Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:00,125 --> 00:00:03,245
(upbeat music)
2
00:00:05,458 --> 00:00:07,038
I'm proud of us.
3
00:00:07,125 --> 00:00:09,285
Raising money
for the Seaford Club for Boys
4
00:00:09,375 --> 00:00:10,745
shows that we have maturity.
5
00:00:10,834 --> 00:00:12,504
- And we are classy.
- Yeah.
6
00:00:12,583 --> 00:00:15,253
- How much we got in the fart jar?
- Yeah!
7
00:00:15,291 --> 00:00:17,291
Whoo! We made a lot of money
by making people
8
00:00:17,417 --> 00:00:19,497
put a dollar in the jar
every time they ripped one.
9
00:00:20,792 --> 00:00:21,962
Wait, what?
10
00:00:22,041 --> 00:00:24,541
I've been paying a dollar
to fart in the jar.
11
00:00:24,625 --> 00:00:26,035
(wind hissing)
12
00:00:26,125 --> 00:00:28,915
- Ah!
- Oh, my eyes are burning!
13
00:00:31,750 --> 00:00:32,790
Guys?
14
00:00:33,709 --> 00:00:35,329
I've got big news.
15
00:00:35,417 --> 00:00:37,037
Your mother started dressing you again?
16
00:00:38,750 --> 00:00:39,790
Yes.
17
00:00:40,917 --> 00:00:43,787
And I'm buying a boat!
18
00:00:43,875 --> 00:00:44,955
Boom!
19
00:00:45,041 --> 00:00:47,001
Picture us out on the boat
20
00:00:47,083 --> 00:00:49,833
going over the waves, up and down,
21
00:00:49,917 --> 00:00:52,667
up and down, up and down,
22
00:00:52,750 --> 00:00:55,290
up and...
(vomits)
23
00:00:55,834 --> 00:00:58,044
Why did you take me out
on such a windy day?
24
00:00:59,291 --> 00:01:02,251
All I need is another 1,000 bucks
and it's mine!
25
00:01:02,291 --> 00:01:05,711
Guys, I just counted it. We have $1,100.
26
00:01:05,792 --> 00:01:07,002
Ooh, thank you.
27
00:01:08,583 --> 00:01:09,923
Hey!
28
00:01:10,000 --> 00:01:12,250
We promised that money
to the Seaford Club for Boys.
29
00:01:12,333 --> 00:01:14,503
It's an after-school hang-out
for troubled kids.
30
00:01:14,583 --> 00:01:17,463
Yeah, we're buying them all-new furniture
for their rec room. They don't have any.
31
00:01:17,542 --> 00:01:19,672
You guys need $1,000 for furniture?
32
00:01:19,750 --> 00:01:21,500
(scoffs)
For a hundred dollars,
33
00:01:21,583 --> 00:01:23,423
I can get you some beautiful stuff.
34
00:01:23,458 --> 00:01:26,498
My cousin owns the largest
Hachmachistan furniture store
35
00:01:26,583 --> 00:01:28,423
in all of California.
36
00:01:28,500 --> 00:01:31,250
Wait, your cousin is Furniture Frank?
37
00:01:31,291 --> 00:01:34,581
Oh, I love his commercials!
That guy's crazy.
38
00:01:35,959 --> 00:01:40,129
People tell me that my prices
are so low that I'm crazy!
39
00:01:40,208 --> 00:01:42,288
But if I was crazy,
40
00:01:42,375 --> 00:01:43,955
would I do this?
41
00:01:44,041 --> 00:01:46,831
(screaming)
42
00:01:47,875 --> 00:01:50,205
I'm eating my beard!
43
00:01:50,291 --> 00:01:52,711
(screaming)
44
00:01:53,250 --> 00:01:55,960
Eating his beard like that
helps him sell furniture?
45
00:01:56,041 --> 00:01:57,421
Oh, no, he's actually crazy.
46
00:01:58,917 --> 00:02:00,457
Well, this is perfect.
47
00:02:00,542 --> 00:02:03,292
The delinquents get their furniture
and I get my boat.
48
00:02:04,667 --> 00:02:07,747
(whistling)
49
00:02:13,542 --> 00:02:17,292
- Uh, Joan, that's a $100 bill.
- Yeah, do you need change for that?
50
00:02:17,375 --> 00:02:18,415
No.
51
00:02:18,500 --> 00:02:20,130
Just did some crop dustin'.
52
00:02:24,750 --> 00:02:26,170
What's crop dust...
53
00:02:26,250 --> 00:02:28,920
- Oh! Oh!
- Oh, whoa!
54
00:02:29,000 --> 00:02:30,830
Oh!
(retches)
55
00:02:30,917 --> 00:02:34,207
♪ Don't you get all tough with me ♪
56
00:02:34,291 --> 00:02:38,171
♪ I'm saying won't you
Come kick it with me? ♪
57
00:02:38,250 --> 00:02:40,630
♪ And we could have a ball
Run up the wall ♪
58
00:02:40,709 --> 00:02:42,629
♪ That's just how we do ♪
59
00:02:42,709 --> 00:02:44,669
♪ And no matter how much
I chop and punch ♪
60
00:02:44,750 --> 00:02:47,540
♪ It's not as cool
As kickin' it with you ♪
61
00:02:47,625 --> 00:02:49,575
♪ Here we go, let's start the party ♪
62
00:02:49,667 --> 00:02:51,377
♪ Chop it up like it's karate ♪
63
00:02:51,417 --> 00:02:52,877
♪ Everybody ♪
64
00:02:52,959 --> 00:02:56,209
♪ Won't you come kick it with me? ♪
65
00:02:56,291 --> 00:02:58,791
♪ And we could have a ball
Run up the wall ♪
66
00:02:58,875 --> 00:03:00,665
♪ That's just how we do ♪
67
00:03:00,750 --> 00:03:02,710
♪ And no matter how much
I chop and punch ♪
68
00:03:02,792 --> 00:03:05,292
♪ It's not as cool
As kickin' it with you ♪
69
00:03:06,375 --> 00:03:09,955
(upbeat music)
70
00:03:10,041 --> 00:03:12,671
I was this close
71
00:03:12,750 --> 00:03:16,290
to landing in a club
for delinquent boys myself.
72
00:03:16,875 --> 00:03:18,705
Really? What'd you do?
73
00:03:18,792 --> 00:03:22,712
I walked my dog
and I didn't pick up after him.
74
00:03:24,208 --> 00:03:25,538
I felt so guilty
75
00:03:25,625 --> 00:03:28,705
I went back the next day,
but it was too late.
76
00:03:28,834 --> 00:03:31,464
There was already a footprint in it.
77
00:03:35,250 --> 00:03:38,880
And it was the footprint of a baby!
78
00:03:41,291 --> 00:03:43,921
Guys, it was an honor
to donate this furniture.
79
00:03:44,000 --> 00:03:46,040
See, we would've come last Tuesday
when it was delivered,
80
00:03:46,125 --> 00:03:47,625
but we were on a boat, tubin'.
81
00:03:48,792 --> 00:03:50,132
For charity.
82
00:03:50,875 --> 00:03:54,495
Uh, see, there's this group called, uh...
83
00:03:54,583 --> 00:03:57,503
- Tubing for Tots.
- Tots.
84
00:03:57,583 --> 00:03:59,883
Yeah, we tube for tots
that can't tube for themselves.
85
00:03:59,959 --> 00:04:00,789
Mm.
86
00:04:01,417 --> 00:04:03,957
Uh, I'd like to say a few words.
(chuckles)
87
00:04:05,333 --> 00:04:08,003
Although this is a club
for delinquent boys,
88
00:04:08,083 --> 00:04:10,133
let our selfless generosity
89
00:04:10,208 --> 00:04:13,078
be a beacon of light in your empty lives.
90
00:04:13,667 --> 00:04:15,877
Dude, our lives aren't empty.
91
00:04:17,083 --> 00:04:19,793
See, already making a difference.
92
00:04:20,792 --> 00:04:21,922
Buh-bye.
93
00:04:22,875 --> 00:04:24,995
- Oh!
- (thuds)
94
00:04:25,083 --> 00:04:28,383
Dude! Look what you did
to our beautiful chair, man.
95
00:04:28,458 --> 00:04:29,458
You broke it!
96
00:04:29,542 --> 00:04:34,002
That thing cost us, like, 20...
hundred bucks.
97
00:04:34,083 --> 00:04:35,673
I didn't do anything, man.
98
00:04:35,750 --> 00:04:37,750
This thing's got termites
crawling out of it.
99
00:04:37,834 --> 00:04:38,884
Oh, boo-hoo.
100
00:04:38,959 --> 00:04:41,669
One chair out of all the furniture
we gave you has termites.
101
00:04:41,750 --> 00:04:42,830
- Oh!
- (thuds)
102
00:04:44,375 --> 00:04:47,625
(clattering)
103
00:04:49,000 --> 00:04:50,790
Oh, boo-hoo,
every single piece of furniture
104
00:04:50,875 --> 00:04:52,125
we gave you has termites.
105
00:04:54,000 --> 00:04:56,420
Guys, we have got to hurry.
Let's get this furniture out of here
106
00:04:56,500 --> 00:04:58,500
before the termites
spread to the rest of the house.
107
00:04:58,583 --> 00:05:01,673
Oh, relax,
that's never going to happen, Jack.
108
00:05:01,750 --> 00:05:04,290
(clattering)
109
00:05:05,917 --> 00:05:08,917
Out of my way!
Senseis and boat owners first!
110
00:05:11,709 --> 00:05:14,669
(upbeat music)
111
00:05:16,333 --> 00:05:19,583
Rudy, dude, we got the estimate
to repair the Boys' Club.
112
00:05:21,083 --> 00:05:24,293
- (sighs, groans)
- And here's the bill to fumigate.
113
00:05:24,375 --> 00:05:26,705
Oh. This one should be a little better.
114
00:05:26,792 --> 00:05:30,462
I mean, how much can it cost
to kill a couple of bu...
115
00:05:31,625 --> 00:05:34,625
Kill a couple of bu...
116
00:05:35,583 --> 00:05:37,753
- Rudy, it's gonna be all right.
- No, it's not, man.
117
00:05:37,834 --> 00:05:39,794
It's gonna take us years
to raise this kind of money.
118
00:05:39,875 --> 00:05:40,995
Well, we don't have years.
119
00:05:41,083 --> 00:05:42,963
If the money's not in place
by midnight tomorrow,
120
00:05:43,041 --> 00:05:45,501
the city's going to condemn the building
and auction off the property.
121
00:05:45,583 --> 00:05:48,423
Oh, problem solved. Thank you, city.
122
00:05:49,125 --> 00:05:50,165
Rudy!
123
00:05:50,500 --> 00:05:52,380
Well, I'm sure
it's going to work out for 'em.
124
00:05:52,458 --> 00:05:54,958
There's thousands of places
for them to go after school.
125
00:05:55,041 --> 00:05:58,421
Sorry, guys, there's absolutely no place
for them to go after school.
126
00:06:01,208 --> 00:06:03,248
You don't bring delinquents
into your home.
127
00:06:03,333 --> 00:06:05,583
- You can't trust 'em.
- Well...
128
00:06:06,583 --> 00:06:08,423
Shoo! Shoo!
129
00:06:08,500 --> 00:06:10,790
Rudy, Rudy, you can't do that, man.
130
00:06:10,875 --> 00:06:13,165
You're right.
They might try to steal the broom.
131
00:06:14,625 --> 00:06:16,285
Rudy, I think you're overreacting.
132
00:06:16,333 --> 00:06:17,923
No, I am not!
133
00:06:18,000 --> 00:06:20,460
I remember the delinquent from my school.
Don't ask me how,
134
00:06:20,542 --> 00:06:22,292
but he was always
running around the school
135
00:06:22,375 --> 00:06:24,415
blowing up toilets.
You couldn't trust him.
136
00:06:24,500 --> 00:06:26,290
Oh, yeah,
and you think these kids are like him?
137
00:06:26,709 --> 00:06:29,539
(toilet explodes)
138
00:06:31,875 --> 00:06:33,915
Yes. Yes, I do.
139
00:06:34,458 --> 00:06:36,668
We've gotta get these kids out of here.
They're gonna destroy this place.
140
00:06:36,750 --> 00:06:38,170
Well, if we don't raise the money
to fix their club,
141
00:06:38,250 --> 00:06:39,750
they're gonna be here all the time.
142
00:06:39,834 --> 00:06:42,134
How are we gonna raise $13,000?
143
00:06:42,208 --> 00:06:43,828
What are we gonna do?
We gonna do a bake sale?
144
00:06:43,917 --> 00:06:46,037
A carwash? Telethon?
145
00:06:46,125 --> 00:06:47,745
Ooh, actually, a telethon could work.
146
00:06:47,834 --> 00:06:49,884
Yeah, we could air it on public-access TV.
147
00:06:49,959 --> 00:06:51,959
I can't think with all your yapping!
148
00:06:52,041 --> 00:06:55,131
I could get rock star Izzy Gunnar
and some of his famous friends to perform.
149
00:06:55,208 --> 00:06:56,918
Aw, that would get people to donate!
150
00:06:57,000 --> 00:06:58,540
And then we'll get all the money we need!
151
00:06:58,625 --> 00:07:01,375
I've got it! We're having a telethon.
152
00:07:01,667 --> 00:07:03,957
(explosion)
153
00:07:04,041 --> 00:07:06,711
Let's work fast, everybody.
We're down to one stall!
154
00:07:06,792 --> 00:07:07,962
Go!
155
00:07:08,667 --> 00:07:10,497
♪ And no matter how much
I chop and punch ♪
156
00:07:10,583 --> 00:07:13,293
♪ It's not as cool
As kickin' it with you ♪
157
00:07:17,959 --> 00:07:19,209
(pins rattle)
158
00:07:19,875 --> 00:07:21,875
I wish Rudy didn't make us
watch these kids.
159
00:07:21,959 --> 00:07:23,919
They've been messing with me all day.
160
00:07:24,417 --> 00:07:25,537
Ah.
161
00:07:26,667 --> 00:07:27,707
Look at this.
162
00:07:29,166 --> 00:07:30,826
Maybe it wasn't them.
163
00:07:30,917 --> 00:07:33,377
Hey, Phil, have you been
putting worms in your hot dogs?
164
00:07:34,041 --> 00:07:35,001
Of course not.
165
00:07:35,083 --> 00:07:37,083
You know how expensive worms are?
166
00:07:37,166 --> 00:07:39,166
Okay, maybe it was them.
167
00:07:39,208 --> 00:07:41,828
Look, bro, the only reason
why they're messing with you
168
00:07:41,917 --> 00:07:43,747
is because you expect
the worst out of them.
169
00:07:43,834 --> 00:07:45,424
And that's what they're going to give you.
170
00:07:46,083 --> 00:07:49,213
See, whereas I treat them
with respect and kindness...
171
00:07:49,291 --> 00:07:51,041
Here's your ball, sir.
172
00:07:51,125 --> 00:07:52,705
...and that's what I get back.
173
00:07:52,792 --> 00:07:54,132
Thanks, little buddy.
174
00:07:57,250 --> 00:07:59,290
Hey, uh, why do you have quick-dry cement?
175
00:08:01,667 --> 00:08:03,997
(screaming)
176
00:08:07,333 --> 00:08:09,543
- No reason.
- (both laugh)
177
00:08:14,000 --> 00:08:16,170
Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen,
178
00:08:16,250 --> 00:08:19,330
welcome to the Seaford Club
for Boys Telethon!
179
00:08:19,417 --> 00:08:24,377
And here's your host, Rudy Gillespie!
180
00:08:24,500 --> 00:08:27,000
Thank you! Thank you very much.
181
00:08:27,083 --> 00:08:29,133
Tonight we're here for a good cause.
182
00:08:29,208 --> 00:08:31,288
To help some troubled boys.
183
00:08:31,417 --> 00:08:33,207
Can we bring the lights down
just a little bit?
184
00:08:33,291 --> 00:08:34,171
(switch clicks)
185
00:08:34,750 --> 00:08:35,880
Up a little bit?
186
00:08:37,917 --> 00:08:39,287
Every year,
187
00:08:39,417 --> 00:08:41,577
millions of troubled boys
188
00:08:41,667 --> 00:08:45,037
lose their clubs
to termite-infested furniture.
189
00:08:46,792 --> 00:08:48,422
Don't look that up. It's super true.
190
00:08:49,667 --> 00:08:53,707
But tonight, me, Izzy Gunnar,
and a few of his celebrity friends
191
00:08:53,792 --> 00:08:56,132
are going to raise $13,000
192
00:08:56,208 --> 00:08:58,578
to save the Seaford Club for Boys.
193
00:08:59,458 --> 00:09:00,958
And how are we going to do it?
194
00:09:01,041 --> 00:09:03,171
(piano playing)
195
00:09:03,250 --> 00:09:06,000
♪ A little song, a little dance ♪
196
00:09:06,083 --> 00:09:09,213
♪ A little seltzer down my pants... ♪
197
00:09:09,291 --> 00:09:11,381
- (hissing)
- Hoo, that's cold.
198
00:09:13,000 --> 00:09:15,500
♪ Tell your friends, tell your family ♪
199
00:09:15,583 --> 00:09:18,423
♪ Telephone us now
Give us your money... ♪
200
00:09:18,500 --> 00:09:19,920
(phone rings)
201
00:09:20,000 --> 00:09:23,290
Ooh, I wonder who this could be.
(chuckles)
202
00:09:23,375 --> 00:09:25,375
A hundred-dollar donation?
203
00:09:25,458 --> 00:09:27,128
Thanks, real person!
204
00:09:27,208 --> 00:09:30,418
♪ Tell everyone that it's finally on! ♪
205
00:09:30,500 --> 00:09:32,040
♪ It's time for
The Seaford Club for Boys ♪
206
00:09:32,125 --> 00:09:34,165
♪ Full of delinquent kids
Who have a termite infestation ♪
207
00:09:34,250 --> 00:09:38,210
♪ Telethon! ♪
208
00:09:39,959 --> 00:09:42,039
♪ With me, Rudy! ♪
(exhales)
209
00:09:42,125 --> 00:09:44,575
(tepid applause)
210
00:09:46,083 --> 00:09:49,083
All right, let's see how much
my opening number brought in.
211
00:09:49,166 --> 00:09:50,416
What do we got, Phil?
212
00:09:50,500 --> 00:09:53,960
♪ Your friends did not call
Or your family ♪
213
00:09:54,041 --> 00:09:56,711
♪ No one telephoned, we got no money ♪
214
00:09:56,792 --> 00:09:57,922
Phil!
215
00:10:01,291 --> 00:10:05,001
All right, and now the moment
you've all been waiting for.
216
00:10:05,083 --> 00:10:06,213
(drumroll)
217
00:10:06,291 --> 00:10:09,041
Please welcome my celebrity friends!
218
00:10:11,667 --> 00:10:13,417
My celebrity friends!
219
00:10:13,500 --> 00:10:14,670
(drumroll)
220
00:10:16,542 --> 00:10:18,672
- Celebrity friends!
- (drumroll)
221
00:10:22,291 --> 00:10:23,461
Izzy called.
222
00:10:23,542 --> 00:10:26,292
He and all his friends
are stuck in the airport in Chicago.
223
00:10:26,333 --> 00:10:27,293
They're not coming.
224
00:10:31,542 --> 00:10:34,172
♪ Tell your friends, tell your family ♪
225
00:10:34,250 --> 00:10:37,540
♪ Telephone us now, give us your money! ♪
226
00:10:37,625 --> 00:10:38,745
(Rudy crying)
227
00:10:38,834 --> 00:10:41,174
We're in so much trouble.
228
00:10:44,792 --> 00:10:47,082
(upbeat music)
229
00:10:47,333 --> 00:10:51,633
We have 50 minutes to raise $13,000
and we've got no acts.
230
00:10:51,709 --> 00:10:55,249
You do realize this means the delinquents
will be at my dojo every day.
231
00:10:55,333 --> 00:10:56,333
What are we going to do?
232
00:10:56,417 --> 00:10:58,707
We're going to rally together
and get through this.
233
00:10:58,792 --> 00:11:00,082
We don't need celebrities.
234
00:11:00,166 --> 00:11:02,456
We've got tons of talent
right here in our own backyard.
235
00:11:02,542 --> 00:11:05,252
(piano playing)
236
00:11:05,750 --> 00:11:06,920
What?
237
00:11:07,000 --> 00:11:11,210
This song goes out
to a special guy named Gary.
238
00:11:11,291 --> 00:11:13,251
So if you're a special guy named Gary,
239
00:11:13,291 --> 00:11:16,131
give me a call. I'd love to meet you.
240
00:11:17,917 --> 00:11:21,037
You don't even have to be special
or even named Gary.
241
00:11:21,458 --> 00:11:23,708
Any man with a phone will do.
242
00:11:25,875 --> 00:11:27,205
Wow, Johnny,
243
00:11:27,583 --> 00:11:30,083
that's some really nice tinkling, huh?
244
00:11:30,166 --> 00:11:31,326
(chuckling)
245
00:11:31,417 --> 00:11:35,377
Now let's give the people
what they paid for, huh?
246
00:11:36,542 --> 00:11:38,542
(piano music playing)
247
00:11:43,041 --> 00:11:44,501
- (scrapes)
- (piano music stops)
248
00:11:46,500 --> 00:11:47,710
(thuds)
249
00:11:57,792 --> 00:11:59,502
(laughs)
250
00:12:00,250 --> 00:12:01,420
Ooh.
251
00:12:02,291 --> 00:12:03,461
Oh.
252
00:12:21,208 --> 00:12:22,328
(thuds)
253
00:12:26,458 --> 00:12:28,038
- Isn't she something?
- (piano stops)
254
00:12:28,125 --> 00:12:30,745
That is Joan Malone!
255
00:12:30,875 --> 00:12:33,285
(scattered applause)
256
00:12:33,375 --> 00:12:37,245
All right, uh,
let's check our big tote board.
257
00:12:37,291 --> 00:12:39,131
We had 15 before that last act,
258
00:12:39,208 --> 00:12:40,788
and now we have...
259
00:12:42,834 --> 00:12:43,964
Eight?
260
00:12:44,041 --> 00:12:46,381
How did we lose seven dollars?
261
00:12:47,083 --> 00:12:49,883
A guy named Gary called.
He wanted his money back.
262
00:12:52,208 --> 00:12:54,418
♪ Kickin' it with you ♪
263
00:12:54,500 --> 00:12:55,500
- Hup!
- Ha!
264
00:12:55,583 --> 00:12:56,583
- Hup!
- Yah!
265
00:12:56,667 --> 00:12:57,747
- Hup!
- Ha!
266
00:12:57,834 --> 00:13:00,294
All right, guys. Great job.
Keep up the work.
267
00:13:02,000 --> 00:13:04,580
Uh, dude, why do you have
two bowling balls?
268
00:13:04,667 --> 00:13:07,537
Oh, I glued this one to my other hand
to balance me out.
269
00:13:07,625 --> 00:13:09,915
You know, without it,
I just kept walking in circles.
270
00:13:11,417 --> 00:13:14,877
Yo, you're actually doing
karate with these monsters?
271
00:13:14,959 --> 00:13:16,459
Dude, they're not monsters.
272
00:13:16,542 --> 00:13:18,002
I saw something in them
that you didn't see.
273
00:13:18,875 --> 00:13:20,915
If you channel their energy
in a constructive way,
274
00:13:21,000 --> 00:13:22,710
they're too preoccupied
to get into trouble.
275
00:13:22,792 --> 00:13:25,042
They're actually really great kids.
276
00:13:26,250 --> 00:13:27,830
Sorry about the bowling ball.
277
00:13:29,166 --> 00:13:31,036
If we just found a way
to channel our energy
278
00:13:31,125 --> 00:13:32,705
in a constructive way,
279
00:13:32,792 --> 00:13:34,582
we'd be too preoccupied
to get into trouble.
280
00:13:34,667 --> 00:13:36,957
- Yeah, we're actually great kids.
- Yeah.
281
00:13:38,875 --> 00:13:41,325
Hey, guys, let's hit this rock wall
you wanted to try.
282
00:13:43,125 --> 00:13:43,995
So it's really simple.
283
00:13:44,083 --> 00:13:45,883
You just got to pick a grip
and climb your way up.
284
00:13:48,250 --> 00:13:49,630
Jack: Okay.
285
00:13:52,041 --> 00:13:53,211
(grunts)
286
00:13:53,291 --> 00:13:55,461
Now it gets a little trickier
once you get near the top
287
00:13:55,542 --> 00:13:56,542
because... Whoa!
288
00:13:58,542 --> 00:14:00,212
That doesn't usually happen.
289
00:14:00,291 --> 00:14:01,381
Whoa!
290
00:14:02,834 --> 00:14:04,504
You guys loosened the grips, didn't you?
291
00:14:04,583 --> 00:14:06,423
Both: Uh-huh.
292
00:14:06,667 --> 00:14:09,627
- So that means that I'm gonna--
- Uh-huh.
293
00:14:09,709 --> 00:14:10,959
Whoa!
294
00:14:12,750 --> 00:14:13,790
(groans)
295
00:14:14,709 --> 00:14:15,919
Get back! Get back.
296
00:14:16,000 --> 00:14:17,960
I'm never letting you guys
mess with me again.
297
00:14:18,041 --> 00:14:20,081
Dude, hold that thought.
298
00:14:20,166 --> 00:14:23,376
You've got a giant mosquito
on your forehead.
299
00:14:23,458 --> 00:14:25,538
Wait, what? Where?
300
00:14:29,083 --> 00:14:30,333
Did I get it?
301
00:14:32,417 --> 00:14:35,457
(upbeat music)
302
00:14:36,333 --> 00:14:40,583
We have 37 minutes
and we've only raised $16.
303
00:14:40,917 --> 00:14:44,417
And that was from a guy
who called begging us to end the telethon.
304
00:14:45,083 --> 00:14:46,673
We can still pull this together.
305
00:14:46,750 --> 00:14:49,000
(mocking grunt)
Sure we can, yeah.
306
00:14:49,083 --> 00:14:51,293
Yeah, I don't know.
Why don't we just have Phil
307
00:14:51,375 --> 00:14:52,785
stick his hand up some dumb doll
308
00:14:52,875 --> 00:14:54,745
and try to pass himself off
as a ventriloquist?
309
00:14:55,750 --> 00:14:57,540
Oh, hello, Herbert.
310
00:15:00,917 --> 00:15:04,037
Why don't you tell these nice people
something about yourself?
311
00:15:04,125 --> 00:15:05,125
No!
312
00:15:05,709 --> 00:15:08,919
Come on, Herbert.
You promised to be nice today.
313
00:15:09,000 --> 00:15:12,960
And you promised to stop dancing
in front of me in your underpants.
314
00:15:14,583 --> 00:15:17,503
Hey, Herbert, come on, man.
That was only one time.
315
00:15:17,583 --> 00:15:19,083
One time was all it took.
316
00:15:19,166 --> 00:15:20,786
Now every time I close my eyes,
317
00:15:20,875 --> 00:15:22,495
I see it all over again.
318
00:15:22,583 --> 00:15:24,793
Ah! Ah! Ah!
319
00:15:24,875 --> 00:15:25,785
Okay, stop it.
320
00:15:25,875 --> 00:15:26,785
No, you stop it.
321
00:15:26,875 --> 00:15:28,785
Now you better stop... Ow! He bit me.
322
00:15:28,875 --> 00:15:30,625
There's more where that came from!
323
00:15:30,709 --> 00:15:33,579
(screams)
Oh, no!
324
00:15:33,667 --> 00:15:36,497
No, no, no!
325
00:15:38,959 --> 00:15:42,039
(laughing)
Dummies.
326
00:15:43,792 --> 00:15:46,172
Run into the dojo,
have Jack put on a show gi.
327
00:15:46,250 --> 00:15:48,750
He can come over here,
do one of those karate demos to music.
328
00:15:48,834 --> 00:15:50,004
People love that stuff.
329
00:15:50,083 --> 00:15:52,753
Or I could put on my star-spangled outfit
330
00:15:52,834 --> 00:15:54,834
and do a high-spirited,
patriotic tap routine
331
00:15:54,917 --> 00:15:56,417
that will bring down the house.
332
00:15:56,500 --> 00:15:58,830
- Ah, I didn't think of that.
- Huh?
333
00:15:58,959 --> 00:16:00,669
Go get Jack!
334
00:16:02,125 --> 00:16:04,375
(upbeat music)
335
00:16:04,792 --> 00:16:07,632
And now another hilarious joke
336
00:16:08,375 --> 00:16:09,705
from these Popsicles.
337
00:16:11,834 --> 00:16:13,964
- (rustles)
- (panting)
338
00:16:14,792 --> 00:16:18,172
(stutters)
What do you call...
339
00:16:18,542 --> 00:16:21,542
two...
(mumbles)
340
00:16:21,625 --> 00:16:24,035
...witches who live together?
341
00:16:24,875 --> 00:16:28,165
I guess I'll just eat it
to get to the punch line.
342
00:16:34,625 --> 00:16:39,125
(chuckles)
"Broom..."
343
00:16:39,667 --> 00:16:42,127
Sorry, folks. Another brain freeze.
344
00:16:45,208 --> 00:16:47,378
(whirs)
345
00:16:48,250 --> 00:16:50,500
(stutters)
"Broommates"!
346
00:16:52,875 --> 00:16:53,995
Nothin'?
347
00:16:54,583 --> 00:16:55,633
Really?
348
00:16:58,458 --> 00:17:00,168
Rudy, I brought Jack.
349
00:17:00,250 --> 00:17:01,380
Great, where is he?
350
00:17:04,667 --> 00:17:05,957
What happened?
351
00:17:06,041 --> 00:17:07,631
Walt and Jesse are what happened.
352
00:17:07,709 --> 00:17:09,329
They've been terrorizing us all day.
353
00:17:09,834 --> 00:17:13,134
Rudy, there's only one thing we can do.
354
00:17:13,500 --> 00:17:15,920
(Velcro ripping)
355
00:17:16,667 --> 00:17:17,707
Tap!
356
00:17:18,959 --> 00:17:20,289
(drumbeat)
357
00:17:21,917 --> 00:17:25,287
("Yankee Doodle Dandy" playing)
358
00:17:25,375 --> 00:17:28,575
(feet tapping)
359
00:17:34,000 --> 00:17:36,500
I don't believe it. We're making money!
360
00:17:49,375 --> 00:17:50,535
(thuds)
361
00:17:50,959 --> 00:17:53,129
(music stops)
362
00:17:54,458 --> 00:17:56,168
What is wrong with you two?
363
00:17:56,250 --> 00:17:58,170
We're trying to save your club.
364
00:17:58,250 --> 00:18:00,750
No, you're not.
We heard what you said in the dojo.
365
00:18:00,834 --> 00:18:02,754
The only reason why you're trying
to save the club
366
00:18:02,834 --> 00:18:04,294
is to get rid of us "delinquents."
367
00:18:04,417 --> 00:18:06,667
Yeah, you don't even care about us.
368
00:18:07,000 --> 00:18:08,210
(Jerry gasps)
369
00:18:08,291 --> 00:18:09,751
How dare you?
370
00:18:09,834 --> 00:18:12,834
- I farted in a jar for you!
- (thuds)
371
00:18:14,166 --> 00:18:15,916
Yeah, and we gave you furniture.
372
00:18:16,000 --> 00:18:17,710
Cheap furniture full of termites.
373
00:18:17,792 --> 00:18:21,632
Well, we needed the extra money
for the boat.
374
00:18:22,291 --> 00:18:23,751
We thought you were different.
375
00:18:23,834 --> 00:18:27,754
I mean, you're a sensei.
You care about these guys.
376
00:18:28,792 --> 00:18:30,422
We thought you'd care about us too.
377
00:18:31,583 --> 00:18:33,793
But you're just like everybody else.
378
00:18:41,709 --> 00:18:42,959
(whispers)
379
00:18:46,166 --> 00:18:47,876
Hey, everyone, can I have your attention?
380
00:18:47,959 --> 00:18:49,499
(piano music plays)
381
00:18:49,583 --> 00:18:51,753
The whole reason
we're holding this telethon
382
00:18:51,834 --> 00:18:54,754
is to save the Seaford Club for Boys.
383
00:18:54,834 --> 00:18:56,834
And two of those boys are with us tonight.
384
00:18:57,750 --> 00:18:59,040
Are they bad kids?
385
00:18:59,875 --> 00:19:01,035
Oh, yeah, they're bad.
386
00:19:01,166 --> 00:19:03,496
- The worst! These kids are like--
- Rudy.
387
00:19:06,500 --> 00:19:07,630
But it doesn't matter.
388
00:19:08,250 --> 00:19:09,580
We made a commitment.
389
00:19:10,208 --> 00:19:12,128
And when you set out to do
something good for someone,
390
00:19:12,208 --> 00:19:13,538
you do it, you follow through.
391
00:19:13,625 --> 00:19:16,375
And you don't buy yourself a really
nice boat just to get ladies.
392
00:19:18,208 --> 00:19:21,328
And that's why anyone
who donates $10 right now
393
00:19:21,417 --> 00:19:24,037
will be entered in a raffle
to win this boat.
394
00:19:24,583 --> 00:19:26,793
It floats in water!
395
00:19:26,875 --> 00:19:29,375
(phones ringing)
396
00:19:32,333 --> 00:19:33,293
Hello?
397
00:19:35,000 --> 00:19:37,250
Oh, that's great news, ma'am.
Thank you so much.
398
00:19:37,291 --> 00:19:39,081
Oh, just one second,
I'm going to put you on hold.
399
00:19:39,166 --> 00:19:40,496
- (clears throat)
- (phone rings)
400
00:19:43,542 --> 00:19:45,002
I think she hung up.
401
00:19:48,417 --> 00:19:50,247
♪ Kickin' it with you ♪
402
00:19:51,125 --> 00:19:53,915
All the new stuff they gave us
is really cool.
403
00:19:54,000 --> 00:19:56,040
But do you think
they'll ever let us use it?
404
00:19:57,000 --> 00:19:58,960
Oh, I love this place.
Do we ever have to leave?
405
00:19:59,041 --> 00:20:00,291
I don't see why.
406
00:20:00,875 --> 00:20:02,875
Oh, if I knew how awesome
this place was going to be,
407
00:20:02,959 --> 00:20:05,079
I totally would have been a delinquent.
408
00:20:05,166 --> 00:20:07,246
In fact, I'm going to start right now.
409
00:20:08,417 --> 00:20:12,377
Ooh! Ah! Check it out, people.
410
00:20:12,458 --> 00:20:14,458
No coaster! Ha!
411
00:20:23,458 --> 00:20:26,248
Oh, who am I kidding?
I don't want to leave a ring!
412
00:20:27,959 --> 00:20:30,379
Hey, guys, thanks for everything you did.
413
00:20:30,458 --> 00:20:32,498
This is really great.
414
00:20:32,834 --> 00:20:33,964
We talked about it.
415
00:20:34,542 --> 00:20:36,462
This isn't just a once-a-year thing.
416
00:20:36,542 --> 00:20:38,712
You guys are welcome at the dojo anytime.
417
00:20:38,792 --> 00:20:40,922
We're sorry we caused so much trouble.
418
00:20:41,000 --> 00:20:42,960
Well, we kind of deserved it.
419
00:20:43,041 --> 00:20:44,631
But we're all even, right?
420
00:20:45,250 --> 00:20:48,540
(toilet explodes)
421
00:20:48,625 --> 00:20:51,285
Ha ha! Now we're even!
422
00:20:54,750 --> 00:20:57,420
(upbeat music)
423
00:20:59,000 --> 00:21:02,830
I'm really glad you called
after seeing me on the telethon.
424
00:21:02,917 --> 00:21:05,457
You are cute as a button.
425
00:21:05,542 --> 00:21:06,712
(laughing)
426
00:21:06,792 --> 00:21:09,792
And you are as cute as a kitten.
427
00:21:09,875 --> 00:21:11,745
Oh!
(purrs)
428
00:21:11,834 --> 00:21:13,294
Meow!
429
00:21:13,375 --> 00:21:15,825
- (purring)
- (meowing)
430
00:21:16,834 --> 00:21:19,254
Okay, I'm starting to feel
really uncomfortable.
431
00:21:19,333 --> 00:21:20,883
I don't want to do this anymore.
432
00:21:22,041 --> 00:21:24,461
Listen, you better get
back down there now.
433
00:21:24,542 --> 00:21:25,672
Do what he says!
434
00:21:28,583 --> 00:21:30,423
Now where were we?
435
00:21:32,917 --> 00:21:35,327
(closing theme music)
436
00:21:56,875 --> 00:21:57,745
Man: Poor soul.
437
00:21:57,834 --> 00:21:58,834
(dog snarls, barks)
438
00:22:01,875 --> 00:22:02,825
Boy: Yes!
31991
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof