Original subtitles

♪♪ [theme]

♪ Kick, kick ♪

♪ Kick, kick, kick ♪

♪ Kick Buttowski ♪

♪ Kick ♪

♪ Kick ♪

♪ Kick Buttowski ♪

♪ Kick, kick ♪

♪ Kick, kick ♪ ♪ Kick Buttowski ♪

♪ Kick, kick ♪

♪ Kick ♪

♪ Kick ♪

♪ Kick Buttowski ♪

♪ Kick Buttowski ♪

[crash]

[bird screeches] [bird cawing]

[Announcer] Stunting legend, Boom McCondor.

You've seen me, Boom McCondor,

risk life and limb for absolutely no reason.

Caw-caw!

[snarling] [laughs]

Caw-caw-caw!

Caw-caw!

[screams]

Now is your chance to join me--

Caw-caw!

...in beautiful Hawaii where I'll attempt

the stunt to end all stunts.

Warning, stunt to end all stunts may also end

walking, breathing, and blinking.

This is it, Gunther.

May entire life has been building to this moment--

the chance to do a stunt with Boom McCondor.

Caw-caw!

Just be one of two callers to win the chance to compete

in a Boom-Approved Scavenger Hunt.

And the winner gets an all expense paid trip to Hawaii

for the stunt to end all stunts.

Contest begins at the Call of the Condor.

Oh, I've got that covered.

Wow, where did you get all the phones, Kick?

Now, I just got to wait for the call the of-- [condor screeches]

[phones dial]

[dial tones]

[line rings]

Gunther, it's ringing.

[Announcer] Congratulations, you are caller number two.

You've won a chance to do the stunt to end all stunts

with Boom McCondor.

You know, we don't have parachutes.

Parachutes? We don't need no stinking parachutes.

Caw-caw!

Caw-caw!

I wonder who was caller number one.

Boom Mc-- What you say?

Hawaii?

Why is that part of your fantasy?

Don't judge me.

Face it, Brad.

You can't win this.

You don't even like Boom McCondor.

I don't even know who Boink McBingo is,

but I'm winning this thing and going to Hawaii.

Because I'm older, bigger, and stronger.

It's true, Kick. Brad is all of those things.

Plus, he's not nice.

Peanut?

Hey, that's nice.

[cries out]

Give up now, dilweed

because the Brad will triumph.

Those Hawaiian babes know I'm on the way

and, oh, are they calling.

Yeah, for help.

Good one, Gunther.

Here you go.

Oh, why thank you. I--

[screams]

[crowd cheers]

[Announcer] Welcome, everybody.

Welcome to the Mellowbrook TV contest event.

Buttowski versus Buttowski?

Why we haven't had a sibling competition

since the Chicarelli twins swimsuit contest.

Clip removed by broadcast standards and practices.

[all groan]

All right, folks.

Boom will be landing any minute into this pool full

of delicious gouda cheese.

Release me, baby. [screeches]

Boom McCondor in person?

Caw-caw, people.

[crowd groans]

Oh, man, I thought gouda was a soft cheese.

Let's hear it for Boom McCondor and his freaky feats.

[crowd cheers]

That was not a freaky feat.

[rats chittering]

Caw-caw!

[elephants trumpet]

That was a freaky feat.

[both] Caw-caw!

This old competition is gonna show me

who's extreme enough to join me in the stunt to end all stunts.

Warning, stunt to end all stunts may also end

whistling, stamp licking, and nostril functions.

Let's be honest.

Is a stunt really a stunt

if you don't risk your nostril functions?

I hear that, Boom. I hear that.

And now for the rules.

Announcer, bring me my explaining hat.

Each location holds two cards

leading you to the next location.

You must return with every card plus this skate wheel.

♪♪ [choir sings]

The last remaining piece of my first skateboard, Betsy.

She's now in a million pieces

at the bottom of the Grand Canyon.

Just like the real Betsy.

Anyway, cross the finish line

with this in your hand

and I'll know you're ready to stunt with me.

Now, you won't know how many trails you'll face

or which one will lead to the skate wheel.

♪♪ [choir sings]

And don't bother following the angelic effects

because I'm turning them off.

[Angels] Bread and butter, bread and butter.

Good luck.

And this hat will self-destructed in--

Now.

Gunther, pack our bags. We're going to Hawaii.

Hooray.

Peanut?

No way. I'm not as dumb as I--

Oh, lightly salted.

[can pops] [Gunther screams]

All aboard the Brad Express.

Non-stop service to Hawaii.

[snickers]

Caw-caw!

[condor screeches]

The hunt as begun.

[Brad] I'll send you a picture of the beach, loser.

[chuckles]

No dilweeds in sight. Hawaii, here I come.

I'm doing that stunt, Brad.

Ha-ha! Here's mud in your eye, loser.

Yeah, Brad.

What goes around comes around.

[cries out]

Classic, Boom, classic.

[phone dials] Horace, Pantsy,

one of you is gonna join me on a trip to Hawaii.

So you better get your cheating shoes on.

Send you a picture of the beach, loser.

[Announcer] Oh, no, folks.

Looks like little brother is gonna have to start

back at the beginning.

I was hoping you'd say that.

Ow.

[cries out]

Sorry, Brad.

Sorry?

Do you want to go to Hawaii or not?

Well, yeah, but those balls can leave nasty bruises.

So can my fist.

[Kick] Fore!

What did I tell you, Brad? Cheaters never--

Fore!

More like dilweeds never.

Where to next?

[strains]

Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow.

[phone rings]

Not the best time, Gunther.

Kick, I can't tell which is your Friday jumpsuit.

Got to go, Gunther. Card four awaits.

Remember, Kick, it's for Boom McCondor.

Here, birdie, birdie, birdie, birdie, birdie, birdie.

Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow!

Four cards down. Four more to--

[laughs]

Try it again, dilweed.

I hear bread suits are in style.

[laughs]

Hope you guys are still hungry.

[ducks quacking]

[tube snaps]

[gurgles]

[gasps]

[groans]

Widow Makers Peak?

I'm still in this.

Good work, Gunther.

Now, get to the station, I'm about to win this thing.

Get that wheel!

Cheaters.

Pantsy, the net.

Never.

Oh, man.

[all scream]

[alligator hisses]

[screams]

Win.

Let's cross that finish line and go to Hawaii.

Brad gave this can of macadamia nuts to celebrate.

Nuts? Gunther, no!

No!

[laughs]

We have a winner.

Why are you dancing? I'm the one going to Hawaii.

No, I am.

[scuffling]

Caw-caw!

Congratulations, unibrow, you're going to Hawaii.

[screeches]

Where you'll be my partner

in the stunt to end all stunts.

Warning, stunt to end all stunts may also end

smiling, ability to think freely, and life itself.

Stunt?

I don't want to do some stupid stunt.

I'm gonna hang out on the beach with the babes.

Let me be clear, rat face.

Either you do the stunt or you forfeit the win.

Okay, fine, I'll do the stupid stunt.

See you later, dilweed.

Cheaters always win.

[screams]

[beeping sounds]

[screams]

[screams]

Hey, quit rewinding so loud.

Sure thing, Brad.

I'm just glad Mom and Dad

made you take me to Hawaii.

It wasn't supposed to be like this.

Like I said, Brad.

Cheater's never win.

[Boom] Caw-caw!

Dude.

Boom McCondor?

You keep watching that stunt.

I thought you might like to give it a try, baby.

Caw-caw!

[sighs]

[condor screeches]

[Gunther] Setting the record for

the Rank of Awesome, Global Book of Awesome

is must for all who call themselves daredevils.

Dirt Bike Mike's record

for most broken bones in a single crash.

Rock Callahan's record

for longest skid mark.

Billy Stumps' record

for most wheels in the air at one time.

And soon Kick Buttowski

will break the record for most consecutive jumps on a single ramp.

Now, if we can only figure out how not to crash.

With only one day to practice, I don't even know how you got

the Rank of Awesome Guy to come back after last time.

[sirens sound]

Oh, the horror.

That's it. I'm never coming back.

But failure is just our fuel for success.

And nothing is gonna keep me out of the Book of Awesome.

[thunderclap]

Something's amiss.

[gasps]

Cousin Kyle is here.

[gasps] Cousin Kyle.

Surprise. It's me, Cousin Kyle.

Maybe he didn't see us yet.

Hey, guys, what are you doing up here?

[screams]

I can see my RV from here.

Are you gonna crash? Can I have your bike if you do?

I like pickles.

Defeat has just been ripped from the jaws of victory.

Hey, where are you going? Why are you walking away?

I like role playing games.

Aren't you gonna do your stunt thing? Not anymore.

Why? Why not? How come, huh?

Does your last visit ring a bell?

[sirens sound]

Oh, the horror.

That's it. I'm never coming back.

Oopsie.

So you quit? You're quitting? You're a quitter?

No, I'm postponing. I'm a postponer.

Great, so we can hang out and you can see my marionettes

and I can show you my magic tricks and so much more!

Okay, the stunts back on.

Awesome. Well, when is it gonna be.

Not that it matters though because I'm here all weekend.

All weekend?

[cries out]

All weekend?

All weekend.

[crowd clamoring]

Bye, Mom. Miss you. See you later, alligator. Take care.

Hi, everyone.

[all scream]

What are we gonna do, Kick?

We're gonna do the stunt, but we need a plan.

Why are we whispering?

Do you like beef jerky?

I do because one time I ate up all the meat

and all that was left was a web of fat.

Honey is bee barf.

Ooh, a loose screw.

Good thing I found it.

[rumbling]

[screams]

Somebody could've got hurt.

When they put Humpty Dumpty back together

what do you think they used? I think they used duct tape.

Dogs sweat out of their mouths so what are their armpits for?

Why do round pizzas come in square boxes?

Did you ever notice people drive on parkways and park on driveways?

Do you say Illinois or "Illinoise."

Kyle, if you're gonna be up here with us,

you have to be absolutely quiet.

Understand?

Loud and clear. You don't have to worry about me.

Mums the word. I'll be as quiet as a mouse like I'm not even here.

Do you smell popcorn? [mumbles]

Don't be nervous, Gunther.

I'm not.

Then why are you shaking?

It's not me.

The cork's not holding!

He's going to explode!

I before E except after C.

Oopsie.

You know what's weird?

Just ignore it and it will go away.

I'm allergic to bee stings.

Did you hear anything, Gunther?

Nope, nothing here. So I like honey.

Just you and me. But I don't like bee stings.

Just you and me. No siree.

With no one to distract us.

I wonder what bees are allergic to.

No distractions.

Probably peanut butter.

And nobody to get in the way of me practicing my stunt

for the Global Book of Awesome.

I like peanut butter.

Not a one. But not if it's chunky.

Because them little pieces get stuck on my teeth.

I can't take it anymore!

[screams]

I guess Gunther doesn't like chunky peanut butter either.

This clearly isn't working.

Sorry you ruined Kick's stunt, Gunther.

But I know what will make it all better!

Puppet show.

I think you've done enough.

Wait, Kick, Kyle's only trying to help.

And maybe a puppet show would cheer me up.

Psst, I'll distract him while you practice your stunt.

Well, if you think it'll make you feel better then--

You're about to experience the most passionate love story

of this or any time.

I take it back, Kick. I don't want a puppet show.

Kick?

Introducing the lovely and enchanting--

It's all for Kick. Pretend to like it for Kick.

Lady Lala.

[gasps] She's beautiful.

Don't you come any closer.

Hands off the maiden, you brute.

Haha. [screams]

I'll save you, Lady Lala.

[scuffling]

Finally, I can practice.

Et tu, Gunther?

Don't worry, Kick. I can be Gunther.

I'll do whatever you need. And I can even join you on your stunt--

Never. I work alone. Then I'll be your assistant.

[phone rings]

Assistant to Kick Buttowski speaking.

Uh-huh. Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

It's the representative of The Global Book of Awesome.

Uh-Huh, you're coming tomorrow.

Uh-Huh, Kick's last chance

to get into the book.

Okay, very good. And I like orange cats.

[dial tone]

He said--

I heard what he said.

Orange cats.

I don't see any spare helmets, Kick. Are you sure it's in here?

I don't see any spare helmets. You sure it's in here?

Keep looking.

Here you go. No.

No, that's a bowling ball.

Just keep looking.

Huh?

Finally.

Found it. Huh?

Wee.

You wouldn't believe it. I had to walk home with my socks on my hands.

Where are we going? I've been abandoned, but never in an abandoned building.

And one time a dog ate my retainer.

But it didn't fix his teeth.

And this other time

and old lady game me candy that tasted like purse.

No!

You're unstoppable!

Come back, I'm running and I'm made of metal.

[gasps]

[sighs]

It was only a nightmare.

And he just lies there sleeping like a baby.

Wait a second. If Kyle's asleep,

then I should suit up.

♪♪ [theme song plays quietly]

Shh.

[door squeaks]

Sweat dreams, Cousin--

[screams]

You aren't gonna practice your stunt without me where you?

Because I'm ready!

Ow, ow.

Ow, ow.

[alarm sounds]

[alarm continues]

Didn't want you to sleep in. We got a big day ahead of us.

Walk, walk, walk, walk, walk.

Brush, brush, brush.

Wash, wash, wash.

Munch, munch, much.

[phone rings] I'll get it.

Assistant to Kick Buttowski speaking.

Uh-Huh. Uh-Huh.

What? Mm-hmm. Yeah. You're coming early?

Early?

Not a problem. We've been practicing.

And I'm wearing brand-new underwear.

Bye, now. Kick you had a phone call.

Kick?

I've got to practice.

Well, what are we waiting for?

Ding-dong.

Shouldn't we be practicing?

I've got to practice my stunt.

I've got to get rid of this guy.

You know what? Big Foot is real.

I saw him at a truck show. Oh, and sand, it's fish poop.

Are we there yet?

[sighs]

[Kyle] ♪ 423 bottles of root beer on the wall ♪

♪ 423 bottles of root beer,

♪ Take one down and pass it around♪

♪ 422 bottles of root beer on the wall ♪

Hey, Kick.

Meet my new friends, Vadic and Sergei.

Kyle, nyet.

Me and Lady Lala brought you a snow globe.

[grunts]

That's it!

All I wanted to do was practice my stunt in peace,

but thanks to you I'll never get in The Book of Awesome.

Kick, no, don't.

[scuffling]

Kyle, you need to get us out of this before the representative--

Uh-hum.

What a waste of time.

All this way to get tangled in a ball of failure.

I'd make this as a fail, if I could reach my pen.

Kick, I can't help, but feel partly responsible for your failure.

Oh, no, I didn't fail.

What do you think you're doing?

We're doing the stunt.

Did you say we, Kick?

As a matter of fact I did, Kyle.

[strains]

[screams]

[Kyle] Kick, we're doing it. You and me in a stunt.

[Kick] No talking.

♪♪

[thunderclap]

[gasps] No.

Hi, Mom, how was your meeting for work?

Well, I'm afraid riding

as an entangled group disqualifies you

from getting you into The Global Book of Awesome.

By yourself anyway.

Kick broke about three dozen records in the process.

Never saw anything like it.

All right, Kyle, time to go.

Wow, Kick, tears of joy.

I've never seen you so happy.

You sure haven't, Kyle.

Bye, Kyle. See you later, alligator.

Take care.

[all] Hasta la vista. Sayonara.

Peace out. Auf Wiedersehen.

[engine stalls]

Aw, biscuits.

[Kyle] And they lived happily ever after

in the land of sunshine and flowers

and no chunky peanut butter.

The end.

So what you think?

[thunderclap]

Closed-Captioned By J.R. Media Services, Inc. Burbank, CA