:25:15,860 --> 00:25:19,860
Sunday, Wednesday, Monday, Thursday.
568
00:25:21,860 --> 00:25:24,516
And the person who was fastest was
569
00:25:24,540 --> 00:25:26,836
Maggie Pierce in four seconds!
570
00:25:26,860 --> 00:25:28,836
Well done, my darling. Come on up!
571
00:25:28,860 --> 00:25:30,836
APPLAUSE
572
00:25:30,860 --> 00:25:32,836
And the winner is...
573
00:25:32,860 --> 00:25:33,837
Who Wants To Be A Millionaire!
574
00:25:33,861 --> 00:25:35,836
Who Wants To Be A Millionaire!
575
00:25:35,860 --> 00:25:37,196
Who Wants To Be A Millionaire!
576
00:25:37,220 --> 00:25:39,836
Who Wants To Be A Millionaire.
Who Wants To Be A Millionaire.
577
00:25:39,860 --> 00:25:40,876
Who Wants To Be A Millionaire!
578
00:25:40,900 --> 00:25:42,836
Who Wants To Be A Millionaire.
579
00:25:42,860 --> 00:25:44,836
CHEERING
580
00:25:44,860 --> 00:25:46,836
19 million.
581
00:25:46,860 --> 00:25:48,036
19 million!
582
00:25:48,060 --> 00:25:50,836
'That's one third
of the population, Paul.'
583
00:25:50,860 --> 00:25:52,196
Thank you, Claudia.
584
00:25:52,220 --> 00:25:53,676
Paul!
585
00:25:53,700 --> 00:25:55,836
Reception just said
the Americans are here.
586
00:25:55,860 --> 00:25:57,876
Jesus Christ, it's ABC,
587
00:25:57,900 --> 00:25:59,836
which is Disney.
588
00:25:59,860 --> 00:26:01,836
It's owned by Disney.
589
00:26:01,860 --> 00:26:03,836
Basically, Mickey Mouse
is coming up the stairs.
590
00:26:03,860 --> 00:26:04,837
Could you just...
591
00:26:04,861 --> 00:26:05,900
a little cool.
592
00:26:12,860 --> 00:26:15,540
Mr Smith.
593
00:26:20,860 --> 00:26:21,837
No, he didn't. He actually knelt?
594
00:26:21,861 --> 00:26:24,876
No, he did. He knelt on the floor.
595
00:26:24,900 --> 00:26:27,836
We've just sold entertainment
to the Americans.
596
00:26:27,860 --> 00:26:29,836
That is entertainment
to the Americans.
597
00:26:29,860 --> 00:26:31,836
The Americans!
598
00:26:31,860 --> 00:26:32,860
Hey-hey!
599
00:26:35,860 --> 00:26:37,836
'The game show
Who Wants To Be A Millionaire
600
00:26:37,860 --> 00:26:40,836
'has now been sold to multiple
territories in the US.
601
00:26:40,860 --> 00:26:41,837
'CEO Michael Eisner said,
602
00:26:41,861 --> 00:26:43,836
' "Who knew that the fate of ABC
603
00:26:43,860 --> 00:26:46,356
' "would be saved by
a little British game show?"
604
00:26:46,380 --> 00:26:47,836
'It's helped the ABC network
605
00:26:47,860 --> 00:26:51,356
'leap from fourth in the ratings war
in the United States to first.
606
00:26:51,380 --> 00:26:52,836
'The millionaire show,
607
00:26:52,860 --> 00:26:55,836
'which has attracted audiences
of 19 million in the UK,
608
00:26:55,860 --> 00:26:58,860
'where it's presented
by Chris Tarrant...'
609
00:27:11,860 --> 00:27:13,836
'Hello.'
610
00:27:13,860 --> 00:27:15,676
Hello. Paddy Spooner?
611
00:27:15,700 --> 00:27:17,860
Mr Spooner.
612
00:27:39,860 --> 00:27:42,516
You weren't followed?
You came alone?
613
00:27:42,540 --> 00:27:45,836
Alone? No, you didn't say to come
alone, I've brought my kids.
614
00:27:45,860 --> 00:27:47,516
You what?
615
00:27:47,540 --> 00:27:48,860
I've got my kids outside.
616
00:27:49,900 --> 00:27:52,060
You've brought your bloody kids.
617
00:27:53,860 --> 00:27:54,860
Do you know who I am?
618
00:27:56,860 --> 00:27:59,676
You're Paddy Spooner.
619
00:27:59,700 --> 00:28:00,836
You got in the chair three times,
620
00:28:00,860 --> 00:28:03,836
even though the rules say you can
only sit in the hot seat once.
621
00:28:03,860 --> 00:28:05,836
No, three different versions.
622
00:28:05,860 --> 00:28:06,837
Three countries.
623
00:28:06,861 --> 00:28:09,836
Australia, Ireland, UK.
624
00:28:09,860 --> 00:28:11,836
They don't check.
625
00:28:11,860 --> 00:28:13,860
There's a lot they don't check.
626
00:28:15,700 --> 00:28:17,860
I've been working with some people.
627
00:28:19,860 --> 00:28:24,836
An underground, sort of, community
has sprung up.
628
00:28:24,860 --> 00:28:29,836
Fans of the show that have grown
into an unlikely resistance
629
00:28:29,860 --> 00:28:31,836
in the quiet little villages
of England.
630
00:28:31,860 --> 00:28:33,836
The perfect place
to plan our attack.
631
00:28:33,860 --> 00:28:35,836
Um... Attack what?
632
00:28:35,860 --> 00:28:37,836
The show, of course.
633
00:28:37,860 --> 00:28:40,196
Breaking into the show.
634
00:28:40,220 --> 00:28:41,836
In the world of quizzing,
635
00:28:41,860 --> 00:28:44,836
the man who has the questions
may be king,
636
00:28:44,860 --> 00:28:46,836
but the man who has all the answers
637
00:28:46,860 --> 00:28:47,837
is God.
638
00:28:47,861 --> 00:28:51,196
To the nearest metre,
how long is the Humber Bridge?
639
00:28:51,220 --> 00:28:53,836
..is the Mississippi River?
..the Titanic?
640
00:28:53,860 --> 00:28:55,836
Of the thousands of people
that call the hotline,
641
00:28:55,860 --> 00:28:58,836
the show selects
a random 100 numbers
642
00:28:58,860 --> 00:29:00,836
to call back with a question
643
00:29:00,860 --> 00:29:04,516
that's all but impossible
to get exactly right.
644
00:29:04,540 --> 00:29:07,836
How many months in total
did Queen Victoria reign for?
645
00:29:07,860 --> 00:29:08,837
Months?
646
00:29:08,861 --> 00:29:10,036
Oh, heck.
647
00:29:10,060 --> 00:29:11,836
What the makers hadn't predicted was
648
00:29:11,860 --> 00:29:15,036
that people would do
what they tend to do.
649
00:29:15,060 --> 00:29:17,836
Hello, Paddy? It's Maggie.
'Talk to each other.'
650
00:29:17,860 --> 00:29:19,356
The "closest to" question is...
651
00:29:19,380 --> 00:29:23,836
The damn fools are using
the same "closest to" questions
652
00:29:23,860 --> 00:29:26,836
in rotation time and again.
653
00:29:26,860 --> 00:29:29,516
All you need is a network.
654
00:29:29,540 --> 00:29:30,836
Or...
655
00:29:30,860 --> 00:29:32,836
as we call ourselves,
656
00:29:32,860 --> 00:29:34,860
The Syndicate.
657
00:29:37,860 --> 00:29:40,676
So, first trick is,
when you get the call back,
658
00:29:40,700 --> 00:29:42,836
pretend you're not who you are.
659
00:29:42,860 --> 00:29:43,837
Pretend you're not in.
660
00:29:43,861 --> 00:29:45,836
This gives us time to prepare.
661
00:29:45,860 --> 00:29:48,836
PUTS ON DIFFERENT VOICE:
Hi. I'm afraid Adrian Pollock
662
00:29:48,860 --> 00:29:50,836
won't be in until later tonight.
663
00:29:50,860 --> 00:29:52,876
Could you call back then?
664
00:29:52,900 --> 00:29:54,836
They always say yes,
665
00:29:54,860 --> 00:29:56,836
then you call me.
Hello, Paddy?
666
00:29:56,860 --> 00:29:58,836
And I...
667
00:29:58,860 --> 00:30:00,836
mobilise.
668
00:30:00,860 --> 00:30:03,836
And if you know
of any other potential clients
669
00:30:03,860 --> 00:30:06,836
that live too far away for me,
670
00:30:06,860 --> 00:30:09,836
I can always dispatch
a separate Syndicate member
671
00:30:09,860 --> 00:30:11,836
from one of my regional hubs.
672
00:30:11,860 --> 00:30:16,836
How many months in total
did Queen Victoria reign for?
673
00:30:16,860 --> 00:30:19,876
I'm going to say 780.
674
00:30:19,900 --> 00:30:21,836
Once you're in the chair,
675
00:30:21,860 --> 00:30:25,836
there's a final
highly bespoke service
676
00:30:25,860 --> 00:30:26,837
that we offer
677
00:30:26,861 --> 00:30:28,860
on your Phone A Friend.
678
00:30:30,860 --> 00:30:32,836
There's a room..
679
00:30:32,860 --> 00:30:36,836
KNOCK AT DOOR
..in London where we gather.
680
00:30:36,860 --> 00:30:39,836
The finest pub quizzers in the land
681
00:30:39,860 --> 00:30:43,860
secretly, silently, in solidarity.
682
00:30:44,860 --> 00:30:46,836
Now, you give the producers
683
00:30:46,860 --> 00:30:50,516
one of a dozen special numbers
we have around the country,
684
00:30:50,540 --> 00:30:53,836
all diverted here,
685
00:30:53,860 --> 00:30:56,836
to this one phone.
686
00:30:56,860 --> 00:30:58,836
I want to phone a friend.
687
00:30:58,860 --> 00:31:01,836
All right. Uh... Who you gonna call?
688
00:31:01,860 --> 00:31:03,836
My cousin Geoffrey.
689
00:31:03,860 --> 00:31:06,836
'Geoffrey? It's Chris Tarrant here
from Who Wants To Be A Millionaire.'
690
00:31:06,860 --> 00:31:08,836
Yes?
'I've got your cousin Maggie here.
691
00:31:08,860 --> 00:31:10,836
'I hope you're sat quiet and alone.
692
00:31:10,860 --> 00:31:13,836
'The next voice you hear
will be Maggie's.
693
00:31:13,860 --> 00:31:16,836
'Geoffrey, which chemical element
is named...'
694
00:31:16,860 --> 00:31:21,356
All we ask is a modest 25%.
695
00:31:21,380 --> 00:31:22,876
Ah.
696
00:31:22,900 --> 00:31:24,836
Well, I...
697
00:31:24,860 --> 00:31:27,836
I'm grateful for all the hints
and tips and things,
698
00:31:27,860 --> 00:31:30,836
but I'm not sure whether
I would need such...
699
00:31:30,860 --> 00:31:31,876
Well, your services.
700
00:31:31,900 --> 00:31:35,196
I'm sure that when the time comes,
701
00:31:35,220 --> 00:31:37,860
you will make the right call.
702
00:31:43,860 --> 00:31:49,516
And the person who was fastest
was Owen Masters in 4.2 seconds.
703
00:31:49,540 --> 00:31:51,700
THUNDER RUMBLES
704
00:32:02,860 --> 00:32:06,836
'Put these vegetables in order of
size from smallest to biggest.
705
00:32:06,860 --> 00:32:09,540
'Onion, Brussels sprout,
cabbage, pea.'
706
00:32:12,860 --> 00:32:15,836
OK, let's see who got it right
in the fastest time.
707
00:32:15,860 --> 00:32:18,860
It's Shelley Price in 3.1...
708
00:32:20,860 --> 00:32:23,836
5.6. Not good enough.
709
00:32:23,860 --> 00:32:24,860
Again.
710
00:32:27,860 --> 00:32:31,836
'And the person who was fastest
was Gus Colley in 4.5 seconds.'
711
00:32:31,860 --> 00:32:33,860
APPLAUSE
712
00:32:39,860 --> 00:32:41,676
Yes!
713
00:32:41,700 --> 00:32:43,860
APPLAUSE
714
00:32:44,860 --> 00:32:45,837
Camera one.
715
00:32:45,861 --> 00:32:48,836
Right. This is Adrian Pollock.
We've seen him before.
716
00:32:48,860 --> 00:32:50,836
It's his fourth time
in the Fastest Finger seat.
717
00:32:50,860 --> 00:32:53,836
Fourth? How? Wait, what?
718
00:32:53,860 --> 00:32:56,516
Yeah, I know, something's up.
I thought everyone is chosen random.
719
00:32:56,540 --> 00:32:57,860
And yet, there he is.
720
00:32:58,860 --> 00:33:01,836
Well, a coincidence, then,
let's hope.
721
00:33:01,860 --> 00:33:05,836
Yeah, but is it me, or have they
all started to look a bit...
722
00:33:05,860 --> 00:33:06,837
the same?
723
00:33:06,861 --> 00:33:09,836
All a bit white and well-to-do,
724
00:33:09,860 --> 00:33:12,836
middle classy and Southerny and...
725
00:33:12,860 --> 00:33:14,836
'Adrian Pollock from Wiltshire.'
726
00:33:14,860 --> 00:33:17,036
..white.
727
00:33:17,060 --> 00:33:20,196
We'll have to tell Chris, cos it'll
be weird if he doesn't mention it.
728
00:33:20,220 --> 00:33:22,836
It's four times.
729
00:33:22,860 --> 00:33:24,676
He won't be happy.
730
00:33:24,700 --> 00:33:26,380
Yeah, well, that makes two of us.
731
00:33:27,860 --> 00:33:31,860
'Half of ten, third of nine,
quarter of eight, fifth of five.'
732
00:33:33,540 --> 00:33:37,836
Who's the fastest?
Adrian Pollock in 4.3 seconds.
733
00:33:37,860 --> 00:33:41,836
Well, at least he can only
play the actual game once,
734
00:33:41,860 --> 00:33:43,860
so we'll never have to
see him again.
735
00:33:46,860 --> 00:33:47,837
You ready to play for £1 million?
736
00:33:47,861 --> 00:33:50,836
Yeah.
Come on, then.
737
00:33:50,860 --> 00:33:52,836
So, um... you won't believe this,
738
00:33:52,860 --> 00:33:55,836
but this is actually Adrian's
fourth time in the studio,
739
00:33:55,860 --> 00:33:57,836
but his first time in the chair.
740
00:33:57,860 --> 00:33:59,036
You've been here more than I have.
741
00:33:59,060 --> 00:34:00,836
LAUGHTER
Well, you know,
742
00:34:00,860 --> 00:34:02,876
some people wanna jump out of planes
and I just...
743
00:34:02,900 --> 00:34:04,836
This is what I want to do.
744
00:34:04,860 --> 00:34:06,836
You're a strange, sad, little man.
745
00:34:06,860 --> 00:34:07,876
LAUGHTER
746
00:34:07,900 --> 00:34:11,356
For 64,000, in the US and Canada,
747
00:34:11,380 --> 00:34:14,836
Labor Day is celebrated
in which month?
748
00:34:14,860 --> 00:34:19,860
You've used your 50-50, you've
just got left May or September.
749
00:34:22,860 --> 00:34:24,836
I will use my Phone A Friend.
750
00:34:24,860 --> 00:34:26,540
All right. Who you gonna call?
751
00:34:28,860 --> 00:34:29,860
Actually, um...
752
00:34:31,860 --> 00:34:33,836
Actually, uh...
753
00:34:33,860 --> 00:34:35,836
I was going to, um...
754
00:34:35,860 --> 00:34:38,036
I'd quite like to call my dad.
755
00:34:38,060 --> 00:34:39,700
Arthur.
756
00:34:41,220 --> 00:34:44,220
We, uh... Well, quizzes are
a family thing, you know.
757
00:34:45,860 --> 00:34:46,837
PHONE RINGS
758
00:34:46,861 --> 00:34:49,036
I bet it's him.
Oh, my God.
759
00:34:49,060 --> 00:34:51,036
Must be in the chair. Oh, my God.
760
00:34:51,060 --> 00:34:53,836
You ready?
761
00:34:53,860 --> 00:34:56,516
Is Uncle Adrian
going to be a millionaire?
762
00:34:56,540 --> 00:34:58,516
'Hello.'
763
00:34:58,540 --> 00:35:01,876
Well, you have to be really clever
for that, so we'll see.
764
00:35:01,900 --> 00:35:04,356
The most extraordinary thing
has happened.
765
00:35:04,380 --> 00:35:05,836
You remember your son, Adrian?
766
00:35:05,860 --> 00:35:08,836
Well, he's finally made it into the
chair, but he does need your help.
767
00:35:08,860 --> 00:35:11,196
Now, the next voice you hear
will be Adrian's.
768
00:35:11,220 --> 00:35:13,836
Adrian, you've got 30 seconds.
769
00:35:13,860 --> 00:35:14,837
Go.
770
00:35:14,861 --> 00:35:16,836
Hi, Dad. In the USA and Canada,
771
00:35:16,860 --> 00:35:19,836
Labor Day is celebrated
in which month?
772
00:35:19,860 --> 00:35:21,836
Is it May or September?
773
00:35:21,860 --> 00:35:23,836
Um...
774
00:35:23,860 --> 00:35:25,836
I think...
775
00:35:25,860 --> 00:35:26,836
May.
776
00:35:26,860 --> 00:35:27,837
'If I had to guess.'
777
00:35:27,861 --> 00:35:29,036
How sure are you?
778
00:35:29,060 --> 00:35:30,836
Ooh...
779
00:35:30,860 --> 00:35:31,876
50%.
780
00:35:31,900 --> 00:35:33,836
LAUGHTER
781
00:35:33,860 --> 00:35:34,860
Thanks, Dad.
782
00:35:36,380 --> 00:35:38,196
When's Labor Day in America?
783
00:35:38,220 --> 00:35:39,836
September, Dad.
784
00:35:39,860 --> 00:35:40,860
Oh.
785
00:35:42,860 --> 00:35:43,860
Oh, no.
786
00:35:45,220 --> 00:35:47,516
Oh, dear.
787
00:35:47,540 --> 00:35:48,860
What a shame.
788
00:35:50,060 --> 00:35:53,036
It's 32 grand, it's great.
789
00:35:53,060 --> 00:35:54,836
Thing is...
790
00:35:54,860 --> 00:35:56,836
The thing is...
791
00:35:56,860 --> 00:35:59,836
it doesn't quite cover the, uh...
792
00:35:59,860 --> 00:36:04,036
debts that the business is running
at the moment and I, uh...
793
00:36:04,060 --> 00:36:06,356
Debts? You...
794
00:36:06,380 --> 00:36:08,836
You don't normally have debts,
why didn't you say?
795
00:36:08,860 --> 00:36:13,540
Yeah, it's just this
dot-com bubble nonsense and...
796
00:36:14,700 --> 00:36:17,836
I really thought I had a chance
in that chair, you know.
797
00:36:17,860 --> 00:36:19,860
I mean, I invested a lot!
798
00:36:21,860 --> 00:36:23,860
What are you talking about?
799
00:36:37,860 --> 00:36:40,700
Holy mother of God.
800
00:36:41,860 --> 00:36:43,860
Adrian, what the...
801
00:36:45,060 --> 00:36:47,060
What is this?
802
00:36:53,860 --> 00:36:55,836
Behold,
803
00:36:55,860 --> 00:36:57,860
the game changer.
804
00:37:00,860 --> 00:37:03,196
I made it. Fastest Finger First.
805
00:37:03,220 --> 00:37:04,356
To practice on.
806
00:37:04,380 --> 00:37:06,836
I don't know what to say.
807
00:37:06,860 --> 00:37:08,676
Is this cheating?
808
00:37:08,700 --> 00:37:11,836
Certainly feels like cheating.
No, it's giving an advantage.
809
00:37:11,860 --> 00:37:13,060
To myself.
810
00:37:14,060 --> 00:37:16,836
And now to you, Diana.
811
00:37:16,860 --> 00:37:18,516
To carry on where I left off.
812
00:37:18,540 --> 00:37:20,860
But why would she want
anything to do with it? Thank you.
813
00:37:31,860 --> 00:37:34,380
Mr Pollock!
814
00:37:35,860 --> 00:37:37,860
Adrian Pollock?
815
00:37:40,060 --> 00:37:41,836
Yes?
816
00:37:41,860 --> 00:37:44,700
When I saw you'd been on
four times, I thought, no.
817
00:37:45,860 --> 00:37:47,836
That's not luck,
that's something else.
818
00:37:47,860 --> 00:37:49,836
Yeah, but how did you find me?
819
00:37:49,860 --> 00:37:51,036
Electoral register, simple enough.
820
00:37:51,060 --> 00:37:53,836
Yeah, see, that...
that's a bit creepy.
821
00:37:53,860 --> 00:37:55,836
Yeah. I have to get on.
822
00:37:55,860 --> 00:37:58,836
I don't know how,
I don't know why, this...
823
00:37:58,860 --> 00:37:59,837
COUGHS
824
00:37:59,861 --> 00:38:02,836
..this impulse took over me,
but it's just in me.
825
00:38:02,860 --> 00:38:04,836
I have to.
826
00:38:04,860 --> 00:38:06,836
Please, please help me.
827
00:38:06,860 --> 00:38:08,836
I heard tell amongst the...
828
00:38:08,860 --> 00:38:10,836
the community
that you built a machine.
829
00:38:10,860 --> 00:38:13,876
Yes. Well, my sister's got it,
she's going on the show too.
830
00:38:13,900 --> 00:38:15,836
Your sister's going?
Yeah.
831
00:38:15,860 --> 00:38:17,836
OK. Well...
832
00:38:17,860 --> 00:38:19,836
Could you make another one?
I'd pay you.
833
00:38:19,860 --> 00:38:21,860
People will pay you.
834
00:38:24,860 --> 00:38:26,836
Let me have your number.
835
00:38:26,860 --> 00:38:31,196
So, in the hot seat,
we have Diana Ingram here with...
836
00:38:31,220 --> 00:38:35,836
I do believe I recognise
your guest here tonight,
837
00:38:35,860 --> 00:38:36,837
it's your brother Adrian Pollock.
838
00:38:36,861 --> 00:38:38,516
I thought we got rid of you.
839
00:38:38,540 --> 00:38:39,836
But here you are.
840
00:38:39,860 --> 00:38:43,836
Again. Back in the studio
for a fifth time.
841
00:38:43,860 --> 00:38:47,196
Still think it's a coincidence?
842
00:38:47,220 --> 00:38:48,836
Call the network.
843
00:38:48,860 --> 00:38:49,837
Now.
844
00:38:49,861 --> 00:38:53,036
Husband Charles, Major Charles,
couldn't be here.
845
00:38:53,060 --> 00:38:54,836
He's at work.
846
00:38:54,860 --> 00:38:56,836
Charles and Diana, eh?
Why does that sound familiar?
847
00:38:56,860 --> 00:38:57,837
LAUGHTER
848
00:38:57,861 --> 00:39:00,516
Like a fairy tale. Well, started as
a fairy tale, didn't end as one.
849
00:39:00,540 --> 00:39:01,836
LAUGHTER
850
00:39:01,860 --> 00:39:04,196
Yeah, if you could
fit us in tomorrow.
851
00:39:04,220 --> 00:39:06,036
We just...
852
00:39:06,060 --> 00:39:08,860
We do really think
we may have a problem now.
853
00:39:11,860 --> 00:39:15,356
For £64,000...
854
00:39:15,380 --> 00:39:20,836
Who wrote the nonsense poem
The Hunting Of The Snark?
855
00:39:20,860 --> 00:39:22,836
GK Chesterton,
856
00:39:22,860 --> 00:39:23,837
Hilaire Belloc,
857
00:39:23,861 --> 00:39:25,836
Edward Lear,
858
00:39:25,860 --> 00:39:28,836
Lewis Carroll?
859
00:39:28,860 --> 00:39:32,036
Remember, you don't have to play,
you've got £32,000 and that's safe,
860
00:39:32,060 --> 00:39:34,860
whatever, and you do have a 50-50.
861
00:39:38,860 --> 00:39:40,836
Yeah, I'm going to play.
Edward Lear, final answer.
862
00:39:40,860 --> 00:39:43,836
Final answer?
Yes.
863
00:39:43,860 --> 00:39:45,836
You had £32,000,
864
00:39:45,860 --> 00:39:47,836
you kept back one lifeline.
865
00:39:47,860 --> 00:39:50,860
Desperately wanted
to beat your brother.
866
00:39:52,860 --> 00:39:54,836
You've stayed at exactly
the same place.
867
00:39:54,860 --> 00:39:55,837
GROANING
868
00:39:55,861 --> 00:39:58,196
Oh, it was Lewis Carroll. I'm sorry.
869
00:39:58,220 --> 00:40:03,836
But you do go away
with a cheque for £32,000.
870
00:40:03,860 --> 00:40:06,356
Not a bad day's work.
APPLAUSE
871
00:40:06,380 --> 00:40:08,836
A lot of money. That's £32,000.
872
00:40:08,860 --> 00:40:11,836
I mean, that's gonna be SO useful.
873
00:40:11,860 --> 00:40:13,836
I mean, we could...
Gosh, we could...
874
00:40:13,860 --> 00:40:16,836
I'm going to give Adrian some of it,
875
00:40:16,860 --> 00:40:18,836
just to help with the business,
you know.
876
00:40:18,860 --> 00:40:20,836
Quite a bit of it.
877
00:40:20,860 --> 00:40:22,836
14 grand of it, actually.
Right.
878
00:40:22,860 --> 00:40:24,860
Sorry.
Are you asking me or telling me?
879
00:40:26,860 --> 00:40:28,836
Right.
880
00:40:28,860 --> 00:40:29,837
Right. All right, yeah. Sure.
881
00:40:29,861 --> 00:40:31,836
Yeah, give him 14 grand.
882
00:40:31,860 --> 00:40:34,676
Hell, give him all of it. Why don't
you give him one of the children?
883
00:40:34,700 --> 00:40:35,836
Give him one of the girls.
What's going on?
884
00:40:35,860 --> 00:40:38,836
Congratulations, darling.
We're giving you to Uncle Adrian.
885
00:40:38,860 --> 00:40:40,900
Go and pack your bags.
OK.
886
00:40:42,860 --> 00:40:45,516
What was the line? "There's always
three of us in this marriage."
887
00:40:45,540 --> 00:40:47,836
That's not fair. He's my brother,
what else am I meant to do?
888
00:40:47,860 --> 00:40:48,837
Pff...
889
00:40:48,861 --> 00:40:50,836
I suppose I should tell you
890
00:40:50,860 --> 00:40:53,836
we're thinking of writing a book
about the show.
891
00:40:53,860 --> 00:40:54,837
Just a little simple how-to
892
00:40:54,861 --> 00:40:56,836
with all the hints and tips
and things we've learned,
893
00:40:56,860 --> 00:40:58,876
so we can pass them on
to new contestants.
894
00:40:58,900 --> 00:41:02,836
Just all that cheating stuff?
It isn't cheating.
895
00:41:02,860 --> 00:41:03,837
Yes, but is it cheating?
896
00:41:03,861 --> 00:41:08,836
I've asked Ruth Settle to join us,
she's our head of PR at Celador.
897
00:41:08,860 --> 00:41:12,836
This is Nicola Howson, who's our
head of press, to do likewise,
898
00:41:12,860 --> 00:41:15,836
because we can all agree that this
is a flipping nightmare. I'll say.
899
00:41:15,860 --> 00:41:18,836
I saw it for the first time
in a while last night.
900
00:41:18,860 --> 00:41:21,036
No offence. And OK, I'll say it.
901
00:41:21,060 --> 00:41:22,836
It was effing boring.
902
00:41:22,860 --> 00:41:24,196
No offence.
903
00:41:24,220 --> 00:41:26,516
The contestants are all...
904
00:41:26,540 --> 00:41:27,836
They all look and sound...
905
00:41:27,860 --> 00:41:29,836
Yeah, well, they all talk
to one another as well.
906
00:41:29,860 --> 00:41:33,836
It's like they know each other
and they're somehow...
907
00:41:33,860 --> 00:41:35,836
helping each other.
Is that against the rules?
908
00:41:35,860 --> 00:41:37,836
It's against
the spirit of the rules.
909
00:41:37,860 --> 00:41:39,836
They're getting on
and they're getting bolder.
910
00:41:39,860 --> 00:41:43,860
Now, we think it almost feels
like something's coming.
911
00:41:44,860 --> 00:41:46,356
We could start to cast it.
912
00:41:46,380 --> 00:41:48,836
Most shows cast the contestants
based on interviews and...
913
00:41:48,860 --> 00:41:52,836
No, we swore that we'd never do
that, we'd keep it democratic...
914
00:41:52,860 --> 00:41:54,676
You're saying
it's already been hacked,
915
00:41:54,700 --> 00:41:56,836
that the network's most important
asset is under attack.
916
00:41:56,860 --> 00:41:58,676
Well, this stops now.
917
00:41:58,700 --> 00:42:00,836
Find out who's doing it,
how they're doing it,
918
00:42:00,860 --> 00:42:03,836
and please,
stop them bloody doing it!
919
00:42:03,860 --> 00:42:05,836
I have to go.
920
00:42:05,860 --> 00:42:07,836
Disappear. Run away for a bit.
Well...
921
00:42:07,860 --> 00:42:10,836
a while. I'm sorry.
922
00:42:10,860 --> 00:42:12,836
Oh, my God, no. Adrian, don't...
923
00:42:12,860 --> 00:42:14,836
I just need to come up
with a way to...
924
00:42:14,860 --> 00:42:16,036
to pay everyone back.
925
00:42:16,060 --> 00:42:17,860
Well, what about my 14 grand?
926
00:42:19,860 --> 00:42:21,836
I don't bloody believe it.
927
00:42:21,860 --> 00:42:24,836
OK. OK. Now, apart from us,
who do you owe money to?
928
00:42:24,860 --> 00:42:25,837
Uh...
929
00:42:25,861 --> 00:42:28,836
It's people like Jill and Michael
from the Rotary Club.
930
00:42:28,860 --> 00:42:30,836
There's John.
John?! The butcher?
931
00:42:30,860 --> 00:42:33,836
Oh, for heaven's sake, I thought
you meant gangsters, Adrian,
932
00:42:33,860 --> 00:42:35,836
people who'd break your thumbs,
933
00:42:35,860 --> 00:42:37,836
not the butcher, the baker
and the candlestick...
934
00:42:37,860 --> 00:42:39,036
Just send them a text!
935
00:42:39,060 --> 00:42:40,836
Well, it's not your reputation,
is it?!
936
00:42:40,860 --> 00:42:43,836
What about your responsibilities?
Your family?
937
00:42:43,860 --> 00:42:46,836
They'll understand,
I'll call them from...
938
00:42:46,860 --> 00:42:49,836
wherever I am. I'll explain.
939
00:42:49,860 --> 00:42:51,676
Come on, Adrian,
it's really bad form.
940
00:42:51,700 --> 00:42:54,836
Here's some of the people from
the community I've been talking to.
941
00:42:54,860 --> 00:42:55,836
They're yours now.
942
00:42:55,860 --> 00:42:56,836
Oh, God.
943
00:42:56,860 --> 00:42:57,837
I can't...
944
00:42:57,861 --> 00:42:59,836
What about our book?
945
00:42:59,860 --> 00:43:02,836
Well, then, you finish it, Diana!
You don't need me, you never have.
946
00:43:02,860 --> 00:43:04,900
You've always been the strongest.
947
00:43:06,860 --> 00:43:08,380
I'm sorry.
948
00:43:11,860 --> 00:43:12,860
DOOR SLAMS
949
00:43:15,860 --> 00:43:17,836
It'll be OK.
950
00:43:17,860 --> 00:43:19,860
He'll be OK.
951
00:43:23,860 --> 00:43:25,836
You must go on.
952
00:43:25,860 --> 00:43:27,836
Onto the show.
953
00:43:27,860 --> 00:43:30,836
I've been on, Adrian has, it's...
954
00:43:30,860 --> 00:43:31,860
it's your turn.
955
00:43:34,860 --> 00:43:36,836
It's my turn, is it?
956
00:43:36,860 --> 00:43:38,516
To join the family business.
957
00:43:38,540 --> 00:43:40,836
I'd warned you, I...
958
00:43:40,860 --> 00:43:42,836
These mad schemes!
959
00:43:42,860 --> 00:43:44,836
I don't even like quizzes.
960
00:43:44,860 --> 00:43:47,836
The way you've been moping about,
weeks after your turn came and went,
961
00:43:47,860 --> 00:43:49,836
d'you know how dispiriting
that is, Diana,
962
00:43:49,860 --> 00:43:52,836
to know that the only happiness
you get is from a bloody game show?
963
00:43:52,860 --> 00:43:55,196
That isn't fair, that is...
It just isn't true.
964
00:43:55,220 --> 00:43:56,836
It couldn't be further...
965
00:43:56,860 --> 00:43:59,516
And everyone has hobbies, Charles.
Pfft!
966
00:43:59,540 --> 00:44:01,516
PHONE RINGS
And I didn't want to bring this up,
967
00:44:01,540 --> 00:44:02,836
but...
968
00:44:02,860 --> 00:44:04,516
Let the machine get it.
Well, we have,
969
00:44:04,540 --> 00:44:06,836
as a family, rather...
970
00:44:06,860 --> 00:44:09,196
followed you around
wherever you went.
971
00:44:09,220 --> 00:44:10,876
Happily, I might add, willingly.
972
00:44:10,900 --> 00:44:14,676
But now we, now I need you.
973
00:44:14,700 --> 00:44:17,836
'..Charles Ingram. I'm calling you
from Who Wants To Be A Millionaire.
974
00:44:17,860 --> 00:44:19,036
'We're delighted to let you know
975
00:44:19,060 --> 00:44:20,876
'that you've been selected
by our computer
976
00:44:20,900 --> 00:44:24,836
'to take part in our qualifying
round of "closest to" questions.
977
00:44:24,860 --> 00:44:29,860
'Give us a call back
on 0909 8790 555.'
978
00:44:32,860 --> 00:44:36,540
I may have already started calling
and leaving your name.
979
00:44:44,540 --> 00:44:47,836
What happens next is easy to dismiss
as simply exciting television.
980
00:44:47,860 --> 00:44:48,837
High drama.
981
00:44:48,861 --> 00:44:51,700
A bit of harmless fun
that got out of hand.
982
00:44:52,700 --> 00:44:54,836
But ignore the lights,
ignore the sound.
983
00:44:54,860 --> 00:44:55,837
COUGHING
984
00:44:55,861 --> 00:44:58,836
Unbelievable!
985
00:44:58,860 --> 00:45:00,836
This is theft.
986
00:45:00,860 --> 00:45:02,196
Plain and simple.
987
00:45:02,220 --> 00:45:06,836
An attempt to steal £1 million.
988
00:45:06,860 --> 00:45:09,836
We have all the evidence
and all of the testimonies.
989
00:45:09,860 --> 00:45:12,036
But as we go through
quite how they did it,
990
00:45:12,060 --> 00:45:14,356
beat by impossible beat,
991
00:45:14,380 --> 00:45:16,036
oh, you'll be shocked, yes,
992
00:45:16,060 --> 00:45:18,860
perhaps even impressed a little...
993
00:45:19,860 --> 00:45:21,836
..but you will be left in no doubt
994
00:45:21,860 --> 00:45:23,836
that they are guilty of a crime.
995
00:45:23,860 --> 00:45:27,836
A crime that carries with it
996
00:45:27,860 --> 00:45:30,356
time in prison.
997
00:45:30,380 --> 00:45:32,540
APPLAUSE
All right?
998
00:45:33,860 --> 00:45:35,860
All right?
999
00:45:39,860 --> 00:45:40,900
COUGHS
1000
00:45:43,860 --> 00:45:46,836
Right, Major Charles Ingram,
1001
00:45:46,860 --> 00:45:48,196
are you ready to play...
1002
00:45:48,220 --> 00:45:51,860
DRAMATIC THEME
72173
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