All language subtitles for Melody.1971.1080p.BluRay

Halt!
Halt!

Left turn!

Right dress!

- Have you been drinking, Ornshaw?
- No, sir.

Have you been drinking whisky,
Ornshaw?

No, sir. Bron-bronchial balsam.
Cough syrup.

Smells like whisky to me, Ornshaw.

Bad cough, sir.

Look at this, Ornshaw.
This is what you call a clean uniform.

Sparkling lapel badge,

crisp-white haversack, highly buffed belt,
immaculate brasswork.

It's a credit to you, lad.
It must have taken you hours.

My mother did it, sir.

Ah, yes. We had your mother in
here yesterday telling us all about you.

Latimer, isn't it?

It's so nice to have a better class
of recruit in the ranks.

It's her idea.
I don't really know what I'm doing here.

Tell your mother
she's done a first-class job.

Danny! Danny!
Mummy's here! Ooo-ooo!

Hello!

- Would any of your friends like a lift?
- Oh, I wouldn't mind.

- Are you sure we're going your way?
- 'Course you are. Honest!

- All right for you, are we?
- Oh, yeah. Just on the corner'll do fine.

- Thank you!
- Bye!

Ta-ta!

Ta-ta!

Come on, darling.

- Thank you.
- Mm.

Mmm.

Come on, darling.

- Morning, Dad.
- Hm.

Neville, number 14's
got a "for sale" board up.

- What, love?
- Number 14.

What?

For sale.

Oh, not the woman
with the Pakistani lodger?

No, I don't think so. No.

A few more paint jobs
and we'll have a little King's Road.

Love, would you, please?
And that bit there.

It's in the way.

I was only thinking the other day, we've
got two architects living in the road.

Two accountants.
Three counting yourself, Neville.

- Then, of course, there's the two actors.
- A couple of pansies, they are.

We don't know that, Neville, do we?

I went to the BB this morning.

What, love? Good morning.

- The BB.
- Oh. How was it?

- Not bad.
- Good.

What does it stand for, BB?

- Boys'...
- Boys' Brigade. You know what BB is.

- Hm. Thought that had died out years ago.
- I quite...

Love, do you think it's a good thing
for him to be going to all these things?

Honestly, it gets quite comical
the things that you thrust on him.

Oh, Nev, it's important for him
to meet all sorts of people.

You know, I think I'll cook
something special for Wednesday.

Oh, by the way, I've invited,
er, Betty and George over for dinner.

- Really?
- Mm.

Might be quite nice.

It'll be nice for Daniel, too.

A nice grown-up dinner party.

Right.

It's about time he mixed with our friends.

What the hell are you doing?

- You could set me on fire!
- Daniel, how could you?!

Oh, Daniel!

Oh! How...

- Oh, how could you?
- Damn good job it wasn't the supplement.

Now, don't get hysterical, Neville.

Daniel, off to your room.

I'll brain him! It's you!

I'm sure it's you and your damn
stupid ideas... that bloody...!

You're not such a shining influence
on him yourself, you know.

Not a shining influence at all!

Any old rag!

Old rags and lumber!

Any old iron.

Give us a chance.
Hold on a minute...

Don't mix and match.
All right, in a minute. All right, shh.

What have you got, love?
Here we are.

Oh, can, can I have one of those, please?
A goldfish, please.

Sorry, love. Not for this.
See if you've got anything else at home, eh?

Quiet! Shut up for a minute.
I've got to get this stuff on the cart.

- You know he's a...
- Can't turn himself away from the pub...

Ah, that's more like it.

There we are.
A nice suntanned one for you.

- Can I have a goldfish, mister?
- No, no.

Danny, you really are terribly naughty.

What did you want to go
and do a thing like that...?

Darling, what's that supposed to be?

It's not quite finished yet. It still
needs quite a bit of work on the chest.

But, darling, you used to do nice pictures
of Grandma and the giraffe at the zoo.

Oh, and do you remember
that nice policeman you painted?

I've done all those things.
I want to try something new.

Darling, where on earth did you get this?

Oh, a boy gave it to me at school.

I wanted to paint a nude and
I didn't quite know what they looked like.

So, he gave me this.

Well, she's got a very nice face.

Oh, darling, did Daddy break your rocket?

Oh, dear.

- Never mind. Let's see if we can fix it.
- I'd rather do that, please.

No, no, no, darling.
You fix your rocket. Let Mummy have it.

Come on. Let me... Oh!
Oh, darling, your lovely...

Oh, never mind.

Now, you fix your rocket
and I'll do an early lunch,

and I'll come up and help you, all right?

Splash-down after lunch, then.

Melody, are you playing
that penny whistle?

Yes. And it's a recorder.

Anyway, Miss Fairfax
says I've got to practise.

I don't care. If you don't come
out of there, I shall bust myself.

All right.

Go down to the pub and ask your dad
for some money for ice cream

or else you won't get no sweets.

All right.

You lazy bum!

- Come on!
- Come on! Hurry up!

Come on. Come along.

Up.

Ugh.

The Jewish boys
may now leave for private study.

O'Leary, Ornshaw.

O'Leary, I trust you've informed the Holy
Father of your sudden change of faith.

As for you, Ornshaw, you may
have rushed to Matzos after my lesson.

And Jesus said take up Thy bed and walk.

And Jesus said take up Thy bed and walk.

Now, does anybody know the name of the man
Our Lord was referring to?

No?

Well, does anybody know which of
the disciples were with Jesus at the time?

Does anyone know who the disciples were?

Does anybody know who Jesus was?

Whoo-hoo!

Leonard!

Robert Sinclair, she fancies you!

I don't.

Oh, Peggy, come here!

Oh, no!

- Been out with your boyfriend, have you?
- Have one every night.

Do you kiss boys, Muriel?

'Course, if I like 'em enough.

Aren't you frightened?

Oh, why should I be frightened?
It's quite nice when you get used to it.

- Yeah, you'd know.
- Ooh!

How long do you kiss for, Muriel?

It depends how I feel.
Five minutes sometimes.

- Cool!
- World record!

You're lucky, Muriel.

How did you do it? You know,
the first time you ever kissed a boy?

Don't know, really.
I never used to kiss boys.

I always thought kissing 'em
would bring babies.

Cos they're boys, Muriel?

Can you spare me one?

Sorry.

Right, now today we're gonna cover WIC.

Wellington's Iberian Campaign.

To make things easier for you in the exams,

I am going to give you
a little memory maxim.

Saucy turtles make terrible bath mats, Charlie.

Quiet.

Saucy turtles
make terrible bath mats, Charlie.

Right, now, then.

The "S" stands for the landing at Serena.
"T", the Battle of Talavera.

"M", he advance to Madrid.
"T", the Lines of Torres Vedras.

"B", Battle of Buçaco.
"M", the French General Masséna.

And "C" is the Battle of Ciudad Rodrigo.

Yes, Ornshaw?

Sir, what was Wellington
doing in Spain in the first place?

Because Ornshaw he was. That's why.

I'm sorry, sir,
but I don't understand why.

Don't be impudent, Ornshaw.

I can't keep the brighter boys behind
just because of you laggers-back,

so put your hand down and keep quiet.

This is supposed to be a history lesson,
not 20 questions.

Right, now all of you take this down.

Roman numeral one.

Saucy turtles make terrible bath mats, Charlie.

Come on!

Up. Come on.

Do you think it'll work this time?

Bit more fuse and we're laughing.

- Hey, look. A bloody spy.
- Where?

There.

Go on, Curly, buzz off!

Hop it! Go on, hop it!

We don't want you here.
It's confidential.

Yes, it's confidential.

- Shove off, will ya?
- Oh, leave him alone. He's all right.

And let him learn my secrets?
Not likely.

No, you better not
let him learn your secrets.

Look, it's not bloody Cape Kennedy.

It's only an Ovaltine can
with a bit of weed killer in it.

It's not. I'll show you. Hold it.

Ah, you're barmy!
That'll never work!

It'll go out!

Take cover!

What a wet one!

I've got a banger
that goes better than that.

Well, last one on the bus is a queer.

Get out of here!

Going home?

You don't have to go home yet, do you?

Should really.

Don't see why, though.
It'd be nice to go somewhere.

I've got an hour.
We could go up west if you like.

It'll only take about an hour.
Oi, watch it! You're pushing!

We'll be there and back within an hour.

- OK.
- Come on.

Oh, I don't believe ya.

I Just give your best to your friends

- You got the time?
- Erm, ten past five.

Taxi!

You've gotta be joking.
You can't get a taxi.

It'll cost a fortune.
I've only got one and two.

Thanks, mate.

Keep the change.

Be seeing you, then.

I suppose you've seen the film
down at the Odeon.

What, the Cypriot one?

- No, the space one.
- No, I haven't seen it.

If you like, you can come to tea
and then we can go and see it.

No, I can't. I've gotta go home.

I reckon I can get the money
for both of us.

My uncle George came to tea last Sunday.

He always leaves me some money.

We could use that if you like.

No, I can't. I've gotta go. See ya!

It's dead easy, really.

I can easily get some more money.

Look, I don't want your bloody money!
Now, go on! Buzz off!

Look, it's not
that I don't wanna go with you.

Y-you see, I have to go home.

It's my granddad.

He goes mad if I don't get
his rotten sausages on the boil.

It's my granddad.

Can't anyone else do it? Your...

No.

Perhaps we can go another night.

I'm sure my mum would come round
and give you a hand.

No. She'd have a nightmare
if she saw our place.

She's always talking about people like...

She'd come round, I know,
and help with the washing-up

and put your granddad's sausages on.

No!

He'd have a heart attack
if your old lady came round.

- You think she would?
- I'm sure.

Yeah. he could do with a heart attack.
It'd do him good!

Girls, we have three ardent admirers
of the dance.

Maureen, Peggy, Muriel.

Come here, would you?

Right. Now, girls, perhaps you'll take
the gentlemen through their paces.

Miss Pocock, continue.

One two three, one two three, one two...

Arms up, please, gentlemen.
One two three.

Arms up, gentlemen, or Mr. Dicks will
have to hear about this little escapade.

Girls, don't... Grace.

Think of Isadora!

Boys, energy, energy.

Use your bodies.

Think of Nijinsky.

Free yourselves!

Use your bodies, girls.

Gracefully, gracefully.

- Wait! Rhoda!
- OK, I'll walk slowly.

- Here it is.
- Oh, wait. Wait.

- Make sure nobody's coming.
- I am! Ain't he lovely?

No one's watching.
Show us how you kiss him.

- Oh, go on.
- Go on! Quick!

Go on!

Isn't he lovely?

I think he's got a lovely face.

Shh! Someone's watching us.

- He's a coward! Let's go.
- Oh, wait!

Come on, Muriel.

Stupid cat.

Mum, you did promise.

And his grandfather's a very old man.
You did say you would.

Oh, I know I promised, darling,

but they've called this emergency meeting
at the Women's Institute.

I can't let them down now, can I?

You do understand, darling, don't you, hm?

Mm.

Perhaps another day, sweetie, yeah?

Oh! Kiss Mummy goodbye. Come on.

Mmm.

Now, don't watch too much television

and wash that cup up for me,
sweetie, will you?

She couldn't come.

She had to go to a stupid old meeting.

It was rather urgent, though.

But I've come instead.

So I'll help you put the...
Granddad's dinner on.

And do the washing-up.
Anything you like.

Mornin'.

Here ya are.

I will not start assembly
until I have quiet.

Quiet!

We will now sing hymn number...

...65 in your hymn books.

- You know the other day...
- I know.

He got one pea and shot it
in the back of my neck.

It went down my back.

You know that one
when he went shooting right past me.

Knocked me flying.

I was...

Rhoda.

Good luck.

Daniel, run this note over to Mr. Dicks
for me, would you, please?

I mean, really!

Hm, this is the first time I've ever
made this, Betty. How do you like it?

Oh, it's beautiful!

So, I said, "If he's ready
for a partnership, well, so am I."

Well, he can't be more than 28, 29, can he?

No. I remember when he was Daniel's age.
Do you know...?

I mean, it's absolutely amazing
the things one hears doing social welfare.

Well, eat your lasagne, darling. Come on.

- How are you getting on at school?
- Oh, wonderfully.

Come on. Eat up, eat up.

I mean, for instance, there's
this Mrs. Murphy I visit every Thursday.

Just two rooms in Packington Street.

- Yes?
- I want some bread.

Eight children and she's not yet 30!

- Not crispbread. I don't like crispbread.
- I don't know how you do it.

- Really?
- Oh! What do you say to her?

I want white bread.

I know he's related,
but you can't say I haven't stuck to it.

Oh, but have you stuck to it...?

- They're so oblivious to it all.
- To the squalor?

Look, he doesn't like
brown crispbread, either.

- To the squalor, to the birth control.
- He hasn't eaten his.

She thinks all she has to do
is ask God for help.

And her troubles will go with praying.

Just by putting her hands together.

It's not just the hands
she should put together.

Oh, Neville!
Neville, not in front of Daniel, darling.

- All right, love?
- Yes, thanks. Excuse me.

Oh, dar-ling! Well, fetch a cloth, sweetheart.
Quickly. Come along.

- I'm sorry.
- That's how it goes.

But it's not her fault, really.
It's her religion. It's that Pope again.

Can I have your plates, please?

His Holiness gets the credit
for every unexpected baby

that arrives between here and Camden Town.

Well, mop it up, darling.

They honestly think
family planning is done in heaven.

Come on, darling.

Oh, Daniel, darling, you haven't
finished your dinner. Never mind.

- Lovely dinner.
- Good.

Neville, if I put the car in,
do I get double relief?

I've always wanted
to use the Carrier Recipe Cards...

Yes... Wait till you see what's next.

- 'Darling, is that you?
- Yes, it's me.

'Although I can't see you,

'somehow something deep inside me
tells me that you're there.

'Darling, I'll always be there.

'You will, darling.
Promise you will.

'Of course I will.

'Although it's funny, lying here.

'It makes one think of...
well, all sorts of things.'

Did you remember to get your pink dress
from the cleaner's, love?

- No, I forgot.
- Oh, I don't know.

You'll forget your head
one of these days, you will, really.

The man made me forget.

What man?

The man in the raincoat on the cemetery.

- On the cemetery?!
- On the cemetery?

I thought I told you not to go there.
What did he do?

- Nothing.
- What do you mean, nothing?

He, he didn't touch you, did he?

What do you mean?

Did he...?

Did he touch you?

No. Well, not really.

What do you mean?
Did he touch you or didn't he?

No, he didn't touch me.

But what did he do?
Did he show you anything?

What sort of thing?

His...

- Did he show you his legs?
- Oh, yes.

Oh, my God.

- I saw his legs, all right.
- Tell me what happened. I'll kill him.

Is he still there? Mum, tell Mr. Turnstall
to go to the police station.

- No, he's not there now.
- Where is he, then?

- He ran away.
- Ran away?

- The brick nearly hit him.
- Did you throw a brick?

Oh, no. The boy did.

The boy with the green ears and the
ginger moustache with a spear in his head.

Wearing frogman's flippers
with a machine gun.

This is no joke, my girl.
You put the fear of God into me.

It's a good job your father's not here.
You'd get a bloody good hiding.

You can go to your room.
You're getting a bit to lippy!

I should have had my mouth washed out with
soap and water if I told fibs like that.

Goodness knows I should!

He's not got green ears at all, Gran.

He's quite a nice boy, really.

Do you think I could sit next to you?

Well, I don't know.
My friend Maureen normally sits there.

Oh, lover boy!

Oi, go on! Move over!

Shut up!

I'm warning you, man.

- Do you want some?
- No.

- No?
- Iindistinct chatter]

A bad turnout.

It gets worse every month.

Hey, look at Swailscroft.
She thinks she knows it all.

Go on, Tom. Dance with her.

No, you won't get me out there, mate.

Come on, Ornshaw.

Sock it to me!

I don't know how he's got the nerve.
Look at him. A grown man.

I wish I had a camera, the nit!

Why doesn't he stick
to belting the life out of us all?

All this trendy rigmarole makes me sick.

Do you fancy an orange drink?
There's not many people round the counter now.

Yeah, well, there's not many people here,
is there? We'd be better off up west.

He'll be whacking us next,
singing "Hey Jude" at the same time!

You don't know where you stand.
Either they're headmasters or they're not.

Why are they trying to be our friends?
I don't want him to be my friend.

I've got to dance with her.

You're mad!
What do you wanna do that for?

She'll only say, "Buzz off" or something.
She's a bit stuck up, that one.

Now, all this girl nonsense is rubbish.

Girls are a load of
snotty-nosed little so-and-sos.

Look, if I dance with her,
will you dance with her friend?

Come off it! You gotta be joking!

Come on. Just this once.

Who's scared, then?

Look.
It looks as though she's wet herself.

Come on! Don't be scared!

- Go on.
- All right, all right. All right.

Ready?

My friend and I were wondering
if you would like...

Come on, do you wanna dance?

Would you like to dance?

Come on, do you wanna bloody dance?!

I don't think I want to dance with you.
You don't dance very well.

What do you mean I don't dance very well?

You dance stupid!

You big fat fool!

Let's see it work, then.

It's a load of rubbish!
It'll never work!

- Look at it!
- It's useless!

- Yeah, I know. A big bomb.
- Start the other one.

It'll never work, mate.

Ugh!
Ugh!

Lads, come on!

Melody, your tea's ready.

Blimey.

Hurry up, love.
Your kipper'll get cold.

I'm in the 440 yards.

I can't understand why.

Never ran more than 100 yards in my life.

I shouldn't have forged
old Jenkins' signature on my card.

Well, I'm in the 220. Wish I wasn't.

I'd rather be in the long jump.
Then no one can see you.

Make a fool of yourself in private.

Yeah, but that's not
what it's all about, is it?

You can't have people raving about winners
if there's no berks like you and me

running around making fools of ourselves,
coming last.

I mean, some people are winners
and some people are losers.

Who says who's gonna be what?

Well, don't ask me. That's all clone
before we get on this Earth.

I mean, it's Him up there.

He says, er, "You're gonna be red hot
at the triple jump,

"and you, you're gonna be bloody useless."

I mean, who landed me with her?

Oh...

Well... it's Him up there, innit?

Once He's got it in for you,
you're right up the pictures.

I don't know what you're worried about.
You haven't got it that bad.

Why haven't I?

Well, take, for instance, there's
your painting. You're good at that.

There's your model-making. You're good
at that. Your stamp-collecting.

Think of all the kids who'd like
to have a stamp collection like yours.

That's just the trouble.

I don't like stamps any more.

Don't worry. We'll have the last laugh
of this lot, and Him up there.

We'll jack this school lark in,
give old Dicks over there the old "V" sign

and shoot off and do whatever we wanna do.

You mark my words. It'll happen
before you can say, "Jack Robinson."

Right, open your Young Latin Scholar
Book One with the grey cover.

Page 27, the section I asked you to prepare.

"Around the Forum."

Right, Latimer,
read and translate, please.

Er...

Erm...

Come on, Latimer.
It is prepared homework.

Erm...

Huius est... civ-it-is

longe... ampliss... ima.

Amplissima, Latimer.

"Eee ma" not "eye ma".

Amplissima actoritas.

Not "asss", Latimer. "Ah-ss".

You should be able to pronounce that.

Right, Latimer. Translate, please.

Er...

Erm...

Come on, Latimer.
It should be prepared homework.

I'm afraid I haven't done it, sir.

Take two, Latimer. Bursary 3.30.

Translate, Ornshaw.

Right, sir, erm...

Got a bit of a cold, sir.

Erm...

Right. Er...

Er...

Erm...

Take two, Ornshaw.

Bursary 3.30.

Translate, Fensham.

The, erm...

All right, then.

Don't worry about it.

Stick with me, you'll be OK.

- Come on.
- No!

Venite.

Ornshaw and Latimer.

Come in, gentlemen.

Right, Romulus and Remus,
stand over there.

Stand up, Ornshaw, lad. Stand up.

And vacate your mouth.

Now, why are you here, Ornshaw?

Because you invited me, sir.

And why did I invite you, Ornshaw?

Because I couldn't translate
the Latin, sir.

Why, Ornshaw? Why?

Because it's a bloody silly
out-of-date language do you mean, sir?

Two was it, Ornshaw?

I think we make it four.

And why do you think it's a silly
out-of-date language, Ornshaw?

Because I couldn't speak to a dead Roman
even if I knew the bloody lingo, sir.

Now, do not vex me, Ornshaw.
Do not vex me, lad.

I think we make that
a nice round sex benissimo.

That's "six of the best" in Latin.

Game, set and match to me, I think.

Julius Caesar here is going to be
very displeased with you, Ornshaw.

Bend over, please.

Ooh!

Ow! Ooh!
Ow! Ooh!

All right, next one, please, Latimer.

Satchel off, boy.

Ah!

Going to orchestra practice?

You waiting for old Dicks, are you?

Well, you'll be late home.

Why don't you shoot off now?
There's no point in hanging around.

Is old Swailscroft
waiting for you, is she?

Well, she'll be gone now.
Why don't you pop along?

I don't know why you're hanging
around here. Honest, I don't.

I told you it'd be easy, didn't I?

Come on, Danny.
Don't let her see you cry.

I don't know what she's hanging
about for. Do you?

I told her to hop it, but she keeps
on hanging about. Tell her to buzz off.

Give us that.
He's a scream old Dicks, isn't he?

His little Julius Caesar!

You can buzz of now, love.

You know, ta-ta, toodle-oo.

I thought we'd go to the bomb site.

Old Dadds has got the most incredible
bomb you've ever seen in your life.

He's got a...

He's got a Coca-Cola bottle
and he soaked it in...

He got some socks
and soaked it in petrol.

And he got some phosphorus,
what he nicked from the lab. What...?

After that I thought we'd shoot down
the arcade. I've got millions of pennies.

Er, we could go
on the tank-firing range, or, or...

Or, erm, the fruit machines, Danny.
You like the fruit machines.

Or, erm... The football game.

You know you like having a go on that.

Erm, we could go to the Odeon and
see that picture we was talking about.

Or go to the zoo, museums, anywhere.

Danny!
Danny!

Danny!

Danny!

- May I have my bag, please?
- Yeah.

My friend Muriel, you know the big one.

Well, she says that you've been going
around telling people that you love me.

I don't mind it. It's just that,
well, people laugh at you, don't they?

And, well, if you have to tell someone,
why not tell me?

I'm always the last to know.

Nice here, isn't it?

Yeah.

My mum doesn't like me coming here,
but I'm not frightened, are you?

No.

That gravestone there...

"Here lies
my beloved and beautiful Ella Jane.

"Wife and lifelong friend.

"Thank you for 50 years of happiness.

"Laid to rest July 7th, 1893.

"Henry James McDevitt. Gone to join
his Ella Jane, September the 11th, 1893."

He only lasted two months after she died.

He must have loved her very much.

50 years' happiness.
How long's 50 years?

Erm... 150 school terms,
not including holidays.

Will you love me that long?

I don't think you will.

Of course. I've loved you
a whole week already, haven't I?

He's come to tea.

His name's Daniel.

Pleased to meet you, Daniel.

I suppose I've got enough tea.
I brought extra cos your dad's home.

He's out on bail.

I'll take your satchel for you.

Oh, thanks. Here.

Thank you.

Hello, Melody, love!

Mwah. How've ya been?

All right, thank you.

Who's this?
- A mate from school, aren't you, dear?

Aren't you coming in, then, love?

Come on. Up to the table.

He's not simple, is he?

No.

Hm.

Oh.

Nice bit of ham, Flo.

Not bad, is it?

Are you in
the, er, the Boy Scouts, Donald?

- Daniel.
- Er, Daniel?

- No, the BB.
- Ah.

I was in the Boy Scouts.
I was really.

Marvellous it was.

All those steaming-hot cups of cocoa.
Suet pudding.

Singsongs round the campfire.

Oh, cor, some of the things
we used to get up to. Oh, dear me.

When the new boy arrived we used
to mix some bootblack and toothpaste

and spread it all over...

Reg, do you mind? We're eating.

I always think ham
is nicest straight off the bone.

Always is.

- Go to the pictures much, do you, David?
- Daniel.

Daniel?

Er, yes. Quite a bit.

Hm. When I think of the pictures
I always remember my father.

When I used to ask him
for sixpence for the pictures,

he'd say, "There's pictures on the wall."

"I wanna see the moving pictures,"
I used to say.

"I'll make them bloody move,"
and threw his boot at the wall.

Oh, dear me.

My Ernie always used to say
that moving pictures ruins your eye sight.

Would you like some fish paste, Daniel?

"The continual flickering,"
he used to say,

"puts your eyeballs off centre."

That reminds me of my uncle Roger.

He was deaf ever since a bomb
hit Burwell Street during the war.

Recently, he read this ad in the paper
about redressing the balance of the ear,

so he tried it and it worked.

So, erm, he was overjoyed.

Oh, yeah.
He'd been deaf for 20 years.

Anyway, they had a bit of a celebration,
you know,

and he was opening a bottle of champagne,
the cork flew out, knocked his eye out.

Knocked his eye out.

Life can be very cruel like that.

Quiet. Quiet!

- Abrahams.
- Here.

- Boone.
- Here.

- Gates.
- Yes, miss.

- Gresham.
- Yes, miss.

- Hopgood.
- Miss.

- Ingledon.
- Yes, miss.

- Livingstone?
- Yeah.

Latimer.

Latimer? Daniel Latimer?

- Losey.
- Sir.

- Peters.
- Yes, miss.

Perkins.

Perkins? Not in today.

Rogers.

I I'm just a clown

I should be doing English
with Miss Fairfax by now.

- What should you be doing?
- Erm... dunno.

- Geography I think.
- I quite like geography.

So do I.

Melody?

- Yeah?
- Do you like new maths?

They're OK.

I think I like history best.

Eugh!

Well, sometimes I like it,
but mostly I hate it.

My dad doesn't like the seaside.

He says he gets the sand in his ears
or something.

Whenever we go to the seaside
Dad always stays at home.

In the pubs mostly.

We always travel together.

We don't get out
of the car, though, really.

They generally have a row on the way down.

And don't speak to each other
until we get back home.

Hey, Melody, look what I've got!

- That's good!
- See?

Shall we get married?

One day, perhaps.

Why does the water always seep away?

How old do you have to be, you reckon?

Perhaps if we put the stones in first,
then maybe it'll stay.

I don't know.
As old as our parents I suppose.

If we wait that long,
we might be old miseries.

Most old people I know are old miseries.

I honestly don't know. When you're older
you're supposed to know it all.

Perhaps that's what makes them so fed up.

I don't know.

I really don't know.

Oh! It's freezing!

I'm going in.

Come over here.

So, we've taken it upon ourselves

to move the summer holidays
forward a trifle, have we?

And where did you decide to go

whilst your colleagues
went about their daily scholastic duties?

Battersea Funfair.

That's always a favourite.

Battersea Funfair, was it?

The seaside, sir.

The seaside?

You do realise the enormity of this
fundamental breach of school discipline?

It's... it's not a minor of fence, Latimer,
and, er... Perkins.

Not a minor of fence.

If you're gallivanting off somewhere,
you can't be at school

and if you can't be at school,
we can't teach you.

And if we can't teach you,
you'll end up raving imbeciles

like the generation above you.

I don't encourage corporal punishment
in this school,

but there are occasions
when a lesson has to be taught.

However...

...you're both rather young.

One hesitates
to use extremely severe measures.

But for your own good try to see the error
of these immature pranks.

Think of your careers.

Think of life's rich tapestry
that lies before you.

Look, I understand.
I was young myself once.

Long time ago, of course.

But I realised eventually
what my priorities were.

- So do we, sir.
- So do you what?

Realise what our,
er... priorities are, sir.

Good for you, Latham.

Er... er, Latimer.

I see our little pow wow
has had some effect, eh?

Got your priorities right, have you?

Yes, sir. We want to get married.

Oh!

My word, you've got a lot to learn.

I've heard some funny things in my time.

I don't think it's very funny, sir.

- You don't think it's very funny?
- No, sir.

And, er, you, young lady?
Do you think it's very funny?

Not really, sir.

I assume you've already promised

your fair, freckled first-form hand
in marriage to this young gentleman?

I don't really know, sir.

I don't really understand
what it all means, sir.

You don't understand what it all means?

You don't understand what it all means?

You're treating us
as though we were stupid.

All we want to do is
to be with one another all the time.

And we thought that meant getting married!
Doesn't it?!

It's not meant to be funny!

Don't you understand?

Now, look here, young man.
I've been extremely patient with you.

I'm willing to overlook
your gross ignorance of the young lady.

God knows we've only ourselves
to blame for that.

But your impertinence
is getting a little out of hand.

The matter is finished.
Do you understand me? Finished!

Temper.

Burgess says is it too late to propose?

I suppose
you've got her mother's approval?

Hope she doesn't forget
to come to the wedding.

What do you think you're playing at,
you pair of hooligans?

Now, all of you get back to your places.
Go on. Sit down and keep quiet.

And open your Young Latin Primer
at page 24.

I'll talk to you later, Ornshaw.

It's a great pity you're
not more in love with your work, Latimer.

I'm sorry, Danny.

I didn't mean to.

You really like this little lad, do you?

You know, that's fine, you know.

We always look forward to you
bringing your boyfriends home.

And he, he seems a nice type of... lad.

That's just the trouble, though.
He's only a little lad.

And you're only a little girl.

"Our little sunshine" your mum calls you.

I know it's difficult to understand, love,

but people just don't get married
at your age.

They wait to see if they like one another
when they're older.

How old?

Well... in their 20s. Older sometimes.

But that's twice as old as I am now.

I know it is, love.

Only seemed like yesterday
I was seen changing your nappies.

I know, but we want to be together now.

Think of all the schooling
you've got to do yet, love.

And you like school, don't you?

I-I've got all your reports.
We often look at 'em, don't we, Mum?

I know, but I like being with Daniel
more than I like doing geography.

Sweetheart, there are lots of things
we haven't explained to you yet about...

...life and all sorts of things.

I know, but why is it so difficult
when all I want to do is be happy.

We want you to be happy, love.

Then why can't you help me
instead of keep putting things in my way?

I just don't understand it.

I just can't think why it's so terrible.

Please tell me cos I just don't understand.

Tell me, please.

Hm, oh!

Good morning, Mrs. Latimer.
What can I do for you this splendid morning?

Elope? What do you mean, elope?

Oh! I...

I'm sure you're quite wrong. I saw them
in class myself, scarcely ten minutes ago.

Well, of course I'm sure.

Look, if you like,
I'll pop down myself and make certain,

but I'm sure there's nothing to worry about.

Hello. Headmaster's secretary.
Can I help you?

Er... shouldn't you be taking 2C for English?

Well, I'm supposed to,
but they never turned up.

Never turned up?

They didn't come back after morning break.

Where are they?

Where are who?

The class, boy. The class.

They've gone to get married.

Where, boy? Where?

Under the arches,
down by the railway line.

Railway line.

And all the people were shouting,
"Just wait until Lenin gets here."

Right, children,
carry on reading till I get back.

"Upon the place beneath...

"It is twice blessed.

"It blesseth him that gives..."

Er, no, thank you.
I've had mine.

"'Tis the mightiest in..."

Oh, yes, of course.

Erm, oh, proceed with the lesson
until I return.

No, it's all right, Saunders.
I'll take over. You hold the fort.

What's going on?

- Where are they?
- Don't worry. Follow me.

Everything's under control.

- Headmaster, there he goes!
- Not now, madam.

- I'll go and cut off his retreat.
- Yes, yes. Follow him.

- He'll lead us to them.
- Where? Where?

Miss Dimkins, cover Dicks.

The rest of you, we'll comb that area.

Dearly beloved.

We are gathered here today
in the sight of God

to join together this man and woman
in holy matrimony.

Shut up!

Well, it's not funny. It's serious.

Wilt thou have this woman to be thy wedded
wife and live together...?

Will you?

- I will.
- Yeah, I thought you might.

Ah!

When Dicks flushes them out,

I'll cut off the left flank,
you bring up the rear.

- Yes, Headmaster.
- Where?

Wilt thou have this man to be thy wedded
husband and live together...

Will you?

I will.

Good. Right.

I now pronounce you man and...

Quick, get out! Dicks is coming!

Dicks!

Leave 'em alone, you horrible old man!

Danny!

Daniel! Daniel, your mother wants you!

Come on! Hurry up!

Hey up!
Hey up!

I've done it.

I'll get you, Ornshaw.

In there! Get in!

Oi! Use the trolley!
Come on! Hurry up!

And don't forget to change
at Clapham Junction.

Now, now, Ornshaw.
Control yourself.

Come on, Mr. Dicks.
Take it like a man.

Come back here, you fat git!