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THAT'S MY WORD.
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I'M UP FOR ANYTHING.
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PUT A GRAND ON IT.
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GIVE ME 2 G'S.
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>> TRYING TO DO ME.
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THAT'S BLOOD.
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>> SOMETIMES THE ICKY CAN BE A
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LITTLE TOO STICKY.
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>> OOH, EW, PUT IT IN THE AIR.
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>> WELCOME TO TOSH.0.
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I THINK WE SHOULD ALL FORGIVE
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TRACY MORGAN AND GO BACK TO JUST
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HATING HIM FOR THE MOVIE COP
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OUT.
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>> TONIGHT ON THE SHOW
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THE WORST HEAVY METAL BAND IN
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THE WORLD GETS REDEEMED
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I TRY TO HIT A 97 MPH CURVE
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BALL
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AND WE LOOK AT SOME VIEWER MAIL.
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>> ALRIGHT, LET'S WATCH THAT GUY
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PUFF-PUFF PASS OUT AGAIN.
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>> YOU SMOKE LIKE THAT.
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[COUGHING].
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>> YOU GOTTA COUGH TO GET OFF.
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[COUGHING]
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>> LEAN BACK.
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LEAN BACK.
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AH, THAT'S TOO FAR.
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>> THAT'S TOO
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DANGIT.
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I REALLY WANTED TO HEAR THE REST
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OF HIS FREESTYLE.
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>> YOU KNOW THIS DOWNSTAIRS
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NEIGHBORS HATE IT WHEN HE
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SMOKES.
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I LOVE THE WAY HE LIES.
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THIS NEXT KID NEEDS TO CHANGE
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HIS DIAPER.
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ROH-ROH.
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SCOOBY'S GOT A REAL MOUTHFUL.
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>> SEEMS LIKE HE'S WAY TOO OLD
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TO BE IN A DIAPER.
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>> YOU COULD THROW THIS BABY
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DOWN A WELL AND GET LIKE A
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MILLION WISHES.
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>> HE HAS A WEIRD TOOTH FAIRY.
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>> I'M NO JIM CRAMER, BUT HIS
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UNDERWEAR HAS A PHENOMENAL
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INTEREST RATE.
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HIT THE BULLHORN.
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THAT'S WHERE I KEEP MY MONEY.
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SHARE SOME CHANGE.
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OH, HOLD ON.
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>> LET ME SEE.
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I GOT SOMETHING FOR YOU.
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HERE YOU GO.
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>> YOU'LL BE GOOD BOY TO YOUR
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NEW HOMELESS DADDY.
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>> HEY, THANKS.
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>> DADDY.
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>> NO PROBLEM.
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THEY'RE GOING TO BE HAPPY
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TOGETHER.
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THEY BOTH LIKE TO TAKE [BLEEP]
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IN PUBLIC.
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>> I HAVE NO OBJECTION TO THIS
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NEXT VIDEO.
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FLOPPING ON THE COURT.
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THAT MUST BE MANU JENOVI'S MOM.
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LET'S PUT 20 SECONDS ON THE
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CLOCK, AND SEE HOW MANY FUNNY
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COMMENTS WE CAN MAKE.
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I HAVEN'T SEEN ACTING THIS GOOD
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IN A COURTROOM SINCE LAST WEEK'S
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FRANKLIN AND BASH.
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SHE NEEDS TO HIRE FRANKLIN AND
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BASH.
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ACTUALLY MAYBE JUST BASH.
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FRANKLIN'S A BIT OF A WILD CARD.
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>> EVEN THE COURT REPORTER ON
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FRANKLIN AND BASH WROTE, "WHAT A
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[BLEEP]."
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>> I HAVEN'T SEEN HIJINKS LIKE
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THAT SINCE FRANKLIN AND BASH
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SHOWED UP TO THE COURTROOM IN
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BATHING SUITS.
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>> IF FRANKLIN & BASH KEEP
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GOOFING OFF, MR. BELDING IS
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GOING TO COME IN AND YELL,
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"HEY, HEY, HEY, WHAT IS GOING ON
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HERE?"
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LATER SHE WAS AWARDED $17
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MILLION.
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NICE WORK FRANKLIN, AND BASH?
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>> AH, YOU GUYS DON'T LIKE
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FRANKLIN AND BASH?
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OVERRULED!
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>> HERE'S SOMETHING I'M SURE
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WE'VE ALL WANTED TO DO.
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>> AND THAT WAS THE YEAR A CAR
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WON THE TOUR DE FRANCE.
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>> TO BE FAIR, IT REALLY IS
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ANNOYING WHEN THEY DON'T STAY IN
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THE BIKE LANE.
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>> YOU GOT FAHRVENUGENED.
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>> NO ONE GOT HURT BECAUSE THEY
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WERE ALL ON STEROIDS.
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>> AND IT HAD A HAPPY ENDING.
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YOU WANT TO KNOW WHY?
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WHY?
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BECAUSE FRANKLIN AND BASH GOT
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THE DRIVER TO SETTLE OUT OF
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COURT.
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>> I HAVE A NEW FAVORITE SPORT.
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IT'S WHERE YOU SEE HOW FAR YOU
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CAN THROW A CRACKHEAD.
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>> GOOD TO SEE THE OAKLAND
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RAIDERS STAYING IN SHAPE DURING
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THE LOCKOUT.
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>> OKAY, TECHNICALLY, THE
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CRACKHEAD HAS TO STICK INTO THE
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GROUND FOR THE THROW TO COUNT.
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>> THIS IS THE ONLY SPORT WHERE
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THE EQUIPMENT IS ON DRUGS.
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>> HE'S ALSO PRETTY GOOD AT
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BOUNCING CHECKS.
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>> NICE THROW.
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WINNER GETS A BJ FROM THE
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JUNKIE.
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>> WE'RE NOT SO DIFFERENT.
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WE HAVE SIMILAR COMPETITIONS IN
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MY NEIGHBORHOOD.
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GOOD SHOT SON.
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YOU OUTDROVE ME AGAIN.
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THANKS DAD.
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YOU'RE REALLY SUPPORTIVE.
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REMEMBER.
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DON'T EVER DO CRACK.
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NO WAY.
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>> ALRIGHT, TURNS OUT OUR
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NEIGHBORHOODS ARE PRETTY
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DIFFERENT.
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>> WHAT'S NEXT?
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SEE THE BULLET.
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YES, SIR.
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NOW READY.
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>> ARE YOU WILLING TO DO THIS?
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>> DIDN'T REALIZE IT WAS REDNECK
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SEASON ALREADY.
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>> DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME.
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NOW YOU CAN'T SUE US OVER THIS
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WEEK'S BREAKDOWN.
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>> IN THE BIBLE BELT, A KEVLAR
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VEST IS CONSIDERED FORMAL WEAR.
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AND THESE APPALACHIAN EINSTEINS
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HAVE COME UP WITH A SURE-FIRE
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WAY TO TEST WHETHER THEIR
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BULLETPROOF VEST IS ACTUALLY
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BULLET PROOF.
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>> MAN, THIS IS SO DANGEROUS.
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I MEAN, WITH ALL THE LITERATURE
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OUT THERE TODAY, WHY WOULD
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ANYONE BE SMOKING?
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>> ARE YOU WILLING TO DO?
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>> YEAH, OF COURSE HE'S WILLING
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TO DO THIS.
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GUNS ARE VERY PERSUASIVE.
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JUST TRY POINTING ONE AT A BANK
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TELLER.
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>> I WAS ROOTING FOR A HEAD
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SHOT.
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>> HE TAKES A LITTLE STROLL
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AROUND HIS BEAUTIFUL PROPERTY.
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WHAT IS THAT?
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A 3 SHACK, 2 AND A HALF CRAPPER?
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>> YOU GUN CONTROL LOBBYISTS CAN
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SUCK IT.
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I DON'T WANT TO LIVE IN A
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COUNTRY WHERE BIG GOVERNMENT
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SAYS I CAN'T SHOOT MY BUDDY AT
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NEAR POINT BLANK RANGE.
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>> COME ON, NOW.
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THAT'S JUST CHILDISH.
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>> BUT THAT IS A GOOD LESSON FOR
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YOU YOUNGSTERS: AFTER YOU SHOOT
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SOMEONE, IT'S IMPORTANT TO WORK
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THE BODY.
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HOLY COW.
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WOW, MAN.
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DID I HIT YOU.
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>> SHOT THROUGH THE HEART, AND
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YOU'RE TO BLAME
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YOU GIVE LOVE A BAD NAME.
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>> WAS THAT A SKI JACKET?
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>> HOW YOU DOING.
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HANG 10.
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HANG 10.
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>> HE'S NOT EVEN ALIVE, HE'S
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JUST RUNNING ON METH AT THIS
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POINT.
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>> DON'T WORRY, I'M SURE THERE'S
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AN UNLICENSED HORSE DOCTOR IN
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THE VICINITY WHO CAN DISLODGE IT
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WITH SOME PLIERS, AND FOR THAT
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WE THANK YOU.
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>> WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH THE
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WEB REDEMPTION, BUT FIRST
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IT'S OUR [BLEEP] OF THE WEEK.
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[LAUGHTER]
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[MUSIC]
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>> IT WAS EITHER LET THEM PLAY
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OR HAVE THEM SHOOT UP THE
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SCHOOL.
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CLEARLY, THEY MADE THE WRONG
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CHOICE.
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>> THAT WAS THE METAL CLUB AND
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LIKE EVERY OTHER HEAVY METAL
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BAND, THEY SUCK.
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IT ALL SOUNDS THE SAME -- JUST
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THREE CHORDS AND YELLING LIKE
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COOKIE MONSTER.
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IF I WANTED TO SEE DUDES SWEAT
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AND SCREAM FOR A COUPLE OF
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HOURS, I'D WATCH GAY PORN.
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WHICH I DO.
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METAL IS ALL ABOUT GIMMICKS.
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YOU KNOW WHY
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YOU KNOW WHY TEGAN AND SARA
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DON'T HAVE TO CRAP ON A BIBLE OR
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VOMIT A GALLON OF BLOOD?
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BECAUSE THEIR SONGS ARE LOVELY.
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I COULD NEVER BE A TRUE METAL
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FAN SINCE I CAN'T WEAR ALL BLACK
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EVERY DAY.
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MY WARDROBE DEMANDS A SPLASH OF
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COLOR.
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THOUGH IT WOULD SAVE A TON OF
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TIME SORTING LAUNDRY -- ANOTHER
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LOAD OF DARKS.
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>> AND STOP PLAYING SONGS
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BACKWARDS.
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SATAN DIDN'T HIDE ANY MESSAGES
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IN THERE FOR YOU.
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[SPEAKING GIBBERISH]
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>> SURE, MOSHING IS A GREAT WAY
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TO BURN OFF THOSE EXTRA CALS
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BUT NOTHING GOOD HAPPENS WHEN
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THAT MANY ANGRY WHITE PEOPLE GET
250
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TOGETHER.
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>> HAVEN'T WE LEARNED ANYTHING
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FROM GERMANY OR THE SOUTH?
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METAL'S NOT THE GLORIOUS ART
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FORM IT USED TO BE.
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EVEN THE PRINCE OF DARKNESS HAS
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TO SPEND HIS DAYS WITH AN AWFUL
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WIFE, 17 TINY DOGS AND AN UGLY
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DAUGHTER
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WHO BRAGS ABOUT HOW MUCH WEIGHT
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SHE LOST BY NOT GETTING THE LAP
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BAND SURGERY.
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>> YEAH, RIGHT.
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>> BUT, LACK OF TALENT BE
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DAMNED, YOU CAN'T BLAME THE
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METAL CLUB FOR TRYING TO PUT ON
266
00:09:41,733 --> 00:09:43,733
A GOOD SHOW.
267
00:09:43,733 --> 00:09:45,273
>> THAT'S WHY I WENT TO SEATTLE,
268
00:09:45,267 --> 00:09:45,927
FOR ONE NIGHT ONLY, IN THIS
269
00:09:45,933 --> 00:09:56,073
WEEK'S WEB REDEMPTION.
270
00:09:56,067 --> 00:09:57,597
[DRUMS]
271
00:09:57,600 --> 00:09:59,170
>> WHOA.
272
00:09:59,167 --> 00:10:00,127
WHOA.
273
00:10:00,133 --> 00:10:01,633
WHOA.
274
00:10:01,633 --> 00:10:03,003
>> OKAY.
275
00:10:03,000 --> 00:10:05,530
I APOLOGIZE FOR CRASHING INTO
276
00:10:05,533 --> 00:10:13,173
YOUR BAND PRACTICE.
277
00:10:13,167 --> 00:10:17,297
NOW I KNOW WHY KURT KILLED
278
00:10:17,300 --> 00:10:17,630
HIMSELF.
279
00:10:17,633 --> 00:10:20,273
IT'S THE HAIR IN THE MOUTH THAT
280
00:10:20,267 --> 00:10:22,527
GETS IRRITATING AFTER A WHILE.
281
00:10:22,533 --> 00:10:24,303
>> HOW BIG IS YOUR BAN.
282
00:10:24,300 --> 00:10:26,170
OUR CLUB IS 12 PEOPLE
283
00:10:26,167 --> 00:10:26,597
ALTOGETHER.
284
00:10:26,600 --> 00:10:29,670
>> IT STARTED OUT WITH ABOUT 30.
285
00:10:29,667 --> 00:10:31,067
AND THEN EVERYBODY QUIT.
286
00:10:31,067 --> 00:10:33,667
>> WHAT WERE WE WATCHING IN THAT
287
00:10:33,667 --> 00:10:34,497
VIDEO.
288
00:10:34,500 --> 00:10:35,770
YOU WERE WATCHING OUR CLUB DOING
289
00:10:35,767 --> 00:10:40,197
A MEDLEY OF METAL FOR ELEMENTARY
290
00:10:40,200 --> 00:10:40,570
SCHOOLERS.
291
00:10:40,567 --> 00:10:43,797
WHY DIDN'T THEY WATCH YOUR
292
00:10:43,800 --> 00:10:44,100
MUSIC.
293
00:10:44,100 --> 00:10:45,200
WHAT TUNE WERE YOU PLAYING.
294
00:10:45,200 --> 00:10:46,400
>> EIGHT DIFFERENT SONG.
295
00:10:46,400 --> 00:10:50,070
>> WHAT I HEARD WAS ONE CAT
296
00:10:50,067 --> 00:10:50,967
HURTING ANOTHER CAT.
297
00:10:50,967 --> 00:10:52,327
>> IT WAS EIGHT SONGS.
298
00:10:52,333 --> 00:10:54,903
>> HAVE YOU EVER TAKEN MUSIC
299
00:10:54,900 --> 00:10:55,230
LESSON.
300
00:10:55,233 --> 00:10:57,973
WE'VE BEEN A CONCERT BAND
301
00:10:57,967 --> 00:10:59,727
TOGETHER FOR FOUR YEARS.
302
00:10:59,733 --> 00:11:01,333
>> HOW ABOUT SINGING LESSONS.
303
00:11:01,333 --> 00:11:02,673
>> NO.
304
00:11:02,667 --> 00:11:06,527
>> WHY DO YOU GO WITH TWO
305
00:11:06,533 --> 00:11:10,773
VOCALISTS AND ONE GUITAR.
306
00:11:10,767 --> 00:11:14,297
IS IT UNFAIR THAT THOSE KIDS
307
00:11:14,300 --> 00:11:18,400
HAVE TO REMEMBER THAT AS THEIR
308
00:11:18,400 --> 00:11:21,900
FIRST CONCERT EVER.
309
00:11:21,900 --> 00:11:24,230
>> OURS IS BETTER THAN SOME OF
310
00:11:24,233 --> 00:11:25,673
THE OTHER ONES.
311
00:11:25,667 --> 00:11:28,067
>> DO YOU THINK THAT YOU GUYS
312
00:11:28,067 --> 00:11:30,467
WERE DOING A GOOD JOB.
313
00:11:30,467 --> 00:11:32,227
>> THE ONES AT THE HIGH SCHOOL
314
00:11:32,233 --> 00:11:33,873
WENT WAY BETTER.
315
00:11:33,867 --> 00:11:35,927
>> I'VE ALWAYS SAID THE SAME
316
00:11:35,933 --> 00:11:36,573
THING.
317
00:11:36,567 --> 00:11:40,697
ARE YOU UPSET YOU AREN'T INSIDE
318
00:11:40,700 --> 00:11:44,530
A HOT TOPIC RIGHT NOW.
319
00:11:44,533 --> 00:11:48,103
>> DO YOU WORSHIP SATAN.
320
00:11:48,100 --> 00:11:50,370
>> I DO.
321
00:11:50,367 --> 00:11:53,697
>> WHY DO YOU WORSHIP SATAN.
322
00:11:53,700 --> 00:11:57,530
>> THEY ACCEPT EVERYBODY.
323
00:11:57,533 --> 00:11:59,733
>> IT'S REBUT THE TALENT IS
324
00:11:59,733 --> 00:12:00,103
THERE.
325
00:12:00,100 --> 00:12:01,430
THAT'S WHY I'M GOING TO FLY YOU
326
00:12:01,433 --> 00:12:02,933
TO HOLLYWOOD AND GIVE YOU A
327
00:12:02,933 --> 00:12:05,073
CHANCE TO PERFORM ON THE SUNSET
328
00:12:05,067 --> 00:12:05,327
STRIP.
329
00:12:05,333 --> 00:12:06,303
>> AWESOME.
330
00:12:06,300 --> 00:12:08,170
>> IT'S PRETTY EXCITING.
331
00:12:08,167 --> 00:12:10,197
I'M ALSO GOING TO BE YOUR
332
00:12:10,200 --> 00:12:10,900
MANAGER.
333
00:12:10,900 --> 00:12:13,300
THAT WILL ENTITLE TO ALMOST ALL
334
00:12:13,300 --> 00:12:18,170
OF THE EARNINGS.
335
00:12:18,167 --> 00:12:21,097
>> WELCOME TO THE ROXIE, BOYS
336
00:12:21,100 --> 00:12:23,570
AND GIRLS.
337
00:12:23,567 --> 00:12:25,467
>> WHY AREN'T YOU PARTYING, AND
338
00:12:25,467 --> 00:12:26,067
DRINK.
339
00:12:26,067 --> 00:12:28,067
>> WE DON'T DRINK.
340
00:12:28,067 --> 00:12:32,467
>> YOU'RE NOT OLD ENOUGH FOR
341
00:12:32,467 --> 00:12:33,167
GROUPIES.
342
00:12:33,167 --> 00:12:37,767
>> MY APOLOGIES TO THE GIRLS.
343
00:12:37,767 --> 00:12:40,067
>> ENJOY FELLOWS.
344
00:12:40,067 --> 00:12:41,427
>> WHAT ABOUT ME.
345
00:12:41,433 --> 00:12:43,803
>> MOST LIKELY YOU AND I WILL
346
00:12:43,800 --> 00:12:44,700
END UP TOGETHER.
347
00:12:44,700 --> 00:12:46,130
I'M NOT HAPPY ABOUT IT EITHER.
348
00:12:46,133 --> 00:12:48,973
>> TO SEX, DRUGS AND ROCK AND
349
00:12:48,967 --> 00:12:49,697
ROLL.
350
00:12:49,700 --> 00:12:52,570
DOES ANYBODY READ MY WRITER.
351
00:12:52,567 --> 00:13:03,097
I DON'T LIKE BLUE M & M'S. M'S.
352
00:13:03,100 --> 00:13:05,170
>> WHO'S READY FOR SOME HAIR
353
00:13:05,167 --> 00:13:05,597
WIND.
354
00:13:05,600 --> 00:13:06,370
>> OKAY.
355
00:13:06,367 --> 00:13:08,627
I GOT ONE NEEDLE SO WE'RE GOING
356
00:13:08,633 --> 00:13:12,233
TO SHARE.
357
00:13:12,233 --> 00:13:13,103
>> ALL RIGHT.
358
00:13:13,100 --> 00:13:14,070
KNOCK IT OFF.
359
00:13:14,067 --> 00:13:15,067
GET OVER HERE.
360
00:13:15,067 --> 00:13:16,697
LET'S HAVE A PRAYER.
361
00:13:16,700 --> 00:13:17,770
DEAR JESUS THANK YOU FOR
362
00:13:17,767 --> 00:13:19,067
EVERYTHING THAT YOU'VE DONE FOR
363
00:13:19,067 --> 00:13:19,627
US.
364
00:13:19,633 --> 00:13:22,333
GIVE US A GREAT SHOW TONIGHT.
365
00:13:22,333 --> 00:13:25,533
LET US ROCK LIKE WE'VE NEVER
366
00:13:25,533 --> 00:13:26,603
ROCKED BEFORE.
367
00:13:26,600 --> 00:13:28,100
THANK YOU FOR THE WONDERFUL
368
00:13:28,100 --> 00:13:30,930
CHEESE PLATTER THAT WE
369
00:13:30,933 --> 00:13:31,973
DESTROYED.
370
00:13:31,967 --> 00:13:33,867
ALLOW EVERYONE THAT COMES TO
371
00:13:33,867 --> 00:13:35,097
TONIGHT'S PERFORMANCE BE BLESSED
372
00:13:35,100 --> 00:13:38,070
BY OUR MUSIC.
373
00:13:38,067 --> 00:13:43,097
MAKE SURE THAT THE VALET DOESN'T
374
00:13:43,100 --> 00:13:44,670
STEAL ANYTHING FROM MY CAR.
375
00:13:44,667 --> 00:13:48,197
MAKE SURE THAT GIRLS DON'T CATCH
376
00:13:48,200 --> 00:13:50,070
ANYTHING VAGINALLY.
377
00:13:50,067 --> 00:13:54,367
>> IN YOUR NAME WE PRAY, AMEN.
378
00:13:54,367 --> 00:13:58,497
>> AMEN.U
379
00:13:58,500 --> 00:14:04,400
>> LET'S DO IT!
380
00:14:04,833 --> 00:14:08,833
[CHANTING]
381
00:14:08,833 --> 00:14:10,973
>> IF YOU CAN'T ENTERTAIN.
382
00:14:10,967 --> 00:14:13,667
YOU'VE GOT YOUR WORK CUT OUT FOR
383
00:14:13,667 --> 00:14:13,927
YOU.
384
00:14:13,933 --> 00:14:16,073
YOU READY TO GIVE IT ANOTHER
385
00:14:16,067 --> 00:14:16,327
SHOT.
386
00:14:16,333 --> 00:14:17,303
>> YES.
387
00:14:17,300 --> 00:14:31,670
>> LAY AN EGG.
388
00:14:31,667 --> 00:14:53,497
[SCREAMING]
389
00:14:53,500 --> 00:14:56,370
[SCREAMING]
390
00:14:56,367 --> 00:14:59,367
>> WHOO!
391
00:14:59,367 --> 00:15:04,567
>> NOT AGAIN.
392
00:15:04,567 --> 00:15:09,797
>> I DON'T CARE.
393
00:15:09,800 --> 00:15:10,570
>> AT LEAST THOSE CHILDREN DIED
394
00:15:10,567 --> 00:15:11,267
WITH A CATCHY TUNE IN THEIR
395
00:15:11,267 --> 00:15:12,427
HEAD.
396
00:15:12,433 --> 00:15:13,373
>> WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK, BUT
397
00:15:13,367 --> 00:15:14,067
FIRST
398
00:15:14,067 --> 00:15:16,627
>> HERE'S A SPANISH LESSON IN
399
00:15:16,633 --> 00:15:29,533
REVERSE PSYCHOLOGY.
400
00:15:29,533 --> 00:15:33,503
[SPEAKING SPANISH] NO
401
00:15:33,500 --> 00:15:37,200
>> NO.
402
00:15:37,200 --> 00:15:57,230
[SPEAKING SPANISH]
403
00:15:57,233 --> 00:15:58,203
>> MEET WIFFLE BOY, THE BEST
404
00:15:58,200 --> 00:15:59,830
WIFFLE BALL PITCHER IN THE
405
00:15:59,833 --> 00:16:01,073
WORLD, WHICH WILL OPEN UP ZERO
406
00:16:01,067 --> 00:16:03,097
DOORS FOR HIM IN LIFE.
407
00:16:03,100 --> 00:16:04,200
BUT I DON'T GIVE A CRAP HOW
408
00:16:04,200 --> 00:16:05,170
RIDICULOUS THOSE PITCHES ARE, I
409
00:16:05,167 --> 00:16:07,797
CAN TAKE ANYONE DEEP.
410
00:16:07,800 --> 00:16:12,070
NICE TO MEET YOU WIFFLE.
411
00:16:12,067 --> 00:16:13,497
ACTUALLY IT'S SEAN.
412
00:16:13,500 --> 00:16:15,530
>> PREPARE TO BE EMBARRASSED.
413
00:16:15,533 --> 00:16:18,273
>> YOU WANT A COUPLE OF WARMUPS.
414
00:16:18,267 --> 00:16:19,167
ONE OR TWO.
415
00:16:19,167 --> 00:16:21,327
>> AM I EXPOSED.
416
00:16:21,333 --> 00:16:23,933
>> WHO.
417
00:16:23,933 --> 00:16:25,133
HANG 5.
418
00:16:25,133 --> 00:16:27,433
WHY YOU THROWING CHANGEUPS.
419
00:16:27,433 --> 00:16:34,073
BRING THE HEAT.
420
00:16:34,067 --> 00:16:47,827
I'LL TAKE MY BASE.
421
00:16:47,833 --> 00:16:52,973
>> OH!
422
00:16:52,967 --> 00:16:53,297
AH!
423
00:16:53,300 --> 00:17:04,600
>> I GOT TO GET A DIFFERENT BAT.
424
00:17:04,600 --> 00:17:06,900
>> PRETTY IMPRESSIVE SEAN.
425
00:17:06,900 --> 00:17:11,470
NOW I'M GOING TO SEE IF YOU CAN
426
00:17:11,467 --> 00:17:15,597
STRIKE OUT THREE OF MY PLAYERS A
427
00:17:15,600 --> 00:17:18,430
TEAM 3.
428
00:17:18,433 --> 00:17:23,303
TWO OF THEM ARE LATINO.
429
00:17:23,300 --> 00:17:25,830
>> YOU EVER SEE THE MOVIE
430
00:17:25,833 --> 00:17:26,173
WANTED.
431
00:17:26,167 --> 00:17:40,367
DON'T WORRY, IT'S NOT IMPORTANT.
432
00:17:40,367 --> 00:17:41,097
>> THE ONLY THING I REGRET DOING
433
00:17:41,100 --> 00:17:41,830
WAS WEARING MY DOLCE & GABBANA
434
00:17:41,833 --> 00:17:55,503
SUNGLASSES.
435
00:17:55,500 --> 00:17:57,630
IT'S THE FACE.
436
00:17:57,633 --> 00:17:58,333
WE'RE OKAY.
437
00:17:58,333 --> 00:18:01,273
>> DON'T SHARE THAT.
438
00:18:01,267 --> 00:18:02,067
I WONDER IF D & G IS GONNA DO
439
00:18:02,067 --> 00:18:04,527
THE RIGHT THING...
440
00:18:04,533 --> 00:18:05,603
>> DON'T FORGET TO GO TO OUR
441
00:18:05,600 --> 00:18:07,200
BLOG AND UPLOAD A CLIP FOR THE
442
00:18:07,200 --> 00:18:08,230
CHANCE TO BE OUR VIEWER VIDEO.
443
00:18:08,233 --> 00:18:11,973
THIS WEEK'S WINNER COMES TO US
444
00:18:11,967 --> 00:18:14,497
FROM SICKANIMATION.COM.
445
00:18:14,500 --> 00:18:14,770
YO.
446
00:18:14,767 --> 00:18:16,597
MY DAD AND I WENT HUNTING.
447
00:18:16,600 --> 00:18:18,600
THE OTHER DAY, AND WE HAD SO
448
00:18:18,600 --> 00:18:21,700
MUCH FUN AND WE SAW A BIG ASS
449
00:18:21,700 --> 00:18:22,070
BEAR.
450
00:18:22,067 --> 00:18:23,927
FOR A SECOND I GOT REALLY
451
00:18:23,933 --> 00:18:24,703
SCARED.
452
00:18:24,700 --> 00:18:26,530
THEN IT CAME OUT OF THE BUSHES.
453
00:18:26,533 --> 00:18:28,933
I HAD TO LAUGH BECAUSE THE BEAR
454
00:18:28,933 --> 00:18:32,233
HAD [BLEEP].
455
00:18:32,233 --> 00:18:35,233
THIS IS A BEAR HAD [BLEEP].
456
00:18:35,233 --> 00:18:39,303
THE BIG ASS HAD A [BLEEP]
457
00:18:39,300 --> 00:18:46,700
[BLEEP].
458
00:18:46,700 --> 00:18:47,070
[SIRENS]
459
00:18:47,067 --> 00:18:47,797
>> SO WE'RE ALLOWED TO SHOW YOU
460
00:18:47,800 --> 00:18:48,500
THAT, BUT NOT ALLOWED TO TELL
461
00:18:48,500 --> 00:18:49,070
YOU HOW TO LICK IT?
462
00:18:49,067 --> 00:18:49,667
>> IT'S NO BRICKLEBERRY.
463
00:18:49,667 --> 00:18:51,367
>> WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH MORE
464
00:18:51,367 --> 00:18:54,397
BOB AND MARGARET.
465
00:18:54,400 --> 00:19:09,300
>> WELCOME BACK TO ACT 4 OF
466
00:19:09,300 --> 00:19:09,900
EPISODE 316.
467
00:19:09,900 --> 00:19:10,570
STILL THE SUMMER OF EXPOSED
468
00:19:10,567 --> 00:19:11,367
ARMS.
469
00:19:11,367 --> 00:19:15,197
BARELY.
470
00:19:15,200 --> 00:19:15,930
>> NEXT WEEK, WE ALL TAKE A RIDE
471
00:19:15,933 --> 00:19:18,173
ON THE FART BUS.
472
00:19:18,167 --> 00:19:20,127
CHRIS CLUN SUMMERS THINKS
473
00:19:20,133 --> 00:19:21,703
VIDEOGAMES IS FUN ACCORDING TO A
474
00:19:21,700 --> 00:19:23,430
SCHOOL BUS DRIVER HE ALSO
475
00:19:23,433 --> 00:19:25,703
THINKING PASSING GAS IS FUN.
476
00:19:25,700 --> 00:19:28,670
>> IT WAS AN ACCIDENT.
477
00:19:28,667 --> 00:19:30,667
CHRISTIAN NOW FEARS HIS
478
00:19:30,667 --> 00:19:32,297
FLATULENCE IF HE CAUGHT PASSING
479
00:19:32,300 --> 00:19:34,500
GAS ON THE BUS AGAIN HE COULD
480
00:19:34,500 --> 00:19:36,570
GET DETENTION.
481
00:19:36,567 --> 00:19:37,697
WHAT NEXT?
482
00:19:37,700 --> 00:19:38,670
I CAN'T TAKE AN UPPER DECKER ON
483
00:19:38,667 --> 00:19:41,367
AN AIRPLANE?
484
00:19:41,367 --> 00:19:42,067
>> BE SURE YOU FOLLOW ME ON
485
00:19:42,067 --> 00:19:42,727
TWITTER SO WE CAN LIVE CHAT
486
00:19:42,733 --> 00:19:44,203
DURING THE SHOWS.
487
00:19:44,200 --> 00:19:47,470
KEEP UP WITH OUR DAILY BLOG OVER
488
00:19:47,467 --> 00:19:48,127
AT TOSH.COMEDYCENTRAL.COM.
489
00:19:48,133 --> 00:19:48,873
>> TICKETS ARE NOW ON SALE FOR
490
00:19:48,867 --> 00:19:52,627
MY NEW TOSH TOUR ON ICE.
491
00:19:52,633 --> 00:19:53,633
AND TOSH.0 WILL BE SPONSORING
492
00:19:53,633 --> 00:19:54,303
ITS FIRST EVER MARATHON IN
493
00:19:54,300 --> 00:19:54,900
HERMOSA BEACH JULY 8TH.
494
00:19:54,900 --> 00:19:55,730
SO FAR, NOBODY FROM KENYA HAS
495
00:19:55,733 --> 00:19:57,403
ENTERED.
496
00:19:57,400 --> 00:19:58,100
SO, THIS COULD BE YOUR YEAR,
497
00:19:58,100 --> 00:20:00,570
WHITES.
498
00:20:00,567 --> 00:20:02,227
GO TO OUR BLOG FOR MORE DETAILS.
499
00:20:02,233 --> 00:20:03,173
>> AND NOW IT'S TIME FOR VIEWER
500
00:20:03,167 --> 00:20:04,767
MALE.
501
00:20:04,767 --> 00:20:05,397
>> A STAPLE OF EVERY BAD
502
00:20:05,400 --> 00:20:07,530
TELEVISION SHOW.
503
00:20:07,533 --> 00:20:09,203
HOW CAN WE POSSIBLY MAKE THIS
504
00:20:09,200 --> 00:20:09,800
BIT DIFFERENT AND GAY?
505
00:20:09,800 --> 00:20:11,800
I'LL TELL YOU HOW.
506
00:20:11,800 --> 00:20:13,900
OUR VIEWER MALE IS JUST ME
507
00:20:13,900 --> 00:20:18,230
CHECKING OUT OUR MALE VIEWERS
508
00:20:18,233 --> 00:20:19,303
I ASKED YOU TO RECORD YOURSELVES
509
00:20:19,300 --> 00:20:23,600
WATCHING MY SHOW
510
00:20:23,600 --> 00:20:24,600
>> HE SEEMS TO BE ENJOYING IT.
511
00:20:24,600 --> 00:20:27,300
>> AND THIS MAN HAS DREAMY EYES.
512
00:20:27,300 --> 00:20:28,000
>> I DON'T APPRECIATE ANYONE
513
00:20:28,000 --> 00:20:28,700
LAYING SHIRTLESS ON A LEATHER
514
00:20:28,700 --> 00:20:30,100
COUCH.
515
00:20:30,100 --> 00:20:30,830
YOU FALL ASLEEP, YOU ROLL OVER
516
00:20:30,833 --> 00:20:33,873
AND IT HURTS.
517
00:20:33,867 --> 00:20:34,567
>> THIS SEEMS LIKE A VERY FUN
518
00:20:34,567 --> 00:20:37,627
GROUP.
519
00:20:37,633 --> 00:20:39,903
>> DAMN YOU, TEAM SIX.
520
00:20:39,900 --> 00:20:40,630
YOU KILLED OFF ONE OF OUR MOST
521
00:20:40,633 --> 00:20:41,473
IMPORTANT VIEWERS.
522
00:20:41,467 --> 00:20:42,197
I HOPE HE DIDN'T HAVE A NEILSEN
523
00:20:42,200 --> 00:20:43,100
BOX.
524
00:20:43,100 --> 00:20:43,870
>> YOU KNOW, WHAT JUST OCCURRED
525
00:20:43,867 --> 00:20:45,797
TO ME RIGHT NOW?
526
00:20:45,800 --> 00:20:48,470
YOU'RE WATCHING ME, WATCHING
527
00:20:48,467 --> 00:20:49,597
YOU, WATCHING ME.
528
00:20:49,600 --> 00:20:53,470
MINDFREAK!
529
00:20:53,467 --> 00:20:54,227
>> WAY TO COMMIT TO THE BIT, YOU
530
00:20:54,233 --> 00:20:56,633
TWO.
531
00:20:56,633 --> 00:20:57,673
>> SADLY, NONE OF THEM WERE
532
00:20:57,667 --> 00:20:58,167
LAUGHING OR BLACK.
533
00:20:58,167 --> 00:21:01,067
NOT GOOD.
534
00:21:01,067 --> 00:21:02,067
>> ALRIGHT, CLOSE IT UP, PAUL.
535
00:21:02,067 --> 00:21:03,067
THANKS FOR WATCHING.
536
00:21:03,067 --> 00:21:07,767
GOODNIGHT.
537
00:21:10,900 --> 00:21:21,370
[APPLAUSE]
538
00:21:21,367 --> 00:21:23,327
THANK YOU FORGIVING ME A TV
539
00:21:23,333 --> 00:21:24,073
SHOW.
540
00:21:24,067 --> 00:21:25,697
IT'S SO MUCH BETTER THAN WHAT I
541
00:21:25,700 --> 00:21:26,870
WAS DOING WHICH WAS MAKING A LOT
542
00:21:26,867 --> 00:21:29,197
OF MONEY AND WORKING A LITTLE.
543
00:21:29,200 --> 00:21:31,070
NOW I'M WORKING A LOT, AND
544
00:21:31,067 --> 00:21:32,197
MAKING A LITTLE.
545
00:21:32,200 --> 00:21:33,930
YOU WORK IN MYSTERIOUS.
546
00:21:33,933 --> 00:21:36,103
I REALLY HAVE MY EYES CLOSED
547
00:21:36,100 --> 00:21:39,570
WHICH IS USUALLY WHY DOUCHE BAGS
548
00:21:39,567 --> 00:21:41,827
WEAR GLASSES BECAUSE YOU DON'T
549
00:21:41,833 --> 00:21:42,133
HAVE.
550
00:21:42,133 --> 00:21:44,533
RIGHT NOW MY EYES ARE CLOSED.
33737
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