Original subtitles

(upbeat music)

Man, I can't handle health class anymore.

Yeah, I took that class.

When they showed the video of the whale having a baby,

I almost gave birth to my lunch.

Well, Grace asked me to be her health class partner.

We had to take care of an egg and pretend that it was our baby.

How'd that work out for you?

Yo, I couldn't take the pressure.

This morning I snapped, fried up our baby and ate it.

Big news, everyone. Big news!

Thanks to a winning essay by Kim Crawford,

our school has won a concert

from international mega popstar,

Ricky Weaver!

Mr. Squires: Carry on.

I can't believe I won!

Well, wait. Kim, you're into Ricky Weaver?

Uh, no.

- I'm not even sure who Ricky Weaver is. - Oh.

Really, Kim?

'Cause your locker's a huge fan.

♪ Stay by my side ♪

- (laughing) - Eddie: Dude.

Thanks a lot, Grace.

Fine.

I love him. I downloaded all of his music.

And now I'm gonna meet him.

(squeals) Ricky!

I'm beginning to think she knows who Ricky is.

Mm-hm.

Jerry,

we have health class next period.

Where's our baby?

(burps)

(theme music)

♪ Don't you get all tough with me ♪

♪ I'm saying won't you Come kick it with me? ♪

♪ And we can have a ball run up the wall ♪

♪ This is how we do ♪

♪ And no matter how much I chop and punch ♪

♪ It's not as cool As kickin' it with you ♪

♪ Here we go, let's start the party ♪

♪ Chop it up like it's karate ♪

♪ Everybody ♪

♪ Don't you get all tough with me ♪

♪ I'm saying won't you Come kick it with me? ♪

♪ And we can have a ball run up the wall ♪

♪ This is how we do ♪

♪ And no matter how much I chop and punch ♪

♪ It's not as cool As kickin' it with you ♪

(upbeat music)

- (whooshing) - (yelling)

Okay, good.

Solid contact, great form. Just try to bring your foot down a little lower.

(whooshing)

- (thuds) - Oh.

(high-pitched voice) Okay, a little too low.

Hi.

Oh, yeah.

I mean, who knows, Grace?

He could part his hair on the left or the right.

That's just what makes Ricky, Ricky.

I can't believe because of you,

that over-gelled pretty boy is coming to our school.

I think he's got a doll's head.

Jack, it's so predictable that a guy like you would be jealous of Ricky

What? I'm not... I'm not jealous!

Mm-hm.

I just don't get what the big deal is.

Yeah.

I don't get it either. What do girls see in him?

I have everything he does.

Really? You have talent, good looks and a private jet?

Well, I have talent, good looks, and my sister's three-speed bike.

Whoa!

You guys sound like a bunch of haters.

You know, back in the day, I was the lead singer in a boy band.

All: Mm-hm.

What? Straight up, yo.

I was in a tight little outfit called, "Just Us Guyz."

With a "Z."

That's what made it cool.

Check it.

(grunts)

(signs off-pitch) ♪ Hush, girl, don't tell no one else ♪

♪ It's called a secret, So keep it to yourself ♪

♪ Secret, mm-mm ♪

♪ Shh ♪

Wow,

just...

wow!

(mouths)

I know what your secret was.

- You were awesome! - Yeah, man, that was great!

Well, there's more where that came from.

Uh, unfortunately, It's on a cassette

that's been stuck in my car's tape deck for five years, but...

you guys wanna hear it?

- Come on, let's go. - Yeah.

- Rudy: All right. - Uh, you guys go ahead. I'm good.

Milton: Rudy, what's a cassette?

I'm looking for Kim Crawford.

I know you. Uh...

You're the guy. Uh, what is it?

(squeals) Ricky Weaver!

What's up, Kim?

Guys, it's cool. Wait in the limo.

I thought I'd stop by and say

"Hey!" before the show.

Ricky, you're... you're...

You're here. You're standing in our dojo!

Uh uh, Ricky, this is, uh...

(snapping)

Uh...

- Jack? - Jack, that's it.

Ah, what's up?

Kim, I really loved the essay you wrote.

If it's cool with you, I'd like to bring you up onstage tonight to dance with me.

I'm gonna... I'm gonna be dancing with you in front of the whole school?

(heavy breathing)

This is gonna make Grace's head explode!

(giggling, snorting)

Wow!

(snorts) Smooth.

Jack!

Kim, just make sure you wear something cute.

Cute? Of... of course, I'll wear something cute.

(nervous chuckle)

I mean, I'm not gonna go up there not wearing something cute.

I just gotta find something cute.

I'm gonna go to the cute store.

Am I saying out loud?

Uh, I gotta go.

Bye, Kim.

(snorts)

Seriously, I will hurt you.

(laughs) I knew it was you!

This day, today is a crazy day.

Can you believe it, Jack? Ricky Weaver is right here in our mall!

This is falafel Phil.

He owns the restaurant across the way.

Ricky, Ricky, Ricky.

You must come to my store and take a picture with me

next to my shawarma meat.

I'd love to take a picture, but really gotta get going.

- Maybe I can come back. - Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait.

Hey, what happened here, huh?

We were just having moments of good time,

and now the walls come down and I'm just a crazy meat-man

with a goat friend in the kitchen?

You've got a goat in your kitchen?

Uh, what? Did I say goat?

No, no, no, I meant microwave.

Is okay. You go.

When you come back, I'm going to name a kebab after you.

"Ricky on a sticky."

Oh, this is great one.

It is going to sell. Even more than falafel on a waffle. Oh!

Okay. So, uh...

you met Phil.

Oh man, the paparazzi showed up.

How do these guys find me?

Dude, you've got a purple hummer with spinning rims,

and a license plate that says "Weavermobile."

I'm gonna make a run for the parking lot.

Later.

- Paparazzi 1: There here is. - Paparazzi 2: Ricky Ricky.

Hope you don't mess up your pretty doll hair.

(media clamoring)

Okay, guys, that's enough. Come on!

Ricky, we'll tell you when it's enough. Just come over here

- right there, right there. - Over here, over here.

Hey, hey, come on, guys. Take it easy. You heard the man. He wants to leave.

Won't you mind your own business, punk?

(thuds)

- We got a good shot. - Shoving?

You see, I'm not a fan of the shoving.

- (yelling) - (grunting)

(shutter clicks)

(upbeat music)

(upbeat music continues)

Wow, you just took out six guys.

Seven, actually.

But who's counting, right?

You like cheeseburgers?

Yeah, sure. Who doesn't like cheeseburgers?

I can't believe we went to San Francisco for a cheeseburger!

What's the fun in having a private jet if you don't use it?

Ah. Thanks, beautiful.

How about some music? Do you like Jay-Z?

Sure. Who doesn't like Jay-Z?

Yo, Jay-Z, when you get out of the hot tub, come up here and jam with us.

(scoffs) Yeah, right.

Hey, Beyonce, why don't you bring us up some peanuts?

(chuckles)

Beyonce: Forget that.

I just got in the hot tub.

My bad, B.

(upbeat music)

♪ Kickin' it with you! ♪

Kim, you gotta take this seriously, okay?

Dancing in public is a big deal.

- You mess up, you're gonna look stupid. - Milton: He's right.

Sometimes when you throw your hands in the air,

and wave 'em like you just don't care,

your pants fall down.

Fine. Let's practice.

Cool. I'll be Kim. You'll be Ricky.

How about I be Kim since I already am Kim?

Hmm...

My way's better, but that works too.

Okay.

Help her out, guys. You're in the crowd, so...

So, everybody give me some of that

"I love Ricky" energy.

- Okay? - Mm-hmm.

- (pop music playing) - Ricky!

(whimpering, panting)

(mouthing) ♪ When the day turns cold ♪

♪ And the skies are gray

♪ I'll always be there ♪

♪ I'll always be there ♪

♪ When you walk alone ♪

♪ On a rainy day ♪

Jerry: Whoa, whoa, whoa!

- What'd you call that? - Uh, dancing.

Uh, uh, uh.

That was not dancing.

That was a crime against dancing.

For your information, when I dance,

people stop and stare.

Oh, really?

Do they look like this?

(all gasp)

(chuckles)

- You know, - (door closes)

we're better that that tool Ricky Weaver.

I mean, we've got the moves and I...

I've certainly got the looks.

You know, we could start a group and be the ones with the money and the girls.

Yeah, all we need is a lead singer.

Hey guys, check it out.

I found the dope gear I used to rock when I was in Just Us Guyz.

Jerry: Rudy, we wanna form a boy band.

How about you join us? You've been where we want to go.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Just Us Guyz was the most popular act ever...

among my family members.

Oh, when that band broke up,

it broke my heart.

I don't know if I've ever really gotten over it.

It will take a lot for me to come out of retirement.

You can be the lead singer.

I am in!

- Yeah. - Yeah.

(upbeat music)

Oh! Uh,

Mr. Weaver,

I was getting a little worried. You know... show starts in an hour.

I had Ernie the janitor standing by to take your place.

He's never really given up on his rock dream.

(rock music playing)

Ernie!

Not gonna happen.

Hey, have a great show, Ricky. And thanks for the cheeseburger.

Oh, and thank Jay-Z for signing my barf bag.

Yo, hang on, Jack.

Can I ask you something about Kim?

If it's about the whole...

(snorts) ...thing, it's new to me too.

She's just so psyched that she won the essay contest.

Ah, it's not really a contest.

My record company makes me do these dumb school concerts,

so, I just go through the pictures,

and pick out the hottest girl.

You know what I'm saying?

(chuckles)

Wait,

so, that's why Kim won?

Because she's the hottest girl?

Yeah. Why?

You guys don't have a thing, do you?

No.

Cool. Because after I dance with her,

I'm gonna bring her backstage, make my move on her,

then dump her.

Ricky, the hair team's chopper just landed on the football field.

Probably for the best, we're losing by 30 points anyway.

Ricky is a sleazebag.

I've gotta tell Kim.

(rock music playing)

Let it go, Ernie. It's not gonna happen, okay?

♪ Kickin' it with you! ♪

Ladies and gentlemen,

give it up for the Black Belt Boys singing their brand-new hit,

"Love Ninja."

(upbeat music playing)

♪ You snuck into my heart Just like a ninja ♪

♪ I'ma buy you Sushi with some "ginja" ♪

♪ One day I'll put a ring Around your "finja" ♪

All: ♪ You're my love ninja, my samurai ♪

♪ You're my love ninja, my samurai ♪

♪ You're my love ninja, my samurai ♪

♪ If I can't have you, girl ♪

♪ I will die. ♪.

Nice!

We are tight, all right, and out of sight!

It's just a thing we used to say back in the day.

By "the day" do you mean the 1800s?

I think we sound pretty good.

Good? Dude, we're total swag!

You can't keep making up words and hoping they catch on.

Yo, why gotta come at me with all that flidge?

Now, we just need a place to play.

No, have it.

Ricky Weaver's gonna launch our careers.

We're gonna open for him tonight at the school.

Clearly, we're the greatest musical act In the history of the world.

But how are we gonna get on that stage?

Security's gonna be all over the place.

No. Security won't be a problem.

You guys are not just musical artists...

You are martial artists.

Now, what's the name of our song?

- All: "Love Ninja?" - I can't hear you.

All: "Love Ninja!"

And that's exactly how we're gonna take the stage.

Ninja style!

- Yeah! - Whoo!

- (thuds) - Ow!

♪ Kickin' it with you! ♪

Oh. Kim, there you are!

Wow!

I've never seen you in a dress before!

Are you wearing lip gloss?

No!

Why? Does it look okay?

There's something you should know about Ricky.

The contest you won was a fake.

He just looked at your picture and thought you were cute.

Ricky is not that shallow, Jack.

He seriously thought I was cute?

After the concert he's gonna take you backstage,

make a move on you and then dump you.

He does it in every city.

I know what this is about, Jack.

You don't like Ricky, so you're making up lies about him

to make him sound like some kind of monster.

He is a monster!

A private-jet-flying, San Francisco burger-buying,

and hot-tubing, doll-haired monster!

Okay, that's just a big bowl of word salad!

♪ And no matter how much I chop and punch ♪

♪ it's not as cool As kickin' it with you! ♪

Oh...

You guys are gonna make the greatest entrance ever!

Here's the plan...

when you hear me say, "Give it up for the Black Belt Boys,"

you jump on the ziplines, fly through the air and land on the stage.

Rudy, I have to hold my mother's hand when I cross the street,

so, flying through the air is the kind of thing she wanna know about.

Guys, it's a zipline.

How hard can it be? You just get on it, you know...

zip!

Why aren't you zipping with us?

We're 60 feet up in the air! Are you crazy?!

Now, let's give it up for our beloved school mascot.

Whaley the whale!

(audience cheering)

Yo, yo, yo! What's up, Seaford? Are you ready to party?

(audience cheering)

Security!

All right, before we bring our Ricky,

put your hands together for the newest music sensation...

Singing "Love Ninja,"

Give it up for the Black Belt Boys!

(audience cheering)

("Love Ninja" playing)

♪ You snuck into my heart Just like a ninja ♪

(all yelling)

Let go!

Whoa!

- (thuds) - (rumbles)

Black Belt Boys, out!

- (yelling) - (clamoring)

Uh, okay, I don't know what that was.

But now, for the person you're really here to see...

Ricky Weaver!

(audience cheering)

♪ When the day turns cold ♪

♪ And the skies are gray ♪

♪ I'll always be there ♪

- Excuse me. - ♪ I'll always be there ♪

Jack, you're unbelievable! What are you doing here?

I'm not letting you up there.

Jack, I'm dancing with Ricky.

♪ Stay by my side ♪

What are you doing? Let go of me.

I love you so much, I promise.

Jack, let go of me!

Hey, just one second.

Let go!

- (thuds) - Ow!

♪ Baby, baby ♪

Kim, he's a sleazebag!

(upbeat music)

Hey, great plan, Rudy!

We blew our big shot.

I mean, I'm still gonna get girls, but did you ever think about Milton and Eddie?

You know what, guys? This isn't my fault.

Professionals would have bounced off that wall and started singing.

The problem is you boys are soft.

That's it! I'm going solo.

- I'm going solo with you! - Yeah!

Fine by me. I'm done with you guys.

All: Good.

You know, it was kind of cool to be back onstage again.

I miss what we had.

I don't even remember why we broke up.

Me neither. So many good memories.

I love you guys. We've gotta get the band back together.

- He's right. - We were meant to perform.

We are a boy band!

All: Yeah!

Did you say boy band?

I was boy band.

The Hach-Mach Boys!

Who could forget our hit single,

"Baby's Got da Noush"?

♪ Yalla habibi, Baby's got da noush ♪

♪ You got the noush, baby, I got da noush ♪

Kim!

Kim!

(panting)

Kim: Have a nice flight, Ricky.

- Oh! - (crashes)

- Are you okay? - Yeah, Jack, I'm fine.

And looks like you were right.

Congratulations.

Ah, bye-bye, Ricky.

Wow.

She throws pretty good for a girl.

Looks like you messed around with the wrong person.

I don't understand.

She's the first girl in 20 schools who wouldn't let me kiss her.

Kim's not like the others.

On the outside she's like a cute little lamb,

but on the inside she's like a vicious killer lamb.

Yeah well, I'll be in Kansas tomorrow.

You should see the chick that won that contest.

It's good to be famous.

Not always.

What do you mean?

Hold on a second.

Hey guys, he's in here.

(paparazzi clamoring)

- (grunts) - (thuds)

- Ricky: No, no, no! - (shutters clicking)

(groans) No, stop it!

- Ah, bye-bye, Ricky. - Ricky: Please stop.

Please, stop! Please, no!

(groans)

(upbeat music)

Hey. I saw the light on.

What are you doing here?

- Just a little late-night workout. - Jack: Hmm.

Hey uh... Jack, just so we're clear,

You know I can take care of myself, right?

Yeah, I know.

You just won the gold medal on the Ricky toss.

Thanks for having my back, Jack.

No problem.

You know...

I had some really expensive cheeseburgers for lunch today.

But you know what? I think the ones at Circus Burger are actually better.

You wanna grab one?

Sure.

Jerry: Milton? Milton, what's wrong with you, man?

I don't know how you do that. Are you dumb?

(overlapping dialogue)

Yo, no! I'm telling you, Phil,

you cannot be in the group anymore.

What? Why?

Because you are a stage hog!

What?

(gasping, coughing)

Goat hairball. Sorry.

How dare you?

I don't even want to be in your group anymore, Rudy.

I'm going to form my own.

Eddie, do you want to be in my group?

No.

- Milton? - No.

- Jerry? - No!

Good news, Rudy. I'm back in the group.

One, two, three!

♪ Yalla habibi, baby got da noush ♪

♪ Yalla habibi, baby got da noush ♪

Let's go!

♪ Yalla habibi, baby got da noush ♪

♪ Baby got da noush, baby got da noush♪

That's it.

♪ Yalla habibi, baby got da noush ♪

Okay!

(closing theme music)