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1
00:00:00,500 --> 00:00:02,540
(upbeat music)
2
00:00:04,500 --> 00:00:06,500
Thanks for helping me study
for my entrance exam.
3
00:00:06,875 --> 00:00:09,705
If I don't make it into Oxbridge
University, I could end up like...
4
00:00:17,375 --> 00:00:19,125
I'd better make it into Oxbridge.
5
00:00:20,083 --> 00:00:22,583
Hey, my cousin Chuy is DJ'ing
a frat party at Oxbridge.
6
00:00:23,041 --> 00:00:24,671
- We should all go.
- Oh, yeah.
7
00:00:24,750 --> 00:00:26,630
It would totally give you
a chance to relax, Milton.
8
00:00:27,166 --> 00:00:28,956
Relaxation does increase brain function.
9
00:00:29,291 --> 00:00:30,631
Yeah, I think that's true.
10
00:00:30,875 --> 00:00:33,285
My brain relaxes so hard it
takes naps on me all the...
11
00:00:37,166 --> 00:00:38,036
time.
12
00:00:40,166 --> 00:00:41,036
(whistling)
13
00:00:41,125 --> 00:00:43,625
Hey, Joan, looking good
in your new security uniform.
14
00:00:43,917 --> 00:00:45,627
Oh, I love this new job.
15
00:00:45,709 --> 00:00:47,499
And check out my fancy utility belt.
16
00:00:47,834 --> 00:00:49,834
Is that where you keep your
hand cuffs and walkie-talkie?
17
00:00:50,000 --> 00:00:51,960
Oh, no. My chicken niblets,
18
00:00:52,375 --> 00:00:53,875
and my dipping sauce.
19
00:00:54,625 --> 00:00:55,705
Mmm.
20
00:00:56,083 --> 00:00:58,133
I got my sun tea brewing
on the back porch.
21
00:01:00,834 --> 00:01:02,794
Hey, you guys hear the wharf is displaying
22
00:01:02,875 --> 00:01:05,785
Luke Skywalker's original lightsaber
from the movies?
23
00:01:07,041 --> 00:01:08,171
I'm in charge of guarding it.
24
00:01:08,250 --> 00:01:11,630
I love those movies, but is anyone gonna
get that excited about a lightsaber?
25
00:01:11,709 --> 00:01:13,129
I mean, it's just a movie prop.
26
00:01:13,417 --> 00:01:15,417
(heroic music)
27
00:01:16,750 --> 00:01:19,000
I am Rudy-Wan Kenobi.
28
00:01:20,834 --> 00:01:21,834
Remember...
29
00:01:22,375 --> 00:01:25,075
Nothing is impossible
when you use the force, Jack.
30
00:01:27,333 --> 00:01:28,213
(Rudy yelps)
31
00:01:28,291 --> 00:01:29,831
- (thudding)
- (grunting)
32
00:01:30,667 --> 00:01:32,667
Except maybe walking
down stairs in a robe.
33
00:01:35,375 --> 00:01:36,245
(theme music)
34
00:01:36,291 --> 00:01:39,381
♪ Don't you get all tough with me ♪
35
00:01:39,458 --> 00:01:43,418
♪ I'm saying won't you
Come kick it with me? ♪
36
00:01:43,500 --> 00:01:46,000
♪ And we could have a ball
Run up the wall ♪
37
00:01:46,333 --> 00:01:47,883
♪ That's just how we do ♪
38
00:01:48,041 --> 00:01:49,921
♪ And no matter how much
I chop and punch ♪
39
00:01:50,000 --> 00:01:52,460
♪ It's not as cool
As kickin' it with you ♪
40
00:01:53,083 --> 00:01:54,673
♪ Here we go, let's start the party ♪
41
00:01:55,083 --> 00:01:56,503
♪ Chop it up like it's karate ♪
42
00:01:56,875 --> 00:01:57,955
♪ Everybody ♪
43
00:01:58,333 --> 00:02:01,423
♪ Won't you come kick it with me? ♪
44
00:02:01,500 --> 00:02:03,960
♪ And we could have a ball
Run up the wall ♪
45
00:02:04,333 --> 00:02:05,463
♪ That's just how we do ♪
46
00:02:06,083 --> 00:02:07,963
♪ And no matter how much
I chop and punch ♪
47
00:02:08,041 --> 00:02:10,711
♪ It's not as cool
As kickin' it with you ♪
48
00:02:11,792 --> 00:02:13,792
(party music playing)
49
00:02:15,000 --> 00:02:16,750
(indistinct chatter)
50
00:02:18,875 --> 00:02:21,455
Guys, this is
the Skull and Bones frat house,
51
00:02:21,667 --> 00:02:23,627
one of America's
most prestigious fraternities.
52
00:02:24,000 --> 00:02:26,670
Do you realize that one of the future
presidents of the United States
53
00:02:26,750 --> 00:02:28,420
is probably in this room right now?
54
00:02:29,166 --> 00:02:30,576
I ate too much cake!
55
00:02:30,667 --> 00:02:32,457
I'm gonna hurl!
56
00:02:32,542 --> 00:02:33,582
Yeah!
57
00:02:35,208 --> 00:02:36,498
If it's him, he's got my vote.
58
00:02:37,125 --> 00:02:39,705
Dude, my cousin Chuy said that they have
an antique Cannon in the backyard
59
00:02:39,792 --> 00:02:41,292
that they blast chocolate pudding out of.
60
00:02:41,375 --> 00:02:43,245
- Let's go check it out! Come on.
- How sick is that?
61
00:02:43,333 --> 00:02:44,923
Oh, no, guys, don't leave me!
62
00:02:45,583 --> 00:02:46,463
Gah!
63
00:02:49,500 --> 00:02:50,380
Wow.
64
00:02:51,166 --> 00:02:52,376
Look at all these trophies.
65
00:02:53,041 --> 00:02:54,631
These guys are impressive.
66
00:02:57,417 --> 00:02:58,417
- Milton: Whoa!
- (thumps)
67
00:03:00,000 --> 00:03:02,170
( grunting(
68
00:03:02,291 --> 00:03:03,671
You doing okay there, buddy?
69
00:03:03,750 --> 00:03:05,080
Yeah, just...
70
00:03:05,166 --> 00:03:06,166
- whoa!
- (metal clangs)
71
00:03:09,458 --> 00:03:10,958
You might want to take that off.
72
00:03:11,542 --> 00:03:13,132
That's JP's hurling cup.
73
00:03:13,458 --> 00:03:15,458
Milton: Oh! Get it off me, get it off me!
74
00:03:16,667 --> 00:03:18,417
(gasps, pants)
75
00:03:21,625 --> 00:03:22,745
Tom Buchanan.
76
00:03:22,834 --> 00:03:24,254
President of the Skull and Bones.
77
00:03:24,667 --> 00:03:26,127
And you're Milton Krupnick.
78
00:03:27,333 --> 00:03:28,173
I've heard of you.
79
00:03:29,083 --> 00:03:30,003
You have?
80
00:03:30,083 --> 00:03:33,503
Junior astronaut, assistant to famed
inventor Derek Tanner,
81
00:03:33,583 --> 00:03:35,003
accepted into Biltmore Academy.
82
00:03:35,083 --> 00:03:37,383
Oh. You're leaving out
that I learned to whistle in the womb.
83
00:03:39,959 --> 00:03:43,039
You know, we're always looking
for Skull and Bones prospects.
84
00:03:43,917 --> 00:03:45,037
That could be you.
85
00:03:45,667 --> 00:03:48,287
My dad's the Dean of admissions
here at Oxbridge.
86
00:03:49,083 --> 00:03:51,253
Your dad is Arthur Winslow Buchanan,
87
00:03:51,333 --> 00:03:53,503
yachting expert and
bird-watching enthusiast?
88
00:03:55,875 --> 00:03:57,455
Some boys like sports...
89
00:03:57,834 --> 00:03:59,084
I like deans.
90
00:04:00,667 --> 00:04:02,667
Relax, have a good time.
91
00:04:03,291 --> 00:04:04,791
I take care of my friends.
92
00:04:06,542 --> 00:04:07,792
Jack! Jerry!
93
00:04:08,375 --> 00:04:09,535
I'm ready to party!
94
00:04:10,000 --> 00:04:11,630
Jack and Jerry: Pudding Cannon!
95
00:04:11,709 --> 00:04:12,919
(explosion, splattering)
96
00:04:13,125 --> 00:04:14,125
(groans)
97
00:04:16,291 --> 00:04:18,291
(upbeat music)
98
00:04:21,375 --> 00:04:23,875
Hey, so what are you doing for
Kim's birthday now that she's in Japan?
99
00:04:24,083 --> 00:04:25,753
Well, the Otai Academy is really strict.
100
00:04:25,834 --> 00:04:27,384
They only allow one phone call a month
101
00:04:27,458 --> 00:04:29,128
to keep their students
focused on their studies.
102
00:04:29,208 --> 00:04:31,128
Kim's saved her call
and we're gonna FaceTalk tonight.
103
00:04:31,208 --> 00:04:32,538
Oh, cool.
104
00:04:32,625 --> 00:04:34,245
Yeah, I thought about
sending something to Kim.
105
00:04:34,834 --> 00:04:35,924
But you didn't?
106
00:04:36,667 --> 00:04:38,287
Why would I? It's the thought that counts.
107
00:04:38,667 --> 00:04:40,377
(engine revving)
108
00:04:42,000 --> 00:04:43,040
Dude, check it out.
109
00:04:43,792 --> 00:04:44,672
Whoa!
110
00:04:45,083 --> 00:04:48,213
Whoo-hoo! Whoa! Whoa!
111
00:04:49,125 --> 00:04:52,205
Whoa! Whoa! Oooh! Whoa!
112
00:04:52,291 --> 00:04:53,211
(thuds)
113
00:04:53,291 --> 00:04:54,751
Sorry, you lose!
114
00:04:55,959 --> 00:04:59,539
Who else thinks they can finish
the "extreme road trip challenge"?
115
00:04:59,875 --> 00:05:02,535
Just survive the trip from California
to New York,
116
00:05:02,792 --> 00:05:05,132
and you win this Yamasuki dirt bike!
117
00:05:05,458 --> 00:05:07,998
But if you fall off the bike, you lose.
118
00:05:08,208 --> 00:05:09,288
Oh!
119
00:05:09,625 --> 00:05:11,165
I'm up for the challenge, my friend.
120
00:05:12,291 --> 00:05:14,211
Let me show you how a real
man rides a hog.
121
00:05:14,333 --> 00:05:15,253
(laughs)
122
00:05:15,333 --> 00:05:16,673
- (engine revving loudly)
- Aah!
123
00:05:16,750 --> 00:05:17,710
(thuds)
124
00:05:18,291 --> 00:05:20,631
Sorry, you lose.
125
00:05:20,917 --> 00:05:22,747
Why'd that hog have to be so loud?
126
00:05:24,458 --> 00:05:26,458
(upbeat music)
127
00:05:28,917 --> 00:05:32,037
All right, it's a lightsaber.
128
00:05:32,583 --> 00:05:35,463
Take a quick look and move on, people.
129
00:05:36,333 --> 00:05:38,673
Or the empire won't be the only thing...
130
00:05:39,250 --> 00:05:40,420
striking back!
131
00:05:40,500 --> 00:05:41,630
(laughs)
132
00:05:41,959 --> 00:05:43,669
(laughs)
That nerd got it.
133
00:05:45,125 --> 00:05:46,825
Hey! Would it be all
right if I took a picture?
134
00:05:47,667 --> 00:05:51,167
Well, it's against policy,
but I guess one photo wouldn't hurt.
135
00:05:51,250 --> 00:05:52,710
(chuckles)
136
00:05:52,792 --> 00:05:54,792
I call this one, uh...
137
00:05:54,875 --> 00:05:56,455
"Shady Lady".
138
00:05:59,917 --> 00:06:00,917
You're welcome.
139
00:06:03,458 --> 00:06:04,878
Tom, I have horrible news.
140
00:06:04,959 --> 00:06:07,999
I stayed so late at your party,
I fell asleep during my college exam,
141
00:06:08,291 --> 00:06:09,831
before I even finished writing my name.
142
00:06:10,667 --> 00:06:12,377
Milton, relax.
143
00:06:12,834 --> 00:06:15,584
Your exams don't matter.
My dad's gonna get you in.
144
00:06:15,709 --> 00:06:17,499
- (sighs)
- Soon, you'll be one of us.
145
00:06:17,583 --> 00:06:19,173
Oh, I don't know how I'll ever thank you.
146
00:06:20,166 --> 00:06:22,666
I wish you could help me get
a picture holding that lightsaber.
147
00:06:23,125 --> 00:06:25,535
I'm never gonna get one
with that crazy security guard here.
148
00:06:27,000 --> 00:06:29,460
Well, it is almost time
for her dinner break in her office.
149
00:06:29,542 --> 00:06:31,082
(snaps)
That's perfect.
150
00:06:31,375 --> 00:06:33,245
You go in there and turn off
the security system,
151
00:06:33,417 --> 00:06:35,167
I get a cool picture,
and then I put it right back.
152
00:06:36,000 --> 00:06:37,130
Come on.
153
00:06:37,959 --> 00:06:39,079
Help a future brother.
154
00:06:40,750 --> 00:06:43,880
Well, I guess I can distract her
for a minute. It'll be tough, though.
155
00:06:43,959 --> 00:06:47,209
Since she was made chief of security,
she takes her job very seriously.
156
00:06:47,291 --> 00:06:50,041
I call this pose "The Naughty Kitten."
157
00:06:51,083 --> 00:06:52,673
(meows, hisses)
158
00:06:52,750 --> 00:06:53,790
Bad kitty!
159
00:06:55,041 --> 00:06:56,001
I'll see what I can do.
160
00:06:59,250 --> 00:07:01,330
(crowd cheering)
161
00:07:02,500 --> 00:07:03,580
- (screams)
- (thuds)
162
00:07:04,291 --> 00:07:07,171
Oh! Granny down!
163
00:07:08,500 --> 00:07:10,080
- Thanks for trying, Nana.
- Whoo!
164
00:07:13,458 --> 00:07:14,288
Jack.
165
00:07:14,709 --> 00:07:16,249
Jack, you gotta win this bike for me, man.
166
00:07:16,667 --> 00:07:18,957
Oh, help me, Jack. You're my only hope.
167
00:07:20,125 --> 00:07:23,075
I'd like to help you, Jerry, but I can't
miss my birthday FaceTalk with Kim,
168
00:07:23,166 --> 00:07:25,036
or I won't be able to talk to her
for another month.
169
00:07:25,125 --> 00:07:26,825
Well, you at least gotta try.
170
00:07:27,750 --> 00:07:28,630
Give me your phone.
171
00:07:28,709 --> 00:07:31,129
If she calls you, I'll let you know
and you can just hop off the bike.
172
00:07:32,667 --> 00:07:34,247
- Fine.
- Oh! You're the man!
173
00:07:34,583 --> 00:07:36,423
(crowd cheering)
174
00:07:39,458 --> 00:07:42,128
Awesome! You start at the desert!
175
00:07:42,667 --> 00:07:44,497
- (engine revving)
- This isn't so bad.
176
00:07:44,917 --> 00:07:47,537
Uh-oh, looks like trouble.
177
00:07:47,834 --> 00:07:51,044
There's some kind of storm brewing.
But what kind is it?
178
00:07:53,125 --> 00:07:56,285
- (engine revving)
- (spitting)
179
00:08:00,583 --> 00:08:02,833
I'm gonna go with sandstorm! Yeah!
180
00:08:03,125 --> 00:08:05,495
(phone rings)
181
00:08:12,625 --> 00:08:13,665
You got this, Jack!
182
00:08:14,083 --> 00:08:14,963
Whoo!
183
00:08:15,041 --> 00:08:17,921
Road's about to get bumpy!
Hang on there, Jack!
184
00:08:18,750 --> 00:08:21,080
(rattling)
185
00:08:25,709 --> 00:08:26,749
Hey, Joan.
186
00:08:27,166 --> 00:08:28,286
To celebrate your new job,
187
00:08:28,417 --> 00:08:31,287
I got you a little something
from the stud muffin bakery.
188
00:08:31,375 --> 00:08:32,415
Oh!
189
00:08:33,125 --> 00:08:36,745
Whoo-wee! That's a good-looking muffin!
190
00:08:37,458 --> 00:08:39,248
Oh, and he brought snacks.
(chuckles)
191
00:08:41,333 --> 00:08:42,423
- (clicks)
- Well,
192
00:08:42,542 --> 00:08:46,502
let's give your pumpkin muffin
a little nibble, shall we... Carl?
193
00:08:46,583 --> 00:08:47,673
(chuckles)
194
00:08:49,250 --> 00:08:50,540
(gagging)
195
00:08:52,000 --> 00:08:54,040
Cute guys, terrible muffins.
196
00:08:54,291 --> 00:08:55,251
Oh!
197
00:08:55,333 --> 00:08:57,253
Oh, dear! Oh, okay, well!
198
00:08:57,333 --> 00:09:02,543
Look who's dropping by for another
surprise inspection, the mall manager.
199
00:09:02,625 --> 00:09:03,825
(clicking tongue)
200
00:09:05,709 --> 00:09:09,379
Well, don't you worry, I have had
the lightsaber under video surveillance
201
00:09:09,458 --> 00:09:13,378
the whole time, and never
have I taken these eyes off...
202
00:09:13,667 --> 00:09:15,077
Holy Hannah!
203
00:09:15,709 --> 00:09:16,919
Both: It's gone!
204
00:09:20,500 --> 00:09:22,630
(upbeat music)
205
00:09:23,458 --> 00:09:27,628
(mimics lightsaber sounds)
206
00:09:31,625 --> 00:09:32,495
You!
207
00:09:32,583 --> 00:09:34,293
You stole the lightsaber!
208
00:09:34,375 --> 00:09:35,745
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
209
00:09:36,083 --> 00:09:38,423
Nobody addresses our president
without first greeting him
210
00:09:38,500 --> 00:09:39,710
with the secret handshake.
211
00:09:39,792 --> 00:09:40,792
(sighs)
212
00:09:43,250 --> 00:09:44,170
(both babbling)
213
00:09:44,291 --> 00:09:45,171
You!
214
00:09:45,250 --> 00:09:47,790
You stole the lightsaber! You used me!
215
00:09:47,959 --> 00:09:50,289
No, you helped me.
216
00:09:50,583 --> 00:09:51,923
That's what brothers do.
217
00:09:52,000 --> 00:09:54,960
Every president of the Skull and Bones
has to steal a valuable trophy
218
00:09:55,041 --> 00:09:56,291
for the legacy room in this house.
219
00:09:56,875 --> 00:09:57,785
The legacy room?
220
00:09:57,875 --> 00:10:00,625
It's a hidden chamber that contains
awesome, one-of-a-kind collectibles.
221
00:10:00,875 --> 00:10:03,825
It's also a cool place to go if
you need to do something in private.
222
00:10:03,917 --> 00:10:06,287
You know, like cry, rip one, crochet--
223
00:10:06,375 --> 00:10:07,245
JP!
224
00:10:09,375 --> 00:10:11,875
The only trophy we don't keep in there
is our Muhammad Ali alarm clock.
225
00:10:12,291 --> 00:10:13,711
Muhammad Ali's alarm clock?
226
00:10:13,792 --> 00:10:15,002
- (clock chimes)
- (thumps)
227
00:10:16,166 --> 00:10:17,206
(thuds)
228
00:10:19,083 --> 00:10:21,423
So, you stole the lightsaber
to put in the legacy room?
229
00:10:21,750 --> 00:10:22,670
I did.
230
00:10:22,750 --> 00:10:27,500
But that was before I found a buyer
that'll give me $20,000 dollars for it.
231
00:10:27,583 --> 00:10:31,043
And with the money, I'm flying
us all to Cancun on spring break.
232
00:10:31,125 --> 00:10:34,125
Spring break! Ooh!
233
00:10:35,709 --> 00:10:38,169
I'm not going to Cancun.
I'm going to the police.
234
00:10:38,542 --> 00:10:40,002
You got my friend Joan in trouble.
235
00:10:40,291 --> 00:10:42,671
Okay, Milton. You go to the police,
236
00:10:42,750 --> 00:10:46,580
and you tell them that you're the one
who turned off the security system.
237
00:10:48,250 --> 00:10:49,380
Or...
(snaps)
238
00:10:54,583 --> 00:10:58,173
This Skull and Bones ring
is a symbol of brotherhood.
239
00:10:58,667 --> 00:11:02,077
You put this ring on, and my
dad will get you into Oxbridge
240
00:11:02,166 --> 00:11:03,666
and your future will be set.
241
00:11:05,041 --> 00:11:06,461
- What do you say?
- I do.
242
00:11:07,792 --> 00:11:09,832
(upbeat music)
243
00:11:11,959 --> 00:11:14,289
- (engine revving)
- (wind whooshing)
244
00:11:18,792 --> 00:11:20,132
(bell chimes)
245
00:11:20,458 --> 00:11:22,078
Just one more mile and we win the bike.
246
00:11:22,166 --> 00:11:24,786
I thought you told me this
contest was impossible to win!
247
00:11:25,125 --> 00:11:28,075
I'm not giving away that bike!
Let's hit him with the tornado!
248
00:11:28,333 --> 00:11:29,753
- (engine revving)
- (wind rumbling)
249
00:11:29,834 --> 00:11:30,794
Whoa!
250
00:11:34,166 --> 00:11:36,536
- I can't hold on!
- No, you got this, Jack!
251
00:11:37,083 --> 00:11:38,923
(crowd cheering)
252
00:11:41,041 --> 00:11:42,831
Use the force, Jack.
253
00:11:45,250 --> 00:11:47,420
- But it's impossible!
- I said use it!
254
00:11:47,500 --> 00:11:49,330
(engine revving)
255
00:11:51,375 --> 00:11:53,495
(crowd cheering)
256
00:11:53,583 --> 00:11:55,583
(dramatic music)
257
00:11:58,709 --> 00:12:00,289
(crowd cheering)
258
00:12:00,375 --> 00:12:02,035
- Yes!
- Oh!
259
00:12:06,083 --> 00:12:08,173
(bell dings, alarm blares)
260
00:12:09,458 --> 00:12:10,828
(cheering)
261
00:12:12,625 --> 00:12:14,745
- We won!
- Yes!
262
00:12:15,834 --> 00:12:18,384
Looks like we have a winner.
I couldn't be happier.
263
00:12:20,583 --> 00:12:21,963
- (keys jangle)
- Thank you.
264
00:12:22,500 --> 00:12:24,580
Dude, dude, we won! Bro!
265
00:12:24,959 --> 00:12:26,919
Dude, that was incredible.
How did you do that?
266
00:12:27,959 --> 00:12:29,419
You're not going to believe this, but...
267
00:12:29,792 --> 00:12:30,882
I think it was...
268
00:12:31,333 --> 00:12:32,463
The force.
269
00:12:33,208 --> 00:12:35,498
All right, people, new rule, okay?
270
00:12:35,583 --> 00:12:37,753
From now on, no one can use The Force.
271
00:12:44,667 --> 00:12:45,917
Are you kidding me?
272
00:12:46,000 --> 00:12:48,420
Kim called 15 times
and you didn't tell me?
273
00:12:49,583 --> 00:12:50,673
You seemed busy.
274
00:12:51,792 --> 00:12:53,962
"Guess you can't talk.
Maybe next month. Going to bed."
275
00:12:55,208 --> 00:12:57,248
Jerry, you knew how important
this call was to me.
276
00:12:58,542 --> 00:12:59,632
I thought you were my friend.
277
00:12:59,792 --> 00:13:01,212
Whoa, whoa, Jack, wait!
278
00:13:02,709 --> 00:13:04,829
Look, I can't let you walk away like this.
279
00:13:07,291 --> 00:13:08,711
You have the keys to my bike.
280
00:13:12,125 --> 00:13:14,205
(upbeat music)
281
00:13:20,959 --> 00:13:22,419
Milton, you gotta help me, man.
282
00:13:22,500 --> 00:13:23,630
Joan was fired.
283
00:13:24,000 --> 00:13:25,040
What?
284
00:13:25,125 --> 00:13:26,285
Joan was fired?
285
00:13:26,375 --> 00:13:29,205
Yeah, and she can't pay her rent,
so she moved in here with her cat.
286
00:13:30,083 --> 00:13:34,673
(yowling)
287
00:13:35,250 --> 00:13:37,290
- That's a loud cat.
- That was Joan.
288
00:13:38,917 --> 00:13:41,247
(Joan wailing, sobbing)
289
00:13:44,625 --> 00:13:45,875
(blows nose loudly)
290
00:13:51,834 --> 00:13:53,964
- What are you gonna do?
- I don't know.
291
00:13:54,333 --> 00:13:56,133
My boss took away my badge.
292
00:13:56,792 --> 00:13:58,462
She took away my taser!
293
00:13:58,542 --> 00:14:00,042
(sobbing)
294
00:14:00,375 --> 00:14:02,825
But you know what I hated losing the most?
295
00:14:03,834 --> 00:14:05,004
Your dignity?
296
00:14:06,166 --> 00:14:08,166
My utility belt.
297
00:14:10,458 --> 00:14:13,128
Without it I'm just some sad woman
298
00:14:13,208 --> 00:14:17,038
walking around with ranch
dressing in her pants.
299
00:14:17,125 --> 00:14:19,625
(sobbing)
300
00:14:25,333 --> 00:14:27,333
Since I made you miss your birthday
FaceTalk with Kim,
301
00:14:27,750 --> 00:14:29,420
I got her sensei to make
an exception and I...
302
00:14:30,166 --> 00:14:31,246
set up another one.
303
00:14:32,500 --> 00:14:33,420
Really?
304
00:14:36,083 --> 00:14:37,003
Kim?
305
00:14:37,083 --> 00:14:38,133
Kim: Jack, are you there?
306
00:14:38,208 --> 00:14:40,038
Kim, I can hear you, but I can't see you.
307
00:14:40,125 --> 00:14:41,495
(keys clacking)
308
00:14:41,583 --> 00:14:42,673
What is up with your computer?
309
00:14:43,625 --> 00:14:44,495
Is that better?
310
00:14:45,625 --> 00:14:47,245
Kim! Kim, what...
311
00:14:47,750 --> 00:14:49,790
- You're here!
- (giggles)
312
00:14:50,041 --> 00:14:51,131
How are you here?
313
00:14:51,500 --> 00:14:54,670
Jerry sold his motorcycle and bought me
a round-trip ticket from Japan.
314
00:14:54,750 --> 00:14:55,710
(giggles)
315
00:14:56,500 --> 00:14:57,580
You're my friend, Jack.
316
00:14:58,500 --> 00:14:59,630
And what I did was wrong.
317
00:15:02,583 --> 00:15:03,793
Well, you made up for it, Jerry.
318
00:15:07,041 --> 00:15:09,131
(upbeat music)
319
00:15:10,792 --> 00:15:14,042
Well, guys, I just met with Tom's dad.
And it's official.
320
00:15:14,125 --> 00:15:16,825
After I graduate high school,
I'll be accepted to Oxbridge.
321
00:15:16,917 --> 00:15:18,167
Yeah!
322
00:15:18,250 --> 00:15:19,580
(phone rings)
323
00:15:21,166 --> 00:15:22,036
Hello?
324
00:15:22,458 --> 00:15:24,078
Oh, you're pulling up now?
325
00:15:24,166 --> 00:15:25,376
You're early.
326
00:15:25,458 --> 00:15:26,998
Oh, no, no, no, that's fine. That's fine.
327
00:15:28,125 --> 00:15:29,825
That's the buyer.
He's here for the lightsaber.
328
00:15:29,917 --> 00:15:33,457
This guy is the biggest "Star Wars"
memorabilia collector in the world,
329
00:15:33,542 --> 00:15:35,042
and nobody knows his identity.
330
00:15:35,125 --> 00:15:36,915
How does he keep his identity a secret?
331
00:15:37,625 --> 00:15:39,705
(breathing heavily)
332
00:15:42,083 --> 00:15:44,003
(distorted voice)
Darth Vader: Let's make this fast.
333
00:15:44,083 --> 00:15:45,503
Yes, sir, I know you're a busy man.
334
00:15:45,583 --> 00:15:48,293
Darth Vader: No, I had
a large Mexican breakfast
335
00:15:48,375 --> 00:15:50,285
and it's a living nightmare in here.
336
00:15:59,917 --> 00:16:01,287
Hair, freeze-bags!
337
00:16:02,375 --> 00:16:03,955
I mean, freeze, hair-bags!
338
00:16:05,125 --> 00:16:06,035
Darth Vader: It's a trap!
339
00:16:06,125 --> 00:16:07,705
To the death star! I mean,
340
00:16:07,792 --> 00:16:08,792
my mini-van.
341
00:16:09,166 --> 00:16:11,126
Hey, you're not going anywhere, wheezy.
342
00:16:12,083 --> 00:16:13,213
Joan, what are you doing here?
343
00:16:13,667 --> 00:16:15,787
Oh, you think you're so smart.
344
00:16:15,875 --> 00:16:19,705
You shut off my security cameras,
but you forgot about Phil's.
345
00:16:20,959 --> 00:16:22,129
Gah!
346
00:16:22,208 --> 00:16:23,418
Guys, I'm sorry.
347
00:16:23,500 --> 00:16:26,790
And when the cops see the footage
on this flash drive,
348
00:16:26,875 --> 00:16:28,825
you all are going to jail!
349
00:16:29,333 --> 00:16:30,503
No, no, we can't go to jail!
350
00:16:30,583 --> 00:16:32,633
Our tickets to Cancun are non-refundable!
351
00:16:35,041 --> 00:16:36,291
Tom, I have an idea.
352
00:16:36,375 --> 00:16:38,535
She doesn't make much money.
I think I got a way out of this.
353
00:16:38,625 --> 00:16:40,125
- Just do whatever it takes, man.
- Okay.
354
00:16:40,875 --> 00:16:41,825
Uh, Joan.
355
00:16:42,333 --> 00:16:44,833
How about $20,000
and we forget this whole thing?
356
00:16:45,583 --> 00:16:48,293
Are you trying to bribe me for $20,000?
357
00:16:49,375 --> 00:16:51,955
I have dedicated my life
to upholding the law.
358
00:16:53,291 --> 00:16:54,291
What about 25,000?
359
00:16:54,417 --> 00:16:55,247
I'm in.
360
00:16:56,834 --> 00:16:58,834
Tom, we don't have another $5,000.
361
00:16:58,917 --> 00:17:00,167
Yes, we do.
362
00:17:03,875 --> 00:17:05,165
(beeping)
363
00:17:07,166 --> 00:17:08,416
Pick something out.
364
00:17:10,792 --> 00:17:13,712
This room is full of things the Skull
and Bones have stolen over the years.
365
00:17:14,542 --> 00:17:16,502
Did you hear all that, president McIntyre?
366
00:17:17,917 --> 00:17:20,327
I certainly did. Nice work, Milton.
367
00:17:20,834 --> 00:17:21,754
What's going on?
368
00:17:21,834 --> 00:17:24,384
What's going on is you just got hustled.
369
00:17:24,750 --> 00:17:27,040
That's not the buyer.
That's my sensei, Rudy.
370
00:17:27,750 --> 00:17:29,040
(exhales deeply)
371
00:17:29,375 --> 00:17:31,415
Oh, I'm like a Dutch oven with a cape.
372
00:17:33,959 --> 00:17:35,169
And this flash drive?
373
00:17:36,083 --> 00:17:37,213
Nothing on it.
374
00:17:37,291 --> 00:17:40,881
As president of the university,
I'm banning the Skull and Bones fraternity
375
00:17:40,959 --> 00:17:42,539
from the Oxbridge campus forever,
376
00:17:43,208 --> 00:17:45,668
and returning all of this stuff
to their rightful owners.
377
00:17:45,875 --> 00:17:49,035
Hmm, looks like
you boys are going to jail.
378
00:17:49,625 --> 00:17:51,575
Oh, please tell me that jail is in Cancun.
379
00:17:55,458 --> 00:17:57,458
(upbeat music)
380
00:18:02,083 --> 00:18:02,963
Rudy,
381
00:18:03,041 --> 00:18:05,081
you've had that lightsaber
for ten minutes.
382
00:18:05,166 --> 00:18:06,376
Let someone else hold it!
383
00:18:07,750 --> 00:18:10,880
A powerful Jedi like me can never
be separated from his lightsaber...
384
00:18:10,959 --> 00:18:11,829
Aah! Ow, ow!
385
00:18:11,917 --> 00:18:12,827
Take it, take it!
386
00:18:16,000 --> 00:18:17,580
(In English accent)
Milton: Sorry, I'm late,
387
00:18:17,667 --> 00:18:20,957
I had to escape imperial forces
that had me trapped in quadrant seven.
388
00:18:21,291 --> 00:18:23,921
Is that code for some bullies locked
you in the dumpster behind the alley?
389
00:18:25,375 --> 00:18:26,825
Milton: Affirmative, master Jerry.
390
00:18:28,667 --> 00:18:29,537
I gotta get going.
391
00:18:29,917 --> 00:18:31,037
It was good seeing you guys.
392
00:18:31,333 --> 00:18:32,543
- You too.
- We'll miss you.
393
00:18:32,625 --> 00:18:33,575
Next time bring gifts.
394
00:18:39,333 --> 00:18:40,673
Can't you stay one more day?
395
00:18:41,625 --> 00:18:43,705
I'm sorry, Jack. You know how it is.
396
00:18:45,041 --> 00:18:46,171
Hey.
397
00:18:47,375 --> 00:18:49,125
Even though we're like 6,000 miles away,
398
00:18:50,417 --> 00:18:51,707
I never stop thinking about you.
399
00:18:53,291 --> 00:18:54,631
I feel the same way.
400
00:19:01,959 --> 00:19:03,579
Yo, Rudy, can you teach
me to use the force?
401
00:19:04,291 --> 00:19:05,171
So, I can win more stuff?
402
00:19:05,250 --> 00:19:06,290
(chuckles)
403
00:19:06,375 --> 00:19:08,035
The force isn't for winning stuff.
404
00:19:08,166 --> 00:19:09,326
It's a...
405
00:19:09,625 --> 00:19:13,575
a spiritual power you feel deep inside you
when you've got something to fight for.
406
00:19:16,000 --> 00:19:17,420
(dramatic music)
407
00:19:17,500 --> 00:19:18,460
(lasers whooshing)
408
00:19:18,542 --> 00:19:20,292
Kim: I'm sorry, I couldn't stop them.
409
00:19:20,792 --> 00:19:22,252
Jack: Just hang on, I'm coming for you.
410
00:19:22,333 --> 00:19:24,083
- Kim: They're too strong.
- Jack: No.
411
00:19:24,166 --> 00:19:25,376
Not if we're together.
412
00:19:25,834 --> 00:19:27,794
Kim: But we're not. It's too late.
413
00:19:28,834 --> 00:19:31,174
- Forget about me, Jack.
- (spaceship engine roaring)
414
00:19:31,291 --> 00:19:32,171
No!
415
00:19:32,250 --> 00:19:33,380
- (grunts)
- (rumbling)
416
00:19:35,375 --> 00:19:36,915
- (warbling)
- (grunts)
417
00:19:37,250 --> 00:19:38,420
(explosion)
418
00:19:39,792 --> 00:19:41,382
(whooshing)
419
00:19:42,875 --> 00:19:44,875
(tense music)
420
00:19:51,792 --> 00:19:53,832
(tense music continues)
421
00:19:57,542 --> 00:19:58,752
Stormtrooper 1: Drop your weapon!
422
00:19:59,291 --> 00:20:00,501
(zaps)
423
00:20:00,583 --> 00:20:01,923
(rapid gunfire)
424
00:20:06,792 --> 00:20:08,962
- (zapping)
- (yelling, grunting)
425
00:20:10,709 --> 00:20:12,329
- Stormtrooper 2: Aah! Uh!
- (thuds)
426
00:20:16,166 --> 00:20:17,916
Stormtrooper 3: Give it up!
You'll never save her!
427
00:20:18,583 --> 00:20:20,543
- (zaps)
- (grunting)
428
00:20:26,834 --> 00:20:29,464
(spaceship approaching)
429
00:20:37,041 --> 00:20:38,381
(rumbling)
430
00:20:43,166 --> 00:20:44,036
(growls)
431
00:20:44,125 --> 00:20:45,535
Where is she?
432
00:20:46,208 --> 00:20:49,958
Sith: Join us, and I will take you to her.
433
00:20:50,542 --> 00:20:51,632
Never.
434
00:20:53,333 --> 00:20:55,543
Then suffer the consequences.
435
00:20:56,166 --> 00:20:57,706
(crackles)
436
00:20:57,792 --> 00:21:00,832
(both groaning)
437
00:21:01,792 --> 00:21:02,882
Aah!
438
00:21:03,625 --> 00:21:05,625
(tense music)
439
00:21:07,291 --> 00:21:09,881
(grunting)
440
00:21:24,875 --> 00:21:26,075
Sith: This is pointless.
441
00:21:26,458 --> 00:21:28,538
She's already one of us.
442
00:21:29,000 --> 00:21:30,210
Liar!
443
00:21:30,333 --> 00:21:31,333
(grunts)
444
00:21:35,750 --> 00:21:38,710
- (grunting)
- (zapping)
445
00:22:08,375 --> 00:22:09,625
Jack: I'm coming for you.
446
00:22:16,000 --> 00:22:17,210
Jack! Jack,
447
00:22:17,291 --> 00:22:18,581
my flight just got cancelled!
448
00:22:18,667 --> 00:22:19,787
I don't leave until tomorrow!
449
00:22:21,709 --> 00:22:22,919
(Kim giggles)
450
00:22:26,792 --> 00:22:27,882
Milton: Oh, my!
451
00:22:29,250 --> 00:22:30,130
Whoa!
452
00:22:30,208 --> 00:22:31,458
(thuds)
453
00:22:33,041 --> 00:22:35,041
(closing theme music)
454
00:22:57,291 --> 00:22:58,171
Man: Poor soul.
455
00:22:58,250 --> 00:22:59,130
(dog snarls, barks)
456
00:23:02,000 --> 00:23:02,880
Boy: Yes!
32392
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