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subtitles by KaterinaMooo at gmail dot com
Mermaid
It happened a long time ago, before I was here
Mom said that at first, I was a little fishy that lived in her stomach,
and then she met dad, and I became a person
This is their first date
Dad was a sailor, always away at sea,
so far away,
that mom says that is why I've never seen him.
But I've always waited
And this is me - Alissa
The beginning. Alissa is 6 years, 3 months, and 8 days old.
Grandma, how old were you when grandpa died?
Twenty-five
Did you love you very much?
Very, he bought me ice cream every day,
and gave me gold, that your mother is hiding
Nice! Why didn't you ever get married again?
I kept thinking he might return
But, he died!
Maybe he still might return...
A ship?
No, mother's coming
I already explained it a hundred times to you-
one whistle for ship, two whistles for mother!
She never said anything
Mom, you didn't forget about Wednesday, did you? You got off, right?
Sure...
Mom, but seriously!
Uh-uh
You promised!
Mom, this is a once in a lifetime event!
Leave me alone, please
Did you ask to get off?
Of course I did!
Who's going to feed you,
if I ask for a day off for every one of your whims?
This is not a whim
What is it then?
Where did you even get the idea to become a ballerina?
We've never had any ballerinas in our family
I was a good dancer when I was young!
Then you'll take her on Wednesday!
No, I can't on Wednesday
Then, both of you, shut up!
Both sitting around here -
one - like a dressed up doll in her armchair
The other one wants to be a ballerina
I work like a mule all day for you,
and no one even says "thank you"!
I, by the way, am not a farm horse!
The top ballet trainer from Moscow is going to be there
A man?
Mom, ballet, and signs from fate
Alissa is 6 years, 5 months, and 23 days old
Come on, hurry up, we're going to be late!
We won't be late.
I can't just go there wearing whatever.
You are late.
What is your name, little girl?
Alissa
She's a good girl, but the audition is over, come tomorrow.
I work tomorrow.
I want to be a ballerina! I want to be a ballerina! I want to be a ballerina! I want to be a ballerina!
So, I didn't become a ballerina -
it just wasn't my fate.
Instead, my mom enrolled me in a chorus,
because it was close to the house
Hello!
Hello!
Hello, little one!
Hurry up, quickly!
How many times did I ask you not to go to the wharf?
How can you embarass me like that?
You promised me!
Mom, did dad come back?
Hello!
Hello!
Do you have a room for rent?
Yes, we do.
Let me help you with that.
Why stand here out in the wind? Let's go inside.
Here.
What a nice girl!
Come inside!
In here?
Chilly out today, no?
Dad, what are you doing here?
And, you, what are you doing here?
Waiting for you. A ship just arrived.
Are you a ballerina?
Yes
Beautiful
And you are my dad?
Well, yes
Beautiful
Traitor! I hope you croak!
Leave the armchair! Leave it!
Where should I take her? Where?
Mom, when is dad going to come back?
What dad, Alissa?
What damn dad?
We don't have any dad,
no one's going to come.
But, the diving bell is his, he's going to come back for it!
What damn diving bell?
What does it have anything to do with it?
Listen to me carefully -
your dad's not going to come -
I saw him once in my life!
He doesn't even know you were born,
your dad is a bastard!
Why are you torturing me?
Let me live!
Don't wait for him, he's not coming!
He's not coming!
Not coming!
When dad comes, I will tell him everything about you.
Not true, not true, not true, not true...
Citizens!
The path to the end of the world is very limiited!
The eclipse is expected in fifteen minutes, local time!
The moon should cover the sun at 11:30,
and it is possible that the end of the world will come.
Please remain calm!
Buy the tickets and the viewing devices at the cashier!
Please do not push, there will be enough space for everyone!
Pregnant women and those with high blood pressure
are requested to leave the square right now.
Famous fashion designer Paco Rabanne
officially announced that due to the end of the world,
he is ending his creative career, and leaving Paris.
This announcement was made at a fashion show during Milan fashion week.
Yeah, yeah, leave already
The end of the world. Alissa is 6 years, 8 months, and 11 days old.
Citizens, the end of the world is over!
Please clear the square! That's it!
Let's go, leave!
One, two, three, four, five...
That day,
when the eclipse came into our town,
it was very hot.
The sun shone very brightly.
I didn't wait for anyone anymore.
I counted to twenty,
and decided to become silent.
Forever.
Why don't you talk, little girl?
What did I tell you?
This is the second week it's like this.
From that very day, she's silent,
not a word out of her!
It will pass.
What date will it pass?
We need to sing in the chorus soon!
Eclipses of the sun happen very rarely,
and can affect people's behavior in strange ways like this
It's stress, it will dissolve and pass
But the stress didn't dissolve.
I continued to attend chorus classes because
the doctor said that creativity has the ability to heal.
In chorus, they didn't even notice my muteness,
and the teacher told my mom that I'm very successful.
Mom continued to be angry,
and I continued my silence.
[billboard reads: "We make your dream come true with a guarantee"]
Boys and girls,
we a have a new girl in the class, Alissa Titova.
She doesn't talk,
but she can already read and write.
Go ahead, sit at the second desk in the first row.
They put a tag on me,
and put me in a speacial school.
I don't think the eclipse caused any other cosmic effects in our town.
Big changes. Alissa is 17 years, 2 months, and 10 days old.
I was an A+ student in our school,
and also during those years I learned a trick:
to make wishes come true.
It's simple:
you just have to want it very much,
and it comes true.
One, two, three, four,
five!
Give me my gold back,
I might die any moment now!
Grandma is out of her mind a little bit,
she keeps hallucinating gold.
I am not hallucinating!
Give back my jewelry!
Let's go back into the house
Let's put off our frictions for another time, ok?
One, two, three, four...I want to leave,
five, six, seven, I want to leave...
eight, nine, ten, I want to leave...
The number of victims of the natural disaster continues to grow,
evidence of the situation is visible all along the shore,
the hurricane took away everything from these people:
homes, shelter, and most importantly loved ones,
some of whom have been missing for days now.
It's such an awful misfortune, it's impossible to handle!
Everything has been taken away from us,
we are suffering!
Where are we going to live?
We can't take it!
Who is to blame for this?
Who, someone tell me,
who is to blame for this?
Who is to blame for this?
I, Alissa Titova,
am to blame for this cataclysm.
I just really wanted to leave,
please forgive me.
I found it!
Of course, grandma has didn't understand
that she's putting her jewels on for the last time,
and when mom brought tickets for the train,
grandma had no clue where the money came from.
She just asked -
"Where are we going?"
Where?
When people don't have anywhere to go,
they go to Moscow.
Moscow. Alissa is 17 years, 6 months, and 3 days old.
There. It's almost like home.
[billboard reads: It's good to be home]
Moscow, as they say,
laid itself at my feet with all its power, beauty and unpredictability.
Gradually, life started to straighten itself out.
[Sign reads: Ballet lessons for all those who are interested. Everyone can dance!]
I found a job very quickly.
It turns out that in Moscow,
it's very easy to find an interesting job where you don't have to speak at all.
In every great biography, there is a period of working
as a waitress at a bar, or as a packer at a loading dock.
It's a temporary sort of stage in the forming of anyone's character.
For me, that stage,
it seems, has been prolonged a little bit.
Overall, there weren't any problems with work.
And everything was really great for my mom too.
Mom got a job at big supermarket,
which, for her, was an extraordinary career jump.
God, what fresh dill?
This is the dairy department, they ship straight from the factory.
Confections from all fifteen producers can only be found here.
We should bring grandma here.
Look at all that.
We have an in-house bakery,
we bake fresh croissants every day.
Alissa, don't slouch and don't drag your feet
- and to think you wanted to be a ballerina!
Why don't you at least put some make up on,
you're so colorless!
You are a girl, after all.
This is the meat deparment.
And the butcher, with the highest credentials.
Hi!
Hi!
Your girl?
Mine
What's your name?
Wanted: Housekeeper
You are late, come tomorrow between nine and one.
Guidebook for applicants
Mom found me a fantastic job.
It's great that I won't have to wash floors or lick glue anymore.
A decent job.
Not a dusty one.
The only thing is there's a breeze from below,
and you can't read.
Besides that, it's pretty cool...
... to observe life from inside of a telephone.
Friends. Alissa is 17 years, 9 months, and 14 days old.
Hey, phone! Where'd you buy your sneakers?
Got a smoke?
Got it. My deceased husband didn't spoke either.
And, what, he died?
Nah, I left him.
Listen, phone,
get out of my view!
Did you know that if a pregnant woman
looks at a picture of a beautiful woman,
the girl will look like her?
Why do you think I'm so beautiful?
My mom, while pregnant,
always looked at a picture of Madonna.
That's why I'm so beautiful!
Even though it didn't work out getting a job inside this building,
I got a sudden strong urge to study.
Two exams, both written.
It would be silly not try it out.
[a list of names]
The exams didn't turn out to be difficult at all,
but for some reason,
I didn't find my name in the list of those admitted.
Yeah, they're going so-so for me too.
Why are so down?
You didn't pass?
Don't sweat it, university's for retards.
Exactly. For people like me.
Girls don't have to go to school.
Women are nymphs, they were created for another purpose.
One, two, three, f-
To hell with studying,
let's go have a beer.
One, two, three, four...I want to study.
Why are you so quiet?
...five, six, seven, eight... I want study, I want to study...
My name's Igor, what yours?
Hello?
I want to study, I want to study...Nine, ten...
Did you fall asleep?
Alissa Titova, here's the deal:
one of our admitted applicants got hit by a car,
and by your score, you are the next in line for this spot,
do you understand?
I need to find out what hospital he's in.
He died.
We congradulate you, Alissa Titova,
you've been admitted to our university.
Winner takes all
I know what happened.
You are lucky.
Not true, not true,
it's not me...
Towards your wishes
Everything is in your hands.
The motor of your dreams
Progress depends on you.
Bravo
Your choice
Not true, not true, not true...
Don't fear your wishes
That's it.
No more wishes.
[Billboard reads: All the shades of your dreams]
You're definitely crazy.
Well, what can I tell you about cyber sex,
as someone who's engaged in it numerous times?
Cyber sex can never, in any way,
serve as a subsitute for regular sex,
because they have different levels of feeling.
It can't substitute the feeling of
hearing the moans of the girl you're pleasuring,
of feeling her nipples grow and harden,
of how she trembles...
Why talk about it?
After this, better to have real sex,
especially while the mood is lifted, and not just the mood.
Listen, I don't have time to feign a romantic idiot.
I could've asked you out,
then taken you to the most expensive restaurant,
given you presents on all holidays,
met your parents,
given them the impression of an educated, good boy,
and then after all that,
when they would go on a business trip,
you'd invite me over,
so we could finally fuck like normal people.
Why waste time we don't even have?
Let's get down to business.
What's your opinion on blowjobs?
Mine's a positive one.
Mom, look, dad came back!
Alissa, why are you sitting on the rocks again?
How many times do I have to tell you?
Pull up your pants at once!
Do you hear me?
Alissa?
Why don't you respond?
Alissa? Alissa?
Good morning, my girl!
Adult life. Alissa is 18 years, 0 months, 0 days old.
My first birthday in Moscow.
On a day like this,
you always expect something special to happen.
[Ballet lessons for all those who are interested]
A different life.
Great!
Reach up, stand gracefully and up straight!
And one, two, three, four...
And lower your arms, keep your back straight,
And one, two, one, two...
Pirouets...One, two, three...
Now jumps, one, two, three...Keep your arms up...
Happy Birthday, Alissa!
I don't really like soccer,
I like ballet more
But so it happened that
that day our team lost again,
to the Japanese, I think
Or was it the Chinese?
I don't remember anymore
The disorder began when the Russian team lost a goal to the Japanese team,
the fans attacked the riot police on the street.
The fans moved through the Tverskaya and Dmitreevskaya streets to the Teversaya square.
On the way, the broke house and store windows.
The police took no action against the vandalism.
Are you sick of life?
Go somewhere closer to the crowd!
You're gonna get a bottle thrown...
Hello? Hi mommy, it's me.
Sorry I didn't call earlier, but I'm at a friend's house,
we're writing a paper that's due tomorrow.
So, I'm going to stay over, ok?
I have to go, I have a lot of work to do.
Don't worry. Yes, I ate.
Go to sleep, I'll call you tomorrow.
Are you gonna keep being silent?
Come over here.
Closer, child.
Lean over here.
Did you drink?
What a good girl.
Passport.
Give me your passport.
Now, listen up:
obviously, you don't get any pay for today,
and next month you're going to work off the cost of the costume.
Thankfully, there's enough work for now.
I'm going to keep your passpport for now
Want your passport? Bring 1,000 rubels.
No? Then bye-bye.
Got that?
They ripped it, forgot it?
Dare say anything more to me!
You skinned goat!
Son of a bitch!
bastard!
stinking dickhead!
foul shit!
shitty can of beef!
test-tube spawn!
It's not fair, not fair!
It was an uncontrollable situation,
it was even on TV!
I was just a bystander,
not even bothering anyone!
Goat!
I don't even like soccer.
Hey, phone!
Didn't start smoking yet?
I recognized you by your feet.
Can't sleep?
Me neither.
Are you always so quiet?
Wanna have some fun?
My doctor told me that pregant women
should often spend time in places that smell nice
because the sense of smell develops at seven weeks.
Goat!
Get out.
No one asked you!
Dick!
Puss filled vampire!
Come on, come on, kiss my mommy!
Get out of here immediately!
What did I say?
You get out of here, you dwarf!
Don't you know how to talk to a girl?
[Everyone is thrilled by you]
I'll show you, I'm gonna drag you through court!
How dare you raise a hand to a pregnant woman!
There's the birthday girl!
Come over here!
Alissa, did you bring me ice cream?
Alissa, my daughter, happy birthday!
As they say, life is such a strange thing...
I wish you happiness, health...
everything else we'll buy!
You'll grow into it!
What an item
Love. Alissa is 18 years, 0 months, and 1 day old.
I didn't wait for him,
he just fell on me in the most desparate moment.
He has such a big forehead.
No, he really is beautiful.
I wonder, what is his name?
Sasha.
Alissa.
It's great...
....to look at the world from inside a telephone.
Yes, it is.
Sometimes, I think that every phone has little person living inside.
Maybe in my next life, I will be one of them.
You think we live several times?
Of course.
Awesome.
And what - they all fly around above us?
I can only imagine the crowding.
I hate crowds.
[ship reads: Everything's going to be ok]
Who are you?
Alissa
We jumped into the river together last night
Where?
The river, Moscow river.
First you , then I.
Great.
Now get out of here
My stuff is drying over there.
My dear, I need to go to work.
And I can clean up meanwhile.
Are you a housekeeper?
No, I'm a ballerina.
Then clean up.
What do you call it...
I love you
Where?
Where, what?
The fish, where is it?
I-
You touched my fish?
Yeah
Who do you think you are?
It's over there, in the bathtub.
Who allowed you to touch my fish?
Where did you even come from?
How could you touch my fish?
And you -
you put her in a jar,
it's cramped in there,
you can't even turn around in there, and the water is cloudy.
Could you live in water like that?
No plants, no stones, no seaweed...
The water is cold, unheated.
You think you put her in that jar, and that's it, it's enough.
The water needs to be heated, or she'll die.
And she also needs light.
In fact...
continuous darkness causes a prolonged state of stress.
Excellent.
So, my fish is depressed?
Yes, imagine that.
She has feelings too.
She's also afraid of the emptiness of a mirrored bottom.
What?
At least put some sand in there.
You're going to come two days a week, on Tuesdays and Fridays.
And don't touch my fish.
Do you have references?
Grandma could vouch for me.
That's not neccessary.
And you call yourself a housekeeper!
I'm a ballerina.
Is that enough?
Lock the door.
Hooray!
Hello, mom?
Yes?
It's me!
You dialed a wrong number,
can't hear you.
Hello, mom?
I'm hanging up.
Alexander Viktorovich, your clients are here.
New York was sold for three dollars in a completely legitamate deal.
Since 1980, the agency has sold over million properties on the moon,
and more than five hundred thousand on Mars and Venus.
In twenty years, we haven't had a single legal problem
The owners of moon properties are athletes, politicians,
as well as owners of banks, casinos, and restaurants.
Let's buy one for my mom too.
You made the right choice.
Today we are offering properties on the visible side of the moon,
near the sea of rain, a real beautiful spot,
with a great view of Archimede's crater.
Right in between Ronald Reagan's and Mike Tyson's properties.
I don't want to be next to Tyson.
Why? Are you planning to live there?
There are still some good lots left next to the Prince of Monaco.
Who's Monaco?
Russel Crowe isn't one of our clients yet,
but I think it's just a matter of time.
For now, I can offer you the following:
A decent lot next to the governor of Krasnodarskiy state,
and note that you will own the surface, as well as all of the valuable minerals
I said - you look disgusting.
Your mug is too pale.
Looks like you're going to die soon.
What?
She started talking?
I said you look bad.
And you don't have much spirit in your face.
What, you brought the money?
Give me my passport.
Give me my money
Give me the passport
The money.
Choke on it!
You skinned goat...
Hi.
I am a lunar girl.
Hi, I'm a lunar girl...
Hi, I'm a lunar girl
Hi....I'm a lunar girl
Hi, we are...
Yeah, I'm watching it right now.
This is what you call lunar girls?
I don't know where!
Kostya, I don't need a lot of them, I just need one.
One lunar girl.
Yes, ok, let's. Let's try kids.
Cow!
Mermaid. Alissa is 18 years, 2 months, and 13 days old.
[do not lean]
A different life. How to change yourself in four weeks.
One, two, three, four...
When I saw you for the first time,
I knew we'd be together that instant.
You were so miserable, all wet.
I wonder, what did you think when you saw me for the first time?
Who are you?
Alissa.
What's with your hair?
Dye.
Do you need money?
Not, not from you.
Why not from me?
For you, it's not hard for me to-
Either you work for money,
or you're not going to be here, got it?
Ok.
Actually, I'm a ballerina.
If you ask me, you're a fool.
I'm so sick of red, it makes me wanna throw up.
I don't ask much of you - just follow me around, and push the cart.
You're acting like a bitch.
You don't understand any other way.
Do you need me just so you can degrade me?
Who said I need you?
Oh, yeah?
Yeah.
In bed, you sing a different song.
In bed - nothing surprising about that.
What the fuck? I want beer.
Too many calories.
Only red, in case you still don't understand.
Can't stand you!
Ma! Where have you -
Did you wash the car?
I washed it yesterday.
What - am I supposed to wash it every single day?
You remind me of my ex mother-in-law, she also was a huge drama queen.
So, why'd you come?
No particular reason.
Mom, I think I fell in love.
That's bad.
Does he love you?
Yes.
Rita. Alissa is 18 years, 2 months, and 20 days old.
I always watch the news.
I like to be aware of current events.
Me too.
What did you play when you were a child?
All my childhood, I was in a chorus.
We played difficult cities.
How do you play that?
It's when cities have difficult names that no one can memorize,
but you know them.
For example, do you know the capital of Borneo?
Nah
Banjar Sri Begawan
Where is that?
In Malaysia.
Kuming Wan Jo,
or Guayaquil - that's somewhere in Ecuador.
Cool.
Why are you so green?
That's been out of style for a while.
I just wanted this one person to like me.
Well, did it work?
Put a spell on him,
everyone does that nowadays.
How?
Very simple, want me to teach you?
Take a cigarette,
write the name of your beloved on it,
smoke it.
That's it.
He'll be yours.
Let's do it together, I need to do it too.
Right now?
Why put it off?
Rita.
Alissa.
[she writes "Sasha", which is short for Alexandr]
[Alexandr]
Well? Let's make the wish.
Oh, I shouldn't.
And who should?
One cigarette shortens life by fifteen minutes.
Whose life, mine?
What do you think?
Oh, it's ok then.
The wish. Alissa is 18 years, 2 months, and 21 days old.
Ballerina
Alissa
What are you doing today?
Like usual.
Let's go have a coffee.
So quickly?
I always watch the news, like to be aware of the current events.
No smell at all
Have you noticed, that when people trip or fall,
for a moment they have such childish faces?
Probably because they stop lying.
What did you play when you were a child?
Execution by firing squad.
We played "make the corpse laugh"
How do you play that?
It's very simple.
One person pretends to be dead, and the other has to make them laugh.
Let's go.
Where?
Well,
come on,
come on,
smile!
Kolya, do you hear me?
It's a commercial, and you need to smile!
And if you won't smile, you won't be in it.
He'll do it!
Remember, do it just like in the cottage cheese commercial!
Take my boy, he'll do everything right!
Hold on a second, we have a deal!
So do we!
We are in an agency!
Us too!
In fact, they show our commercials on five channels!
I've never seen them once.
Too bad for you!
Smile! Look at those teeth!
What do teeth have to do with it?
Let's show Kolya how to smile.
I wanna go to the bathroom.
Kolya, dear Kolya, please smile!
Look at those teeth!
Your boy is too big for this!
He'll squat!
And mine will smile!
We've been waiting for him to smile for three hours already!
Alexandr, in my opinion, in our country, children should not be filmed
Hi.
Hi.
Why don't you want to smile?
I can't
Why not?
I am missing a tooth.
Alexandr, take a look.
She is quite the lunar girl
Maybe we should dye everyone's hair green?
No...
Volodya, project the lights!
You are lucky.
We should celebrate.
First date. Alissa is 18 years, 2 months, 21 days old.
So, it's all for sale?
No, just the visible half.
I don't understand -
how can you sell something that doesn't belong to you?
How can the moon belong to someone?
The earth doesn't belong to anyone either, but properties are sold.
You know what?
You can take for youself what doesn't belong to anyone.
It's a big city, my dear.
Here, everyone's survival is limited by their abilities and talents.
And it doesn't matter what you sell -
socks, underwear, or the moon -
as long as you sell it.
What do people need properties on the moon for?
So they have somewhere to escape.
And you, do you have a lot on the moon?
I don't need to escape anywhere, it's fucking great for me here.
Why?
Do you like everything here?
Well, I don't know, I haven't tried everything yet.
You know, I've never tried pineapple.
Really?
Only canned.
Should I be ashamed?
That doesn't count.
I know. And also -
I went to a school for kids with Down's syndrome,
and I never did ballet,
and never ate pineapple.
I am a nobody,
do you understand?
A nobody.
[We are together after[ all]
Everything is in your power
Do you have pineapples?
Out of them.
Do you have pineapples?
Only canned.
[truck reads: fruits and vegetables]
Maybe you shouldn't?
What corpse?
You told me about a corpse...
...the one you have to make laugh
It's a game. "Make the corpse laugh"
Want to play?
Ok, lie down.
You need to lie like a dead person no matter what I do, or you lose.
That's doesn't count
Ok, ok.
Now I'm dead.
Are you sure?
Don't ask me!
Ok, last try.
You lost, my turn!
Are you ok?
We're almost there, hold on, my girl.
I've been holding for thirty minutes already, maybe it's enough?
Do you give up?
What a bitch!
Stop the car!
The heart hurts.
If the heart is in pain, it means that there's a meteor approaching Earth.
It's a superstition.
You look good in it.
It's my dad's.
He won't panic because it's missing?
No, he is dead.
Do you miss him?
No.
Now I have you.
Do you want me to make a wish and everything will always go well for you?
How?
Simple.
I'll just wish and it will happen.
I can do it.
I hate that bitch.
One day, I'll make him eat that fish.
What have I come to?
I feel jealousy towards a man because of a fish.
What do you think of that?
He doesn't need anyone besides her.
I am nothing to him.
I hate her.
He sits there and stares at her,
he could spend a whole evening that way.
And try and say anything to him about it!
He never offered to move in once,
even though we've been dating for a year!
He says he needs time,
I am going to grow old by the time he's ready.
Hey, do you know how to make fried potatoes?
Why?
The thing is his favorite dish is fried potatoes
- his mom used to make it for him.
So I said -
since him and I are serious -
- in short, I told him that I make fucking great fried potatoes.
Well then, make it!
I can't.
Do you understand?
You can kill someone with that.
Did the cigarette trick work for you?
Yes.
It worked for me too.
I have to go to work.
Rita, what are you doing here?
Traitor!
I hope you croak!
Goat!
Underdeveloped freak!
Filth!
Pig!
Broken condom!
That's enough, you tattered cat!
Puss filled lice egg!
Shameful loser!
Just look at youself!
I'm going to call the cops!
No, I will!
Don't touch the billboard! That's my chick!
Shut up, you bum!
What did you say? Come over here!
She's not a bum, you are!
Go take a walk!
No, you take a walk!
Look at yourself, you shameful drunk,
Traitors! I hope you croak!
freak, pig,
You're all like that!
filth!
I know how to make wishes come true.
Do you want me one come true for you?
I really can do it.
Just wish - what do you want?
I'd like a beer.
What about a serious wish?
Whiskey.
30 years Chivas.
I used to be with this diplomat,
he loved me so much, oh so much, to death.
He took me out to restaurants,
where I ate caviar -
- the black kind -
and washed it down with whiskey
Delicious.
Live in glamour!
Don't put it off until tomorrow
Find yourself a pair
Some beer
No, some vodka.
And two packs of condoms.
That's it?
It's so easy
And a chupa-chups
And what do you need the chupa-chups for?
For pleasure.
The lucky one!
Is it you?
I am not lucky.
I thought you were always silent.
Why are you green?
Dyed it.
Want some tea?
I didn't come for tea.
Now what?
Wait, stop!
I can't - just like that!
Have you completely lost your mind?
What are you doing?
Everything's gonna be ok. Alissa is 18 years, 2 months, and 22 days old.
Look, a plane flying like a bird.
I'm not talking to you.
No, I just want to know -
what is this girl in masquerade costumes?
She comes to your apartment,
opens the door with her own key,
comes into your bedroom -
or do you think this is all normal, too?
Let's not start this.
Start what?
I just want you to explain to me.
I already told you - I don't know who it is.
You just want me to leave you.
No.
You don't even notice that you upset me.
I don't upset you.
And yesterday?
I called you, you said "I'm busy", and hung up.
I called back, and you didn't pick up.
Because then, I wasn't talking to you.
If you don't want to talk to me, I don't want to talk to you.
I want to.
Then talk to me,
you never do!
Yes, I do.
No, you don't!
Yes I do!
No -
Then what am I doing right now?
I'm standing here, talking to you.
That's it, I'm leaving.
Don't ruin my mood.
Hello, Rita, it's Alissa. Give me Sasha.
What do you mean "give"?
Come and take him.
He's not "Sasha" to you,
he's "Alexandr Viktorovich" [formal]
You're just a housekeeper, so call him by his full name!
He's not here, he left, to the airport.
Left to damn Volgograd.
Probably to see yet another broad.
To the airport?
Hello, Sasha?
This is Alissa.
Hi, ballerina.
Yes, it's me.
How are you?
Shitty. Nothing but problems this morning.
I'm happy that I'm leaving.
Leaving?
Yes, for three days.
I left you money on the coffee table.
Thank you.
Could you not go?
Why not?
Because you shouldn't.
It's imporant.
Maybe you won't go?
Why not?
You just won't go, that's all.
There's nothing more important than the huge contract that I need to make,
so there needs to be a very serious reason for me not to go.
There is a serious reason.
What is it?
My grandma died.
I'm sorry, I feel for you.
Sorry, I have a second line.
Yes, Alissa.
Grandmas die sooner or later - it happens
I'm bad at emphathy, just keep yourself together!
No, you don't understand.
Grandma died, and I am all alone with a corpse.
I'm scared, and that's why you absolutely have to come!
Alissa, what can I do?
Call your relatives, a doctor, an ambulance.
I can't come, I have a plane to catch in one hour.
Where are you, with the corpse?
At your house.
Fuck.
I came to clean today - it's Tuesday, my day -
and grandma came by, to walk me to the ballet studio.
She sat down to wait for me while I finish,
then she didn't feel well, then fell and died.
That's why you shouldn't fly, but come home -
do you understand?
It's very important.
I promise.
Fuck!
That's what I mean.
A red laptop is sleazy.
And a red car isn't. You liked it.
A red car is normal.
Why can't we choose something in a normal color for once in our life?
Because I like it this way.
And shut up, I'm tired of your grunts
Buckle up, and lock the door!
The door is locked
The light is on, your door is not locked.
Go and close it yourself!
Don't blame it on me if you fall out!
It's never your fault, it's always everyone else's!
Shut up, little boy!
You shut up! Better watch the road
Fuck you, you goat!
Fuck you bitch, I'm so sick of you!
You make me sick!
We now return to the most imporant news of the hour:
two planes collided at 11:30, Moscow time.
The plane from Moscow was heading for Volgograd with 43 people -
35 passengers and 8 crew members.
TU-134, heading to Moscow from Sochi, was carrying 46 people -
38 passengers, and 8 crew members.
In total, about 90 people dead - there were no survivors in this tragedy.
We just wanted to talk like normal people, but what happened -
Your girl?
Mine
My darling daughter
You look alike
Can you imagine -
you could've not been here now
We'd be watching you on TV
Enough!
Coincidence
It's fucking fate
What day of the week is it?
Saturday
She said it's Tuesday.
Who?
The girl who cleans my place,
she called, said today'sTuesday - her day
and that her grandma died,
she's there with the corpse.
I come home -
no corpse, no grandma
Wait, what grandma?
There's this girl who cleans my apartment -
What girl? From the agency?
No, from the sea.
You just let anyone off the street into your house?
Did you check her passport?
Address?
Phone?
What if something happens, where are you going to look for her?
Why look for her?
Tuesday and Friday are her days, she'll come.
What's wrong with you?
When she'll rob you, then you'll get it.
(just one phone call and you are not lonely anymore)
(my phone costs 1000 euros, but I don't be the one to call you first)
Follow your star
Beter things are possible!
(Why go crazy over this? It's not relevant. What for?)
(Everything's so stable. Our phones prevent us from acting)
(It's true that some things could use change.)
(It's such a silly game to change phone numbers in phone books.)
The future depends on you
You - are special!
(But for me it's important to go crazy, to kiss courageously,)
(we are so in love, phone calls should be forbidden between us)
This happens often in a megapolis.
In Moscow, 2,000 die on the road
It's normal -
just fate
No really,
this happens often...
...in a megapolis
Sasha!
Are you looking for someone?
Yes.
For who?
You.
I am looking for you.
I was so worried, I looked for you.
You should have called,
because I came home, turned the TV on,
and those news were on!
The moon is for everyone
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