Original subtitles

♪♪ [theme]

♪ Kick, kick ♪

♪ Kick, kick, kick ♪

♪ Kick Buttowski ♪

♪ Kick ♪

♪ Kick ♪

♪ Kick Buttowski ♪

♪ Kick, kick ♪

♪ Kick, kick ♪ ♪ Kick Buttowski ♪

♪ Kick, kick ♪

♪ Kick ♪

♪ Kick ♪

♪ Kick Buttowski ♪

♪ Kick Buttowski ♪

[crash]

[screaming]

[screaming continues]

[squeak]

Yeah! Great test run, Kick.

[crash] [cat yowls]

Good thing that was the test dummy, huh, Kick?

[gasps]

[clatter]

I hear pain! [screams]

Oh, yes! Yes!

Show me the scrapes. Show-- Show me it.

Okay. Good. Yes!

Even better than the famous rug burn of '08.

This one's going on the fridge.

Oh, Jackie! Your lingonberry pie is ready!

Lingonberry pie? My favorite!

Your-- Your favorite?

And your Viking Helmet of the Month just arrived.

Finally.

And I just polished your clogs.

[yodeling]

[thumping]

Aw. Ah.

So what was today's big stunt for anyway, huh? [grunting]

I'm preparing for my eventual descent down Widowma--

Widomaker's Pea-ea-ea-ea-ea-eak?

Yeah.

You must've snuck into my house and ready my diary,

and now you know it's been my greatest dream

to marry the first man who conquers Widowmaker's Peak.

If you do eat it on Widowmaker's Peak,

that would make me your widow!

Get it? Widowmaker's Peak!

[squelch] Ew. Roadkill.

♪♪ [humming tango music]

[shudders]

[shuddering laugh]

What's up, Gunther? You never drool this much.

Gunther? Are you listening?

Gunther! [buzzing]

Oh. Sorry, Kick, but I'm in love.

Hah! Love.

Oh. You're serious.

Well, then, who are you in-- uhh-- with?

Well, it's--

[Jackie] Ki-i-i-i-ick!

My mother doesn't approve of you!

Forbidden love.

[footsteps running]

She's never gonna want me.

She? Oh, right. The girl.

Wow. You've got it bad, huh?

Yes! So bad!

You know what? I'm gonna help you

get this dream girl. [slurping]

So who is she?

Well, she was just standing outside that window.

Huh? The only person that could be

is Wacky Jackie, and--

[chuckling]

No! No. Come on. Not her.

Yes.

But she's wacky!

Only to you because you don't love her.

But if Jackie was obsessed with me

the way she is with you,

then she'd be out of your hair and into mine,

assuming that you have hair.

So you're saying that if we get her to become obsessed with you,

then she'll leave me alone,

all while making your dreams come true.

But she doesn't even notice me, Kick.

Then getting you noticed is step number 1.

There's nothing Jackie loves more

than extreme daredevils,

so I'll show you how to be one.

I just rode over here on sewage.

Is that extreme enough?

Okay, Gunther, you need to master

the three rules of keeping a daredevil attitude.

Rule 1: speech.

Say something you'd like to tell Jackie.

"Dearest Jackie,

"your face is like an apple, ripe to the touch.

You make my heart beat within my womb."

Enough. If you need at least five words

to convey something, use two instead.

Simplify, Gunther. Simplify.

Rule 2: focus.

Here. Follow the stick.

Excellent. How do you feel?

Ooh, I'm feeling really nice and focused.

Ah-ah-ah-ah.

Feeling focused.

Third-- most important-- reason.

Never, ever, ever listen to reason.

Gunther, what are you doing?

Quiet, Kick. I'm listening to reason.

If you can master these three rules,

you're on your way to being an extreme daredevil.

Any questions?

"Dearest Jackie, your face is like an apple, ripe to the touch."

Come on, Gunther, simplify.

Fart.

Fart, fart.

Hello? Hello? Is anyone there?

[sniffles]

She didn't even notice me.

She didn't notice you

because you still don't look the part.

Look the part.

Something tells me this looks better on you.

In that outfit,

ladies won't be able to tell the difference.

Ki-i-i-i-ick!

Lookit!

Ugh! She's all yours.

I made it with your old bandages.

I didn't have enough for the last letter,

but maybe you can make me some more

when you go down Widowmaker's Peak!

Kick? Hmm? No one's there.

Even with this hot ensemble, she didn't notice me.

What am I doing wrong?

Did you keep a steely gaze when she looked at you?

No, Kick. Don't you get it?

Jackie loves people

for the extremely cool things that they can do,

and that's why I need to do this.

Do what? I'm going down Widowmaker's Peak.

Hah! Gunther, that's insane.

Even I'm not ready for Widowmaker's Peak.

That's why I have to do it.

I have to outdo the best.

Come on, Gunther. Listen to reason.

Oh!

[Kick] Never listen to reason.

Listen to reason. Gotcha.

Good, Gunther, 'cause this time, I-- [door closes]

Aw, biscuits.

Come one, come all!

Actually, just Jackie.

'Cause Gunther is about to be the first man

to conquer Widowmaker's Peak!

Oh, Kick, you're such a good kisser.

I repeat, Widowmaker's Peak!

Widowmaker's Peak?

[crow cawing]

Those girls gonna go in that box

and go down the hill and get hurt.

Gunther, you can't do this!

Do you want to die?

No. I want to live...

till it hurts. [grunting]

Gunther, I won't let you do this.

You're gonna get hurt.

I have to do this.

I gotta get the girl.

No girl is gonna come between us.

And getting rid of Jackie

isn't worth losing my best friend.

Come on, buddy. We'll find another way.

Leave me alone! Get out of the car.

Go away! You gotta let me do this!

I said get out! I said go away.

Your breath smells like stratosphere.

That's not my breath. That's the wind. Wind?

[straining]

Gunther, you're perfectly balanced.

Don't move. Don't even make a sound.

Why?

[screaming]

[screaming continues]

[yells]

[screaming continues]

[grunting]

[screaming continues]

[bear growling]

[growling continues]

[bear grunting]

[kick yelling]

[grunts]

Gunther, you're the first one to conquer Widowmaker's Peak?

[cheering]

I am the first one! Hmm.

[grunts]

[gasping]

I never realized

you've been such a daredevil all this time,

hiding behind the glory of your friend.

Marry me. I do.

Congratulations, Gunther.

Wow. You didn't tell me how easy this stuff was, Kick.

Quiet, you big-talking man.

Ew. Roadkill.

Way to go, Gunther. [cheering]

You got the girl, and I got rid of the girl.

I just love a man who can take a hit from a bear.

I'm gonna make a blog

and start following you all around.

Uh...

[bell ringing] [Teacher] All right, students. Quiet down.

Monday is a very special day.

Can anyone tell me what that might be?

Ooh, ooh! Spaghetti and meatballs day?

Mmm. Well, there's that.

But it's also Bring Your Dad to School Day.

[cheering]

It's my dad's weekend to get his back shaved,

so he'll be all nice and smooth for Monday.

Eww! Eww!

[groans]

What's the matter, Buttowski?

Not excited to bring your dad to school?

Oh, I'm totally jumping up and down on the inside.

Hah! I bet that's because

your dad is lame.

Ooh! Ooh!

Not a chance, Mouth. My dad is the coolest.

He's the X in extreme

and the extreme in extremely cool.

When the heavens needed a mold for awesome,

they used my dad.

Ohh! Ohh!

And then he broke that very mold.

Uh, Kick, do you have a different dad that I don't know about?

No way, Gunther. My dad is totally--

You boys keep it down. I'm building card castles.

...lame.

What are you gonna do?

I've got the weekend to make him awesome.

How hard could that be? Whoo-hoo!

Double-decker!

Okay, so why are we doing this?

I'll, uh, give you the details later.

As long as I get to do groovy things with my son.

Shouldn't you start with something smaller?

No time for small. Okay, Dad.

Get on the board.

And remember, live till it hurts.

Live till it hurts!

Aah!

[crash] [grunts]

Oh, it hurts.

It hurts.

[high-pitched voice] And hurts.

Whoa! [yelling]

Ahh! This just might work.

[crash]

Yep. Still hurts.

Or not.

[grunts]

I love doing this stuff with you, son,

but what's all this for again?

Nothing, Dad.

Never mind.

What am I gonna do?

Everyone's expecting me to bring my cool dad to school on Monday.

Aw, don't worry about it.

Your dad will be fine.

Oh, sure. You can say that.

Look at your cool dad.

What too cold?

[teeth chattering]

There! Is hot enough for you? [screaming]

Yep. He's pretty cool.

Would it have been too much to ask to have a cool dad like

Ninja Dad,

Commando Dad,

or Rock Star Dad?

Instead, all I get is Boring Dad.

Well, what if your dad pretended to be cool?

Nah.

Or, I could pretend to have a cooler dad.

Oh, and I'll pretend

that I totally support this.

We've brought you here today to audition

for a very extreme and super-cool role.

So to begin, what would you do

if you were Kick's dad?

[all screaming]

[screeching]

Coming through.

[yells]

[tires screeching]

Admittedly, I saw that one coming.

Come on, Gunther. There's gotta be

someone out there who could play my dad.

Someone as smart and awesome as me.

[bell dings]

Hoo-hoo. Classic.

Wade.

Hey, hey, it's Danger Dude and his Norse amigo.

Whatcha doing?

Just nuking a microwavable burrito,

big daddy of the frozen snack world.

[slurping]

[grunting]

Brain burn!

Ha-ha!

Diminished.

I want a brain burn.

Dare to dream, Norse amigo. Dare to dream.

Now, how can the Wade be of assistance?

What would you do if you were my dad?

I don't even know your mom's favorite color.

No. It's Bring Your Dad to School Day tomorrow,

and I'm making you my dad.

Okey-doke. I'm in. What do I gotta do?

Just act cool.

[Gunther] Aghh! Brain burn!

Hey, Magnus. Just picking up a to-go order.

Hello, Harry. I'll be right with you.

Quick, finish first pass.

We have customer.

♪♪ [whistling]

[inhales deeply] Mmm.

Viking chorizo.

You looking forward to Monday?

Monday? Oh, of course.

I mean, who doesn't love Mondays, right?

What's Monday?

It's Take Father to School Day.

Kick no invite?

Hmm? No-- Uh, I'm sure he just forgot.

I'll just surprise him at school.

Better get in a little more practice.

[yells]

[bell ringing] [Teacher] All right, class.

Welcome to Bring Your Dad to School Day.

Let's start with Kendall.

This is my daddy.

He has the most interesting job.

Tell them what you do, Daddy. Well, I'm an actuary.

An actuary is a business professional

dealing in the financial impact of risk and uncertainty.

Actuaries have a deep understanding

of financial security systems,

with a focus on their complexity,

their mathematics, and their mechanisms.

Actuaries evaluate the likelihood of events

and quantify the contingent outcomes

in order to minimize losses,

both emotional and financial.

[all snoring] [Kendall clears throat]

[all gasp]

Mm-hmm. Gunther Magnuson.

This is my dad Magnus.

He and my mom run the Battlesnax restaurant.

Hello, children.

Bookish boy in front.

Uh, why are you wearing a skirt?

It's not skirt! It's warrior kilt!

I Viking! I wear armor!

I challenge you to fight me!

Mmm. That good. Maybe I put it on menu.

That's my pop.

[applause] Mmm. Next up, Mouth--

uh, Christopher.

Listen up, slackers.

My dad is the cool second assistant security guard

at the Mellowbrook Mall.

Prepare to be impressed.

Who ya gonna call

when you got trouble in your mall?

Boo-yah!

Ooh! Ooh!

Who's the coolest dad?

Buttowski. Who? Buttowski.

[Teacher] Next up, Mr. Buttowski.

Ha. Just in time.

Allow me to introduce... my dad,

the coolest dad ever.

Uh, hello, dudes and dudettes.

"My name is," uh, "Kick's dad,

and I'm the most awesome dad in the universe."

That's right. And is there anyone more awesome than you,

my real dad?

Real dad?

"The only person more awesome than me

is point to Kick."

Uh-oh. Uh, "is my real son

Kick."

"Let me tell you a little bit about my awesome life."

There I was,

surrounded on all sides by ninja assassins,

so I was-- [karate yells]

[yells continue] [gasping]

What?

The chopper swooped in and picked me up,

and soon we're flying over the jungle canopy,

but the L.Z. was hot, and we couldn't land,

so I had to jump.

Yaah! [Kids scream]

The enemy was hot on my tail, so I was all-- [grunts]

[imitating machine gun firing]

And I made it just in time for my rock and roll concert.

♪♪ [imitating guitar]

And that was all this morning.

Wow! Wow!

I had no idea.

Kick is embarrassed to be my son.

♪♪ [imitating guitar]

[yells]

Did not see that coming.

[all] Wade?

Wade? Total shocker.

Ha! That's not your real dad!

I knew your dad was lame.

[laughing] [bell ringing]

[laughing continues]

I screwed up, Gunther.

I think you would've been better off bringing your real dad.

I know. He may not be awesome or extreme,

but I couldn't ask for a better dad.

Plus, he would've kept his moustache on.

Look on the bright side, Kick. What?

It's spaghetti and meatballs day!

Hmm.

Time to get awesome.

Next.

[Kids whooping]

Yeah, Dad! Go!

[cheering]

Coolest dad ever.

Well, well, well.

Looks like my dad's the winner.

It really doesn't matter, Mouth.

That's 'cause your dad's a no-show.

Maybe he saved the best for last.

Dad, it's okay. You don't have-- Don't worry. I've been practicing.

[yells]

[yelling]

Whoa! Something cooler! Yeah!

Jeezo pizza. Did I make a mess of everything?

No, Dad. I made a mess of everything.

You are awesome. But the stunt failed.

Not because of the stunt. Because you did it for me.

Thanks. Anytime, son.

And next time, just ask me. I might surprise you.

Have I died and gone to spaghetti and meatball heaven?

Awesome! Cool!

[Kids cheering]

So, I'd love to try that ramp again.

How about we build a card castle instead?

Are you sure? I kind of like that motto--

Live till it-- Aah! Stepped on noodles!

[crash] Ow! It hurts.

I'll have the special.

[clatter]

You want fries with that?

Closed-Captioned By J.R. Media Services, Inc. Burbank, CA