Original subtitles

♪ Kick, Kick, Kick, Kick, Kick

♪ Kick Buttowski, Buttowski

♪ Kick

♪ Kick

♪ Kick Buttowski

♪ Kick, Kick, Kick

♪ Kick Buttowski

♪ Kick, Kick, Kick, Kick

♪ Kick

♪ Kick

♪ Kick Buttowski

♪ Kick Buttowski! ♪

(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)

Shh! She can hear us.

Who? Your mother!

Every year, she tears the house apart

looking for her anniversary present!

She's consumed by the thrill of the hunt and won't stop until...

(THUNDERING FOOTSTEPS)

(RATTLING)

(TEETH CHATTERING)

(FOOTSTEPS DEPARTING)

BOTH: Phew!

(SCREAMING)

Hello, boys! Just tidying up!

(HUMMING)

Okay. Where is it?

No idea what you're talking about, darling.

I'm just having a conversation with our son.

Hmm. Well, see you at brekkie. (HUMMING)

See? She's relentless!

Just once, I'd like to surprise your mother.

She always finds it!

You've gotta help me hide your mom's present!

It's a big responsibility, Kick. Can you handle it?

Of course, Dad. I'll...

(CRASHING)

MOM: Where is it? Why is there so much junk in this house?

I'll never find my... I mean, still cleaning!

She'll never stop looking!

MAN ON RADIO: The Mellowbrook Swap Meet!

Bring your old junk, swap for new junk,

or just get Mom out of the house.

That's a great idea! Thanks, radio!

I'll take her to the Swap Meet!

She might not stop looking for her gift, but she sure won't find it!

I'm entrusting you with this responsibility. Now hide it well, Kick!

Present!

(CERAMICS SHATTERING)

Ah-ha!

There. Good luck finding that.

Be gone, lowly peasant!

I've come to rescue young Betsy from her dungeon chamber.

Yeah, yeah, have fun.

Hey, Kick, thanks for taking care of that thing.

While I'm gone, why don't you sit in my chair?

Wow. Really?

Okay, dear. Let's get swapping!

Where is my present!

Come on now, hon. Or we'll miss all the good swapping.

Be good, kids!

Hey! How come you get to sit in Dad's chair?

Totally saved Mom and Dad's anniversary.

Dad asked me to hide Mom's present.

You? But that was my job!

Yeah, Brad.

Yeah, Brad.

Yeah, Brad.

It was your job, Brad. And you got fired.

I let Dad down. And now you're gonna get all the glory!

Okay, dillweed. Where'd you hide it?

Save it, Brad. I'm a rock. I'm not telling you...

Quiet! It's Burping Betsy's nap time!

Tell me where Mom's present is or the board gets it!

Old Blue! Whoa!

Okay, fine!

It's inside a baby doll, inside a violin case, inside a baby carriage!

You mean the baby carriage that's inside Dad's car?

Yes, the baby carriage that's inside Dad's car!

They're gonna swap Mom's necklace!

Dad's never gonna trust me again!

Like he doesn't trust you!

(GROWLS)

(LAUGHS) I'm gonna find that necklace, dillweed!

And get back Dad's trust!

Yeah, redemption!

Huh?

Empty.

Can't let Dad see me.

(CLEARS THROAT) Hello, kind sir.

I am looking for a doll inside a violin case inside a baby carriage.

Oh, I wish I could help you, buddy.

But I just swapped my last one

for this nifty microcassette recorder!

Note to self. Invest in more doll/violin/carriage combos.

Hey! Stop that!

Gotta find the doll before Brad.

(LAUGHS) (GASPS)

I win, Brad.

(SCREAMING)

Aw, biscuits.

Excuse me, ma'am, where'd you get this carriage?

Some dreadful man dressed like a mall cop.

Where's the violin case that was in the carriage?

Pretty sharp board you got there...

It's not for swapping. Where's the violin case?

Sorry, bub. I don't start talking till you start swapping.

DAD: (ECHOING) It's a big responsibility, Kick.

Sure you can handle it?

Sit in my chair. My chair... My chair!

Stay alive. I'll be back.

Now where's the violin case?

Swapped it to Magnus.

(LAUGHS)

Thanks for the tip, dillweed! (LAUGHS)

Mr. Magnuson! Who has the violin case?

Bwar! Boy in black swapped it for his heart.

He say he not using it anyways.

Emo Kid.

(LAUGHS) Dillweed.

DAD: This way, dear.

They're heading home. I've got to find that doll.

I left something really important in there.

I just need to look inside.

Come on. Hurry up!

(GASPS) It's empty.

Like my dreams.

(LAUGHS) I found it! There it is.

I saved the day. Love me, Father!

Give me the necklace, you crazy doll.

KICK: Ha! That's not it. The doll in the basement wasn't in a box.

That doll was mint condition. In its original box.

It's worth more than all these others combined.

I've never even pulled the string to make her talk!

I'm Burping Betsy! (BURPS)

(BETSY BURPS)

Quiet! It's Burping Betsy's nap time!

(BURPS)

I know where the doll is!

(GROWLS)

Not so fast. You're gonna have to pay for this doll.

Uh, uh, can you break a thousand?

Oh! Why, of course.

Brad Bucks? BRAD: Yeah, Brad.

Take them all. I need this board.

Present! Present! Present!

Brianna, have you seen Kick?

(BURPS)

Burping Betsy! You're sick!

Yes!

Yes!

Yes. This'll pay for the doll.

Ooh, and this, too.

Wait! Can't we swap the doll for the necklace?

Sorry, kid. No reverse swapsies.

Pleasure doing business with you.

Way to go, dillweed! This is all your fault!

Now Dad's gonna see I'm way more responsible than you.

None of that matters now, Brad.

Mom's anniversary is ruined, and Dad's never gonna trust me again.

Hmm, remind me, dillweed. Who's responsible for the gift?

Hmm? Not me! I "got fired," remember?

It's your problem now! (LAUGHS)

All right, Kick! I need that necklace!

Your mother's about to burst!

Um... Well, Dad, about that present...

(ROARING)

(IN DEMONIC VOICE) Who said "present"?

(ROARING)

My Burping Betsy doll! Oh, it looks brand-new.

Harold! You had it restored!

Just go with it, Dad.

I'm so glad you like it, Honey!

Like it? I love it!

It looks just like it did when you won it for me on our very first date.

Oh, this is the best anniversary present ever!

(KISSING)

And so much better than some predictable jewelry.

(SCOFFS) Yeah! Of course.

I wouldn't buy you some dumb jewelry. (NERVOUS CHUCKLE)

But, Dad! It was my idea to trade the necklace for the doll!

Can I have some responsibility back now?

You some want some responsibility, do you, Bradley?

Oh, yes, Father! Ever so much!

DAD: Oh, Bradley! Don't forget to fix Brianna's dollhouse, you responsible man, you.

(GARBLED) Yeah, responsible Brad.

So, Kick, can I count on you to hide Mom's present next year, too?

Sure thing, Dad.

(BELL RINGS)

What are you gonna get, Kick?

A slice of pepperoni pizza topped with a slice of pizza.

(GASPS) They can do that now?

It's Pizza Friday, Gunther. Think big.

I would like a single slice topped with a Cornish game hen.

BOTH: Tuna surprise? On Pizza Friday?

What kind of weirdo would serve tuna surprise on Pizza Friday?

Surprise! Who's buzzed for the spelling bee?

STUDENTS: Aw!

Hey! What happened to Pizza Friday?

Tonight is the regional spelling bee.

My champion Kendall needs a lot of omega-3s for memory.

And what food is rich in omega-3s?

Tuna! T-U-N-A, tuna. From the Greek thynos.

Such a good little speller!

I don't know what I would do without my Kendall.

Celebrate?

(GROANS)

Gunther? You okay?

It looks like food poisoning.

It must be from the tuna surprise!

(GROANS)

Please, Kendall. Snap out of it.

(GROANS)

Do you think maybe you could move your lips a little?

I could talk off-stage, you know, like I do with Emo Kid on the debate team.

Let's try it! C-A-T...

This is hopeless.

What will I do without my champion?

There's gotta be some student left who can take her place.

(ALL GROANING)

Should have stuck with Pizza Friday.

You! You've got to take her place! You're the only one left!

Me? Nah. Spelling's not my thing.

Besides, what's the big deal?

Forty years ago we lost the spelling bee, and it was my fault.

The word is "principal."

Would you like to hear it in a sentence?

That won't be necessary!

P-R-I-N-C-I-P-L-E.

(IN SLOW MOTION) Wrong!

(SCREAMS)

(LAUGHS)

I should have asked for it in a sentence!

That day I made a solemn vow to train a champion and win back the trophy.

Kendall was going to be that champion.

(GROANING)

But now that chance is ruined.

Brilliant summary of your shameful past.

Too bad it's not a summary bee.

(GASPS) Principal Rival!

It's pronounced "Rival."

And prepare to lose once again, because my school has a new student.

Javier!

It's Javier! Jav-a-who-now?

He's undefeated in six continents!

(ROARING)

S-T-O-P!

Javier might be new to the area.

But he is no stranger to the language of language.

Tuna surprise?

No, thank you. I see you are in trouble.

So many sick spellers. (STUDENT RETCHING)

Au contraire, I have my champion right here.

Really? You cannot outspell me.

This is not your baby stunting.

Spelling is a real challenge for real men.

And your cheap, unfashionable helmet will not protect you.

Tonight, defeat is spelled

M-E-L-L-O-W-B-R...

(TRILLING TONGUE)

We'll see who...

O-O-K. And now Javier walks away.

Please say yes, Kick.

I'm in. But if I win, I want Pizza Friday back.

Deal.

Forever. Done.

And Tuesdays.

What am I, made of Pizza Friday?

Let's do this thing.

Javier is going down in defeat. D-E-F-E-E-T.

We've got a lot of work to do.

Time for my rigorous spelling boot camp!

(INAUDIBLE)

Well, none of that worked.

You're clearly a horrible speller, and that was a complete waste of time.

(CLAPPING)

True. It is a complete waste of time when you are up against Javier.

How did you even get in here? Show me your visitor's badge.

Visitor badges? We don't need no stinking visitor badges.

I kid you. They are right here.

See you boys later.

Yeah, bye.

It's hopeless!

There's no way Mellowbrook is going to beat Javier.

Oh, this is more humiliating than my last doctor's visit.

Principal Henry, I've got some bad news.

Your haircut is terrible.

Can I get a second opinion?

No. (SIGHS)

We will beat Javier. But we've gotta try something different.

I learn by doing.

What's the word?

"Adrenaline."

What am I supposed to do with this again?

Throw it as hard as you can!

(GRUNTS)

Remember that time I painted your office camouflage?

Oh, you demon!

Keep it up! Perfect!

A-D-R-E-N-A-L-I-N-E!

Adrenaline!

Great job! Perfect!

The word is "vault."

V-A-U-L-T!

Vault!

(CAR ALARMS BLARING)

The word is "balloon."

B-A-L-O... (GRUNTS)

Um, B-A-L-U? (GRUNTS)

B-A-L-L-O-O-N. Got it now.

We're almost out of time.

Okay! Well, I'll just meet you at the bottom.

(SCREAMING)

Thorny, T-H-O-R-N-Y!

Glue, G-L-U-E!

Grizzly, G-R-I-Z-Z-L-Y!

Incline, I-N-C-L-I-N-E!

Buckle, B-U-C-K-L-E!

(SCREAMS)

For a while there, I thought I was a goner.

If I said anything...

Don't worry about it. Your secrets are safe with me.

Thank you, Kick.

Good evening, Kick. I wish you the best of luck in the competition.

Javier can spell for hours.

(SIGHS)

Welcome to the Annual State Regional Spelling Bee!

One speller from every school will compete.

Misspell a single word and you'll be eternally frozen.

Oh, I mean disqualified.

The first speller may now come to the microphone.

(INAUDIBLE)

And we're down to the last two.

You're gonna do it, Kick!

Remember, ask for the word in a sentence.

You're gonna spell lightning, and you're gonna burp thunder!

Ole!

The final word is "principal."

Would you like to hear it in a sentence?

That won't be necessary.

P-R-I-N-C-I

P-L-E.

That is incorrect.

(ALL GASPING)

(SPEAKING SPANISH)

No!

Mr. Buttowski?

I'd like to hear the word in a sentence.

"Principal," as in, "Kick Buttowski,

"the principal would like to see you in his office."

Principal. P-R-I-N-C-I-P-A-L!

That is correct! Mellowbrook wins!

(ALL CHEERING)

Well done.

While you are a horrible dresser,

you are a worthy opponent.

I bow to you.

But you won't be so lucky next year.

And besides, there is always La fair de ciencia.

(SIPPING JUICE BOX)

I couldn't have done it without you.

A job well done, Mr. Buttowski.

This calls for some tuna surprise.

Mmm... (SCREAMS)

Kick, the district-wide principals' square dance competition is tonight.

I've never lost.

I'm on it.

(BANJO MUSIC PLAYING)

Hey, Kick. How do you spell "relief"?

I don't know, Gunther. How do you spell "relief"?

(FARTS)

That's how.