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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,125 --> 00:00:02,915 (upbeat music) 2 00:00:03,625 --> 00:00:05,035 Ooh, our commercial is on! 3 00:00:05,125 --> 00:00:10,665 Hello, I'm Rudy Gillespie, the sensei of the Bobby Wasabi Dojo. 4 00:00:10,750 --> 00:00:14,790 Oh, no, some bully just stole my calculator. 5 00:00:14,875 --> 00:00:16,415 I wish I knew karate. 6 00:00:16,500 --> 00:00:18,960 I'll teach you. (fake whispers) 7 00:00:19,959 --> 00:00:22,039 Thank you, handsome sensei. 8 00:00:22,125 --> 00:00:23,125 (fabric rips) 9 00:00:23,375 --> 00:00:26,075 Hey, you, give me my calculator back. 10 00:00:26,166 --> 00:00:28,706 (grunting) 11 00:00:28,792 --> 00:00:29,792 Oh, no. 12 00:00:29,875 --> 00:00:33,875 You must have learned karate at the Bobby Wasabi Dojo, 13 00:00:33,959 --> 00:00:39,289 conveniently located at 3316 Ma... (gulps) 14 00:00:39,375 --> 00:00:40,745 ...Main Street. 15 00:00:42,291 --> 00:00:43,791 (high-pitched scream) 16 00:00:45,250 --> 00:00:47,920 Hey, I was watching you from over... 17 00:00:48,417 --> 00:00:49,537 there. 18 00:00:50,375 --> 00:00:53,165 What do you call those moves you do so well? 19 00:00:53,709 --> 00:00:55,669 They are called karate, friend. 20 00:00:55,917 --> 00:00:59,917 Because life without it... just doesn't add up. 21 00:01:00,000 --> 00:01:02,330 Wow, you wear karate well. 22 00:01:02,417 --> 00:01:04,917 - Can I please be your girlfriend now? - (bell dings) 23 00:01:06,417 --> 00:01:07,627 Sign up today! 24 00:01:07,709 --> 00:01:10,959 Call 1-5-5-5-0-1-ya! 25 00:01:11,041 --> 00:01:12,671 Oh, yeah! 26 00:01:12,750 --> 00:01:16,670 See, now everyone in Seaford will know that I'm the King of Karate. 27 00:01:16,917 --> 00:01:18,917 Uh, Rudy, you may want to see this. 28 00:01:19,000 --> 00:01:21,500 I'm Chuck Banner, the Karate King! 29 00:01:21,583 --> 00:01:22,753 Chuck: And if you love America, 30 00:01:22,834 --> 00:01:26,004 you'll sign up at my new Seaford Karate King Dojo today! 31 00:01:26,083 --> 00:01:28,383 Hiyah! Call within the next 30 minutes 32 00:01:28,375 --> 00:01:31,325 and you'll receive this free Karate King clock. 33 00:01:32,250 --> 00:01:35,170 Men and ladies love waking up next to me. 34 00:01:35,250 --> 00:01:36,500 What time is it? 35 00:01:36,875 --> 00:01:38,825 - Half past awesome. - (explodes) 36 00:01:41,458 --> 00:01:43,708 - Jerry, what are you doing? - I'm getting that clock. 37 00:01:44,375 --> 00:01:45,705 I want one too. 38 00:01:46,709 --> 00:01:49,829 (scoffs) Please, guys, Chuck Banner is a joke. 39 00:01:49,917 --> 00:01:51,167 Jack is right. 40 00:01:51,250 --> 00:01:53,920 Nobody is calling Karate King from my dojo! 41 00:01:54,000 --> 00:01:56,250 - But-- - You guys go stretch out. Get to work. 42 00:01:56,333 --> 00:01:57,173 - Oh, Rudy. - All right. 43 00:01:57,250 --> 00:01:58,170 Fine. 44 00:02:00,000 --> 00:02:01,210 (whispering) Yes, hello. 45 00:02:01,291 --> 00:02:03,791 Can I order one of those free Chuck Banner Clocks? 46 00:02:04,125 --> 00:02:07,955 Wait, what? Ninety-nine dollars for shipping and handling? 47 00:02:08,959 --> 00:02:10,039 I'll take two! 48 00:02:10,125 --> 00:02:12,075 (theme music) 49 00:02:12,166 --> 00:02:15,326 ♪ Don't you get all tough with me ♪ 50 00:02:15,417 --> 00:02:19,377 ♪ I'm saying won't you Come kick it with me? ♪ 51 00:02:19,458 --> 00:02:21,958 ♪ And we could have a ball Run up the wall ♪ 52 00:02:22,041 --> 00:02:23,791 ♪ That's just how we do ♪ 53 00:02:23,875 --> 00:02:25,875 ♪ And no matter how much I chop and punch ♪ 54 00:02:25,959 --> 00:02:28,959 ♪ It's not as cool As kickin' it with you ♪ 55 00:02:29,041 --> 00:02:30,881 ♪ Here we go, let's start the party ♪ 56 00:02:30,959 --> 00:02:32,579 ♪ Chop it up like it's karate ♪ 57 00:02:32,667 --> 00:02:34,127 ♪ Everybody ♪ 58 00:02:34,208 --> 00:02:37,458 ♪ Don't you get all tough with me ♪ 59 00:02:37,542 --> 00:02:41,382 ♪ I'm saying won't you Come kick it with me? ♪ 60 00:02:41,458 --> 00:02:43,998 ♪ And we could have a ball Run up the wall ♪ 61 00:02:44,083 --> 00:02:45,963 ♪ That's just how we do ♪ 62 00:02:46,041 --> 00:02:47,961 ♪ And no matter how much I chop and punch ♪ 63 00:02:48,041 --> 00:02:50,751 ♪ It's not as cool As kickin' it with you ♪ 64 00:02:51,583 --> 00:02:54,043 (upbeat music) 65 00:02:54,500 --> 00:02:57,130 Hey, Rudy, there's something I want to talk to you about. 66 00:02:57,208 --> 00:03:00,168 Hang on, I just have to finish my Shin Do practice. 67 00:03:00,792 --> 00:03:01,792 Okay, I'm good. 68 00:03:03,333 --> 00:03:05,083 Check it out. The big sensei tournament 69 00:03:05,166 --> 00:03:06,706 is going to be at the Seaford Civic Center. 70 00:03:06,792 --> 00:03:08,422 The final round is going to be televised. 71 00:03:08,500 --> 00:03:09,830 Oh. 72 00:03:09,917 --> 00:03:12,877 Winning this tournament in my hometown would be even better publicity 73 00:03:12,959 --> 00:03:15,329 than when I became a hero by jumping into the bay 74 00:03:15,417 --> 00:03:17,377 and saving that man in a wheelchair. 75 00:03:17,458 --> 00:03:20,208 He was only in the bay because your car bumped into him-- 76 00:03:20,291 --> 00:03:21,461 A hero! 77 00:03:23,667 --> 00:03:24,997 I was thinking that 78 00:03:25,917 --> 00:03:27,577 maybe I could enter the tournament. 79 00:03:27,667 --> 00:03:28,997 What? 80 00:03:29,083 --> 00:03:31,083 (chuckles) Jack, you're not a sensei. 81 00:03:31,166 --> 00:03:34,626 Rudy, I'm a second-degree black belt, I win all of my tournaments, 82 00:03:34,709 --> 00:03:36,919 I really think I'm ready to take the next step. 83 00:03:37,000 --> 00:03:39,000 Jack, just because you have a donkey in the barn 84 00:03:39,083 --> 00:03:40,753 doesn't mean you know how to plow a field. 85 00:03:42,583 --> 00:03:44,883 - What does that mean? - No idea. 86 00:03:45,250 --> 00:03:48,790 Now the point is there's just so much more I have to teach you. 87 00:03:48,875 --> 00:03:51,285 Do you want to learn the ancient martial art 88 00:03:52,083 --> 00:03:53,253 of Shin Do? 89 00:03:53,333 --> 00:03:55,633 (scoffs) I Shin-don't. 90 00:03:56,709 --> 00:03:58,289 - It looks lame. - Lame? 91 00:03:58,375 --> 00:04:00,955 You harness your opponent's energy and use it against them. 92 00:04:01,041 --> 00:04:02,961 Rudy, why would I do that when I can do this? 93 00:04:04,792 --> 00:04:06,252 (grunts) 94 00:04:09,375 --> 00:04:12,375 Jack, there's more to being a sensei than flying sidekicks. 95 00:04:12,458 --> 00:04:15,288 It requires a level of maturity that you have yet to achieve. 96 00:04:15,375 --> 00:04:18,035 - (door opens) - Ooh! Ooh! They're here, they're here! 97 00:04:18,125 --> 00:04:21,375 (excited squeals) 98 00:04:21,750 --> 00:04:25,210 - (laughs) - Chuck: It's time to kick butt! Hiyah! 99 00:04:25,250 --> 00:04:27,420 It's time to kick butt! Hiyah! 100 00:04:27,500 --> 00:04:32,420 Oh, Chuck Banner is a poser, but this clock is "half past awesome"! 101 00:04:37,500 --> 00:04:39,750 All three of these foods are brown. 102 00:04:39,959 --> 00:04:41,709 How do I know which is which? 103 00:04:41,792 --> 00:04:44,132 The broccoli's got the congealed fat, 104 00:04:44,208 --> 00:04:46,168 the mac and cheese has got the mold, 105 00:04:46,250 --> 00:04:48,210 and the pot roast's got the fat and the mold. 106 00:04:49,834 --> 00:04:52,544 Uh, look at Jerry's meatball. It's like a rock. 107 00:04:52,625 --> 00:04:53,705 No, it's not. 108 00:04:54,250 --> 00:04:56,630 - (thuds) - You can eat a rock. 109 00:04:58,208 --> 00:04:59,748 You know what? Something has got to be done 110 00:04:59,834 --> 00:05:02,134 about the food in the cafeteria. I am sick of it. 111 00:05:03,041 --> 00:05:04,791 - Marge? - You guys want seconds? 112 00:05:04,875 --> 00:05:06,455 All: No! 113 00:05:07,792 --> 00:05:09,542 Look, Marge, there's no nice way to put this, 114 00:05:09,625 --> 00:05:11,035 so I'm just going to be blunt. 115 00:05:11,709 --> 00:05:14,959 Marge, your food stinks. 116 00:05:15,750 --> 00:05:19,130 There better be another woman named Marge standing right behind me. 117 00:05:20,959 --> 00:05:22,499 We want better food! 118 00:05:22,583 --> 00:05:24,133 Hey, am I right, people? 119 00:05:24,208 --> 00:05:26,998 (chanting) Better food! Better food! 120 00:05:27,083 --> 00:05:31,003 - Better food! Better food-- - Oh, that's it! 121 00:05:31,083 --> 00:05:34,883 You think it's easy putting 500 lukewarm meals out every day? 122 00:05:34,959 --> 00:05:38,379 Peeling onions, chopping carrots, erasing expiration dates. 123 00:05:38,792 --> 00:05:41,252 You know what? You guys don't appreciate me? 124 00:05:41,375 --> 00:05:43,745 I'm outta here. I'm removing my apron, 125 00:05:43,834 --> 00:05:46,674 my gloves, and my hairnet-- Where's my hairnet? 126 00:05:46,750 --> 00:05:47,920 Uh, where... 127 00:05:49,125 --> 00:05:50,165 It's in my soup. 128 00:05:51,458 --> 00:05:53,248 Gimme that! (grunts) 129 00:05:53,375 --> 00:05:55,165 Come on, people, let's go. (snaps) 130 00:06:00,250 --> 00:06:01,420 Hey, guys, you know what? 131 00:06:01,500 --> 00:06:02,420 With Marge gone, 132 00:06:02,500 --> 00:06:04,670 Principal Funderburk is gonna have to find a new replacement. 133 00:06:04,750 --> 00:06:07,170 So trust me, this is gonna work out great. 134 00:06:07,750 --> 00:06:09,830 I can't believe we're the new lunch ladies. 135 00:06:09,917 --> 00:06:11,787 I can't believe I have to wear a hairnet. 136 00:06:11,875 --> 00:06:13,535 I can't believe I have to wear three. 137 00:06:17,750 --> 00:06:20,380 (upbeat music) 138 00:06:20,417 --> 00:06:23,247 Hey! I recognize you from your commercial. 139 00:06:23,375 --> 00:06:25,325 Oh! Thanks. You know, we're really proud-- 140 00:06:25,417 --> 00:06:26,497 It was horrible. 141 00:06:27,875 --> 00:06:28,955 But you were good. 142 00:06:29,041 --> 00:06:30,631 Well, thank you. 143 00:06:30,709 --> 00:06:32,919 You're, uh, you're Chuck Banner, the Karate King. 144 00:06:33,000 --> 00:06:35,250 How'd you know? (chuckles) 145 00:06:35,375 --> 00:06:36,535 Just a guess. 146 00:06:38,542 --> 00:06:41,832 Jack, you remind me of Young Me. 147 00:06:41,917 --> 00:06:43,207 I remind you of you? 148 00:06:43,291 --> 00:06:45,831 No, Young Me, the Chinese Grandmaster. 149 00:06:47,500 --> 00:06:49,670 He was a sensei at 16. 150 00:06:49,959 --> 00:06:51,419 Wait, really? 151 00:06:51,500 --> 00:06:53,920 Well, I'm 16, but I'm not a sensei. 152 00:06:54,000 --> 00:06:56,460 Well, you know what I say to that? Boo hoo. 153 00:06:56,917 --> 00:06:58,127 You gonna cry? 154 00:06:58,208 --> 00:07:00,248 No. Boo Hoo, the black belt 155 00:07:01,291 --> 00:07:03,881 whose master never let him become a sensei. 156 00:07:03,959 --> 00:07:06,629 You come over to Karate King and I'll make you a sensei. 157 00:07:06,709 --> 00:07:10,129 And with that comes honor, prestige, and ka-ching. 158 00:07:10,208 --> 00:07:11,248 Let me guess. 159 00:07:11,333 --> 00:07:13,253 Ka Ching is another sensei who works for you? 160 00:07:13,333 --> 00:07:15,833 Ka-ching is an expression for making a whole lot of money. 161 00:07:15,917 --> 00:07:16,957 What's wrong with you? 162 00:07:17,625 --> 00:07:18,625 (mouths) What? 163 00:07:19,291 --> 00:07:21,171 ♪ Kickin' it with you ♪ 164 00:07:21,709 --> 00:07:25,919 As you all know, they're holding a sensei tournament right here in Seaford. 165 00:07:26,000 --> 00:07:29,540 And one student amongst you has risen above all the others. 166 00:07:29,875 --> 00:07:32,125 I think someone's about to become a sensei. 167 00:07:32,208 --> 00:07:33,248 (chuckles) 168 00:07:33,792 --> 00:07:36,882 - Jack, I would like to officially ask-- - Rudy, hang on one second. 169 00:07:36,959 --> 00:07:38,709 I'd like to say something first. 170 00:07:40,250 --> 00:07:43,040 Although I'm about to become a sensei, 171 00:07:43,125 --> 00:07:45,375 I will always be your friend-sei. 172 00:07:46,959 --> 00:07:48,459 Jack, I was gonna ask you 173 00:07:48,542 --> 00:07:50,422 if you'd be my cornerman in the tournament. 174 00:07:51,041 --> 00:07:52,131 What? 175 00:07:52,208 --> 00:07:54,708 You want me to empty your spit bucket and carry your shoes? 176 00:07:54,792 --> 00:07:57,962 Congratulations, friend-sei. 177 00:07:59,500 --> 00:08:01,710 (upbeat music) 178 00:08:02,333 --> 00:08:03,673 Ooh! 179 00:08:04,709 --> 00:08:08,419 Ahh, Chicken Florentine with mushroom risotto. 180 00:08:08,500 --> 00:08:09,880 Now that's a lunch. 181 00:08:09,959 --> 00:08:12,629 Great! We're just going to need 499 more plates. 182 00:08:12,709 --> 00:08:13,999 What? 183 00:08:14,083 --> 00:08:16,383 (gasps) It took me five hours to make this one! 184 00:08:16,458 --> 00:08:19,328 What? What are we gonna do? We gotta feed them something. 185 00:08:19,417 --> 00:08:20,997 (whimpering) 186 00:08:21,083 --> 00:08:25,583 Who's ready to serve up some famous Martinez gumbo ya-ya? 187 00:08:26,250 --> 00:08:28,630 I can't believe it! This stuff smells so good. 188 00:08:28,709 --> 00:08:29,829 Jerry, you saved us! 189 00:08:29,917 --> 00:08:31,827 I didn't know you knew how to make gumbo. 190 00:08:31,917 --> 00:08:33,747 Ah, gumbo is just a Cajun word for... 191 00:08:33,834 --> 00:08:35,384 (Cajun accent) ..."Throw it in there." 192 00:08:35,458 --> 00:08:39,458 Yeah, a little bullion, a little onion, a little chick-on... 193 00:08:39,542 --> 00:08:40,922 (regular voice) ...and some ketchup. 194 00:08:42,083 --> 00:08:44,213 Excuse me. (grunts) 195 00:08:46,125 --> 00:08:47,665 (growls) 196 00:08:49,417 --> 00:08:51,707 Whatever is in that pot just growled at me. 197 00:08:54,125 --> 00:08:57,035 (growls) 198 00:08:57,625 --> 00:08:59,415 This gumbo's fighting back. 199 00:08:59,709 --> 00:09:01,329 - (splashes) - (rumbles) 200 00:09:02,875 --> 00:09:06,205 Ah, don't worry, I'll get it. (sighs) 201 00:09:07,834 --> 00:09:11,334 (shrieks) Help! Ah, help! 202 00:09:11,417 --> 00:09:13,747 I'm in a bit of a situation. 203 00:09:13,834 --> 00:09:17,334 - Stop! Aah! Aah! - (growling) 204 00:09:22,583 --> 00:09:25,133 (upbeat music) 205 00:09:25,750 --> 00:09:27,710 Good, Jack, I'm glad you're here. 206 00:09:27,792 --> 00:09:30,382 Let's work on our spit bucket technique. 207 00:09:30,458 --> 00:09:32,128 If I get dazed out there, 208 00:09:32,208 --> 00:09:33,998 spit could be coming at you from every angle. 209 00:09:34,083 --> 00:09:35,583 So, try to follow my mouth. 210 00:09:36,875 --> 00:09:38,495 I'm not gonna be your cornerman, Rudy. 211 00:09:38,583 --> 00:09:39,713 (gurgles) What do you mean 212 00:09:39,792 --> 00:09:41,132 you're not going to be my cornerman? 213 00:09:41,208 --> 00:09:42,748 I'm gonna be competing. 214 00:09:43,250 --> 00:09:44,790 What? 215 00:09:45,291 --> 00:09:46,881 (scoffs) You can't compete. 216 00:09:46,959 --> 00:09:48,209 It's only for senseis. 217 00:09:48,291 --> 00:09:49,251 I am a sensei. 218 00:09:50,208 --> 00:09:51,498 At Karate King. 219 00:09:51,709 --> 00:09:54,999 - You're a who at where now? - I'll see you later, Rudy. 220 00:09:55,208 --> 00:09:56,248 Wha... 221 00:09:56,667 --> 00:09:58,707 Chuck: (through clock) It's time to kick butt! Hiyah! 222 00:09:58,792 --> 00:10:01,632 - It's time to kick butt! Hiyah! - Aw, shut it! 223 00:10:01,709 --> 00:10:04,419 Chuck: It's time to kick butt! Hiyah! It's time to kick butt! 224 00:10:04,500 --> 00:10:07,130 - Hiyah! It's time to kick-- - (grunts) 225 00:10:07,208 --> 00:10:09,668 - It's time to kick butt! Hiyah! - (screams) 226 00:10:09,750 --> 00:10:11,710 It's time to kick butt! Hiyah! 227 00:10:11,792 --> 00:10:14,002 Say what you want about that Chuck Banner. 228 00:10:14,667 --> 00:10:16,457 The man knows how to make a clock! 229 00:10:17,041 --> 00:10:18,921 ♪ Kickin' it with you ♪ 230 00:10:20,375 --> 00:10:22,705 (upbeat music) 231 00:10:24,834 --> 00:10:28,084 Oh, look who's here to sign up for tomorrow's tournament. 232 00:10:28,166 --> 00:10:30,246 Everybody bow, it's sensei Jack. 233 00:10:31,417 --> 00:10:33,327 No, he's not a real sensei! Stop bowing! 234 00:10:34,000 --> 00:10:35,710 Well, Chuck Banner thinks I am. 235 00:10:35,792 --> 00:10:36,882 Oh, really? 236 00:10:36,959 --> 00:10:40,249 Um, was Chuck there when you broke your first board? 237 00:10:40,375 --> 00:10:42,075 Or, or when you got your black belt? 238 00:10:42,166 --> 00:10:45,536 Or when you were so nervous you wet your pants before Nationals? 239 00:10:45,625 --> 00:10:47,665 That wasn't me, Rudy. That was you. 240 00:10:47,750 --> 00:10:50,540 Stupid hotel with that all-you-can-drink lemonade bar. 241 00:10:52,208 --> 00:10:54,038 The point is I know you. 242 00:10:54,125 --> 00:10:56,535 And I want you to become a sensei, but when you're ready. 243 00:10:56,625 --> 00:10:58,205 Well, I think I'm ready now. 244 00:10:58,291 --> 00:11:00,131 Excuse me. I have a tournament to sign up for. 245 00:11:03,000 --> 00:11:04,580 Um, as your sensei, 246 00:11:04,667 --> 00:11:06,877 I am removing your name from the sign-up sheet. 247 00:11:10,000 --> 00:11:11,670 Well, as my own sensei, 248 00:11:11,750 --> 00:11:14,040 I am putting my name back on the sign-up sheet. 249 00:11:19,500 --> 00:11:22,250 Can't sign up without a pen! Ha-ha! 250 00:11:23,417 --> 00:11:25,327 Your problem is you're jealous of Chuck. 251 00:11:25,417 --> 00:11:26,747 Why would I be jealous? 252 00:11:26,834 --> 00:11:29,964 Maybe because he owns 55 dojos across the country and you own one. 253 00:11:30,041 --> 00:11:31,671 I could own 55 dojos. 254 00:11:31,750 --> 00:11:34,250 I just have neither the money nor the ability. 255 00:11:36,583 --> 00:11:39,793 Just face it, Jack. The guy's a pompous blowhard. 256 00:11:39,875 --> 00:11:43,285 No, he's not, Rudy. He takes his karate very seriously. 257 00:11:43,375 --> 00:11:46,825 Whoo! The King is in the house! Hiyah! 258 00:11:50,250 --> 00:11:51,790 Here's your Wizard Weenie. 259 00:11:51,875 --> 00:11:53,455 We make magic in your mouth! 260 00:11:56,792 --> 00:11:59,712 - Marge, we need you back. - Milton: We tried to do your job 261 00:11:59,792 --> 00:12:03,082 - and we realized how hard it is. - And how good my food is? 262 00:12:04,125 --> 00:12:05,875 We realized how hard it is. 263 00:12:07,792 --> 00:12:09,332 Please consider coming back. 264 00:12:09,417 --> 00:12:11,747 I'm not coming back. You guys didn't appreciate me. 265 00:12:11,834 --> 00:12:13,634 Besides, I've never been happier. 266 00:12:14,166 --> 00:12:15,876 Pushing around a Weenie Wagon? 267 00:12:15,959 --> 00:12:18,079 You don't know what makes me happy, little girl. 268 00:12:18,959 --> 00:12:20,789 Besides, my dream is dead. 269 00:12:20,875 --> 00:12:22,875 Your dream is to marry Denzel Washington. 270 00:12:22,959 --> 00:12:25,129 That is not a dream. D-Wash will be mine. 271 00:12:26,750 --> 00:12:29,210 I'm talking about opening up a restaurant. 272 00:12:29,291 --> 00:12:31,331 Marge's Homestyle Barbecue. 273 00:12:32,375 --> 00:12:34,325 Ooh, I need a bathroom break. 274 00:12:34,375 --> 00:12:36,825 They make you do everything in this stupid wizard code. 275 00:12:36,917 --> 00:12:40,747 Base, this is Marge. I need to use the cave of despair. Pronto! 276 00:12:43,000 --> 00:12:44,580 Why do they call it the cave of despair? 277 00:12:44,667 --> 00:12:46,497 Have you been in the food court bathroom? 278 00:12:48,125 --> 00:12:51,825 You guys, we're gonna make Marge's dream come true. 279 00:12:51,917 --> 00:12:54,537 (upbeat music) 280 00:12:54,625 --> 00:12:55,955 - Knock, knock. - Who's there? 281 00:12:56,041 --> 00:12:57,881 Worst ninja ever! 282 00:12:58,792 --> 00:13:00,252 (giggles) Get it? 283 00:13:00,333 --> 00:13:01,963 'Cause he just knocked, 284 00:13:02,041 --> 00:13:05,171 and he literally said "worst ninja ever." 285 00:13:05,250 --> 00:13:07,500 That is so not a good ninja, am I right? 286 00:13:10,542 --> 00:13:13,332 Wow, nice gi, Jack. 287 00:13:13,375 --> 00:13:16,035 Uh, uh, uh, what dojo are you with again? 288 00:13:16,125 --> 00:13:17,205 Right? 289 00:13:20,375 --> 00:13:23,125 You got your fancy gi, your matching wrist bands, 290 00:13:23,208 --> 00:13:24,998 bet you're even wearing "Karate King" underpant-- 291 00:13:25,083 --> 00:13:26,633 Yes, unfortunately I am. 292 00:13:29,125 --> 00:13:31,745 You know, you're going up against Byron Kavanaugh on the first round. 293 00:13:32,083 --> 00:13:34,883 He's a master of Muay Thai. He's probably gonna come at you-- 294 00:13:34,959 --> 00:13:36,579 I don't need your help anymore, Rudy. 295 00:13:37,291 --> 00:13:38,541 Be that way. 296 00:13:38,625 --> 00:13:40,455 But I am not telling you the hilarious joke 297 00:13:40,542 --> 00:13:42,042 I've been telling all the other senseis. 298 00:13:42,125 --> 00:13:45,125 - Worst ninja ever? It's not funny. - It is the way I tell it! 299 00:13:47,917 --> 00:13:50,577 (lively music) 300 00:13:52,208 --> 00:13:53,748 (cheering) 301 00:13:56,375 --> 00:13:58,625 (both grunting) 302 00:14:10,834 --> 00:14:12,884 - (bones crack) - (groans) 303 00:14:15,834 --> 00:14:17,834 (both grunting) 304 00:14:25,166 --> 00:14:27,246 (crowd cheering) 305 00:14:39,542 --> 00:14:41,542 (upbeat music) 306 00:14:41,625 --> 00:14:43,325 You sure Marge is gonna show up? 307 00:14:43,417 --> 00:14:45,827 I sent her a text that should get her attention. 308 00:14:45,917 --> 00:14:48,627 Where is he? Where's my beautiful Denzel? 309 00:14:49,792 --> 00:14:51,832 - He's not here. - What? 310 00:14:53,000 --> 00:14:54,210 You lied to me? 311 00:14:54,792 --> 00:14:56,542 That's it. I'm tired of this, okay? 312 00:14:56,625 --> 00:14:59,825 - (shrieks) - No, no, no, Marge, Marge, calm down. 313 00:15:01,083 --> 00:15:04,713 We know you gave up on your dream of opening Marge's Homestyle Barbecue. 314 00:15:05,458 --> 00:15:07,378 But we didn't. 315 00:15:07,458 --> 00:15:08,998 What are you talking about? 316 00:15:09,083 --> 00:15:11,463 (country music plays) 317 00:15:11,542 --> 00:15:12,502 (gasps) 318 00:15:12,875 --> 00:15:15,955 This is exactly how I pictured it in my dreams. 319 00:15:16,041 --> 00:15:17,631 Okay, look, your restaurant's gonna be filled 320 00:15:17,750 --> 00:15:19,380 with hungry customers in an hour 321 00:15:19,792 --> 00:15:21,382 and we got you something. 322 00:15:22,959 --> 00:15:24,249 (gasps) 323 00:15:25,667 --> 00:15:27,917 I can't believe you guys did this just for me. 324 00:15:28,917 --> 00:15:31,167 You children better turn away. I'm an ugly crier. 325 00:15:31,250 --> 00:15:32,880 Oh, aw... 326 00:15:32,959 --> 00:15:34,829 - You're crying 'cause you're happy - (sobbing) 327 00:15:34,917 --> 00:15:36,077 and that's just beautiful... 328 00:15:36,166 --> 00:15:37,496 (sobbing) 329 00:15:39,625 --> 00:15:41,205 She is an ugly crier. 330 00:15:43,667 --> 00:15:45,957 For lunch today, we're having barbecued ribs, 331 00:15:46,041 --> 00:15:49,251 baked beans, and Marge's special cornbread. 332 00:15:49,333 --> 00:15:52,213 Dig in, I'm going to make seconds, everybody. Whoo! 333 00:15:52,542 --> 00:15:55,582 Well, the best part of this food is that we didn't have to make it. 334 00:15:55,667 --> 00:15:57,037 It actually looks pretty good. 335 00:15:57,125 --> 00:15:59,245 It smells pretty good. 336 00:16:00,542 --> 00:16:02,002 You think we should give it a try? 337 00:16:07,875 --> 00:16:10,665 (all gagging) 338 00:16:12,250 --> 00:16:14,210 All right, people. Don't panic. 339 00:16:14,250 --> 00:16:16,330 There are barf bags under your seats. 340 00:16:16,417 --> 00:16:18,247 - Marge: Who wants dessert? - Boy: Oh, no! 341 00:16:20,291 --> 00:16:22,501 Please proceed in a calm, orderly fashion. 342 00:16:22,583 --> 00:16:26,463 Exit in a single-file line. Bathrooms are out to the left. 343 00:16:27,291 --> 00:16:29,251 ♪ Kickin' it with you ♪ 344 00:16:30,041 --> 00:16:33,291 Wow, Jerry's really getting into being Rudy's new cornerman. 345 00:16:33,375 --> 00:16:34,575 Oh, look, he's going to do that 346 00:16:34,667 --> 00:16:36,207 old globe trotters gag with the spit bucket. 347 00:16:36,291 --> 00:16:38,001 It looks like he's gonna throw it on the crowd, 348 00:16:38,083 --> 00:16:39,713 but there's nothing in it but confetti. 349 00:16:49,458 --> 00:16:51,128 Oops. Sorry, wrong bucket. 350 00:16:52,208 --> 00:16:53,998 Both: Gah! 351 00:16:54,667 --> 00:16:57,457 - (dramatic music playing) - Whoo-hoo! 352 00:16:57,542 --> 00:16:59,752 Yeah! 353 00:16:59,834 --> 00:17:03,134 Ladies and gentlemen, you all know me, 354 00:17:03,208 --> 00:17:07,168 I'm Chuck Banner, the Karate King, best new dojo in town. 355 00:17:07,583 --> 00:17:10,793 Please welcome my new sensei 356 00:17:10,875 --> 00:17:13,575 and the man who's gonna bring home the gold, 357 00:17:13,667 --> 00:17:15,747 Jack Brewer! 358 00:17:15,834 --> 00:17:17,964 (rock music playing) 359 00:17:20,875 --> 00:17:23,035 (crowd cheers) 360 00:17:23,125 --> 00:17:25,325 Ladies and gentlemen, 361 00:17:25,375 --> 00:17:29,455 from the Bobby Wasabi Dojo, Sensei Rudy Gillespie... 362 00:17:29,542 --> 00:17:31,332 (echoing) Espie, Espie, Espie. 363 00:17:31,583 --> 00:17:34,083 - (boom box clicks) - (pop music playing) 364 00:17:43,542 --> 00:17:45,212 - Rudy. - Jack. 365 00:17:45,291 --> 00:17:46,461 - Go, Rudy! 366 00:17:47,542 --> 00:17:49,042 - Go, Jack! - Go, Rudy! 367 00:17:51,417 --> 00:17:54,127 (applause, cheering) 368 00:17:57,125 --> 00:18:00,245 (grunting) 369 00:18:13,250 --> 00:18:14,630 (bell dings) 370 00:18:16,417 --> 00:18:18,577 (applause, cheers) 371 00:18:19,542 --> 00:18:21,672 He's countering every one of my strikes. 372 00:18:21,750 --> 00:18:23,420 Do you have any martial arts advice? 373 00:18:23,500 --> 00:18:25,630 Try to win. It's good for business. 374 00:18:27,417 --> 00:18:28,877 Wait, hang on a second, 375 00:18:29,333 --> 00:18:31,463 you're not even a real black belt, are you? 376 00:18:31,917 --> 00:18:34,497 Well, I'm a black belt at making money, I can tell you that. 377 00:18:34,583 --> 00:18:36,133 Now get out there and make me look good. 378 00:18:36,500 --> 00:18:37,710 (bell dings) 379 00:18:44,583 --> 00:18:47,793 (both grunting) 380 00:19:00,000 --> 00:19:02,420 (mystical music) 381 00:19:42,500 --> 00:19:44,670 - Ah! - (bell dings) 382 00:19:44,750 --> 00:19:47,130 (crowd cheering) 383 00:19:52,792 --> 00:19:55,672 Rudy, what was that form? I've never seen anything like it. 384 00:19:55,750 --> 00:19:58,380 Sure you have. That's Shin do. 385 00:20:00,500 --> 00:20:03,920 Wow, man. You know, I owe you an apology. 386 00:20:04,000 --> 00:20:05,880 You were right. I'm not ready to be a sensei yet. 387 00:20:05,959 --> 00:20:07,169 You will be. 388 00:20:07,667 --> 00:20:09,327 Great job, Jack. 389 00:20:09,458 --> 00:20:11,378 The camera got some great logo shots. 390 00:20:11,709 --> 00:20:13,829 You know what, Chuck? I have a lot more to learn 391 00:20:13,917 --> 00:20:15,327 and I want Rudy to be the one to teach me. 392 00:20:15,417 --> 00:20:17,747 Okay, fine. Moving on. 393 00:20:17,834 --> 00:20:19,634 Rudy, nice moves. 394 00:20:19,709 --> 00:20:21,789 - What do you say you join-- - Uh, not interested, Chuck. 395 00:20:21,875 --> 00:20:23,035 All right, fine, 396 00:20:23,125 --> 00:20:26,995 But I'm the one leaving in a Ferrari with two supermodels and an orangutan. 397 00:20:27,083 --> 00:20:28,713 I'll see you losers later. 398 00:20:28,792 --> 00:20:31,042 Rudy, none of that's important. 399 00:20:31,125 --> 00:20:32,955 The important thing is is that you're leaving here 400 00:20:33,041 --> 00:20:35,751 with four kids who absolutely love and respect you. 401 00:20:35,834 --> 00:20:38,924 And you know, the moral of the story is that... Rudy? 402 00:20:39,000 --> 00:20:41,250 Wait up, Chuck! I call shotgun! 403 00:20:44,542 --> 00:20:47,502 (upbeat music) 404 00:20:48,000 --> 00:20:50,750 - Jack: Hey, Rudy, where you been? - I finally did it. 405 00:20:50,834 --> 00:20:54,084 I destroyed the Chuck Banner Clock. 406 00:20:54,166 --> 00:20:57,126 (chuckles) Yeah. I dropped it off the third story, 407 00:20:57,208 --> 00:20:59,538 hit it a few hundred times with a cinder block, 408 00:20:59,625 --> 00:21:01,705 then I ran over it with my buddy's steam roller. 409 00:21:03,250 --> 00:21:06,130 I'll never have to hear Chuck Banner's dumb voice again. 410 00:21:06,250 --> 00:21:08,170 Chuck: It's time to kick butt! Hiyah! 411 00:21:08,250 --> 00:21:09,460 Rudy: What? 412 00:21:09,542 --> 00:21:12,002 - I don't believe it, it still works! - It's time to kick butt! Hiyah! 413 00:21:12,083 --> 00:21:14,833 That's it, I'm finding a volcano and I'm throwing it in! 414 00:21:16,083 --> 00:21:19,043 Chuck: Hiyah! It's time to kick butt! Hiyah! 415 00:21:19,125 --> 00:21:21,325 It's time to kick butt! Hiyah! 416 00:21:21,417 --> 00:21:23,417 It's time to kick butt! Hiyah! 417 00:21:23,500 --> 00:21:24,500 Jerry. 418 00:21:24,583 --> 00:21:26,583 Okay, don't you people judge me. 419 00:21:26,667 --> 00:21:29,287 That clock really is half past awesome. 420 00:21:29,375 --> 00:21:31,535 - Chuck: It's time to kick butt! - Hiyah! 421 00:21:33,125 --> 00:21:35,535 (closing theme music) 422 00:21:56,917 --> 00:21:57,877 Man: Poor soul. 423 00:21:57,959 --> 00:21:58,959 (dog snarls, barks) 424 00:22:02,000 --> 00:22:02,960 Boy: Yes! 32067

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