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1
00:00:05,917 --> 00:00:06,747
Well!
2
00:00:07,208 --> 00:00:10,328
Bobby's got a pretty good turnout
for his new movie, Super Samurai .
3
00:00:10,875 --> 00:00:11,785
Hey, what's it about?
4
00:00:11,875 --> 00:00:13,665
Oh, it's the epic story of a man
5
00:00:13,750 --> 00:00:17,130
who has to choose between making soup
or becoming a samurai.
6
00:00:20,417 --> 00:00:21,787
Hey, where's Jerry and Milton?
7
00:00:21,875 --> 00:00:24,285
They said they were going to try
and get dates and then meet us here.
8
00:00:26,250 --> 00:00:27,920
Oh, I can't believe it.
9
00:00:28,000 --> 00:00:30,500
Milton got a date. You know, good for him.
10
00:00:30,917 --> 00:00:32,827
Guys, this is my date, Veronica.
11
00:00:32,917 --> 00:00:35,287
And this is Jerry's other date, Carol.
12
00:00:36,583 --> 00:00:37,923
You know, the star of this movie,
13
00:00:38,000 --> 00:00:40,420
Bobby Wasabi is a close,
personal friend of mine.
14
00:00:42,250 --> 00:00:44,250
Aww, Milton,
you couldn't get a date again?
15
00:00:44,333 --> 00:00:46,043
No. No, I could not.
16
00:00:46,166 --> 00:00:48,246
Well, look, Milton, I mean, you're smart,
17
00:00:48,333 --> 00:00:50,253
and, you know,
I'm sure you can get any girl you want.
18
00:00:51,083 --> 00:00:52,173
Thanks, Kim.
19
00:00:53,333 --> 00:00:56,463
Hey, do you guys think
I can get a girl like that over there?
20
00:00:58,000 --> 00:00:59,460
- Uh...
- Um...
21
00:00:59,542 --> 00:01:02,382
- You know...
- No, that girl's like a thoroughbred.
22
00:01:02,458 --> 00:01:05,288
You should really start with one
of those safe little petting zoo ponies.
23
00:01:05,375 --> 00:01:06,245
You know?
24
00:01:06,875 --> 00:01:07,915
Really?
25
00:01:08,000 --> 00:01:10,460
Well, I'll show you
who can get a thoroughbred.
26
00:01:15,917 --> 00:01:16,917
Psst!
27
00:01:17,750 --> 00:01:19,000
Kim, Jack, Rudy!
28
00:01:19,083 --> 00:01:20,333
It's me, Bobby.
29
00:01:21,291 --> 00:01:22,421
Bobby Wasabi.
30
00:01:23,583 --> 00:01:26,383
I'm wearing these sunglasses,
so no one knows it's me.
31
00:01:26,500 --> 00:01:27,630
Bobby wasabi.
32
00:01:29,041 --> 00:01:29,961
Smart.
33
00:01:30,709 --> 00:01:31,749
I'm so excited.
34
00:01:32,250 --> 00:01:36,830
This movie is gonna make me a star
of the action world once again.
35
00:01:36,917 --> 00:01:40,417
(chuckles)
Much bigger than that hack Chet Stone.
36
00:01:43,667 --> 00:01:45,127
Now, prepare yourselves
37
00:01:45,208 --> 00:01:47,918
for the best movie you have ever seen!
38
00:01:48,000 --> 00:01:50,130
(laughs)
39
00:01:50,208 --> 00:01:52,878
That was the worst movie I have ever seen!
40
00:01:52,959 --> 00:01:54,039
- Awful.
- Horrible.
41
00:01:54,583 --> 00:01:55,503
Oh, come on.
42
00:01:55,583 --> 00:01:57,543
No, are you serious?
I barely know the guy.
43
00:02:01,166 --> 00:02:02,746
Hey, how'd you like the movie, Milton?
44
00:02:04,000 --> 00:02:06,170
Giddy up, Jack.
(clicks tongue)
45
00:02:08,166 --> 00:02:10,706
All right, well,
there were a few rough spots,
46
00:02:10,792 --> 00:02:12,922
but it wasn't that bad, right?
47
00:02:13,000 --> 00:02:13,960
(quiet murmuring)
48
00:02:18,959 --> 00:02:20,829
Your movie was awful!
49
00:02:20,917 --> 00:02:23,877
You ruined both soup and samurais for me.
50
00:02:23,959 --> 00:02:25,459
- (grunts)
- (groans)
51
00:02:26,166 --> 00:02:27,326
Don't be like that.
52
00:02:27,417 --> 00:02:30,167
Please, come back, mother!
53
00:02:30,875 --> 00:02:32,875
(theme music)
54
00:02:32,959 --> 00:02:36,039
♪ Don't you get all tough with me ♪
55
00:02:36,125 --> 00:02:39,995
♪ I'm saying won't you
Come kick it with me? ♪
56
00:02:40,083 --> 00:02:42,583
♪ And we could have a ball
Run up the wall ♪
57
00:02:42,667 --> 00:02:44,287
♪ That's just how we do ♪
58
00:02:44,375 --> 00:02:46,535
♪ And no matter how much
I chop and punch ♪
59
00:02:46,625 --> 00:02:49,375
♪ It's not as cool
As kickin' it with you ♪
60
00:02:49,500 --> 00:02:51,380
♪ Here we go, let's start the party ♪
61
00:02:51,458 --> 00:02:53,128
♪ Chop it up like it's karate ♪
62
00:02:53,208 --> 00:02:54,458
♪ Everybody ♪
63
00:02:54,542 --> 00:02:57,962
♪ Don't you get all tough with me ♪
64
00:02:58,041 --> 00:03:01,961
♪ I'm saying won't you
Come kick it with me? ♪
65
00:03:02,041 --> 00:03:04,631
♪ And we could have a ball
Run up the wall ♪
66
00:03:04,709 --> 00:03:06,329
♪ That's just how we do ♪
67
00:03:06,417 --> 00:03:08,417
♪ And no matter how much
I chop and punch ♪
68
00:03:08,500 --> 00:03:11,420
♪ It's not as cool
As kickin' it with you ♪
69
00:03:16,291 --> 00:03:17,461
Hey, check this one out.
70
00:03:17,542 --> 00:03:21,422
"Wasabi flounced around the screen
like a bloated sausage."
71
00:03:22,125 --> 00:03:24,035
Wow, what a horrible review.
72
00:03:24,125 --> 00:03:25,705
That's the good one.
73
00:03:25,792 --> 00:03:27,422
Yeah. How could Bobby think
74
00:03:27,500 --> 00:03:29,170
that this movie was gonna be
a big success?
75
00:03:29,291 --> 00:03:31,751
Yeah, in the middle of the climactic fight
with the evil overlord,
76
00:03:31,834 --> 00:03:33,084
he said...
(panting)
77
00:03:33,375 --> 00:03:34,665
"hey, can we take a five-minute break?"
78
00:03:34,750 --> 00:03:36,330
And then he took a five-minute break.
79
00:03:38,750 --> 00:03:39,920
Hey, what is Rudy doing?
80
00:03:40,000 --> 00:03:42,670
He's worried that the bad publicity
from the movie will affect the dojo.
81
00:03:42,750 --> 00:03:44,330
He said he was going to do something
about it.
82
00:03:44,417 --> 00:03:46,417
(whirring loudly)
83
00:03:47,375 --> 00:03:48,205
(sighs sharply)
84
00:03:48,709 --> 00:03:51,499
Say hello to the By Bi dojo.
85
00:03:53,083 --> 00:03:54,503
(cellphone rings)
86
00:03:57,125 --> 00:03:58,455
Hello, by bi.
87
00:03:58,542 --> 00:03:59,792
(dial tone)
88
00:04:00,417 --> 00:04:01,917
Huh, that's weird.
89
00:04:03,583 --> 00:04:04,673
(cellphone rings)
90
00:04:05,083 --> 00:04:06,463
Hello, By Bi.
91
00:04:06,542 --> 00:04:08,632
(dial tone)
92
00:04:08,709 --> 00:04:10,129
Why do people keep hanging up?
93
00:04:11,291 --> 00:04:12,961
I'll see you guys later.
I'm gonna go train.
94
00:04:15,542 --> 00:04:16,462
Hey, guys.
95
00:04:17,000 --> 00:04:18,790
Heidi, these are my friends.
96
00:04:18,875 --> 00:04:22,575
Kim and Jerry.
This is my new girlfriend, Heidi.
97
00:04:22,667 --> 00:04:23,877
Hi, Kim. Hi, Jerry.
98
00:04:23,959 --> 00:04:25,379
It's really nice to meet you.
99
00:04:28,709 --> 00:04:30,879
We're about to go on our second date
to the planetarium.
100
00:04:31,333 --> 00:04:33,383
Is it "bring a nerd, get in free" night?
101
00:04:33,667 --> 00:04:35,917
(chuckles)
Oh, you're funny, Jerry.
102
00:04:36,000 --> 00:04:37,040
(laughs)
103
00:04:38,250 --> 00:04:40,170
I'll be right back.
I'm gonna go grab my Jacket.
104
00:04:44,458 --> 00:04:46,038
So...
(chuckles)
105
00:04:47,041 --> 00:04:48,171
You and Milton?
106
00:04:48,667 --> 00:04:49,917
(sighs)
Yeah.
107
00:04:50,000 --> 00:04:51,040
I think he's great.
108
00:04:51,125 --> 00:04:52,205
He's so smart.
109
00:04:53,250 --> 00:04:54,290
Milton.
110
00:04:57,208 --> 00:04:58,128
And you?
111
00:04:59,417 --> 00:05:01,787
You don't think I'm good enough
for your friend?
112
00:05:02,750 --> 00:05:06,080
If you do anything
to come between me and my man,
113
00:05:06,166 --> 00:05:08,746
I will eat you alive!
114
00:05:15,917 --> 00:05:17,417
Okay, all set.
115
00:05:17,500 --> 00:05:19,710
Really nice to meet you, guys.
116
00:05:19,792 --> 00:05:20,832
I love your friends.
117
00:05:20,917 --> 00:05:21,877
(laughs)
118
00:05:27,208 --> 00:05:29,418
♪ And no matter how much
I chop and punch ♪
119
00:05:29,500 --> 00:05:32,080
♪ It's not as cool
As kickin' it with you ♪
120
00:05:32,166 --> 00:05:34,166
Oh, come on. Come on.
121
00:05:35,208 --> 00:05:37,918
(stuttering)
Jack, this is bad. This is very, very bad.
122
00:05:38,000 --> 00:05:40,500
Now that Bobby's a joke,
this dojo's become a joke.
123
00:05:40,583 --> 00:05:41,833
I've lost six students.
124
00:05:42,208 --> 00:05:43,378
Seven students.
125
00:05:43,709 --> 00:05:44,879
Eight students!
126
00:05:45,125 --> 00:05:46,205
No. No, no, no.
127
00:05:50,041 --> 00:05:52,331
You wouldn't even know that move
if it wasn't for me!
128
00:05:53,333 --> 00:05:55,503
Wow, man. Things are looking pretty bleak.
129
00:05:55,583 --> 00:05:58,213
Bleak? Things couldn't possibly get worse.
130
00:05:58,291 --> 00:05:59,791
I'm moving in!
131
00:06:00,792 --> 00:06:02,042
Things just got worse.
132
00:06:02,959 --> 00:06:04,169
Bobby, you can't move in here.
133
00:06:04,250 --> 00:06:06,830
Well, it's either this
or I move into your apartment.
134
00:06:07,208 --> 00:06:08,458
Welcome home!
135
00:06:09,542 --> 00:06:11,082
Bobby, what happened to your mansion?
136
00:06:11,417 --> 00:06:12,327
It's gone.
137
00:06:12,417 --> 00:06:13,707
All gone!
138
00:06:13,792 --> 00:06:16,212
I put everything I had into this movie.
139
00:06:16,333 --> 00:06:18,213
What was supposed to be my big comeback
140
00:06:18,291 --> 00:06:20,041
turned into my big "go away"!
141
00:06:23,542 --> 00:06:26,042
You'll hardly even know I'm here.
142
00:06:26,125 --> 00:06:28,705
(clanging, clinking)
143
00:06:29,041 --> 00:06:32,421
Oh! And you should know
I put my elephant up on the roof.
144
00:06:32,500 --> 00:06:34,210
(elephant trumpets)
145
00:06:34,250 --> 00:06:35,750
(glass shatters)
146
00:06:35,834 --> 00:06:37,754
(loud roar, grunt)
147
00:06:39,041 --> 00:06:41,131
I put my elephant in your office.
148
00:06:46,333 --> 00:06:48,383
Look, we have to tell Milton
about his girlfriend.
149
00:06:48,458 --> 00:06:49,628
You're totally right.
150
00:06:49,709 --> 00:06:51,039
I mean, I'd wanna know. Wouldn't you?
151
00:06:51,333 --> 00:06:53,383
And as his friends,
we need to tell him the truth.
152
00:06:53,458 --> 00:06:55,168
- So we're in this together?
- Absolutely.
153
00:06:56,417 --> 00:06:58,287
Kim has something to tell you
about your girlfriend.
154
00:06:59,375 --> 00:07:01,375
Oh, Heidi? She's great, isn't she?
155
00:07:02,333 --> 00:07:05,003
Yeah, well, you know.
She's great in a way.
156
00:07:06,542 --> 00:07:09,542
You see, but the other night,
we saw a different side to her.
157
00:07:12,458 --> 00:07:14,668
And that side was...
158
00:07:16,333 --> 00:07:17,673
Well, what I'm trying to say is--
159
00:07:17,750 --> 00:07:19,210
Your girlfriend's a nut loaf, dude.
160
00:07:21,917 --> 00:07:22,957
I'm sorry?
161
00:07:23,750 --> 00:07:25,380
Look, when you went
to go grab your Jacket,
162
00:07:25,458 --> 00:07:27,828
- she kind of turned on us.
- (Jerry sighs sharply)
163
00:07:27,917 --> 00:07:29,627
- What?
- Oh, no, it's true.
164
00:07:29,750 --> 00:07:32,330
She was all,
"Oh, Milton. I love you so much!"
165
00:07:32,417 --> 00:07:34,577
And then you left, and she was all,
"I don't like you!"
166
00:07:36,583 --> 00:07:39,963
And then you came back and she was all,
"Oh, Milton. I love you so much."
167
00:07:40,041 --> 00:07:41,381
What scares Kim and I is the whole...
168
00:07:41,458 --> 00:07:43,288
(imitates Heidi)
"I'm gonna eat you" part.
169
00:07:47,083 --> 00:07:48,253
Oh...
170
00:07:49,667 --> 00:07:51,537
I see what's going on here.
171
00:07:52,041 --> 00:07:54,171
It's the old "boy meets girl,
girl likes boy,
172
00:07:54,250 --> 00:07:56,330
other girl and other boy think
that girl that likes boy
173
00:07:56,417 --> 00:07:57,827
is not girl for that boy."
174
00:07:57,917 --> 00:07:58,827
Gah!
175
00:08:01,041 --> 00:08:02,081
Wait, so was Milton the boy--
176
00:08:02,166 --> 00:08:03,126
Don't hurt yourself.
177
00:08:10,083 --> 00:08:11,793
- (man grunts)
- (glass shatters)
178
00:08:14,000 --> 00:08:16,920
This is from my third film, Karate Cowboy .
179
00:08:17,000 --> 00:08:19,380
- (horse whinnies)
- Look how young I was.
180
00:08:19,458 --> 00:08:22,378
My eyes filled with wonder and innocence.
181
00:08:22,500 --> 00:08:23,630
Bobby, that's a cow.
182
00:08:24,208 --> 00:08:26,458
- (cow moos)
- Look how young that cow was--
183
00:08:26,542 --> 00:08:28,792
Her eyes filled with wonder and innocence.
184
00:08:29,667 --> 00:08:31,917
Bobby, please, pull it together.
185
00:08:33,542 --> 00:08:34,672
- (music stops)
- Why?
186
00:08:35,500 --> 00:08:36,880
My career is over!
187
00:08:37,250 --> 00:08:39,500
I'm talking about your robe.
Pull it together!
188
00:08:40,625 --> 00:08:41,575
I'm sorry.
189
00:08:42,208 --> 00:08:43,748
I'm gonna go into the shower.
190
00:08:44,375 --> 00:08:48,165
And if you hear
what sounds like an old, washed-up,
191
00:08:48,250 --> 00:08:50,080
former action star crying...
192
00:08:50,458 --> 00:08:51,458
(whimpers)
193
00:08:51,542 --> 00:08:53,002
It's probably just the pipes.
194
00:08:53,083 --> 00:08:54,293
(sobs)
195
00:08:55,667 --> 00:08:57,537
Rudy! Rudy, I've got good news.
196
00:08:57,625 --> 00:09:00,035
Me too. Bobby's taking his first shower
in weeks.
197
00:09:01,208 --> 00:09:03,458
I forgot my box of shower chicken.
198
00:09:04,667 --> 00:09:06,377
Bobby, come here. You've gotta hear this.
199
00:09:07,375 --> 00:09:10,125
All right. "Troubled action star
Chet Stone got fired
200
00:09:10,208 --> 00:09:13,878
after another epic meltdown
on the set of The Undestroyables 4 .
201
00:09:13,959 --> 00:09:18,079
Director John Ahearn said
recasting will begin immediately."
202
00:09:18,667 --> 00:09:21,537
Bobby, if we can get you cast
in that movie,
203
00:09:21,625 --> 00:09:22,995
you'll be a big star again.
204
00:09:23,083 --> 00:09:24,173
We could save the dojo!
205
00:09:24,250 --> 00:09:26,330
People will be lining up to train here.
206
00:09:26,417 --> 00:09:27,497
And we can help you.
207
00:09:27,875 --> 00:09:29,705
Sure, you may have let yourself go
a little bit,
208
00:09:29,792 --> 00:09:33,292
but I know that just under the surface
is an action star.
209
00:09:33,375 --> 00:09:35,205
Absolutely. We just gotta dig a little.
210
00:09:35,917 --> 00:09:37,497
Don't worry about me, boys.
211
00:09:39,750 --> 00:09:41,040
I still have it.
212
00:09:41,125 --> 00:09:43,745
(grunting)
213
00:09:45,542 --> 00:09:46,542
Whoo!
214
00:09:48,125 --> 00:09:48,995
Whoo!
215
00:09:50,500 --> 00:09:51,460
Ha!
216
00:09:52,250 --> 00:09:53,130
Whoo!
217
00:09:55,041 --> 00:09:56,171
Oh, chicken.
218
00:09:59,000 --> 00:10:00,790
We might have to dig a little deeper
than I thought.
219
00:10:00,875 --> 00:10:01,705
(chuckles)
220
00:10:07,333 --> 00:10:08,383
All right, Bobby.
221
00:10:08,458 --> 00:10:10,708
You're going to be an action star again
in no time.
222
00:10:11,208 --> 00:10:13,708
We're going to test your natural instincts
as a martial artist.
223
00:10:13,792 --> 00:10:16,172
This dummy represents your opponent.
224
00:10:16,250 --> 00:10:19,080
(chuckles)
Bring it on, blue boy.
225
00:10:19,166 --> 00:10:20,626
Whoo!
226
00:10:20,709 --> 00:10:21,669
(grunting)
227
00:10:21,750 --> 00:10:23,380
(groans, thuds)
228
00:10:25,000 --> 00:10:26,330
You ready to try again?
229
00:10:26,834 --> 00:10:27,794
Let's do this.
230
00:10:28,458 --> 00:10:29,788
(grunting)
231
00:10:30,834 --> 00:10:32,964
(shouts)
Ha-ha-ha!
232
00:10:33,041 --> 00:10:34,751
(groans, thuds)
233
00:10:37,000 --> 00:10:37,920
It was better...
234
00:10:39,458 --> 00:10:40,578
Okay, Bobby, are you ready?
235
00:10:42,375 --> 00:10:43,665
I have centered my chi.
236
00:10:44,250 --> 00:10:45,790
I will feel no pain.
237
00:10:46,542 --> 00:10:48,752
(screams loudly)
238
00:10:50,458 --> 00:10:53,328
Why? Why would you do that?
239
00:10:55,000 --> 00:10:57,080
Oh, it hurts!
240
00:10:57,709 --> 00:11:00,499
(yells, wails)
241
00:11:01,709 --> 00:11:04,379
I hate you! I hate both of you!
242
00:11:05,834 --> 00:11:07,714
(screams)
243
00:11:08,458 --> 00:11:09,828
Are you ready, Bobby?
244
00:11:11,208 --> 00:11:13,078
(funk music)
245
00:11:22,125 --> 00:11:23,785
(exclaims loudly)
246
00:11:23,875 --> 00:11:25,075
(thudding)
247
00:11:28,083 --> 00:11:29,293
(grunts)
248
00:11:29,375 --> 00:11:30,285
Oh, yeah.
249
00:11:30,959 --> 00:11:31,919
I'm ready.
250
00:11:34,041 --> 00:11:35,581
Both: Bobby's back.
251
00:11:38,834 --> 00:11:40,834
(light music)
252
00:11:46,333 --> 00:11:47,333
Wow.
253
00:11:47,917 --> 00:11:51,667
I thought we were just taking the bus
across town to the library, but-- ah!
254
00:11:51,750 --> 00:11:53,210
Three hours later, and look at us.
255
00:11:53,500 --> 00:11:54,880
We're in a cabin in the woods.
256
00:11:56,125 --> 00:11:58,455
This cabin's been in our family for years.
257
00:11:58,917 --> 00:12:00,127
I love it up here.
258
00:12:00,375 --> 00:12:01,575
You know what the best part is?
259
00:12:02,083 --> 00:12:04,713
There's no one around for miles.
260
00:12:04,792 --> 00:12:05,922
(laughs)
261
00:12:06,417 --> 00:12:07,827
Oh, so it's just...
262
00:12:08,333 --> 00:12:11,383
you and me, and a whole lot of us.
263
00:12:12,166 --> 00:12:14,416
How about we sit on the couch
and hold hands?
264
00:12:15,125 --> 00:12:16,075
Oh, okay.
265
00:12:16,166 --> 00:12:17,626
Uh, where's your hand sanitizer?
266
00:12:19,166 --> 00:12:20,246
I don't have any.
267
00:12:21,375 --> 00:12:22,325
Oh.
268
00:12:23,542 --> 00:12:25,422
Mother warned me about girls like you.
269
00:12:27,208 --> 00:12:29,248
You know, Milton,
once we get married today,
270
00:12:29,333 --> 00:12:32,083
you can stock the shelves
with whatever you want.
271
00:12:32,166 --> 00:12:34,456
Ah, well, you can't go wrong
with the three F's,
272
00:12:34,542 --> 00:12:36,332
flares, floss, and fly swat.
273
00:12:36,417 --> 00:12:37,877
I'm sorry. Did you just say "married"?
274
00:12:39,250 --> 00:12:41,130
Of course, my little foodle-poodle.
275
00:12:41,208 --> 00:12:46,038
We'll be together forever, and ever,
and ever.
276
00:12:46,125 --> 00:12:48,165
But I have a root canal on Monday.
277
00:12:48,583 --> 00:12:50,503
- I can help you with that.
- Oh!
278
00:12:53,583 --> 00:12:54,423
(door closes)
279
00:12:58,458 --> 00:12:59,458
(groans)
280
00:13:00,709 --> 00:13:01,919
(grunts)
281
00:13:02,000 --> 00:13:03,290
Oh!
(whimpers)
282
00:13:05,417 --> 00:13:06,957
(screams)
283
00:13:07,458 --> 00:13:08,328
Aah!
284
00:13:12,041 --> 00:13:13,881
(grunts)
285
00:13:13,959 --> 00:13:15,169
(pants)
286
00:13:15,250 --> 00:13:17,040
Jerry. You were right about Heidi.
287
00:13:17,125 --> 00:13:18,955
She has me locked up
in her cabin in the woods
288
00:13:19,041 --> 00:13:20,501
near Crystal Lake.
289
00:13:20,583 --> 00:13:21,583
You gotta help me.
290
00:13:21,667 --> 00:13:23,537
(screaming)
291
00:13:24,375 --> 00:13:26,455
What are you doing under the bed,
silly bear?
292
00:13:26,542 --> 00:13:27,832
Oh, just being a silly bear.
293
00:13:28,208 --> 00:13:29,828
- Oh.
- You don't need that.
294
00:13:30,375 --> 00:13:31,325
Aah!
295
00:13:31,792 --> 00:13:33,632
Now, let's take care of that root canal.
296
00:13:34,166 --> 00:13:35,166
(screams)
297
00:13:41,333 --> 00:13:42,923
♪ Kickin' it with you! ♪
298
00:13:43,000 --> 00:13:43,920
Bobby, remember.
299
00:13:44,000 --> 00:13:45,830
I'm your manager and Rudy's your agent.
300
00:13:45,917 --> 00:13:47,917
And we're gonna convince the director
to let you audition.
301
00:13:48,000 --> 00:13:49,580
We just have to play this cool.
302
00:13:49,667 --> 00:13:51,577
Right. Oh...
303
00:13:52,041 --> 00:13:53,961
Some of the biggest action stars
in the world
304
00:13:54,041 --> 00:13:55,251
showed up to audition.
305
00:13:56,250 --> 00:13:57,460
Bruce Norris.
306
00:13:57,792 --> 00:13:58,632
The Boulder.
307
00:13:58,709 --> 00:14:00,749
Jean Claude Van Diesel.
308
00:14:01,000 --> 00:14:02,130
I'm never going to get the part.
309
00:14:02,208 --> 00:14:03,168
- Oh!
- Hey, hey, hey!
310
00:14:03,250 --> 00:14:04,920
These guys are nothing compared to you.
311
00:14:05,000 --> 00:14:07,540
You are the biggest action star of...
312
00:14:07,625 --> 00:14:09,165
Oh, sweet Mother Hubbard!
313
00:14:09,250 --> 00:14:10,630
That is Sylvester Stallion!
314
00:14:10,709 --> 00:14:11,829
(both gasping excitedly)
315
00:14:11,917 --> 00:14:14,667
Mr. Stallion, you are
my favorite action star ever!
316
00:14:14,750 --> 00:14:16,210
Hey, thank you very much!
317
00:14:16,291 --> 00:14:17,961
(mumbles)
318
00:14:18,041 --> 00:14:19,381
You know what I'm sayin'?
319
00:14:19,458 --> 00:14:20,458
I really don't.
320
00:14:21,375 --> 00:14:22,665
Oh, I loved you in Crocky ,
321
00:14:22,750 --> 00:14:24,920
the story of a half-man, half-crocodile
322
00:14:25,000 --> 00:14:27,000
who rose up from the sewers
of Philadelphia
323
00:14:27,083 --> 00:14:28,833
to become the world's greatest boxer.
324
00:14:29,625 --> 00:14:31,825
Oh, I cry every time at the end
325
00:14:31,917 --> 00:14:33,207
when you yell for your girlfriend.
326
00:14:33,750 --> 00:14:35,460
Both: Yo, amphibian.
327
00:14:35,542 --> 00:14:37,712
Amphibian!
328
00:14:39,375 --> 00:14:40,325
Hey, yo!
329
00:14:40,375 --> 00:14:42,245
That's a line from my movie!
330
00:14:43,458 --> 00:14:45,538
Hey, guys. I'm the director, John.
331
00:14:45,625 --> 00:14:47,245
Thanks everyone for coming in.
332
00:14:47,333 --> 00:14:48,423
Who's first?
333
00:14:48,500 --> 00:14:51,420
This is Bobby Wasabi. He is your man.
334
00:14:51,500 --> 00:14:52,580
Bobby, do your audition.
335
00:14:52,667 --> 00:14:53,667
Right, right.
336
00:14:54,709 --> 00:14:55,959
(sighs)
337
00:14:56,041 --> 00:14:57,671
(blubbers, mutters)
338
00:14:57,750 --> 00:14:59,330
(yips)
339
00:15:00,750 --> 00:15:01,790
(sighs)
340
00:15:03,834 --> 00:15:06,674
It's bad enough that you robbed that bank
and stole my face.
341
00:15:07,083 --> 00:15:08,083
But you crossed a line
342
00:15:08,166 --> 00:15:11,706
when you used my bathroom
and didn't light a match, punk!
343
00:15:11,792 --> 00:15:13,212
(shouts)
344
00:15:13,291 --> 00:15:15,421
Stop! Stop! Stop!
345
00:15:16,291 --> 00:15:18,081
It's not gonna happen, Wasabi.
346
00:15:18,166 --> 00:15:19,496
You're a has-been.
347
00:15:20,709 --> 00:15:21,539
(John groans)
348
00:15:21,625 --> 00:15:23,125
Guys, I need to take a five.
349
00:15:24,125 --> 00:15:25,165
(stammers)
350
00:15:26,417 --> 00:15:27,377
Hey, yo.
351
00:15:27,458 --> 00:15:28,708
Bobby, eh.
352
00:15:28,792 --> 00:15:30,252
Sometimes, you know, when things--
353
00:15:30,375 --> 00:15:33,455
(mumbling in thick accent)
354
00:15:33,542 --> 00:15:34,382
(grunts)
355
00:15:35,417 --> 00:15:36,577
Thanks, Stallion, that...
356
00:15:37,208 --> 00:15:38,958
probably made me feel better.
357
00:15:42,333 --> 00:15:44,423
(light music)
358
00:15:45,125 --> 00:15:47,325
Oh, you look so handsome.
(chuckles)
359
00:15:47,625 --> 00:15:48,825
Stop squirming.
360
00:15:50,125 --> 00:15:51,455
I said stop squirming!
361
00:15:52,834 --> 00:15:55,004
- (sighs)
- Ah, perfect.
362
00:15:55,959 --> 00:15:57,459
Ah, no. No, no.
363
00:15:57,542 --> 00:15:58,582
Don't get me wrong,
364
00:15:58,959 --> 00:16:01,749
I would love to marry you. Uh, but...
365
00:16:01,834 --> 00:16:04,674
Oh! I'm Jewish,
and according to our traditions,
366
00:16:04,750 --> 00:16:06,500
I have to be married under a chuppah.
367
00:16:06,583 --> 00:16:07,833
No chuppah, no wedding.
368
00:16:08,333 --> 00:16:09,213
(clinks)
369
00:16:09,542 --> 00:16:10,382
Aah!
370
00:16:13,834 --> 00:16:14,964
Mazel tov!
371
00:16:16,917 --> 00:16:19,537
You may be a whack job,
but you are thorough.
372
00:16:25,875 --> 00:16:28,075
(loud thuds)
373
00:16:29,583 --> 00:16:30,463
Jerry: Ow!
374
00:16:31,291 --> 00:16:32,131
Ah!
375
00:16:32,417 --> 00:16:34,327
You two weren't invited to our wedding.
376
00:16:34,417 --> 00:16:35,377
(gasps)
377
00:16:36,041 --> 00:16:37,291
This is wrong.
378
00:16:38,041 --> 00:16:39,831
You didn't invite your best friend
to your wedding?
379
00:16:41,834 --> 00:16:44,384
You just cost yourself
a beautiful five-speed blender, bro.
380
00:16:46,333 --> 00:16:47,833
It's over, sister.
381
00:16:47,917 --> 00:16:50,877
Okay, we looked you up online,
and we know all about you, Heidi.
382
00:16:50,959 --> 00:16:54,919
Or should I say the Valedictorian Vixen?
383
00:16:56,625 --> 00:16:58,455
You've been kicked out
of every school you've been in
384
00:16:58,542 --> 00:17:01,082
because you've been obsessed
with dating the smartest boy.
385
00:17:01,166 --> 00:17:02,416
(gasping)
386
00:17:02,500 --> 00:17:04,790
Well, that's because the smartest boy
goes to the best college!
387
00:17:04,875 --> 00:17:05,875
And gets the best job,
388
00:17:05,959 --> 00:17:08,959
and buys the biggest house for me
and our two genius babies!
389
00:17:09,417 --> 00:17:10,287
See!
390
00:17:10,375 --> 00:17:11,705
(Heidi laughs nervously)
391
00:17:13,000 --> 00:17:13,960
(snorts)
392
00:17:14,959 --> 00:17:16,209
Well, you messed up,
393
00:17:16,291 --> 00:17:18,211
because Milton's not the smartest boy
in school.
394
00:17:18,291 --> 00:17:19,331
(gasps)
395
00:17:20,375 --> 00:17:21,535
I got this, hon.
396
00:17:21,625 --> 00:17:23,205
How dare you!
397
00:17:24,959 --> 00:17:26,919
Milton, we're trying to save you.
398
00:17:27,000 --> 00:17:29,750
Who at our school
is smarter than my Milton?
399
00:17:37,917 --> 00:17:39,037
Hello, Heidi.
400
00:17:41,208 --> 00:17:44,418
Who has two thumbs
and the highest GPA in school?
401
00:17:44,500 --> 00:17:45,670
This guy.
402
00:17:47,959 --> 00:17:49,129
- (laughs)
- Albert, uh...
403
00:17:49,208 --> 00:17:50,078
We could be...
404
00:17:50,458 --> 00:17:53,078
She is not right.
Do you know what you're getting into?
405
00:17:53,166 --> 00:17:54,996
I do, and I don't care.
406
00:17:55,083 --> 00:17:56,633
She is three words--
407
00:17:56,709 --> 00:17:58,289
G-or-geous.
408
00:17:58,375 --> 00:18:00,245
(laughs)
Coming, babe.
409
00:18:01,834 --> 00:18:02,794
(Albert giggles)
410
00:18:02,875 --> 00:18:04,325
Mmm.
(mutters)
411
00:18:04,458 --> 00:18:06,998
- (Heidi giggles)
- Desperation is a beautiful thing.
412
00:18:11,125 --> 00:18:11,955
♪ hey! ♪
413
00:18:12,875 --> 00:18:13,745
♪ come on! ♪
414
00:18:14,500 --> 00:18:16,170
♪ Kickin' it with you! ♪
415
00:18:16,542 --> 00:18:17,832
John, wait.
416
00:18:17,917 --> 00:18:19,417
You've gotta give Bobby a chance.
417
00:18:19,500 --> 00:18:21,920
While it is true that
his last film was bad,
418
00:18:22,000 --> 00:18:23,580
I mean, borderline unwatchable,
419
00:18:23,667 --> 00:18:24,787
I wanted to gouge my eyes out.
420
00:18:24,875 --> 00:18:26,375
Thank you! Thank you, Jack.
421
00:18:27,542 --> 00:18:28,672
Listen, guys,
422
00:18:28,750 --> 00:18:32,380
Bobby Wasabi can shave his head
and change his clothes,
423
00:18:32,458 --> 00:18:35,128
but he's still just a washed-up joke.
424
00:18:35,208 --> 00:18:38,248
These guys are real action stars.
425
00:18:38,834 --> 00:18:39,674
(door closes)
426
00:18:39,750 --> 00:18:42,250
But they are no Chet Stone.
427
00:18:44,500 --> 00:18:47,250
And if I can't be in this movie,
there won't be a movie.
428
00:18:48,083 --> 00:18:50,133
Nobody replaces the stone.
429
00:18:50,375 --> 00:18:51,825
You're gonna pay, Ahearn!
430
00:18:51,917 --> 00:18:52,917
- (grunts)
- (John gasps)
431
00:18:53,000 --> 00:18:54,250
Guys, you gotta protect me!
432
00:18:56,875 --> 00:18:58,825
A real man never runs.
433
00:18:59,959 --> 00:19:00,789
Yo!
434
00:19:02,208 --> 00:19:03,038
(grunts)
435
00:19:04,333 --> 00:19:05,253
May I?
436
00:19:05,834 --> 00:19:06,834
I would be honored.
437
00:19:07,333 --> 00:19:09,423
You probably shouldn't have done that.
438
00:19:09,500 --> 00:19:10,580
- Get him!
- (grunts)
439
00:19:11,125 --> 00:19:12,035
(Bobby mumbles)
440
00:19:12,125 --> 00:19:14,625
(all grunting)
441
00:19:19,083 --> 00:19:20,083
(grunts)
442
00:19:34,166 --> 00:19:36,626
You just got Wasabi'd.
443
00:19:40,250 --> 00:19:41,670
That was amazing!
444
00:19:41,750 --> 00:19:43,790
All these big action stars ran and hid.
445
00:19:43,875 --> 00:19:46,625
But you, Bobby Wasabi, are the real thing!
446
00:19:46,709 --> 00:19:48,959
That's why I want you
to be the lead in my movie.
447
00:19:49,667 --> 00:19:51,537
Not gonna happen. You had your chance.
448
00:19:52,750 --> 00:19:55,710
I am done with you Hollywood phonies.
449
00:19:56,542 --> 00:19:59,082
But thanks to my true friends,
450
00:19:59,542 --> 00:20:01,712
I now know who Bobby Wasabi is.
451
00:20:02,291 --> 00:20:03,831
That's too bad. You would have been great.
452
00:20:05,417 --> 00:20:07,167
Wow, Bobby, that was impressive.
453
00:20:07,250 --> 00:20:09,460
You just walked away
from the role of a lifetime
454
00:20:09,542 --> 00:20:11,332
and five million dollars.
455
00:20:11,709 --> 00:20:14,209
Yeah, I guess you're just going to
be a regular guy like us
456
00:20:14,333 --> 00:20:15,713
and hang out in a strip-mall dojo.
457
00:20:15,792 --> 00:20:16,672
Give us some.
458
00:20:18,208 --> 00:20:20,128
(whimpers)
What have I done?
459
00:20:20,208 --> 00:20:21,208
John, wait up!
460
00:20:21,250 --> 00:20:23,250
I was acting! Just acting!
461
00:20:24,125 --> 00:20:25,415
(Bobby screams)
462
00:20:31,458 --> 00:20:32,998
You know, I still feel kind of bad
463
00:20:33,083 --> 00:20:35,173
for leaving Albert In the cabin
with Heidi yesterday.
464
00:20:35,250 --> 00:20:36,580
I mean, you think he's doing okay?
465
00:20:39,625 --> 00:20:40,535
Heidi?
466
00:20:41,041 --> 00:20:42,171
What are you doing here?
467
00:20:42,667 --> 00:20:43,667
Where's Albert?
468
00:20:43,750 --> 00:20:44,960
He's up in the cabin.
469
00:20:45,041 --> 00:20:47,631
I said I was going out for firewood
and then just ran away.
470
00:20:47,875 --> 00:20:49,705
That guy is a nut loaf.
471
00:20:52,000 --> 00:20:54,380
Albert: Oh, Heidi!
472
00:20:56,375 --> 00:20:57,535
(gasps)
Please!
473
00:20:57,625 --> 00:20:58,915
Don't tell him I'm here.
474
00:21:07,417 --> 00:21:09,787
Have you guys seen my honey, Heidi?
475
00:21:10,583 --> 00:21:11,673
- No.
- Haven't seen her.
476
00:21:11,750 --> 00:21:12,790
No idea.
477
00:21:18,834 --> 00:21:19,924
- There she is!
- (screams)
478
00:21:20,000 --> 00:21:21,630
No, get away! You're crazy!
479
00:21:21,709 --> 00:21:22,959
(yells)
480
00:21:24,125 --> 00:21:27,705
Oh, the faster you run,
the more I love you.
481
00:21:33,166 --> 00:21:35,166
(closing theme music)
482
00:21:57,041 --> 00:21:57,921
Man: Poor soul.
483
00:21:58,000 --> 00:21:58,920
(dog snarls, barks)
484
00:22:02,041 --> 00:22:02,881
Boy: Yes!
33402
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