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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:11,900 --> 00:00:15,130 >> TOSH.O FEATURES VIDEOS FROM 2 00:00:15,133 --> 00:00:19,603 THE INTERNET AND IS INTENDED FOR 3 00:00:19,600 --> 00:00:21,570 A LA TOUR AUDIENCE. 4 00:00:21,567 --> 00:00:22,467 ENJOY. 5 00:00:28,433 --> 00:00:34,603 [LAUGHING] 6 00:00:34,600 --> 00:00:37,130 * 7 00:00:37,133 --> 00:00:45,503 [ APPLAUSE ] 8 00:00:45,500 --> 00:00:48,230 >> NOTHING WII ABOUT HER. 9 00:00:48,233 --> 00:00:51,973 WELCOME TO TOSH.O AFTER THE 10 00:00:51,967 --> 00:00:53,197 OVERWHELMINGLY HOSTILE RESPONSE 11 00:00:53,200 --> 00:00:55,300 FROM LAST WEEK'S WORLD ROBE 12 00:00:55,300 --> 00:00:57,000 CHOICE I THOUGHT A LESS EXPOSED 13 00:00:57,000 --> 00:00:58,330 ARM WOULD BE MORE. 14 00:00:58,333 --> 00:01:00,403 YOU'RE NOT MATURE ENOUGH TO 15 00:01:00,400 --> 00:01:01,870 HANDLE BARE SHOULDERS. 16 00:01:01,867 --> 00:01:03,427 TONIGHT BOOM BOOM THE DYNAMITE 17 00:01:03,433 --> 00:01:07,133 IS HERE FOR A WEB RETKEPGS, I 18 00:01:07,133 --> 00:01:09,803 SHOW YOU MY BRILLIANT INVENTION 19 00:01:09,800 --> 00:01:11,530 AND GIRLS SAY STUFF YOU NEVER 20 00:01:11,533 --> 00:01:12,803 WANT TO HEAR. 21 00:01:12,800 --> 00:01:14,570 LET'S GO BACK TO THE CROWDED 22 00:01:14,567 --> 00:01:15,067 LIVING ROOM. 23 00:01:15,067 --> 00:01:18,527 I'M GOING TO SAY IT NOBODY LOOKS 24 00:01:18,533 --> 00:01:19,373 BAD IN A THONG. 25 00:01:19,367 --> 00:01:22,067 FOR SIZE WE HAVE FRENCHY IN 26 00:01:22,067 --> 00:01:24,467 FRONT OF AN I MAX SCREEN. 27 00:01:24,467 --> 00:01:26,767 I THINK I KNOW WHERE THE MISSING 28 00:01:26,767 --> 00:01:27,827 CONTROLLER WENT. 29 00:01:27,833 --> 00:01:30,803 NICE FORM THERE HAS. 30 00:01:30,800 --> 00:01:31,800 FATS LOVE BOWLING. 31 00:01:31,800 --> 00:01:33,770 I REALLY DON'T KNOW WHAT BLACK 32 00:01:33,767 --> 00:01:36,897 GUYS SEE IN THIS. 33 00:01:36,900 --> 00:01:38,800 [LAUGHING] 34 00:01:38,800 --> 00:01:41,830 >> IT'S A STATUS THING. 35 00:01:41,833 --> 00:01:45,503 SPEAKING OF ELEPHANTS ... 36 00:01:45,500 --> 00:01:48,500 [LAUGHING] 37 00:01:48,500 --> 00:01:50,870 THE ELEPHANT IN THE ROOM IS THAT 38 00:01:50,867 --> 00:01:53,167 ELEPHANT GIVING SOME GUY A HAPPY 39 00:01:53,167 --> 00:01:53,497 ENDING. 40 00:01:53,500 --> 00:01:55,830 EVERYTHING IN THAILAND INVOLVES 41 00:01:55,833 --> 00:01:57,873 GETTING YOUR PINE IS TOUCHED BY 42 00:01:57,867 --> 00:01:58,627 SOMETHING UNDERAGE. 43 00:01:58,633 --> 00:02:02,503 CAN YOU IMAGINE HOW MANY HOURS 44 00:02:02,500 --> 00:02:04,330 IT TOOK TO BEAT THE BAR INTO 45 00:02:04,333 --> 00:02:05,933 LEARNING THIS. 46 00:02:05,933 --> 00:02:07,903 AN ELEPHANT NEVER FORGETS TO 47 00:02:07,900 --> 00:02:09,170 WORK THE BALLS. 48 00:02:09,167 --> 00:02:09,527 [LAUGHING] 49 00:02:09,533 --> 00:02:11,333 >> I'M ON THE FENCE ABOUT THIS 50 00:02:11,333 --> 00:02:12,733 NEXT VIDEO. 51 00:02:12,733 --> 00:02:19,973 >> HI. 52 00:02:19,967 --> 00:02:20,497 (OH). 53 00:02:20,500 --> 00:02:21,970 >> JOSH, YOU IDIOT. 54 00:02:21,967 --> 00:02:24,867 >> WE HAVE TO STOP PUTTING 55 00:02:24,867 --> 00:02:26,397 PLAYGROUNDS SO CLOSE TO THE 56 00:02:26,400 --> 00:02:26,730 BORDER. 57 00:02:26,733 --> 00:02:29,073 SOMETIME WHEN YOU FLING FOR THE 58 00:02:29,067 --> 00:02:31,867 FENCES YOU END UP WRECKING YOUR 59 00:02:31,867 --> 00:02:32,297 PAINT. 60 00:02:32,300 --> 00:02:34,800 LET'S TAKE A RIDE ON THE CRAZY 61 00:02:34,800 --> 00:02:35,100 TRAIN. 62 00:02:35,100 --> 00:02:37,300 I THINK SO LOOK I'M TRIPPING. 63 00:02:37,300 --> 00:02:39,730 [BEEP] NOBODY LOOK, NOBODY IS IN 64 00:02:39,733 --> 00:02:43,933 THE METRO [BEEP] AHH! 65 00:02:43,933 --> 00:02:47,473 >> THIS IS WHAT ROSA PARKS WAS 66 00:02:47,467 --> 00:02:48,627 FIGHTING FOR. 67 00:02:48,633 --> 00:02:49,933 [LAUGHING] 68 00:02:49,933 --> 00:02:52,333 >> THE METRO ALL BY MYSELF. 69 00:02:52,333 --> 00:02:54,073 >> BEST WAY TO BE ALONE IN THE 70 00:02:54,067 --> 00:02:56,127 METRO IS TO RUN AROUND 71 00:02:56,133 --> 00:02:59,073 SKRAEUPLING, AND BE A BLACK GUY. 72 00:02:59,067 --> 00:03:01,297 ALL THE WHITE PEOPLE ON THE NEXT 73 00:03:01,300 --> 00:03:04,200 CAR ARE COWERING IN FEAR. 74 00:03:04,200 --> 00:03:06,300 YOU REALLY WANT TO BE ALONE GO 75 00:03:06,300 --> 00:03:08,600 SEE "XMEN FIRST CLASS." 76 00:03:08,600 --> 00:03:10,130 >> CAN YOU SEE ME? 77 00:03:10,133 --> 00:03:12,773 CAN YOU SEE ME? 78 00:03:12,767 --> 00:03:15,927 >> AHHH! I CAN DO WHATEVER I 79 00:03:15,933 --> 00:03:16,233 WANT. 80 00:03:16,233 --> 00:03:18,333 >> I FOAL THE SAME WAY WHENEVER 81 00:03:18,333 --> 00:03:19,403 MY GIRLFRIEND ISN'T AROUND. 82 00:03:19,400 --> 00:03:21,630 >> I CAN NOT BELIEVE THIS. 83 00:03:21,633 --> 00:03:25,203 THERE IS NO ONE IN THIS SUBARU. 84 00:03:25,200 --> 00:03:27,430 I'M ALL ALONE IN THIS SUBARU. 85 00:03:27,433 --> 00:03:32,833 I'M FREAKING THE [BEEP] OUT! 86 00:03:32,833 --> 00:03:36,103 >> -- THE CUPCAKE ALL ALONE. 87 00:03:36,100 --> 00:03:40,170 THERE IS NO ONE ON THIS SET. 88 00:03:40,167 --> 00:03:42,367 AHHH! 89 00:03:42,367 --> 00:03:46,867 CAN, I CAN DO THIS.I 90 00:03:46,867 --> 00:03:52,767 I CAN BE LIKE, AHHH! 91 00:03:52,767 --> 00:03:54,767 YA, I'M SO ALONE. 92 00:03:54,767 --> 00:03:57,067 I'M TRIPPING OUT. 93 00:03:57,067 --> 00:03:58,697 LOOK AT THIS. 94 00:03:58,700 --> 00:04:02,530 I AM ALL ALONE IN MY BED. 95 00:04:02,533 --> 00:04:02,903 [LAUGHING] 96 00:04:02,900 --> 00:04:06,070 >> NO YOU'RE NOT. 97 00:04:06,067 --> 00:04:07,067 [BEEP] 98 00:04:07,067 --> 00:04:08,767 >> AHHH! 99 00:04:08,767 --> 00:04:10,697 >> HE'S NOT THE ONLY ONE WHO 100 00:04:10,700 --> 00:04:17,570 ENJOYS A MOUTHFUL OF WOOD. 101 00:04:17,567 --> 00:04:26,327 >> OH ... 102 00:04:26,333 --> 00:04:29,973 >> THANKS A LOT, HELMET. 103 00:04:29,967 --> 00:04:32,597 YOU GOT SOMETHING ON YOUR CHEEK 104 00:04:32,600 --> 00:04:34,100 THERE, THE OTHER SIDE. 105 00:04:34,100 --> 00:04:36,530 I'M GOING TO GO OUT ON A LIMB 106 00:04:36,533 --> 00:04:38,133 HERE AND SAY THAT HURT. 107 00:04:38,133 --> 00:04:41,233 >> TECHNICALLY THAT NEEDS TO BE 108 00:04:41,233 --> 00:04:42,273 IN THERE. 109 00:04:42,267 --> 00:04:44,297 >> TECHNICALLY YOU NEED TO WATER 110 00:04:44,300 --> 00:04:46,900 IT TWICE A DAY AND MAKE SURE IT 111 00:04:46,900 --> 00:04:48,570 GETS PLENTY OF SUN LIGHT OR GET 112 00:04:48,567 --> 00:04:50,927 A BIRD TO PERCH ON IT. 113 00:04:50,933 --> 00:04:53,103 WHAT'S NEXT. 114 00:04:53,100 --> 00:04:54,130 >> BIG GIRL. 115 00:04:54,133 --> 00:04:58,903 >> HUH-UH. 116 00:04:58,900 --> 00:05:02,130 >> SHAKE THAT SQUIRREL. 117 00:05:02,133 --> 00:05:04,603 TOP LESS CHICKS WITH DEAD 118 00:05:04,600 --> 00:05:06,400 ANIMALS, I'M IN. 119 00:05:06,400 --> 00:05:10,370 LET'S FIND OUT HOW TO RAYS A 120 00:05:10,367 --> 00:05:11,627 PSYCHOPATH IN THIS WEEK'S 121 00:05:11,633 --> 00:05:12,673 BREAKDOWN. 122 00:05:12,667 --> 00:05:15,067 >> SHE'S PLAYING WITH A DEAD 123 00:05:15,067 --> 00:05:21,397 QUIRREL!!S 124 00:05:21,400 --> 00:05:23,430 OR PLAYING WITH BARBIE. 125 00:05:23,433 --> 00:05:27,103 THAT MAY GIVE HER AN EATING 126 00:05:27,100 --> 00:05:29,670 DISORDER BUT SHE WON'T GET FULL 127 00:05:29,667 --> 00:05:31,067 BLOWN RABIES. 128 00:05:31,067 --> 00:05:33,897 THIS GIRL WILL BE A SERIAL 129 00:05:33,900 --> 00:05:36,570 KILLER WHEN SHE GROWS UP OR 130 00:05:36,567 --> 00:05:38,427 WORST NEXT SARAH PALIN. 131 00:05:38,433 --> 00:05:40,373 >> WHAT WILL YOU DO AFTER THIS? 132 00:05:40,367 --> 00:05:42,727 >> STARTERS TAKE AWAY THE NUMBER 133 00:05:42,733 --> 00:05:44,073 ONE DAD MUG. 134 00:05:44,067 --> 00:05:46,397 I BLAME THE MOVIES. 135 00:05:46,400 --> 00:05:49,400 KIDS SEE A COUPLE OF CHIPMUNKS 136 00:05:49,400 --> 00:05:52,870 AND JASON LEE AND THEY WANT THEM 137 00:05:52,867 --> 00:05:54,467 FOR THEMSELVES. 138 00:05:54,467 --> 00:05:55,897 IT'S SQUIRREL, DUMMY. 139 00:05:55,900 --> 00:05:58,200 HERE COMES MOM TO RESTORE SOME 140 00:05:58,200 --> 00:05:59,900 ORDER OR JUST STAND THERE AND 141 00:05:59,900 --> 00:06:04,700 LET THE CAMERA ZOOM IN ON YOUR 142 00:06:04,700 --> 00:06:05,070 TITTIES. 143 00:06:05,067 --> 00:06:06,827 SOLID RACK, AND THE MOM'S ARE 144 00:06:06,833 --> 00:06:09,403 PRETTY NICE TOO. 145 00:06:09,400 --> 00:06:09,770 [LAUGHING] 146 00:06:09,767 --> 00:06:12,067 >> OH, TOOK YOU AN HOUR. 147 00:06:12,067 --> 00:06:13,327 [LAUGHING] 148 00:06:13,333 --> 00:06:14,903 >> SUDDENLY THE SQUIRREL ISN'T 149 00:06:14,900 --> 00:06:16,630 THE ONLY THING GETTING STIFF 150 00:06:16,633 --> 00:06:18,273 AROUND HERE. 151 00:06:18,267 --> 00:06:20,267 IMAGINE WHAT IT'S GOING TO BE 152 00:06:20,267 --> 00:06:22,097 LIKE WHEN THAT DOG DIES. 153 00:06:22,100 --> 00:06:25,930 SHE WILL PROBABLY HOLLOW OUT THE 154 00:06:25,933 --> 00:06:28,473 CARCASS AND USE IT AS A SLEEPING 155 00:06:28,467 --> 00:06:28,727 BAG. 156 00:06:28,733 --> 00:06:30,403 >> WE HAVE TO PUT THE SQUIRREL 157 00:06:30,400 --> 00:06:32,130 DOWN AND TAKE A BATH NOW. 158 00:06:32,133 --> 00:06:34,073 >> A BATH, I CAN'T BELIEVE THEY 159 00:06:34,067 --> 00:06:35,867 HAVE IN DOOR PLUMBING. 160 00:06:35,867 --> 00:06:39,427 YOU WILL NEED LAVA SOAP AND 161 00:06:39,433 --> 00:06:41,833 BLEACH TO SCRUB THE DISEASE OFF 162 00:06:41,833 --> 00:06:42,103 HER. 163 00:06:42,100 --> 00:06:42,600 >> HI. 164 00:06:42,600 --> 00:06:44,600 >> WHILE YOU'RE AT IT HAVE YOUR 165 00:06:44,600 --> 00:06:47,270 FRIENDS AND RELATIVES CALL CHILD 166 00:06:47,267 --> 00:06:48,527 PROTECTIVE SERVICES AND GET THE 167 00:06:48,533 --> 00:06:49,333 HELL OUT OF THERE. 168 00:06:49,333 --> 00:06:52,403 I'M GLAD WE GOT TO SEE THE FIRST 169 00:06:52,400 --> 00:06:54,570 FATHER DAUGHTER SNUFF FILM. 170 00:06:54,567 --> 00:06:56,067 FOR THAT WE THANK YOU. 171 00:06:56,067 --> 00:06:57,697 WE WILL BE BACK WITH BOOM GOES 172 00:06:57,700 --> 00:06:59,070 THE DYNAMITE. 173 00:06:59,067 --> 00:07:02,527 BEFORE WE GO LET ME GET THAT FOR 174 00:07:02,533 --> 00:07:11,073 THE. 175 00:07:11,067 --> 00:07:12,797 >> BEFORE THE BASEBALL TEAM 176 00:07:12,800 --> 00:07:15,170 KICKS OFF THE CONFERENCE SEASON 177 00:07:15,167 --> 00:07:16,497 THIS WEEKEND THE CARDS WILL 178 00:07:16,500 --> 00:07:18,400 BATTLE IN INDIANA TOMORROW. 179 00:07:18,400 --> 00:07:19,700 TOMORROW'S GAME WILL BE THE 180 00:07:19,700 --> 00:07:23,170 MEETING BETWEEN THE TWO BEATING 181 00:07:23,167 --> 00:07:24,067 BOTH -- 182 00:07:24,067 --> 00:07:25,567 [LAUGHING] 183 00:07:25,567 --> 00:07:29,497 >> IT SEEMS -- WE, IT SEEMS 184 00:07:29,500 --> 00:07:31,770 EVERY WEEK THEY HAVE A PLAYER 185 00:07:31,767 --> 00:07:32,567 ... 186 00:07:32,567 --> 00:07:36,927 [LAUGHING] 187 00:07:36,933 --> 00:07:38,873 A 188 00:07:38,867 --> 00:07:41,097 PLAYER ... 189 00:07:41,100 --> 00:07:45,130 SHAKE IT AND BOOM GOES THE 190 00:07:45,133 --> 00:07:45,503 DYNAMITE. 191 00:07:45,500 --> 00:07:47,130 >> BOOM GOES THE CAREER. 192 00:07:47,133 --> 00:07:49,373 THAT'S BRIAN ONE TAKE COLLINS. 193 00:07:49,367 --> 00:07:53,527 IN ONE OF THE WORST SPORTS CAST 194 00:07:53,533 --> 00:07:56,333 HE CREATED A GREAT CATCH PHRASE. 195 00:07:56,333 --> 00:07:59,233 HOW ABOUT DOWN GOES FRAZIER, DO 196 00:07:59,233 --> 00:08:02,533 YOU BELIEVE IN MIRACLES AND 197 00:08:02,533 --> 00:08:04,333 WRONG HOLE KOBE. 198 00:08:04,333 --> 00:08:06,503 GETTING A SPORTS JOB IS HARD. 199 00:08:06,500 --> 00:08:09,100 BEST YOU CAN HOPE FOR IS $50,000 200 00:08:09,100 --> 00:08:13,530 A YEAR AND LIVE IN BRISTOL, 201 00:08:13,533 --> 00:08:13,973 CONNECTICUT. 202 00:08:13,967 --> 00:08:16,867 THAT NETWORK HAS RUINED SPORTS 203 00:08:16,867 --> 00:08:17,197 ANCHORS. 204 00:08:17,200 --> 00:08:18,600 NOW EVERYONE THINKS THEY NEED TO 205 00:08:18,600 --> 00:08:19,770 BE HILARIOUS. 206 00:08:19,767 --> 00:08:22,067 SPORTS IS NOT TO BE FUNNY, JUST 207 00:08:22,067 --> 00:08:24,867 DON'T TELL THAT TO COMEDY 208 00:08:24,867 --> 00:08:25,197 CENTRAL. 209 00:08:25,200 --> 00:08:27,400 THERE IS A REASON PEOPLE PAY SO 210 00:08:27,400 --> 00:08:29,900 MUCH TO GO TO THE GAME. 211 00:08:29,900 --> 00:08:31,670 THEY CAN WATCH WITHOUT HEARING 212 00:08:31,667 --> 00:08:32,897 YOU TALK. 213 00:08:32,900 --> 00:08:35,530 HOW IS CHRIS BURRMAN ALIVE HE 214 00:08:35,533 --> 00:08:37,973 CAN'T MAKE IT THROUGH A SENTENCE 215 00:08:37,967 --> 00:08:40,297 WITHOUT SOUNDING COMPLETELY 216 00:08:40,300 --> 00:08:40,630 WINDED. 217 00:08:40,633 --> 00:08:42,673 HE SOUNDS LIKE A DOLPHIN WITH 218 00:08:42,667 --> 00:08:43,067 TOURETTES. 219 00:08:43,067 --> 00:08:48,197 I GET IT KURT HERBSTREIT IS 220 00:08:48,200 --> 00:08:51,100 BEAUTIFUL. 221 00:08:51,100 --> 00:08:55,400 BUT IT'S EASY SITTING NEXT TO AN 222 00:08:55,400 --> 00:08:56,930 80-YEAR-OLD STROKE VICTIM. 223 00:08:56,933 --> 00:08:59,873 I DON'T USE THE WORD COLOR 224 00:08:59,867 --> 00:09:03,267 COMMENTATOR I'M NOT RACE IS. 225 00:09:03,267 --> 00:09:06,097 I APPRECIATE JOHN MADDEN BUT 226 00:09:06,100 --> 00:09:08,400 CAN'T FORGIVE HIM FOR MAKING 227 00:09:08,400 --> 00:09:11,530 FRANK CALIENDO'S CAR AOERP. 228 00:09:11,533 --> 00:09:14,303 WHY DOES HE HAVE THE HAIRCUT OF 229 00:09:14,300 --> 00:09:14,870 A LION. 230 00:09:14,867 --> 00:09:17,227 THE ONLY ONE WORTH A DAMN IS 231 00:09:17,233 --> 00:09:18,533 MARV ALBERT AND HE TRIED TO EAT 232 00:09:18,533 --> 00:09:19,233 A WOMAN. 233 00:09:19,233 --> 00:09:22,333 BY THE WAY DANA JAKE ONSON LOOKS 234 00:09:22,333 --> 00:09:26,103 LIKE CONAN THE BARBARIAN. 235 00:09:26,100 --> 00:09:28,630 SIDELINE REPORTERS ARE VOTE 236 00:09:28,633 --> 00:09:29,873 KPHRAO*ETLY UNNECESSARY. 237 00:09:29,867 --> 00:09:31,627 I'M PRET YOU'RE SURE A HEAD 238 00:09:31,633 --> 00:09:34,473 COACH ISN'T HANDING OUT TYPE 239 00:09:34,467 --> 00:09:36,797 SECRET INFORMATION TO A MIDDLE 240 00:09:36,800 --> 00:09:41,100 AGED WOMEN IN A SPORTS SUIT. 241 00:09:41,100 --> 00:09:42,970 WE FLEW BOOM TO THE BEST SPORTS 242 00:09:42,967 --> 00:09:44,667 CITY IN AMERICA THAT DOESN'T 243 00:09:44,667 --> 00:09:48,527 WANT A NFL TEAM IN THIS WEEK'S 244 00:09:48,533 --> 00:09:50,503 WEB RETKEPGS. 245 00:09:50,500 --> 00:09:52,430 BOOYA! 246 00:09:52,433 --> 00:09:54,103 >> BOOM, GET IN. 247 00:09:54,100 --> 00:09:54,570 >> ALRIGHT. 248 00:09:54,567 --> 00:10:00,467 >> I HAVE A HOT STORY. 249 00:10:00,467 --> 00:10:02,067 >> I DON'T THINK YOU CAN PARK 250 00:10:02,067 --> 00:10:02,367 HERE. 251 00:10:02,367 --> 00:10:04,667 THIS IS A HANDICAP SPOT. 252 00:10:04,667 --> 00:10:07,097 >> BETWEEN MY IBS AND YOUR 253 00:10:07,100 --> 00:10:09,200 INABILITY TO READ A TELEPROMPTER 254 00:10:09,200 --> 00:10:10,000 WE CALL PHI. 255 00:10:10,000 --> 00:10:10,570 LET'S GO. 256 00:10:10,567 --> 00:10:12,367 >> BRIAN, WAS THIS A CLASS OR 257 00:10:12,367 --> 00:10:14,127 LIKE THE SCHOOL BROADCAST. 258 00:10:14,133 --> 00:10:15,073 WHAT WAS IT. 259 00:10:15,067 --> 00:10:17,097 >> HERE IS THE THING A LOT OF 260 00:10:17,100 --> 00:10:17,900 PEOPLE FORGET THIS. 261 00:10:17,900 --> 00:10:19,170 THAT WAS COLLEGE. 262 00:10:19,167 --> 00:10:21,267 NOT ONLY COLLEGE MY FRESHMAN 263 00:10:21,267 --> 00:10:21,567 YEAR. 264 00:10:21,567 --> 00:10:23,197 FIRST TIME BEING ON AIR PERIOD. 265 00:10:23,200 --> 00:10:25,830 I NEVER STEPPED IN FRONT OF A 266 00:10:25,833 --> 00:10:26,403 CAMERA BEFORE THAT. 267 00:10:26,400 --> 00:10:28,430 I WAS DOING IT ON THE FLY TOO. I 268 00:10:28,433 --> 00:10:29,903 WAS COVERING STUFF I DIDN'T KNOW 269 00:10:29,900 --> 00:10:30,500 ANYTHING ABOUT. 270 00:10:30,500 --> 00:10:32,170 >> SPORTS OR JUST BASKETBALL. 271 00:10:32,167 --> 00:10:34,497 >> I REALLY KNEW A LOT ABOUT 272 00:10:34,500 --> 00:10:36,930 SPORTS BUT NOT ABOUT BASKETBALL. 273 00:10:36,933 --> 00:10:37,503 >> GOT IT. 274 00:10:37,500 --> 00:10:39,470 >> CLEARLY SOMETHING I SHOULD OF 275 00:10:39,467 --> 00:10:40,927 THOUGHT ABOUT BEFORE I WENT ON 276 00:10:40,933 --> 00:10:43,403 AIR I SHOULD OF RESEARCHED THE 277 00:10:43,400 --> 00:10:44,630 NAMES OR SOMETHING. 278 00:10:44,633 --> 00:10:46,173 >> IT READ HONEST. 279 00:10:46,167 --> 00:10:47,797 HE'S IN OVER HIS HEAD. 280 00:10:47,800 --> 00:10:51,800 YOU WANT THEM TO TRIUMPH. 281 00:10:51,800 --> 00:10:52,630 IT NEVER HAPPENS. 282 00:10:52,633 --> 00:10:54,403 HOW LONG WERE YOU ON THE AIR 283 00:10:54,400 --> 00:10:55,030 THAT SEGMENT. 284 00:10:55,033 --> 00:11:00,073 >> I REMEMBER THE SECOND SEGMENT 285 00:11:00,067 --> 00:11:01,597 THEY WERE SLOWING ME DOWN. 286 00:11:01,600 --> 00:11:03,370 I THOUGHT THEY WOULD PULL ME. 287 00:11:03,367 --> 00:11:04,067 THEY SAID NO. 288 00:11:04,067 --> 00:11:05,567 >> WHAT DID YOU DO LATER THAT 289 00:11:05,567 --> 00:11:05,867 NIGHT. 290 00:11:05,867 --> 00:11:07,367 >> I WALKED HOME IN THE RAIN. 291 00:11:07,367 --> 00:11:08,727 >> THAT'S A BEAUTIFUL MOMENT. 292 00:11:08,733 --> 00:11:10,873 >> DID YOU COME UP WITH BOOM 293 00:11:10,867 --> 00:11:14,427 GOES THE DYNAMITE OR HOW DID YOU 294 00:11:14,433 --> 00:11:15,903 COME UP WITH IT. 295 00:11:15,900 --> 00:11:17,770 >> MY FRIENDS IN COLLEGE WE 296 00:11:17,767 --> 00:11:19,167 PLAYED MARIO CART A LOT. 297 00:11:19,167 --> 00:11:21,067 THAT'S WHAT WE DID, WE CAME UP 298 00:11:21,067 --> 00:11:23,467 WITH OUR OWN CATCH PHRASES. 299 00:11:23,467 --> 00:11:25,427 >> WHEN YOU PLAYED MARIO CART 300 00:11:25,433 --> 00:11:27,703 AND WON YOU SKRAEUPLD "BOOM GOES 301 00:11:27,700 --> 00:11:29,070 THE DYNAMITE." 302 00:11:29,067 --> 00:11:31,767 >> A GOOD POINT TO YELL IT OUT 303 00:11:31,767 --> 00:11:34,067 IS WHEN YOU HIT SOMEONE WITH A 304 00:11:34,067 --> 00:11:34,827 GREEN SHELL. 305 00:11:34,833 --> 00:11:35,833 YOU HAVE TO HAVE AIM. 306 00:11:35,833 --> 00:11:38,173 >> DID THIS HELP OR HURT YOUR 307 00:11:38,167 --> 00:11:39,727 SITUATION WITH THE LADIES. 308 00:11:39,733 --> 00:11:40,573 >> IT HURT. 309 00:11:40,567 --> 00:11:44,397 >> YOU HAVE YELLED "BOOM GO THE 310 00:11:44,400 --> 00:11:45,770 DYNAMITE" WHILE HAVING SEX? 311 00:11:45,767 --> 00:11:46,767 >> I NOT HAVE. 312 00:11:46,767 --> 00:11:48,497 I'M SURE THAT IS WHERE THE DATE 313 00:11:48,500 --> 00:11:50,230 WOULD END AND THERE WOULD BE NO 314 00:11:50,233 --> 00:11:51,433 OTHER DATE AFTER THAT. 315 00:11:51,433 --> 00:11:53,303 >> IT MIGHT BE A GOOD WAY TO GET 316 00:11:53,300 --> 00:11:55,970 THEM OUT IF THAT WAS YOUR GOAL. 317 00:11:55,967 --> 00:11:57,967 >>WHO IS YOUR FAVORITE SPORTS 318 00:11:57,967 --> 00:11:58,467 CASTER? 319 00:11:58,467 --> 00:12:01,167 >> BOB COSTIS. 320 00:12:01,167 --> 00:12:02,527 >> I DON'T KNOW IF YOU KNOW THIS 321 00:12:02,533 --> 00:12:03,173 ABOUT BOB. 322 00:12:03,167 --> 00:12:05,227 IN HIS OFF TIME HE DRESSES IN 323 00:12:05,233 --> 00:12:05,633 INTRODUCING. 324 00:12:05,633 --> 00:12:06,773 >> I DID NOT KNOW THAT. 325 00:12:06,767 --> 00:12:09,067 >> BOB IS A DRAG QUEEN. 326 00:12:09,067 --> 00:12:10,597 WHAT ARE YOU DOING AS A LIVING 327 00:12:10,600 --> 00:12:10,900 NOW. 328 00:12:10,900 --> 00:12:14,730 >> I WORK AS A FREELANCE 329 00:12:14,733 --> 00:12:16,203 REPORTER JOURNALIST. 330 00:12:16,200 --> 00:12:18,300 >> YOU ARE TKPWROEUPBDING IT OUT 331 00:12:18,300 --> 00:12:19,200 IN THE BUSINESS. 332 00:12:19,200 --> 00:12:19,630 >> YES. 333 00:12:19,633 --> 00:12:22,833 >> DO YOU SAY THAT IN EVERY 334 00:12:22,833 --> 00:12:23,203 BROADCAST. 335 00:12:23,200 --> 00:12:23,430 >> 336 00:12:23,433 --> 00:12:25,233 >> I SAY IT UNDER MY BREATH. 337 00:12:25,233 --> 00:12:26,933 >> WHAT ABOUT A SPORTS CAST 338 00:12:26,933 --> 00:12:29,303 WOULD YOU DID I HAVE NATELY SAY 339 00:12:29,300 --> 00:12:29,570 IT? 340 00:12:29,567 --> 00:12:31,197 >> BELIEVE IT OR NOT I HAVEN'T 341 00:12:31,200 --> 00:12:33,070 DONE A SPORTS CAST SINCE THAT 342 00:12:33,067 --> 00:12:33,267 DAY. 343 00:12:33,267 --> 00:12:34,067 NOT ONE. 344 00:12:34,067 --> 00:12:36,227 >> MAN, THIS IS GOING TO BE 345 00:12:36,233 --> 00:12:36,603 EXCITING. 346 00:12:36,600 --> 00:12:38,230 >> HOW WOULD YOU FEEL ABOUT 347 00:12:38,233 --> 00:12:40,303 CALLING OUR STAFF PICKUP GAME. 348 00:12:40,300 --> 00:12:41,430 >> I WOULD DO IT. 349 00:12:41,433 --> 00:12:43,433 >> GUSS JOHNSON ALSO DOES IT BY 350 00:12:43,433 --> 00:12:45,373 THE WAY, EVERY WEEK. 351 00:12:45,367 --> 00:12:47,267 >> HI, I'M GUSS JOHNSON. 352 00:12:47,267 --> 00:12:48,727 >> I'M BRIAN COLLINS. 353 00:12:48,733 --> 00:12:52,333 >> WELCOME TO THE TOSH.O STAFF 354 00:12:52,333 --> 00:12:52,803 GAME. 355 00:12:52,800 --> 00:12:55,670 BRIAN, WHAT CAN WE EXPECT TO SEE 356 00:12:55,667 --> 00:12:55,967 TODAY? 357 00:12:55,967 --> 00:12:58,297 >> BASED ON THE LACK OF 358 00:12:58,300 --> 00:12:58,670 DIVERSITY. 359 00:12:58,667 --> 00:13:01,067 SUB SHOTS AND LAYUPS THIS 360 00:13:01,067 --> 00:13:01,367 AFTERNOON. 361 00:13:01,367 --> 00:13:03,467 >> OKAY TIME TO JOIN THE THIRD 362 00:13:03,467 --> 00:13:07,297 MEMBER OF OUR TEAM, DANIEL. 363 00:13:07,300 --> 00:13:10,130 >> ONES AND TWOS CALL YOUR OWN 364 00:13:10,133 --> 00:13:16,473 FOULS, WINNERS BUYS LUNCH. 365 00:13:16,467 --> 00:13:19,327 START THE GAME, YOU IDIOT. 366 00:13:19,333 --> 00:13:20,973 >> OVER THE CORNER, TURNS IT 367 00:13:20,967 --> 00:13:23,367 OVER IN CROSS TOWN TRAFFIC. 368 00:13:23,367 --> 00:13:25,127 >> HE'S GOING TO ROB THE BANK 369 00:13:25,133 --> 00:13:25,433 SHOT. 370 00:13:25,433 --> 00:13:27,503 >> WHAT A NICE TEARDROP. 371 00:13:27,500 --> 00:13:28,730 >> FROM 2 FEET OUT. 372 00:13:28,733 --> 00:13:30,203 >> IRON ON KIND. 373 00:13:30,200 --> 00:13:32,370 >> BOUNCE IT'S OFF HIS LEFT 374 00:13:32,367 --> 00:13:32,667 HOLE. 375 00:13:32,667 --> 00:13:33,597 >> HIGH RISER. 376 00:13:33,600 --> 00:13:39,500 >> DIALED UP LIKE A MODEM. 377 00:13:39,500 --> 00:13:41,600 [LAUGHING] 378 00:13:41,600 --> 00:13:42,830 >> RISE AND FIRE. 379 00:13:42,833 --> 00:13:44,873 >> OH, OH DOUBLE DRIBBLE. 380 00:13:44,867 --> 00:13:50,227 >> HE HAS A HOT SOFT HANDLE. 381 00:13:50,233 --> 00:13:51,773 >> FROM THE MARKING LOT. 382 00:13:51,767 --> 00:13:54,067 >> SHAZAM. 383 00:13:54,067 --> 00:13:56,167 >> OH MAN LOOKS LIKE HE ROLLED 384 00:13:56,167 --> 00:13:57,097 AN ANGER. 385 00:13:57,100 --> 00:13:59,100 >> DO DANIEL FOR A UPDATE. 386 00:13:59,100 --> 00:14:00,400 >> HE GOT HURT. 387 00:14:00,400 --> 00:14:02,570 BACK TO YOU, BOOM. 388 00:14:02,567 --> 00:14:06,167 >> EASY, BREEZY BEAUTIFUL COVER 389 00:14:06,167 --> 00:14:06,467 GIRL. 390 00:14:06,467 --> 00:14:08,267 [LAUGHING] 391 00:14:08,267 --> 00:14:09,427 [BEEP] 392 00:14:09,433 --> 00:14:12,073 >> HALF WAY DOWN POPS OUT. 393 00:14:12,067 --> 00:14:12,827 THAT WON'T GO. 394 00:14:12,833 --> 00:14:14,373 >> THAT IS NO GOOD. 395 00:14:14,367 --> 00:14:15,697 >> OFF THE BACK RIM. 396 00:14:15,700 --> 00:14:16,930 IT RATTLES OUT. 397 00:14:16,933 --> 00:14:18,503 >> ZERO, ZERO SKILLS. 398 00:14:18,500 --> 00:14:21,270 >> WOW, THEY MISS ANOTHER ONE. 399 00:14:21,267 --> 00:14:24,067 0 FOR A LIFETIME AS THEY 400 00:14:24,067 --> 00:14:26,567 CONTINUE TO FIRE BRICK AFTER 401 00:14:26,567 --> 00:14:26,867 BRICK. 402 00:14:26,867 --> 00:14:29,627 >> AH, TITTIES. 403 00:14:29,633 --> 00:14:31,903 >> I'M GONNA HAVE TO USE THAT. 404 00:14:31,900 --> 00:14:34,070 >> GUSS T IS ALL TIED UP. 405 00:14:34,067 --> 00:14:37,167 >> DO OR DIE SITUATION FOR THE 406 00:14:37,167 --> 00:14:38,227 TOSH.O CHAMPIONSHIP. 407 00:14:38,233 --> 00:14:41,433 SHOT IS UP. 408 00:14:41,433 --> 00:14:43,573 >> HE GRINDS THE CHARGE. 409 00:14:43,567 --> 00:14:53,827 >> HE HAS -- 410 00:15:01,800 --> 00:15:04,470 >> AND BOOM GOES THE DYNAMITE 411 00:15:04,467 --> 00:15:11,067 [BEEP] 412 00:15:11,067 --> 00:15:11,827 [ APPLAUSE ] 413 00:15:11,833 --> 00:15:13,673 >> I WOULD LIKE TO THANKS GUSS 414 00:15:13,667 --> 00:15:15,697 JOHNSON FOR QUITTING CBS SPORTS 415 00:15:15,700 --> 00:15:17,070 TO DO OUR SHOW. 416 00:15:17,067 --> 00:15:17,897 WE WILL BE RIGHT BACK. 417 00:15:17,900 --> 00:15:19,430 FIRST IT'S OUR PRANK OF THE 418 00:15:19,433 --> 00:15:24,333 WEEK. 419 00:15:24,333 --> 00:15:25,303 >> I'M IN. 420 00:15:25,300 --> 00:15:28,100 I'M IN. 421 00:15:42,533 --> 00:15:43,233 [BEEP] 422 00:15:43,233 --> 00:15:43,873 [BEEP] 423 00:15:43,867 --> 00:15:48,367 [ APPLAUSE ] 424 00:15:48,367 --> 00:15:54,067 >> DRESS IRRESPONSIBLY PAC SUN. 425 00:15:54,067 --> 00:15:57,367 >> WHEN YOU HIT A CERTAIN AGE 426 00:15:57,367 --> 00:15:58,967 ABOUT 30 THINGS START TO HAPPEN 427 00:15:58,967 --> 00:16:01,267 WITH YOUR BODY . PARTS SHIFT, 428 00:16:01,267 --> 00:16:03,567 THEY SAG, THEY ALTER, THEY MOVE 429 00:16:03,567 --> 00:16:03,897 AROUND. 430 00:16:03,900 --> 00:16:05,600 WE HAVE TO START DOING SOMETHING 431 00:16:05,600 --> 00:16:10,530 TO PREPARE. 432 00:16:10,533 --> 00:16:13,273 >> SEE HOW IT LOOKS. 433 00:16:13,267 --> 00:16:18,527 OH ... 434 00:16:18,533 --> 00:16:21,103 >> THANKS FOR THAT AMAZING 435 00:16:21,100 --> 00:16:26,400 INVENTION HER [BEEP] FEEL LIKE 436 00:16:26,400 --> 00:16:29,070 COMING FROM A WOMAN HALF HER 437 00:16:29,067 --> 00:16:29,397 AGE. 438 00:16:29,400 --> 00:16:30,400 I INVENTED SOMETHING. 439 00:16:30,400 --> 00:16:33,630 I WENT ON SHARK TANK WHERE YOU 440 00:16:33,633 --> 00:16:38,833 PRESENT YOUR IDEA TO A PANEL OF 441 00:16:38,833 --> 00:16:39,973 RICH [BEEP]. 442 00:16:39,967 --> 00:16:42,497 >> HELLO SHARK, I'M DANIEL 443 00:16:42,500 --> 00:16:44,470 ATTORNEY I'M THE PROUD INVENTER 444 00:16:44,467 --> 00:16:45,797 OF THE HIGH TOILET. 445 00:16:45,800 --> 00:16:48,530 NOBODY WANTS YOUR MONEY ANYWAYS, 446 00:16:48,533 --> 00:16:49,503 OLD LADY. 447 00:16:49,500 --> 00:16:49,900 SORRY. 448 00:16:49,900 --> 00:16:52,670 THE PROBLEM OF TOILETS IS THE 449 00:16:52,667 --> 00:16:55,667 AMOUNT OF SPLASH THAT COMES WITH 450 00:16:55,667 --> 00:16:57,497 PINCHING A LOAF. 451 00:16:57,500 --> 00:17:00,370 NO PROBLEM THEN POOP INFESTED 452 00:17:00,367 --> 00:17:02,927 WATER HITTING YOUR SKIN WHEN YOU 453 00:17:02,933 --> 00:17:04,073 TAKE A DUMP. 454 00:17:04,067 --> 00:17:07,097 THANKS TO MY HIGH TOILET IT'S A 455 00:17:07,100 --> 00:17:08,370 THING OF THE PAST. 456 00:17:08,367 --> 00:17:11,527 IT'S AS EASY AS TAKING A RUNNING 457 00:17:11,533 --> 00:17:14,833 START, JUMPING ON A TRAMPOLINE 458 00:17:14,833 --> 00:17:17,933 AND HITTING IT ASS FIRST. 459 00:17:17,933 --> 00:17:20,803 AND NOW I WILL BEGIN POOPING 460 00:17:20,800 --> 00:17:24,600 JUST AS I WOULD AS IF I WAS ON A 461 00:17:24,600 --> 00:17:27,270 NORMAL TOILET. 462 00:17:27,267 --> 00:17:28,867 BY INCREASING THE DISTANCE 463 00:17:28,867 --> 00:17:33,327 BETWEEN MY ANUS AND TOILET WATER 464 00:17:33,333 --> 00:17:36,403 THE CHANCES OF MY PRIVATES 465 00:17:36,400 --> 00:17:40,700 GETTING FLASHED ARE LESS AND I 466 00:17:40,700 --> 00:17:42,830 GET A [BEEP] HIGH DIVE. 467 00:17:42,833 --> 00:17:45,173 I'M LOOKING FOR A TEN MILLION 468 00:17:45,167 --> 00:17:47,367 DOLLAR INVESTMENT, ONE PERCENT 469 00:17:47,367 --> 00:17:48,797 FOR MY INVENTION. 470 00:17:48,800 --> 00:17:52,470 >> I WILL GIVE YOU 50 THOUSANDS 471 00:17:52,467 --> 00:17:53,797 DOLLARS FOR 51%. 472 00:17:53,800 --> 00:17:56,970 >> I WILL NOT GIVE YOU 51% OF MY 473 00:17:56,967 --> 00:17:57,267 IDEA. 474 00:17:57,267 --> 00:17:57,897 >> I'M OUT. 475 00:17:57,900 --> 00:17:58,870 >> I'M OUT. 476 00:17:58,867 --> 00:17:59,727 >> I'M OUT. 477 00:17:59,733 --> 00:18:01,933 >> BUT MAINLY BECAUSE I'M IN THE 478 00:18:01,933 --> 00:18:02,633 SAME BUSINESS. 479 00:18:02,633 --> 00:18:05,573 >> CAN SOMEONE TELL ME WHY JEFF 480 00:18:05,567 --> 00:18:07,127 FOXWORTHY IS HERE. 481 00:18:07,133 --> 00:18:09,433 HIS MUSTACHE MAKES ME 482 00:18:09,433 --> 00:18:10,533 UNCOMFORTABLE WITH MY PANTS 483 00:18:10,533 --> 00:18:10,833 DOWN. 484 00:18:10,833 --> 00:18:13,233 >> WOULD YOU GO TO 4 MILLION? 485 00:18:13,233 --> 00:18:14,603 >> WE HAVE A DEAL. 486 00:18:14,600 --> 00:18:16,800 >> NOW SOMEONE COULD HELP ME 487 00:18:16,800 --> 00:18:18,670 DOWN AND I COULD WIPE. 488 00:18:18,667 --> 00:18:21,527 I'M STILL WORKING ON A HIGH 489 00:18:21,533 --> 00:18:24,973 TOILET FOR HANDICAP STALLS IT 490 00:18:24,967 --> 00:18:27,327 WILL INCLUDE A CATAPULT. 491 00:18:27,333 --> 00:18:31,203 DON'T FORGET TO GO TO OUR 492 00:18:31,200 --> 00:18:32,530 WEBSITE. 493 00:18:32,533 --> 00:18:35,533 THIS WEEK'S WINNER IS FROM JOSH 494 00:18:35,533 --> 00:18:35,933 FELLMAN. 495 00:18:35,933 --> 00:18:38,073 >> READY TO HAVE A BABY. 496 00:18:38,067 --> 00:18:44,367 COME ON, COME OUT, COME OUT. 497 00:18:44,367 --> 00:18:44,797 [LAUGHING] 498 00:18:44,800 --> 00:18:47,500 >> HEY! 499 00:18:47,500 --> 00:18:49,370 >> I GO BACK IN. 500 00:18:49,367 --> 00:18:50,797 >> NO. 501 00:18:50,800 --> 00:18:51,570 [LAUGHING] 502 00:18:51,567 --> 00:18:54,827 >> OH, THE BAR HAS BEEN RAISED. 503 00:18:54,833 --> 00:18:56,703 THESE VIEWER VIDEOS ARE REALLY 504 00:18:56,700 --> 00:18:57,700 GETTING GOOD. 505 00:18:57,700 --> 00:18:59,900 WE WILL BE RIGHT BACK WITH MORE 506 00:18:59,900 --> 00:19:06,300 OFFSIDES WITH DON. 507 00:19:06,300 --> 00:19:09,230 [ APPLAUSE ] 508 00:19:09,233 --> 00:19:12,073 >> WELCOME BACK. 509 00:19:12,067 --> 00:19:14,497 NEXT WEEK THE NAKED WIZARD AND 510 00:19:14,500 --> 00:19:17,430 HIS TINY PENIS GET A WEB 511 00:19:17,433 --> 00:19:22,203 REDEMPTION. 512 00:19:26,167 --> 00:19:29,297 >> GET READY BECAUSE THAT WEB 513 00:19:29,300 --> 00:19:32,470 REDEMPTION CONTAINS THE BIGGEST 514 00:19:32,467 --> 00:19:34,197 CELEBRITY CAMEO WE HAVE. 515 00:19:34,200 --> 00:19:36,570 FIND ME ON TWITTER TO LIVE CHAT 516 00:19:36,567 --> 00:19:37,767 DURING THE SHOWS. 517 00:19:37,767 --> 00:19:41,197 CHECK OUT OUR DIELY BLOG AT TOSH 518 00:19:41,200 --> 00:19:51,900 OMEDYCENTRAL.COM.TOSH.C 519 00:19:51,900 --> 00:19:54,200 TICKETS ON SALE FOR VEGAS. 520 00:19:54,200 --> 00:19:56,070 AND STUFF YOU NEVER WANT GIRLS 521 00:19:56,067 --> 00:19:56,727 TO SAY. 522 00:19:56,733 --> 00:19:58,503 >> MY PARENTS ARE SO EXCITED TO 523 00:19:58,500 --> 00:20:00,170 MEET YOU. 524 00:20:00,167 --> 00:20:04,497 >> THE THOUGHT OF COUNTING 525 00:20:04,500 --> 00:20:06,570 CALORIES AND ENJOYING MY LIFE. 526 00:20:06,567 --> 00:20:08,667 >> I THINK MY HAIR WOULD LOOK 527 00:20:08,667 --> 00:20:11,227 CUTE IF I CUT IT REALLY SHORT. 528 00:20:11,233 --> 00:20:13,733 >> I THOUGHT YOU WERE MY BEST 529 00:20:13,733 --> 00:20:14,173 FRIEND. 530 00:20:14,167 --> 00:20:15,167 EURPBLTS BIRTH CONTROL, I 531 00:20:15,167 --> 00:20:16,997 HAVEN'T TAKEN IT FOR WEEKS. 532 00:20:17,000 --> 00:20:18,870 >> LET'S TAKE A CLASS TOGETHER. 533 00:20:18,867 --> 00:20:21,127 >> HEY, I WENT THROUGH YOUR 534 00:20:21,133 --> 00:20:23,803 E-MAILS WHO IS MELISSA. 535 00:20:23,800 --> 00:20:25,400 >> GUESS WHO WAS IN THE PARKING 536 00:20:25,400 --> 00:20:27,430 LOT LAST NIGHT. 537 00:20:27,433 --> 00:20:29,833 >> WHY DON'T YOU CHAT WITH ME AT 538 00:20:29,833 --> 00:20:30,303 WORK. 539 00:20:30,300 --> 00:20:32,470 >> I GOT THE WEEKEND OFF TO 540 00:20:32,467 --> 00:20:34,027 SPEND MORE TIME TOGETHER. 541 00:20:34,033 --> 00:20:35,873 >> WILL YOU TEACH ME HOW TO DO 542 00:20:35,867 --> 00:20:36,227 SOMETHING. 543 00:20:36,233 --> 00:20:38,303 >> YOU SHOULD COME TO BIBLE 544 00:20:38,300 --> 00:20:39,830 STUDY WITH ME. 545 00:20:39,833 --> 00:20:40,903 >> HAO*EU. 546 00:20:40,900 --> 00:20:47,070 OW LONG DID YOU MAKE ITHIGH.>> H 547 00:20:47,067 --> 00:20:49,797 BEFORE YOU FOUND THOSE GIRLS 548 00:20:49,800 --> 00:20:50,230 UNATTRACTIVE. 549 00:20:50,233 --> 00:20:54,603 >> LADIES NOW IT'S YOUR TURN TO 550 00:20:54,600 --> 00:20:59,770 THINK OF THINKS YOU DON'T WANT 551 00:20:59,767 --> 00:21:00,597 GUYS TO SAY. 552 00:21:00,600 --> 00:21:03,700 I CAN'T THINK OF ANY I'M TOO 553 00:21:03,700 --> 00:21:09,930 BUSY WORKING TO PAY FOR KWR*U YOUR 554 00:21:09,933 --> 00:21:10,473 [BEEP]. 555 00:21:10,467 --> 00:21:31,267 >> 30 MORE MINUTES, 30 MORE 556 00:21:31,267 --> 00:21:34,067 >> SHABAM. 557 00:21:34,067 --> 00:21:37,397 >> DO A GREAT DUNK I WOULD SAY 558 00:21:37,400 --> 00:21:38,900 THEY'RE CHASING A RABBIT DOWN 559 00:21:38,900 --> 00:21:39,530 THE HOLE. 560 00:21:39,533 --> 00:21:40,933 >> CHASING THE RABBIT. 34588

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