Original subtitles

(upbeat music)

Announcer: And here they come.

Give it up for your gymnastics team,

the Seaford Killer Whales!

(cheering)

Whoo! Looking good, Kim.

All right.

I really want to thank you, Jack.

You've been the rock that's gotten me through my terrible breakup with Julie.

You were going out with Julie?

Yes. Why do you think I've been sitting in the locker room crying?

I don't know. I thought you had some jockstrap issue.

Listen, I'm sure Julie's going through the same tough time you are.

You're right.

I'll bet she's at home crying her--

Holy Christmas nuts!

She's over there kissing Tommy Didier!

There is something called a grieving period, you know!

Hey, come on.

Try and take your mind off of it.

Look, Kim's up.

(upbeat music playing)

Wow, she is good.

(cheering)

Yeah!

This is great. Half their team has food poisoning.

Tori, all you have to do is complete one vault, and we win!

I got this.

Next time you see me,

we'll be at Steven Sullivan's house sipping celebration smoothies.

It's gonna be sick.

Tori, will you stop talking about smoothies?

Okay, just get out there and focus!

I mean, focus.

(grunts)

(shouts)

What...

You know, Kim, if you quit now

you won't have to go up against my undefeated Swathmore team

this Saturday.

(in British accent) We're not afraid

of your Swathmore team, Claire.

Our coach has taught us that we are not quitters.

We are winners!

All right, losers, I quit.

(theme music)

♪ Don't you get all tough with me ♪

♪ I'm saying won't you Come kick it with me? ♪

♪ And we could have a ball Run up the wall ♪

♪ That's just how we do ♪

♪ And no matter how much I chop and punch ♪

♪ It's not as cool As kickin' it with you ♪

♪ Here we go, let's start the party ♪

♪ Chop it up like it's karate ♪

♪ Everybody ♪

♪ Don't you get all tough with me ♪

♪ I'm saying won't you Come kick it with me? ♪

♪ And we could have a ball Run up the wall ♪

♪ That's just how we do ♪

♪ And no matter how much I chop and punch ♪

♪ It's not as cool As kickin' it with you ♪

Good, good.

I don't believe it, Rudy. Are you still hiding from your landlord?

Yes, I am.

Unless Ratface gives that rent increase in writing,

it's not official.

A guy just delivered that.

Oh, sweet.

Ohh! He got me.

"This notice is to inform you

that your monthly rent has been increased by $600.

Seaford Mall Management."

Wait, he actually put the letter in there?

No. The sneak wrote it in anchovies.

Hey, Kim. Any luck finding a new coach?

Not a bit. I begged every adult that I know.

I got five polite no's, three blank looks,

and Officer Joan laughed so hard she ripped one.

Well, I got you something.

I hope it makes you feel better.

What-- A ticket for the US Gymnastics tour?

It's for tomorrow at the Seaford Civic Center.

Oh, thanks, Jack.

But I'm holding gymnastics tryouts tomorrow.

I mean, if I don't find a new team, then we forfeit to Swathmore,

and that will not happen.

I'll take the ticket.

I don't have much of a life right now

since Julie and I broke up.

You were going out with Julie?

I called you when we broke up.

I cried for three hours.

Don't you remember?

To be honest, I put the phone in the sock drawer

and went to the movies.

Gah!

Hey, Joan. We haven't seen you in a while.

- Where you been? - Jail.

Got a little side job at the Seaford Correctional Facility

teaching the inmates about proper hygiene.

I use this puppet to remind them about staying clean.

Well, that's so nice that you volunteer, Joan.

Yeah, it is.

And they pay this volunteer 600 bucks.

Six hundred bucks?

That's exactly what I need to cover my rent.

They're always looking for new programs.

(in puppet voice) Hey, Joan.

Let's go out to the food court and hit on the hot guys.

(in normal voice) Man.

This puppet's the best wingman I ever had.

♪ Kickin' it with you ♪

So, um...

Our coach isn't coming back.

But the good news is

I have decided to step up and fill that role.

Yeah. Good!

We just weeded out the wannabes.

Okay, look, I know there is not much time,

but if we are willing to work hard,

I'm sure that there is--

Okay.

We do not need them, okay?

You may not be the classic gymnastics type,

but I bet inside of you there is a champ--

You're just here for the paninis, aren't you?

Got any ranch dressing?

Give me those.

(in puppet voice) Hey, prison peeps!

I got a rap about hygiene

if you'd like to hear it.

(in normal voice) I love a good hygiene rap.

(in puppet voice) Well then, hit it, Joan.

(rap music playing)

♪ Being a friend is just being nice ♪

♪ Tell your cellmate if he's got lice ♪

♪ Go hygiene, go hygiene ♪

All: ♪ Go hygiene, go hygiene ♪

Man.

That puppet all right.

Uh-oh.

Every performer knows you can't follow a rapping puppet.

These guys are real inmates. What if they hate us?

Rudy, relax.

Just don't show them fear and they'll respect you.

That's good.

That's good.

(whimpers)

Rudy, where are you going?

Joan: And now...

Let's give my friends Jack and Rudy

a nice, warm prison welcome, huh?

Thank you. Thank you.

Hey, guys, uh...

I'm Jack,

and the program that we,

or I guess I will be showing you today

will teach you meditative techniques.

Welcome to "Zen in the Pen."

You got a puppet, boy?

We don't need no puppet.

We gonna relax old school.

I said relax, homes.

Hey. Chill out.

Don't you tell me to chill out, Carl!

I am from the streets!

What street you from?

Apple Berry Lane, yo!

Okay, class is over.

- Everyone back to their cells. - Get.

Wait, wait! No. I'm nothing like these monsters.

I'm from Apple Berry Lane!

Apple Berry Lane!

Kim, you are not gonna believe what happened

at the gymnastics tour today.

I told a girl about your situation,

and she agreed to coach your team for the Swathmore meet.

Um, thanks, Milton.

But do you really think I want to be coached

by some pimply-faced, wannabe gymnast

you met in the nosebleed section?

No.

But how about Olympic gold medalist Gabby Douglas?

Get out.

I'm serious. I talked to her.

She has a couple days off from the tour and she agreed to help you.

Get out!

Oh, Gabby!

Hi. You must be Kim.

I'm Gabby.

Get out!

Okay.

No, no, no. Come back, come back, come back!

(upbeat music)

I can't believe the Gabby Douglas is standing in our dojo!

(giggles)

Kim, relax.

You're freaking out in front of my girlfriend.

You're right, I'm sorry. It's just-- Your who what now?

That's right.

Gabby's my girlfriend, Kim.

It happened this afternoon.

After my dismount,

I looked up into the crowd and saw Milton.

I just couldn't resist my little ginger cookie.

Oh.

The first time our eyes met--

Yeah, yeah. Great story.

So you're really gonna coach our team?

Yeah.

When I was in school, our coach walked out,

so I know what it's like.

Oh, hey guys.

Oh, Jack, Rudy.

Meet Gabby Douglas.

I watched you during the Olympics. It's such an honor to meet you.

Thank you.

Uh, I don't know what kind of game you're playing here, missy.

But you are not the real Gabby Douglas.

Yeah, I am.

- Rudy, it's her. - Yeah, Rudy, it's actually her.

(stammers) Okay, fine.

I'll prove it's not her.

You people are so gullible.

(squeals)

You're never gonna believe this.

Gabby Douglas is in our dojo!

Would you sign this?

Just write, "To my fellow champion,

much like the Olympic flame--"

I'll just sign it "Gabby."

Simple, powerful. Totally the way to go.

♪ Kickin' it with you ♪

(gasps) That was really good, Donna.

Just don't forget to kick out a little earlier so you can stick it.

Stick it. Okay, you heard her.

Stick it, girl!

You wanna lose to Swathmore because you didn't stick it?

- Kim. Relax. - (exhales sharply)

We're in pretty good shape.

And we have somebody for every event.

Not the rings.

Ring, ring, who's there? Nobody!

Hide me. Lenore's after me.

She caught me comforting Carol.

Oh, my.

Where'd he go?

He just disappeared.

(Jerry sighs)

That was close, yo.

I've had to hide from a lot of women, Kim.

Ring, ring. Who's there? Jerry.

The newest member of our team.

(calm music plays)

Use your bodies to release negative energy.

And attain a total state of freedom.

All right, back to your cages!

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

We still got 15 minutes.

What's 15 minutes when you're doing life, am I right?

Uh, sorry, we're going down to the Seaford Civic Center

to support the gymnastics team.

Yeah, they're being coached by my very dear, dear,

dear friend Gabby Douglas.

Gabby Douglas?

Two-time Olympic gold medalist?

And my dear friend.

She's gonna bring her medals to the meet.

I'm gonna get a picture of me wearing them.

Oh, man. You gonna use that picture

to make everybody think you won that gold medal.

That's low.

Hey, show a little respect.

You're talking to a man who's won...

Two Oscars, a Nobel Peace Prize,

and the Heisman.

All right. Time's up.

Everyone out of here.

(upbeat music)

- Hey, Milton. - Hey, Joan.

Ha, ha!

(sighs)

Julie's over there with Tommy.

Probably make her nuts to know you're going out with Gabby, huh?

See these gold medals?

They belong to my girlfriend, Gabby Douglas.

Oh, you heard me, Julie.

Gabby's my girlfriend! (chuckles)

Ladies and gentlemen,

please welcome Gabby Douglas.

(cheering)

My girlfriend!

(upbeat music playing)

(cheering)

Kim.

Claire.

Wow, I can't believe it.

You showed up.

That is so brave.

To lose in front of all these people.

(chuckles)

We're not gonna lose.

Because Gabby Douglas is our new coach.

Claire: What?

- Are you serious? - Oh, that's right.

Today's the day we wipe

that stupid Swathmore smile off your snooty face.

Get ready for it.

(imitates lighter clicking)

(hissing)

What are you doing?

Boom!

That's right.

Boom goes the dynamite!

Boom!

She boomed me.

She boomed me. I mean, who does that?

That's right, girl. You're in the whale house now.

You hear me? The whale--

What is wrong with you?

We have to win. You think we're gonna win?

I think we're gonna win. What if we don't win? We have to win!

Hold up there, Hoppy Hopperson.

Couldn't help but notice your bu-dump-ah-dump-a-dump-eow.

And then you threw in a whippity-whippity-whippity-whippity-oop.

You know, and you followed it up with a flipper-doodle.

- (laughs) - I'm sorry. Who are you?

Oh, the name's Joan.

Of course, in my gymnastics days,

they used to call me the Flying Beaver.

Check it.

- (whooshing) - (crowd groans)

Do you need help?

Ah, no.

That's why they call me the Beaver. (chuckles)

♪ Kickin' it with you ♪

Dude, this is awesome.

We made 600 bucks.

Yeah. And they say crime doesn't pay.

(keypad beeping)

Hey, Tony, it's Carl.

Carl from jail.

The guy on the top bunk.

Listen, I'm out.

Get the boys together and meet me at Seaford Civic Center.

We're about to bring home the gold.

(light music playing)

(applause)

(cheering)

Yes! In your face, Claire.

When they announce the winner and everyone's cheering,

we'll replace the real security guards,

and we'll walk right out with Gabby's medals.

(cheering)

Way to go, Tiffany.

You see that, Kim?

Tiff just scored a 9.7,

which means you need a perfect routine if you're going to beat us.

(laughs)

(mocking laughter)

Perfect.

All I have to do is be perfect.

If I'm perfect, we win. If I'm not perfect, we lose.

Perfect, just perfect!

Kim! Calm down.

It's not the end of the world if you don't win.

Yeah, easy for you to say. You won gold medals.

I'm proud of my gold medals,

but I also have something else that's just as important.

A Happy Town Arcade token?

Yeah.

When my grandfather would pick me up from practice,

he would take me to the Happy Town Arcade to play games.

Well, how did that help your gymnastics?

It didn't.

But he wanted to teach me

that there had to be a balance between hard work and having fun.

You know what, Gabby? You're right.

I'm just gonna go out there and have fun.

Yeah. You know what I love to do before I compete?

- What? - I put on some music.

Kind of shake things out a bit.

You know? Get loose.

Okay.

(upbeat music playing)

(music stops)

Okay.

I think you're loose enough.

(upbeat music playing)

(cheering)

Crowd: Ooh!

(cheering)

Rudy, Rudy. Rudy, Rudy.

Check it out. It's Carl.

Rudy: Oh, would you look at that?

He got out of jail, landed a job as a security guard,

and now he's helping Gabby move her medals.

I knew I made a difference in his life.

Rudy, he's stealing them.

Oh. That makes so much more sense.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Put the medals down, Carl.

(shouts)

(grunting)

- (glass shatters) - Carl: The medals!

(all grunting)

- That was fast. - Not bad.

- That was pretty fast too. - That was pretty good.

(grunting)

- (yells) - Pretty good, dude.

Rudy: All right.

You guys got the medals back.

A black belt sensei should probably guard these.

(camera shutter clicks)

Wow, Kim.

That was awesome.

Hey, judges. What do you give that takedown?

(chuckles) Now that was fun.

I've been to thousands of gymnastics meets,

but I'll never forget this one.

And I'll never forget you, Gabby.

Claire: Hey, Gabby.

Want to take a pic with the real winning team?

Definitely.

(scoffs)

Squeeze in, guys. Let's get a pic.

- Come on. - Photographer: Okay. Ready?

And one, two, three!

- (camera shutter clicks) - ♪ Kickin' it with you ♪

(upbeat music)

Of all the gym joints in all the world,

you had to tumble into mine.

So my bus leaves in an hour.

Any chance of you coming with me?

I'd only slow you down.

Don't be silly.

No, I'm serious.

I get carsick, airsick, seasick.

If it moves, I've blown chunks on it.

So I guess this is...

goodbye.

(sighs) What a woman.

Don't worry, Milton.

She'll be back.

Because true love conquers all?

Nope.

'Cause I still have her medals.

(closing theme music)

Man: Poor soul.

(dog snarls, barks)

Boy: Yes!