Original subtitles

[techno music]

♪ ♪

- Here we are.

- Where did you find this guy?

- He's supposedly the best.

- Hello. - Hello.

- Hi. Hi. - This is Lisa.

- Hello, Lisa Vanderpump. - Pleased to meet you.

- Hi. John. Good to see you.

- Pleased to meet you. - Yeah, so--

- You got the-- you got the questions, right?

- We're ready. - Okay. Perfect.

- Okay, so did you email him?

The one about "did you give the story..."

- Did you give the story to Radar Online?

- Right. - Do you know anyone

that gave the story to Radar Online?

- Right, those are the two most important ones.

- How can you tell if she's lying?

- We're going to be reading... - I'm not lying.

- I know, but how do we know it's accurate?

- It's almost 100%.

- After all the bullsh-- and the attacks from the women...

You think I would give a story to Radar Online...

- Yes. - About Dorit?

- Yes.

- I'm sorry, I've got to draw a line in the sand.

If you believe I gave the story to Radar Online,

we don't have a friendship.

How do you prove your innocence?

What do I have to do?

Take a lie detector test?

All right, then.

- This is going to be scored as if it was a serious legal

or criminal test using federal guidelines.

- Okay. - Now I'm really nervous.

- You've got a reason to be nervous.

I know that I'm 1,000% not guilty.

Otherwise, why would I volunteer for it?

I'm not stupid as I look.

This is basically me with a group of friends,

and they've accused me of doing something,

and there am I saying,

"Absolutely I didn't do that."

And then I'm like, "I swear on my childrens' life."

- She's been friends with these women, some of them,

for over ten years, so it's been awful

that your closest friends are accusing you

of something that you know you didn't do.

- Well, I'm neutral. - So...

- But I've been testing over 30 years.

If she's lying, I'm gonna catch it in a second.

If she's telling the truth, she's going to pass.

- Good. Let's do it. - Okay.

[light suspenseful music]

♪ ♪

Do you live in Texas?

- No.

- Are you in California?

- Yes.

- Do you know how to drive a car?

- Yes.

- Do you think Dorit's face has changed in the last year

as much as her accent?

- I had to throw that one in.

- Answer it.

- She's had a head transplant.

Just don't ask me if Erika's tucking it under

or something like that,

because there are some things I can't lie about.

- Have you ever given a story to Radar Online

about Dorit Kemsley?

abandoning her dog to a shelter?

- No.

[light suspenseful music]

Do you know who gave a story to Radar Online

about Dorit abandoning her dog?

- No.

♪ ♪

Do you think you will ever forget the hurtful accusations

made by your close friends?

- No.

- Do you believe these women who have accused you

of giving a story to Radar Online are your true friends?

♪ ♪

- No.

- Okay, that's the end of that chart.

- Sir, you can do any of it again if you want,

'cause I do feel a bit nervous.

- I've been testing over 30 years.

I've tested over 10,000 people.

The scoring program agrees with me.

It says there is zero chance that you are lying

on any of the questions of importance.

- Oh, yes! - Oh, dear. What?

- I don't know what I'm gonna do with these results.

Maybe I will just keep them in my back pocket

and maybe shove it up their ass

if ever I come across them

just to prove you bunch of assholes

are barking up the wrong tree.

Thank you so much. - Lisa, thank you.

- Thank you. - Gosh, this is so exciting.

- Oh, that was great. That was really great.

[techno music]

♪ ♪

- Hi, honey. - Ow.

I just spilled all over myself.

- Can you believe Camille's getting married?

- No. - So, she's happy.

She's very excited.

We are all going to Hawaii

for Camille's wedding,

and yes, it's a long way to go for a wedding,

but she's our friend.

- And you're a bridesmaid?

- I know, it's so weird.

- I wanted to ask you to be one of my bridesmaids.

- Aww, I would love to do that.

This is kinda funny.

I mean, when you go back

to being at dinner at Camille's house...

Camille, you sat through the entire night like this,

you know, with your hand like that...

- But that's who I am, Kyle.

- No, that's not who you are, Camille.

That's who you are pretending to be.

And now look. I'm a bridesmaid.

- That's your plain outfit?

- Don't judge.

- [laughing] - By the way,

I thought this wasn't even gonna make it in time.

It made it literally in the 11th hour.

It has cap sleeves.

That's not my best look. But forgetting that,

it wouldn't even close around my boobs.

Lovely.

So I had to take it to be altered.

We're having to fix the situation,

just so you see.

- Like this.

- Hey, it's not my fault

I have big boobs that are natural.

[giggling]

- Does it fit now?

- Barely.

- [laughs]

- What are you gonna wear for the wedding?

- She said it's elegant.

- So, this is actually one of the dresses I have

that you haven't borrowed.

[both laughing]

I'm just gonna do this.

- And these? - With those, exactly.

[upbeat music]

- [coughs]

Oh, God, I have a sore throat. I hope I'm not getting sick.

Rocky, I wish you could come to Hawaii with me.

Come. [whistling]

I don't think I want to take you to Hawaii, actually.

♪ ♪

- Can you tell Edwin maybe he needs to pack for Hawaii?

Not tomorrow when you're making me late

and making me a crazy person.

- I'm not-- I'm staying out of this.

- I'm sort of already packed... - No.

- In my mind. - You can't pack in your mind.

That doesn't exist. And then we're late.

♪ ♪

- Hi. Very excited to go to Hawaii.

♪ ♪

- I am going to the big island.

- Hello. How are you doing?

- How many bags for you two?

- Uh, we are checking three. - Checking this?

Oh, I want my name on it, though.

This I can take on the plane, right?

- Yes. - 'Cause it has my

bridesmaid's dress.

Very important.

♪ ♪

- Aloha. Look at you.

How cute.

- Thank you. - [indistinct]

[bright music]

- A Mai Tai? Thank you.

I love we're all double-fisting.

- I know.

[overlapping chatter]

- Ah, wait, wait. Mine goes--

- Oh, it goes flat-flat. - Oh, flat-flat.

Oh, yeah.

- I always think it's nice to go to a destination wedding.

Do you know anybody that's ever not happy in Hawaii?

No. People are not mad in Hawaii.

♪ ♪

- Aloha.

- Ah, we made it!

- Are you a bridesmaid, Teddi?

- No, I'm not a bridesmaid.

Probably almost got uninvited to the wedding

when we went camping.

Despite the kind of awkward ending Camille and I had

during the camping trip...

- You sat down with Lisa Rinna and you said,

"I know, because I know everything,

'cause I know, 'cause I know." And I was like--

- I didn't say I know everything.

I said I'm very direct. - You said, "I know a lot."

- I don't think her wedding weekend is the time

to dig up our past issues.

I want to be a good person to her.

So I'm gonna show up.

Aloha.

♪ ♪

- Edwin, did Teddi fill you in on the Camille sex talk?

- When Camille talks sex talk, it's next-level.

- A man has a better orgasm if you massage their prostate,

and you do that by going up their rectum.

- What?!

[laughter]

- Think that'd be too much

if while Camille's walking down the aisle, we go...

[laughter]

Ahhhh!

- Please, God, help us all.

[dynamic music]

♪ ♪

- Look at how amazing this is. - Wow.

- Gorgeous. Oh, lovely.

- This is beautiful.

- Welcome to the Waikoloa Beach Marriott.

- I love my lei.

- Harry and I have been married for 21 years.

It is not hard when I'm gone,

because we are self-reliant people.

I do not have a codependent relationship with my husband.

I can be away from him, and he can be away from me,

and we are okay with that.

- Hello. - These are cool.

- Just don't--don't use those as butt beads.

- I was gonna say...

- Wow. - Oh, wow.

- It's beautiful. What an amazing place.

- Isn't this pretty? - Perfect.

- Aloha.

- Dorit, this is your suite here.

Your master bedroom. - Oh, look at this.

- You have your own backyard, pretty much

to enjoy the view in the back there,

our--Anaeho'omalu Beach.

- This is beautiful.

- All right. This is where the party is, huh?

- Ah, the view is amazing.

Babe, we should sleep out here.

- This is beautiful.

- Ah. Feels kind of peaceful.

- [coughing]

May I order a very large hot water,

lots of lemon.

and then lots of honey?

'Cause I'm feeling like I've got a little sore throat,

so I want to try to nip it in the bud.

- So happy to be here and relax.

- Where is her home, do you know?

- Nope. I know nothing.

I have no idea what's happening

for this wedding this trip.

I haven't gone through the schedule. What is it?

- We have a paddleboarding/canoe activity.

- And then that's the wedding that night?

- No. - And then the next day

is the wedding?

Killing it as a bridesmaid!

I know I'm in Hawaii.

I'm excited to be here, and that is it.

- All right.

- Coming up...

Guess who was there taking a lie detector test.

♪ ♪

[mellow music]

♪ ♪

- Hi! - Hello!

- Hello. - Hello, bride-to-be.

- Welcome!

- You look so good. Hi.

- Thank you for coming. - Thanks for having us.

You look gorgeous.

- Thank you so much for having us.

- Hey!

- Look at you with heels on in the sand and everything.

- Awesome! - Look at the bride.

- Thank you.

Thank you so much.

So good to see you. - I know.

- Where's David? - He's off with his friends.

- Look how nice this is.

- This is my piece of heaven, yeah.

I really wanted you to get a feel of the island

and what I love about, you know--

everything I love about this place.

Hawaii is very near and dear to my heart.

I used to bring my kids here when they were very young.

I have so many wonderful memories.

- Looking good, baby. Really good.

Lucky man I am.

- I'm just gonna have people come around

and just kiss my ass and tell me how wonderful I am.

It's where I went to heal from my divorce.

Does she not know that she's destroying a family?

- [whispering] I felt so bad.

- She's destroying my family.

Destroying my--my children.

They're gonna be just devastated without their dad.

But I'm getting married to David,

and there's so many great things ahead for the two of us.

So we'll have a fun morning planned.

I know we have a busy day,

but I really wanted to tell you what happened.

Lisa Vanderpump said, "I'd love to talk to you."

- Oh.

- She explained why she wasn't coming to my wedding.

She explained a little bit about the falling out

with Kyle.

You both have a special friendship.

- We don't. It's done.

- She didn't want the drama about it.

She didn't want to make it, like, about her, you know.

- She never responded to my text messages or my email.

Using me as an excuse not to come to Camille's wedding

is a cheap shot.

I don't get why

she doesn't just come around and say, "Girls..."

I, you know--I don't know why this time is so much different.

- Kyle, you're in a tough position.

There's no question.

- No, but Camille, how do you feel

about her not being here? - Yeah, exactly.

- I feel sad. I think I'm disappointed

that she didn't show up.

I wanted her to put this stuff aside...

- Right. - Because in the long run,

a year from now, we will be looking back going,

"Oh, how ridiculous this was."

- Camille, she doesn't have an issue with you right now.

- No, she has no issue with me. - So why isn't she here?

- I agree. - Why...

- She said she's so upset. - Okay, well, you know what?

You know, weddings are such a great way

to bring people together.

It's about celebration; it's about love.

And I always feel like no matter what's going on,

you show up.

Vanderpump's made it really clear

that she wants nothing to do with us--

that she doesn't want to speak to us,

she doesn't want to see us.

- You just celebrate somebody's wedding

who you've been a friend of for a very long time.

I don't get it. I respect her.

I'm done with it. The end.

- Let's go in the water. - That's more of a workout.

- All right, let's do it.

[bright music]

♪ ♪

- Don't I look like a pro? - No.

You're lucky your body looks good,

'cause your talent level... [laughs]

- Kyle, is this your first time paddleboarding?

- No. - Well, it looks like it.

- I can stand. - We're shallow right here.

- I know, we gotta get out of here.

- Oh, sh--. No.

- Is that a rock? - No.

It's a big rock. Oh, sh--.

Oh, sh--!

- No, no, no!

You saved it! - [laughing]

I'm here to relax and enjoy myself.

I don't want to stand up and work this hard

and maybe fall in and get eaten by a shark

or stung by a jellyfish, you know?

I'm going back.

I'm done.

- Yay, I got you girls out on the boards.

You all were awesome.

[techno music]

♪ ♪

[phone ringing]

- Hey. - Hi, schweet babe.

Are you close? - Hi, schweet babe.

I'm coming [indistinct] right now.

- I'll see you in a minute.

I'm getting ready to leave town soon

to shoot another movie,

but I am a summer girl,

so I would selfishly rather be in Hawaii

and celebrate Camille's wedding

than Connecticut in the winter.

[raps door]

- Schweet babe.

- Schweet babe! - Oh, hi, schweet babe.

How are you? - Hi, schweet babe.

How are you? - I'm well.

And I know you're doing well,

because this is beautiful out here.

- I've known Patrick Muldoon since I was 19 years old.

We call each other "schweet babe"

because we had nicknames on "Starship Troopers"

for everyone.

- What do you think of our script?

- I like it. - Yeah?

- It's cute.

Patrick and I dated,

and we were on and off for quite a few years.

- I don't even think I've read this version of the script.

- We're getting ready to do a Christmas movie together.

- Interior, day. Valerie Nolan, 30s.

- It said "30s." I was like, "I'll do it."

- Yeah, how old am I? - [laughs]

I don't even think of this

as me working with my ex-boyfriend.

I think of this as me working with one of my best friends.

It's so nice out. - Oh, yeah.

This is beautiful.

It doesn't get any better than this.

- Schweet babe, come over in the shade.

You'll thank me later.

- Cool.

I'm leathery, I know.

- No, you're not.

- It's all those years in the sun.

- My ex-husbands aged me terribly, I think.

[both laugh] A little bit.

- Little bit. - A teeny, weeny bit.

Charlie came over for Thanksgiving for dinner

a few years ago,

and he had a hooker in the car in the driveway.

And he's like, you know, was afraid to tell me.

"Well, she's in the driveway.

Is it okay if she's in the driveway?"

I'm like...

[sighs] Guess I'll set a ----ing plate.

- You have a thing for bad boys.

- Uh-uh.

No, I ----ing don't.

- Yeah, you do.

- Even a hooker deserves to have Thanksgiving dinner.

Are you considered a bad boy?

[chuckles] - Yeah.

[both laughing]

- Coming up...

- You don't ever want that Playboy chick

that everybody wants to (BLEEP).

- What?! What do you mean?

[gasps] Edwin, I am that Playboy chick.

Twice!

[steel guitar playing]

♪ ♪

- You ready? - I'm ready.

- Oh, we have the same room.

Excuse me.

You have seven pairs of sunglasses?

- Get your mitts off. - Oh, my God.

Who does this? - A girl needs options.

- Oh, my God.

all: Hello.

- Hello, guys.

- What's up? - Let's go.

Sprinter.

[mellow techno music]

♪ ♪

- I've never been a bridesmaid.

- Who's the maid of honor?

- I think Mason's the maid of honor.

- Maybe me. I don't know.

- Maybe you should've been

asked to be a bridesmaid. - Oh, yeah.

- Teddi almost didn't even come

'cause they got in a little argument.

- I know. I was like... - 'Cause Teddi's a know-it-all.

- That's me.

- We are here.

- We are here.

- Look how pretty this house is, guys.

- All right, guys. - Thank you, [indistinct].

- You're welcome. - It smells delicious.

[Hawaiian music]

♪ ♪

- Hello, welcome. - You look beautiful.

This is amazing. - I know, I'm sorry to...

- What a... - When I see Teddi,

there's a little awkwardness.

I'm not really focused on my relationship with Teddi,

but I'm happy that she made the effort to come.

- Oh, my gosh. Wow.

- Oh, thank you. - Wow. Like, wow.

Stunning, Camille.

- Thank you. - Gorgeous.

- This is why when I disappear,

this is where I disappear to.

- I mean, I can see why.

- This is where...

Kelsey and I sold the old house

about six years ago.

And I moved into this home soon after.

This is just for you. - Wow, look how open it is.

- The entrance to the home is pretty grand.

There's a great room,

and it has beautiful vista views of the ocean.

It's a very relaxing, calming house for me.

It's my very own, and I'm proud of it.

Hello! - Hey, Lisa.

How are you? - Oh, I'm good.

- Great. - Nice to see you.

There's my daughter. - Oh, that's great.

- Can you believe you're getting married?

I can't believe it.

- I was stressed yesterday. - Where's your mom?

- My mom is in the hospital.

- She's in the hospital? - Mm-hmm.

My mom has been very sick for the last ten years.

How are you feeling? You look good.

- I feel good. - Considering everything

you've been through and...

- It's been a journey.

- I'm glad that Kelsey found

a really great doctor for you.

I've been spending a lot of time on the phone with her.

She's back on the east coast.

I talked about postponing the wedding for her,

and she said, "No, no, no.

Camille, it's all set up. Do not."

And so I've been praying and hoping

that she'll feel better

and she'll be able to get on a plane

and be there for my wedding.

- She'll be here, though.

I feel like she's gonna be here.

- Okay, good.

- I feel so bad for Camille.

After everything she's been through

with her own cancer...

I am still living. My mom's still here.

And I'm here to give back!

- And now her mother may not be able to come to her wedding?

Other than the groom,

that's like the most important person for Camille to be there.

Tell us where to sit. - Yes.

[upbeat music]

- Sit down. - Cheers to them.

- You guys, cheers.

[overlapping chatter]

- All at Denise.

- [indistinct].

And I know that Erika would love to be here.

She sends her love and wishes she could be here.

♪ ♪

- What is--wow, look at that pasta and cheese!

- Oh, my God. - Wow.

- Go deep so you get a little of the parmesan on the bottom.

- Who's starting? Go.

- Oh, my God, that looks amazing.

This pasta and the cheese wheel has followed me

from Beverly Hills.

- Italian, Italian way. - Oh, my...

- Holy guacamole.

Is this cheese? - Yes.

- Okay, now I do need some of that.

- It's a big wheel. - Forget my diet.

The dress finally zips,

and now I'm eating all this pasta.

I swear I'm being sabotaged.

- That is so pretty.

- I don't even know if I can go there.

- Ready? - Oh yeah, thank you.

- That's a great way to...

- Normally I am not a carb person in the evening.

It'll be the first time in a long time.

I'm, like--I'm giving myself a little out here.

- Does anybody want more pasta before they take this away?

- I would like about a lot more, but I'm done.

Love it, though. - It was insane.

- Okay, can I say something personal?

- Sure.

- What's your favorite thing about Harry

and your least favorite thing?

- My favorite thing is, he's a good human being.

The least thing I like about him

is he chews his gum, and it's blue.

- 20-something years together, Lisa,

and blue gum is what bothers you the most about Harry?

Someone is not being forthcoming.

- Okay, your turn.

- My favorite thing is that I...

I am a control freak.

all: No!

- No way.

- But he constantly teases me

and makes those moments lighter for me.

My least favorite thing is

probably the same as my favorite, is that

I can't control every aspect of him.

- That can't be your favorite and least favorite.

- Yeah, pick another thing. - Cop-out.

- You know what's crazy about that--

I'm literally gonna say the same thing.

The fact that she's so organized,

which I love, but it's also the one thing I hate about her.

She's always on my ass. So...

- You'll be dead tomorrow. - It's kinda--

sorta the same thing.

- Organization is your number one?

- You'll be dead by sunrise.

- Okay, your turn.

- My favorite thing about my husband

is that he's always upbeat and positive.

My least favorite is...

probably the immaturity level sometimes.

- Oh, wow.

- Okay, what about you?

- My least favorite thing about Kyle is that she's just, um--

she's stubborn.

- Oh, yeah, I can see that. - Ah.

- My favorite part about Kyle is her sense of humor.

She makes me laugh, and she's an incredible mother.

She's a carer, she's a giver--

she's just amazing.

- You're dead.

[mellow music]

- When I rented the house next to--two houses down,

I didn't realize it was my future husband.

I was worried about my ex-husband.

You know, he had quite a reputation

of being a bad boy in Hollywood.

- So you guys came without husbands this trip, right?

- I don't have one.

- Maybe you don't want one, honestly.

I mean, they're a big pain in the ass.

I'm impossible.

- With David, it's a little different because

he's a nine-to-fiver.

Different hours, different ideology.

Different personality.

Are you guys okay? I don't think--

I'll be right there, David.

I'm gonna sit down for a second.

- Hi. - Hi.

- I may have to go to bed a little early...

- I know. - Tonight, because...

I need some vitamin C and a bed.

Do you mind if we-- if we're that early?

- No, not at all. I'm gonna--no, I'm--

yeah, this is gonna end shortly anyway,

because I need to go to bed. - 'Cause we need to.

- I'm getting up early to meet you girls in the morning.

I am so excited that my friends are here.

- Well, thank you for coming.

- To celebrate with me.

Taking this next step.

- Bye, see you later.

- What a fun night. - Absolutely.

- You know why I love your wife?

She's so organized.

[laughter]

- You know what's organized?

This to be closed

the rest of the ----ing trip.

- I guess what I'm trying to say is,

you don't ever want that Playboy chick

that everybody wants to (BLEEP).

- What?! What do you mean?

[gasps]

Edwin, I am that Playboy chick.

- Twice! - Okay!

- I'm a two-time Playboy chick!

- I had no idea. I'm sorry.

- Your wife is not Playboy material?

- You like organized women.

[laughter]

- Coming up...

- Should we just have another kid,

just a boy, just for the sake of it?

- Honey, what do you think I am, a machine?

[relaxed techno music]

♪ ♪

- Whoo!

♪ ♪

- That was refreshing. - I know.

♪ ♪

- [coughing]

♪ ♪

- Hi. - [wheezing]

- You okay? - [hoarsely] I'm all right.

- Oh, Lisa, I'm sorry. - Don't touch me.

I feel so bad. I don't know what to do.

- There's nothing to do. I feel okay.

I just can't talk, you know.

- Oh, you've got Halls. Oh, good.

- This is helping. - Aww.

I mean, maybe with some good tea and some cough drops,

you'll feel a bit better.

- Time, you know? - Yeah.

- Just a little time of rest to my voice,

I'm gonna be okay.

[bright music]

♪ ♪

[both sigh contentedly]

- [groans] Yeah.

- Now I feel relaxed.

- Typically we'd have the kids here.

- Jumping, wanting to go down the slide 6,000 times.

- Saying, "Mommy, Mommy." - "Mommy, Mommy."

Do you think that the kids can feel a difference

with how much I'm working right now?

- Definitely.

- Hey, guys, I know it's Tuesday

and all the pictures are coming in aggressively.

Take time to make the collages.

- But Mom...

- You know, some mornings feel a little crazier,

racing around the kids.

Put 'em on the bed

and get it done.

- You just love those videos?

- Yeah, that was for my client.

- I don't want you to go.

- Stop it. Look at my face. - I want you to be here.

- I love the idea of being able

to open up more time for me to spend with the kids,

and then once I started looking at it,

I was like, "I don't...

I don't know that I want to sell 50% of my company."

I don't know, my gut is telling me I'm happy.

With my business growing,

there's over 35 coaches.

We have 1,000 clients.

Like, it's...

it's huge.

And now I have been approached to sell

a portion of my company.

- Okay, when you would go to sell the company,

if you chose to ever sell it,

all of the IP

to your program is owned by you and this entity.

- Okay.

Financially, it would be great.

The amount of time I would have would be great.

But it's no longer my baby.

These choices are now a group decision.

- You have the opportunity to scale, like, now,

and big time, and...

- But do you think that this is at the expense of, like...

- Expense of what?

- Like, the kids?

- Well, baby, you can still...

- I want them to know that I'm always there.

- You'll find time.

And you'll always be there.

The most important thing is for you to be happy,

and if this makes you happy,

then you're gonna be able to make them happy.

[warm music]

You do not need to worry about all that.

And remember... - But I'm a worrier.

That's who I am.

I guess the guilt comes too, you know?

- Well, the guilt's gonna come if you don't do it.

You're gonna blame it on the kids one day.

Or me. - [laughing]

- Exactly. Or me.

- It's getting hot in here. - Do what you want to do.

- So I'm gonna take a little dip in the pool.

- All right.

[lively techno music]

♪ ♪

- All right, here we go.

We're rolling. - Take one.

A and B common mark.

- And... action!

- Go play. Shoo, shoo. Shoo, shoo.

- You shouldn't have come up here.

- Cut.

- It makes me feel good that I don't have to worry

about my husband being jealous

that I'm on location with, you know,

my ex-boyfriend.

- Schweet babe!

- Aaron really respects my relationship with Patrick.

Charlie did not, so while we were married,

I wasn't really allowed to talk to Patrick.

I loved that show so much.

- Aww, thank you.

- We were talking up--that wouldn't go over very well...

- We all loved your show. - Today.

- Why?

- Well, she's waiting for her master, and...

- Nuh-uh. - You don't think so?

- No, of course not. That was her job.

And a genie's not a woman, she's an entity.

- Ooh. - Okay.

- Whoo! [overlapping chatter]

- It's true.

- I like that. - That's quotable.

- That gave me chills.

I would love to be Jeannie.

That'd be so fun to wear that cool outfit

and live in a bottle.

I would love that.

[shimmering tone]

- You didn't see the stuff that I shot without you.

- Well, when she was going in to get the globe,

it was like, she gives the globe sexy looks

and has this stance. It was really great.

- So if that's true, then why is there no love scene?

- Because this is a family movie.

- Okay. - [laughing]

- Just ignore him. - [muttering]

- He won't stop.

[steel guitar playing]

♪ ♪

- So hungry.

Crunchy French toast? [gasps]

495 calories.

- Aloha, welcome. - Hey, how are you, Sharon?

- Good. - Do you have green cheese?

- I'd like... - Sure.

- I'll do coffee, too, and water.

- Okay, my dear. I'll be right with you.

- I'll do everything. - Okay.

- I love it here. We always go to Mexico,

and I haven't been coming to Hawaii anymore.

- I love it here.

Like, as we get older,

like, where do you see you and I spending

the majority of our time?

- I mean, I'm more of a mountain person

than a beach person.

And LA too, obviously, 'cause our kids are gonna have kids

one day, and we're gonna want to be here

with their kids.

- What am I gonna do with the Umansky name?

Like, it's just gonna disappear with me?

Should we just have another kid, just a boy,

just for the sake of it? - Honey....

Are you kidding me?

Really? Where were you years ago

when I asked you this question?

We go back and forth

about another baby.

I'm not pregnant.

- [scoffs]

- But... - Right.

- I think I would like to be.

- Oh, my God.

- I mean, I hate to burst your bubble,

but do you know how old I am now?

What do you think I am? A machine?

[giggling]

No.

- Talking about the kids, the other thing I need

to talk to you about is, um...

we need to finish out all our trust, wills, testaments.

They've been chasing us. - It gives me so much anxiety.

- We need to finish. It's not fair to our kids,

by the way. It's really not.

- I know. When your kids are little,

it's like, who would be willing to take care of our kids?

And now that they're older,

Portia has these three adult sisters.

It's made it a lot easier.

But still scary as hell.

- Your life insurance exam came back.

They told me I was the highest you can be

in terms of health,

and you came in higher than me.

- I did? - Like, you're the super-duper

preferred--yeah.

Like, you're perfect. - Are you lying?

- Nope. Yeah, no. You're, like, in perfect shape.

You're super-preferred amazing. - [indistinct]

- Oh, yay, thank you. - Ooh, wow.

That was nice of you all. - Thank you.

This is why I score so high.

- Exactly.

Coming up...

People who do this--

can just go and make an appointment

to take a lie detector test...

- Who administers the questions

at a lie detector test?

Do you say, "Here, ask me these questions"?

[relaxed music]

♪ ♪

- This is pretty out here. - Aww.

Honey, you shouldn't have. [laughs]

- Thank you.

- Camille is busy tonight with her pre-wedding preparations.

- Where shall we sit? - I don't know.

- I mean, am I supposed to be with Camille tonight?

I mean, I wasn't invited. I don't know.

I really don't know the responsibilities

of a bridesmaid.

- So we do have some amazing cocktails.

It's gonna be listed right on this page here.

- Tequila? - A tea.

- If you haven't tried the lilikoi margarita...

- I'll do tea this time. - It's divine.

It's passion fruit. - Oh, I'll have that.

No salt. - Okay.

- Can she have a chamomile tea with honey and lemon, please?

- Yeah, absolutely.

All right, we'll go ahead and get you started with that.

- Thank you, [indistinct]. - Thank you.

- Thank you so much. - So much appreciated.

- [clears throat]

- Rinna, I've never heard you so quiet.

- I know, it's frustrating.

- So I'm gonna speak for her.

- No problem with that. [laughter]

- Oh, my God.

- [chuckles]

[nervous laughter]

- Jeez Louise.

Something seems a little off with Mauricio.

I think he may be enjoying this island life

and partaking in some of their offerings.

- So the wedding's tomorrow.

- I'm very happy for them, and I think it's really nice

two people have an opportunity to have a second turn...

- Yeah. - You know, to be able to--

and hopefully, I mean, the ultimate goal

is to hopefully be with somebody until the end, right?

So hopefully, you know, that, you know, occurs for them.

And I really, genuinely feel

like they are good for each other.

[laughs]

- I don't think I've heard the word "hopefully" use more.

- This is for you. - Oh, did I say it often?

[laughter] - Often.

[laughter]

- Cheers, Rinna, with your tea.

all: Cheers.

- Here's to--should we make a toast to Camille and David?

- To Camille and David. - Salud.

- Cheers.

- So anyway, something...

very interesting I found out today.

My daughter Alexia's very close friend was burglarized.

And her house was under construction

when the burglary happened.

So they took the construction workers

to have a lie detector test.

Guess who was there

taking a lie detector test.

- Who?

- Lisa.

Lisa Vanderpump was there

taking a lie detector test.

- What?!

I'm confused. Why... - Why would she do that?

- She's obviously taking a lie detector test

to say she's innocent from whatever--

she acts like she's being

accused of murder, for God sakes.

- I know. That's what I can't understand.

- One, this is, like, not even normal behavior.

- Last time I saw her,

Lisa Vanderpump talked about

taking a lie detector test to "clear her name."

- What do you want me to do?

You want me to take a lie detector test?

- No, I don't want you to take a lie detector test.

I did not expect this!

- When she brought it up... - That is crazy.

- Who administers the questions at a lie detector test?

Do you say, "Here, ask me these questions"?

[laughter]

- You got the questions, right?

- We're ready. - Okay.

- Perfect. - Okay.

So did you email him

the one about "did you give the story..."?

- Did you give the story to Radar Online?

- Right. - Do you know anyone

that gave the story to Radar Online?

- Right. Those are the two most important ones.

- Lie detector tests aren't even accurate.

- No, I know.

Innocent people fail them all the time;

guilty people pass them. It's stupid.

- They're not admissible in court.

- No.

- They're not admissible in court.

- And you can train yourself to pass them.

Ted Bundy passed.

- She's trying to focus on something that she can control,

like that, instead of the actual problem,

which is the initial thing she did with you,

Vanderpump Dogs thing, 'cause that's the betrayal.

- You could strip away

all of the "he said, she said" and everything.

Why do you think she does it?

- It's how she looks to the world.

She wants to be perceived as perfect.

And a saint.

- It was very surprising.

If Lisa were to hand me that piece of paper that said,

"Lisa passed with flying colors,"

do you think this is gonna change

everyone's opinion?

- Ay-yi-yi.

- So the wedding's tomorrow.

- The wedding is? Good. - Who's getting married?

[laughter]

- Honey... [giggling]

- That wasn't as profound.

- You know what? I can't.

I can't.

- [singing] It's amore.

[upbeat music]

- See, I like that... - Yeah.

- With the sparkly shoe.

- But I have to pull this down, otherwise...

it doesn't--it strangles me if it's all the way up.

Do not judge my bridesmaid skills.

I have not been a bridesmaid for at least 20-plus years.

So I'm gonna get out there.

I will hold her train.

I will powder her nose.

I will help lift her veil, whatever she wants.

- Okay. - Just let me just...

- At the wedding.

- Let me just make sure that this is...

- This is what I should be doing with her right now.

[dynamic music]

♪ ♪

- Mom, come on in.

- Camille, did you want me to get makeup or not?

'Cause I can do it.

I just didn't know if...

- Do you want to put some lip gloss on now?

Here, I'll do a little.

Do you have a little brush?

- Hello, how you doing? - I'm good. How are you doing?

- Hi, Mom. - [indistinct]

- I'm so happy you could make it.

My mom is Superwoman.

Out of the hospital, on a plane to Hawaii.

Are you okay? - Yeah.

- She's an inspiration to me.

I hope that I would have her strength

if I was in the same situation.

I'm not sure if I do.

Thank you.

Mm, I love you so much.

I am just so happy that she can be here

for my big day.

Kyle! Hey, beautiful.

It looks great!

- I'm kinda between... - Wow!

- I had to tape it like that. - No, wow!

- [indistinct]. - It looks gorgeous!

- Thank you. - Come over here.

No, it looks so beautiful. Mwah!

You look so pretty!

- Mason, that's gonna be pretty on you.

- Thank you. - It is.

- How are you? - Hello, lady.

- So beautiful. - Good to see you.

- Oh, it's good to see you.

- So happy that you're here.

- Thank you. Me too.

- So this is what we're wearing, these? Okay.

Let's see. There's a mirror here.

- Do you think it's too big, or you like it?

- It's beautiful. Do you need help with anything?

- I'm okay. Go relax. - Okay.

- Have some champagne. - I don't want to feel

I'm not doing my duties.

[laughter]

[dynamic pop music]

♪ ♪

[quirky music]

♪ ♪

- What do you think?

- Oh, my God. [gasps]

Look at my arm. I have goose bumps. [gasps]

- We're gonna get her in that little car there.

- Whoo! Off to get married again!

This is number two!

Whoo!

Whooooo! [laughing]

[overlapping chatter]

[laughter]

This is a fresh new start for me.

Whoa! [all shouting]

I'm gonna be Mrs. Grammer Meyer.

Oh, God. I really want to make it to the wedding.

It's just easier to keep Grammer

because everybody knows me as Grammer.

And maybe I'm lazy.

There's a lot of paperwork.

Oh, yah!

Bye!

- Oh, my God, I'm gonna go backwards.

- Hilarious. Love this.

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

[birds chirping]

- Oh, Mo, I feel lucky to have you for, like,

for, like, the next 20, 30 minutes.

- I get to escort you and Rinna into the wedding.

- That's right.

- Hi, Rinna. - What's up, Rinna?

Feeling better today? - Feel a little better.

- Gonna choose to sit next to the "gorge."

- All right, ladies. - Let's do it.

- Here we go. - This is it.

This is it. It's official.

Yay.

Hey, Mom. - Hi.

Here we go.

- We made it just in the nick of time, Rinna.

- Just in the nick of time.

♪ ♪

- Come on, girls.

Be a part of the celebration here!

[overlapping chatter]

Come on.

[warm music]

♪ ♪

- Ah! Camille looked stunning.

Beautiful dress.

I mean, it is so gorgeous

because it's Hawaii,

and there's a rainbow.

And the wind is blowing, and it is absolutely magical.

- Welcome. Thank you for gathering here today.

This is ohana. This is the love of family.

- It's very touching to see Camille

finally have this day

that she's waited for.

She's been through so much.

- I, David... - Take you, Camille.

- Take you, Camille. - As my wife.

- As my wife.

- I, Camille... - Take you, David.

- Take you, David.

- As my husband. - As my husband.

- You may seal your vows with a kiss.

[cheers and applause]

- It's been a really long road for her,

and this is a new chapter.

And all of us could not be happier for her.

[cheers and applause]

- Next time on "The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills."

- This is a card. - From Lisa and Harry?

- Yeah, "many happy endings."

You told everybody about that.

- [scoffs] - Oh, my God.

- Lisa, she should have come to show support.

- ...a bitch. - And she pretends...

- Don't pretend to be so sweet and nice and...

- Camille needs to own her sh-- now.

- We need to do a couple extra images on yours, okay?

- Is everything okay? - Well, we'll find out.

- What's the matter? - I'm getting nervous.

- What happened? - My hands are, like, shaking.

- Oh, sweetie.

[all screaming]

[techno music]

- What's that?

- You bitch, you dressed like me!

- Pat the puss, honey!

- So she said one little thing?

- Okay, I don't think you get it.

- (BLEEP) her.

- To learn more about the housewives,

go to BravoTV.com.