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>> TOSH.O FEATURES VIDEOS FROM
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THE INTERNET AND IS INTENDED FOR
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A MATURE AUDIENCE.
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ENJOY.
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[LAUGHING]
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>> OH!
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!
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>> OH!
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[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
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>> OH.
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YOU THINK THAT'S GROSS CASEY AN
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THENY KILLED HER BABY.
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WELCOME TO TOSH.O COMING TO YOU
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FROM THE CLOUD.
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TONIGHT ON THE SHOW WE HAVE A
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TITLE FIGHT.
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MY PERSONAL TRAINER YELLS AT ME
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AND I SHOW YOU THE MOST
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UNFORTUNATE DOMAIN NAMES OF THE
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WEEK.
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LET'S SEE WHY THEY WON'T USE THE
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TUB AGAIN.
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I DON'T SEE WHAT IS SO HARD
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ABOUT CHILD BIRTH.
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IT LOOKS SUPER RELAXING.
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HONEY, THE GAME IS ALMOST OVER
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IS IT A BOY OR A GIRL.
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DO HIGHLIGHTS WORK ON PLACENTA
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STAINS?
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THAT VAGINA SHOULD BE GOOD AS
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GOOD AS TOMORROW.
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THE MIRACLE OF LIFE WILL REALLY
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CLOG THE DRAIN.
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THAT TUB NODES A GARBAGE
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DISPOSAL.
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I RECENTLY WELCOMED A NEW MEMBER
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TO MY FAMILY.
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>> OH, NO.
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IT'S BROWN.
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MY DAD IS GOING TO KILL ME.
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>> THAT'S MY NEWEST PUPPY.
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SHE'S ONLY NINE WEEKS OLD AND
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ALREADY HAS HER SAG CARD.
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HOW DOES THAT FEEL, STARVING
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ACTORS?
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>> WHAT DOES A SOLDIER GET WHEN
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HIS FEELINGS ARE HURT?
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>> A PURPLE HEART.
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>> [BEEP] YOU.
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[BEEP]
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>> HEY, GUYS.
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ONE AT A TIME, PLEASE.
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[BEEP]
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(YELLING )
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>> THAT'S WHAT IT FEELS LIKE
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WHEN I WATCH "THE VIEW."
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APPARENTLY THE ARMY DOESN'T
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ISSUE CHILL PILLS.
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>> THIS IS WHY THEY MAKE YOU
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TURN OFF YOUR ELECTRONICS DURING
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A FLIGHT.
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>> OH!
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>> THAT CAN HAPPEN WHEN YOU FLY
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A LAWN CHAIR GLUE TODAY FAN.
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I THINK JOHN BENJAMIN'S VAN JUST
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KILLED THAT GUY.
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OH, FOLKS WE HAVE REACHED OUR
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CRUISING ALTITUDE.
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I'M GOING TO TURN OFF THIS
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FASTEN SEATBELT SIGN.
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I BET YOU THINK I WILL MAKE
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ACIST JOKES ABOUT THE NEXTR
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VIDEO.
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>> ONE, TWO, THREE!
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>> THAT WILL BE AN INTENSE FRUIT
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SALAD.
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NOTHING SMART EVER HAPPENS ON A
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DIRT ROAD.
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>> THAT MIGHT BE THE UGLIEST
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GROUP OF PEOPLE I HAVE EVER
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SEEN.
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I'M PRETTY CONFIDENT HIS
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CONCUSSION WILL GO UNDIAGNOSED.
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THE POWER OF CHRIST CELLS YOU TO
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WATCH THIS NEXT VIDEO.
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(YELLING )
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>> I BET SLEAZE ALSO A DEMON IN
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THE SACK.
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SOMEONE SHOULD TELL THE PREACHER
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SHE MIGHT BE JUST ON HER PERIOD.
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I HEAR WHEN SHE'S NOT POSSESSED
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BY THE DEVIL SHE'S A BITCH.
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WHAT'S NEXT?
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(YELLING )
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>> WHAT THE HELL-O KITTY.
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LET'S DO WHAT WE DO BEST AND
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MAKE FUN OF ASIANS IN THIS
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WEEK'S BREAKDOWN.
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[ APPLAUSE ]
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>> THIS GAME IS CALLED
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BO-TAY-YOSHI.
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IT'S THE ONLY WATCHABLE SPORT
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LEFT.
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NOT SURE OF THE RULES BUT I
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ENJOY ANYTHING WITH A JAPANESE
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BOY ON A HUGE CHOPSTICK.
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IT'S ON LIKE HONG KONG.
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THE BLUE TEAM RUSHES IN LIKE A
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TSUNAMI.
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A 4.5-FOOT HIGH TSUNAMI.
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THIS IS THE BUKAKKE OF SPORTS.
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THOSE DUDES KEEP COMING AND
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COMING.
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SURE IS HARD TO KEEP AN EYE ON
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YOUR FAVORITE PLAYER IF YOU KNOW
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WHAT I MEAN.
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GOOD THING THEY PUT JOCK STRAPS
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ON THEIR HEADS WHEN THEY WENT
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KAMIKAZE.
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THE MOST DANGEROUS PART IS TO
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COME, WHEN EVERYONE DRIVES HOME.
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WE'RE WITNESSING THE MIRACLE ON
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RICE.
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TIME TO DOUSE THE COACH WITH
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SAKI.
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REMEMBER AT THE END OF THE DAY
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THEY'RE ALL ON THE YELLOW AND
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WHITE TEAM.
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THAT'S HOW YOU PLAY PEARL
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HARBOR.
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I'M GLAD AFLAC DIDN'T FIRE ME
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FOR MAKING TOO MANY JAPANESE
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JOKES.
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FOR THAT WE SAY ...
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(SPEAKING JAPANESE ."
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>> WE WILL BE RIGHT BACK BUT
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FIRST ROW, ROW, ROW YOUR BOAT,
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BITCH.
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>> THEY'RE BOTH STKRUFRPBG AS
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[BEEP].
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DRUNK AS [BEEP]
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>> HERE IT GOES.
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>> KNOCKED HIM OUT COLD.
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>> WHAT THE [BEEP] IS THAT.
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JR, JR.
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>> HE'S FINE, HE'S A SLEEP.
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HE'S WASTED.
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I DIDN'T WANT TO BOX MAN.
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LET GO!
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LET GO!
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LET GO!
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>> HE'S DOWN, FINE, FINE.
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HE'S COMING TOO.
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JR ...
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JR!
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>> HE'S FINE.
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>> GET THE [BEEP] UP.
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>> THE FIRST RULE OF FIGHT CLUB,
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PLEASE DON'T DIE IN MY MOM'S
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BASEMENT.
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THAT KNOCKOUT WAS BETTER THAN
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ANY PROFESSIONAL BOXING I HAVE
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SEEN IN TEN YEARS.
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BOXING IS THE MOST MANLIEST
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THING THAT REQUIRES A MAN TO BE
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GOOD AS JUMP ROPE.
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THE SWEET SCIENCE ISN'T AS GOOD
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AS IT USE TO BE, PROBABLY CAUSE
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I DON'T WANT TO SHELL OUT $60 TO
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WATCH TWO MEXICANS FIGHT WHEN I
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CAN DO THAT FOR FREE ANYWHERE IN
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LA.
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SORRY I'M NOT EXCITED ABOUT A
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SPORT WITH 90 GUYS AS CHAMPIONS.
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NOTHING CAN BE BETTER THAN
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FORMER GREATS.
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TYSON IS BUSY PLAYING WITH
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PIGEONS AND TATTOOING HIS FACE.
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GEORGE FOREMAN IS SCREWING TWO
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IRONS TOGETHER TO COOK HIS
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CHICKEN.
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AND MOHAMMAD ALI I BLAME YOU FOR
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WILL SMITH'S CAREER.
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NOW WE'RE STUCK WITH THE
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KLITSCHKO BOTHERS.
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YOU CAN'T TAKE WHITE FIGHTERS
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SERIOUSIOUSLY.
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NOW TRUE FIGHT FANS WANT TO
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WATCH SOMETHING JUST SHORT OF
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GAY SEX.
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THE RING GIRLS DISGUST ME.
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PUT CLOTHES ON AND HAVE RESPECT
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FOR YOURSELVES LADIES.
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JR GOT KNOCKED OUT BY A LUCKY
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PUNCH.
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BUT WE'RE GIVING HIM ANOTHER
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MATCH AT A TIGHT UNTIL THIS
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WEEK'S WEBBBBBB REMATCH.
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[ APPLAUSE ]
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>> YOU'RE ALL SET, JR.
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WHAT DO YOU DO FOR A LIVING?
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>> WORK IN THE COAL MINES.
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>> THE COAL MINES.
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>> YES.
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>> WHY DID YOU FLIGHT
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STPHUFRPBLGTS DON'T REMEMBER TOO
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MUCH OF THE FIGHT.
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>> IS THIS A REGULAR THING DO
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YOU HAVE BOXING MATCHES OFTEN?
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>> NO.
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>> DID HE GET A LUCKY PUNCH IN.
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>> YES.
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>> WHAT HAPPENED IN YOUR WORDS.
214
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>> A COUPLE OF GUYS CAME OVER,
215
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PLAYING BEER PONG.
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ONE THING LEAD TO ANOTHER.
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SOMEBODY WANTED TO BOX.
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WE PUT ON THE GLOVES AND I WAS
219
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ON THE GROUND.
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>> PAVEMENT OR CARPET?
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>> CONCRETE FLOOR.
222
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>> CONCRETE FLOOR.
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I'M HERE WITH BOSTON, THE
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CURRENT CHAMPION.
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WHAT DOES VICTORY TASTE LIKE.
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>> SWEET, A SWEET TASTE.
227
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>> WHO WANTED TO FIGHT.
228
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>> I DIDN'T BRING OUT THE GLOVES
229
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BUT JR AND I DECIDED TO SQUARE
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OFF.
231
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LAID DOWN THE GROUND RULES.
232
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YOU HAVE TO HAVE GROUND RULES.
233
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>> WHAT ARE THOSE?
234
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>> IF SOMEONE PUTS THEIR HANDS
235
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IN THE RULE THE FIGHT IS OVER.
236
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>> SOUNDS LIKE THE WORST
237
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SURRENDERING MOVE.
238
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>> YES.
239
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>> THAT'S A FREE SHOT TO THE
240
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HEAD.
241
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>> THAT WAS PROBABLY THE FIRST
242
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MISTAKE.
243
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THAT WAS THE ONLY GROUND RULE.
244
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I OPENED UP WITH AN INITIAL LEFT
245
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THAT TOOK OFF THE HEAD GIRL.
246
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I HAD THE RIGHT COCKED.
247
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>> COULDN'T UNCOCK IT.
248
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>> NO.
249
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I UNLOAD IT DID AND THAT WAS
250
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THAT.
251
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>> HOW LONG WERE YOU UNCONSCIOUS
252
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FOR?
253
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>> ABOUT THREE MINUTES.
254
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>> WHAT DID YOU DO WHEN YOU
255
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GAINED CONSCIOUSNESS THE VIDEO
256
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TURNED OFF.
257
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>> I WENT TO BED.
258
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>> THEY SAY THE BEST THING AFTER
259
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A CONCUSSION THE BEST THING TO
260
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DO IS SLEEP SOMEWHERE.
261
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>> HE DIDN'T WAKE UP.
262
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THAT GOT EVERYONE WORRIED.
263
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SO WE PUT HIM TO BED.
264
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>> ALRIGHT, WE JUST KILLED
265
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SOMEBODY.
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>> WHO YELLED THE FRIDAY QUOTE.
267
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>> THAT WAS MY BUDDY, SEAN.
268
00:10:24,433 --> 00:10:28,533
HE WAS STOKED WHEN JR OPENED HIS
269
00:10:28,533 --> 00:10:28,833
EYES.
270
00:10:28,833 --> 00:10:31,833
>> SO HE COULD SCREAM YOU GOT
271
00:10:31,833 --> 00:10:34,273
"KNOCKED THE [BEEP] OUT!"
272
00:10:34,267 --> 00:10:36,897
>> DID ANY PART OF YOU CREDIT
273
00:10:36,900 --> 00:10:37,670
PEEING ON HIM.
274
00:10:37,667 --> 00:10:38,997
>> I CREDITED IT.
275
00:10:39,000 --> 00:10:41,200
>> THAT WOULD OF BEEN ANOTHER
276
00:10:41,200 --> 00:10:42,430
LEVEL OF A GREAT MOVE.
277
00:10:42,433 --> 00:10:44,073
KNOCK HIM OUT AND PEON HIM.
278
00:10:44,067 --> 00:10:46,297
>> WHO IS FASTER YOU OR AUSTIN.
279
00:10:46,300 --> 00:10:47,130
>> AUSTIN.
280
00:10:47,133 --> 00:10:48,003
>>WHO IS STRONGER.
281
00:10:48,000 --> 00:10:50,730
>> I WOULD GIVE HIM A BETTER RUN
282
00:10:50,733 --> 00:10:51,833
FOR HIS MONEY?
283
00:10:51,833 --> 00:10:53,903
>> WHO IS A BETTER LOVER.
284
00:10:53,900 --> 00:10:54,670
>> PROBABLY ME MANY.
285
00:10:54,667 --> 00:10:56,197
>> THAT'S GOOD.
286
00:10:56,200 --> 00:10:57,870
PROBABLY NOT WHILE WE FIGHT BUT
287
00:10:57,867 --> 00:11:00,897
IN A WORST CASE SCENARIO YOU
288
00:11:00,900 --> 00:11:02,130
BANG HIS GIRLFRIEND.
289
00:11:02,133 --> 00:11:03,973
WHAT ARE YOU DOING FOR THE
290
00:11:03,967 --> 00:11:05,397
REMATCH TRAINING.
291
00:11:05,400 --> 00:11:07,270
>> DRINK BEER, SIT ON THE COUCH
292
00:11:07,267 --> 00:11:08,067
AND WATCH TV.
293
00:11:08,067 --> 00:11:11,667
>> WE WILL WORK ON YOUR CONCEPT,
294
00:11:11,667 --> 00:11:13,297
BOXING, AND THEN CROSS OUR
295
00:11:13,300 --> 00:11:20,470
FINGERS AND SEE WHAT HAPPENS.
296
00:11:20,467 --> 00:11:25,567
>> WELL FIGHT CLUB I GO BY DAN
297
00:11:25,567 --> 00:11:25,927
FLAMINCO.
298
00:11:25,933 --> 00:11:27,103
YOU CAN WIN DOWN HERE YOU CAN
299
00:11:27,100 --> 00:11:27,800
WIN ANYWHERE.
300
00:11:27,800 --> 00:11:31,530
ALL YOU HAVE TO DO, JR, IS BEAT
301
00:11:31,533 --> 00:11:33,573
OUR CURRENT CHAMP.
302
00:11:33,567 --> 00:11:36,767
ALL HAIL KING HIPPO.
303
00:11:36,767 --> 00:11:38,767
>> HE'S ROYALTY.
304
00:11:38,767 --> 00:11:40,897
>> I DON'T THINK HE'S IN MY
305
00:11:40,900 --> 00:11:41,670
WEIGHT CLASS.
306
00:11:41,667 --> 00:11:46,227
>> JUST WORK THE BODY.
307
00:11:48,700 --> 00:12:03,400
(VIDEO GAME NOISES )
308
00:12:03,400 --> 00:12:07,200
(VIDEO GAME NOISES )
309
00:12:07,200 --> 00:12:10,930
>> FABULOUS WIN, NOW LET'S WORK
310
00:12:10,933 --> 00:12:11,873
ON YOUR CARD YO.
311
00:12:11,867 --> 00:12:14,827
I HEAR THEY WANT TO BUILD A
312
00:12:14,833 --> 00:12:17,803
MOSQUE AT GROUND ZERO.
313
00:12:17,800 --> 00:12:18,770
THAT'S HORSE [BEEP].
314
00:12:18,767 --> 00:12:21,067
USE THAT AS MOTIVATION.
315
00:12:21,067 --> 00:12:22,827
DAN KING HERE PORE THE GREATEST
316
00:12:22,833 --> 00:12:23,673
FIGHT EVER.
317
00:12:23,667 --> 00:12:25,127
WE'RE AT THE WEIGHT IN.
318
00:12:25,133 --> 00:12:27,203
JR COMING IN AT 159.
319
00:12:27,200 --> 00:12:30,930
A LEAN MEAN FIGHTING MACHINE.
320
00:12:30,933 --> 00:12:31,703
WHOA!
321
00:12:31,700 --> 00:12:35,070
AND THE CHAMPION AUSTIN.
322
00:12:35,067 --> 00:12:43,727
LOOKS A LITTLE OUT OF SHAPE.
323
00:12:43,733 --> 00:12:45,203
170ISH.
324
00:12:45,200 --> 00:12:46,900
, 107ISH.
325
00:12:46,900 --> 00:12:49,430
ONLY IN AMERICA, ONLY IN AMERICA
326
00:12:49,433 --> 00:12:54,203
THE THRILL BETWEEN TWO VAN ILL
327
00:12:54,200 --> 00:12:54,930
AS.
328
00:12:54,933 --> 00:12:56,703
MARTIN LUTHER KING TOOK YOU TO
329
00:12:56,700 --> 00:12:57,470
THE MOUNTAIN KING.
330
00:12:57,467 --> 00:13:01,067
I WILL TAKE YOU TO THE BANK.
331
00:13:01,067 --> 00:13:02,227
TWO WHITE DOPES.
332
00:13:02,233 --> 00:13:05,873
>> GOOD EVENING WELCOME TO
333
00:13:05,867 --> 00:13:07,197
TOSH.O FIGHT NIGHT.
334
00:13:07,200 --> 00:13:09,630
FROM THE WEB REMATCH WE HAVE
335
00:13:09,633 --> 00:13:12,203
FROM THE GREAT STATE OF ILLINOIS
336
00:13:12,200 --> 00:13:14,530
THE BLACK LUNG HIMSELF, JR.
337
00:13:14,533 --> 00:13:17,173
WILL HE FIGHT THE CURRENT
338
00:13:17,167 --> 00:13:21,297
APARTMENT CHAMPION OF THE WORLD
339
00:13:21,300 --> 00:13:25,700
AUSTIN THE A INEBRIATED.
340
00:13:25,700 --> 00:13:28,570
TONIGHT YOU'RE SCHEDULED FOR ONE
341
00:13:28,567 --> 00:13:30,297
10-15 MINUTE ROUND.
342
00:13:30,300 --> 00:13:31,070
PACE YOURSELF.
343
00:13:31,067 --> 00:13:34,067
BEFORE WE GET STARTED LET'S
344
00:13:34,067 --> 00:13:35,897
APPRECIATE THE BEAUTY OF
345
00:13:35,900 --> 00:13:40,830
TONIGHT'S BARELY LEGAL RING BOY.
346
00:13:40,833 --> 00:13:44,333
>> IT'S GOING TO BE HARD TO
347
00:13:44,333 --> 00:13:46,373
FIGHT WITH A BONER.
348
00:13:46,367 --> 00:13:47,397
AM I RIGHT.
349
00:13:47,400 --> 00:13:48,770
LET'S GET THINGS STARTED.
350
00:13:48,767 --> 00:13:49,627
>> GOOD LUCK.
351
00:13:49,633 --> 00:13:52,903
>> ALRIGHT, FELLAS.
352
00:13:52,900 --> 00:13:54,630
KEEP IT CLEAN.
353
00:13:54,633 --> 00:13:55,873
TOUCH GLOVES AND WHEN YOU HEAR
354
00:13:55,867 --> 00:13:57,467
THE BELL COME OUT FIGHTING.
355
00:13:57,467 --> 00:14:02,067
>> GOOD LUCK.
356
00:14:02,067 --> 00:14:07,897
>> WIN OR LOSE [BEEP]
357
00:14:10,767 --> 00:14:13,227
>> CHAMPION OF THE WORLD.
358
00:14:13,233 --> 00:14:16,933
WHOA!
359
00:14:16,933 --> 00:14:20,173
>> AND THE WINNER IS ...
360
00:14:20,167 --> 00:14:23,167
RING BOY.
361
00:14:23,167 --> 00:14:28,527
>> AH, ONLY IN AMERICA.
362
00:14:28,533 --> 00:14:31,433
[ APPLAUSE ]
363
00:14:31,433 --> 00:14:33,673
>> THAT FIGHT MIGHT OF BEEN
364
00:14:33,667 --> 00:14:34,967
FIXED.
365
00:14:34,967 --> 00:14:38,197
BUT RING BOY SURE ISN'T.
366
00:14:38,200 --> 00:14:39,400
WE WILL BE RIGHT BACK.
367
00:14:39,400 --> 00:14:41,900
FIRST WE'RE PROUD TO ANNOUNCED A
368
00:14:41,900 --> 00:14:45,330
SUCCESSFUL CANNONBALL DOOKIE HAS
369
00:14:45,333 --> 00:14:46,903
BEEN CAPTURED ON FILM.
370
00:14:46,900 --> 00:14:51,330
>> CANNONBALL DOOKIE, TAKE ONE.
371
00:14:51,333 --> 00:14:54,973
GO!
372
00:15:03,233 --> 00:15:06,333
>> AHHH! [BEEP], [BEEP].
373
00:15:06,333 --> 00:15:09,203
GET THE [BEEP], [BEEP] OFF THE
374
00:15:09,200 --> 00:15:09,500
COUCH.
375
00:15:09,500 --> 00:15:10,670
GET THE [BEEP].
376
00:15:10,667 --> 00:15:15,327
LET [BEEP].
377
00:15:15,333 --> 00:15:17,433
[BEEP], [BEEP] IF I CAN DO IT
378
00:15:17,433 --> 00:15:19,073
ANYONE CAN [BEEP] DO IT.
379
00:15:19,067 --> 00:15:24,297
IT'S TIME [BEEP].
380
00:15:24,300 --> 00:15:25,370
I!
381
00:15:25,367 --> 00:15:26,867
[LAUGHING]
382
00:15:26,867 --> 00:15:29,527
>> THAT'S SOFT SPOKEN FELLA
383
00:15:29,533 --> 00:15:30,773
MAKES A GOOD POINT.
384
00:15:30,767 --> 00:15:33,067
IT'S NOT COOL TO BE FAT DURING
385
00:15:33,067 --> 00:15:33,627
THE SUMMER.
386
00:15:33,633 --> 00:15:36,203
I THOUGHT THIS PERFECT ASSESS
387
00:15:36,200 --> 00:15:44,070
WOULD HELP YOU GET IN SHAPE.ECT SPECIMEN
388
00:15:44,067 --> 00:15:46,267
BY SKYPE WE HAVE MIKE.
389
00:15:46,267 --> 00:15:50,067
THANKS FOR JOINING US MIKE.
390
00:15:50,067 --> 00:15:51,527
>> (YELLING).
391
00:15:51,533 --> 00:15:53,633
>> LET'S BOTTLE THAT ENERGY.
392
00:15:53,633 --> 00:15:56,633
WHAT GOES INTO A WELL ROUNDED
393
00:15:56,633 --> 00:15:56,973
WORKOUT.
394
00:15:56,967 --> 00:16:00,197
>> YOU COULD START BY SHUTTING
395
00:16:00,200 --> 00:16:01,570
YOUR MOUTH [BEEP].
396
00:16:01,567 --> 00:16:03,227
GOING TO THE GYM AND THEN
397
00:16:03,233 --> 00:16:03,573
[BEEP].
398
00:16:03,567 --> 00:16:06,867
SQUAT AND DEAD WEIGHT.
399
00:16:06,867 --> 00:16:08,127
SQUAT AND DEAD WEIGHT.
400
00:16:08,133 --> 00:16:13,073
YOU GOT TO GET -- (YELLING ).
401
00:16:13,067 --> 00:16:16,067
>> YOU'RE COME AGO CROSS
402
00:16:16,067 --> 00:16:17,627
SLIGHTLY HOMOPHOBIC AND I DON'T
403
00:16:17,633 --> 00:16:18,873
DO DAIRY.
404
00:16:18,867 --> 00:16:20,827
HEY, WHAT ARE THOSE BODIES
405
00:16:20,833 --> 00:16:22,833
BEHIND YOU?
406
00:16:22,833 --> 00:16:33,333
>> MY SUPPLEMENTS.
407
00:16:33,333 --> 00:16:35,233
>> WHAT DO YOU SAY TO THE HATERS
408
00:16:35,233 --> 00:16:36,933
WHO SAY YOU'RE ON STEROIDS.
409
00:16:36,933 --> 00:16:39,133
>> I'M ON THREE STEROIDS THERE.
410
00:16:39,133 --> 00:16:40,373
I DO [BEEP].
411
00:16:40,367 --> 00:16:42,427
>> YOU HEAR THAT KIDS, RESULTS.
412
00:16:42,433 --> 00:16:44,533
TELL ME HOW MUCH YOU CAN UP
413
00:16:44,533 --> 00:16:45,403
RIGHT ROW.
414
00:16:45,400 --> 00:16:48,830
>> UP RIGHT ROW, WHAT THE [BEEP]
415
00:16:48,833 --> 00:16:49,903
IS UP RIGHT ROW.
416
00:16:49,900 --> 00:16:53,070
IT'S CALLED THE BENT OVER ROW
417
00:16:53,067 --> 00:16:53,367
[BEEP].
418
00:16:53,367 --> 00:16:57,397
BY THE WAY I CAN BENT OVER ROW
419
00:16:57,400 --> 00:16:59,330
ABOUT 315, 5 TIMES.
420
00:16:59,333 --> 00:16:59,603
BRO.
421
00:16:59,600 --> 00:17:00,470
>> FIVE TIMES.
422
00:17:00,467 --> 00:17:02,297
I HATE MY SIZE, WOULD YOU
423
00:17:02,300 --> 00:17:03,900
RECOMMEND A BOWFLEX.
424
00:17:03,900 --> 00:17:05,100
>> BOWFLEX.
425
00:17:05,100 --> 00:17:07,570
DO I LOOK LIKE [BEEP] BLACK GUY
426
00:17:07,567 --> 00:17:09,097
ON THE COMMERCIAL.
427
00:17:09,100 --> 00:17:12,800
WHO THE [BEEP] USES A BOWFLEX,
428
00:17:12,800 --> 00:17:13,730
TOSH?
429
00:17:13,733 --> 00:17:15,203
>> NOT ME, MIKE.
430
00:17:15,200 --> 00:17:17,070
GIVE IT TO ME STRAIGHT.
431
00:17:17,067 --> 00:17:18,397
HOW DO I LOOK.
432
00:17:18,400 --> 00:17:20,670
>> YOU'RE [BEEP] SKINNY FAT.
433
00:17:20,667 --> 00:17:24,067
YOU MUST WEIGHT LIKE 90 POUNDS
434
00:17:24,067 --> 00:17:25,127
[BEEP] SOAKING WET.
435
00:17:25,133 --> 00:17:27,073
YOU'RE THE SCRAWNIEST [BEEP] I
436
00:17:27,067 --> 00:17:28,797
SREFR SEEN IN MY LIFE.
437
00:17:28,800 --> 00:17:31,100
YOU HAVE BITCH TITS.
438
00:17:31,100 --> 00:17:33,070
WHAT THE [BEEP] ARE YOU GOING TO
439
00:17:33,067 --> 00:17:33,297
DO?
440
00:17:33,300 --> 00:17:34,170
[LAUGHING]
441
00:17:34,167 --> 00:17:38,897
>> HOPEFULLY I JUST MAIL YOU
442
00:17:38,900 --> 00:17:39,270
LEFTOVERS.
443
00:17:39,267 --> 00:17:41,727
WHAT KIND OF GIRLS ARE YOU
444
00:17:41,733 --> 00:17:42,703
ATTRACTED TOO.
445
00:17:42,700 --> 00:17:47,600
>> PERFECT BODY, CURVES, TREES,
446
00:17:47,600 --> 00:17:50,270
BIG APPLE ASS, STICKING MY PENIS
447
00:17:50,267 --> 00:17:51,267
IN THERE [BEEP].
448
00:17:51,267 --> 00:17:52,267
>> YES, YOU ARE.
449
00:17:52,267 --> 00:17:54,697
SHE SOUNDS BEAUTIFUL.
450
00:17:54,700 --> 00:17:56,870
>> DOES YOUR THROAT EVER GET
451
00:17:56,867 --> 00:17:57,167
SORE.
452
00:17:57,167 --> 00:17:59,767
>> YA WHEN I SUCK YOUR MOTHERS
453
00:17:59,767 --> 00:18:03,097
[BEEP].
454
00:18:03,100 --> 00:18:04,200
>> THANKS, MIKE.
455
00:18:04,200 --> 00:18:06,370
>> THANKS FOR HAVING ME ON,
456
00:18:06,367 --> 00:18:07,067
TOSH.
457
00:18:07,067 --> 00:18:08,067
GO LIFT WEIGHTS.
458
00:18:08,067 --> 00:18:13,827
>> MAYBE TOMORROW.
459
00:18:13,833 --> 00:18:16,073
>> E-MAIL US A VIDEO FOR A
460
00:18:16,067 --> 00:18:17,397
VIEWER UPDATE.
461
00:18:17,400 --> 00:18:22,070
THIS WEEK COMES FROM TAKI
462
00:18:22,067 --> 00:18:36,967
PICTURES.
463
00:18:39,433 --> 00:18:53,733
>> WE CUT 4 HOURS OUT OF THAT.
464
00:18:53,733 --> 00:18:56,373
WE WILL BE RIGHT BACK WITH MORE
465
00:18:56,367 --> 00:18:59,197
FRANK LEAVES FOR THE ORIENT.
466
00:18:59,200 --> 00:19:04,730
[ APPLAUSE ]
467
00:19:04,733 --> 00:19:10,233
[ APPLAUSE ]
468
00:19:10,233 --> 00:19:13,073
>> AH, WELCOME WHACK TO THE PART
469
00:19:13,067 --> 00:19:15,267
OF THE SHOW I CARE LEAST ABOUT.
470
00:19:15,267 --> 00:19:18,697
NEXT WEEK THE TOSH.O MARATHON
471
00:19:18,700 --> 00:19:20,070
RUNS WILD ON YOU.
472
00:19:20,067 --> 00:19:22,497
THAT MIGHT BE OUR WATERWORLD.
473
00:19:22,500 --> 00:19:24,270
THAT'S A REFERENCE TO A VERY
474
00:19:24,267 --> 00:19:25,267
EXPENSIVE FLOP.
475
00:19:25,267 --> 00:19:27,627
FOLLOW US ON TWITTER, KEEP UP
476
00:19:27,633 --> 00:19:30,973
WITH THE SHOWS AND SEE ME ON THE
477
00:19:30,967 --> 00:19:33,697
TOSH TOUR ON ICE.
478
00:19:33,700 --> 00:19:36,430
FINALLY THE UNFORTUNATE DOMAINS
479
00:19:36,433 --> 00:19:37,533
OF THE WEEK.
480
00:19:37,533 --> 00:19:51,373
FIRST TWOFINGERPUSSYDANCE.COM.
481
00:19:51,367 --> 00:19:58,597
TWO IT SOUNDS VULGAR BUT IT'S
482
00:19:58,600 --> 00:19:58,870
NOT.
483
00:19:58,867 --> 00:20:01,427
NEXT IS
484
00:20:01,433 --> 00:20:02,903
FILLMYWETSTINKYHOLEWITHYOURLOG.C
485
00:20:02,900 --> 00:20:04,130
OM.
486
00:20:04,133 --> 00:20:05,833
GET YOUR MINDS OUT OF THE
487
00:20:05,833 --> 00:20:08,773
GUTTER.
488
00:20:08,767 --> 00:20:09,997
IT'S FOR THE CHESTER.
489
00:20:10,000 --> 00:20:13,270
IN FIELD DAMN & LANDSCAPING
490
00:20:13,267 --> 00:20:14,267
COMPANY.
491
00:20:14,267 --> 00:20:16,327
SERVING EASTERN IOWA FOR OVER 25
492
00:20:16,333 --> 00:20:18,303
YEARS WITH THE FINEST
493
00:20:18,300 --> 00:20:20,030
LANDSCAPING MODIFICATION.
494
00:20:20,033 --> 00:20:21,233
NOW IT MAKES SENSE.
495
00:20:21,233 --> 00:20:34,633
AND FINALLY THE HOLOCAUST IS A THE
496
00:20:34,633 --> 00:20:35,233
HOLHOLOCAUSTISALIE.COM.
497
00:20:35,233 --> 00:20:39,933
THAT PRO MATES HATE.
498
00:20:39,933 --> 00:20:44,633
AND ICE CREAM OUTSIDE OF CORPUS
499
00:20:44,633 --> 00:20:45,433
CHRISTI.
500
00:20:45,433 --> 00:20:48,603
BARGAINS LIKE THAT YOU WILL
501
00:20:48,600 --> 00:20:51,330
ATTRACT A SPECIFIC CLIENTELE
502
00:20:51,333 --> 00:20:53,033
OVERLOOKING YOUR HIGHLY
503
00:20:53,033 --> 00:20:54,033
OFFENSIVE WEBSITE.
504
00:20:54,033 --> 00:20:55,303
ALRIGHT I WANT THE SHOW TO BE
505
00:20:55,300 --> 00:20:55,970
OVER NOW.
506
00:20:55,967 --> 00:21:00,227
GOOD NIGHT.
507
00:21:00,233 --> 00:21:02,233
>> WERE YOU SO HAPPY YOU KNOCKED
508
00:21:02,233 --> 00:21:02,633
HIM OUT.
509
00:21:02,633 --> 00:21:04,573
>> I HAVE TO BE HONEST I WAS A
510
00:21:04,567 --> 00:21:06,867
LITTLE CONCERNED INITIALLY.
511
00:21:06,867 --> 00:21:09,197
THEN I WAS OVERWHELMED WITH HOW
512
00:21:09,200 --> 00:21:10,900
EXCITED AND NICE IT FELT TO
513
00:21:10,900 --> 00:21:12,400
KNOCKOUT ONE OF MY FRIENDS.
514
00:21:12,400 --> 00:21:13,970
>> I DON'T THINK WHERE YOU
515
00:21:13,967 --> 00:21:15,827
INITIAL REACTION WAS OF CONCERN.
516
00:21:15,833 --> 00:21:16,833
>> WHAT THE [BEEP] WAS THAT.
517
00:21:16,833 --> 00:21:18,873
>> A LOT OF PEOPLE KNEW WHAT WAS
518
00:21:18,867 --> 00:21:19,727
WRONG WITH YOU.
519
00:21:19,733 --> 00:21:21,673
YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSE TO MOVE
520
00:21:21,667 --> 00:21:22,067
ANYTHING.
521
00:21:22,067 --> 00:21:23,167
WERE THEY SLAPPING YOU IN THE
522
00:21:23,167 --> 00:21:23,667
FACE TOO.
523
00:21:23,667 --> 00:21:24,397
>> YA.
31992
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