Original subtitles

- Previously on "The Real

- Previously on "The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills."

- Hi. - Oh, my God.

What was I thinking?

- You guys, we're going on tour.

- This is what we've always dreamed of.

- Right? - Yeah!

- What happened to Vanderpump? - Obviously not coming.

- She's coming to your wedding, right?

- I don't know.

- You don't treat people you love like that.

I don't really want them to be part of my life.

- It's surreal when you see your kids become adults.

Oh, it just makes me cry.

- They'll always be your daughters.

- It goes so ----ing fast.

[all yelp]

- Camille's fired from this job.

Ow. - Okay, don't.

- You like to talk out of the side of your mouth,

but the second you're with somebody

to their face, you back down.

You have a whole other-- - Well, my face is right here.

[upbeat music]

- In the game of life, it's Rinna take all.

♪ ♪

- Most people talk about their fantasies.

I'm living mine.

- In business and in life,

I wear many hats and hairstyles.

- You can stab me in the back,

but whilst you're there, kiss my ass.

- I'm not afraid of hard work,

but I'll never do your dirty work.

- My problem with the tabloids?

My real life is so much juicier.

- In Beverly Hills,

the truth always has a way of rising to the top.

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- Okay, guys. - Here we go.

- Here she comes. - I love it.

- Wow. - Look!

- Stunning. - Wow.

- Aw, thank you. - Cinderella dress.

- I know. I feel like a princess.

♪ ♪

- I want to see the kitchen. - Okay.

- Oh, my gosh.

- Do you love it?

- This looks so good. - Isn't it gorgeous?

- This is unbelievable. - I know.

It's been a horrible few months,

but now, suddenly, this makes it feel so much better, right?

- It is very Lisa Vanderpump. - It is.

- And she deserves it, you know?

- Some people think so. Some people, not so much.

♪ ♪

- You haven't been to LA in a while.

What's it like coming home and performing to this crowd?

- Well, you know, LA's always tough,

because LA does not like to let loose, let's be honest.

Everybody's watching here, you know?

They're always, like--hm. - They're judge-y.

- Oh, Justin, they are so judge-y.

But that's okay. I'm here to have a good time.

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- Bubba? - Baby, I'm making you

a coffee. - Oh, good.

So how was your camping? - It was a fun time.

I did think to myself what it'd be like

to go with the kids. The kids would love it.

- Honey, nothing about us is RV holidays.

- It wasn't as roughing it as I thought.

- As it sounds.

- PK is not a wilderness kind of guy.

Not at all.

But this camper girl

can climb mountains, can rock climb...

[buzzer blares]

Can kick everyone's ass at beer pong.

[yells]

There's a new girl in town, and she likes the wild.

- Did you, like, brush your teeth

before you go to bed at all?

- When have I not brushed my teeth before I go to bed?

- Yeah, but how do you do it if there's no sink?

- Well, there's, like, a public restroom.

- Ugh. - Honey, it's camping.

It's not going to the Four Seasons.

- [chuckles]

- So, um--I told Camille that you can't go to the wedding.

- Honey, I've got so much on--

on so many different things. I've got to work.

I've got to focus. - I know.

Anytime I have to leave town for more than a night,

my mother will come in from the East Coast

and she'll stay with the kids.

She's going to help out in the house,

make sure PK eats, and I feel at peace

because I know my kids are in good hands.

All of them.

- Who are you going to dance with, Bub, if I'm not there?

- Well, Lisa Rinna's

the only other one not bringing a husband.

- So you've got Lisa Rinna as your date.

- Exactly, that's what I told her.

- You'll have fun, you two.

- [chuckles]

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- Okay, guys, follow me. - Okay.

- Don't mind my dogs following us everywhere.

Just stay on the path, girls. Stay on the path.

Come on, River.

Would you like to pick some basil on your way through here?

- Oh, sure. - We bought a lot

of food for our camping trip.

- We need hot dogs, hamburgers, alcohol, sides.

- Okay, we could get donuts.

These cheese balls, do you remember these?

- So we have to now burn those calories off.

- I've never run around my backyard like this.

- Rinna, what's wrong with you? - I don't know.

- Our property here at the house

is approximately two acres.

- You do what you got to do, babe.

- Ow!

- If you run around the property nine times,

that's one mile.

Ugh, I'm sweating more than I should be for that, right?

- That got my heart rate up a little bit.

- I know. It feels good.

- Oh, I haven't been in your gym yet.

- Oh, you haven't? - It's fab.

- Now it's time to work off all those calories we ate.

- Okay. - Oh, my God.

Oh, I had pie for breakfast.

It's actually really good.

Mm, okay, this is a first for me.

- Pie? - I think, pie in the morning.

That was fun, actually. We had such a good time.

Think about it. - I know.

- I thought it was going to be miserable.

I thought we'd be cold. But it was fun.

- Some of those conversations were really making me laugh.

- Guys, what about this?

- A man has a better orgasm if you massage their prostate.

So I went up and massaged his prostate through his bumhole.

[laughter]

- Oh! - I'm sorry, I do not

want to stick my fingers in anyone's butt.

I just don't.

I'm kinky, I'll do things. I--I am.

But someone has to teach you how to do that sh--, okay?

That's not my thing.

You are not just going to be, like,

"I think I'm going to slip my finger up his ass!"

- She went from prostate to calling me a know-it-all.

I didn't say I know everything.

- You said "I know a lot." - I said I'm very direct.

- Did you say you're a know-it-all?

- No-- - I think she's a know-it-all.

- I don't even mind that she called me a know-it-all.

It was just the tone she did it.

- Yeah, you guys definitely have a thing.

- Yeah, there's, like, a little thing.

- You guys have a little--

I think it's called "oil and water."

- I don't think to myself,

"Oh, yeah, Teddi thinks she knows everything."

- Because most of the time I'm right, Rinna.

[laughter]

- Well, you know why she said the know-it-all thing.

- Why? - At the Boy George concert.

- Me and Vanderpump were good. - It doesn't matter.

Let me have a conversation with Kyle for two seconds.

- Yeah, and she was saying that, you know,

you had to butt your nose in or whatever.

Like, but you were being a friend.

- Well, it was just-- to me, it was obvious.

Because if I feel something, I'm going to say it.

And the second that I can't say what I'm feeling,

I don't want to be friends with those people.

- Camille invited me to her wedding.

I'm going to assume her and I are fine,

because I wouldn't invite anybody

to my wedding that I didn't like.

If you can't, like, speak your mind

and talk to your friends and get through things, then--

- What is the point? - What is the actual point?

I can't be walking on eggshells around everybody,

agreeing with everybody. - Well, you'll learn.

It takes time. - No, I probably won't.

- Well, yeah, you probably won't.

- She still is a know-it-all. "No, I won't do that."

- No, I won't.

[laughter]

- Coming up... - Mom, why are you crying?

- Because this is a big dance, and I feel bad

that I'm not going to be here to see you leave.

I'm sorry.

- I love you. - I love you too.

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- You're just taking a carry-on?

- Yeah, I'm going to take a carry-on because

I'm only there for a few days.

And it's Miami. It's, like, 85 degrees there.

So...

- All right, what do you need me to do?

- Um, you know what, I packed most of it.

Oh, wait, here's my pages for my scenes.

- Yeah, don't leave those.

- I love working as an actress.

Right now, I'm juggling different projects,

going out of town a lot.

Today, I am packing to go on location

for a TV show in Miami

that's really edgy and sexy and provocative.

As soon as I land, though, I have to go straight to set.

- Baby, how do you do this?

- Well, that's why I'm going to try and sleep on the plane.

- That's insane. - Lola is at her friend's.

I already called her and said good-bye to her.

- What do you need me to do? - Nothing, I got it.

- This is it? - I squeezed everything

in my tiny suitcase.

They dress me when I get there.

My favorite thing about acting and being on set

is people ask me, "Do you want coffee?

What can we get you for breakfast?"

Oh, wait, I almost forgot my charger.

My long charger. - That's--that's actually

my charger. - I know.

You let me borrow it. - I let you borrow it.

- At home, I get all the list of complaints.

Don't fight.

- She won't get out of my closet.

None of my stuff-- none of her stuff is in here.

- Yeah, because I need

something to wear. - Guys, stop fighting.

For me, being on set is a vacation.

[laughs]

- Here, I got it. - Thanks, honey.

I'm just going to say good-bye to Eloise.

- Let's say good-bye.

- Your mom. Your mom's leaving.

- Eloise, Mommy's going to see you in a few days, okay?

But Aaron's going to be here.

As a working mom, it's challenging, sometimes,

to balance everything and juggle the kids

and flying out of town, and it's hard.

There's a lot of guilt being a working parent.

Can I have a hug? I love you.

[bright music]

He's going to be here. He's not leaving, okay?

He's just taking Mommy to the airport.

- I'm just taking her to the airport.

- Okay? And then, he'll come back.

I have to give Aaron

a lot of credit for being so supportive.

He has a great relationship with the girls.

They know they can count on him.

Bye, honey, I love you.

And it eases my mind, and I know

they're all taken care of.

I love that you're taking me. - I want to see my wife off...

- I love that. - On her trip.

- I like when you say "my wife."

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- Pretty nice crew.

A-one, two, three, four, big dick energy.

Second group of boys. Big dick energy.

Here comes the queen of the-- one, two, three, four.

Boom, six, seven, kitty's like a python.

Tick--ticking like a time bomb.

- I've always wanted to headline my own tour.

I'm very proud I'm no longer performing

in the smallest of venues.

I'm not going to lie. I'm not going to sit here

and be shy and bullsh-- humble.

No, mother----er, I've been dreaming

this sh-- up since I was a baby.

- Five, six, seven, eight. So just keep it more, like,

"What's up, it's the first number, mother----ers!"

You know? - Yeah.

- The Globe Theatre holds about 900 people.

We've sold it out.

- You've got to really perform up, too.

Not just out. - Get my musical theatre on?

- Full-on.

- There's a lot of history here,

and a lot of great people, a lot of great energy

has passed through this theatre.

This is what it's all about.

This is when all the hard work pays off.

[yelps]

- Lasers! - I love it.

- Ugh, orgasm.

[hip-hop music]

♪ ♪

- Clyde, you know what was cool about the hair that we did

was that we wove in some yak hair in the front

so it made it fuller. - I was going to do--

- It's Los Angeles, Clyde. - Just a little more--I know.

I'm--I'm looking for a picture. - Okay, all right.

Show me you're--okay, okay. - Yeah.

- There's a pressure to LA that is unmatched.

You're performing in front of other performers.

I'm just saying. - I'm just saying.

- If there's a night-- - A little special, right.

- Am I nervous? Of course.

I prefer performing for strangers, honestly.

If there's a night, tonight's the ----ing night.

- [laughs]

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

[doorbell rings]

- Hi, Mami. - Hello.

How are you? I love you, too.

- Thank you, thanks for coming. - They're all here.

- Look who's here? - The girls!

- Hi. - Hi.

- You guys look so pretty. - Thank you.

- Are you excited? - I'm nervous.

My hands are sweating. - Why are you nervous?

- Because I'm just scared. - Because it's her first--

- With a guy. - Date-ish?

- Yeah. - We're not going to call it

a date, though. - Well, no, he asked me.

- I know, but this is your only date until you're 16, sorry.

I gave in and let Sami go to her first dance.

- If a guy asks me to go to the homecoming dance,

am I allowed to say yes?

- If you think it's the right person to go with.

- Thank you.

- To me, it's not a date. It's a dance.

There's a ----ing difference.

- What do you think I should do with my lips?

Should I leave it or go lighter?

- Well, actually, both dresses are black.

- I know, and then, I have this purple, sparkly one.

- Can I--should I get it, Sam? - It's pretty.

- Show it to her. - I--I approve.

- Is it super short and strapless?

- I don't know what the definition of "short" is.

- It's really, really, really pretty.

- In the olden days when I was growing up,

my mom did my own hair and make-up before a dance.

These girls in Beverly Hills, they have a glam squad.

It's very different.

Wardrobe. - I really like it.

- Oh, I like that. - Isn't it beautiful?

- I approved, yes. - She's, like, "I love it

as long as I don't eat any food."

- Hey, Sami, I have to get going

because I have to go to the airport.

- Okay. - I wish I could see you

in your dress.

- I don't even know if this is the dress.

It's, like-- - Well, let me see it on.

- Okay.

I've missed Lola presenting her science fair project.

You know, I've missed cheerleading things.

And that's one of the hardest things,

being a working parent.

Sometimes, you're going to miss these,

you know, beautiful moments in their life.

- I don't know if I should do this one or the black one.

- I like this! - Yes, that's the look.

This looks beautiful. - Thank you.

- I love it, and you're going to

wear it with sneakers, right?

Except for the pictures? - Yeah.

I can't really walk in these. My ankles are, like--

- I know, they're Christian Louboutin.

You got to figure it out.

- We should probably get going. - All right.

Will you walk me out? - Mm-hmm.

- Bye, girls. all: Bye!

- I think it looks really, really pretty.

- Thank you. - All right, be careful.

- Okay. - Have fun.

- Thank you. Mom, why are you crying?

It's only, like, three days. - No, but I know,

because this is a big dance and I feel bad

that I'm not going to be here to see you leave.

I'm sorry. - Can you send a picture?

- Yes, I'll send a picture of me and Kyle to you.

- There you go. - I love you.

- I love you too. - Have a safe flight.

- If you need anything, Sami,

just call me or text me, okay?

- Thank you. - He's going to be there

the whole time I'm gone. - Okay.

- Be careful, all right? Have fun.

- Love you. - Love you, too.

- Have fun. both: Bye.

- Here, do you want me to drive?

- Yeah.

I feel so bad that I'm not here.

- Well, you know what? Maybe, um--

you can text her just before you get on the flight.

- I know, but it's not the same.

These are the things with working that's hard.

I miss stuff, you know? - I know.

- [exhales]

[upbeat music]

- Okay, so we have one hour. I'm stepping out.

Glam is attacking.

- The (BLEEP) is going on, girl?

Macramé?

[laughter]

Basket macramé. I love it.

Hi! - Hi, guys.

- Come on in here. Everybody, the man of the hour.

They let you in here? - Well, yeah, but I knew a guy.

- Okay, babe.

Tonight is going to be good because not only

is the show great, but you're going to see,

like, the total compilation of everything

that Mikey and I have done together.

- Tonight's the full shebang. - Yeah, no, the real deal.

- Screen content, pyro, lights. You're going to be wowed.

- Man, that's cool. - It's really cool.

- The culmination of a decade. - I know.

- You know? Maybe Jack can take you guys

up to the VIP since you are the most important person there.

- Yeah, because without you, there ain't no show, baby.

There's always pressure when Tom is in the audience.

- Hi, honey.

- Putting the show on, it's an expensive project,

so I want Tom to see

where all the hard work and money have gone.

I love you, mwah. Will you take him?

- Yeah. - Is this your--

is this what you're going to-- - Yeah, I'm wearing this.

- It's really cool. - He likes this?

- He--he likes all this sh--.

Otherwise, he wouldn't put up with it.

See y'all in a minute.

The most satisfying part of this whole thing

is that your partner is your biggest cheerleader.

- Oh, my God, I'm so nervous. - I--yeah, yes.

I'm always nervous. You know that.

♪ ♪

- Coming up... - ♪ Like a painkiller ♪

[music stops]

- Oh, no. The music is gone.

- What should we do? Should we stop it?

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- So, Dorit, how was the camping trip?

Did you guys have fun? - We did, Mo.

I mean, we laughed and laughed.

Camille's saying that her first boyfriend--

- Yes. - She'd massage his prostate.

And she was using her fingers like this,

and giving the example, and going like this.

[laughter]

- You make it look like she was playing the piano upside down.

- Well, she kind of did. She was, like--

[imitates piano]

PK apologized to me after Boy George's concert.

I got a text from PK last night.

- What? - Good.

- Hold on, what kind? - What'd he say?

- Basically, you know that that was, like, me joking around,

and you need to drop it now.

I knew that he felt bad.

It just took him a little bit of time.

So I'm over it now. We're good.

[upbeat music]

- Is this it? - Oh, honey.

You're going to be really impressed seeing Erika.

- Good, I'm excited. - I mean, I'm excited for her.

- I know. - It's, like, so exciting.

- Hi, guys. - Welcome to the club.

- Thank you.

I've seen Erika twice now.

- ♪ I'm a princess, I'm a princess ♪

♪ My kitty's like a python ♪

♪ Tick-ticking like a time bomb ♪

- But now, I'm going with my husband,

who has never seen Erika perform.

And I bragged about her to him.

Like, you know, hello, my friend's a rock star.

- This is awesome.

- I'll have a vodka on the rocks

with a splash of Red Bull. Sugar-free Red Bull.

- Can I have a margarita on the rocks, no salt?

There she is! - Hello, sexy lady.

- Hello. - How's it going?

- How are you? Mwah.

This looks packed. - How fun, right?

It's packed.

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- I'm going to miss you, baby.

- When do I get to see you again?

- Are you going to be able to go four days without sex?

- Yeah, I'm going to have to, right?

- [laughs]

- You can jerk off while we have phone sex.

- Oh, thank you. That sounds--

- It's better than nothing.

I'm a very giving, generous wife.

- Yes, you are. That is for sure.

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- Honey, she is packed out there.

- Yeah? - How much longer do you need?

- No minutes. - Like, ten--five--

mm, five minutes. - Ten, five, no, got it.

♪ ♪

- Oh, hi.

[all yelling]

Look at you! - I didn't recognize you!

- I love your hair like that!

- It took me a second! - Oh, I love it like that.

Look at all the-- - Lisa!

- My traditional look is so iconic.

- Lisa, you've had the same hairdo for 20 years,

and you're basing it on my look?

- Rinna, have you had the same hairdo for 20 years?

- Yes, I have, and (BLEEP) you!

- I didn't even recognize her with the new hair.

- Crazy, right? - How are you?

- This is so weird. - Yeah, you're all right?

- My goal is before I die to have another hairdo,

so I'm working on it.

I'd love to take a little hair risk, ladies.

- Okay, look up. - And I never do this.

- But I mean, you kind of can't beat this.

Like, who looks better than I do in this hair?

Don't I look so weird?

Right?

- He's the worst photographer in the world.

He's the worst. - I honestly don't know if he

can ----ing get it right. - All right, I got it.

They're a little blurry. - Oh, babe.

You're the worst photographer ever.

- Oh, my God!

[upbeat music]

- Erika Jayne!

♪ ♪

- So all her quick changes

are over here on this side, right?

Right there, okay. - We love you, Erika!

- I don't want that to happen.

- Go in your quick change.

[cheers and applause]

- When the lights go off and the music starts,

I get, like, really turned on.

It's, like, I salivate.

- Yes, Erika!

["XXPEN$IVE" by Erika Jayne]

♪ ♪

[cheers and applause]

- ♪ My kitty's like a python, tick-ticking like a time bomb ♪

♪ Limited edition, got to buy it with no try on ♪

♪ I purr just like a lion, knock 'em out like Tyson ♪

♪ Everybody knows that I'm a million dollar diamond ♪

♪ It's expensive to be me ♪

♪ Looking this good don't come for free ♪

♪ Uh, bitch, what ♪

♪ That's just who I be, it's expensive to be me ♪

[cheers and applause]

[upbeat music]

- I'm so proud of Erika,

and she's gotten so much bigger.

I love to see her come out, dressed the way she wants to,

perform in front of hundreds of people

that are freaking out and screaming.

Like, Erika Jayne is a rock star.

- See, the guys are tall, babe.

Edwin wants an audition to be a background dancer.

And I said, I'm sorry, babe, you're not tall enough.

When he was younger, like, a teenager,

Edwin was a background dancer, like, at different clubs.

[cheers and applause]

- Now that sh--, I can definitely not do.

- He's got some moves. I mean, I don't know

how good they are, but they won me over.

- ♪ Like a painkiller ♪

- [screams]

["PAINKILLR" by Erika Jayne]

- ♪ Like a painkiller ♪

♪ Like a painkiller ♪

[music stops]

[tense music]

- Oh, no. - What happened?

- The music is gone. - (BLEEP).

- Should we stop it? What should we do?

- She is pissed.

- There's no music on that side of the stage!

- They ----ed up the sound. It's so horrible.

♪ ♪

["PAINKILLR" by Erika Jayne]

- ♪ Like a painkiller ♪

[music stops]

[tense music]

- Oh, no. - Should we stop it?

So what should we do? - She is pissed.

- There's no music on that side of the stage!

- They ----ed up the sound. It's so horrible.

- I know.

♪ ♪

[cheers and applause]

- You're live. Sh-- happens.

The thing is, you can't point attention to it.

You can't be, like, "Oh, my God, I just ----ed up!"

You just keep on going.

[cheers and applause]

- ♪ I wanna get crazy ♪

♪ Let's just get crazy ♪

♪ Let's just get crazy ♪

Thank God!

- That's showbiz, baby.

- Yes, Erika, you got this!

- ♪ Ooh, baby, baby ♪

♪ I wanna get crazy, I wanna get crazy ♪

♪ Let's just get crazy ♪

[cheers and applause]

- Erika!

[dance music]

- Oh, my God.

- Thank you, LA!

Thank you so much, and I love you all.

Thank you for supporting me. Thank you and good night.

[cheers and applause]

♪ ♪

[upbeat music]

- Honey, we blew the power at the Globe.

- Was it okay? - It was incredible.

People were freaking. - It was so good.

- I've never seen LA freak out like that.

- From LA, the jaded city? Come on.

- That's what I thought too. - Ugh, that wasn't jaded.

- Hi, honey.

Did you like the show, babes?

[laughter]

Aw. - Oh, God.

[laughs]

- Did you enjoy it? - It was unbelievable.

- It was really fun, wasn't it? - Really fun.

- All I really need

is for Mr. Girardi to think that it was good.

I love you. Thanks, babes.

- Hey, girl.

- He's been with me since I came home

and I told him in the kitchen table

"I think I want to start performing again."

So thank you, Tom.

I mean, this really is because of him.

- I was really proud of you. - Were you?

Thank you. - Yeah, that was cool.

- Thank you, I appreciate that. - Hello?

- Rinna! - LA!

[laughter]

[cheering]

- Well done, guys. - Thank you.

- Amazing, amazing, amazing. Respect, man.

[upbeat music]

- Oh, hey! Oh, it's been too long.

How are you? - Wasn't that fun?

- Wasn't that awesome?

I'm so proud of her. - So am I.

- She's so ----ing awesome. Look how far she's come, Tom.

- I know! - Erika!

[cheers and applause]

- Hi. - We're so proud of you.

- Thank you very much. - Bursting, bursting.

- I'm glad, I hope everybody had some fun.

[cheers and applause]

- That was my first time watching you.

It was amazing. - Thank you.

- You must be so proud. - I was beside myself.

- Oh, that's so cute.

- Well, we blew the power, blew up the place.

It was great. - You did.

- That's rock and roll.

♪ ♪

- Did you like the show? - It was amazing.

- I'm glad you liked it.

- Do you think Erika's going to notice if I take the red boot?

- Oh, my God!

- No, I already called the red boots.

- Shut up, Teddi.

There's no way she has bigger feet than me.

This is not ----ing normal. Are you ----ing kidding me?

- They're not going to go on, Kyle.

- Shut up, Teddi!

- [laughs]

- I can't breathe, Teddi. I'm dead.

- I'ma just ----ing take a seat.

- Let's sit down like "The Three Stooges."

- Like the three stooges we are.

- Might as well do that

before I ----ing try them on myself.

- I don't trust these three together.

- Let them be.

[dance music]

- Uh, no!

♪ ♪

- Where's my straddle?

- You got your straddle yesterday,

and it only lasted two minutes.

[laughter]

- No?

- I'm getting out of the way.

- Kyle and Mauricio are in love,

and if there's tequila involved,

that always, you know, adds an extra layer.

- Drink your margarita. - Oh, okay, hold on.

- [laughs]

- Okay, we're--okay.

- Did you get me one? - No.

I am ----ing bombed.

[cheers and applause]

- I'm all for it, my God. They got four kids.

Hump away.

- You said he only lasted two minutes?

- We put on music, and I'm, like, "Let's really go at it."

He lasted one song. - Okay, I want to know.

What is the song?

- It was "Party In The USA." - No, no!

So bad! - Whoo!

Let's just say that Harry Hamlin and I

are not doing it to Miley.

- I'm never going to be able to listen to that song again.

- Like, I like the dirty stuff.

Ginuwine, my "Pony," that's a good one.

Yeah, oh, yeah. That's my sh--.

I like that stuff.

[bright music]

[cheering]

- Yes, I saw some of your choreography!

I'm so proud of you. - I hope it was okay.

- It was so great, and I never saw

any of the costumes until stage.

So I was, like-- - I know.

- I love you, great job. - Thanks, babe.

- For real, seriously. - It's hot as (BLEEP) in here.

[exhales]

We're dead.

- Edwin thinks he's, like, ready

to audition to be on the Pretty Mess tour.

[tense music]

- I said-- - You know what, I was ready--

I was ready until I saw the back flip.

- We don't need extra people here.

- Wait, can you tumble?

- I can tumble, but I can't backflip.

I can do this.

- Oh, oh!

- Remember how I said that my husband

does everything he can to (BLEEP) with me?

That's it.

- I mean, if that's any indication

of what happens in the bedroom, I don't know.

- Sorry, you're wrong, he's right.

He can audition.

- [laughs]

- I pulled a hamstring.

- Coming up...

- You guys have been so close for so long, Lisa,

and you both have a special friendship--

- We don't. It's done.

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- Oh, you're feeling so much better.

Look at you, chasing him.

Back to being a little troublemaker, aren't you?

Sit up here nicely. You relax.

We don't want you out of breath.

[exhales]

[phone rings]

Say hello to Camille. Say hello.

- Hello? - Hi, Camille.

- Hi, Lisa. - How are you?

- Good, I missed you. - Aw, I missed you, too.

- I'm in Beverly Hills doing some last minute shopping.

Picking up some stuff for the wedding.

- I'm at home. You don't want to stop by

and have a cup of tea, do you? - I would love to.

Lisa Vanderpump should have

reached out to me, or at least text me

that she wasn't going to show up at my bridal shower.

I was disappointed that she wasn't there.

- I would love to see you. - Okay, I look forward to it.

It's easier for me to keep the peace

than get into it with Lisa.

I'm getting married. I want to focus on my wedding

and the next phase of my life and new beginnings.

And not arguing.

- All right, darling. - See you soon, okay.

- All right, bye-bye. She's coming by.

Hey, I have to make some tea.

- [barks]

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- I haven't seen your hair straight like that.

Did you cut it more? - Well, yeah.

We cut a little bit off because I got

my roots done the other day. - Mom--

- It looks really good. - Doesn't her hair

look cute parted?

- It looks really good. - Thanks, guys.

- Hi.

- Hi. - How are you?

- Welcome to The Beauty Nail Bar.

How may we help you?

- I need a manicure and a pedicure,

and then, two manicures.

- Now, I'm going back to pretending it's not fall,

since we're going to Hawaii.

- I know, I'm already in fall mode.

But I have to wear a navy dress, let's not forget.

When Camille asked me to be a bridesmaid,

it was very unexpected.

- Thank you for being there for me,

and I wanted to ask you to be one of my bridesmaids.

- Oh, I would love to be.

When you look at our history, I've gone from,

"You're such a ----ing liar, Camille."

You're such a ----ing liar, Camille.

To "Sure, I'll be your bridesmaid."

[bright music]

- You and Portia pick your favorite fun colors.

You can give one to Portie, too.

- Portia. - Hey, so my dress,

by the way, you're not going to believe this.

- What? - It hasn't arrived.

I ordered it late, I'm admitting that.

And when I told Camille, she went--

She goes, "They take a long time."

And I was, like, "Oh, my God."

So I paid for rush, nothing. Still not here.

Tomorrow's the last opportunity for it to arrive.

Let's keep in mind how tall I am.

I have to have everything altered.

I will cut the bottom off. I've done this before.

You know what, I don't have time.

We're running out of time and Erika's going to be here,

and I don't want to make her wait.

Whatever. - That's your scissors?

- I don't have another scissors.

Oh, now it looks like someone ate them.

- There's, like, nine outfits that are needed

for this situation. - Nine?

I haven't gone through the schedule.

What is it? - We have

a paddle boarding/ canoe competition.

- Excuse me?

I don't want to wear a bathing suit right now.

[tense music]

- It says "wear a bathing suit" on the email itinerary we got.

- Well, I'm tired of this abuse.

[laughter]

- And then, the next day, there's a breakfast, too.

- We're leaving in two days, and Teddi has

this itinerary down pat.

Maybe Camille's going to appreciate the fact

that Teddi actually is a know-it-all,

because she actually does know it all right now.

And then, the next day's a breakfast,

and then, we leave.

- And we don't get home till midnight.

- What, you don't get home until midnight?

- You really had to say that, didn't you?

- Mommy, you don't get home until midnight?

- But I'll be back in time-- so when you wake up

Monday morning, I'll be there,

and I'm taking you to school Monday morning.

- I know the guilt.

The mom guilt. - It's so bad.

Slate gets emotional. She'll cry.

- Like a girl, more like? - Like, yeah, yeah.

She's, like-- Cruz is like a crazy maniac.

He's, like--

[strained yell]

- [cries]

- I'm going to go, but I promise

I'll be here when you wake up.

- [cries]

- In my head, I'm, like, maybe Cruz is just doing that

because he can tell I'm working more.

- And then, he started getting--

- And he's, like, punishing me a little bit.

With my business, like, it's grown a huge amount,

which I'm thrilled about.

- How many clients now? 500?

- We have over 500, and, like, each month,

we've had our best month yet.

But, like, I know there's certain things

that need to change, so I met with this woman

to kind of be my partner.

Then all of a sudden, I just, like, had cold feet.

I'm, like, I don't know that I want

to give up half my company.

Working and being a wife and a mom,

it kind of all ties in together.

Sometimes, I mismanage.

The other day, I was putting them to bed,

and Slate looked at me straight in the eye,

and she said, "Mom, you're, like, rushing bedtime."

My kids always know.

- And I'm going to Hawaii when I'm supposed to be

handling everything in my store.

I'm closing. I'm going to close all of them.

- You are? - Yep.

And I'm going to have one, and then focus on online.

There's days that I feel that I have spread myself too thin.

You know, it's a lot.

Having four kids and a husband and a store.

I mean, my dogs alone are, like, a full-time job.

- Cruz is feeling it a little bit,

because as I've been making the decisions,

I can tell that I'm a little bit more preoccupied.

- Yeah, and then, they want the attention.

- And then, he's, like-- - Mommy?

- You may have noticed. Hey.

Do you want to know the thing about mommies?

What do we always say?

- You always come back. - Yeah.

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- Hello.

[bright music]

Hello?

Hello, Lisa? Anybody?

- Oh, you gorgeous thing. Look at you.

- Hey, puppy. - How are you?

- Hi, good. - Well, thanks for coming by

at such short notice. - Yeah, you're welcome.

I missed you a lot. - Have you brought things

to fatten me up? - Yes, I did.

- So what kind of friend are you?

[laughs]

Well, you're on the wedding diet.

You're not allowed to eat them. Sit down.

I've always had quite a good friendship with Camille.

Hi, I haven't seen you for ages, mwah.

Everything good? - Yeah, everything's fine.

- Hello. - Hello, darling.

Everything good? - Everything's great.

- How are you? - Hi, good.

- Well, thanks for coming by at such short notice.

- Oh, you're welcome.

- And now, to see her happy, it's great.

- Hi. - Hi.

Are you okay? - I am.

- Great ring. - I know, gorgeous ring.

He's got great taste.

- That's a good reason to marry him.

- [laughs]

Diamonds are in a best-- what is it?

Girl's best friend? - Well, I think diamonds

are better friends than your friends.

I'll take a diamond any day right now.

- Oh, you know how those girls can be.

- Yeah, they've been horrible, horrible.

I don't like shouting, and I don't

want to include you in that battle.

- I understand. - Not at all.

Whether it was Lisa, Teddi, anyone,

I thought the right thing to do

was to invite all of the ladies to my wedding.

When I'm going through anything with the ladies,

I always try to be the better person.

If you were to come to my wedding,

which you know I would love for you to be there,

I would want you to feel comfortable within the group.

- Who's the one that encouraged you to get married?

- I know, Lisa, so of course I want you there.

So, will you come?

[dramatic music]

[tense music]

- If you were to come to my wedding,

which you know I would love for you to be there,

I would want you to feel comfortable.

So will you come?

- I've always really cared about you, you know that?

And, um--I just-- I can't make the wedding.

♪ ♪

As much as I want to see Camille get married,

I'm not going to put myself in that situation

with them all against me.

Let the Real Bitches of Beverly Hills go on their own.

- I really want you there, but I understand.

Because I would hate for you to come to my wedding

feeling all this pressure from the ladies.

- Well, you could invite me and cancel everybody else.

- [laughs]

There you go.

I've been there, you know?

I've had to sit there and have people

call me delusional, liar.

- I will not ask you any more questions,

believe me, because you're paranoid and delusional.

- And maybe I have more strength than she has,

that she runs away from it.

I wish there was a way I can help make this better,

but I don't know how to. I care about you and Kyle.

Like, we've been around each other for a long time.

And there's some girls that I'm still getting used to,

that are still new to the group.

- You're upset with the girls? What do you mean?

- Like, Teddi and I had a little thing.

- Well, I could go on for hours about that.

- She had a little go at me on this trip we took.

- In this instance, it wasn't. - Sometimes, Teddi, I think you

insinuate yourself, and you're very brave,

but I don't--I agree.

- At least she just said I'm very brave.

- No, no, no. - Thank you for

your approval, Camille.

- It's too much. You can't say

that you know this and you know that

when you haven't been around

this group of ladies for that long.

You don't understand.

The dynamic is complex sometimes.

There's a lot of love between you and a lot of these girls,

especially Kyle.

- And they're all trying to make me feel

like I'm a terrible person.

A friendship is to maybe defend somebody

when they might be wrong and try and reason with them.

A friendship is to believe them when they say--

I mean, what am I supposed to do?

Take a lie detector test?

Is that what they want me to do?

I don't need that in my life.

- Kyle, from what I see, I see a sadness.

I do, I see a real sadness.

I think--I believe she really misses you.

- Well, she can be sad, you know?

I would be really sad if I gave up a really good friend.

I really would.

[tense music]

I've always really, you know, stepped to her side.

- I did see you support her over the years.

Even when Kyle and I were in it,

you were very supportive to Kyle.

- Well, that's what friends do.

- Kyle and I left on an uncomfortable note.

- I know. - She said, "Why would anybody

be interested in you without Kelsey there?"

Well, ow, that hurts. - She didn't mean it like that.

I think you misinterpreted it. I really do.

How she was when she came around here.

You know, when she said, "Well, I believe them,

"and I don't believe you're a good friend,

"and I believe you're more concerned

about your image than your friends."

I was just, like, she might as well

have hit me right in the face.

And I was just, like, okay, just get out.

But I actually meant, also, get out of my life.

- Lisa's never been a victim.

She doesn't live her life like a victim.

But she's behaving like she is one.

It's sad to see.

- She has said, "Oh, you prey on the weak."

She's said, "Oh, you're manipulative."

How many things do I have to keep forgiving?

- You know, you guys have been so close

for so long, Lisa.

And you both have a special friendship.

And I've said this to the other girls.

I said, "There's a very special friendship"--

- We don't.

[cymbal shimmers]

It's done.

I think Kyle Richards just enjoyed

throwing me under the bus a little too much,

and unless she changed her position and apologized,

I've got no intention of seeing her again.

- Okay, I'm getting married.

I'm going to go and have a good time.

- I'll see you when you get back, love.

- Okay.

This is not the Lisa that I knew.

You know, the Lisa that I knew would show up.

So good to see you. - Thank you so much.

- Thank you for inviting me up to the house.

It really is so good to see you.

- Thank you so much. - It means a lot to me.

What she's doing, she's running from everybody.

It's almost like this immature girl hiding from the truth.

Lisa Vanderpump talks the talk,

but I want to see her walk the walk.

- I'm sorry. - I get it.

- I-- - Believe me, I understand.

I've been there. - I know.

- I know what it's like when you feel like...

it's not fair.

- Go, love. - Okay.

- When you go through something,

and you've kind of fallen apart.

And you try and put it back together,

and you're successful in doing so without that person...

Have an amazing time. - Thank you, thank you.

Bye. - Bye.

You kind of realize maybe you're better off without them.

She's so nice, isn't she?

[horns honking]

- We're going to be reading microscopic changes,

sweat, and blood as you answer yes or no questions.

[dramatic music]

This is going to be scored

as if it was a serious criminal test using federal guidelines.

If she's lying, I'm going to catch it in a second.

♪ ♪

- Now I'm scared. My stomach's turning.

What have you got me into? - I don't know.

I'm re-thinking this whole thing.

- Have you ever given a story to "Radar Online"?

- This is quite tight, this thing.

This blood pressure thing, isn't it?

- Next, on "The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills."

[upbeat music]

- Aloha. - Ah, we made it!

- Cheers. - Here's to--

should we make a toast to, uh--

who's getting married?

[laughter]

- Something seemed a little off with Mauricio.

- What am I going to do with the Umansky name?

Should we just have another kid?

Just a boy, just for the sake of it?

- Honey, are you kidding me?

- Do you have a thing for bad boys?

- Are you considered a bad boy? - Yeah.

Yeah, now we're talking.

- We have the opportunity to scale, like, now and big time.

- But do you think that this is at the expense of the kids?

- Well, baby, you can still--

- I want them to know that I'm always there.

- What am I supposed to be doing?

- Just walk. - It's been a long time

since I was a bridesmaid. Since I was in my 20s.

I'm going to get out there. I will hold her train.

I will help lift her veil. Whatever she wants.

- This is it. - It's official.

- To learn more about the housewives,

go to bravotv.com.