All language subtitles for Atypical.S01E01.WEBRip.x264-RARBG

af Afrikaans
ak Akan
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bem Bemba
bn Bengali
bh Bihari
bs Bosnian
br Breton
bg Bulgarian
km Cambodian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
chr Cherokee
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
ee Ewe
fo Faroese
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gaa Ga
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gn Guarani
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ia Interlingua
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
rw Kinyarwanda
rn Kirundi
kg Kongo
ko Korean
kri Krio (Sierra Leone)
ku Kurdish
ckb Kurdish (Soranî)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Laothian
la Latin
lv Latvian
ln Lingala
lt Lithuanian
loz Lozi
lg Luganda
ach Luo
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mfe Mauritian Creole
mo Moldavian
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
sr-ME Montenegrin
ne Nepali
pcm Nigerian Pidgin
nso Northern Sotho
no Norwegian
nn Norwegian (Nynorsk)
oc Occitan
or Oriya
om Oromo
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt-BR Portuguese (Brazil)
pt Portuguese (Portugal) Download
pa Punjabi
qu Quechua
ro Romanian
rm Romansh
nyn Runyakitara
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
sh Serbo-Croatian
st Sesotho
tn Setswana
crs Seychellois Creole
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhalese Download
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish Download
es-419 Spanish (Latin American)
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
tt Tatar
te Telugu
th Thai
ti Tigrinya
to Tonga
lua Tshiluba
tum Tumbuka
tr Turkish
tk Turkmen
tw Twi
ug Uighur
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
wo Wolof
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:07,507 --> 00:00:10,635 [man] I'm a weirdo. That's what everyone says. 2 00:00:10,719 --> 00:00:13,179 Sometimes, I don't know what people mean when they say things, 3 00:00:13,346 --> 00:00:17,267 and that can make me feel alone even when there are other people in the room. 4 00:00:17,350 --> 00:00:19,936 And all I can do is sit and twiddle, 5 00:00:20,020 --> 00:00:22,689 which is what I call my self-stimulatory behavior, 6 00:00:22,772 --> 00:00:27,360 when I flick a pencil against a rubber band at a certain frequency 7 00:00:27,444 --> 00:00:29,529 and think about all the things that I could never do, 8 00:00:29,612 --> 00:00:34,075 like research penguins in Antarctica or have a girlfriend. 9 00:00:34,159 --> 00:00:36,995 I don't know. I'd like to go to Antarctica. 10 00:00:37,746 --> 00:00:38,872 It's quiet there... 11 00:00:39,831 --> 00:00:42,208 except in the rookeries, where the penguins breed. 12 00:00:42,292 --> 00:00:44,294 [chuckles] Those aren't quiet. No, sir. 13 00:00:45,628 --> 00:00:47,088 I'm finished with my answer. 14 00:00:48,131 --> 00:00:49,215 Great. 15 00:00:49,299 --> 00:00:51,718 Almost done for today. Good session, Sam. 16 00:00:51,801 --> 00:00:53,970 I can see your bra. It's purple. 17 00:00:55,930 --> 00:00:57,140 [chuckles] 18 00:00:57,223 --> 00:01:01,061 Um, there was one more thing I wanted to discuss. 19 00:01:01,144 --> 00:01:03,813 And I don't need your answer now, 20 00:01:03,897 --> 00:01:06,232 but I'm asking all my clients if they'd be willing 21 00:01:06,316 --> 00:01:07,984 to donate their brains for research. 22 00:01:08,068 --> 00:01:09,611 [laughs] 23 00:01:09,694 --> 00:01:10,945 Donate my brain? 24 00:01:11,696 --> 00:01:13,865 - After you die. -Oh. 25 00:01:13,948 --> 00:01:17,160 Yeah. There's such a shortage of brain matter available, 26 00:01:17,243 --> 00:01:19,829 and, you know, there's no substitute for the real thing. 27 00:01:19,913 --> 00:01:20,997 [chuckles] 28 00:01:21,081 --> 00:01:23,249 Just think about it. 29 00:01:24,292 --> 00:01:26,586 -Okay. -And, hey, Sam, 30 00:01:27,253 --> 00:01:29,923 what you said earlier about having a girlfriend? 31 00:01:30,507 --> 00:01:32,383 People in the spectrum date, you know? 32 00:01:32,467 --> 00:01:36,137 You can try to find someone, if you wanted to. 33 00:01:36,679 --> 00:01:39,182 -How? -You just have to put yourself out there. 34 00:01:40,141 --> 00:01:41,184 Out where? 35 00:01:43,520 --> 00:01:45,021 [Sam] Buses are okay, 36 00:01:45,104 --> 00:01:48,024 but I don't like the feeling of the seat on my back, 37 00:01:48,108 --> 00:01:49,859 so I sit like this. 38 00:01:49,943 --> 00:01:51,653 I don't know how people stand it. 39 00:01:51,736 --> 00:01:55,281 Maybe they've developed thicker back skin from riding the bus so much. 40 00:01:55,365 --> 00:01:58,660 There's a type of Antarctic cod that has a special protein 41 00:01:58,743 --> 00:02:01,037 in its blood that stops it from freezing. 42 00:02:01,121 --> 00:02:03,206 [chuckles] Antifreeze in fish. 43 00:02:03,289 --> 00:02:04,332 [laughs] 44 00:02:08,169 --> 00:02:10,547 I was just thinking about Antarctic cod. 45 00:02:13,758 --> 00:02:16,970 Antarctica is the most remote continent on the planet. 46 00:02:19,430 --> 00:02:21,391 It has 90% of the world's ice, 47 00:02:21,474 --> 00:02:24,185 but it's considered a desert because the annual rainfall 48 00:02:24,269 --> 00:02:25,687 is only about eight inches. 49 00:02:26,396 --> 00:02:29,232 You wouldn't think it was a desert when you looked at it. 50 00:02:30,567 --> 00:02:31,943 That's why I like it. 51 00:02:33,319 --> 00:02:34,863 It's not what it looks like. 52 00:02:35,488 --> 00:02:38,158 [woman] Sam! Dinner! 53 00:02:38,241 --> 00:02:41,578 So, I ordered those T-shirts that Sam likes, in bulk... 54 00:02:41,661 --> 00:02:43,454 you know, 100% cotton... 55 00:02:43,538 --> 00:02:48,001 and they switched them to something that they called "tri-blend." 56 00:02:48,084 --> 00:02:52,422 So I called the company, and I spoke to this woman named Rizwana. 57 00:02:52,505 --> 00:02:54,424 I think I was speaking with India. 58 00:02:54,507 --> 00:02:55,592 [man] Mm-hmm. 59 00:02:55,675 --> 00:02:57,260 But, anyway, um... 60 00:02:57,343 --> 00:03:01,055 And she found a box of the old ones, 61 00:03:01,139 --> 00:03:02,724 and they sent them free of charge. 62 00:03:02,807 --> 00:03:05,101 -They're exactly the right kind. -[man] Mm. 63 00:03:05,184 --> 00:03:07,061 Wow. That is a great story, Mom. 64 00:03:07,145 --> 00:03:08,438 Oh, don't be a dick, honey. 65 00:03:08,521 --> 00:03:11,149 So, Sam, how was your session with Julia today? 66 00:03:11,232 --> 00:03:12,775 She wants me to donate my brain, 67 00:03:12,859 --> 00:03:14,444 but don't worry, it's after I die. 68 00:03:14,527 --> 00:03:17,447 What, like, for research? That could be kind of cool. 69 00:03:17,530 --> 00:03:18,531 Absolutely not. 70 00:03:19,198 --> 00:03:20,825 And the queen has spoken. 71 00:03:20,909 --> 00:03:23,077 Well, it's gross, Casey. 72 00:03:23,161 --> 00:03:26,039 You tell Julia, "Thank you, but no." 73 00:03:26,122 --> 00:03:28,333 -[Sam] Okay. -You're so easy to boss around. 74 00:03:28,416 --> 00:03:30,585 I don't care what happens to my dead brain. 75 00:03:30,668 --> 00:03:33,171 It's either I give it to Julia, or maggots eat it. 76 00:03:33,254 --> 00:03:35,089 If Mom wants maggots to eat it, fine. 77 00:03:35,173 --> 00:03:37,467 No, no, no. That's not what I'm saying. 78 00:03:37,550 --> 00:03:38,551 Kind of is. 79 00:03:38,635 --> 00:03:40,220 I don't care. I'll be dead. 80 00:03:40,303 --> 00:03:43,431 Can we stop talking about you being dead? You're not going anywhere. 81 00:03:43,514 --> 00:03:45,141 Wow, this chicken's really good, honey. 82 00:03:45,266 --> 00:03:46,851 Thanks. It's a dry rub. 83 00:03:46,935 --> 00:03:48,144 It's a good dry rub. 84 00:03:48,811 --> 00:03:51,272 Julia thinks that I should put myself out there 85 00:03:51,356 --> 00:03:53,316 and find someone to have sex with. 86 00:03:53,399 --> 00:03:54,776 [laughs] 87 00:03:54,859 --> 00:03:56,778 She didn't say the sex part. I added that. 88 00:03:56,861 --> 00:03:58,154 [laughing] 89 00:04:04,202 --> 00:04:06,204 [theme music playing] 90 00:04:26,349 --> 00:04:28,977 -[school bell rings] -[indistinct conversations] 91 00:04:33,773 --> 00:04:36,359 [Sam] My school is crowded, noisy, 92 00:04:36,442 --> 00:04:37,986 and it smells weird, 93 00:04:38,069 --> 00:04:40,405 but it has one thing going for it: 94 00:04:40,488 --> 00:04:42,490 it has lots of girls. 95 00:04:42,573 --> 00:04:47,287 Well, I think every girl is pretty in her own way, 96 00:04:47,370 --> 00:04:50,164 like a snowflake in a seasonal Antarctic storm. 97 00:05:06,014 --> 00:05:07,807 [Sam] But girls don't notice me at all. 98 00:05:13,730 --> 00:05:14,689 Thank you. 99 00:05:17,775 --> 00:05:19,944 Banged a veterinarian I met online last night. 100 00:05:20,028 --> 00:05:22,613 She had a pet parrot that repeated everything she said. 101 00:05:22,697 --> 00:05:25,908 "Do me, Brown Sugar! Do me, Brown Sugar!" 102 00:05:26,409 --> 00:05:28,244 Oh, shit. I think she's racist. 103 00:05:29,454 --> 00:05:30,455 What kind of parrot? 104 00:05:30,538 --> 00:05:33,124 Oh, I don't know. The red rainbow one? 105 00:05:33,207 --> 00:05:35,543 -That's a scarlet macaw. -Oh. 106 00:05:41,507 --> 00:05:42,550 Zahid... 107 00:05:43,676 --> 00:05:44,886 do you like dating girls? 108 00:05:46,304 --> 00:05:48,264 Yeah, dude. I like dating girls. 109 00:05:51,642 --> 00:05:53,186 [camera shutter clicks] 110 00:05:54,520 --> 00:05:55,605 What are you doing? 111 00:05:55,688 --> 00:05:58,191 Going online to try and find a girl to date. 112 00:05:58,274 --> 00:05:59,734 That's hilarious. I'll help. 113 00:06:01,694 --> 00:06:02,987 Okay, finish this sentence: 114 00:06:03,071 --> 00:06:05,323 "I spend a lot of time thinking about..." 115 00:06:05,406 --> 00:06:06,657 Easy. Penguins. 116 00:06:06,741 --> 00:06:09,535 And, especially, I'll say chinstrap penguins. 117 00:06:09,619 --> 00:06:11,579 They're my favorite bird, 118 00:06:11,662 --> 00:06:14,123 but all four types of Antarctic penguins are good. 119 00:06:14,207 --> 00:06:18,252 Did you know early explorers thought they were fish and classified them that way? 120 00:06:18,336 --> 00:06:20,088 Not birds, fish. 121 00:06:22,590 --> 00:06:23,841 I'm gonna put "sports." 122 00:06:23,925 --> 00:06:25,134 [woman] Hey, kids. 123 00:06:25,218 --> 00:06:26,469 What you doing? 124 00:06:26,552 --> 00:06:28,679 Casey's helping me sign up for online dating, 125 00:06:28,763 --> 00:06:30,681 but hates all my answers, so she's lying. 126 00:06:32,642 --> 00:06:34,477 -Wow. -Mm-hmm. 127 00:06:34,560 --> 00:06:36,145 You're a little young for that. 128 00:06:36,229 --> 00:06:38,940 You know, I saw an episode on 20/20. 129 00:06:39,023 --> 00:06:42,276 There's actually something called "catfishing," 130 00:06:42,527 --> 00:06:45,571 -and it has nothing to do with fishing. -Bye, Mom. 131 00:06:48,491 --> 00:06:50,660 Should we take another picture with Edison? 132 00:06:50,743 --> 00:06:53,621 I read online that girls love animals. 133 00:06:53,704 --> 00:06:54,831 Maybe like this? 134 00:06:55,790 --> 00:06:58,459 I think this might go quicker if you just leave. 135 00:07:00,294 --> 00:07:01,838 [sighs] Damn it. 136 00:07:03,381 --> 00:07:05,174 Careful. What are you doing? 137 00:07:05,258 --> 00:07:06,717 Honey, can you get that for me? 138 00:07:08,678 --> 00:07:10,763 -Which one? -Three to five. 139 00:07:11,764 --> 00:07:13,975 This room, it's, like, so disorganized. 140 00:07:14,934 --> 00:07:16,477 -Such a mess. -You okay? 141 00:07:16,561 --> 00:07:18,312 Yes, fine. Totally fine. 142 00:07:18,396 --> 00:07:19,230 [sniffles] 143 00:07:19,313 --> 00:07:20,231 Yeah. 144 00:07:21,149 --> 00:07:23,818 Sam's gonna start dating, so that's something. 145 00:07:23,901 --> 00:07:25,194 Do you remember these? 146 00:07:25,278 --> 00:07:26,988 -Sam's emotion cards? -Yeah. 147 00:07:27,071 --> 00:07:29,323 "Someone's making this face, they might be sad, 148 00:07:29,407 --> 00:07:31,033 so you should try to be kind to them." 149 00:07:31,117 --> 00:07:33,911 A woman in the support group, her son was just diagnosed, 150 00:07:33,995 --> 00:07:34,912 so I said I'd throw 151 00:07:34,996 --> 00:07:36,706 some things together. 152 00:07:36,789 --> 00:07:39,959 This was the exact face he made when I surprised him with Mets tickets. 153 00:07:40,042 --> 00:07:41,919 -Remember that? -Yeah, I do. 154 00:07:42,003 --> 00:07:45,173 I wanted us to just have one thing in common. 155 00:07:45,256 --> 00:07:46,466 Just one thing. 156 00:07:47,550 --> 00:07:50,470 Me and my dad used to go to the ball games all the time. 157 00:07:52,180 --> 00:07:54,474 I think it's all right that Sam's gonna try to date. 158 00:07:54,557 --> 00:07:57,018 I mean, you and I weren't much older when we met, 159 00:07:57,101 --> 00:07:58,978 and that was fun, right? We had a good time. 160 00:07:59,061 --> 00:08:02,023 -Sam's not like us. -I know, but he has to start... 161 00:08:02,106 --> 00:08:04,108 Do you know that every time the phone rings, I jump? 162 00:08:04,692 --> 00:08:06,152 Every time. 163 00:08:06,944 --> 00:08:09,655 I think he's crossed the street again with his eyes closed... 164 00:08:10,531 --> 00:08:12,533 or he had a freak-out in a store 165 00:08:12,617 --> 00:08:15,870 or he's hit a police officer. 166 00:08:15,953 --> 00:08:18,247 -Every time the phone rings. -I know. I know. 167 00:08:18,331 --> 00:08:21,083 But maybe now it's time for us to take a step back. 168 00:08:21,709 --> 00:08:23,628 Spend time together, just the two of us, 169 00:08:23,711 --> 00:08:26,547 you know, get back to where we were before all of this. 170 00:08:27,173 --> 00:08:28,049 Maybe we go on a date. 171 00:08:29,008 --> 00:08:29,842 Hmm? 172 00:08:29,926 --> 00:08:31,719 Or we... we fool around. 173 00:08:31,802 --> 00:08:33,346 [scoffs, laughs] 174 00:08:33,429 --> 00:08:34,764 -Huh? -Yeah, right. 175 00:08:34,847 --> 00:08:35,890 No? 176 00:08:35,973 --> 00:08:37,350 [laughs] 177 00:08:38,476 --> 00:08:39,602 Oh. 178 00:08:40,478 --> 00:08:41,479 You're serious. 179 00:08:42,355 --> 00:08:43,689 I'm not serious. 180 00:08:43,773 --> 00:08:45,441 -I'm sorry. -I'm just playing. 181 00:08:54,700 --> 00:08:57,745 [Julia] Common traits of autism spectrum disorder include 182 00:08:57,828 --> 00:09:00,248 repetitive behaviors, difficulty socializing 183 00:09:00,331 --> 00:09:03,209 and persistent, intense preoccupations. 184 00:09:03,292 --> 00:09:06,963 I have a patient who came up with 95 ways to cook an egg. 185 00:09:10,424 --> 00:09:11,676 Come on in. 186 00:09:13,636 --> 00:09:15,346 Please, sit. 187 00:09:16,889 --> 00:09:17,974 -Yeah, thanks. -Oh. 188 00:09:18,057 --> 00:09:19,183 [chuckles nervously] 189 00:09:19,809 --> 00:09:21,894 Is everything okay with Sam? 190 00:09:21,978 --> 00:09:24,397 Oh, yes. It's fine. 191 00:09:24,480 --> 00:09:25,773 I just, um... 192 00:09:29,193 --> 00:09:31,529 Sam said you spoke to him about dating. 193 00:09:31,612 --> 00:09:32,446 [chuckles] 194 00:09:32,530 --> 00:09:34,824 He mentioned wanting a girlfriend, so I thought... 195 00:09:34,907 --> 00:09:36,701 I appreciate you're trying to help, 196 00:09:36,784 --> 00:09:40,621 but all the things that make my son's everyday life difficult... 197 00:09:40,705 --> 00:09:44,208 like reading social cues, exchanging small talk... 198 00:09:44,292 --> 00:09:46,961 all the things I've helped him navigate his entire life, 199 00:09:47,044 --> 00:09:48,421 are magnified in dating. 200 00:09:49,422 --> 00:09:50,256 Um... 201 00:09:50,965 --> 00:09:55,011 Dating is almost entirely nonverbal communication, 202 00:09:55,094 --> 00:09:57,179 and Sam's the most literal person I know. 203 00:09:57,847 --> 00:10:00,516 Yeah, and there are strategies that I could teach him. 204 00:10:00,600 --> 00:10:01,601 Are there? 205 00:10:03,102 --> 00:10:05,771 Are there strategies for when you get your heart broken? 206 00:10:07,773 --> 00:10:09,567 Sam is doing really well. 207 00:10:10,151 --> 00:10:12,153 I mean, we're 32 days into his senior year, 208 00:10:12,236 --> 00:10:14,488 and he hasn't had a meltdown yet, so... 209 00:10:15,489 --> 00:10:16,741 I don't want to push him. 210 00:10:16,824 --> 00:10:20,119 I mean, relationships are hard enough for neurotypicals. 211 00:10:20,202 --> 00:10:22,622 I don't want to put that kind of pressure on my son. 212 00:10:23,289 --> 00:10:26,667 There was a study done in Toronto a few years ago. 213 00:10:27,376 --> 00:10:30,630 Researchers found that only nine percent 214 00:10:30,713 --> 00:10:32,548 of adults with autism are married, 215 00:10:32,632 --> 00:10:34,508 not because they lack the desire, 216 00:10:34,592 --> 00:10:36,677 but because they don't know how to do it. 217 00:10:36,761 --> 00:10:40,014 Your son has the same desire to be loved that we all do. 218 00:10:40,640 --> 00:10:41,891 Why shouldn't he pursue it? 219 00:10:43,392 --> 00:10:45,019 He's not ready yet. 220 00:10:45,686 --> 00:10:48,022 You know, a lot of parents have a hard time 221 00:10:48,105 --> 00:10:49,899 as their kids become more independent. 222 00:10:49,982 --> 00:10:52,693 It's completely natural. 223 00:10:52,777 --> 00:10:54,945 So if you ever need someone to talk to, 224 00:10:55,029 --> 00:10:57,156 I can refer you to one of my colleagues. 225 00:10:57,239 --> 00:10:58,783 Oh, wow. No, um... 226 00:10:59,909 --> 00:11:01,369 [exhales] 227 00:11:01,452 --> 00:11:02,870 That won't be necessary. 228 00:11:04,580 --> 00:11:05,706 Thank you for your time. 229 00:11:08,250 --> 00:11:10,461 That's okay. I got it. Thanks so much. 230 00:11:10,544 --> 00:11:11,796 -Have a great day. -Okay. 231 00:11:18,094 --> 00:11:20,096 [Sam] When I'm learning something new, 232 00:11:20,179 --> 00:11:24,058 like how to get infinity lives in a video game or date girls, 233 00:11:24,141 --> 00:11:25,559 I do a lot of research. 234 00:11:25,643 --> 00:11:26,560 I like research. 235 00:11:26,644 --> 00:11:28,020 Insult them. 236 00:11:28,104 --> 00:11:31,565 Something like, "Baby, those some serious bug eyes you got." 237 00:11:31,649 --> 00:11:32,483 [chuckles] 238 00:11:32,566 --> 00:11:34,360 -Trust me, brother... -Bug eyes? 239 00:11:34,443 --> 00:11:36,404 ...quickest way to get a chick on your dick. 240 00:11:37,863 --> 00:11:40,241 [Sam] I examine as many sources as possible. 241 00:11:40,324 --> 00:11:42,243 Yo, yo, mamacita. 242 00:11:42,952 --> 00:11:44,537 Is that a phone in your back pocket? 243 00:11:45,329 --> 00:11:46,872 'Cause that ass is calling to me. 244 00:11:48,833 --> 00:11:50,376 And I ask questions. 245 00:11:50,459 --> 00:11:52,420 Just listen to what they say. 246 00:11:52,503 --> 00:11:54,839 Don't bring up seals or penguins or whatever. 247 00:11:54,922 --> 00:11:56,674 And don't stare at their boobs. 248 00:11:56,757 --> 00:11:57,883 Wait, slow down. 249 00:11:57,967 --> 00:12:01,178 I'm still on the no penguins part. What if she likes penguins? 250 00:12:01,846 --> 00:12:03,055 Just assume she doesn't. 251 00:12:04,890 --> 00:12:07,518 The trick is knowing when to put my research to use. 252 00:12:07,601 --> 00:12:09,186 I'm not great at picking up signals. 253 00:12:11,063 --> 00:12:13,482 Yo, Sammy. Red over there is making eyes. 254 00:12:14,066 --> 00:12:15,818 -What? -That chick. 255 00:12:15,901 --> 00:12:17,737 Bubble Butt by the monitors. 256 00:12:19,530 --> 00:12:20,698 What about her? 257 00:12:20,781 --> 00:12:22,575 Dude, she's smiling right at you. 258 00:12:24,285 --> 00:12:25,119 Oh. 259 00:12:25,745 --> 00:12:26,579 So? 260 00:12:27,163 --> 00:12:29,248 -Smile back. -Really? 261 00:12:34,837 --> 00:12:35,713 [Inhales sharply] 262 00:12:38,382 --> 00:12:39,717 Wow. 263 00:12:39,800 --> 00:12:41,677 You scared her away from across the store. 264 00:12:42,470 --> 00:12:43,804 Impressive range, dude. 265 00:12:48,350 --> 00:12:49,602 [laughing] 266 00:12:51,187 --> 00:12:52,688 [camera shutter clicking] 267 00:12:58,486 --> 00:12:59,987 [laughing] 268 00:13:02,114 --> 00:13:03,073 Oh, no. 269 00:13:03,157 --> 00:13:06,285 I'm sure whoever did this just feels terrible. 270 00:13:06,368 --> 00:13:07,244 [laughing] 271 00:13:08,996 --> 00:13:09,830 Bailey. 272 00:13:11,749 --> 00:13:12,875 [all gasp] 273 00:13:19,798 --> 00:13:22,218 I don't get it. You're not even friends with Beth. 274 00:13:22,301 --> 00:13:24,303 So? You don't have to be friends to do what's right. 275 00:13:24,595 --> 00:13:27,765 Sweetie, hitting someone's face is never right. 276 00:13:27,848 --> 00:13:30,935 Of course you don't get it. You were the one picking on the fat kids. 277 00:13:31,018 --> 00:13:32,353 I had a pudgy friend. 278 00:13:32,436 --> 00:13:36,398 Besides, Bailey Bennet is a lovely girl, and she did not deserve to get punched. 279 00:13:36,482 --> 00:13:37,733 Bailey Bennet is a twat. 280 00:13:37,816 --> 00:13:39,235 Casey Gardener, language. 281 00:13:39,318 --> 00:13:41,612 Sometimes a word or phrase gets stuck in my head, 282 00:13:41,695 --> 00:13:45,282 like on on a loop, and it just plays over and over 283 00:13:45,366 --> 00:13:46,575 and over and over. 284 00:13:46,659 --> 00:13:48,619 Twat. Twat. 285 00:13:48,911 --> 00:13:51,622 Twat, twat, twat, twat, twat, twat, twat... 286 00:13:51,705 --> 00:13:54,542 -You got suspended? -[Casey] You didn't waste any time. 287 00:13:54,625 --> 00:13:57,253 -You're gonna miss practice. -They said I could practice. 288 00:13:57,336 --> 00:13:58,629 -Twat, twat. -[man] That's good. 289 00:13:58,712 --> 00:14:02,466 -At least she's not gonna miss practice. -She punched a pretty girl in the face! 290 00:14:02,550 --> 00:14:04,260 [Casey] Why does it matter she's pretty? 291 00:14:04,343 --> 00:14:06,428 Twat. Twat. 292 00:14:06,512 --> 00:14:07,805 Twat. 293 00:14:07,888 --> 00:14:10,975 Twat, twat, twat, twat, twat, twat, twat. 294 00:14:11,058 --> 00:14:12,393 You're grounded. 295 00:14:12,476 --> 00:14:14,812 All right. That seems fair. I'm gonna go for a run. 296 00:14:14,895 --> 00:14:16,605 Can I run when I'm grounded, warden? 297 00:14:17,273 --> 00:14:18,899 I'm done. You deal with her. 298 00:14:19,859 --> 00:14:20,776 Go ahead. 299 00:14:22,027 --> 00:14:24,446 -Awesome. -Great. Now I'm the bad guy again. 300 00:14:24,530 --> 00:14:27,408 Casey and I are cool. You're always gonna be the bad guy with her. 301 00:14:28,868 --> 00:14:32,371 [Glass Animals' "Black Mambo" plays] 302 00:14:32,454 --> 00:14:34,540 ♪ Leopards laze each ♪ 303 00:14:35,291 --> 00:14:37,293 ♪ On plush pillows ♪ 304 00:14:37,376 --> 00:14:41,297 ♪ Paperback dreams In their deep doze ♪ 305 00:14:41,380 --> 00:14:44,091 [screams] 306 00:14:56,103 --> 00:14:58,689 Hey, Casey! I brought you a chocolate cake. 307 00:14:58,772 --> 00:15:00,441 I make amazing cakes. 308 00:15:00,524 --> 00:15:02,318 I won three bake-offs at my church. 309 00:15:03,193 --> 00:15:05,696 This is my brother Evan. He drove me here. 310 00:15:05,779 --> 00:15:07,406 -Hey. -Hey. 311 00:15:07,489 --> 00:15:10,242 Okay. Thanks for the cake. 312 00:15:10,326 --> 00:15:12,161 Thank you for today. 313 00:15:13,329 --> 00:15:14,163 -Twat! -Sam! 314 00:15:14,246 --> 00:15:15,831 -Jesus! -Um, hello. 315 00:15:15,915 --> 00:15:17,207 What is wrong with him? 316 00:15:17,291 --> 00:15:19,376 Nothing's wrong with him. Get away from him. 317 00:15:21,253 --> 00:15:23,547 It's cool. I got it. 318 00:15:24,465 --> 00:15:25,549 All right, bye. 319 00:15:27,509 --> 00:15:29,720 You forgot your chocolate cake! 320 00:15:29,803 --> 00:15:31,388 I'll just leave it on the porch. 321 00:15:32,348 --> 00:15:33,641 You're such an asshole. 322 00:15:35,184 --> 00:15:37,061 My sister doesn't let anyone beat me up... 323 00:15:41,982 --> 00:15:43,609 Got to do it four times, right? 324 00:15:43,692 --> 00:15:44,693 Ow! 325 00:15:44,818 --> 00:15:46,487 ...except herself. 326 00:15:49,573 --> 00:15:51,116 So, how's your week? 327 00:15:51,200 --> 00:15:52,701 Well, I still don't have a date. 328 00:15:52,785 --> 00:15:54,662 I scared a girl off from across the room, 329 00:15:54,745 --> 00:15:56,830 and we had meat loaf twice, and I hate meat loaf. 330 00:15:56,914 --> 00:15:57,790 How? 331 00:15:57,873 --> 00:15:59,541 My mom just made it in the oven. 332 00:15:59,625 --> 00:16:02,086 [chuckles] I mean, how did you scare her away? 333 00:16:02,169 --> 00:16:05,422 I don't know. I've been wondering and wondering and wondering. 334 00:16:05,506 --> 00:16:08,050 Okay. Pretend I'm her. What'd you do? 335 00:16:08,926 --> 00:16:11,387 I just smiled at her like this. 336 00:16:12,638 --> 00:16:13,555 Ah. 337 00:16:14,223 --> 00:16:15,599 I read about it online. 338 00:16:17,518 --> 00:16:20,688 "Making eye contact and smiling are step one for flirting." 339 00:16:20,771 --> 00:16:21,939 That's what I did. Look. 340 00:16:24,817 --> 00:16:26,735 "Insults equal chick on dick." 341 00:16:26,819 --> 00:16:28,696 Not that part. The eye contact part. 342 00:16:28,779 --> 00:16:31,782 Right, but we should get to that at some point. 343 00:16:32,950 --> 00:16:34,535 Anyways, the problem is 344 00:16:34,618 --> 00:16:38,497 you're crossing the line from flirty to creepy. 345 00:16:38,580 --> 00:16:41,125 When you make eye contact, you have to look away a bit. 346 00:16:41,208 --> 00:16:45,004 But how can I make eye contact and look away? 347 00:16:45,087 --> 00:16:47,297 I mean, I'm not a mantis shrimp. 348 00:16:47,381 --> 00:16:48,590 -[chuckles] -All right. 349 00:16:48,674 --> 00:16:51,969 Okay, you make eye contact... 350 00:16:52,803 --> 00:16:53,929 glance away... 351 00:16:54,596 --> 00:16:56,223 make eye contact again. 352 00:16:57,391 --> 00:16:58,809 Otherwise, it can seem scary. 353 00:16:58,892 --> 00:17:01,687 -Hold on. Let me write this down. -Okay. 354 00:17:03,105 --> 00:17:04,773 Now, the smile. 355 00:17:06,400 --> 00:17:09,194 You need to turn that down, like, 70%. 356 00:17:09,278 --> 00:17:11,947 -70% smaller? -At least. 357 00:17:15,075 --> 00:17:16,326 Try no teeth? 358 00:17:18,495 --> 00:17:20,998 Yeah! That's the one. That's perfect. 359 00:17:24,460 --> 00:17:26,795 They didn't taste purple, but they were purple carrots. 360 00:17:26,879 --> 00:17:29,548 -[laughs] -It's a new kind of carrot, right? 361 00:17:29,631 --> 00:17:31,759 It tasted weird, but it was good. 362 00:17:31,842 --> 00:17:35,721 Okay, don't look, but there's a couple on my right 363 00:17:35,804 --> 00:17:39,266 that's on possibly the worst first date ever. 364 00:17:39,349 --> 00:17:41,143 -[whispering] I said don't look! -These two? 365 00:17:41,810 --> 00:17:44,646 She just asked him if he wanted children. 366 00:17:44,730 --> 00:17:48,442 -They haven't even ordered appetizers. -God. There's no coming back from that. 367 00:17:48,525 --> 00:17:50,778 -We should tell them what they're in for. -No. 368 00:17:53,072 --> 00:17:57,159 You know, there is a small chance that you're right. 369 00:17:57,242 --> 00:17:58,202 Yeah? 370 00:17:58,285 --> 00:18:00,579 -A night out was a good idea. -Just a small chance? 371 00:18:00,662 --> 00:18:01,747 Yeah. 372 00:18:02,498 --> 00:18:03,749 I'm even wearing... 373 00:18:04,416 --> 00:18:06,585 -[whispering] a thong. -[whispering] You are? 374 00:18:06,668 --> 00:18:07,503 Me, too. 375 00:18:07,586 --> 00:18:08,962 [both laugh] 376 00:18:09,046 --> 00:18:13,467 -How's yours? Mine's really uncomfortable. -I feel good. Holds everything in place. 377 00:18:14,426 --> 00:18:15,969 [laughs] 378 00:18:16,053 --> 00:18:16,929 See, this is nice. 379 00:18:17,012 --> 00:18:18,097 Mm. 380 00:18:18,597 --> 00:18:20,182 -We needed this. -Mm-hmm. 381 00:18:22,559 --> 00:18:23,602 We did. 382 00:18:25,479 --> 00:18:28,273 It's just hard for me to relax sometimes. 383 00:18:28,357 --> 00:18:29,191 [groans] 384 00:18:29,274 --> 00:18:32,736 -I get so worried about the kids and... -I know. But everything's good. 385 00:18:32,820 --> 00:18:34,655 The kids are great. Everything's fine. 386 00:18:35,989 --> 00:18:38,700 -The kids are great? -Oh, come on. Here we go. 387 00:18:39,660 --> 00:18:42,830 No, I just want to hear why you think the kids are so great. 388 00:18:42,913 --> 00:18:44,790 -Why are you getting upset? -I'm not. 389 00:18:44,873 --> 00:18:46,834 You're implying that I worry over nothing. 390 00:18:46,917 --> 00:18:49,378 Well... I mean, sometimes, you do. 391 00:18:50,671 --> 00:18:53,841 I mean, who cares? Sam wants to date. That's good. That's a good thing. 392 00:18:53,966 --> 00:18:55,884 He's 18. It'd be weird if he didn't want to date. 393 00:18:55,968 --> 00:18:59,012 Because, Doug, it's not just dating. 394 00:18:59,096 --> 00:19:01,306 First it's dating, and then he's graduating, 395 00:19:01,390 --> 00:19:03,433 and then he's moving out into the world. 396 00:19:03,517 --> 00:19:05,561 We can't protect him, and that's terrifying. 397 00:19:05,644 --> 00:19:07,020 That's what we want for him. 398 00:19:07,104 --> 00:19:08,313 There's a lot we want 399 00:19:08,397 --> 00:19:10,524 -that aren't possible for him. -How do you know? 400 00:19:10,607 --> 00:19:13,152 I'm the one that's been with him for these last 18 years. 401 00:19:13,235 --> 00:19:15,946 You've never been close to him. You don't even try. 402 00:19:16,029 --> 00:19:19,283 I mean, honestly, there is times I think you don't even like him. 403 00:19:21,785 --> 00:19:22,911 That's what you think? 404 00:19:24,496 --> 00:19:25,956 I love our son. 405 00:19:27,207 --> 00:19:31,461 I always have. Has it been hard to connect with him? Yeah, it has been. 406 00:19:32,004 --> 00:19:34,548 I thought he'd be more like me or like you. 407 00:19:34,631 --> 00:19:37,885 He's not like either one of us or anyone else I've ever met. 408 00:19:38,802 --> 00:19:39,678 -I know. -Yeah. 409 00:19:39,761 --> 00:19:42,097 You remember his ninth birthday? 410 00:19:42,181 --> 00:19:43,140 He wanted an igloo. 411 00:19:43,223 --> 00:19:45,267 -And what did I do? -You built it. 412 00:19:45,350 --> 00:19:48,103 Yeah, I spent 19 hours hauling and stacking 413 00:19:48,187 --> 00:19:50,230 fricking ice blocks into the backyard 414 00:19:50,314 --> 00:19:52,482 just so my son would notice I was there. 415 00:19:53,192 --> 00:19:54,109 So he would like me. 416 00:19:54,193 --> 00:19:56,195 And he wouldn't even go inside because... 417 00:19:56,278 --> 00:19:58,488 the ice blocks weren't lined up precisely. 418 00:19:58,572 --> 00:20:00,908 -Okay. -You're not the only one in the family 419 00:20:00,991 --> 00:20:02,492 who has an autistic kid, Elsa. 420 00:20:04,494 --> 00:20:05,996 Can I get you anything else? 421 00:20:06,079 --> 00:20:08,540 -No. Thank you. -No, thank you. 422 00:20:11,001 --> 00:20:13,003 [knocking on door] 423 00:20:13,086 --> 00:20:14,296 Not it. 424 00:20:14,379 --> 00:20:15,964 [man speaking indistinctly on TV] 425 00:20:16,048 --> 00:20:17,799 [knocking continues] 426 00:20:20,177 --> 00:20:21,220 Hey! 427 00:20:25,057 --> 00:20:25,891 Hi. 428 00:20:27,184 --> 00:20:30,270 I just came to get Beth's cake pan back. 429 00:20:30,354 --> 00:20:31,772 Okay. 430 00:20:32,356 --> 00:20:33,941 I could've brought it to school. 431 00:20:34,608 --> 00:20:35,442 Weird. 432 00:20:35,525 --> 00:20:37,152 Should I come in or, um... 433 00:20:37,236 --> 00:20:38,654 I'll just hang here. 434 00:20:40,822 --> 00:20:41,990 Here you go. 435 00:20:42,532 --> 00:20:45,410 It's been washed twice... once by me and once by my mom. 436 00:20:45,494 --> 00:20:47,371 -'Cause that's my mom. -Thanks. 437 00:20:48,163 --> 00:20:51,166 That was nice of you to punch that girl in the face for my sister. 438 00:20:51,250 --> 00:20:53,126 Oh, yeah, you're welcome. 439 00:20:53,835 --> 00:20:56,421 Hey, do you want to go out sometime? 440 00:20:58,840 --> 00:21:00,133 Go out? 441 00:21:00,884 --> 00:21:03,720 -With you? -Yeah. That's what I was thinking. 442 00:21:03,804 --> 00:21:06,139 I'm sorry. I don't really date. 443 00:21:06,223 --> 00:21:08,141 It's just not a distraction I need. 444 00:21:08,225 --> 00:21:10,894 I'm gonna get a track scholarship and get out of this town. 445 00:21:10,978 --> 00:21:12,771 Oh. Well, fair enough. 446 00:21:13,480 --> 00:21:16,984 I'm probably gonna change your mind about that dating thing, though. 447 00:21:17,067 --> 00:21:18,735 You know, I kind of grow on people. 448 00:21:18,819 --> 00:21:21,238 Stop the presses! A girl wants to go out with me. 449 00:21:21,863 --> 00:21:23,198 Oh. Hello. 450 00:21:24,950 --> 00:21:26,159 I got to go. 451 00:21:32,749 --> 00:21:35,502 Her name's Bree, B-r-e-e. 452 00:21:35,585 --> 00:21:37,838 And she likes something called vegan taquitos, 453 00:21:37,921 --> 00:21:40,299 and she has a cat named Simba. I don't love cats. 454 00:21:40,382 --> 00:21:43,218 -Do you think she'd get rid of it? -Do not ask her that. 455 00:21:44,344 --> 00:21:46,388 -Where are you gonna go? -I thought about it. 456 00:21:46,471 --> 00:21:49,933 -I'll take her to Techtropolis. -Take a date to an appliance store? 457 00:21:50,017 --> 00:21:52,394 -I have to go where I'm comfortable. -Oh, my God. 458 00:21:52,477 --> 00:21:56,189 It'll be fun. We can sample different TVs and see which one has the best clarity. 459 00:21:56,273 --> 00:21:58,150 I know, but we'll see if she gets it right. 460 00:21:58,233 --> 00:21:59,943 -[chimes] -She wants to go for coffee. 461 00:22:01,028 --> 00:22:02,863 -Coffee? -Mm-hmm. 462 00:22:03,697 --> 00:22:05,615 Who goes out for coffee? 463 00:22:05,699 --> 00:22:08,994 Hey. Relax. This is gonna be okay. 464 00:22:09,828 --> 00:22:11,330 No, it's not. 465 00:22:12,748 --> 00:22:14,207 Yeah, no, it's not. 466 00:22:15,417 --> 00:22:18,712 [Sam] Being in a loud, unfamiliar place can be hard for me. 467 00:22:18,795 --> 00:22:21,798 I can't think. I can't listen. I just freeze. 468 00:22:22,382 --> 00:22:24,301 But... don't worry. 469 00:22:24,384 --> 00:22:25,343 I have a strategy. 470 00:22:26,595 --> 00:22:27,971 Floor here's kind of sticky. 471 00:22:30,057 --> 00:22:32,809 Did you know that some frogs have pads on their feet 472 00:22:32,893 --> 00:22:36,188 that secrete a thin layer of mucus so to help them climb things? 473 00:22:37,439 --> 00:22:38,982 What's with the headphones? 474 00:22:39,775 --> 00:22:42,986 Oh. I just turned on the noise-cancellation feature. 475 00:22:43,070 --> 00:22:45,405 Need a little protection from the racket. 476 00:22:46,406 --> 00:22:48,658 -[pop music playing] -[customers chattering] 477 00:22:52,329 --> 00:22:55,082 Baby, those are some serious bug eyes you got. 478 00:22:55,665 --> 00:22:56,500 What? 479 00:23:00,462 --> 00:23:02,047 Mamacita... 480 00:23:02,589 --> 00:23:03,590 your ass is on the phone? 481 00:23:06,635 --> 00:23:09,221 I don't like cats. Would you be willing to get rid of Simba? 482 00:23:13,975 --> 00:23:15,602 Yo, I'm clocking out. 483 00:23:15,685 --> 00:23:18,063 -Can you see my nipples through here? -Yes. 484 00:23:18,146 --> 00:23:20,774 Good. I was standing in front of the air conditioner. 485 00:23:20,857 --> 00:23:22,526 So, how's it going with the ladies? 486 00:23:23,401 --> 00:23:25,862 I'm not dating anymore. It's too difficult. 487 00:23:25,946 --> 00:23:29,950 You have to guess what people are thinking, and not just people, girls. 488 00:23:30,033 --> 00:23:32,160 -They think I'm weird. -You are weird. So what? 489 00:23:32,244 --> 00:23:35,455 The French eat snails. That's weird, but you know they're getting laid. 490 00:23:35,539 --> 00:23:37,040 Hey, look. Red's back. 491 00:23:38,166 --> 00:23:39,417 Ask her out. 492 00:23:39,501 --> 00:23:40,877 Go, go, go! 493 00:23:40,961 --> 00:23:41,962 Go! 494 00:23:42,421 --> 00:23:43,547 Go. 495 00:23:54,933 --> 00:23:56,643 Laser or inkjet? 496 00:23:56,726 --> 00:23:58,228 Oh, uh... 497 00:23:58,311 --> 00:24:01,189 I don't know. I didn't really do any research. 498 00:24:01,273 --> 00:24:04,234 Well, lucky for you, I love research, 499 00:24:04,317 --> 00:24:05,944 and I know all about these printers. 500 00:24:06,027 --> 00:24:07,237 You should get this one. 501 00:24:07,320 --> 00:24:09,781 The other ones are garbage and should be set on fire. 502 00:24:09,865 --> 00:24:11,867 Wow. Thanks. 503 00:24:11,950 --> 00:24:13,702 That's actually really helpful. 504 00:24:13,785 --> 00:24:15,996 [mouthing] 505 00:24:32,429 --> 00:24:34,472 Would you like to go on a date with me? 506 00:24:34,556 --> 00:24:37,726 That's the reason I came over here, not to help you with printers. 507 00:24:38,685 --> 00:24:39,603 [chuckles] 508 00:24:42,564 --> 00:24:43,398 Okay. 509 00:24:44,941 --> 00:24:46,151 [funk music plays] ♪ Ow! ♪ 510 00:24:46,234 --> 00:24:47,652 ♪ Gold rush ♪ 511 00:24:49,237 --> 00:24:52,032 ♪ Hey, I got... uh! ♪ 512 00:24:53,992 --> 00:24:55,243 ♪ I got to dig for it ♪ 513 00:24:55,327 --> 00:24:56,369 He got a date! 514 00:24:56,453 --> 00:24:57,787 ♪ Hey, hey, hey ♪ 515 00:24:58,872 --> 00:24:59,706 [Elsa] Hey, hon. 516 00:24:59,789 --> 00:25:01,541 -You going to hockey? -Yeah. 517 00:25:01,625 --> 00:25:03,126 I shouldn't be home late. 518 00:25:04,252 --> 00:25:05,462 Honey. 519 00:25:06,254 --> 00:25:08,965 I'm sorry about dinner the other night. 520 00:25:09,049 --> 00:25:12,093 I'm just stressed, and... it was a really nice idea. 521 00:25:12,177 --> 00:25:14,471 It's all right. Oh, listen, I... 522 00:25:14,554 --> 00:25:15,889 I got you something. 523 00:25:16,556 --> 00:25:17,807 You love to dance, right? 524 00:25:18,725 --> 00:25:22,103 You should check this out, have some fun, maybe make a friend. 525 00:25:22,187 --> 00:25:23,396 You look good. 526 00:25:23,480 --> 00:25:24,689 Sheesh! 527 00:25:24,773 --> 00:25:27,317 I don't even know if I'll be able to dance anymore. 528 00:25:27,400 --> 00:25:29,861 ♪ Mamacita say, "Oh, oh" ♪ 529 00:25:29,945 --> 00:25:32,489 ♪ Mi amigo say, "Oh, Oh" ♪ 530 00:25:32,572 --> 00:25:35,033 ♪ Everybody say, "Oh, oh" ♪ 531 00:25:35,116 --> 00:25:37,244 ♪ We got your drummer there, "Oh, oh" ♪ 532 00:25:37,327 --> 00:25:39,704 ♪ Mamacita say, "Oh, oh" ♪ 533 00:25:39,788 --> 00:25:41,539 ♪ Mi amigo say, "Oh, Oh" ♪ 534 00:25:41,623 --> 00:25:44,834 Thank you so much. That was so much fun! 535 00:25:44,918 --> 00:25:47,671 Oh, you're welcome! You're great. You're a dancer, huh? 536 00:25:47,754 --> 00:25:49,881 What? Oh, no. I mean, forever ago. 537 00:25:49,965 --> 00:25:53,093 I was the captain of the dance squad in college. 538 00:25:53,176 --> 00:25:54,469 -Oh. -Yeah. 539 00:25:54,552 --> 00:25:56,805 We ranked nationally three times, almost four. 540 00:25:56,888 --> 00:25:59,015 We were robbed, but whatever. I'm over it. 541 00:25:59,766 --> 00:26:02,811 Hey, a few of us are gonna go grab a drink. You want to come? 542 00:26:02,894 --> 00:26:05,480 Um, uh... 543 00:26:06,648 --> 00:26:07,857 Sure. 544 00:26:07,941 --> 00:26:09,609 [laughing] 545 00:26:09,693 --> 00:26:11,278 This is so much fun. 546 00:26:12,904 --> 00:26:15,198 I feel like I'm back in college again. 547 00:26:15,282 --> 00:26:16,199 [laughs] 548 00:26:19,160 --> 00:26:20,203 Want another drink? 549 00:26:20,912 --> 00:26:23,290 Um... no, thanks. 550 00:26:23,373 --> 00:26:26,543 I think I've escaped my real life long enough. 551 00:26:27,877 --> 00:26:32,215 I don't know why I said that. I love my life. I love it. Love it. 552 00:26:32,299 --> 00:26:33,633 This one's on me. 553 00:26:40,307 --> 00:26:44,060 When you told me we were having dinner in the Techtropolis parking lot, 554 00:26:44,144 --> 00:26:45,645 I thought you were kidding. 555 00:26:46,479 --> 00:26:47,522 No, I don't do that. 556 00:26:48,356 --> 00:26:49,649 Oh. 557 00:26:49,733 --> 00:26:51,151 -You're very pretty. -Thanks. 558 00:26:51,234 --> 00:26:53,737 I always thought my nose was too big. 559 00:26:53,820 --> 00:26:56,990 A little, but the rest of your face makes up for it. 560 00:26:58,241 --> 00:26:59,659 [laughs] 561 00:26:59,743 --> 00:27:00,827 Wow. 562 00:27:00,910 --> 00:27:02,203 You're really honest, huh? 563 00:27:02,287 --> 00:27:03,955 Yes. Is that bad? 564 00:27:05,123 --> 00:27:06,958 No. It's refreshing. 565 00:27:07,042 --> 00:27:08,960 -Tell me more. -Okay. 566 00:27:09,044 --> 00:27:11,713 I'm really good at fixing computers, 567 00:27:11,796 --> 00:27:14,174 and biology is my favorite subject in school. 568 00:27:14,257 --> 00:27:15,383 Girls don't like me. 569 00:27:15,467 --> 00:27:18,803 I love penguins, but I'm not supposed to talk about it. 570 00:27:18,887 --> 00:27:20,388 I've never had sex before, 571 00:27:20,472 --> 00:27:22,807 and I have a pet turtle named Edison, 572 00:27:22,891 --> 00:27:25,602 who's named after Thomas Edison, but he's not as smart. 573 00:27:25,685 --> 00:27:26,895 [laughs] 574 00:27:28,438 --> 00:27:29,647 You're hilarious. 575 00:27:29,731 --> 00:27:30,774 Thank you. 576 00:27:33,735 --> 00:27:34,903 You never had sex? 577 00:27:35,487 --> 00:27:36,404 No. 578 00:27:38,823 --> 00:27:39,657 Want to? 579 00:27:42,410 --> 00:27:43,661 [footsteps approaching] 580 00:27:43,745 --> 00:27:45,413 -[breathing heavily] -Hey. 581 00:27:46,414 --> 00:27:48,166 [panting] 582 00:27:50,710 --> 00:27:51,628 What are you doing? 583 00:27:51,711 --> 00:27:55,298 I just came to see if you changed your mind about going out with me. 584 00:27:56,758 --> 00:27:57,801 I brought you this. 585 00:27:57,884 --> 00:28:00,095 What is up with your family bringing me sweets? 586 00:28:00,970 --> 00:28:02,430 I don't know. I like you. 587 00:28:03,306 --> 00:28:04,140 Why? 588 00:28:04,224 --> 00:28:05,517 Uh... 589 00:28:07,143 --> 00:28:11,147 'Cause most people don't stand up to assholes, but you do. 590 00:28:25,495 --> 00:28:26,955 -Then there was Mel. -Mm-hmm. 591 00:28:27,038 --> 00:28:29,290 That was my longest relationship, like a month. 592 00:28:29,374 --> 00:28:30,417 Wow. A month. 593 00:28:30,500 --> 00:28:32,043 Stop it. [chuckles] 594 00:28:32,711 --> 00:28:35,130 Why am I telling you this? Let's talk about something else. 595 00:28:35,213 --> 00:28:37,424 What? No. I want to hear about your month with Mel. 596 00:28:37,507 --> 00:28:38,883 [chuckles] 597 00:28:40,885 --> 00:28:43,680 I don't know. I like what I do, I guess. 598 00:28:43,763 --> 00:28:46,057 -Mm-hmm. -I don't mean my job necessarily. 599 00:28:46,141 --> 00:28:47,559 Just my life. 600 00:28:48,351 --> 00:28:51,062 I wake up when I want. I do what I want. I go where I want. 601 00:28:51,146 --> 00:28:53,606 Last week, I wanted to go to the mountains, so I did. 602 00:28:53,690 --> 00:28:56,109 I didn't have to plan anything or run it by anyone. 603 00:28:56,192 --> 00:28:58,862 I mean, that may be weird, but I just... 604 00:28:58,945 --> 00:29:00,029 I need that. 605 00:29:02,407 --> 00:29:03,491 [chuckles] 606 00:29:04,284 --> 00:29:06,202 Is that totally lame or what? 607 00:29:08,496 --> 00:29:10,165 No, that sounds great. 608 00:29:10,248 --> 00:29:12,834 I mean, you're a little old for that, but, you know? 609 00:29:13,334 --> 00:29:15,420 -Thanks. -[both laugh] 610 00:29:16,045 --> 00:29:18,923 I think, if it were really, really cold, 611 00:29:19,007 --> 00:29:20,592 like Antarctica cold, 612 00:29:20,675 --> 00:29:23,178 the coldness would feel like a sound. 613 00:29:23,261 --> 00:29:26,014 The cold would be so intense that you could hear it. 614 00:29:26,097 --> 00:29:27,515 I would like to hear that sound. 615 00:29:27,599 --> 00:29:29,392 [Milo Greene's "Cutty Love" plays] 616 00:29:37,275 --> 00:29:40,445 ♪ I slip softly through ♪ 617 00:29:41,029 --> 00:29:44,365 Never been in a dorm. This isn't what I thought it would smell like. 618 00:29:45,200 --> 00:29:47,827 Yeah. My roommate makes a lot of ramen. 619 00:29:47,911 --> 00:29:51,331 [Sam] Sometimes, being touched makes me... jumpy. 620 00:29:51,414 --> 00:29:54,209 It has to be hard touch, uh, pressure. 621 00:29:54,292 --> 00:29:56,377 I like pressure. I don't like soft. 622 00:29:56,461 --> 00:29:58,880 Is that okay to say on the first date? 623 00:29:58,963 --> 00:30:00,840 ♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh ♪ 624 00:30:03,510 --> 00:30:05,053 ♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh ♪ 625 00:30:05,136 --> 00:30:10,350 ♪ It'll burn, burn, burn, burn, burn ♪ 626 00:30:10,433 --> 00:30:12,644 ♪ Burn us both alive ♪ 627 00:30:17,106 --> 00:30:17,941 Aah! 628 00:30:18,024 --> 00:30:19,484 What the hell? 629 00:30:21,319 --> 00:30:23,321 I'm sorry. I'm sorry. 630 00:30:23,404 --> 00:30:24,864 What is wrong with you? 631 00:30:24,948 --> 00:30:28,618 Seriously, are you retarded? Is there something wrong with your brain? 632 00:30:31,913 --> 00:30:33,957 Get the hell out of my room. 633 00:30:38,503 --> 00:30:40,380 Sometimes, when I feel most alone, 634 00:30:40,463 --> 00:30:42,507 I imagine myself in that ice... 635 00:30:42,590 --> 00:30:45,760 frozen, unable to move, but safe. 636 00:30:49,180 --> 00:30:50,682 [horn blares] 637 00:30:55,270 --> 00:30:59,190 I thought technical school would be dumb, but I actually really like it. 638 00:30:59,274 --> 00:31:00,400 [chuckles] 639 00:31:00,483 --> 00:31:03,820 Oh, hey. There he is, the "twat" guy. 640 00:31:04,696 --> 00:31:05,864 What's wrong? 641 00:31:07,448 --> 00:31:09,075 -[Sam sniffling] -Sam? 642 00:31:20,378 --> 00:31:22,422 Here. Careful, it's hot. 643 00:31:24,299 --> 00:31:26,759 [Evan] Hey, dude, don't feel too bad. 644 00:31:26,843 --> 00:31:28,678 The first time's always a shit show. 645 00:31:29,512 --> 00:31:33,975 My first time was on a Ping-Pong table, and it collapsed like two seconds in. 646 00:31:34,058 --> 00:31:36,853 My balls got all wrapped up in the net. Really freaked her out. 647 00:31:38,021 --> 00:31:40,315 How about you, Case? Was it crappy your first time? 648 00:31:40,398 --> 00:31:41,774 Okay, gross. 649 00:31:41,858 --> 00:31:44,485 I'm not discussing my sex life in front of my brother. 650 00:31:44,569 --> 00:31:46,654 Not that there's anything to discuss. 651 00:31:49,532 --> 00:31:51,242 Sometimes, I wish I was normal. 652 00:31:51,326 --> 00:31:52,660 Well, dude... 653 00:31:53,286 --> 00:31:54,370 nobody's normal. 654 00:31:59,292 --> 00:32:01,252 [breathes deeply] 655 00:32:20,355 --> 00:32:23,358 In fourth grade, my biology teacher, Mr. Durocher-- 656 00:32:23,441 --> 00:32:27,403 he was fat-- said penguins are similar to humans... 657 00:32:28,696 --> 00:32:32,408 because once they copulate, they stay with the same partner for life. 658 00:32:33,159 --> 00:32:35,453 So, what about you? What's your life like? 659 00:32:35,536 --> 00:32:37,538 -Mm. -[chuckles] 660 00:32:38,081 --> 00:32:41,000 Well, ironically, when I was in college, 661 00:32:41,084 --> 00:32:43,211 I also dated a girl for about a month. 662 00:32:43,294 --> 00:32:44,629 [laughs] 663 00:32:44,712 --> 00:32:46,506 Mm. [laughs] 664 00:32:46,589 --> 00:32:49,258 And I am a hairdresser. 665 00:32:49,342 --> 00:32:50,593 Yours is too short. 666 00:32:50,677 --> 00:32:51,678 [chuckles] 667 00:32:52,470 --> 00:32:55,014 You're funny. And kind of mean. 668 00:32:55,098 --> 00:32:56,933 [both chuckle] 669 00:32:57,892 --> 00:33:00,144 Yeah, I'm always mean to people I like. 670 00:33:00,770 --> 00:33:02,939 I think it's 'cause I expect so much. 671 00:33:03,815 --> 00:33:05,108 So you like me. 672 00:33:05,191 --> 00:33:06,818 [both laugh] 673 00:33:08,027 --> 00:33:10,071 [Sam] But according to the 2010 census, 674 00:33:10,154 --> 00:33:12,365 which is the most recent data I could acquire, 675 00:33:12,448 --> 00:33:15,034 49% of marriages end in divorce. 676 00:33:17,662 --> 00:33:19,414 Sorry. Um... 677 00:33:21,666 --> 00:33:23,501 You know, um... 678 00:33:23,584 --> 00:33:26,421 if you turn the heat up on your dishwasher, 679 00:33:26,504 --> 00:33:29,882 you won't have those ugly white spots on the glasses. Just so... 680 00:33:42,353 --> 00:33:43,813 [Sam] Penguins mate for life. 681 00:33:45,648 --> 00:33:48,317 So penguins aren't like people. 682 00:33:53,031 --> 00:33:54,490 They're better. 683 00:34:15,553 --> 00:34:17,680 I wonder if they ever get tired of swimming. 684 00:34:18,181 --> 00:34:19,307 They don't. 685 00:34:23,644 --> 00:34:26,981 You know, Casey... told me what happened... 686 00:34:28,357 --> 00:34:29,650 with the girl. 687 00:34:31,861 --> 00:34:33,279 I wish I had a time machine. 688 00:34:33,362 --> 00:34:36,699 I would go back in time and never ask her out 689 00:34:36,783 --> 00:34:39,243 and also maybe visit the Middle Ages because... 690 00:34:39,327 --> 00:34:40,578 jousting. 691 00:34:41,621 --> 00:34:45,208 Look, I don't know about some of that stuff you're into, 692 00:34:45,291 --> 00:34:48,377 but girls I know about, okay? And they're tough. 693 00:34:49,670 --> 00:34:52,799 I'm proud of you for putting yourself out there. 694 00:34:53,800 --> 00:34:58,096 I should never go on another date. I should just stay away from girls. 695 00:34:58,971 --> 00:35:01,849 Sam, look, you got some stuff to figure out, but you will. 696 00:35:03,643 --> 00:35:04,894 You're a good guy. 697 00:35:04,977 --> 00:35:07,188 You're sensitive, and you're funny, 698 00:35:07,271 --> 00:35:10,274 and the woman who ends up with you will be lucky. 699 00:35:11,651 --> 00:35:13,319 You want to marry your best friend. 700 00:35:14,654 --> 00:35:15,530 Edison? 701 00:35:15,613 --> 00:35:16,572 No. 702 00:35:17,198 --> 00:35:18,491 Not your turtle, Sam. 703 00:35:18,574 --> 00:35:20,993 You said my best friend. He's my best friend. 704 00:35:22,078 --> 00:35:23,121 I just... 705 00:35:24,038 --> 00:35:28,292 I meant you want to be with someone who appreciates you for what you are. 706 00:35:29,127 --> 00:35:32,797 You know, who loves all the little odd things about you... 707 00:35:33,506 --> 00:35:34,590 who gets you. 708 00:35:37,969 --> 00:35:39,762 Penguins mate for life, you know? 709 00:35:41,389 --> 00:35:42,515 Yeah? 710 00:35:43,850 --> 00:35:45,184 Well, good for them. 711 00:35:46,853 --> 00:35:50,565 So, how are you feeling now? Still ready to give up on dating? 712 00:35:50,648 --> 00:35:53,317 I don't know. My dad said to find someone 713 00:35:53,401 --> 00:35:56,571 who appreciates me for what I am, which is a weirdo. 714 00:35:57,530 --> 00:35:58,614 We talked a lot. 715 00:35:58,698 --> 00:36:00,158 Glad to hear it. 716 00:36:00,241 --> 00:36:03,411 And that makes sense. You're easy to talk to. 717 00:36:07,206 --> 00:36:08,291 Yeah. 718 00:36:09,041 --> 00:36:10,376 You're easy to talk to, too, 719 00:36:10,459 --> 00:36:13,671 which is good 'cause, otherwise, you'd go broke. 720 00:36:13,754 --> 00:36:14,964 [chuckles] 721 00:36:18,259 --> 00:36:21,179 [Sam] When a male gentoo penguin chooses a mate, 722 00:36:21,262 --> 00:36:22,346 he makes an offering. 723 00:36:23,139 --> 00:36:24,682 He finds a pebble, 724 00:36:24,765 --> 00:36:27,101 often taking the time to find the smoothest one, 725 00:36:27,185 --> 00:36:29,020 and presents it to the female. 726 00:36:29,854 --> 00:36:32,690 I'm a human, so it would be weird to offer a pebble. 727 00:36:33,357 --> 00:36:34,233 Julia. 728 00:36:36,277 --> 00:36:39,197 -I've decided I want to give you my brain. -[gasps] Really? 729 00:36:39,280 --> 00:36:40,448 After I die. 730 00:36:41,115 --> 00:36:42,950 Oh, Sam, that's so great. 731 00:36:45,369 --> 00:36:46,871 You're gonna help so many people. 732 00:36:46,954 --> 00:36:48,581 [chuckles] 733 00:36:48,664 --> 00:36:50,291 Good smile. 734 00:36:50,374 --> 00:36:51,751 It's not creepy at all. 735 00:36:51,834 --> 00:36:53,252 I've been practicing. 736 00:36:53,336 --> 00:36:54,503 Yeah, I can tell. 737 00:36:56,839 --> 00:36:59,425 [Sam] If the female places the pebble in her nest, 738 00:36:59,508 --> 00:37:01,219 she accepts him as a mate. 739 00:37:01,302 --> 00:37:03,846 And as you already know, penguins mate for life. 51132

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.