Original subtitles

- Previously on "The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills."

- There she is. Hi, Kim. How are you?

She's in the corner. I just waved.

She's right there in the corner.

- You have a thing for bad boys.

- Are you considered a bad boy?

- Yeah.

- I can't make the wedding.

- You and Kyle, you both have a special friendship.

- We don't.

- Aloha. - Whoo!

- Oh, sh--.

- The wedding's tomorrow. - Who's getting married?

- This is it. It's official. - Yay.

- You may seal your vows with a kiss.

[upbeat music]

- In the game of life, it's Rinna take all.

♪ ♪

- Most people talk about their fantasies.

I'm living mine.

- In business and in life,

I wear many hats and hairstyles.

- You can stab me in the back,

but whilst you're there, kiss my ass.

- I'm not afraid of hard work,

but I'll never do your dirty work.

- My problem with the tabloids?

My real life is so much juicier.

- In Beverly Hills,

the truth always has a way of rising to the top.

[warm music]

♪ ♪

- My voice sounds ridiculous. - You're going there.

You're going down the Lisa Rinna rabbit hole.

- Going down in flames right now.

- I cannot be sick for Farrah's party.

- Oh, no. - That's what I'm saying.

- You got to rest when you get home a little bit

and drink a lot of water.

- I can't be sick. Nip it in the bud.

I cannot afford to be sick.

I don't have the luxury of taking a few days off,

because as soon as I get back home,

I have to get ready for Farrah's 30th birthday

in, like, no time.

- Hi, Dorit.

- I'll have regular water. - Regular water?

- I was like, "Who's that cute girl?"

- How are you feeling?

- Better. - Good.

- How are you feeling? - Better.

- I feel a little tired.

Anxious to get home. - Yes.

- How late did you guys go?

[intense techno music]

♪ ♪

- Ohhhh!

- You know what... - What time is it do you think?

- You know what... - 8:44 p.m.

- It was so pretty last night.

- So beautiful. - So beautiful.

- Good morning. How are you all?

- Morning, Moe.

- How's it going? - How are you?

- Just talking about the wedding last night.

- It was beautiful, wasn't it?

- Yes. - It was really beautiful.

- Oh, it's pretty out today. I'm so glad the sun came out.

It was overcast the last few days.

Hello, ladies.

- Hello. - There she is.

- Hi. - Hello.

- Oh, I love your shoes. - Hi, gorgeous.

- How are you feeling? - I'm better. I can speak.

- Good morning to the new bride.

- Hey. Thank you, Moe.

It's kind of trippy to wake up knowing you're a missus again.

Like, is this real? Did this really happen?

- Where's David? - David's golfing.

- Are you and David going anywhere on your honeymoon?

- Yes, we are going to Switzerland.

- Nice.

- That's his favorite place, 'cause he's a big skier, so.

- I was telling the girls--

I didn't want to tell you yesterday

just 'cause you were getting married and everything,

but something really weird that we found out.

- What happened? - Alexia's very close friend,

her family was also burglarized.

And their house was under construction at the time,

and her family took the construction workers

to take a lie detector test.

And guess who was there taking one.

- Who?

LVP?

- Yes.

[laughter]

- Why was taking a lie detector test?

- Why do you think?

- No. No, that's ridiculous. Over a dog?

I mean, we're going too far.

- Did she reach out to you yesterday, on your wedding day?

- I haven't seen anything from her.

- Doesn't that feel kind of sh---y?

- I think she wrote, "Now onto more important stuff."

- Yeah. - She did, didn't she?

"On to more important stuff, the Dodgers."

- It's a little owie. - A little shady.

- It's a little owie.

I really wanted her to be here. - You know what?

She doesn't have to behave that way.

- Yeah, it's hurtful. It's sad. She should have been here,

to be here for me and to dismiss all of this.

- I hate to rush up, but we do have a plane to catch.

- No, I know, and I wish you ladies

could stay, and gentlemen, but have a safe flight.

- Thank you for having us, Camille.

- Thank you all for coming.

[dynamic techno music]

♪ ♪

- Here, come here. I'm gonna open this up.

This is a gift. - Hi, baby.

- Oh, that's nice.

"Cheers to you and Aaron. Many happy endings.

Love, Lisa and Harry."

- How are you? - Look who's home.

- Hi, Eloisey. - Let's go see.

Let's go say hi to Mom.

- Hi! How are you? [gasps] Did you lose a tooth?

You lost a tooth? You know what?

Maybe if we put your tooth under your pillow tonight

the tooth fairy's gonna come.

- It just happened. - Oh.

- Yeah. - I am so grateful that Aaron

is so understanding of me

being on location playing husband and wife

with my ex-boyfriend.

- Hi, baby. I missed you.

- I missed you. If it was reversed,

I don't know if I would be as supportive.

I would probably pretend I am but still get a little jealous.

- This is a card. - Oh, from Lisa and Harry?

- Yeah. "Many happy endings."

- Remember on the camping trip? - Yeah?

- I may have done something you might not be happy about.

- You told everybody about that?

- Yes. - Oh, my God.

- Aaron had never had a happy ending,

and we were on the hunt.

A happy ending, just to confirm, is a handjob.

- Yeah, at the end of a massage.

- Here, sit. 'Cause I'm really tired.

I haven't gone to bed yet

because we work nights and I got off late.

- Okay. Here, I'll come around that side.

- Plug your ears and close your eyeballs. No?

I didn't get into details.

I just--I did say you were mortified a bit.

I think I said that, or that was just in my brain.

- It was so incredibly... - I don't know, but anyway.

- Awkward. It was awkward.

It was the weirdest thing ever.

- I'm sure if she wasn't 100 years old

it would not have been awkward for you.

- She was, like, 200 years old.

- My point is there was a couple that were

a little judgmental, and that's okay.

They can judge all they want. Whatever.

- Well, it's out there now.

[bright music]

♪ ♪

- I'm pretty much done, honey. This trip has been so much fun.

Everyone had a great time. Everybody got along.

So that in itself is a little wedding gift for Camille.

- Time to go back to L.A. - Okay, guys.

What does everyone think of the article

I just sent you from "People Magazine"?

- I'm a little surprised to be honest.

- Way surprised.

- In-between the brunch and going to the airport,

an article came out in "People Magazine"

where Camille is professing her eternal gratefulness

to Lisa Vanderpump being such a good friend

and really helping her and supporting her.

She's basically saying "Lisa Vanderpump encouraged me

to take a leap of faith on this journey."

She could have warned us at the breakfast we just had.

- Yeah. - Exactly, two hours

before it was posted. I'm so confused.

- And then she just said, "I'm so hurt

"that Lisa didn't reach out or post anything

or say anything about me," and blah blah blah...

- And here she says, "I respect her decision."

I don't care if she loves Lisa Vanderpump

and feels the way she does about her.

That's great, but you say one thing to us

and then you go and say that?

You know, I don't trust that. I don't trust somebody

who talks out of both sides of their mouth.

Camille needs to own her sh-- now.

And if you've been talking behind anybody's back here

she better, like, step up and tell everybody,

'cause I know for a fact she has.

Like, she can't have you at her wedding

and then say not very nice things about you to me.

I'm sorry, but she did, and I didn't want to say that to you.

- When did she do that?

- Right before her 50th birthday party.

- I just feel that, you know,

Dorit, there's a little bit of phoniness,

and I don't know where she's at.

Like, I don't know if she has all the money

she has. or is it a show? The fake accent, all of it.

She bugs--and I know we all love her,

but I'm gonna be honest, she makes the back

of the little hairs on your neck just stand up.

- That to me about you. - This is after The Bahamas

where she was telling me how great it is

to get to know me and to really know the real me.

- I'm having such a good time with you.

I've gotten to know you better this trip,

and I feel that I can move forward

and we can all move forward.

- Good, I love that. What a bitch.

- And she pretends to care.

- Don't pretend to be so sweet and nice,

and "Our friendship has taken a turn,

and I'm coming here and I'm supporting you--"

Don't do that. Don't do that to me.

If you've got [inaudible]--

- Be honest with me. - Exactly.

- Camille struggles with saying

what--the person she's talking to,

what she thinks that person wants to hear.

She'll say one thing to us, another thing to

"People Magazine," another thing to Lisa.

- Yeah, but she's talking behind our backs.

- It's not even that. It's not even in the article.

I don't care if she wanted to release it,

but then tell us.

We're all sitting with you having the conversation.

It's like, "Just so you know, I released this quote."

- "And I kissed Lisa Vanderpump's ass,

and my head was actually up her ass.

I just wanted to warn you, okay?" Good times.

- Coming up... - Nervous?

- I just get nervous every time,

but it's just psychological

'cause of losing my mom, you know?

- Yeah.

[upbeat music]

- I'm so tired.

Hawaii kicked my butt.

- I was just having a few.

I literally just picked them up.

- Honey.

- Honey, I get so hungry. I love them.

- Yeah, but you're not allowed, PK.

You're not allowed. Crunch on carrots!

- You know, we still haven't baptized this deck yet

if you want to go at it right now.

- Oh, my gosh. - I'm ready.

- Some of us have to work around here.

- So no free lap dances? - Just because of this morning

doesn't mean you get to be all revved up all day.

- Want to go a second round?

- No! Once a day is enough. - It's nice to be home.

I got a text from Kyle. She's having a party.

- Cool.

- You want to come to the party?

- I think I'm...

- [laughing]

I knew it. All right, fine.

You don't want to come. Okay, I get it.

I'll just tell Kyle you don't want to come to her party.

♪ ♪

[knocking at door]

- Coming! - I like this little knocker.

- Hi. Do you like this knocker? - I do. How are you?

- It's a loud knocker.

Hi. I'm good. Let me grab my purse.

- Okay. - All right, let's go.

- Are you ready to go get your mammogram?

- Yeah, I am. Thanks for going with me.

- Do you get nervous? - I do.

I have a mammogram once a year.

It's nerve-wracking, I think, for any woman,

and the fact that both my mom and my half-sister

have had breast cancer and had double mastectomies

makes it a little bit more nerve-wracking for me.

- It's not the most fun thing to do,

so better to have a friend with you.

- I've never done it with anyone.

- You know what? - I've always done it alone.

- I've taken Faye before and also Lisa Vanderpump.

- Is that right?

- Yeah, 'cause nobody wants to do it.

- There's probably gonna be traffic.

- I know there is. - Just FYI.

- I know, and then we have the Farrahween today.

I've got to get back for that. What are you gonna wear?

- I have a surprise. I'm not gonna tell you.

- I'm gonna be a Playboy bunny. - Yay!

- It's gonna be, like, 500 people.

- No. - Yep. I have so much stuff

going on right now planning Farrah's party.

Ordering the food, trying to find the DJ,

getting the valet.

My daughter Sophia's coming. I've got to get a Ferris wheel.

- The Ferris wheel is gonna come all the--as forward

as we can, and we're gonna have the bathrooms right behind it.

- We have to have a sign that says "Bathrooms,"

'cause no one's coming in my house.

This party cost--I would say it was about 15 Birkin bags.

- So let's see. 30 years ago, you were 19 years old.

What do you remember about her birth?

Do you remember everything?

- I was--I remember every little thing.

I was so young, and when I went for my first check-up

I didn't know you had to have all of these blood tests

and everything, and I was, like,

screaming, crying. Lock the door.

And the nurse said, "I'm not gonna deal with this

with you, young lady." And I'm pregnant having a baby.

- Wow. I never thought of that. - And she's still my nurse.

- Oh, is she?

- Yeah, she's still there at the doctor's office.

Well, you finally got your voice back.

- Well, yes, my voice came back.

That was quite a weekend.

- Yeah.

- When that "People Magazine" came out,

I don't know, I just had had it.

I lost my sh-- in the van for sure.

I'm not happy that I told Dorit

that Camille was talking not nicely about her.

- But you didn't tell her what she said.

- I didn't.

- I understand what you're saying, but--

- But, you know, I felt like I'd had enough.

Listen, I wasn't gonna say a thing.

- I mean, don't think I'm not curious.

I was like, "What? What was it, Rinna?"

[dynamic techno music]

♪ ♪

- Okay. Hi.

- Hello. - Hi.

- You both have appointments today?

- She does.

- You're supposed to get yours next week,

so why don't you just do it now too?

Do you have time to do--

- Certainly. Yeah, we can definitely fit her in.

- How long does it take? Not that long.

- 10 to 15 minutes for the mammogram.

- Okay, don't tell me anything bad.

No bad news. I'm here to support you.

I'm like, "Lisa, you'll be fine.

Wait, me too?"

- I've never done a double mammogram.

- Oh, this is my good luck two dollar bill, so.

- Okay, here. Let me rub it. Let me rub it on my boobs.

- I was at dinner with my niece and with, you know,

all these girls, and this man came up and handed us

each two dollar bills and said, "This is for good luck."

- I love that. - And I've kept it in my wallet

ever since. A stranger.

- See, I keep a $100 bill in my wallet for good luck.

I don't know why. - I keep those too.

- In a weird way, this is helping me

because the focus is now on Kyle's anxiety, not my own.

- Lisa? - Are you all right? All right.

- Can you wait here? I wait here?

- Yes, you can stay there.

- Okay. - Bye.

- Bye. It's all good. - Okay.

- You got this. - Okay.

- Hello. - Hi, honey.

- This test gives me so much anxiety.

- My name is Daisy.

I'm gonna take you for the mammogram,

so let's go this way.

- But the reason my mom died of breast cancer is

because she didn't go get a mammogram for five years.

- Nervous?

- I just get nervous every time.

It doesn't hurt, it's just uncomfortable.

- No, it's just the pressure, and--

- But it's just psychological

'cause of losing my mom, you know?

- Yeah. - I get scared.

So if my mom had gone, maybe she'd still be here,

and I'm haunted by that thought all of the time.

- Don't be scared. Everything will be fine.

- Thank you.

- I would say the anxiety leading up to the results

of this test is more frightening than the procedure.

[soft dramatic music]

♪ ♪

[tapping at door] - Come in.

- Hi there. How are you doing?

- I'm good. How are you? - I'm great, I'm great.

Well, I've got lots of great news about your mammogram.

- Oh, good. Oh, cool.

- So let's look at this together.

- Great. - Okay, this is your

right breast from the ceiling to the floor.

The darker tissue is the healthy, fatty tissue,

and the whiter tissue is the healthy breast tissue.

And then here's your implant, which looks completely healthy.

No signs of leak or rupture. And then the left breast,

the same thing, ceiling to the floor.

- Good, good, good. Thank you so much.

- Good to see you. Absolutely.

- I really appreciate it. - All right, yeah.

And we'll see you next year.

- All right. Thank you. - All right, bye-bye.

- Bye. Phew.

- Yes? - Hi, I'm Dr. Moss.

I'm the radiologist. - Hi. Hi. Nice to meet you.

- So we need to do a couple extra images on yours, okay?

- Is everything okay? - Well, we'll find out.

It's just--let me show you, okay?

- I can't--I have such bad anxiety

I don't even want to see.

♪ ♪

- Just relax. - Okay, [inaudible].

- Relax your arms first, then these ones, so I can

[inaudible]. See if you can relax your shoulders.

- Okay. When I was turning 30,

my mom found a lump in her breast,

and here I am today having a mammogram,

and they think they see something,

and it's the day of my daughter's 30th birthday.

- Okay.

Hold your breath.

[machine beeping]

- Is everything okay?

- It's just processing the film,

so I'm waiting. - Okay.

[dramatic music]

♪ ♪

- What's happening? - We're just waiting

for the second confirmatory picture, so.

It's one of those things, like--

- Computers. - It is--it is scary,

so I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

I'm sorry we're scaring you, but it'll be fast.

- What's the matter?

- I'm getting nervous. - What happened?

- I'm just getting nervous. - What, what, what?

- I'm getting nervous while they're waiting,

and it's making me have anxiety.

- Do you have to wait?

- No, [inaudible]. - Oh, Kyle.

- Second picture looks even better than the first.

It looks fantastic. - Oh, thank God. Oh, good.

- It looks fantastic. - [crying] It does?

- I'm so sorry. Oh, sweetheart. - Oh, Jesus.

That scared the sh-- out of me.

- Are you okay? - Yeah, I'm okay.

- What happened?

- No, they just did a-- I just got freaked out.

- Honey. - And they never told me

before they had to go back and look again,

and I just got scared. - Oh, God, so they had to...

- My hand is, like, shaking. - Oh, sweetie.

I'm so sorry. Take a deep breath. It's okay.

It's okay. You're clear. You're clear. It's all good.

- Here you go. Wipe some tears. - I'm sorry. I'm such a wimp.

- I mean, it was just extra dense tissue.

You just have really healthy tissue

that had a little area of healthy, dense tissue.

We looked really closely at it, and it pressed out,

and it looks completely safe.

- Okay, okay, okay.

Well, thank you for checking again.

- Great. So that's a good thing.

- Yes. - Thank you. Thank you so much.

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- Honey, do you think there's any chance

that anyone's gonna come as Karl Lagerfeld?

- I think it's unlikely. - Why do you think unlikely?

- But I'm confident enough in my Karl Lagerfeld

to know that anyone else coming isn't gonna compete.

- Ooh. Would that have anything to do with the $800 wigs

that we made for you?

- No. It's to do with the clothes, babe.

It's to do with how I wear 'em.

- I love Halloween, and I think it'd be a lot of fun for PK

to be Karl Lagerfeld

and I'll be his kitty-cat, Choupette.

This is by far the best couples costume that we've ever done.

- Honey, this wig is hot.

- Baby, you haven't even had it on for five seconds.

- Now I feel very hot. My head's sweating.

[phone ringing]

- Hi, gorg.

- Hi, baby. How are you? - I'm good. I'm on my way.

Are you so excited?

- I'm so excited.

I just feel like we have to nail it.

We have to get it exact or it won't land.

When I dress up for costume parties,

I go 100 million percent.

I better look as close as I can,

and I'm also gonna act the part.

Okay, I love you. I can't wait to see you.

- We're gonna kill it. Bye. - Okay. Bye.

[light techno music]

♪ ♪

- You guys want me to pick it up with my hands?

Like Superman? Oh, no.

I'm Hugh Hefner tonight, I forgot.

♪ ♪

- Farrah was born on actual Halloween day,

so we always have a Halloween-themed birthday,

and years ago people started calling it Farrahween

and it stuck.

So every time we do a birthday it was like,

"#Farrahween," and now it's just, like, a thing.

- Mom?

- Sophia, you need to start now.

- What time are you getting your hair done?

- I already did this. You need to--

- Oh, my God, your eyes look so pretty.

- This is the second time in two months

that we have flown Sophia home for something.

- Here we go. Everybody hold real still.

Good. Everybody smile at me. Really nice.

- And I'm very fortunate that I'm able to send

my daughter home when we want to see her

because I feel like it's the only way

I can survive this. I miss her too much.

Has your dad seen your outfits yet?

- What is this?

- Wait 'til you see the bottoms.

- Mom picked it out. - This is all you're wearing?

- Look at Alexia's outfit compared.

- This is all you're wearing?

- There's more. - Where's the more? This?

- This and that. - Yeah, how bad is yours?

- Hers is not bad. Are you joking?

It's literally just a "I love Dorothy" dress.

- Okay, Sophia.

Has your dad seen yours yet? - Dad's like,

"Where's your costume?" He picks up little panties.

- The silver ones? - Yeah.

- Don't say I bought it. - I did.

- Sophia!

- Let's look at your outfit. - Oh, yeah.

Like you're any better. Such a hypocrite.

- This is the whole outfit. There's nothing else.

- Well, yes, there's ears and a cotton tail.

Excuse me? I'm the mom, okay?

I can dress like a little tramp if I want to. You can't.

- This and this.

- I love it.

- Don't even ask how much that was,

'cause when I found out I almost died.

- Coming up...

- You bitch. You dressed like me. Yeah!

[woman screaming]

[eerie music]

♪ ♪

[phone ringing]

- Hello?

- You're not gonna believe what just happened.

- What? - I go to put my costume on,

and it broke, and I'm stuck in it,

and now my husband just had to call

[inaudible] Lingerie

and put the right size in an Uber.

So now I'm waiting for the Uber to arrive

with my Playboy bunny costume.

- By the way, I'm about two seconds away from your house.

I'm turning onto your street.

- Please entertain everybody

until I figure out what the hell I'm doing.

- Okay, bye. - Bye.

- Oh, my God. You're the Joker?

That's so ----ing great. You guys look amazing.

- So do you. - You look so good.

- Thank you. Nice to see you.

Let's go have some fun. - Oh, this is incredible.

Oh, my God.

- [screams] I hate that. I hate that sh--.

- Oh, my--

- Ready? - This looks so cool.

- Look at this.

[decoration screams] - Jesus Christ.

Boy, that scared me.

- What are you having? - I think I'm gonna have, like,

a skinny margarita. Can you do that?

- Yeah, I'll have the same please.

- Hello.

- Oh, my God.

- The hair! - Hello.

- Likewise.

- I like the hair. - I love the hair.

- Good to see you. Mwah.

[overlapping chatter]

- I don't want to get my-- - Hello, Aaron.

- You look so good. - Oh, my gosh.

- Hello. - Love it.

[light music]

♪ ♪

- That's hilarious.

- I'm gonna have to rip this off.

I can't--I'm literally stuck in it.

- It doesn't come off? - No.

I'm stuck in the zipper, and I have to pee.

- Oh, I can take it off. - Okay, no.

[laughter]

- Ew.

- Okay, what are we gonna do?

- Here you go. You want me to just rip it off?

- I don't want you to rip it off.

I want you to try to save it so I can take it back.

- It's unsaveable. - What do you--ah!

Are you nuts? - Nope.

- What if this the wrong ----ing size?

If that is for some reason, like, too big,

and you just ripped this, I'm ----ed.

- Well, that would be a problem.

- Oh, my God. How fun.

- I hope there's not gonna be any sudden frights.

[eerie music]

♪ ♪

This is very eerie.

- Honey, you're not gonna get scared, are you?

- No.

[both scream]

- So mean. - Welcome!

- Sh--. What the (BLEEP)?! Ugh!

- You guys look great.

- How did you know it was us? - I thought you were Karl.

[overlapping chatter] - This is ----ing brill.

I told him. I said, "Erika will know immediately."

- This is brilliant. - Yes.

- I love it. - I love you as Karl.

- This is great on you.

You look great. This is really clever.

[techno music]

♪ ♪

- You look stunning.

- I look like a hooker, but, you know, [inaudible]--

- You look amazing. - Duh.

- Yeah, duh. - Cheers.

♪ ♪

- How are you?

Are you doing all right? - You bitch.

You dressed like me! I love you!

You're Erika Jayne for Halloween?!

Yeah! I love it!

- Pat the puss, honey. - I looked at myself,

but it wasn't me, but it was.

But it was me at Coachella.

She ----ing nailed it. Come here.

- You're kidding. - Come here. Come here.

Come here, ----er. Come here.

Oh, come on.

- You're amazing. You look amazing.

- Thank you.

I woke up in the middle of the night,

and something said to me, you've got to be Erika Jayne.

She's a girl's dream. She's sexual,

she's over the top, and she can get away with anything.

What's more fun than that?

- Where's Kyle?

- She had an outfit malfunction.

- Can you make it so it doesn't look as big on the bottom?

What are you laughing at? People are already arriving.

- Shake your butt. - Is it okay?

- Yeah, it's fine. - Mom, you forgot your pants.

- These are my pants, Portia. It's Halloween.

Cut me some slack, Jack.

- Oh, my God. Your butt. Oh, my God.

♪ ♪

- Is that my sister dressed like a bunny?

- Oh, my God. Hi. Is that you? Are you a gangster?

- I'm a gangster. - Oh, my God.

- Hi. - Hi, how are you?

- Oh, my gosh. How are you? - Come over here. Let's say hi.

I feel so bad. My costume had a problem.

- And your fierce ass.

- Wow. - You look great.

- You look gorgeous. - Hi, darling.

- Oh, my God. - Well, hello there.

- Well, hello.

- Hi, I'm Erika Jayne.

[overlapping chatter]

- It's kind of great, right?

- It is kind of-- it is kind of good.

- How are you? - Hi.

- Hi. - How are you?

- I'm good. How are you? - I'm good.

- Good. - Yeah.

- We're just joking, right?

- I'm actually kind of shocked.

I do wish that Kyle had given me a heads-up,

you know, "Hey, my sister's gonna be here."

- Coming up...

- Kim, you giving Lisa Rinna

that bunny was really (BLEEP).

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- How are you? You look beautiful.

- Thank you.

- You do. You look great. - Oh, Kyle laid it out?

- You were in New York.

- Oh, my gosh. Hello.

- You look so hot. - So do you.

- Wow. Mwah.

- Is there any place where I can DJ?

Oh, my sister, Kim.

- Where's Erika Jayne?

- Oh, my God.

This is the best thing ever.

- Oh, this outfit's really tight.

- Is it uncomfortable?

- It's hard for me to ----ing breathe.

- It's not the most comfortable thing I've ever worn,

I'll be honest with you.

- Suck it up, because you look hot as (BLEEP).

- Thank you. - Hot as hell.

Oh, that's nice. Thank you.

- Oh, that is so cool.

- My tail keeps hitting me.

- I'm gonna hit you with your tail.

[both scream]

- Sh--! - Oh, my God.

You scared the hell out of me.

- Oh, my God! - Welcome!

- Faye! Oh, my God.

Look at you. Gorgeous.

- You two are so cute.

Oh, my God. - [inaudible].

- Oh, my God. - That's awesome.

- Rinna's hair is cool.

Catwoman. We've got another cat.

- Hi, sexy.

- Erika, Camille and I are all cats.

I'm the fashionista cat, Erika's the exotic cat,

and Camille, she's, like, the stray cat.

- Look at how great this is. - Oh, my God. That is awesome.

- How are you? Congratulations.

- I'm telling you... - I love this.

- It's really ----ing good.

- And I'm sorry I wasn't at the wedding.

- Dorit looked gorgeous at the wedding.

I think all the girls had a good time.

- Where do you buy a mask that can cover both your faces?

- You guys, walking on this grass--oh, my God.

- I know. That's why we came to sit.

Oh, I love it.

Well, you definitely had a good shave, Kyle.

- A what?

- You definitely had a good shave.

- Shave?

- Wait, a good wax. - I don't shave.

[overlapping chatter]

- By the way, Camille is mad.

Don't say anything to Camille tonight.

- We all know that.

- So...

I know everyone's, like, a little upset,

but just don't say anything tonight.

- Wait, what's this? - Can somebody fill me in?

- Just don't say anything.

- It's giving me terrible anxiety,

not knowing what Camille said behind my back.

I want to have it out with her.

- A, she just got married, B, it's Farrah's birthday.

- I have no idea what the (BLEEP) is going on,

but I am gonna find out. Trust me.

- I never know. I'm clueless all the time.

- I gave it to what I believed was a wonderful home

because Lucy bit my children.

- I'm lost.

- You know what, guys? She's coming.

- Cheers. - Come on, Erika Jayne.

- [inaudible]. - You look amazing.

- Sit down next to me, me.

- There's the birthday girl! - The birthday girl!

- Whoo!

- Birthday girl. - Hi.

- [inaudible]! - Oh, my God.

[all cheering]

- Look how beautiful! - Birthday girl.

- Happy birthday.

- Earlier today, I was facing one of the worst things

I could ever imagine.

I think it's an important reminder

that we have to celebrate life and family and friends

whenever we have the chance.

Hi, everybody. Happy birthday to my daughter, my firstborn.

You are such an inspiration,

and I cannot believe I'm standing here tonight

saying that I have a child who's 30 years old.

I can't even believe it. I really can't.

I love you so much, Farrah.

It's every parent's dream to see your child grow up

to be a responsible adult, self-sufficient,

smart, successful.

I'm the luckiest mom in the entire world,

and--oh, here's your dad. I feel really proud of her.

I'm proud of the job that my husband and I have done too.

She's the proof that we kind of know what we're doing.

Thank you for being here.

Please take a ride on the Ferris wheel,

and you guys have the best time ever.

Farrah, I love you. Happy 30th.

[all cheering]

- Happy birthday, Farrah.

- ♪ This is gonna be an all-night party ♪

♪ ♪

♪ This is gonna be an all-night party ♪

- Harry threw me a great 30th birthday party.

I got a silver Rolex watch, I remember that.

- I loved my 30th.

We all loaded up in the Gulfstream,

flew off to Vegas for a few days.

- My parents did, like, a surprise luncheon

in Connecticut. I can tell you this,

I did not have a Ferris wheel at my 30th birthday.

- I had a scare with a mammogram today.

It ended up being okay, but I can't even tell you

the thoughts going through my head.

- I know, you sit there, and you're like...

- I'm like, "Here is my biggest nightmare."

- Everything's spinning out of control.

- I went back in, they did it again, and I was fine.

So I was like--I was like, "I'm not gonna be able to--"

I was thinking of "Why'd I do this today?

"That's my daughter's party.

I want her to have fun tonight."

- I know. That would make me psycho.

♪ ♪

- Guys, do we need to go

for a little spin on the Ferris wheel?

- Yes!

- Kyle, has everything been tested and it's fine?

- All right.

- Oh, my gosh. - Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

- Where's Kim?

- Why do we have to be the first?

[laughing]

- Oh, my God. Do we need-- do we need a seat belt?

- Yes.

- Well, my seat belt's stuck. I'm gonna die.

- Just don't look forward,

'cause it ----ing rocks forward.

- All right, miss.

- Oh! - The two Erikas.

- Of course I already tell Kyle

that I'm not gonna bring anything up to Camille,

and then we end up standing side-by-side.

[whistling]

- Denise! - Mom! Oh, my God.

- Lean back! Whoo! - I'll save you.

I swear we're good.

- Oh, my God. - If Kyle is on this,

we're ----ing fine.

- That's a good point. - Can we ----ing lean back?

Any more and we're gonna fly out.

- Uh-oh. - Uh-oh. Someone's getting--

- You've got to keep going. I can't stay up here.

(BLEEP) my life. How many times

do I have to see my life flash before my eyes today?

This is scary. Who knows how this thing is put together?

Maybe they missed a screw or something.

- Careful. - Thank you.

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- Should we all go over and take a picture?

- I would love to take a picture.

- Everybody get in here.

- I can't sit [inaudible]. Dorit, get over there.

- Oh, yas. Yas, queen. - Let me see your wedding ring.

- Okay, ready? - Rinna.

Rinna's so in ----ing character.

Rinna, Erika's not that big of a bitch.

Oh, my gosh.

- Uh-oh. - Now I'm getting worried.

- I feel like that's intended for me.

- Rinna, get over here. Oh, my God. Okay.

- You know what? I want to say one thing, Kim.

You giving Lisa Rinna that bunny was really (BLEEP).

- But in an Erika Jayne [indistinct].

- Giving Lisa Rinna that bunny was really (BLEEP).

- Okay, let's take a picture. [inaudible].

- Lisa and I just don't have a good history.

It hasn't gone very smoothly. We've had more downs than ups.

- Don't you ----ing ever touch--

- You don't want out? - Do you understand that?

Don't you ever go after my ----ing husband!

- Nice to see you. - Nice to see you.

- This is for your grandchild. - Oh, thank you.

I brought the bunny, because I never gave it to my grandson,

because it didn't feel like it had good energy. I'm sorry.

She didn't need to be crude and rude and disrespectful.

- That's Erika speaking.

- Erika does not do that.

I don't recall Erika being quite like that.

- I feel very attacked again by her.

I'm not even hearing anything but "See you next Tuesday."

- Okay. Oh, my goodness gracious.

- Are you kidding? - That was super awkward.

That was really weird. Okay, that was weird.

- Giving Lisa Rinna that bunny was really (BLEEP)!

- Okay. Oh, my goodness gracious.

- Are you kidding? - That was super awkward.

That was really weird. Okay, that was weird. Not good.

- That was so fun. - That was really unbelievable.

- I like being Erika. It's fun. - That was wrong.

Was that not wrong?

- Yeah.

- You guys, what's happening? - Kim feels upset.

- Well, that was uncalled for. That was very uncalled for.

- I feel it was inappropriate, and it was rude, and it's--

- It's over.

- Is she holding a grudge? - 100%.

Lisa always acts like this

because she's always looking for attention.

That's Lisa. That's Lisa Rinna.

Don't try to blame beautiful Erika Jayne

for Lisa Rinna's behavior.

Eh-eh. Eh.

When is somebody gonna grow up? And obviously it's not her,

running around in Erika Jayne's ponytails tonight.

- Well, I think she looks great.

I would love to wear Erika Jayne's ponytails.

I wish I thought of that costume.

- But then she needs to at least--well,

that's beside the point.

- Well, then make it beside the point.

- I am making the point. The point--

- Why is she talking about her costume?

- Because she was rude to me, Denise.

- But that has nothing to do about her costume.

Lisa is one of my best friends,

so we've obviously talked about Kim Richards

and that situation, and it really hurt her.

- I'm gonna walk away for just a second,

'cause this just doesn't feel quite right.

- I don't think it's cool at all.

- Isn't it a ----ing stuffed animal

that we're talking about?

And you know what? It really hurt her feelings.

- That is a lie. - It's not a lie.

It's not a ----ing lie, Kim. It hurt her feelings.

- Well, I don't believe that.

Have you ever thought about my feelings, Denise?

Were you talked about for years and years? She's disrespectful.

Denise should just stand back and mind her own business,

because it really is between Lisa and I.

- Let it ----ing go. - What? Me let it go?

- Was it the best thing to say?

No, but it's not anything to annihilate her.

- She's not annihilating. She's not wrong though.

So give her that, because she's not wrong.

Regardless, it doesn't make sense what she did.

That wasn't okay.

- I'm sorry your feelings are hurt.

- My feelings aren't hurt.

- Then what's the problem?

- Okay.

I don't think you get it. Okay.

- We're done. We're done. Bye.

- They need to let it ----ing go.

Who cares about some fuzzy ----ing bunny?

[electronic dance music]

♪ ♪

- Is that an extra sock you got down there or what?

Okay, okay. A little cutback.

- Yeah, I love it.

- Here's Rinna. - Hello.

- Rinna is not here.

Rinna couldn't come tonight. - Oh, sorry. Sorry, sorry.

- Wait, where's Erika? - I don't give a (BLEEP)

about Rinna. I'm Erika Jayne.

- All right.

Well, let me tell you about Lisa Rinna.

- Baby--

- Are you leaving? - I'm out.

- Are you going to PK? - I'm done.

Yeah, I'm gonna go over here.

- You gonna go find Karl? - All right, let me tell you

what Erika Jayne's twin did.

- Okay, what did Erika Jayne's twin do?

- She said something about some ----ing

stuffed animal, a goddamn bunny.

- Kim has very strong feelings about it.

And so does Kyle. - Does she? Oh.

- And I think Teddi, because she walked away too.

- It's been two years of unresolved energy.

- You told Eden that I am near death,

that I am not in a good place. This is so treacherous.

- Well, Kim, you have to know

that I have only wanted to move on with you.

- I wish that it was different between the two of you.

- And the truth is giving Rinna

back that bunny was really (BLEEP).

I'm sorry.

Until she goes to Rinna and, like, has a heart-to-heart

with Rinna, (BLEEP) her.

- You are so channeling your Erika Jayne.

So Erika, are we good?

- Yeah, we are. Did you--did you want me

to bring a message back to Lisa Rinna at all?

- Yes. - Okay.

- Wait. Wait, wait, wait. Can I--

- No, I want her to be Lisa Rinna

in this moment. For real.

- All right. Okay. - Let's--like, for real.

- Okay. All right.

- Then let us have a moment alone.

- Yeah, we'll leave. - I don't mind.

- If you want to have a private moment with me, Lisa Rinna,

then we can.

- Let's ----ing go. - Let's have a seat.

- Let's sit.

- I'm not looking for a fight, Lisa.

- Okay.

- First of all, I think you look beautiful.

- Thank you.

I have definitely been over the top

and in character tonight, I will say that.

- All right. All right.

Do you want to say you're sorry?

- Well, you've still never apologized to me

for that moment.

- But what about you apologizing to me?

- I have. I used to have a nice relationship with you.

- Yes.

- So I would be happy to go back to that.

- But then you have to be nice, Lisa.

- Well, I know, Kim.

You know, that wasn't appropriate.

I agree. But also what you did was not appropriate,

and you've never apologized for it.

- Wait, wait, wait,

because there was such bad stuff between us.

I couldn't find it in me.

- I mean, I get it. I can see your side of that.

- The bunny represented lots of mean things said,

lots of damage done.

I really didn't feel it was wrong when I gave it back.

Honestly, I was very hurt

by a lot of things she did and said.

Sorry.

- You know, I really took me off-guard to be honest, and--

- To see me?

- I was scared to see you, I think.

I was scared to see you. - I'm so sorry.

- And I reacted that way.

That's not--that's not who I am, so.

Giving me the bunny back was by far the most hurt

I've ever been in this group.

- I don't really know what's real and what's not with you.

- (BLEEP). It was like a gut punch.

It just really hurt me.

I'm sorry for whatever has happened between us.

How about that? I'll say that to you right now.

- Me too. - Can we move on?

- Let's just forgive each other, right?

- And I'm just glad that we're having

this conversation under this, like, dead angel.

Maybe that's a sign.

- Let's see how long we can do this.

- Let's try to make it for a while, okay?

- Wow. - Miracles happen.

See, you never know. - Yeah.

- Next on "The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills"...

- Can you get me a double?

- Two glasses? - In one.

If you bring me two glasses, I will kill you.

- Okay. - Here, cheers.

- Cheers, bitch. - Cheers, bitch.

- I don't like the way

that Teddi has been acting towards me.

She's just gotten a little big for her britches.

- Hello? - Remember when we were talking

about going on our girls' trip?

There is the most gorgeous spot in Provence, France.

- I would love it. - That's where we're staying?

- Yeah.

- That's where we're gonna stay.

- So is Camille invited?

- Of course. We're gonna meet her in France.

- Denise, how are you?

- The fire is literally on PCH.

I think our house might be burning down.

both: No!

- We're sitting here watching the plumes of smoke coming up.

- To learn more about the Housewives,

go to bravotv.com.