Original subtitles

Life is like hitchhiking, with no set destination.

The driving is left to others, and to fate.

It won't turn out as you'd planned.

Some boys kissing, some girls dancing, men and women

You are so fine and you'll be mine, love me, okay?

l was waiting for a long, long time, seeking fresh blood

l've been lovin', never let you leave

l'm crazy about you

Baby, baby kiss me please, hold me

l know you'll know what you'll see

Pinky pinky love!

Idiots, aren't you?

Baggage check time!

what're you doin'?!

--No! No! Give it back! --Confiscated!

And this, too. Confiscated!

what the heck is this?

All right, all right, bring 'em out! Confiscated!

You got one too, huh? Bam, confiscated!

And one more, oh, yes, confiscated! And another, eh?

You, huh? You've got one, too?

--Nooo!! --Confiscated! Yes, indeed.

--Fuck you! --Suck it! Piss off!

All right, all right. Looky here. Confiscated!

Teacher! This is far too cruel!

what was that, Keiko Furano?

And who would you be giving that to, hm?

Uh, don't look at me...

"Three Months Earlier"

Keiko said she wants to date you.

There's no way you'd turn her down, right?

None of the other guys in class are any good.

But you barely make the cut, yeah?

Is that a compliment?

You have a girlfriend?

No...

Then it's settled.

Bleh!

Mizushima. You're quite popular, eh?

"Inspection of Personal Belongings"

Please stop it!

You too, Keiko Furano?! I don't care if your dad is vice principal,

you'll get no special treatment from me!

Papa!!

what is it? Keiko?!

Keiko! Keiko!

Keiko?

Keiko!

Keiko, what is it? Keiko!

Hey, Keiko!

Keiko! Hey, Keiko!

Papa!

--Keiko! --Mr. Uchiyama is way out of control! Do something!

There he is: Vice Principal Kenji Furano.

Teacher of chemistry, physics and biology,

doting parent and no-good instructor.

Um, Mr. Uchiyama?

Personal items unrelated to class cannot be brought on campus.

Isn't that policy, Mr. Vice Principal?!

Yes, as you say.

So, Keiko, I'll buy you some more chocolates.

That teacher's so scary! He gets bent out of shape and won't let up!

I can hear you!

Uh, this is--

It rang, didn't it? It's break time. If you'll excuse me.

Keiko, do your best.

Papa!

It is my responsibility to take these items,

which are unrelated to class, and throw them in the trash!

Done!

"My Sentiment will Reach to the Bone"

"Aim for the wrist Cut Rally" "Victory" "wrist Cut Club"

Everyone... How did our chocolates being confiscated make you feel?

Give them back! Give them back!

Kiriko, how about you, ma'am?

I want to return.

To where?

To the earth.

You all want to cut too, right?

we wanna cut!

well, suddenly cutting is no good for the body,

so let's do some warm-up exercises first.

Okay.

Arm out. Begin wrist exercises. And...

One, two, three, four, five, six, seven,

eig... Ugh, I'm tired, so let's stop already.

So much better.

All right, let's give a few shouts for party unity.

Okay! we'll cut them no slack!

we'll cut our arms!

--Cut our salt intake! --Cut our wrists!

Great job, everyone. It won't be much longer till the rally,

so do your best not to cut too much, and make sure you leave a pulse!

Okay!

Here we go! Hold your cutter and cut your arm, go!

Hold your cutter and cut your arm!

--All right, light cut! --Light cut!

--Deep cut! --Deep cut!

--Cut no corners! --Cut no corners!

--Cut no slack! --Cut no slack!

--Be aggressive! --Be aggressive!

Cover me!

Jugon Mizushima.

You walk fast, don't you?

Um... who are you?

I'm your classmate, Monami Arukado.

The transfer student.

"Monami Arukado"

"Monami Arukado" "January 23"

A transfer student, this close to the end of the school year...

...and a beautiful girl at that.

Normally, she'd stand right out, but Arukado didn't stand out at all.

No one would take notice when she was there, or even when she wasn't.

She herself said she often doesn't come to class.

Because the sky is clear and it's too bright outside.

By the way, is that weird cape part of your old school uniform?

It's a keepsake from my mother. It really comes in handy.

You have a minute?

It's a chocolate. will you accept it?

You still have yours.

what, the inspection? I think he didn't find it

because I don't really stand out, and because it's so small.

I guess so.

I'm not very brave, so this small chocolate was the best I could do.

But it looks like that was a good thing.

Yeah.

So, I think this was God's way of saying I had to give it to you.

Anyway, take it, okay?

It's great.

I feel like I've tasted this before...

That's right. It's like when I've done kitchen work and cut myself

with a knife, licking my finger without thinking...

This is blood?!

what is this? what is it, what is it? what is it?!

"Super Dark Girls' Club" "Are you guys Japanese or what?!" "Get as black as they come!"

Dude, Dumbo, where do you go to get so dark?

In Shibuya. At the Tsutaya. In--

Oh, you want some gum? It's green gum.

Fuck!!

I told you guys, you should only chew black gum! Remember that.

Okay, just calm down. why don't we drink some coffee?

I'll go buy us some lattes, okay? Lattes!

Fuck!!

I told you guys, you should only drink black coffee!

You bitches think you can go putting white stuff in there?!

You're as bad as Michael Jackson, trying to add white to it. Right?!

what the hell is that guy, with his "ow, ow"?!

You all are black, okay? Black!

Like, I know we're the "Super Dark" Club, but this ain't tanned at all, right?

It's goin' too far.

Black power!

we're super dark girls, that's what we all swore

when we came here, right? Right, everyone?

You! Have you forgotten what Obama said?

Change, change, change! Change, change, change!

Change! Change! Change!

Yes, we can! Yes, we can! Yes, we can! Yes, we can!

Yes, we can... Yes, we can...

Our color is ultra tan! Mother, brother man!

Of crosswords, I am a fan! Yo, that shit looks like flan!

Yes, we can! Yes, we can! Yes, we can!

Yes, we can! Yes... Aaah, Joyner!

Ma'am! She totally left...

Good morning, Mizushima.

You've been out for three days. Are you all right?

You look like you're still not better yet.

what did you want to talk about?

Yeah. Uh, I don't even know where to start.

I'm just glad. It looks there was no rejection.

Genetically, you're a match.

Hold on. what are you talking about?

The chocolate, of course.

Yeah, the chocolate. That red cream! what was it?

Tell me the recipe.

Oh, that? That was... my blood.

I said it. I'm embarrassed!

"Embarrassed" doesn't begin to cover it!

why would you do something disgusting like that?

Because... I fell for you, Jugon. And I want you to live your life with me.

I don't understand. I... Ever since I ate that, I've felt weird!

Can we talk about this later? The sun is so bright today.

I don't want to be outside.

Mizushima. what were you talking to that transfer student about?

Keiko! Uh, about the inside of a chocolate.

Chocolate?

That transfer student gave you some chocolate?!

Though not even Keiko gave you any?!

Mizushima, did you eat it?

Um...

Did you eat it?

well?!

I want to bite... I want to drink blood!

This is bad!

Mizushima? what is it?

Uh, nothing. Nothing at all.

You said this box cutter has a good edge.

Today is our wrist-cutting anniversary...

--Ma'am! --what?

The three of us got you a present.

It'll just be a box cutter. I have one.

No, it's completely different. Look.

--Spinach! --And it's organic.

Because you're a little anemic.

Thank you! Thank you!

Ma'am! Um, I want to see that thing you always do.

Kiriko, ma'am, I want to see you cut yourself a little.

The cut, cut, cut! wrist cut! Cut, cut, cut! wrist cut!

Count me in!

Vertical cut! Horizontal cut! Sloppy cut!

Violin, violin!

I'll be the Christian of the wrist-cutting world!

I'm gonna cut it!

Um, I'm extremely dizzy. And I have a headache.

Oh, dear.

Shall I give you some medicine? Or would you like to get in bed?

This is Mrs. Midori, pheromone-laden head of the nurse's office.

Many of the male students are apparently crazy about her.

This way.

Haven't you started wanting to drink blood yet?

You're here?

Very good, very good.

what is?! wanting to drink blood, that's just like...

A vampire?

I'm the same. As in, I am a vampire.

And now that you ate that chocolate with my blood in it,

you're a half vampire.

If you drink more, you can be a full-blooded vampire.

I don't want to!

Go ahead.

Looks delicious...

Mizushima! what's the meaning of this?!

Uh, well...

And you, transferring here and stealing peoples' boyfriends...

where do you get off?!

Jugon, this is your type? She doesn't seem very nice, does she?

You say that right in front of her?

what?!

well, that was interrupted. Let's continue this next time, Jugon.

"Continue"?

That's our new custodian.

I think the old one suddenly disappeared

about a month ago while on the job.

what a crusty old fart!

The witless vice principal, the no-good teacher, is but a disguise!

In truth, I am the genius scientist of our age, Kenji Furano!

And I am the successor to that great scientist, Dr. Frankenstein!

One day, I shall solve the riddle of life!

Kenta, you're happy to be used as a test subject for a genius, yes?

whoa, what a shocker! Midori, this one's still alive!

My job is to reanimate dead bodies.

If you don't hurry and kill him, I'll be in a pickle!

Very well, at once.

I wonder if I can do it!

I wonder if he can do it.

Finished!

Midori, what do you think?

It's quite skillful!

Skillful only counts in tea and flower arranging!

This guy's dead! He's not coming back to life!

So boring!

"Definitely No Stalkers!"

I heard that every night, Arukado goes out on the town

and gets with older guys for money.

what was that?!

Was it lies? Whistle-blowing? Slander?

In any case, it was coming from Keiko.

--You looked into this? --I did.

Are you doing that?

No, I'm not.

It'd be a good idea if you did.

But it didn't last long.

Mr. Uchiyama went missing.

Class is about to start. Not that I care, especially.

Is it about Mr. Uchiyama?

How did you know?

You're wondering if he learned my secret,

so I drank his blood and killed him.

No, that's not what I'm saying.

well, that's what happened!

Really?

Hey, it's dangerous for a girl to be out here alone at this hour.

Say, let's go somewhere. Aren't you hungry or something?

I'm hungry.

Okay! what do you want to eat?

An old guy's blood.

Look! This would've been kinda bad, right?

Hey, that's way too scary!

That old guy drank too much. It even got me drunk!

Good evening, teacher. Cruising around town is bad,

but being a Peeping Tom isn't very good, either.

Look over there. Right now, Igor is burning Mr. Uchiyama's body.

"Igor"? The new custodian guy? You know him?

Not so much know him as, he's my errand boy? Or servant.

Maybe more like my slave.

Slave?

So you killed the old custodian, too, then Igor burned the body?

--Bingo! --It's not bingo at all!

Look, it's convenient to have a manservant around, right?

Though mostly he just gets rid of corpses.

Anyway, a custodian's job was just right to get him into the school.

More importantly, what do you think?

Jugon, will you live your life with me?

It felt like time had stopped.

My name is Afro-rika. My real name is Hanako Tanaka.

I put on special makeup before going to school every day.

Why was I born Japanese?

I wish I'd been born into the most splendid race on Earth.

I want to take on the world.

And I will be the fastest super tanned girl to run the 100m dash.

The world is waiting for me.

I will fly from Japan out onto the world stage!

No way!

Bastard!

Dammit!

Hey!

Gotcha!

No! No, no, no!

Stop...

what do you mean, live my life with you?

I mean, drink my blood and become a vampire like me.

You can even stay looking exactly as you are now. Not bad, huh?

I get the feeling it's plenty bad...

And after a girl got up her courage, put all her heart into a chocolate

and gave you a confession?

I'd like a straight answer.

Uh, it wasn't your heart you put into the chocolate; it was blood.

So this is the blood drop in question, eh?

H-Hey now, Midori! You're being too erotic.

Ah. My apologies.

I'm telling you, that's one habit you should quit.

what, this? You want this?

This?

This is...

...amazing!

I'm sure this will be the deciding factor in my experiments!

All right everyone, you ready? Uh, Zo Yuen.

Say it aloud, Zo Yuen.

--Zo Yuen. --Zo Yuen.

That's right, Zo Yuen. In Japan, Juon.

Nice, awesome. And you and you and you, you're awesome.

They even made a sequel, and it was remade in America as The Grudge.

Going to English now. Are we good?

Okay, repeat after me: The Grudge.

The Grudge.

Okay, this is a Chinese lesson, so let's go back to Chinese characters.

Uh... Okay, this...

Both of them skipping?

Isn't that kinda suspicious?

Yeah.

...from director Kenji Murakami. This was a good one.

This is unforgivable!

Is there some problem with my lesson?

If you interrupt, you'll be cursed.

Papa?

--By the way, Midori... --Yes?

where did you come by this?

The floor of the nurse's office.

I think it's from Monami Arukado of class 2-A.

Monami Arukado?

Monami?

She's a transfer student. She doesn't stand out much.

She spends a lot of class time in the nurse's office.

Shall I nab her?

Oh, Midori, I am so fond of you!

Just who is this Monami Arukado?

I want to dissect her!

"My Sentiment will Reach to the Bone"

"Challenger Kiriko Hosoude" "Champion Hitomi Kudou"

--wrist cut! --Kiriko! Good luck!

"winner 13th Nationwide wrist Cut Rally"

well? what do you say?

No! who'd want to be a vampire?

Oh? well, you know my secret, so you have to die, too.

Uh, I'll be one. Please make me a vampire.

I'm so happy!

well, before someone butts in again, right?

what is this? Where is it?

who's that? Is it your mom?

My mom ran from a pursuing vampire hunter, and ended up here in Japan.

So that's you?

I'm right here.

But the vampire hunter wouldn't let my mom escape.

Huh? Francis Xavier was a hunter?

I will protect my happiness!

Prepare yourself, devil spawn!

There is no place in this world you can hide!

Idiot.

Since then, I've lived my life on my own.

How old are you?

I haven't kept count.

More importantly, how does it feel?

what the...?!

It's all right. You'll grow in new ones.

Let me see. Maybe a little bit longer...

Go ahead.

Mizushima! Get away from that woman!

That woman's a monster! I saw her blood. It was alive and moving!

That's not human blood!

well, I'm a vampire.

Vampire? Mizushima, you'll be killed, too!

No way. I wouldn't kill someone I like.

Anyway, Jugon is a vampire, too.

See?

--That's how it looks. --what the heck?! That's not possible!

This is all your fault!

You just don't learn.

Keiko!

--Keiko! --Keiko!

well, she already knew my secret. This saves me a bit of work.

Don't call that "work"!

Oh. She said someone had my blood, right? I should have asked her who.

That's not the problem here!

But that was the problem.

This is...

Incredible! It's too incredible!

Could this mean... my research is now essentially complete?!

Sir, terrible news! It's Keiko!

what's happened to Keiko?

Ah! There are students there!

They're coming this way!

That could be a bit of a pain.

what the heck?

See? It's pretty handy, huh?

I'm sorry for your loss.

Keiko...

Sir?

Yes! Yes, I say! At last, I can slice up Keiko's body!

It's the sort of pleasure any man with a daughter dreams of!

what bliss! I can slash my beloved daughter's body all to pieces!

Sir, wouldn't that be somewhat ill-advised?

Shut up! Commoners have no business commenting on the work of geniuses!

I'm sorry.

Components... There aren't enough components.

Get some more parts right now!

And so, Tokyo High School

was driven to the depths of terror:

the bizarre serial murders had begun.

Kiriko Hosoude, head of the Wrist Cut Club, which had only just won

the Nationwide Wrist Cut Rally, had strengthened her winning arms

such that no blade could slice them. But they were both chopped off.

Afro-rika, the quasi-black head of the Super Dark Club,

had both her prized legs chopped off.

Mao Gu Ban, the Chinese teacher, was Chinese,

so he had iron lungs capable of breathing in atmospheres

with high concentrations of car exhaust.

Those lungs could even breathe in ten cigarettes at once...

...but they were chopped out.

And the culprit was the ever-popular lady of the nurse's office,

who had thrown off her mask to reveal a psycho killer:

Mrs. Midori!

"Anti-Killing!"

wait, dammit!

But the Association to Save Tokyo High School Abductees was formed,

and together with the student council police,

they put an end to this bizarre serial murderer.

Hey. Let us borrow you a second.

Wait. I'm being abducted, again?

"Caution: Flammable"

"To: Monami Arukado Come to campus tonight! From: the revived Keiko"

Monami!

You took your time! I thought you weren't coming.

Truthfully, I didn't really feel up to it.

Hey!

So you've finally realized which of us

is more suited to be Mizushima's girlfriend?

I wouldn't go that far.

You still intend to go up against me?

Transfer student... You should stay out of sight and out of the way!

That's what I'm trying to do. Right, Jugon?

Uh, don't ask me.

words are lost on you, aren't they?!

You're dealing with the winning arms of the wrist Cut Club now!

And the legs of the Super Dark Club!

Keiko!

Monami!

Don't go thinking you can beat me like before!

well done.

Now we're talking.

Thus began the battle for love

between Vampire Girl and Frankenstein Girl.

Meaning, what, my feelings just get ignored?

There's no way those dull things could pierce the arms

of the head of the wrist Cut Club!

Igor! Don't worry about me! Just help Jugon!

I won't let you get away!

wait up, dammit!

we have to help Monami.

wait just there! Leave this to the Magistrate of Calculation!

Mr. Furano? what's with that outfit?

I shall dissect Monami Arukado. She's an invaluable subject,

one that will further my research even more!

Huh? Mrs. Midori?!

In a battle of monsters beyond imagination,

what could a mere high school student like me hope to do?

Monami!

You're no good without your cloak, are you?

I'm gonna rip it!

This is the end.

Does that Chinese car exhaust taste good?

Fall! Fall!

Fall straight to hell!

Hey, Monami! wake up! You can't sleep now!

Jugon...

Hang in there! You can't lose!

Hey, dammit! Vampire Girl! what do you need...?

Blood? would blood help?

C'mon, open your mouth.

Hey down there! Quit being all clingy!

Go. Give it your all.

Thank you. Jugon, I love you.

Die!!

You poor idiot. Injuring me like this...

Bye bye.

That was incredible, Monami. The best.

I... love you, too.

I was waiting for you. Do the flapping thing again.

Looks like it won't work.

why not?

Oh, jeez. So we both die?

Idiot. Two may be impossible, but one might not be.

I will protect my happiness.

Monami!

Did you think a mere custodian could beat the vice principal?

Hey, what are you doing? Hurry up and get down!

Easier said than done. I'm feeling quite anemic...

It felt like time had stopped.

Monami was falling. Monami would die. This was no joke!

She couldn't do this to my body and then leave me on my own!

I couldn't stand staying like this for hundreds of years, all alone.

That's what I thought... and then I realized.

Since then, I've lived my life on my own.

--Monami, that was exactly how you'd lived your life. --It's a chocolate. will you accept it?

I'd had no idea how you felt

--when you gave me that chocolate. --Because I fell for you.

And I want you to live your life with me.

And after a girl got up her courage, put all her heart into a chocolate

and gave you a confession?

I'd like a straight answer.

Now, I understand a little...

...how sad hundreds of years alone must be. How forlorn it is.

I'm sure it must be a feeling of desperation.

Igor...

Let's go!

Um, where to?

who knows? Anywhere's fine, right?

I guess so.

In any case, I won't let you be alone anymore, Monami.

You've got me now.

And I've got you.

we'll always be together.

Igor's dead and all... Even if I make someone a vampire,

after about 1 00 years, they suddenly age and rot away.

I'm sure the same thing will happen to you.

well, I'll be counting on you till then, Jugon!

Hey, wait a minute...

Does that mean I'm just Igor's replacement? I'm a slave?!

Um...

what?

Franken Advanced Composite Lifeform!

Um...!

Yes, what?

How many were there before me?

I haven't kept count.

Some boys kissing, some girls dancing, men and women

You are so fine and you'll be mine, love me, okay?

I was waiting for a long, long time, seeking fresh blood

I've been lovin', never let you leave

I'm crazy about you

Baby, baby kiss me please, hold me

I know you'll know what you'll see

Pinky pinky love!

La la la la, la la la la, you know I love you

La la la la, la la la la, I know you love me

Baby, baby kiss me please, hold me

I know you'll know what you'll see

Pinky pinky love!