Original subtitles

♪ Kick, Kick, Kick, Kick, Kick

♪ Kick Buttowski, Buttowski

♪ Kick

♪ Kick

♪ Kick Buttowski

♪ Kick, Kick, Kick

♪ Kick Buttowski

♪ Kick, Kick, Kick, Kick

♪ Kick

♪ Kick

♪ Kick Buttowski

♪ Kick Buttowski! ♪

(BIRD SQUAWKING)

(SIZZLING)

MAN: Heat wave!

Why so hot?

I think it's a perfect day to hit the Mellowbrook Community Pool.

Yeah, good thing we're right in front of it!

KICK: Into the pool!

GUNTHER: You said it, my sweaty friend.

Wowzers, Shannon, you'll have your hands full today.

They sure are having fun!

Super. Not on my watch.

(CRACKING BACK)

(LICKING)

Cool, refreshing water, here I come.

(SHANNON BLOWING WHISTLE)

No diving!

Then why do you have a diving board?

Look, kid, during my shift, I'm here for the rays,

not to guard your precious little life. Assistant!

Yes, Shannon, my love?

Take care of this situation.

I've got better things to do.

Don't worry, Shannon dearest,

I'll explain the rules of our fine pool to my little...

Just go. You're getting drool all over my chair.

Oh! I'm sorry, my love!

Now listen up, dillweed!

I'm the Assistant Associate Junior Lifeguard in training,

with a hot boss named Shannon.

If I do what she wants, maybe she'll do what The Brad wants.

I already got most of her phone number.

-Which part? -The area code.

(SCREAMING) So don't ruin this for me!

(KICK YELLING)

Mm, coconut.

Situation neutralized.

Continue tanning that hot bod of yours!

Don't worry about these two.

BRAD: They won't get the drop on Brad Buttowski!

(SHANNON SCREAMING)

(SCREAMING)

(KICK AND GUNTHER LAUGHING)

BOTH: We're in!

(SHANNON BLOWING WHISTLE)

-Horace? -Pantsy?

We're assistants to the Assistant Associate

Junior Lifeguard! In training!

We ain't got time to watch you for Brad

who ain't got time to watch you for Shannon

to watch you, uh, on her shift!

So it's into the...

(SLOW MOTION) Kiddie pool!

(SLOW MOTION LAUGHING)

There is no way they're sticking me in the kiddie pool!

Yeah! Cool, wet, refreshing freedom, here I come!

(TOWEL WHIPPING)

Nice try, dumb-dumb.

No kids in the big pool.

-Why? -Because it's...

(BLOWING WHISTLE)

(YELLING) Senior citizen swim!

Oskar, it's our turn now!

What? Oskar's not a senior citizen!

That dog is at least ten years old!

In dog years, that's, uh, hmm,

(GRUNTING)

five hundred and seventeen! Now quiet!

Huh.

I'm only going to swim one lap.

I'll be out in no time at all.

-KIDS: Phew! -(OVERLAPPING CHATTER)

But first, I've got to protect my alabaster skin.

Oh, yeah, rub it in.

Oh, don't forget the delicate areas!

(DISGUSTED GROANING)

Ugh! My sunscreen doesn't seem to be working.

Curse you, demon sun!

Oh! Let's see now.

Ooh! That is some mighty chilly water on such a hot day.

What smells like bacon?

(SIZZLING)

(WHISTLING NERVOUSLY)

And off we go!

GUNTHER: Oh! She's halfway across!

(KIDS GROANING)

Quiet! Stop whining!

Hey, you two, guard these babies while I go talk to Shannon!

(HORACE AND PANTSY GROWLING)

If we want to get our pool back,

we're gonna need a distraction.

Lord Duckington! You're alive!

(LAUGHING)

Bingo! And now, a launching device.

So I work out about six times a day,

start with my glutes, then...

(YELLING) The waterbug, it burns!

Cover for me, I'm going on break.

Remember to keep those kids out of the pool.

And stay off my tower!

But you just got back from lunch!

Uh, yeah. Now I need my food to digest.

So when are we going out?

Uh, how about the 30th of February?

So it's a date! Yeah, Brad!

(SWALLOWING) Bah! Tastes like expired chicken!

Huh? Hold it! You're not fooling anybody!

Where do you think you're all going?

Oh, us?

My senior-aged friend and I accidentally wandered into the kiddie pool,

where it smells like bacon for no gross reason whatsoever.

Senior citizens, huh?

Why, yes.

This is my associate, Mrs. Chica-doo-doo.

And I'm Mr. Pickle.

Um, I mean, I'm Mrs. Chica-doo-doo

and this is Mr. Pickle!

And these are all of our grandkids! Ta-da!

Junior assistants to the assistant in training! Front and center!

BOTH: Yes, boss?

I thought I told you to watch these jerks!

But we are!

You kids must really take me for a fool.

Come on, look at that moustache!

Who really has a moustache that big?

It's faker than a three-dollar bill!

And you! Nice wig. Really?

Where's the rats that go with that nest?

You think you really had me fooled wearing that, that, that...

Uh, sorry.

(SLAPPING) Well, I never! Let's go Mrs. Chica-doo-doo.

I mean, Mr. Pickle!

(GROWLS) Get those punks!

I've had enough of these shenanigans!

Time to put you all in lockdown!

KIDS: No!

Let's see you babies get out of this one!

I welcome the isolation.

I'll tell you boys, coming up with that cage idea?

Sheer Brad.

Gentlemen, to the cage.

ALL: To the cage!

What's the point of breaking out?

I don't remember how life is on the outside.

The joint changes a man.

Come on, guys! We gotta do something!

Haven't you done enough, Clarence?

No, I haven't, Kendall!

They took our pool with their stupid "rules."

This was our spot!

MOUTH: But if we misbehave,

they'll take away the small bit of refreshing pool we have left.

(IMITATING SHIVER) Is that water too refreshing?

I can take care of that, with a little heat.

(HORACE, PANTSY AND BRAD LAUGHING)

Phew! Being an Assistant Associate Junior Lifeguard in training

sure is exhausting!

Now, are you with me?

(KIDS CHEERING) Yeah!

Yes! Gunther! Triumphant lift.

Listen up, everybody!

I need each and every one of you for

a prison riot!

(KIDS YELLING) Wait until Shannon sees how many zits I burned off.

(SING-SONG) Awesome!

What the... Aw, come on, man! Now what?

Cut it out in there!

Another diversion, eh? Horace! Pantsy!

Watch these kids for real this time!

I'm going to the big chair.

-Pipe down! -Pipe down!

Oh, the power, it's glorious!

Everything seems to be nice and...

What the! Huh?

We've got an escapee! (SCREAMING)

Bleh! Horace! Pantsy! Get him!

But save me first! (CHOKING)

(GASPING)

This ends now!

(GRUNTING)

(BRAD GRUNTING)

(GROWLING)

Free swim!

(KIDS CHEERING)

Don't just stand there!

We gotta get those kids back in the kiddie pool

before my future girlfriend comes back!

Gunther! Head for the pool!

But Kick, what about you?

I just have a few loose ends to tie up.

Keep your eyes peeled!

Ain't nothing getting past me!

Huh? Huh?

HORACE: (SCREAMING) Brad! Help!

Two can play at that game, dillweed!

(BRAD SCREAMING)

(ALL SCREAMING)

Here's your Cheetah Pop, little dude.

Thanks, mister!

(GROANING)

Ah! What a great swim!

I feel a hundred years younger.

Ah! My sciatica!

BOTH: This is gonna be awesome!

We're gonna die!

Yeah, he knows about the restraining order.

(SIGHING) Just great.

(GRUNTING)

Ugh, and I suppose I have to perform mouth to mouth.

(WATCH BEEPING)

Oh, my shift's over! Hey, second shift! You're up!

Hello!

Wait, what?

Don't worry, ma'am! I'm a trained profession-na-nal.

(SCREAMING) No!

KICK: Yes! GUNTHER: We did it!

You did exactly what, you weirdos?

The pool's all drained! How are we gonna cool off now?

Oh, leave that to Kick Buttowski.

(CHEERING)

This is quite refreshing!

And he is creating a gentle breeze!

I guess Clarence isn't all bad.

(HORACE AND PANTSY SLURPING)

(STORE BELL RINGING)

ROWDY REMINGTON: Service!

(SPLASHING)

Sorry, man, gotta keep Eddie somewhere.

-(GROWLING) -Hey, hey, relax my man!

What you need is a stress-reducing drink.

If they made those.

(DINGING) Ha!

This give Rowdy idea.

(SLURPING)

So, Wade,

looks like you've done a little redecorating.

Well, Danger Dude, my stepmom told me

I can't sleep in her basement anymore.

Dang.

Got nowhere else to go.

Guess I'll be living at the Food 'N' Fix forever.

(MICROWAVE DINGS)

Oh, hang tight, dudes. That must be the rest of my clothes.

Kick, we need to do something.

(SLURPING) Mm, sock sloshy.

Gunther, huddle.

(WHISPERING)

Wade, we cannot allow you to live in the Food 'N' Fix.

I don't know, Kick. Maybe it's time I live on my own.

(WHISPERING)

Wade, you're moving in with me.

Payback for all the times you've helped me out.

Wow, your parents gonna be okay with that?

(WHISPERING)

They don't need to know.

Awesome, dude!

(LAUGHING) Hey! I'm so excited!

(WHISPERING)

Yeah, so are we.

But how are we gonna get all my stuff into your house?

(TIRES SCREECHING)

Now, dude!

(CAT SCREECHING)

Mighty early in the season for an underwear storm.

Awesome, dude. Now we just gotta figure out

how we're gonna sneak me into your room.

-KICK: Roommates! -WADE: Roommates!

Hey, are you sure this whole setup is okay?

Of course it is.

Two pals drinking chili in their room together for the rest of their lives?

This is gonna be awesome.

It's weird that something called chili makes you feel so toasty.

(BELCHING)

Phew! I'm pooped.

Better nest up for the night.

No, Wade. You're the guest, you get the bed.

Wow, Double-D, I never slept in a bed before.

Have a good siesta, buddy.

Wade, every night here in my room.

Ah, the coolest life ever.

(SNORING)

(SNORING)

Night, buddy.

(YAWNING) First breakfast with the new roomie.

Hey, Wade, I got us some Billy Stumps cereal...

Oh, yeah! (GULPING)

(DISHES SMASHING)

So, Wade, you don't seem like your usual mellow self.

I don't remember having this freedom. Look, I'm a spaceman!

(EXCLAIMING)

Oh, sorry, dude.

That's okay, awesome roomie.

(WADE SNORING)

Uh, Wade? Could you...

(SCREAMING)

Whoa, sorry dude, night terrors.

It's all good, roomie.

(SNORING)

(SIGHS) I gotta sleep somewhere else.

(WADE BELCHING)

(SIGHING)

(WADE BELCHING)

(WADE SPEAKING GIBBERISH)

Wade! (WADE DRUMMING)

Are you crazy? Keep it down! My parents will...

(DOOR SLAMMING)

On second thought, play as loud as you want.

Thanks, Kick! Yeah! Yeah!

(DRUMMING)

Kick, what is the... (GASPS) Wade?

Drum kit?

That's right, Mom and Dad.

I invited Wade to move in, and I didn't even ask your permission first.

I guess Wade will just have to...

MOM: Stay as long as he wants.

Of course!

I've been looking for a reason to get the old band back together!

(FOGHORN)

I also got this, which is nice.

(LAUGHING)

(FOGHORN)

(SIGHS)

(WADE BELCHING)

Gunther? Ugh! Gunther!

-(PHONE RINGS) -Yes?

Huddle.

This isn't working out.

Why? Because Wade's annoying?

No! Wade's all right. But living with him is making me crazy.

Like your family does?

-(GASPS) -Sorry, did I cross the line?

Gunther, you genius!

Once Wade sees how crazy they are, he'll want to leave!

Thanks!

(GRUNTS) I'm okay.

Brianna! Wade wants to come to your tea party!

Isn't that right, Wade?

(DOOR SLAMS)

That should be long enough.

Hey, Wade, you ready to go?

And when Sally said Penelope had fake eyebrows,

I nearly died.

Bills, bills!

Dad, Wade wants to help you sort your bills.

Really, Wade? I never knew you loved mail!

Come check out my collection of tattered envelopes.

This will do the trick.

WADE: Whoa, awesome!

Do you have a septic pump utility bill?

Go fish, go fish!

MOM: Well, if you really want to help with all the dishes...

No problem, Danger Mom!

-Water fight! -(CHUCKLING) Oh!

Oh, bless your heart! You make chores so fun!

Time to pull out the big guns.

Yeah, Brad!

Hey, Brad, Wade said he wants to let you practice crashing...

I mean, driving his car.

You did?

-I did? -You did.

Well, hey, sure, why not?

Whip out that learner's permit and hop in!

(CAR ENGINE STARTING)

(TIRES SCREECHING)

(TIRES SCREECHING)

Danger Dude, oh, man, you really should come with us next time.

Yeah, Brad! Yeah, Brad! Yeah, Brad! Yeah, Brad!

I need some stunt therapy.

My wheel bolt's gone!

(SCREAMING)

(BLENDER WHIRRING)

Hey, dude! Used your wheel bolts to...

Fix Mom's mixer. Perfect.

(BREAKS SQUEAKING)

Brake, brake, brake, brake! (SCREAMS)

KICK: A-E-I-O-U and sometimes why!

Hey, dude! Replaced your dad's brakes.

The ones on your bike were a perfect fit!

Go figure.

(SIGHS)

Hey, dude! I made a picnic table out of...

From my half-pipe. Yeah, I know.

You ever think maybe you could just buy that stuff?

BRAD: Yeah, Brad!

Why buy stuff

when you can just recycle the stuff all around you?

Like this string? Makes perfect floss.

Whoa, man, put on some pantalones.

I can't take it anymore!

Snoring, drumming,

night terrors, ruining my stunts!

I don't want you to be my roommate anymore!

(ALL GASPING)

Wow, sorry dude. Didn't know I made you feel that way.

(CHEWING)

Guess I'll be going now.

It's just weird, you know, 'cause never been on my own before.

Wade, don't!

No, no, no.

I'm not gonna stay unless Danger Dude wants me to.

Now who's gonna drum with Daddy?

And who's gonna come to my tea parties?

Yeah! And who's gonna help me finally get a girl, dillweed?

Yeah, Brad!

Let's leave Wade's room just how he left it, in case he comes back.

(DOOR SLAMMING)

(SCREAMING)

Wade, out there, on his own. I must find him.

Wade?

(STAPLING)

Wade!

(ECHOING) Wade!

(ECHOING) I didn't know I made you feel that way.

Hey, Kick! I heard

from my cousin's sister's boyfriend's mother's uncle

who heard it from his dentist's podiatrist's stock broker's niece

who heard it from me that Wade is living in a tool shed!

A tool shed?

Where they keep tools!

Gunther! This is all my fault.

Wade can't live on his own

and he certainly can't live in a tool shed.

I gotta get him back.

Wade! (BATS SCREECHING)

(SCREAMING)

Wade!

Tools!

Wade!

PAPERCUT PETERSON: Hey, shut the door! I'm warming up the car!

(FARTS)

Gunther, I can't find...

Wade!

-Hey, Danger Dude! -Wade!

Wade, I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have said all that stuff.

I want you to come back.

No worries, dude, and I'm glad you told me that.

You know what? I wanna try living on my own.

In this tool shed? I can't let you.

I don't live in this tool shed.

-(PAPERCUT PETERSON) That's right! -I live in that tool shed.

My friend, how is accommodations?

Awesomely awesome, dude-bro!

You're living in Rowdy's tool shed?

Yeah, it's a pretty good deal. I can stay here for free.

All I gotta do is be in a commercial

for Rowdy's new stress-reducing drink, Slacker-Z.

FEMALE SINGERS: ♪ Slacker-Z! ♪

But now I gotta figure out how to move all my stuff in.

(TIRES SCREECHING)

Hey, share the road!

(GASPS) I love underwear season.

Wishing I had stress relief!

Fearing not, handsome cowboy dude-bro.

New Slacker-Z will curing all what ails you.

FEMALE SINGERS: ♪ Slacker-Z! ♪