Original subtitles

Oh, how do you do?

Today I am searching for the perfect spot

to bury my perfect bone, to keep it perfectly safe.

Now, let us see what is available.

Mmm, that spot is too high.

Ew, that spot stinks.

[whimpers] Let lie there.

[grunts]

It looks like I'll never find the right...

Oh!

Now, this is the perfect spot.

Until next time, dear friend, you're off to a safer...

[crying]

place!

Huh?

Eh, pardon me, mac, but do you know who this belongs to?

Of course, little gray rabbit.

That is none other than my bone.

[gulps]

What are you doing with my bone in my hole?

-Your hole? -Yes, my hole! Out! Out!

Out!

[panting]

Of course you realize this means...

[retching]

Squirrel.

[laughing] Whee!

Gee, I sure am having fun with this brand-new bone!

Oh, good.

Even the rabbit should partake in the joys of a bone.

Rabbit?

[breathing heavily]

What are you doing with my bone?

You want the bone, boy? Huh? Huh? Huh?

You want the bone?

Bow-wow. Woof-woof.

-Yes, I do. -Then fetch!

Fear not, bone, you are safe and sound now.

Oh, bone, you make me feel lighter than air.

[screams, grunts]

[panting]

Out of breath already.

It's like there's no air up here...

[gasping]

[coughing]

-Well, that takes care of that. -[loud thud]

[groaning]

My bone, it's okay.

[gasps]

You!

Now what?

I have a bone to pick with you.

It's your fault that my bone is space dust.

I demand you get me a new bone, and it better be a good one.

Or else I'll... [snarls]

[shushing]

Looking for a bone, mac?

Yes.

I know a place that sells bone.

Good stuff.

Hey, dog.

You're looking for bone?

I have all kind of bone.

-We have funny bone... -[squeaking]

Ooh.

we have wish bone...

[exclaims excitedly]

we even have bare bone.

[groans]

Ah, I see you're dog of quality.

For you, my friend,

may I suggest the Magnum bone?

[panting]

-Eh, she's perfect fit, huh? -[whimpers]

[gasping] Thank you, kind sir. How much do I owe you?

Mmm.

What is this?

Oh.

That oughta teach that mutt not to mess with Bugs Bunny.

[laughing]

[huffing]

[growling]

You know something?

I don't just want any bone.

I want...

[grunts]

one of your bones.

[growling]

[tooting]

How do you do? How do you do? How do you do?

[shushes]

Look, bonehead! Look!

Here's a brand-new bone just for you.

Wow! Thanks a lot, mister. Thanks a lot.

Hurry! You better bury it before that nasty old rabbit gets back.

Bone voyage, bonehead!

This shouldn't even happen to a dog.

[laughing]

Hyah! Hyah!

Cicero!

Hyah!

How many times do I have to tell you

me... My machete is not a toy!

Now, go get your truck.

And sit down.

[sighs] Okay, Uncle Porky.

[stuttering] Boy.

That kid... [stuttering] That really stresses me out.

[sighs] I got to calm my nerves.

Luckily, I can always turn to my Guided Relaxation podcast.

Cicero.

I'm going to close my eyes for two minutes.

You better be sitting right there when I open them back up. Understood?

Yes, Uncle Porky.

[woman over headphones] You're listening to Guided Relaxation.

Close your eyes and get ready to relax.

[exhales]

Sit comfortably and relax your shoulders.

For the next two minutes, the world is at peace.

Feel your surroundings.

A gentle breeze tickles your being.

Beautiful colors ripple across the sky.

As you breathe in and out, be reminded that while you're in this state,

you are in a safe place where nothing can harm you.

Reset your mind.

Imagine the world as your own personal canvas.

While you're in this state, relaxation is the only currency that matters.

Breathe in and out.

[breathes deeply]

Imagine a life free of material possessions.

Free yourself from the stranglehold of consumerism.

Breathe in and out.

[exhales]

Smell the golden fields of Tuscany.

Picture a peaceful babbling brook

or a sparkling, cascading waterfall, perhaps.

[growling]

Remember that sea monsters aren't real...

and aren't in your living room right now.

Just relax.

Imagine all of your problems washing away.

[sea monster burbling]

Washing away.

Open the window to your soul.

Reconnect with your inner child.

Feel a positive charge of rejuvenation.

Remember that relaxation is a firewall keeping stress and anxiety out of your life.

Count to three and open your eyes.

Observe your surroundings.

You have achieved total relaxation.

[screaming]

[panting wheezily]

I'm gonna need a few more minutes.

[woman over headphones] You're listening to Guided Relaxation.