Original subtitles

[screaming]

[overlapping shouting]

[laughter]

[cheers and applause]

- AW.

WHAT DO YOU BET SHE HAS A LOG RIDE IN HER PANTS TOO?

[laughter]

WELCOME TO TOSH.0.

A LOT OF YOU ARE WONDERING HOW THIS SHOW

KEEPS GETTING BETTER EVERY SINGLE WEEK.

I'LL TELL YOU. IT'S THE HOST.

THAT GUY IS SOLID.

TONIGHT ON THE SHOW,

THE HURDLE GIRLS STOP BY FOR OUR FIRST EVER WEB REMATCH,

WE DO A LITTLE SPOILER ALERT,

AND I GET IN BIG TROUBLE

WITH COMEDY CENTRAL'S HUMAN RESOURCE DEPARTMENT.

ALL RIGHT, NOW, LET'S SEE THAT CHICK BARF AGAIN.

[overlapping shouting]

OH, EVERYONE IN LINE DOWN BELOW

JUST GOT A FREE SAMPLE OF CORN DOGS.

[laughter]

THIS IS THE PERFECT TIME TO STEAL A KISS.

GO FOR IT, DUDE.

- AAH!

[audience ohs]

- YOU THINK SHE BOUGHT THE PHOTO?

[laughter]

ALL RIGHT. THAT'S DISGUSTING.

NOW GO HIT SPLASH MOUNTAIN AND RINSE OFF.

LET'S CLEAN THIS SHOW UP WITH A NICE RECITAL.

[children singing]

*

SWALLOW IT!

[children singing]

[laughter]

TWO PUKE VIDEOS IN A ROW?

I KNOW WHAT I'M DOING.

I'M GETTING BACK TO MY ROOTS.

THIS IS THE ONLY EPISODE OF GLEE

I'VE EVER BEEN ABLE TO SIT THROUGH.

REMEMBER, KIDS, VOMIT FROM THE DIAPHRAGM.

[audience ohs]

CHRISTINA AGUILERA NEEDS TO DO A LITTLE MORE OF THIS.

SHE IS HUGE.

[laughter]

SMELLS LIKE TEEN SPIRIT.

YOU KNOW WHAT SHOULDN'T BE EXTREME?

RIDING A CHAIR LIFT.

[audience ohs]

I THINK THE MOUNTAIN DEW JUST WORE OFF.

[laughter]

WHEN CHARLIE SHEEN DOES A MOUNTAIN OF COKE,

CHARLIE SHEEN DOES A MOUNTAIN OF COKE.

THAT'S HOW SARAH JESSICA PARKER HAS TO PUT ON HER MAKE-UP.

[laughter]

ALL RIGHT, NOW IT'S TIME FOR A HULA HOOP WORLD RECORD.

[cheering]

THAT IS PRETTY IMPRESSIVE.

WHY DO YOU OWN A HULA HOOP?

[laughter]

IT'S GOOD TO SEE THE GUYS FROM KORN STAYING BUSY.

[laughter]

WHEN YOU'RE DONE, YOU MIGHT WANT TO MOW YOUR DRIVEWAY.

[laughter]

THEY HAVE GRASS FOR A DRIVEWAY.

THAT'S PRETTY INSPIRING.

I THINK IT'S TIME FOR ANOTHER "I'M BETTER THAN YOU,

NA-NA NA-NA BOO-BOO, STICK YOUR HEAD IN DOO-DOO."

STOP! STOP! STOP!

THAT WAS SEVEN MEN GOING THROUGH ONE FLAMING HOOP 4 1/2 TIMES.

NA-NA NA BOO-BOO.

WE DID HAVE A COUPLE PRACTICE RUNS THAT DIDN'T GO SO SMOOTHLY,

THANKS TO OUR WEAKEST LINK, DR. JIM.

[shouting]

[laughter]

YOU'RE AWFUL!

IN CASE YOUR KEEPING SCORE,

HERE IS THE SECOND IBEX TO APPEAR ON TOSH.0.

[ibex spits]

HEY, SAY IT, DON'T SPRAY IT.

- [speaking native language]

[ibex brays]

[man continues talking]

[ibex brays]

[man talking]

[ibex brays]

[man talking]

[ibex spits]

[laughter]

- DON'T BE SO QUICK TO JUDGE, IBEX.

THAT GUY'S MAKING SOME VALID POINTS.

SURE, ARGUING WITH AN IBEX SUCKS,

BUT THE MAKE-UP SEX IS THE BEST.

WHAT'S NEXT?

[laughter]

WHAT WOULD YOU DO FOR A KLONDIKE BAR?

[laughter]

LET'S CHECK OUT THIS GIANT STICK-UP

IN THIS WEEK'S BREAKDOWN.

[cheers and applause]

NOT MANY PEOPLE ROB A PLACE WITH A WIZARD STAFF.

GUN CONTROL MUST BE WORKING.

WHAT'S THE WAITING PERIOD ON A HUMONGOUS BRANCH?

THREE DAYS.

SHOULDN'T HE HAVE WHITTLED THAT THING TO A POINT OR SOMETHING?

MAYBE HE'S JUST TRYING TO RETURN THEIR BATHROOM KEY.

[laughter]

THE CLERK JUST GRABBED A TINY HAMMER.

[laughter]

NICE.

THIS IS TURNING INTO A MEXICAN STANDOFF

BETWEEN AN INDIAN AND AN IDIOT.

HEY, LET'S TAKE A MOMENT TO DISCUSS

THE ROBBER'S CHOICE OF FOOTWEAR.

WHY ARE HIS SHOES IN BAGS?

YOU WORRIED ABOUT LEAVING FOOTPRINTS?

YEAH, I THINK THE KEY PIECE OF EVIDENCE MIGHT BE

THAT SIX FOOT LOG IN THE CORNER OF YOUR APARTMENT.

OH, WHAT'S--NOBODY GOES BEHIND THE [bleep] COUNTER!

[laughter]

HE SETS DOWN HIS BIG STICK.

I CAN'T HEAR WHAT HE'S SAYING.

I ASSUME IT'S BECAUSE HE SPEAKS SOFTLY.

[laughter]

HMM?

ALL RIGHT. THEN HE ESCAPED THROUGH THE BACK DOOR.

STOP HIM, BEFORE HE GETS TO HIS PINEWOOD DERBY GETAWAY CAR.

GREAT, NO ONE IS WATCHING THE STORE.

FREE CORN NUTS FOR EVERYONE.

AND FOR THAT WE THANK YOU.

WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH THE HURDLE GIRLS' WEB REMATCH,

BUT FIRST, HERE'S THE PARENT OF THE WEEK.

[audience ohs]

- [crying]

[audience ohs]

[starter pistol bangs]

[overlapping chatter]

- BITCHES BE TRIPPIN'.

[laughter]

AND THAT WAS GOOD ENOUGH TO GET BOTH OF THEM

INTO THE WOMEN'S SPORTS HALL OF FAME.

THAT WAS ALEXIS AND NATASHA,

AND THEY WERE COMPETING FOR THE TITLE

OF WORST HURDLER I'VE EVER SEEN.

THEY'RE LIKE A COUPLE OF LITTLE WHITE FLO-JO'S,

MINUS THE MAN BODY.

GIRLS FACE SO MANY HURDLES IN LIFE--

SCIENCE, WEIGHT, BANGS.

WHY WOULD YOU WANT TO ADD ACTUAL HURDLES TO THAT LIST?

DO COLLEGES STILL GIVE SCHOLARSHIPS

FOR TRACK AND FIELD?

GREAT, YOU CAN RUN IN A STRAIGHT LINE, HERE'S A FREE EDUCATION.

IF YOU'RE GONNA MAKE ME WATCH YOU SPRINT,

I WANT TO SEE RAY LEWIS CHASE YOU DOWN

WHILE TRYING TO STAB YOU.

TRACK IS NOT A SPORT. IT'S AN EXERCISE.

THERE ARE TOO MANY RACES-- THE 60-METER, 100-METER.

WE NEED ANOTHER EVENT JUST SO YOU CAN RUN EIGHT MORE STEPS?

THE TRIPLE JUMP IS JUST THE LONG JUMP'S GAY, PRANCING COUSIN.

POLE-VAULTING IS ONLY USEFUL IF YOU'RE STORMING CASTLES,

AND THE JAVELIN WOULD BE MORE FUN TO WATCH

IF THERE WERE A CATCHER.

YOU KNOW WHO I FEEL BAD FOR?

BRUCE JENNER. YEAH.

HE WENT FROM BEING AN OLYMPIC HERO

TO THIS FISH-FACED OLD WOMAN WHO HAS TO SIT AROUND

AND LISTEN TO THOSE REALITY WHORE STEPDAUGHTERS

YAP ABOUT THEIR BOYFRIENDS WHO PLAY REAL SPORTS.

ALEXIS AND NATASHA WERE JUST DOING

WHAT THEIR PARENTS FORCED THEM TO DO.

BUT I THINK ATHLETES OF THAT CALIBER

NEED TO GO HEAD-TO-HEAD AGAIN.

SO I BROUGHT THEM OUT TO L.A.

FOR A SHOT AT TOSH.0-LYMPIC GOLD

IN OUR FIRST EVER WEB REMATCH.

[cheers and applause]

ALL RIGHT.

A LITTLE GIRL ON GIRL THIS TIME.

NO, I'M KIDDING.

UNLESS YOU WANT TO.

THERE.

- OKAY. YOU.

- WHO MADE THAT VIDEO?

- MY FATHER.

- HOW NOT PROUD OF YOU WAS HE THAT DAY?

- HE WAS VERY PROUD.

- DOES HE HAVE A SON?

- YES, MY YOUNGER BROTHER.

- WHEW!

- YEAH.

- WAS THAT A SPECIAL OLYMPICS QUALIFYING MEET?

- NO.

- HOW DID YOU ACTUALLY MAKE THE TRACK TEAM?

- UH, THERE WEREN'T TRYOUTS.

- AH.

WAS THAT THE FIRST TRACK MEET OF THE SEASON?

- YEAH.

- AND YOU FINISHED OUT THE SEASON?

- I ONLY RAN THE HURDLES ONE MORE TIME.

- AND BEFORE, THE COACH WAS LIKE,

"HEY, MAYBE THIS ISN'T YOUR THING."

[laughter]

AT WHAT HURDLE, NATASHA,

DID YOU KNOW THAT YOU PROBABLY WEREN'T GONNA WIN?

- UH, PROBABLY THAT ONE THAT I SLID.

- SO YOU WERE STILL CONFIDENT AT THE FOURTH

THAT YOU COULD CATCH THOSE PEOPLE?

- NOT THAT I COULD WIN FIRST PLACE.

JUST NOT BE LAST.

- OH, IS THAT WHAT WOMEN RACE FOR?

TO NOT BE LAST?

ALL RIGHT, ALEXIS. - YEAH.

- WALK ME THROUGH WHAT YOU WERE THINKING DURING THE RACE.

- I DIDN'T THINK I WAS GONNA WIN.

BUT I DIDN'T THINK I WAS GONNA FALL ON ABOUT FIVE OF THEM.

AND THEN I COULDN'T GET MY SPEED BACK UP

TO GET OVER THE REST, SO I JUST KEPT FALLING.

- DO YOU JUMP A LOT HIGHER WHEN YOU'RE MOVING QUICKLY?

- YEAH. - YOU HAVE A BETTER JUMP.

'CAUSE YOU CAN'T JUST, LIKE, STAND IN FRONT OF A HURDLE

AND JUMP OVER IT.

- WELL, YOU CAN IF YOU'RE AN ATHLETE.

[laughter]

- YES.

- ALEXIS, DID YOU KNOW

WHEN YOU WERE STRUGGLING OVER EVERY SINGLE HURDLE

THAT THERE WAS SOMEONE JUST TWO LANES AWAY EQUALLY AWFUL?

- NO. I HAD NO IDEA.

- DOES THAT MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER?

- KIND OF, YEAH.

- DID PEOPLE SINGLE YOU OUT

AND WRITE THINGS ABOUT YOU, YOUR PERFORMANCE?

- YEAH, ONE OF THEM,

THEY CALLED ME "LITTLE RED SLIDING HOOD."

[laughter]

- THAT'S PRETTY GOOD. I SHOULD WRITE THAT DOWN.

[laughter]

DO YOU THINK AT ANY POINT YOUR PARENTS WERE JUMPING UP,

LIKE, "THAT'S MY KID!

"THE ONE THAT'S ON THE GROUND AGAIN.

AND AGAIN."

WHO CAME IN LAST THAT DAY?

- UM, I THINK SHE DID.

- YEAH, 'CAUSE I GOT DISQUALIFIED.

- SO THAT DOESN'T REALLY COUNT.

SO WE DON'T REALLY KNOW

WHO THE WORST IS OUT OF THE TWO OF YOU?

- NO.

- OOH, OOH! UP HERE. - DANIEL.

- ARE EITHER ONE OF YOU ON STEROIDS RIGHT NOW?

- NO. - NO.

- WOULD YOU BOTH BE WILLING

TO TAKE A DRUG TEST?

- YES. - YES.

- HERE YOU GO. - OH, THANK YOU.

- YOU'RE WELCOME. - ALL RIGHT.

LET'S HAVE A LOOK.

[sniffs]

[audience ohs]

AHH!

SHE'S CLEAN.

- SORRY, I REALLY HAD TO GO.

- GOOD LORD.

LET'S GO, LADIES. YOU ARE LATE FOR PRACTICE.

AT LEAST ONE OF US DRESSED APPROPRIATELY.

I WANT TO INTRODUCE YOU TO CELEBRITY TRAINER DONKEY KONG.

[laughter]

HE'S GONNA HELP YOU WITH YOUR HURDLING.

YOU READY? - YES.

- LET'S GET TO IT. THANKS, DONKEY.

WAIT! DON'T FORGET YOUR OVERSIZED MALLET.

[video game music]

*

ALL RIGHT, GIRLS, YOU READY FOR YOUR WEB REMATCH?

- YES. - YES.

- ONE LAST THING-- YOU ARE GONNA BE COMPETING

AGAINST GIRLS THAT ARE REALLY GOOD AT THE HURDLES.

GOOD LUCK.

ON YOUR MARK,

GET SET...

[laughter]

[gunshot]

GO FOR IT! JUMP! JUMP!

THERE YOU GO! GO! TURN IT ON!

GOOD JOB.

AND HERE ARE YOUR MEDALS.

A LITTLE KNOWN FACT-- FOURTH PLACE IS WOOD

AND LAST PLACE IS CONFLICT DIAMONDS.

CONGRATULATIONS. YOU ARE THE WORLD'S WORST HURDLER.

HOLD ON. HERE YOU GO.

CONGRATULATIONS.

[video game music]

[cheers and applause]

REMEMBER, IT'S NOT WHETHER YOU WIN OR LOSE,

BUT IF YOU WERE THE FASTEST WHITE PERSON.

WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK, BUT FIRST,

HERE'S R. KELLY'S FAVORITE SUPERHERO.

- GO FOR IT. YOU CAN DO IT.

COME ON, YOU CAN DO IT.

[audience ohs]

[laughter]

- * I BELIEVE I CAN FLY

[cheers and applause]

[cheers and applause]

- AH, IT'S TIME FOR EVERYONE'S FAVORITE MOVIE SEGMENT.

SPOILER ALERT.

THIS WEEK'S MOVIE WAS A LITTLE HOLLYWOOD GEM

WITH A-LIST ACTORS

THAT THEY TRIED TO BURY ON US CALLED TIPTOES.

NOW, THE TRAILER'S BEEN POPULAR ON THE INTERNET FOR YEARS.

A LOT OF PEOPLE THINK IT'S A JOKE,

BUT MATTHEW MCCONAUGHEY IS NEVER FUNNY ON PURPOSE.

SO IF YOU DON'T WANT TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENS,

TURN THE CHANNEL NOW--

PREFERABLY TO ANOTHER STATION IN THE VIACOM FAMILY.

I WANT TO START BY TELLING YOU WHO'S IN THIS MOVIE.

MATTHEW MCCONAUGHEY, KATE BECKINSALE.

MATTHEW COMES IN. HE'S DRESSED TO THE NINES.

"I JUST HAVE THIS THING AND YOU'RE NOT INVITED."

AND SHE'S LIKE, "OH, WELL, WHY DON'T I BLOW YOU?"

AT THIS MOMENT, I'M LIKE, THIS MOVIE MIGHT BE OKAY.

YOU MEET HIS MOM FOR THE FIRST TIME.

SHE'S NOT REALLY MAD THAT HE'S LATE.

SHE'S REALLY MAD THAT HIS TWIN BROTHER,

WHO IS GARY OLDMAN, IS LATE.

HERE'S THE BIG THING-- GARY OLDMAN,

HE'S PLAYING A LITTLE PERSON IN THIS.

- AND IN THE ROLE OF A LIFETIME...

- SO WHAT DOES HE DO?

THEY JUST CRUDELY HAVE HIM, LIKE,

JUST PULL YOUR ARMS BACK A LITTLE BIT.

[laughter]

IT'S NOT HARD FOR A LITTLE PERSON TO FIND A PLACE TO HIDE.

MATTHEW MCCONAUGHEY COMES HOME AND SHE'S LIKE,

"WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?" AND HE'S LIKE, "OH, NOWHERE."

"I THINK I MIGHT BE PREGNANT."

WHEN HE'S ASLEEP, THAT'S WHEN HE GOES IN BARE.

LIKE, JUST LIKE-- I THINK HE WAS

JUST GOING DOWNSTAIRS TO DO CRUNCHES.

I DON'T KNOW.

AND HE'S WEARING TIGHT WHITE BRIEFS.

HE LOOKS INCREDIBLE.

THERE'S NO DENYING THAT. THAT'S A GOOD LOOKING MAN.

AND WHO IS IT? IT'S BRIDGET THE MIDGET.

DAVID ALAN GRIER IS [bleep] HER.

[laughter]

HE'S LIKE, "OH, WELL, I'M HIS TWIN BROTHER."

"WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME THAT YOU HAVE A FAMILY OF MIDGETS?"

AND HE'S LIKE, "WHOA! THEY ARE LITTLE PEOPLE."

THEN THE NEXT TIME IN THE BED,

SHE'S LIKE, "OH." SO SHE SAYS, "LITTLE PEOPLE."

AND HE GOES, "OH, YOU'RE LEARNING THE LANGUAGE.

"THAT'S REALLY GOOD."

"I [bleep] NEED A CREPE!"

AND HE'S LIKE, "WELL, ONCE, WHEN I WAS A KID,

YOU KNOW, WE WERE JUST PLAYING GAMES AND STUFF."

AND SHE'S LIKE, "OH, YOU WERE IN A CIRCLE JERK?

I WOULD HAVE LOVED TO HAVE SEEN THAT."

- YOU HAD A CIRCLE JERK WITH A BUNCH OF LITTLE PEOPLE?

I WOULD HAVE LOVED TO SEE THAT.

[laughter]

- YEAH. SEE, THAT JUST GAVE ME SOME CREDIBILITY.

AND IN WALKS THE DOCTOR, WHO'S A LITTLE PERSON.

[laughter]

MATTHEW SEES IT'S A LITTLE PERSON BABY

IN THE DELIVERY ROOM,

JUST STARTS PUNCHING THE WALL.

THAT IS IMMEDIATELY AFTER HE HAD HIS FIRST SON.

THEN THE CONVERSATION CAME UP,

WOULD I HAVE SEX WITH A LITTLE PERSON?

OH, BUT IT'D LOOK LIKE A MONSTER EATING YOU.

AND HE STARTS SCREAMING AT HER, "OUR BABY'S A DWARF.

"I THINK IT'S GONNA BE BETTER FOR YOU AND THE KID

IF I JUST, JUST LEAVE."

YEAH, YEAH, THAT'S WHAT MOST, MOST MOTHERS--

"YOU KNOW WHAT WOULD BE EASY? IF I COULD DO THIS ALONE."

[laughter]

YOU THINK HE'S GONNA GET HIS [bleep] TOGETHER.

AND BY THE WAY, THAT'S THE LOOPHOLE

IN THE FUTURE OF CAR POOL LANE CARS.

OH, AND THEN LOOKS AT HIS PARTNER.

HE GOES, "I HOPE YOU'RE NOT MAD AT ME,

BUT, LIKE, YOU'LL TAKE CARE OF IT?"

[laughter]

AT THIS POINT, YOU CAN'T HELP BUT MAKE A SNOW WHITE

AND THE SEVEN DWARFS REFERENCE.

SHE LOOKS AT HIM AND HE LOOKS AT HER, AND THEN SHE GOES,

"YOU CAN KISS ME IF YOU WANT."

AND THE MOVIE ENDS.

[laughter]

AND THAT'S TIPTOES.

YEAH, NO.

[cheers and applause]

I'M SURE WE HAD TO CUT SOME OF THAT OUT.

TO SEE THE COMPLETE SPOILER ALERT,

HEAD ON OVER TO OUR BLOG, AND WHILE YOU'RE THERE,

UPLOAD A CLIP FOR A CHANCE TO BE OUR VIEWER VIDEO.

THIS WEEK'S WINNER COMES TO US FROM THE BIRTHDAY BOYS.

- [screams]

[screams]

[knocks]

- WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH MORE DOG BITES MAN.

[applause]

[applause]

- WELCOME BACK, TONY HAWK.

EVERYONE KNOWS ABOUT "CASUAL FRIDAYS,"

BUT I STARTED A NEW PHENOMENON

THAT'S BOOSTING WORKPLACE MORALE ACROSS AMERICA.

IT'S CALLED "INAPPROPRIATE TOUCH TUESDAYS."

EMBRACE IT!

SEE HOW LONG YOU CAN KEEP YOUR HANDS UP, OKAY?

- YEAH.

- OKAY.

[laughter]

THAT'S NOT REALLY LONG.

[indistinct].

HERE, TAKE OFF YOUR SHIRT. - NO. NO.

OH, NO! THAT'S WEIRD.

NO, NO, NO! NO INAPPROPRIATE TOUCH!

NO! NO! I SAID NO!

[laughter]

- I'M NOT SURE IF THAT "NO" WAS LEGALLY BINDING.

[laughter]

"INAPPROPRIATE TOUCH TUESDAY"

IS FOLLOWED BY "NO EYE CONTACT WEDNESDAY."

NEXT WEEK, THE FOUL BALL COUPLE GETS A WEB REDEMPTION.

[crowd cheering]

[musical fanfare]

- OH, MY. - YOU GOTTA BE KIDDING ME.

- MAYBE SHE WAS PREGNANT.

[laughter]

HEY, BE SURE YOU FOLLOW ME ON TWITTER

SO WE CAN LIVE CHAT DURING THE SHOWS.

KEEP UP WITH OUR DAILY BLOG OVER AT TOSH.COMEDYCENTRAL.COM.

AND MY NEW STAND-UP SPECIAL HAPPY THOUGHTS

PREMIERES MARCH 6TH.

WE HAVE SOME BEHIND-THE-SCENES FOOTAGE

FROM THE ENTIRE TOSH TOUR.

THERE'S MORE TO COME,

BUT HERE ARE SOME OF MY FAVORITE MOMENTS.

ALL RIGHT, CAN WE PUT THE CAMERA OFF FOR A LITTLE BIT NOW?

WANT TO KEEP THE CAMERA AWAY? TURN THE CAMERA OFF.

TURN IT OFF. TURN THAT CAMERA OFF.

SERIOUSLY, TURN THAT OFF.

PUT THE STUPID [bleep] CAMERA AWAY.

WHY ARE YOU FILMING THIS? PUT IT DOWN, PLEASE.

ALL RIGHT, TURN THIS OFF. NO. TURN THE CAMERA OFF.

LOOK AT THIS. TURN THAT OFF.

TURN THE CAMERA OFF.

TURN THIS OFF. I DON'T WANT THE CAMERA.

IS THE CAMERA ON NOW? STOP FILMING MY MOM.

GO [bleep] YOURSELF. PUT THE CAMERA DOWN.

NO FILMING. ALL RIGHT, LET'S NOT FILM.

LET'S NOT FILM. PUT THE CAMERA AWAY.

YOU'RE GOING TO WANT THAT OFF.

- GOD!

[laughs] OW!

- I THINK THE DOCUMENTARY IS FINISHED.

- IT IS? - CUT.

SEE YOU NEXT WEEK.

SHUT THAT CAMERA OFF.

[cheers and applause]

Captioning by CaptionMax www.captionmax.com

- WHICH ONE OF YOU IS FASTER?

- I RAN CROSS-COUNTRY.

- WHOO.

- I WASN'T THAT FAST.

- WHAT WAS YOUR BEST EVENT?

- PROBABLY THE FOUR BY ONE.

- OH, YEAH? WERE YOU THE ANCHOR?

- [laughs] NO.

- WHY DO THE PEOPLE HAVE STOP WATCHES?

WERE THERE RECORDS IN JEOPARDY OF BEING BROKEN THAT DAY?

- I DON'T THINK SO.

- IT DOESN'T MATTER WHETHER YOU WIN OR LOSE

AS LONG AS YOU HAVE FUN, RIGHT?

- YEAH.

[both girls laugh]

- IT MATTERS, IT MATTERS.

YOU SHOULD TRY TO WIN.