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1x10 'Praise be praise'
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00:00:06,400 --> 00:00:08,400
Transcript by Aimee
www.tusseries.com
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Synch by Aimee
www.tusseries.com
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00:00:22,000 --> 00:00:24,100
Here's the funny thing
about restaurants:
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00:00:24,200 --> 00:00:26,300
the way you eat
in the dinning room,
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00:00:26,400 --> 00:00:28,900
it isn't exactly the way
we eat in the kitchen.
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00:00:30,300 --> 00:00:31,800
Pretty gruesome, right?
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00:00:32,900 --> 00:00:35,900
These empobrished parannos
are commonly known as waiters.
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00:00:36,600 --> 00:00:39,300
And it is their priviledge
to eat my food for free
10
00:00:39,305 --> 00:00:41,100
so they can better
sell it to you.
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00:00:41,404 --> 00:00:43,001
And the garlic and
the ***
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00:00:43,005 --> 00:00:45,405
does things that garlic
has never done before.
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00:00:45,703 --> 00:00:47,102
It sounds delicious.
14
00:00:47,309 --> 00:00:49,101
And the spinach,
is that very creamy?
15
00:00:49,107 --> 00:00:51,602
I have no idea.
I wasn't fast enough.
16
00:00:51,707 --> 00:00:53,900
Now this is
a typical staff meal,
17
00:00:54,007 --> 00:00:56,900
which some might call cruel
and unusual punishment.
18
00:00:57,105 --> 00:00:59,401
But it is made with love.
19
00:00:59,405 --> 00:01:01,301
Chuncky, chuncky bits of love.
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00:01:01,405 --> 00:01:03,000
You're gonna have to help me
with the staff meal,
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00:01:03,007 --> 00:01:05,700
because I think they found out
which part of the cow we're serving.
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Good morning, chef!
23
00:01:07,206 --> 00:01:09,100
If they don't like it, they can
buy a jar of peanut butter.
24
00:01:09,407 --> 00:01:13,102
So chef, last night I practised my
tornedos d'agneau.
25
00:01:13,107 --> 00:01:15,700
That's your solution?
- Well, they can bring jelly from home.
26
00:01:15,806 --> 00:01:18,702
Which is primarly composed by,
you sure may know, lamb,
27
00:01:18,805 --> 00:01:23,002
c�tes d'agneau,
one onion finely chopped.
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00:01:23,707 --> 00:01:26,101
No, no, no, sliced,
finely sliced.
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Stupid, stupid.
30
00:01:29,108 --> 00:01:31,101
And we all crave love,
don't we?
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Yes, sliced.
32
00:01:32,906 --> 00:01:34,202
Love of approval.
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00:01:34,906 --> 00:01:36,301
That's the greatest hunger of all.
34
00:01:38,008 --> 00:01:39,702
Did Jack talk to you today?
35
00:01:40,507 --> 00:01:42,003
He talked near me.
36
00:01:43,005 --> 00:01:44,502
There you go!
37
00:01:46,906 --> 00:01:50,503
Come on!
What did I tell you?
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00:01:51,806 --> 00:01:53,300
Baby steps.
39
00:01:58,307 --> 00:01:59,401
Jim, you are in my right.
40
00:02:00,606 --> 00:02:02,002
Hang to me that sauce pan.
41
00:02:06,306 --> 00:02:07,903
Do you have any burn cream?
42
00:02:10,108 --> 00:02:11,102
Burn cream?
43
00:02:11,305 --> 00:02:14,300
Yeah, or any ointment?
44
00:02:14,508 --> 00:02:16,701
Ointment?
Steven.
45
00:02:19,708 --> 00:02:22,402
One Mississipi,
two Mississippi
46
00:02:22,308 --> 00:02:25,002
Let me explain something to you
about pain in the kitchen
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00:02:25,408 --> 00:02:26,802
It doesn't exist,
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00:02:27,907 --> 00:02:30,502
which is why we don't have
any burn cream
49
00:02:30,508 --> 00:02:33,300
or ointment or chafes
50
00:02:33,705 --> 00:02:35,400
or even bums?
51
00:02:35,507 --> 00:02:38,101
Ten Mississippi!
We have a new world's record.
52
00:02:41,406 --> 00:02:43,803
Your skin!
I can smell it!
53
00:02:43,808 --> 00:02:45,903
Table 8 sent back this special.
Says it's undercooked.
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00:02:45,905 --> 00:02:47,802
Do not worry, chef.
I will just throw it back...
55
00:02:47,807 --> 00:02:49,901
...on the pan for you.
- What are you thinking, Jim?
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00:02:50,808 --> 00:02:52,400
You know what they say,
"the costumer's always right".
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00:02:52,606 --> 00:02:54,100
You know what? No.
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00:02:54,207 --> 00:02:57,600
This dish 20 out of 30 in the Zagat guide.
You wanna know why?
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00:02:57,605 --> 00:02:58,400
Because I know
what I'm doing.
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00:02:58,406 --> 00:03:00,101
So she gets it
the way I made it.
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00:03:00,108 --> 00:03:02,801
And as of now,
no more send backs at Nolita!
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00:03:02,807 --> 00:03:04,303
Yeah, you're my hero.
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00:03:05,605 --> 00:03:07,402
Bold. I like it.
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00:03:07,706 --> 00:03:10,801
Also waitresses.
Topless Tuesdays?
65
00:03:12,506 --> 00:03:15,002
No, no. I think it's great you wouldn't
cook it for over 2 seconds.
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00:03:15,006 --> 00:03:18,203
Sure! All I got was a 3% tip
on a party of 8,
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00:03:18,205 --> 00:03:20,601
but you stucked
to your guns,
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00:03:20,607 --> 00:03:23,000
whereas I must continue
to live with my mother.
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00:03:23,005 --> 00:03:24,602
You're thinking small, Cameron.
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00:03:24,708 --> 00:03:26,702
No send backs
are great for business.
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00:03:28,006 --> 00:03:29,601
People respond to confidence.
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00:03:30,205 --> 00:03:31,201
Hold this.
73
00:03:34,607 --> 00:03:35,902
Ok.
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00:03:36,005 --> 00:03:38,701
I couldn't help but notice there's
a beautiful woman looking at me
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00:03:39,108 --> 00:03:41,101
and I was just wondering
if you knew her name.
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00:03:41,406 --> 00:03:43,201
She's directly behind you.
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00:03:44,508 --> 00:03:45,802
Has that ever worked?
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00:03:45,806 --> 00:03:47,801
Once, but she didn't
speak English.
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00:03:49,208 --> 00:03:51,103
I'm Jack.
- Jack Bourdain.
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00:03:51,007 --> 00:03:53,003
You're not gonna give me
a subpoena, are you?
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00:03:53,107 --> 00:03:55,502
I've eaten at your restaurant
before, Jack
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00:03:56,008 --> 00:03:58,102
And that New York Times
review was right.
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00:03:58,305 --> 00:04:00,102
Your food is incredible.
84
00:04:00,207 --> 00:04:02,702
Stop it! Now you're
just being accurate.
85
00:04:02,708 --> 00:04:05,000
God! Sometimes I think you chefs
should just be able
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00:04:05,005 --> 00:04:07,300
to walk through his dinning room
and tell to certain people
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00:04:07,306 --> 00:04:10,802
they don't deserve the food they're about to eat,
no matter how much they're willing to pay.
88
00:04:10,806 --> 00:04:14,202
Ok, you may be the single most
brilliant woman that I've ever met.
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00:04:15,507 --> 00:04:17,602
I'll tell you something
I don't know anything about.
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00:04:17,608 --> 00:04:19,701
What's that?
- Knives.
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00:04:20,005 --> 00:04:23,703
Just wish there was someone
who could help me...
92
00:04:24,805 --> 00:04:26,303
Okay, you see,
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00:04:26,907 --> 00:04:30,402
this is an example
of less is more,
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00:04:30,805 --> 00:04:33,001
Ok? All you really need
is one good strong...
95
00:04:34,708 --> 00:04:36,101
Okay, what's this?
96
00:04:36,405 --> 00:04:38,202
I came here
to talk about knives.
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00:04:46,007 --> 00:04:47,203
So,
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00:04:47,708 --> 00:04:50,502
I heard there was a bit of a
hook-up at the Snake Pit last night.
99
00:04:52,006 --> 00:04:54,900
I don't like to kiss and tell.
It's not me.
100
00:04:55,705 --> 00:04:58,403
So, the word is getting out, huh?
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00:04:58,406 --> 00:05:02,101
Oh, it's out.
It's way out.
102
00:05:03,006 --> 00:05:04,701
Wait, what do you mean
"way out"?
103
00:05:05,306 --> 00:05:07,500
Like how far?
- You don't know who this person is, do you?
104
00:05:07,708 --> 00:05:09,103
I think I know
a little better than you do.
105
00:05:09,105 --> 00:05:11,303
So you know abour
her website chefhunter.net
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00:05:11,307 --> 00:05:12,501
chefhunter.net?
107
00:05:12,505 --> 00:05:14,503
Yeah, where she rates
New York chefs.
108
00:05:14,605 --> 00:05:16,001
Chefs? She rates chefs?
109
00:05:16,307 --> 00:05:18,001
In the sack.
110
00:05:19,808 --> 00:05:21,000
In the sack?
111
00:05:21,006 --> 00:05:23,001
Service? Presentation?
112
00:05:23,006 --> 00:05:25,003
Yeah, it's on a scale of 30.
113
00:05:25,107 --> 00:05:27,703
You know, it's like her own version
of the Zagat guide
114
00:05:27,707 --> 00:05:30,602
Okay, well that's just wrong.
Because I didn't consent to that.
115
00:05:30,605 --> 00:05:33,801
I wasn't a willing participant
in that. I didn't do... What I get?
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00:05:36,005 --> 00:05:37,203
22.
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00:05:37,207 --> 00:05:39,800
22? Who the...? 22?
118
00:05:40,107 --> 00:05:41,101
How was she even
taking notes?
119
00:05:41,106 --> 00:05:43,601
I happen to know her hands weren't
available for notes, okay?
120
00:05:43,705 --> 00:05:45,303
God, this is like
it's in real time!
121
00:05:46,208 --> 00:05:48,502
Okay, you know what?
22 is pretty good.
122
00:05:48,408 --> 00:05:50,302
Yeah, absolutely.
Scrawl down.
123
00:05:51,705 --> 00:05:55,302
Jean Georges got a 28?
- Now that's extraordinary!
124
00:05:55,606 --> 00:05:57,001
Keep reading, keep reading.
125
00:05:57,507 --> 00:05:59,403
There's a Noah for Noah's Bagels?
126
00:06:02,196 --> 00:06:03,190
27.
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00:06:03,205 --> 00:06:05,403
You know there's an
everything bagel?
128
00:06:06,608 --> 00:06:09,001
Did you read the summary?
- Yes, I did!
129
00:06:09,105 --> 00:06:10,401
How do I turn this off?
- Wait, wait!
130
00:06:10,507 --> 00:06:12,700
"Jack Bourdain offers a service
of rendition
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00:06:12,708 --> 00:06:17,203
of an experience we've all had
many many times".
132
00:06:19,005 --> 00:06:23,101
Jack, I think that would make
you a send back.
133
00:06:27,406 --> 00:06:29,203
Who even uses the Internet?
134
00:06:35,706 --> 00:06:37,101
Here's the thing about reviews:
135
00:06:37,908 --> 00:06:39,503
you can't believe
the good ones,
136
00:06:39,506 --> 00:06:43,100
because if you believe the good ones,
then you gotta believe the bad ones too.
137
00:06:43,806 --> 00:06:46,802
Now, the problem is,
we all believe the good ones.
138
00:07:04,807 --> 00:07:07,501
Okay, I want whoever did this
to come forward.
139
00:07:07,506 --> 00:07:10,802
No, not because it's about me,
because it's unprofessional
140
00:07:11,107 --> 00:07:13,102
and it was covering
the credit card sign.
141
00:07:13,907 --> 00:07:16,500
Yeah, people with credit cards
would just walk...
142
00:07:16,507 --> 00:07:19,301
Okay, who's laughing? 'Cause
laughing is also unprofessional!
143
00:07:22,008 --> 00:07:23,800
All you guys
think about that.
144
00:07:24,304 --> 00:07:25,701
Amateurs!
145
00:07:25,505 --> 00:07:27,205
You can't believe every review, Jack.
I mean, I do,
146
00:07:27,203 --> 00:07:31,002
but then again I've never been given
anything less than spectacular.
147
00:07:32,409 --> 00:07:36,002
No, no, I get it. It's funny, it's funny.
It's my laugh with it.
148
00:07:36,108 --> 00:07:37,903
I know, I just slept
with a crazy woman.
149
00:07:38,006 --> 00:07:39,700
I won't be doing that again
even if she begged me.
150
00:07:39,705 --> 00:07:42,200
Why would she beg you?
The beg guy beat you by five.
151
00:07:53,208 --> 00:07:54,403
Guilty.
152
00:07:54,708 --> 00:07:58,202
I came in early and organized
everybody's meeze and plus
153
00:07:58,206 --> 00:08:00,403
and sharpened
everybody's knives.
154
00:08:00,608 --> 00:08:02,403
There's no need
to thank me.
155
00:08:03,608 --> 00:08:05,702
You sleazed my meeze?
156
00:08:07,508 --> 00:08:09,701
You never touch
a person's meeze.
157
00:08:12,405 --> 00:08:13,702
Never.
158
00:08:16,308 --> 00:08:17,501
Why are you leaving?
159
00:08:22,906 --> 00:08:26,300
You know?
I know change can be scary...
160
00:08:26,307 --> 00:08:27,803
Get him!
- Get him!
161
00:08:31,006 --> 00:08:32,602
Not cool!
162
00:08:34,805 --> 00:08:37,703
Nobody panic!
Just a little pepper in the eye.
163
00:08:40,006 --> 00:08:43,103
Who would you rather do?
Gwyneth Paltrow or Kate Hudson?
164
00:08:43,407 --> 00:08:44,800
Kate.
165
00:08:45,006 --> 00:08:48,203
Can't moan Gwyneth Paltrow.
- You moan the last name?
166
00:08:48,208 --> 00:08:49,503
Dude, I'm usually alone.
167
00:08:50,508 --> 00:08:53,000
Queen Elisabeth or Barbara Bush?
- Queen Elisabeth.
168
00:08:53,007 --> 00:08:54,801
Woman who wears a crown
up for anything.
169
00:08:54,807 --> 00:08:56,503
So we're playing that game,
are we?
170
00:08:56,808 --> 00:08:58,100
Let's make it interesting.
171
00:08:58,506 --> 00:09:00,903
If you had to do one guy in the kitchen,
who would you do?
172
00:09:04,508 --> 00:09:06,803
Alright, desert island,
gun to your head.
173
00:09:07,006 --> 00:09:09,602
Hypothetically,
just purely hypothetically,
174
00:09:10,206 --> 00:09:13,002
I'd have to say Jack.
For political reasons.
175
00:09:12,907 --> 00:09:15,002
A kiss-ass.
One point for Jack.
176
00:09:14,907 --> 00:09:16,601
Don't expect a call
the next day.
177
00:09:18,105 --> 00:09:19,900
No, I am not playing.
178
00:09:20,808 --> 00:09:22,601
What's the matter,
pastry boy?
179
00:09:22,705 --> 00:09:26,602
So insecure about your manhood
you can't play a little game?
180
00:09:27,706 --> 00:09:28,802
Fine.
181
00:09:29,206 --> 00:09:32,303
Steven. He's been to boarding school
and I think he'd be sensitive.
182
00:09:33,106 --> 00:09:35,200
Jack.
Rodrigo?
183
00:09:35,206 --> 00:09:36,700
Steven.
- Jack!
184
00:09:36,608 --> 00:09:38,200
Enzo.
- Enzo.
185
00:09:38,308 --> 00:09:40,701
Okay, who hasn't voted yet?
186
00:09:42,306 --> 00:09:45,600
This can't be right.
I didn't get a single vote.
187
00:09:46,806 --> 00:09:48,601
And you're hurt.
- Of course not!
188
00:09:48,907 --> 00:09:50,301
It's hypothetical, okay?
189
00:09:50,705 --> 00:09:56,203
But if anybody wants to change
his vote, now is the time.
190
00:09:57,705 --> 00:10:00,203
Ok, fine.
Who cares?
191
00:10:06,505 --> 00:10:07,703
Oh, come on!
192
00:10:07,706 --> 00:10:10,800
He smells like fish.
I smell like sugar.
193
00:10:16,307 --> 00:10:17,800
She's moving!
194
00:10:18,205 --> 00:10:19,203
Here's why.
195
00:10:19,807 --> 00:10:23,403
You were exhausted, you had a long night,
you were in a strange bed.
196
00:10:24,108 --> 00:10:26,100
You can't be expected
to bring your A game.
197
00:10:27,806 --> 00:10:30,002
Everyone on this bar
saw her website, didn't they?
198
00:10:30,407 --> 00:10:32,203
Only the people
who are staring at you.
199
00:10:38,305 --> 00:10:39,600
I could use a drink.
200
00:10:39,805 --> 00:10:41,602
Hey, you know what's sexy?
- What?
201
00:10:41,605 --> 00:10:43,503
A man who can
just move on.
202
00:10:44,707 --> 00:10:45,900
Sexy.
203
00:09:46,108 --> 00:10:49,000
The problem with reviews,
specially bad ones,
204
00:10:49,107 --> 00:10:52,201
is that they take a life
of their own. Your life.
205
00:10:52,207 --> 00:10:54,500
Sure people respond
to condifence.
206
00:10:54,905 --> 00:10:58,900
The trouble is,
they can also smell desperation.
207
00:10:59,605 --> 00:11:01,600
I've got to take this call.
208
00:11:03,405 --> 00:11:06,003
I have an audition
first thing in the morning.
209
00:11:06,106 --> 00:11:07,701
My ride is leaving.
- Good!
210
00:11:08,007 --> 00:11:09,202
Because guess what,
211
00:11:09,206 --> 00:11:11,100
I didn't want to sleep
with you anyway!
212
00:11:14,407 --> 00:11:18,200
All I'm trying to say is this:
I come from money.
213
00:11:18,808 --> 00:11:21,301
You're gonna need it.
- What does that mean?
214
00:11:22,205 --> 00:11:23,202
What is this?
215
00:11:23,408 --> 00:11:26,002
Tim made the staff meal
and he saved you a plate.
216
00:11:26,006 --> 00:11:29,401
Oh, you know, I'm just
stepping up, helping out.
217
00:11:31,708 --> 00:11:33,603
Is that saffron?
- Yes!
218
00:11:33,707 --> 00:11:35,400
I knew you would
appreciate it.
219
00:11:35,408 --> 00:11:37,903
You have the best mouth
in the business.
220
00:11:38,705 --> 00:11:40,100
That's not what I meant.
221
00:11:40,408 --> 00:11:42,000
You know, Saffron costs
$40 dollars an ounce.
222
00:11:42,006 --> 00:11:45,203
And what's this pink thing that looks a lot
like my $25 a pound caperated salmon?
223
00:11:45,205 --> 00:11:47,400
It's caperated salmon, Jack.
- And it was delicious!
224
00:11:47,405 --> 00:11:50,600
I don't know. Maybe has a little
too much saffron for my taste.
225
00:11:50,608 --> 00:11:54,003
Take that back. It was perfect.
It was the perfect amount of saffron.
226
00:11:56,007 --> 00:11:58,803
I'm sorry, I was just trying
to show a little initiative.
227
00:11:59,208 --> 00:12:01,901
I don't need you to show a
little initiative. Here's what I need.
228
00:12:01,905 --> 00:12:05,003
I need to be able to ignore you.
'Cause when I can ignore you,
229
00:12:05,006 --> 00:12:06,901
like really trully ignore you,
230
00:12:06,908 --> 00:12:09,901
then you're gonna know
that you're not totally expendible.
231
00:12:09,708 --> 00:12:11,301
Jack!
- What now?
232
00:12:11,406 --> 00:12:14,802
Table 4 sent this back.
Apparently it's a little undercooked.
233
00:12:15,305 --> 00:12:17,001
What did I tell you?
234
00:12:17,006 --> 00:12:20,200
What's our policy on send-backs?
- No send-backs!
235
00:12:20,208 --> 00:12:22,302
Well, considering
you recent humiliation,
236
00:12:22,305 --> 00:12:24,202
I think you'd be
a little less arrogant.
237
00:12:24,208 --> 00:12:27,200
Oh, not a chance.
Get out of my way.
238
00:12:29,008 --> 00:12:30,503
Get out of my way.
239
00:12:33,605 --> 00:12:36,500
Look, I think it's him.
The one we read about.
240
00:12:37,108 --> 00:12:39,402
So you read about me, huh?
Let me tell you something, okay?
241
00:12:39,407 --> 00:12:41,700
Don't believe everything you read,
cause a review is a review.
242
00:12:41,708 --> 00:12:43,101
It's one person's opinion.
243
00:12:43,207 --> 00:12:47,002
And the woman who wrote it
happens to be lousy in bed. And insane.
244
00:12:47,605 --> 00:12:51,102
But the New York Times' review
is the reason we came.
245
00:12:54,306 --> 00:12:56,300
Let me get chef Bourdain.
246
00:12:56,707 --> 00:12:59,303
He's just in the bathroom.
Tricky lock.
247
00:13:04,608 --> 00:13:06,201
No booze, no drugs...
248
00:13:06,708 --> 00:13:08,900
Thank God you can't
get addicted to those.
249
00:13:08,908 --> 00:13:10,801
You okay?
- Never better.
250
00:13:11,808 --> 00:13:15,500
There are 2 things I used to do
with such confidence.
251
00:13:16,805 --> 00:13:17,902
Huh, they both end in "k".
252
00:13:18,305 --> 00:13:22,400
Two thing I used to do with such
confidence and they both ended in... jail.
253
00:13:27,407 --> 00:13:29,803
I was so sorry to hear
about your grandmother.
254
00:13:30,105 --> 00:13:32,902
What a terrible loss.
255
00:13:33,208 --> 00:13:35,901
I almost forgot! I made
something for your grandfather.
256
00:13:35,906 --> 00:13:37,003
Thank you.
257
00:13:36,707 --> 00:13:39,001
Nothing much.
Just a tarte tatin.
258
00:13:40,908 --> 00:13:43,201
Yeah, you might just want to have it
heat it up 15 minutes before
259
00:13:43,307 --> 00:13:46,100
and then serve it
with a hazelnut ice cream.
260
00:13:46,406 --> 00:13:49,803
Or you can just shove it in your mouth
right now with your finger. Really...
261
00:13:49,808 --> 00:13:51,700
doesn't matter.
262
00:13:51,707 --> 00:13:54,303
So, gun to my head?
263
00:13:54,705 --> 00:13:56,003
Gun to your head.
264
00:13:56,406 --> 00:13:58,100
Steven.
- What?
265
00:13:58,208 --> 00:14:00,003
He looks like
he can change a tire.
266
00:14:12,505 --> 00:14:15,201
That's delicious, Jack.
- Thank you.
267
00:14:15,305 --> 00:14:17,000
Really.
268
00:14:18,107 --> 00:14:21,002
You're a great cook.
- Thank you.
269
00:14:21,308 --> 00:14:22,800
And you're funny.
270
00:14:25,707 --> 00:14:28,601
And sex is overrated,
'cause as people age,
271
00:14:28,607 --> 00:14:30,503
they pleasure
each other with laughter.
272
00:14:34,006 --> 00:14:36,001
I'm gonna need you
to leave the kitchen.
273
00:14:42,805 --> 00:14:45,402
Okay, on the onset let me
just say I'm sorry.
274
00:14:45,706 --> 00:14:49,501
Things weren't as hot or as fresh
as they should have been, okay?
275
00:14:49,606 --> 00:14:53,501
And we would really like
another chance to serve you.
276
00:14:54,907 --> 00:14:58,700
Okay, well I'm sorry,
but you don't get seconds.
277
00:14:58,907 --> 00:15:00,501
It's against the rules.
278
00:15:00,507 --> 00:15:02,100
Yeah, but they're your rules.
279
00:15:02,205 --> 00:15:03,903
The rules are
a part of a system.
280
00:15:03,908 --> 00:15:07,300
Yeah, the system that you invented.
- The system is bigger than the both of us.
281
00:15:07,306 --> 00:15:09,600
You're enjoying this, aren't you?
- A little.
282
00:15:10,008 --> 00:15:11,700
And they both
end in"k", don't they?
283
00:15:11,706 --> 00:15:14,203
And they're certainly the only
addictions that I'm still allowed.
284
00:15:15,705 --> 00:15:18,902
And I'm probably also
a little obsessed and compulsive.
285
00:15:18,907 --> 00:15:20,802
Yeah, you actually told me that.
- See what I mean?
286
00:15:21,905 --> 00:15:24,703
Okay, enough with this petty party.
Play to your strength.
287
00:15:24,705 --> 00:15:26,001
You know what?
288
00:15:26,207 --> 00:15:27,701
Let me cook for you.
289
00:15:28,706 --> 00:15:30,100
Jack, I don't know.
290
00:15:30,106 --> 00:15:31,202
No, come on, come on.
291
00:15:31,705 --> 00:15:34,900
You gotta let me leave this appartment
just once knowing I've satistied you.
292
00:15:34,908 --> 00:15:37,500
So, he says mommy and daddy
won't be living together anymore
293
00:15:37,505 --> 00:15:39,802
but I'll still see you
on the weekends.
294
00:15:40,105 --> 00:15:41,402
And?
295
00:15:41,808 --> 00:15:44,400
Apparently there hasn't been a
weekend in 17 years.
296
00:15:44,406 --> 00:15:47,103
Yeah, whatever,
let's get this back on track!
297
00:15:48,105 --> 00:15:50,300
See if this helps.
298
00:15:52,606 --> 00:15:54,201
Oh, my God.
299
00:15:57,506 --> 00:16:01,602
So I punched him.
And then I find out he's a cop!
300
00:16:01,606 --> 00:16:04,400
Oh, okay, but when he is using
my cocaine, he's "Paul", you know?
301
00:16:07,806 --> 00:16:10,003
I know, I'm a genious, right?
302
00:16:11,007 --> 00:16:14,300
Yeah, so she says,
"Well, you've got pretty hair."
303
00:16:15,006 --> 00:16:16,502
Yeah, thanks, mom.
304
00:16:16,908 --> 00:16:18,303
Screw her!
305
00:16:19,308 --> 00:16:21,201
Come on,
she's probably just jealous.
306
00:16:21,508 --> 00:16:23,200
I mean, look at you.
307
00:16:24,306 --> 00:16:27,002
And Jack is back.
308
00:17:12,308 --> 00:17:15,802
That was the best sex
I ever had.
309
00:17:16,205 --> 00:17:17,603
Yeah?
310
00:17:18,806 --> 00:17:21,403
So, it's gonna be like, the 30?
311
00:17:22,008 --> 00:17:24,902
Oh, gosh, I can't assign
a numeration like that.
312
00:17:25,407 --> 00:17:28,803
And that would demean
the whole experience and you.
313
00:16:29,407 --> 00:17:32,003
Oh, God! Demean me, really!
I'm fine with it.
314
00:17:33,905 --> 00:17:37,000
What made it so incredible
was how intimate it felt
315
00:17:37,007 --> 00:17:39,800
and I don't wanna ruin that.
- I don't wanna ruin it.
316
00:17:39,806 --> 00:17:41,400
I wanna celebrate it.
317
00:17:41,406 --> 00:17:45,802
It's a perfect moment, it was perfect.
It was like 30 out of 30?
318
00:17:46,307 --> 00:17:49,001
'Cause I'm taking
your silence to me as 30.
319
00:17:49,405 --> 00:17:52,001
Jack, I'm not gonna
write about it.
320
00:17:52,306 --> 00:17:56,000
No, of course not.
I wouldn't want you to.
321
00:17:56,605 --> 00:17:58,903
Who would?
Animal, that's who.
322
00:18:01,105 --> 00:18:03,000
I'm going to jump
into the shower.
323
00:18:03,407 --> 00:18:04,802
You go do that.
324
00:18:07,606 --> 00:18:10,101
I'm just going to lay back
and take it the day.
325
00:18:13,306 --> 00:18:17,202
Hey, cherry feels so good, doesn't it?
- Yeah, it's great!
326
00:18:18,407 --> 00:18:20,202
What's your password?
327
00:18:20,607 --> 00:18:23,503
The truth is
we all hunger for approval.
328
00:18:23,607 --> 00:18:26,602
So when in doubt,
try a little tenderness.
329
00:18:26,707 --> 00:18:28,400
I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
I didn't know you were in here.
330
00:18:28,407 --> 00:18:31,602
I tried to do it all my chores
before you get in so they don't bug you.
331
00:18:31,808 --> 00:18:35,201
You know what? I haven't
noticed you in a couple of days.
332
00:18:37,906 --> 00:18:40,302
Good job.
- Really?
333
00:18:40,908 --> 00:18:43,900
You were able to ignore me?
- Totally invisible.
334
00:18:45,807 --> 00:18:48,602
I've been ignored
by Jack Bourdain!
335
00:18:48,607 --> 00:18:51,501
Sweet! You know,
a couple of dishwashers
336
00:18:15,008 --> 00:18:53,501
were telling me that they thought
you were totally ignoring me
337
00:18:53,605 --> 00:18:56,802
but I didn't allow myself to believe them.
- No, I was. Here.
338
00:18:57,606 --> 00:19:00,002
My mentor at the institute
gave that to me.
339
00:19:00,408 --> 00:19:01,900
Now it's yours.
340
00:19:03,007 --> 00:19:04,403
Thank you.
341
00:19:05,007 --> 00:19:06,600
Not the paring knife story!
342
00:19:06,907 --> 00:19:09,701
Mentor's knife?
He gave it to me 6 years ago.
343
00:19:09,708 --> 00:19:11,503
And to me 4 years ago.
344
00:19:11,507 --> 00:19:14,901
Well, it's good thing his mentor
had a lot of paring knives, huh?
345
00:19:16,307 --> 00:19:18,301
I heard about your game
346
00:19:18,306 --> 00:19:22,503
and I just wanted to let you know
that if I had to choose,
347
00:19:22,308 --> 00:19:24,502
I would pick you.
348
00:19:30,405 --> 00:19:33,003
You hear that, you losers?
349
00:19:33,307 --> 00:19:36,302
Cameron, a real homosexual,
350
00:19:36,307 --> 00:19:38,702
wants to have sex with me.
351
00:19:38,908 --> 00:19:39,902
That's right,
352
00:19:39,905 --> 00:19:43,503
a man who has sex
with other men chose me!
353
00:19:43,908 --> 00:19:46,900
I win!
I am the winner!
354
00:19:49,705 --> 00:19:51,402
Hi, Tanya.
355
00:19:51,606 --> 00:19:53,203
Hi.
356
00:19:53,206 --> 00:19:55,402
Congratulations?
357
00:19:56,406 --> 00:19:58,800
I come from money.
358
00:20:04,705 --> 00:20:06,303
Hey, man, here you go.
359
00:20:12,005 --> 00:20:14,502
It's $40 Bluegill over here.
360
00:20:15,208 --> 00:20:16,301
Oh, I get it.
361
00:20:16,307 --> 00:20:18,301
Feed the homeless drunk
a piece of uncooked fish
362
00:20:18,306 --> 00:20:20,801
with the potatoes and the leeks
all runny together.
363
00:20:20,808 --> 00:20:24,003
I live in a subway grave so
presentation becomes unimportant?
364
00:20:24,005 --> 00:20:26,402
I used to be a gym teacher!
28069
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