Original subtitles

(both yelling)

- ( grunts) - (thwacks)

- Winner! - (cheering)

Kim, you just won a match in the All Wasabi Invitational.

This has to be the most amazing moment of your life.

Well, actually, witnessing my sister's birth--

Boring!

It's all tied up.

If we win the last match,

we're the number 1 dojo in the Bobby Wasabi chain.

Jack, you're up. Are you ready?

Well, yeah, but I thought Bobby Wasabi was going to be here.

People, Bobby can show up whenever he wants.

(gong tolls)

Or he's here now.

- Bobby, welcome. - I'm sorry.

I... was hoping to slip in unnoticed.

S, how much is my Pittsburgh dojo winning by, hmm?

Jerry: Whoa, whoa, whoa.

For your information, we're kicking butt.

(laughing)

Oh, that's rich.

Almost as rich as my labradoodle will be when I die.

(laughs)

(clears throat) Seriously, you're-- you're winning?

If we win this last match.

Well, let's do this!

Jack, you can do this.

You want to know why there's a heat wave outside?

Because you're on fire!

Fire! Celebrities first!

Wait, wait, wait! No fire.

Just a pep talk.

Oh, well... (clears throat)

Before the match begins, I have an announcement.

This month, there will be an article on the principles of the Wasabi code

in Karatefancy Magazine!

The winning dojo will receive a gift from me,

and the winning sensei will appear on the cover with me.

- (crowd applauding) - Do you guys know what this means?

If I'm on the cover with Bobby,

people will finally know how great I am.

And humble.

Ho-ho, this is going to be exciting.

Evan, sausage me!

Kim: You got this, Jack.

- Rudy: Let's go, Jack! - Fight!

(grunting)

- Rudy: It's all right, Jack. - Kim: Yeah, come on, Jack.

(grunting)

- (thwacks) - (groans)

- Winner! - (cheering)

We did it, we won!

We're number 1! Whoo!

Come on, Rudy. On our shoulders.

- Once around the dojo. - Uh, no, no, guys!

At no point should my head be higher than Bobby Wasabi.

Ooh, I love shoulder rides.

Okay, kids, let's lift with the legs.

(theme music)

♪ Don't you get all tough with me ♪

♪ I'm saying won't you Come kick it with me? ♪

♪ And we could have a ball Run up the wall ♪

♪ That's just how we do ♪

♪ And no matter how much I chop and punch ♪

♪ It's not as cool As kickin' it with you ♪

♪ Here we go, let's start the party ♪

♪ Chop it up like it's karate ♪

♪ Everybody ♪

♪ Don't you get all tough with me ♪

♪ I'm saying won't you Come kick it with me? ♪

♪ And we could have a ball Run up the wall ♪

♪ That's just how we do ♪

♪ And no matter how much I chop and punch ♪

♪ It's not as cool As kickin' it with you ♪

(upbeat music)

What do you think Bobby's special gift Is going to be?

Oh, I wish it was cash.

My parents turned my cell phone off

because I went over my limit by a few...

thousand texts.

You realize I have to go back to speaking to people?

I don't want to speak to people.

I can't. I won't.

I'm sorry, what?

Forget it.

Hey, Phil, it's a thousand degrees out.

Can you turn the air conditioning up?

(sighs) It is as up as it goes.

I wish I could close and go to the beach.

Today would be a perfect day for me

to be wearing my mankini.

- You wear a-- - Yes, of course!

All the men in my village, we wear them.

The sight of us is the only thing

that drives the seals back into the sea.

I bet a lot of people working here would love to go to the beach.

Well, why don't we bring the beach to them?

All we need is a little sand, the sound of waves...

A wading pool, some beach chairs, some spray misters.

People would pay for a quick little beach experience.

And I can make enough money to turn my phone back on!

What do you say? Partners?

Partners.

Hey, I couldn't help but eve-dropping.

If you guys have a problem with seals on the beach,

- I can-- - Not gonna happen, Phil.

Fine.

But when the seals take over, don't come crying to Phil.

(barks like a seal) It will happen.

Just set it on the mat.

Guys, the gift that Bobby sent us

for winning the tournament is finally here.

- I'll get a crowbar. - Oh, no need.

Third-degree black belt.

I'm always packing two. (smooches)

(yells)

(Rudy giggles)

It's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen.

Um, what is it?

It's a dude.

It's not a dude. It's a piece of film history.

This is a statue of Bobby Wasabi

from his classic 1974 movie Dojo of Wax.

Okay, so it's a dude made of wax.

I don't get it. How is this stupid statue

supposed to show everyone that we're his number 1 dojo?

Don't you dare talk in that tone!

And when Bobby comes here for the picture tomorrow,

you'd better act grateful.

Yo, this thing's kinda creeping me out.

Its eyes are following me everywhere I go-- oh!

Milton, we need to be more aggressive.

Go drum up some business. Try, um...

Kim: Hey, that woman over there.

Since we're partners and I'm in the middle of folding towels,

why don't you go do it? You're just standing there.

Look, this is our beehive.

And in a beehive, there are workers and there's the queen.

Why can't I be the--

Fine.

I'll be the worker.

Hello, ma'am.

I noticed you from across the courtyard

and I must say, you look really hot.

I'd like to take you to the beach, lay you down,

rub oil all over you-- Ow! Ow! Ow!

This is only making you hotter!

Ow! Ow! Ow!

(screaming)

Guys. Guys, I've asked you a hundred times.

Keep the door closed, all right?

I'm trying to keep the air conditioning in, all right?

The statue's made of wax. I need to keep it cool in here.

Okay.

What's that?

Oh, it's a sign we got from my uncle's junkyard.

It used to hang over the men's store downtown.

"We're number 1"?

We didn't take the part that said "In men's underpants."

I never understood why that store closed.

They sold great underpants at a fair price.

Okay. Well, what's the sign doing here?

That dumb statue isn't going to show anyone we won the tournament.

Yeah, it's our way of letting people know we're number 1.

Oh, especially cute girls who can read.

That's right. I have a type.

Come on, at least let us turn it on.

- Let's see what it looks like lit up. - Okay, fine.

- Yes! Go to the other side. - Go ahead and plug it in.

- All right. - Hold up, hold up, ready?

(electricity crackles)

Oh, great. Your cruddy sign blew our power out.

I think our cruddy sign blew the power out.

And it's not just us. The power's out in the whole mall.

- What? - Yeah.

Oh, no. No, no, no!

Oh, there's no air conditioning.

And it's already getting warmer in here.

Oh, no. Oh, this isn't good.

"Exposure to temperatures above 74 degrees will cause statue to soften

and result in permanent disfigurement."

(whimpers) That's it. My life is over.

Bobby's going to be here in four hours for the photo shoot,

and when he gets here, he's going to meet blobby.

(chuckles)

- Blobby Wasabi, that's-- - Shut it, Jerry!

I can just kiss goodbye my cover of Karatefancy magazine.

(sobbing)

This heat wave is going to kill Bobby Wasabi!

(upbeat music)

Rudy, you've gotta calm down. We've just gotta figure this out, okay?

Don't you dare tell me what to do!

All right, just keep fanning Bobby.

Man, this is the worst heat wave this city's ever had.

And because of us, everyone's air conditioning's out.

(sighs) At least no one knows it's our fault.

I know it was your fault!

You karate people, you did this!

Because of your fancy underpants sign, my meat is going bad,

and my goat is drinking out of the toilet bowl.

Phil. Phil, I tried calling an electrician, but they're all busy.

Okay, you come with me to the roof.

If i don't get the power back on,

my wife will go crazy and miss the latest episode

of The Real Housewives of Hakmakistan.

Rudy, what about the statue? What should we do?

Just take him someplace cold.

All right, if it melts,

my dream of being on the cover of Karatefancy melts with it.

Don't worry, nothing's gonna happen to this statue.

All we gotta do is take it someplace cold. Let's go, come on.

Whoa, we should probably bring Bobby with us.

♪ And no matter how much I chop and punch ♪

♪ It's not as cool As kickin' it with you. ♪

This blackout is the best thing that ever happened to us.

With no air conditioning,

people can't wait to get their hot feet into our cool water.

Now go squeegee off the sweaty guy.

I just squeegeed him twice. I think he likes it too much.

Just do it. Towels are expensive.

And when you're done, sell some of this fancy imported water.

It's from the French Alps.

It's from the hose behind Reptile World.

It's called maximizing profits.

Every dime brings me closer to getting my cell phone back on.

(sighs)

This is Dale "Heatwave" Davis,

coming to you live from the Bay view mall.

It is so hot, I literally have a swamp in my pants.

But two young entrepreneurs have found a way

to turn a record-breaking heat wave into cold hard cash.

Oh, it's not just cash, Dale.

We also accept checks and credit cards.

And if you come down between the hours of 5:00 and 6:00,

I'll have the boy fan ya.

I told you I'm not fanning people anymore.

It makes me feel cheap.

I'm sorry. Uh, is this your partner?

Uh, yes, my, uh, silent partner,

who should be fluffing towels right now.

You know, I'm sick and tired of you bossing me around.

Hm. We'll talk about this later.

The man is trying to do a story.

Yeah? You want a story?

- Our sunblock is just mayonnaise. - (gasps)

And we made our lemonade with pool water.

I-- that's it! This interview is over!

Head on down. Free fans.

This is Dale Davis reporting live from the Bay view mall.

And we're out. I had some of that lemonade.

Rudy: Are you sure you know what you're doing?

Trust me, Rudy.

In my country, I am the village electrician.

I know all about the new technologies.

Okay.

(sighs)

There is your problem.

Where is the goat?

Phil: Where is the treadmill?

Where is the carrot on a stick that the goat chases on the treadmill

to make the power happen?

Get out of the way, please.

Well, maybe if I reset the circuit breaker,

the power will go back on.

(meowing)

That's your problem.

You can't send a cat to do a goat's job.

That's Tip-tip.

He probably just climbed in there to get out of the heat.

(clanks)

(power humming)

(chuckles)

It worked! The air conditioner's back on.

Our problems are over!

Hey, Rudy, be careful there, okay? The compressor just kicked in.

It's going to send out a blast of air.

I think I can handle a little air, Phil.

- (whooshes) - (thuds)

Rudy? Rudy?

Where's Rudy?

Oh!

These are some fancy shoes.

Rudy, I found some great shoes! You want one?

♪ Come kick it with me ♪

(screaming)

Ma'am, ma'am, ma'am, it's okay, it's okay.

I put him there. He's not alive.

- (woman gasps) - (screaming)

(both shrieking)

(upbeat music)

- (whistle blows) - Man on P.A.: Blizzards' Mancini

goes to the box for a two-minute penalty.

Hey, puckweed, find another penalty box. This one's taken.

Whoa! Whoa!

- (thwacking) - Jerry: Oh! Ow! Ow! Ow!

I don't think you should be eating that fish.

It's for the penguins.

Oh, no, this little guy doesn't mind.

See, that's the thing about penguins. They're very generous.

- Right, little cutie? - His mother doesn't seem too happy.

No, no, dude, trust me. These penguins are really--

(Jerry shrieking)

♪ Hey, hey ♪

♪ Come on, kickin' it with you ♪

(whistles)

It sure is hot.

You know, a lot of stores in this mall give me a discount

on account of I'm mall security and all.

Uh, sorry, Joan, we don't give discounts.

Oh. Oh, okay, I see how we're gonna play it.

Game on.

I'm gonna need to see your sand permit.

(chuckles)

Uh, please enjoy your free beach experience.

Mm-hm, that's what I thought.

Ah!

(sighs)

Milton, okay, I had an idea,

and put together a beach value pack.

It has seaweed necklaces and sun reflectors.

Now I want you to push them, push them hard!

I'm not selling these!

First of all, sun reflectors are dangerous.

Second of all, these seaweed necklaces are just wilted lettuce.

It's called maximizing profits.

It's called ripping people off.

- I quit. - What? Get back here!

- Don't you dare! - Ugh.

It's little Tip-tip. Hi.

Aww.

Wait, why is he turning around like that?

(ominous music playing)

Oh, he thinks that the sand is a litter box.

Oh, no! Oh, dear!

Everybody-- (blows whistle)

- Evacuate the beach! - (screams)

Evacuate the beach! This is not a drill!

We've got a code brown! Doody on the beach!

- Doody on the beach! - Come back!

I'll have the boy clean it.

They're not coming back, are they?

Would you?

No.

Okay, you guys, this way.

Jack: Open the door. Yeah, there we go.

- Oh, yes! - Yes!

Oh, Bobby, you're back.

I'm so happy. I never thought I'd see you again.

You're limping. What happened?

Nothing much. Just fixed the power, got blown off the roof,

landed in front of the veterinary hospital.

Nice people. They patched me up and gave me a coupon for a free flea bath.

Hey, where's your shoes?

I have no idea.

What happened to him?

- Oh. - Old lady, hockey player, angry penguin.

We've all been there.

Guys, Bobby's going to be here in one hour for the photo shoot.

He's right. Everyone put on your gi's.

I want you all sparring when Bobby gets here.

Why don't you go next door and get yourself a flea bath?

You smell like fish.

Oh, swag!

(screaming)

I can't believe it. How did this happen?

Oh, oh, Bobby.

Oh, Bobby. It's not so bad.

Your legs just got a little soft, that's all.

We'll just go call the doc.

He'll fix you up. He'll fix you up real good.

I can't tell if I'm talking to his face or his butt.

I think it's a little bit of both.

I don't get it. It's cool in here.

The air conditioning is back on.

That reflector out on the beach is shooting a beam of sun in here.

There's nothing left but a melted mound of man.

It should have been me! It should've--

- Bobby, you're early. - (camera shutter clicking)

How is my number 1 dojo?

Rudy, are you ready for our picture?

(gasps)

Is that the statue that I gave you?

I honor this dojo with a gift,

and this, this is how you repay me?

(sighs)

I thought you'd turned this dojo around,

but I was wrong.

There will be no cover of Karatefancy for you.

Wait!

It wasn't Rudy. It was me.

I put up a weird number 1 sign

because I wanted everyone to know that we won the tournament.

And it caused a blackout.

It was me too.

Rudy taught us true champions don't have to brag.

Especially with a second hand underpants sign.

It was my fault. I was angry at Kim,

so I threw down the sun reflector which melted the statue.

I love science, but she can be a cruel mistress.

No, Milton, I'm to blame.

I was so obsessed with getting my phone turned back on

that I went all psycho boss on you.

I'm sorry.

I'm confused! Who is responsible for melting me?

All: I am.

Guys, thanks,

but this is my dojo, and I'm responsible for what happens here.

Bobby, with all due respect,

Rudy is a great sensei.

Boo-hoo, we melted your man candle.

Get over it!

Well, maybe you're right...

little cute, terrifying girl.

But what i just saw here...

is what the Wasabi code is all about.

Honor...

Friendship...

And loyalty.

I'm not quite sure how the underpants fit in

or why that one has a dog bow in his hair.

But I do know...

this dojo is number 1.

And you're right, Jack.

Everyone should see that.

- Uh... - No! No, no, no.

I don't think you should--

(crackles)

(electricity powers down)

Looks like your cruddy sign blew out the power.

(wheezing laughter)

Bye.

♪ Kickin' it with you ♪

Hey, guys.

Hey, how was the photo shoot for Karatefancy ?

Only the highlight of my life.

Oh. Hey, I don't get it.

The power's out in the rest of the mall, but Phil has power.

Okay, tootsie,

- time to turn on the blender. - (bleating)

Get on your treadmill and run, baby, run like the wind.

Yeah, you like your new shoes, huh?

My shoes!

Hey, finder keeper!

(upbeat music)

(closing theme music)