All language subtitles for The.Real.Housewives.Of.Beverly.Hills.S09E22.WEBRip.x264-ION10

[keys clacking]

- The reunion is going great.
It's major.

- I paid the ultimate price
by being honest.

Sorry, I can't talk right now
for a second.

[dramatic music]

- There's major things
happening.

- There's trouble afoot?

- There's trouble afoot
in Beverly Hills.

- You have to shut
the (BLEEP) up.

- We've all said things
privately about each other.

I would never out you.

If I did right now, it would be
a very bad situation.

- Denise, stop it.
It is not true.

- Lisa Vanderpump's not here.

It's major.
- Oh.

Has she not been there
at all for this reunion?

♪ ♪

- I want to know how she found
the lie detector.

- She did a test run first.

- The (BLEEP) man?

- You know who is here?

Camille.
- No!

- She told me to tell
my daughter

she was a ----ing liar.
- What?

- We're breaking a lot
of news today in Beverly Hills.

- Ooh.

- He used to go to Vegas
as a very young man.

They'd send up a couple
of back-scratchers.

I mean--
[laughter]

- So how big is it?
- Compare it to this shoe.

- No, I--it's actually bigger
than your shoe.

[all yelling]

- I pride myself on being
an honest person.

- But you were lying.

Why do you think that Erika
doesn't want to be around you?

- What?
- Honey, it's coming.

Bring it on.

- That's nasty!
You don't come to my wedding

and then treat me
so disrespectful after it.

- That's such a ----ing
low blow.

- It's just kind of rude.

- You're talking out
of your ass.

- My husband did not scam
anyone,

and I don't appreciate that.

- This is hypocrisy
at its finest right now.

- No, Camille.
- Camille, calm down.

- I don't like her either.
- For (BLEEP) sake.

- Denise, shut up.
I mean, I can't--

- Don't tell her
to shut up.

- Is she on something?

[dramatic musical sting]

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- You look great.

- Thank you!
- Yeah.

- You look so good.
- I'm in a wig!

- We knew you'd have some
clips, but holy sh--.

- Yay!

- Welcome.

- Okay, clear the set.
We are rolling.

- Are you drinking Casamigos?
- Mm-hmm.

- Five, four...
- Oh!

- Three, two...

♪ ♪

- Hey, everybody.

Welcome to the "Real Housewives
of Beverly Hills" reunion.

I'm Andy Cohen,
along with the elegant

and enchanting housewives
of Beverly Hills.

Hi, ladies.

- Hi!
- Hi, Andy.

- Denise, welcome
to your first reunion.

- Thank you.
I'm excited.

- That's such a newbie
thing to say.

- Oh, well.
- It's a good attitude.

- Thank you.

- Hi, Dorit.
- Hi, Andy.

- Love your look today.
- Thank you.

- You always bring it,
don't you?

- I do. I enjoy it.
[laughter]

- Along with her modesty.

- Hey, Erika.
- Hi, honey.

- What do we call this look?
- Fabulous. Fabulous.

You gotta switch it up.
You gotta change it up.

- It's like Mrs. Wiggins
for 2019.

- You know what?

I'm gonna take that
as a huge compliment.

- It is. It is.
- You should. You should.

- Hi, Teddi.
- Hi.

- What a difference
a year makes.

- What are you trying to say
about last year?

- I don't know.
- Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

- Has your dad been into
the show this season?

- Oh, yes.
He called already today.

- Really?
- He said,

"One, don't have
your boobs hanging out."

- Oh.
- "Two, Mellencamps don't cry."

- He wants you to stay tough.

Hi, Rinna.
- Hi, Andy.

- Wow, look at you.
- Look at me.

- You ditched that hairdo.

Somewhere Brandi Glanville
is toasting you.

- I doubt that, actually,

but it's been the year
of the--of the wig.

- Last but not least, hi, Kyle.

- Hi, Andy.
- Great to see you.

- Thank you.
- Love that neon.

- Thank you, very '80s today.
- I loved the '80s.

- So did I.
- I did too.

- That was the best.
- I loved the '80s.

- Well, obviously someone
is missing today.

Lisa Vanderpump
told a reporter yesterday

she wouldn't be attending
the reunion...

And also that she won't be
returning

as a housewife next season.

This brings to mind
season three reunion,

when Adrienne Maloof
didn't show.

Adrienne Maloof's final act
as a housewife

is not showing up tonight.

- Wow.

- Ladies, what's your reaction
to that?

- I think she changed
the boundaries,

so I think if you sign up
to do a reality show,

you have to be prepared
to open up your life.

What Brandi did wasn't
to expose what many of us knew.

It was to expose the fact
that she consistently lied.

That was the point.

- Is it cowardly
not coming today?

- I think it's a mistake
as well

because I think she's leaked
stories to the press

saying that she wanted to quit,
and I don't believe that.

I believe she wanted to stay,

and I think
she should have come,

cleared up the mess,
and moved on.

- Wow.

- If Adrienne's final act
as a housewife

was not showing up
at the reunion,

it seems like Lisa's final act
as a housewife

was telling a reporter
she wasn't showing up

and then not coming.

I sure wish she was here.

- Well, I think she gave
that interview yesterday

so that she could say she quit

because she knew
that if she didn't

show up here today
that you would probably

do the same thing that you
had to do with Adrienne

and fire her, so she was
preempting getting "fired"

by saying she quit yesterday.

Do you think I wanted
to show up when Kim and I--

I was crying so hard
I was hyperventilating?

- Where did your anger
come from that night?

- Um...

I really don't--
I don't want to do this.

I don't want to do this.

I didn't want to be there
that day, but I did.

- In her statement yesterday,
Lisa Vanderpump said

the objective of a reunion
is to reunite, and, quote,

"I have no inclination
to reunite with the women

who've been harassing me
for ten months."

Dorit, how do you feel about

Lisa accusing you
of harassing her?

- How do you harass someone

that you have no contact with
whatsoever?

- None of these women, I think,

have even seen her
since Denise's wedding.

- She literally pinched
my butt, and we were giggling.

Who just grabbed my ass?
Oh!

- How are you?
- I'm good, how are you?

- After the initial article
came out yesterday,

there was another piece in,
of all places, "Radar Online."

- No, you're kidding.
- Really?

- Where a source close to Lisa
said that she is, quote,

"being burned at the stake,
nailed to the cross,

and stoned by her co-stars
all at the same time."

Erika, how do--how do you
respond to this source?

- Get off the cross.
We need the wood.

- [laughs]

- The "Radar Online" source
also said, quote,

"Lisa always wins."

Kyle, is she winning
by not being here today?

- No. I think that it was

really a big mistake
not to be here.

If she had been here today,
we would have all loved

to have been able
to work through it

even if it meant
agreeing to disagree.

Right, ladies?
Don't you think?

- Of course.
- None of us have said anything.

- I don't think she
is capable

of agreeing to disagree.
I think that's the issue.

- Well, she drew a line
in the sand

and said she wasn't.
- Right.

- About this--this issue.

Teddi, you were quoted
as saying

that your gut was telling you
that Lisa would come today.

- I still feel like there's
a chance she will show up.

- Really?
- I can't imagine

that she won't show up for some
sort of dramatics or something.

- You feel the same way?

You think she's gonna walk
through the door?

- I keep looking
at the back door there.

- She should show up.

- Kyle, I know that you are
holding out a little hope

because you brought
something with you.

- I've had this birthday
present,

you know, since September,
so I thought,

"Well, I might as well
bring it today," but obviously

if she doesn't come today,
I'm just--have it delivered.

- If she doesn't come today,
I'm opening it.

- Oh, my God.
- What is it--you brought it?

- Yeah.
I'm not gonna open it.

- Why do you think
she didn't show up?

- Today?
- Mm-hmm.

- I think that she doesn't want
to face any of us

because she has been unmasked.

The fact that she was
called out

with what originally happened
at Vanderpump Dogs--

Why does--why would you do that
to someone that you care about?

That was the biggest issue.

- Because you don't
care about them.

- So I think
that she can't face that,

so she's focusing
on the "Radar"

over and over and over again

so we can not talk about
what actually happened

at Vanderpump Dogs.

- Coming up...
- Denise is a saint.

It was a really difficult time.
It was in the press.

- But it was a snippet of
what was really going on.

[energetic music]

♪ ♪

- It would probably be more
tense if Lisa was here.

- Oh, of course it would be.

- I'm expecting a stunt

of the most dramatic
proportions,

and I'll be fully disappointed
if it does not happen.

- [British accent]
It was just so hurtful.

- Hello.
- How are you?

- I'm good. Stressed.

- Thank you.
- Okay.

Right next to--oh.

- Okay, we're rolling.

- Quiet on set, please.
Rolling.

- Lisa Rinna, you and Harry

got into a heated
Twitter battle

with Nicollette Sheridan
about Michael Bolton.

What was that about?
I was very intrigued by this.

- Well, I said that Nicollette
went off with Michael Bolton

after this
Hollywood Bowl concert.

So Harry's in Muskoka,

and Harry woke up
in the middle of the night

and he felt really strange
and he was like,

"I gotta go home."

Got back to the house,

and there was a love note
in the trash can.

She's gonna tweet
about this like crazy.

- Okay.
- You know she is.

Honey, it's coming.
Bring it on.

- Oh, my--
- And it was in the trash can,

and she had gone and slept
with Michael Bolton that night.

She was at his hotel.
She will deny it,

but without Michael Bolton,
we would not have our life!

Thank you, Michael Bolton!

- So what was Nicollette

tweeting at you guys,
just this is not true?

- Oh, she said it was fake news.
- Fake news?

And then as a result of this,
of course,

you know the tweets
I was getting, right?

- Of course.
"Bring her on the show."

- Yes.
- "Bring her on the show."

But, you know, Denise's husband
was married to Nicollette also.

I have to say that.
- Yeah, no, it's true.

- Oh, right. Aaron was married
to Nicollette.

- Yes.
- This is so crazy.

- So...

- You guys have had a lot
of crossover.

- Yeah.
- Right?

- They've swapped
a lot of saliva.

- Yeah.
- The four of them.

- So it's very interesting--
- You are making

a compelling case for her
to be on the show.

- Andy, Andy, Andy.
- Yes?

- You know, I did meet her--
No, I'm just kidding.

- Andy, Andy, Andy.

- Well, this wild thing swears
like a trooper

and drinks tequila
like the world is not enough,

all while making ripped jeans
and a ponytail

look drop-dead gorgeous.

The name's Richards,
Denise Richards.

[laughter]

- Yes!
- Aah!

- Yes!
[laughter]

- Oh!
- That's so good.

- We go back
so many different lifetimes.

We've gone through
the modeling together.

We went through
acting together.

- There she is.
- Oh, God.

- Oh, you guys look so pretty.
- Oh, my God, those shorts.

- At least Camille said
something nice.

- Was that nice?

- I don't know.
Maybe not.

- This was me dressed up.
- To each their own.

- These girls even dress up
for breakfast?

They're lucky
I put a ----ing bra on.

- I like the dress.
- You do?

- Popping around
in your romper.

- You don't know
any Spanish?

- I mean, I know hola.
- I even know that.

- I have two teenage
daughters, Sami and Lola,

and their father
is Charlie Sheen.

- Weezy.

I know, I'm gonna take you
to get your nails done.

I have a daughter, Eloise,
and I adopted her,

when she was born,
as a single mom.

There was a rumor at one point

that Eloise was Charlie's child
with a hooker,

and that's false.

- How are things
with Charles?

- When I was going through
my divorce with Charlie,

I was on the cover
of all these tabloids.

It's embarrassing
and humiliating and awful,

and you feel like you need
to defend yourself.

I never anticipated
the journey I would be on

after our divorce,
let me just say that.

- Mom, it's a big deal
getting asked to homecoming.

- You can't date until
you're 16 years old.

- I have a question.
- Yeah, what?

- If a guy asks me to go to
the homecoming dance,

am I allowed to say yes?

- I'll trust your judgment.
- All right, well, whatever.

- You're mad.
- I'm not mad.

- Yeah, I proved you wrong.
- I disagree.

- Okay.

- I'm amazed by
how chill you are.

What is Charlie's reaction
to you being on the show?

- He was very supportive
when I told him I was doing it,

and there were
a couple things I said

that he wasn't
super happy about.

- Why, what did you say?

- Well, I had said
that there was a time

he brought--he called her
a lady of the night,

a hooker, prostitute,
whatever she is.

- Yes.
- And she was lovely.

- Oh, to Thanksgiving?
- Yeah, to Thanksgiving.

Charlie came over
for Thanksgiving

for dinner a few years ago,

and he had a hooker
in the car in the driveway.

[sighs] I said, "I'll set
a ----ing plate."

- You have a thing
for bad boys.

- Uh-uh.
No, I ----ing don't.

- Yeah, you do.

- Even a hooker deserves
to have Thanksgiving dinner.

I said, "Well, I didn't know
it was a secret.

You've been so public..."
- Right.

- "And open about
your ladies of the night,"

and he goes, "Well,
I'm in a different place."

I go, "But people love you
because you are honest,

and that is
a big part of your past."

- Renee from Seattle said,
"Erika, you're a fashionista.

"What do you think
about Denise's

laid-back sense of style?"

- I think it's great.
Everybody should be themselves,

and if she chooses to do
something different,

she ha--you know?

- Well, I want to play
in your closet one day.

- You can come anytime.
- Thank you.

I have dressed up,
but my day-to-day,

as everyone has seen,

I'm really a jeans and
a tank top and T-shirt person.

- Were you surprised when
you showed up in the Bahamas

and the women
were all tricked out?

- Yeah, because I had
crystal shorts on,

and for me they were fancy,
so yeah.

- Nikki from New Jersey said,
"Denise,

"it seems like most women
would need years of therapy

"to deal with Charlie Sheen,

"but nothing about you
seems like a victim.

How are you so good
at hanging with crazy?"

[light chuckles]

- He's my daughters' dad,

and we've been divorced
for 14 years.

- Okay.
- And everything was so crazy--

- Your life, actually,
with him maybe got crazier,

even, after you split up.
- It did get crazier,

and I did not want
our daughters to be privy

to anything that was negative
going on in his life.

After he was diagnosed
with HIV,

the kids did not know
at that point.

I moved in the neighborhood
where he was living,

and being that close to him,
it was very hard.

But anytime
that something would go on

at the house or with him,

he knew he could call me
at 2:00 in the morning,

and I would be there
no matter what.

And a lot of people
judge me for that,

but I wanted him to be the best
dad he could be for him,

for our girls and preserve that

because I have such an amazing
relationship with my father,

so that's why
I always did that.

I'm not a saint,
and I--I do my best,

and I've made a lot
of mistakes with Charlie,

but I think that
it's best to not talk

in such a negative manner
about your children's father

because they're the ones
that suffer ultimately.

- Rinna, you were friends
with Denise through all that.

What--what was
that experience like?

- Well, Denise is a saint,

and I have such respect
for Denise

because it was
a really difficult time.

It was in the press.
It was so public, and--

- But it was a snippet
of what was really going on.

- Right.
- You know?

- Jeez, wow.
- It really was.

- One thing that you said
that really struck me was that

you really could have taken him
to the cleaners in the divorce.

I mean, you could have gotten
a lot more, you said.

- Yeah, I mean, I didn't have
a prenup with Charlie,

and, you know, he got
"Two and a Half Men"

while we were married,
and he had--

- Whoa.
- A big portion of that show.

I never went after half.
- You could have wound up--

you could have wound up
asking for, like,

a piece of his ownership
of that show.

- Oh, yeah, and half
of what he--

- Half.
- Half, yeah.

- And he made a lot of money
off of it.

He had a piece of the show.
- Mm.

How does Aaron
get along with Charlie?

- They actually do get along,
and when we got married,

Aaron called Charlie

to let him know
that we were getting married.

- Wow.
- That's nice.

- Out of respect that he was

gonna be a stepdad
to our girls and--

- That's nice.
- Yeah, they get along.

- Very cool.

- Eloise.
- Yes.

- How is she doing?
- She's doing really good.

- Yeah.
- Yeah. Thank you.

- What does she have?

- Eloise has a chromosome
disorder.

She has a deletion
in chromosome eight,

which has caused
many delays with her,

and it's caused a lot
with speech, development.

- How old was she
when you found that out?

- We found out probably
two years ago exactly.

It was a very difficult thing
to diagnose.

She went through a lot of--

- So she was
missing milestones?

- Yes. It was really hard.

When I saw what was written
on the medical report

to get the blood test and all
the testing done, it was--

it was hard to see it in
black and white, to be honest.

- It had to be emotional.
- It was.

- Yeah.
- [voice breaks] Sorry.

[solemn music]

♪ ♪

And it's just hard to see
with your kid, you know?

- Coming up...

Dorit, Judy wants to know

how your gigantic
breast implants

affect your mammograms.

- [stammers]

- "Gigantic breast implants"?
- Well!

- Eloise.

- Eloise.
- Yes.

- What does she have?

- Eloise has
a chromosome disorder.

She has a deletion
in chromosome eight,

which has caused
many delays with her.

[voice breaks]
Sorry.

[somber music]

And it's just hard to see
with your kid, you know?

And I look at other--like,
a two-year-old who can talk,

and she can't.

She wants to, but the thing is
she's such a free spirit

and so happy that she doesn't,
you know, know.

It's a hard--it's
a really weird thing.

I can't even explain it.

- What has she taught you?

- She's just taught me, like,

you can communicate
without verbally speaking.

She is a bright light,

and she--she'll hear music
in shopping and start dancing,

and she's so free and doesn't
care who's watching,

and it's--I love that
about her,

but it's also
taught me patience.

You know,
I have to watch her 24/7.

She's had swimming lessons
since the time she's born.

If she fell in our pool,

she would not be able
to save herself,

and she's eight, so that kind
of stuff is a little difficult,

but the other stuff,
she's just a bright light.

- Dorit, this is really
getting to you.

- Oh, it's so hard for me
to hear.

- Why?

- Well, Jagger
was a delayed speaker.

Jagger, want to wear jeans?
Jeans? No?

Do you want
to wear your bowtie?

No, Mama.

Jagger did reach milestones,

and he's five,
and he's doing exceptional,

and he's talking, and--
but I'm listening to it,

and I understand
just as a mother, I mean,

your--your biggest job in life
is to protect your children

and to take care of them, and--

- And kids are mean.
- They are mean.

- It starts young.
- Oh, yeah.

- And she is a special girl.
You can tell, Denise...

- She's a very sweet spirit.
- And she has a great mom.

- She--thank you.
- That's nice.

All right, let's change topics.

Well, chaos and anxiety
seem to follow Kyle Richards

wherever she goes,

but when life gives her limes
and tequila,

she holds the salt
and makes margaritas.

- Your sisters are actually
killing me right now.

Now where's my husband?

They're gonna get out
of the gate.

- Hey, Storm!

- This is every day
of my life.

Honey, run! Romeo, get
in the house right now!

- This is every second
I see you.

- I always feel like my life
is like whack-a-mole, you know?

It's like, you pop one thing,
and then another one pops up.

I'm just like this
all day long.

My one eye is bigger
than the other.

It's, like,
tickling on this side.

I suffer from generalized
anxiety disorder.

It could be a thyroid.
It could be--

- No, no.
- Botox.

It could be
a brain tumor.

I automatically
imagine the worst.

- Nervous?

- I just get nervous
every time,

but it's just psychological
'cause of losing my mom.

The reason my mom died
of breast cancer

is because she didn't go
get a mammogram for five years.

- Is everything okay?
- Well, we'll find out.

It's just--let me show you,
okay?

- Well, I'm getting nervous.
- What, what, what?

- I'm getting nervous
while they're waiting,

and it's making me
having anxiety.

- Do you have to wait?

- The second picture looks
even better than the first.

It looks fantastic.

- No, they just did a--
I just got freaked out.

- Lisa Rinna,
Sarah from Colorado Springs

wants to know, "Considering
the anxiety it caused her,

do you regret taking Kyle
with you to your mammogram?"

- No, I don't ever,

because I think everyone
should have a mammogram.

- You got very
positive feedback,

and then you got feedback
from people

saying it was somehow set up

because you don't typically
get the results?

- They said that?
- This is what--oh, no, no, no.

- Some don't--
- First of all, it was October,

and I do it every October.
I have my mammogram,

and it was scheduled

for the following week
at Cedars-Sinai.

- And that's true, for real.
- Yeah, that's true,

and since they knew
we were both coming in,

they had put time aside
for both of us,

so then all of a sudden
I'm thinking, "Well--

well, you know what?
I'm gonna do this because--"

- You're on the spot.
- The reason my mom died

is because she skipped
her mammogram for five years,

so why not take
this opportunity to show,

you know,
that we're gonna do this

even though I was terrified?

And at that place
they actually do

give the results
on the spot.

- Dorit, Judy
from Fort Smith, Arkansas,

wants to know how your
gigantic breast implants

affect your mammograms.

- [stammers]
- Well!

- "Gigantic breast implants"?

- They don't look gigantic
to me.

- I was gonna say,
have they seen gigantic?

- Right.
- They look great, by the way.

- Thank you.
- Well, it was interesting,

because when you got yours,

they said your implants
looked great and--

- Yeah, and--
- I mean, they--is it also

kind of a checkup for your
implants in a weird way?

- Well, yeah, because then
I get the ultrasound too.

You don't just
do the mammogram.

- Right.
- You also have a ultrasound

so that you make sure
you can see everything

because there is
an implant in there.

- This is your right breast
from the ceiling to the floor.

The darker tissue is
the healthy fatty tissue,

and the whiter tissue's
the healthy breast tissue,

and then here's your implant,
which looks completely healthy,

no signs of leak or rupture.

- They said,
"Is it okay if we show

your breast and your implant?"

And I said, "Absolutely,
because that's the truth."

- Right.
- And you have to be

even more careful
when you have implants.

- When you have implants,
for sure.

- Right.
- Yeah.

- Joey from Sausalito,
California, said,

"Teddi, as someone
who also has anxiety,

"how do you help Kyle
when she's spiraling?

Have you sent her
to your therapist?"

- Yes, we have
done that together.

- So just take a moment
and sort of scan your body.

Like, does something
just kind of feel relaxed?

Like, one muscle, even, like,

a baby toe
that's just kind of--

- Nope.
- Hanging?

[laughter]

- My husband almost had to call
911 one night, it was so bad.

- That's scary.
- Yeah, it's scary.

- Desiree from Idaho said,
"Erika, you tweeted,

'All hail the true queen

of "Real Housewives
of Beverly Hills,"

Kyle Richards.'
What makes you say that?"

- Look at us today.
She is the queen.

- Don't try and steal
that crown.

- What crown?
Is there one up here?

- It's there somewhere.
- Thank you.

Just kidding.

- No, I--the queen thing makes
me laugh, but that's sweet.

- But it's true.
Look who showed up.

- I agree.
- She's one of the original--

she's the last original
cast member.

- But not only
is she the original,

she's the leader of the group.

- Right.
- She is the leader.

- How is she the leader
of the group?

- Because she is the one
that we are all connected to.

- She binds us together.
- That's right.

She's the binding--
she's the center.

- Wow.
- That's very sweet, Erika.

Thank you. Thank you.

- Don't go anywhere.

Camille Donatacci
Grammer Meyer...

is here next.

[laughter]

- I did that on purpose.
- I hate you.

- I don't care. I don't care.
- Delicious.

- We'll be right back.

- Here we go.

- Oh, what's up next?

It's me, when they go after me.

This is not gonna be fun.

I'm in the hot seat next.

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- Walking into the lions' den
with these ladies.

- All right, we're ready.

Beautiful, Camille.
- Hello, Camille.

- Hi.
- Hi, Camille.

- Gorgeous.

- Hey, Camille.

- Hello, hello.

- Five, four, three,

set and cue to you, Andy.

- Joining us
is original housewife

Camille Grammer Meyer.
Hi, Camille.

- Hi, Andy.
- Great to see you.

- Thank you. Great to be here.
- You're back.

- Oh, yes, I am.
- Yeah.

- I don't know if I'm happy
about that or terrified.

- Before we jump in,

congratulations
on tying the knot.

- Whoo!
I'm off to get married again.

This is number two.

- You may seal your vows
with a kiss.

[cheers and applause]

- So beautiful.
- Thank you.

- Congratulations.
- Thank you.

- I want whatever Mauricio had
at--at that dinner in Hawaii.

[laughter]

- Me too.
What is that?

It looked good.
- That was really funny.

- Remember when we went
up the hill?

- You know what?
- What hill?

- Like Jack and Jill?
- What?

[laughter]

- I can't.

- I ever tell you the joke
that I have--

- Shut up.
- Please tell us the joke.

- No, I can't
with your dumb jokes, no.

- Kyle.
- Yes. Let me tell my joke.

You want to tell it--or you
want to hear it, or you don't?

- I want to hear it.
- All right.

I forgot the joke.
- Oh, no!

[laughter]

- I was really--
- Did you forget it?

- No!

- That was the best.

- Apparently the crew
was laughing so hard

that they had a problem
with the audio.

- They did.

- Because they were all
howling.

Emily from South Bend,
Indiana, said,

"What was the best part of
your honeymoon in Switzerland?"

- Oh, everything.

I love skiing,
so we had an amazing time.

It's just a fantastic place
to go.

- You went from Hawaii
to skiing.

- Yes, yes.
- That's great.

Hannah from Bartlett,
Illinois, said,

"Camille, I saw photos of the
1,200-square-foot mobile home

you lived in temporarily.
What was that like?"

- It's nice.
It's got great views,

and we're comfortable.
I'm still in it.

- Oh, you're still in it?

- Yeah.
- Wow.

- We haven't moved into
the beach house yet.

- There was a time
in season one where you said

of your temporary New York
apartment that I believe was,

like, 3,500 square feet
or something like that,

you said you could not live
in that square footage.

- It'd be uncomfortable
with two young kids, yeah.

Can you believe it?
- How many bedrooms?

- There's only three.
It's small.

- So this is like--you can't--
- For us, it's small.

This is a small apartment
for us.

- So the kids are sharing
a room?

- Yes, they're sharing a room.
How cute is this?

How times have changed.

[laughter]

Well, I had an estate then.

I feel like I live
in my own private retreat,

17 acres total.

We have a pool,
a tennis court.

Past the barn and into
the stable, here we go.

So I went from
a grand estate to--

- 3,500 square feet.

A little bit earlier,
I was talking to Denise

about her philosophy
about raising kids

with a ex-husband
who's always in the news.

- Mm-hmm, yeah, my mom says,

"Watch Denise
in her interviews.

She's always, like--
makes it about the kids,"

and my mom was like, "That's
the classy way to do it."

- Leslie from Naples,
Florida, said,

"What is the real reason
you won't give up 'Grammer'?"

- The primary reason
is for my kids.

That's it.
It's really--it's just my kids.

- I couldn't wait
to get rid of mine.

Sorry.
- I think that's great.

- I filed a bifurcation
so I could go back

to my maiden name.
- Yeah, you told us that.

- You did?
- Yeah.

- So I took it off.

I took "Grammer"
off my social media,

and it's still
on my passport, and--

- How does David
feel about that?

- David is all for it.
He said, "Your kids,

"both of your kids' last name
is Grammer.

I understand that."
He has no problem.

- By the way,
what was your reaction to

Denise not having a prenup in
her marriage to Charlie Sheen?

- Charlie and I didn't have
a prenup when we got married,

and when we got divorced,

I could have asked for half
of what he made,

and I did not,

because I ain't
a greedy ----ing whore.

- Well, I was married
for 13 years.

That's a long time.

- And how long
were you married?

- Just under five.
- Okay.

Do you think she should
have asked for half?

- I don't know.

- Charlie Sheen came up
when she was with him.

- Charlie was almost bankrupt
before we got married.

- Got it, okay.
Well, I don't know much about--

I'm sorry, I didn't follow you
that much.

All I know--I can only
speak about myself.

- You don't have to.
- I don't know.

I--I just don't.
It's okay. Whatever.

I just felt that, you know...
- Okay.

- Working and--
and I worked hard.

I just didn't sit back
buying fancy clothes

and shoving bonbons in my face.

I mean, I worked hard.
Mm-hmm.

♪ ♪

- So I mean--
- Do you like bonbons?

- I've never had one.

- Well, we're gonna
leave it there.

- Yeah.
- Duh.

- We are gonna take a break.
- Mm-hmm.

- We'll be right back.
- Okay.

- Why would it hurt to sit?
- My legs are cramped.

- I'm wearing
this tight-ass dress.

- It's lunchtime.
- It's lunch.

- I don't understand
what's going on with Denise

about the money stuff.

I just didn't expect
that, like--

- Oh, my God, wait till we get
into all this Camille's sh--.

I think she's just being
really mean.

- It's almost like it's, like,

just wanting to be
annoyed by something.

- Like, everybody's divorce
is different.

Their settlement's different.
- Absolutely.

- I can't figure out what it is
that gets her about that.

- Maybe she's not
a happy person.

- Comes down to sex.
If you're getting laid...

- [laughs]

- Getting laid, you can,
you know--

- Well, I already scheduled
mine in for this week.

- Thank God!

- Welcome back.

These Beverly Hills housewives
may be proper in the streets,

but that doesn't mean
they're prudes in the sheets.

This season, the ladies shared
some X-rated secrets

that would make even
Cardi B blush.

Let's get it on.

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- Body goals.

- I haven't ended up on my back
a lot lately, so it's nice.

- So I met him at his center,

and then one time, we had sex
in one of his rooms.

- My visuals of you and Aaron
having sex are, like,

right up there
with my favorite porn.

[laughter]
That's real ----ing good.

- Why not?
- Uh, no!

- Where's my straddle?

- You got your straddle
yesterday,

and it only lasted two minutes.

[laughter]

- Aaron had never had
a happy ending,

and we were on the hunt.
- He wanted one?

- No, I wanted him to have one.

- A happy ending,
just to confirm, is a hand job?

- Yeah, at the end
of the massage.

- If Edwin went to get
a happy ending,

he would have a happy removal
shortly after.

- Have you had
a happy ending massage?

- Yeah.
- [gasps] Really?

- Hold on.
What happens with a woman?

- They eat her out.
What do you think they do?

- No, they don't!
- What?

- Erika, don't walk away
like you think this is, like--

- Because that's the truth.
That's what happens!

- But where does that happen?
- That was--that, no,

that's not true.
That didn't happen.

- Why is everybody acting
like such a ----ing nun?

- Is that what happens

in a happy ending massage
for a woman?

- I think that there's various
things that can happen.

- Yeah.
- Right. I mean, it's--

- But that's not what happened
with you.

- No.
- Some people didn't hear

you say that, so...
- Okay.

Well, Zoe
from Sacramento

has a question on that topic.

- I'm sure she does.

- "I'm glad you found
your happy ending with Aaron

"in more ways than one,

"but why were you okay with
another woman getting him off

when you could just
do it yourself?"

- Well, I do
do it myself, but I--

- Yes, that's well-established.

- He had never had one,
and so we just, you know,

had a wild night and decided--

- It came out later from Aaron

that it kind of seems like
an old lady jerked him off.

- Yeah, she was a little older,

and he was mortified
and really embarrassed.

- It was awkward.
It was the weirdest thing ever.

- I'm sure if she wasn't
100 years old,

it would not have been weird
for you.

- She was, like, 200 years old.

- Louise from Topeka,
Kansas, said,

"Erika, how did Mr. Girardi
feel about you saying

he's probably paid for sex
and slept with prostitutes?"

- Well, I'll tell you why,
because when he used to go

to Vegas as a very young man
and win a bunch of money,

they'd send up a couple
of back-scratchers.

I mean--
[laughter]

So that's how I feel
about it, lady.

- Back-scratchers.
- You know, like the old days.

At the Riv or something.
- I love that.

- You know what I mean.
You know what I mean.

- Denise, Alessandra
from Las Vegas says,

"If I had a tequila shot
for every time

"you brought up Aaron's big
penis, I'd be in the hospital.

Let's get real.
How big is it?"

- Oh, come on!
- Wait. Wait, wait, wait.

How many times
did I bring it up?

- Just a few.
- Did you bring it up once...

- Once.
- And then everyone else

brought it up a lot?
- One time.

He has a very big penis.
- Oh, my God.

- He offers
a very good service,

aside from his big penis.

- Energy medicine.
- Okay.

- If you want to--
- With the penis.

I am gonna shut my ----ing
piehole right now, baby.

I really love you...
- Right.

- And your big ----nig penis.

[laughter]

- So how big is it?
- No.

- Is it like Shaquille?
- Compare it to this shoe.

- No, I--it's actually bigger
than your shoe.

[all yelling]
- I do--wait, it's--

- You missed that.
- What did you say?

- I said, compare it
to my shoe,

and she says it's bigger
than the shoe.

- [gasps]

- Wait, I do want
to clarify something.

- Wait a minute here.
Hold on.

- Please don't tell me
hard or soft.

- I have to clarify this,
please,

because of his business.

- Which part of the shoe?
- And it's true.

It was after a date,
and no one was there,

so it wasn't like it was
in the middle of the day.

- After business hours.
- Yeah.

- Do you regret bringing it up?

I mean, it's good PR for Aaron.

- I don't regret,
actually, anything.

At first he was like...
[gasps]

And then now I think he's glad
that I said it, so...

- Uh, yeah.
- Now that he's racing up

the charts and the hot meter.
He's like, bring it on.

- Now that he's winning polls
on "Watch What Happens Live."

- Ladies, on a scale of Denise
having sex every single day

and Teddi doing it
two times a week,

where do the rest of you fall?

- Not near Denise.
- In between.

- Not near Denise.
- Not near Denise.

- Really?
- Yeah.

- Denise is the MVP
of this group.

- Pete from Tucson,
Arizona, said,

"Rinna, you're infamous
for your own racy posts.

"What did you think about

"Denise's husband
appreciation day post

where Aaron is clearly
giving a full salute in bed?"

- It's so sexy and hot.
Like, I'm almost embarrassed

to look at it,
you know what I mean?

- Did you take it down?
- I did take it down.

- Why?
- You did?

- I like it. I actually--

- Did he not--
- No, he was fine.

- The girls maybe?
The girls?

- You know, the kids
kind of saw something.

- Oh, oh.
- I--yeah, I see.

- Yeah.
- Well, it was hard to miss.

- I get it. I get that.
- All right.

Henry from Blair, Nebraska,

wants to know, "Rinna,
what do you and Harry Hamlin do

to keep things spicy
after 22 years of marriage?"

- Well, Harry Hamlin and I,
you know,

we like to do some kinky sh--.
- Really?

- Whoo!
- I'll dress up.

- Do you role play?
- Oh, (BLEEP) yes.

- I knew it.

- Listen, I like to role play.
- I was about to say role play.

- I love it!

- Pat the puss, honey.

I dance for him.

I took Sheila Kelley's
strip class

for two years, honey.
I can ----ing move,

and let me tell you something.

All you have to do
is bend over.

That's all you have to do.

Like, just take your clothes
off and bend over.

That's it.
It's easy.

- That's a good trick, Rinna.

- Coming up...

For someone who is the queen
of accountability,

you had such a lapse,
so to speak.

- I'm taking accountability
of--for it right now.

- Right.

- Welcome back to the "Real

- Welcome back to the "Real
Housewives of Beverly Hills"

reunion.

Well, the battle
between Lisa Vanderpump

and her former Teddi Bear

started with a biting
Lucy Lucy Apple Juice

and ended in a John Blizzard
of lies.

Take a look.

- Teddi Bear?

- You could go from Teddi Bear
to Teddi Bitch in a nanosecond.

- Bring her here.
Oh, baby.

- That's her?
- Yeah, yeah.

You don't recognize this...
- Stop.

- Is that a--
- I don't want to talk about it.

- What?
- What?

- No.
- Okay.

- After Lucy had bit the kids
a few times

and took a big bite
out of PK's face, PK was just--

- Like, "Maybe we should find
Lucy another place?"

- Yes, exactly.

I tried to rescue a dog
from Vanderpump Dog Center,

and it blew up in my face.

Here I am thinking that she's
going to this beautiful home.

I get a phone call from Lisa

that Lucy ended up
in a shelter.

- When we went into
Vanderpump Dogs,

John pranced your dog out
and told me and Kyle.

It was not my fault
that this is out there.

- I had no idea Teddi
would be gossiping.

- Don't turn this around on me.

- I did not tell my employees
to tell you.

[dramatic music]

- "Didn't Lisa want you
to tell me?"

- Who?
- "Yes."

- Who from?
- From John Blizzard.

I did nothing wrong.

I am an honest person.

Never once have I told a lie,

and never will you ever hear me
tell one.

- I went to Blizzard,
and I got him

to print all of her texts
and all of his texts.

- She says, "Have the dog there

and I can say
it looks like Dorit's dog."

- She's a ----ing liar.

- I can't believe this.

You have complicated my life.

Clearly, you seem to be
a lot closer to Teddi.

- Yeah. I put words in
your mouth that were not true,

and I will own that,
and I'm sorry for it.

- The only thing I've got
to say to little Teddi Bear

is she's guilty by omission.

- How did you know
that Teddi knew?

- I didn't know at the time
Teddi knew.

She didn't know at the time.

- But you said that they sent
a text saying...

- No, no, no. That--no, that--
- To her, Teddi knows.

So who told you?

Obviously Lisa
and John Blizzard

had a whole conversation
going on about that.

- So you don't feel any kind
of guilt or remorse?

- I don't feel
any guilt with you.

- Oh, really?
- No. I feel betrayed by you.

- Okay. Well, I feel betrayed
by you too.

- Oh, 'cause I couldn't carry
out your plan? Sorry.

- Lisa Vanderpump
may have made

a critical error
in judgment here.

I think she thought Teddi was
a punk and was gonna fold up

and do exactly
what she wanted her to do.

- I did fine
before Teddi Mellencamp,

and I'll do fine after.

- I'm gonna call it
a night, guys.

- Bye, Teddi.

- Teddi, we saw everything
that happened on-camera.

From your point of view,

what happened off-camera
before the season even started?

- Well, before I say anything,
I need to once again apologize.

I made a mistake.

Well, actually, I should have
never gotten involved

in the very first place.

- Why did you get involved
in the beginning though?

- And this--and this is truth.

You know, when I first got
the phone call and it was,

"Hey, you know, we--
Lisa wanted us to tell you

"because she knows that things
aren't good with you and Dorit,

"and it would be weird for her
to bring it up because

"Dorit is one of
her good friends.

"The dog ended up
in a kill shelter.

We gotta figure out a way
to make it happen."

- That was the phone call
you got?

- Yes.
- And so why did you--

- But there was multiple,
multiple phone calls.

- From?
- From John Blizzard.

- John Blizzard.
- But also, "Hold on.

"I'm on another line
with Sessa.

"Hold on. I'm on
the other line with Lisa.

Let me check with them."

I mean, there was--I mean,
so much going into it.

- And so to Denise's point,

why get involved?
Why agree to it?

- Because I was petty,
and I made a mistake,

and I was angry at Dorit.
- What were you angry about?

- We had a whole past year
of issues,

and there was something
that happened last year

when we were actually
leaving the reunion,

and Kyle was on the phone
with Lisa Vanderpump,

and we were all supposed
to meet, and she goes,

"Dorit refuses to go
if Teddi's there," and I--

- I did say that.

- And I was angry,
and you know what?

I made a mistake,
and I acted out.

- I just don't understand

why you never spoke to Lisa
about it,

why you were always speaking
to the employee.

Like--
- Well...

- Hadn't you gotten close
to John Blizzard?

- No. I never was close to--
- Oh.

- I would go there
because my kids

go to a class right near there.

I had never gone to dinner
with him or drinks

or done anything outside
of a Vanderpump event.

- But then that makes it
all the more weird to me

that you never spoke
to Lisa about it.

- Because it was--
that's my point.

I didn't think twice about it
because her head guy is saying,

"I'm talking to her right now
trying to figure this out."

This was all Lisa wanting Dorit
to look bad,

and yes, I went along with it.

Like, I am not for one second

trying to dismiss
my bad behavior.

- Erika, last--
- Yes?

- Erika?
- I'm sorry. Yes? Yes?

- Last year you said that Teddi
was not to be trusted.

- You are much more calculating
than you're saying.

You are not this innocent fawn
in the woods.

I did not realize
how much Teddi disliked Dorit,

and it was mean to have gone
far enough down that road.

- That's a serious--
for someone

who is the queen of
accountability, so to speak--

- I'm taking accountability
of--for it right now.

- Right, but it's amazing

that at that time
you had such a lapse.

- I think that, you know,
what also really stuck with me

was that, you know,
I'd kept asking,

"Well, at what point
did you realize

you didn't want to go
through with it?"

And then at Vanderpump Dogs

when I saw that Lisa said,
"No, no, no,"

and that I was just gonna be
the one that was a scapegoat,

I thought to myself, "Wow,

it wasn't actually
your conscience,"

and thought, "I don't want to
do this to Dorit."

It was, "I don't want to be the
only one to do this to Dorit,"

and that hurt.

- Next time, it's part two

of the "Real Housewives
of Beverly Hills" reunion.

- I hate it when people say,
"What work have you had done?"

What work have you had done?

- Well, I think
it's comical people think

that I've had
a facelift and surgeries.

- You didn't have
a head transplant?

- I did not have--
[laughter]

- Drunk Rinna's really
pretty fun.

- I agree.

Why do you two think

that Erika doesn't want to be
around you?

- Teddi was up Kyle's ass.

As soon as Lisa Vanderpump
was out, you were right there.

- Camille, you are confusing.

- You girls want me to jump
on that hate train.

- That's not true.

- You do a good job
on your own.

- Dorit, you're the most
phoniest person I've ever met.

You said, I curse at my
daughters. It was no big deal.

- I don't curse
at my daughters.

- It was in the Bahamas.
You were drunk.

You came in.

- This is where we think
before we speak, Camille.

- This is totally a setup.
- What is a setup?

- I'm done. I'm done.
- A setup?

- No, what are
you talking about?

- I'm done.
- What are you talking about?

- I'm done.
- She's ----ing nuts.

- Those ----ing nasty bitches.

- To learn more about
the housewives,

go to bravotv.com.