Original subtitles

[theme music playing]

[thumping footsteps approaching]

Let's ball!

[all gasp] Dunk Ellington!

[whimpering]

[whimpering]

[grunts] Dunk!

-[vocalizing] -[blade shearing]

Hey, what's this?

All right, who's the wise guy

throwing his orange ball in my rabbit hole?

If I ever catch the lousy, good-for-nothing clown that destroyed my--

[gulps]

[nervously] Well, hello there, big fella.

It appears your ball somehow accidentally

bounced into my bathroom.

That's no way to treat an adorable, cute, little rabbit like me.

Well, you leave me no choice

but to retaliate in brutal fashion

and leave you begging for mercy.

And I will, too.

Say, nice pair of kicks you got there, Doc.

Are those those new, limited-edition streetball specials?

[whistles]

[coughs]

You must've paid a pretty penny for those bad boys.

Basketball, you and me, one on one, now!

You want to play a game of basketball with little old me?

That's right. First one to... [mumbles incoherently]

21 wins.

Well, gee whiz, Doc, I really don't know how to play basketball.

Let's see now, uh, is this how you do it?

[scoffs, laughs mockingly]

I think I'm getting it.

Hey, this is kind of fun. Whoops!

Whoa!

[snarls]

Well, what do you know?

I just scored a three pointer.

[whispering] Don't look now, Doc,

but, uh, confidentially, [shouts] I'm winning!

And with very little effort, too.

[growls]

[ball bouncing]

[explosion]

Now, uh, let's see, Mac, so far, I've scored five points

and you have a big, fat zero.

Gimme that! Let me show you how it's done.

-[grunting] -[honking]

-Huh? -Well, don't just stand there,

ya maroon, shoot it! Shoot it! Shoot the ball!

You're wide open!

[grunts]

Wha...

Well, looks like that's another easy three points for me, Doc.

Ooh, he's so salty!

[grunts]

All right, let's see you get past this. Whaddya got? Whaddya got?

Gasp!

-[whistle blows] -[Bugs] Well, hiya, folks!

it's a beautiful day here at the basketball court,

and so far, Bugs Bunny is in the lead.

But we'll see if Dunk can make a comeback to even out the score.

I must say, Dunk Ellington is looking in top form!

Mmm-hmm. Mmm!

Looks like Dunk is showing off

his exceptional ball-handling skills.

What's this?

He's turning around and heading in the other direction.

Now, he's stopping, sitting down

and dragging his butt on the ground like a dog with worms.

Now he's dribbling the ball with his face.

Dribbling his face with the ball!

Dribbling like a dope on the ball!

He's hot tonight, folks. He's on fire.

-[exclaims] -Dunk is on fire.

He's taking out his wallet and flushing all his money down the toilet!

His entire life savings down the toilet!

He's pulling down his shorts...

Oh, my gosh! He's wearing diapers, folks. Diapers!

Extra-large, baby boy diapers!

Diapers! Oh, the humanity!

-Oh, the humiliation! -[whimpers]

-But wait! -[gasps]

Even this embarrassing display

doesn't stop him from scoring points for Bugs Bunny?

10... 12... 15... 18...

Twenty. Twenty points for Bugs Bunny!

What will make him snap out of this insanity, folks? Maybe this?

[growls]

Get a load of this guy. [mock growls, laughs]

Two, four, six, eight, ten, twelve, fourteen, sixteen, eighteen, twenty...

-Where'd the ball go? -[Bugs whistles]

Yoo-hoo! Dunk!

Dunky baby. Only one more point and I win.

[screams]

Not in my house.

[screams]

Exciting game, isn't it, folks?

No more Mr. Nice Dunk.

[grunts]

[huffing rapidly]

[growls]

[reading]

Ain't I a stinker?

Uh-oh.

[Dunk screaming]

[grunts, groans]

-Hurray for Bugs Bunny! -[audience cheering]

Three cheers for the winner, Bugs Bunny,

basketball champion of the world!

Good game, rabbit.

How about a handshake?

Well, I never took him for a good sportsman,

but I guess people really can change.

Put 'er there, Doc. Good game.

[grunts, laughs menacingly]

Say, Doc, what are you doing?

So unsportsmanlike, I can't breathe!

This shows an enormous lack of character.

[gasps, gags]

[exclaims, whimpers]

[exclaims] Bugs?

Get 'em off me, get 'em off me!

[screams]

Well, they don't call me "Bugs" for nothing.

[theme music playing]

Oh, boy, I can't wait to show you ice skating, Cicero.

It's gonna be fu-f-f-, it's, it's gonna f-fu... it's gonna be a good time.

[groans] Ice skating sounds boring.

B-b-boring? [laughs] Now, now, Cicero, ice skating is as f-f-fun as you make it.

Why, b-b-back in my day, when I was knee-high to a g-ggrasshop, g-g-grasshop,

a dung beetle...

-[chainsaw buzzing] -...I skated so well, I got a gold trophy.

-[buzzing] -Practice makes perfect, and all that.

After that ch-ch-championship,

we all went home and r-r-roasted m-mmarshmallows,

and G-Grand Pappy drank too much eggnog

and fell asl-l- fell asl-l-l... he conked out.

[sighs]

Good times.

Oh well, b-better get my sk-skates on

and get b-b-b... Huh?

C-C-Cicero!

W-w-what are you up to?

T-take these off b-b-before someone g-g-gets hurt!

Sorry, Uncle Porky. Let me untie those for you.

-Thank you. -[buzzing]

C-C-Cicero!

Have fun, Uncle Porky!

[screaming]

Whaddya know... It is as fun as you make it!

[Porky] L-l-look out!!

[all] Yay!

Whoa!

[rock music playing]

[wolf whistle]

[screams, laughs nervously]

[screams]

[screams]

[screams]

[exclaims, grunts]

[sighs] F-f-finally f-f-free.

Now, w-where is that n-n-no good nephew of mine

so I can g-g-give him a stern t-t-t--

[screams]

[chainsaws sputtering]

[sighs] Oh, good.

[breathes in deeply, blows]

Actually, it is a p-p-pretty lovely view from up heeeeeeeeere!

[screams]

[grunts]

Whoa! Now that was skating, Uncle Porky!

[screams exasperatedly] Cicero!

D-d-do you have any idea wh-what you could've--

[dog] There he is!

It's the pig who jumped Homicide Hill!

That was the most amazing thing I've seen in my entire life.

Oh, well... [laughs sheepishly]

It was n-n-nothing really.

So, what are you gonna do with your million-dollar prize check?

M-m-m-million dollar prize check?

Wow! B-boy...I'll p-probably spend a w-weekend in the b-Bahamas...

G-go on a date with a S-Swedish supermodel...

And once I'm bored with that, I'll...

[screams]

Wow! I've never actually seen anyone cut a cheque before.

That's my Uncle Porky for you.

Always causing trouble.

[Porky screaming]

[shatters]

[theme music playing]