Original subtitles

♪♪ [theme]

♪ Kick, kick ♪

♪ Kick ♪ ♪ Kick Buttowski ♪

♪ Kick ♪

♪ Kick ♪

♪ Kick Buttowski ♪

♪ Kick, kick ♪

♪ Kick, kick ♪ ♪ Kick Buttowski ♪

♪ Kick, kick ♪

♪ Kick ♪

♪ Kick ♪

♪ Kick Buttowski ♪

♪ Kick Buttowski ♪

[crash]

♪♪ [spaghetti western ]

All right, Kick.

Quit messing around and saddle up to that piano.

Sorry. Music’s not my game.

Well, it is now.

It’s time you became more well-rounded.

You can’t just blow through life like a tornado.

Tornado? Aren’t you exaggerating a little?

[clears throat]

If anyone calls, I’ll be at the piano.

Who knows, Kick? You might even like it.

Doubtful.

[kids cheering]

Leaves.

Leaves!

More leaves.

[Mr. Buttowski] I don’t hear any piano.

♪♪ [cluster chord]

It isn’t going to play itself, you know.

♪♪ [piano]

Stay handsome.

[Mr. Buttowski] Wow, Kick.

It sounds like you’re starting to get the hang of it, kid.

He’s even got strings.

And drums.

That boy.

Nice try.

[steam hissing]

My truck broke down.

I don’t want the ice cream to melt.

I guess I’ll just have to give it away.

[cheering]

♪♪ [cluster chord]

[Mr. Buttowski] Don’t play with your head, Kick.

Or your face.

Here you go, Kick.

Try rocking out to this groovy beat.

[metronome clicking]

[clicking tempo increases]

[tempo increases]

[truck horn honking]

[girl giggling] [horn honks]

What are the odds my truck would break down

in the same cul-de-sac as your truck?

I guess I’ll just have to leave this sweet half-pipe right here.

[Kick] Aw, come on.

Whoo!

[groans]

[Mr. Buttowski] Get back on that stool, Kick Buttowski.

And stop drooling.

[slurps]

All right, piano.

I don’t like you, and you don’t like me.

But I aim to play you.

♪♪ [off-key piano]

We’ll call it a draw.

Okay, I’ve got to run to the store for more duct tape,

so you just keep going with your lesson.

I don’t know why we keep running out of duct tape.

And don’t leave that piano

for even one second,

or you’re going to be in more trouble

than you knew existed.

And remember, Kick, piano’s supposed to be fun.

[chuckles]

[fireworks popping]

[kids cheering]

♪♪ [rock]

And don’t leave that piano for even one second.

Kick, Kick!

I’ve been looking everywhere for you.

Very Berry Lingonberry?

Yeah. I didn’t find you at the ice cream man.

Come on, Gunther. Help me grease up the wheels.

Aren’t you supposed to be staying home for your lesson?

Technically, all Dad said was that I can’t leave the piano.

Oh. Huh?

My piano lesson just had a change of venue.

Oh. Huh?

Come on, Gunther. Faster.

[grunts]

[wheezing] Not fast enough.

We’ll need more speed.

But how?

We made it, Kick. Top of the world.

Nice work, Gunther.

This will give us enough speed to hit that ramp.

Oh. Huh?

[screams]

♪♪ [piano]

[grunts]

♪♪ [piano]

Aah.

Aah.

[screams]

Rock ’n’ roll.

Duck.

Duck!

Moose!

♪♪ [classical]

So moving.

Oh, so restrained.

♪♪ [rock piano]

♪♪ [blows note]

[horn blaring]

Thank you. You saved me from a horrible mistake.

That’s the power of music, ma’am.

[wailing]

Huh, some people have no control over their children.

There. You’re safe now, my little darlings.

Aah!

♪♪ [rock piano]

[all scream]

[crash]

Kick?

Piano is awesome.

[quack]

You were right, Dad. Piano is fun.

Wait, wait, wait. You expect me to believe

you haven’t left this piano all day?

Gunther?

It’s true.

I can vouch for that.

And who are you again?

Michelle.

And you learned the entire song?

Here, I’ll show you. [knuckles crack]

♪♪ [off-key piano]

[Mr. Buttowski chuckles]

Better keep practicing, son.

I can play it. Really.

Yeah, right.

[screaming]

I told you I could do it, Dad.

I just needed a change of venue.

[Gunther on megaphone] Welcome to the Kick Buttowski Museum of the Awesome.

Okay, single file. No pushing.

This way. Follow me.

When do we--

Please hold all questions till the end of the tour.

This is Kick’s helmet from his legendary Crash of the Titans.

[all] Ooh.

I’m sure you all recall his Ice Leap of Doom.

Ahh.

And here we have a collection of his scabs from Gravel Run.

Ahh.

No touching the exhibits!

And now we will proceed to the highlight of the tour.

That’s one awesome tricycle.

[Kick] That’s not just any tricycle.

This is the Trike X5.

Kick’s first stunt trike.

[all] Sweet.

Me and this bad boy go way back.

We had a lot of firsts together.

First wheelie, first header,

first trip to the emergency room.

[Gunther] All in the first day.

Aah!

The Trike X5! Where did it go?

While you were telling that story,

some girl in pink took it.

Brianna.

Get out of my room.

All right, where’s my--

The Trike X5. What have you done?

You don’t ride it anymore.

This is a pro-grade stunt trike.

Ribbons severely downgrade the aerodynamics.

And are those sparkles?

Permanent sparkles. So cute.

[groans]

Stunt trikes aren’t cute.

And another thing!

Ooh.

I ask my folks for a monster truck,

and they give me a sister.

Pull over.

You know you’re not allowed to go out by yourself.

Brad’s watching me.

[Man on TV] Next up, Tankini Lumberjacks.

Yes.

Fun time’s over, Bree.

Time to let go of the handlebar.

Iron grip.

Is that a unicorn flag?

The phone pole.

No, I’m pretty sure it’s a unicorn.

Aah.

Starting to lose my patience, sis.

Man hole. What?

End of the line. Hand it over.

Sightseers.

Smell you later, Clarence.

She’s lucky she’s my sister.

Aah!

[belches]

Cannonball!

"Miss Pretty Pink Precious Pageant."

[vomits]

Easy, Kick. Keep it down.

[vomits]

[chatter]

Five minutes till show time, ladies.

OMG. OMG.

Oh, my gosh, Brianna Buttowski.

It’s so good to see you.

I was just asking my mother

who she thought was going to come in second today.

Now we know.

Penelope Patterson.

I knew I smelled something.

[cat yowls]

[Man] Move, move, move.

You think two dozen spangled dresses

are just going to roll themselves to the staging area?

♪♪ [kazoo]

Oh, a kazoo. That’s sweet. You think that’s real talent.

Uh, you think that’s a real hairdo?

I totally admire you, Brianna.

You’re always trying in the face of certain failure.

Uh, stupid pageant.

Who even comes to these things?

[groans]

Gunther!

Here she comes.

Now I just wait for the signal.

Brianna, hold on a second.

You’ve always been my favorite.

I always thought you had that certain je ne sais quoi.

Really?

Why don’t you step into the light where I can see you better?

Okay.

A little more to the left.

And perfect.

[whistles]

The signal.

[vomits]

Oh, Kick, no. No, no, no, no.

That outfit isn’t you at all.

Clashes with your skin tone.

Stick to skateboarding, my friend.

[Announcer] Ladies and gentlemen,

Miss Penelope Patterson.

"To be or not to be?

That is the question."

Reciting Shakespeare while riding a unicycle is so last year.

"Whether ’tis nobler in the mind to suffer."

[cheering and applause]

I don’t believe it. They love it.

Ha!

No stickers, no sparkles,

no ribbons, and no unicorns.

Never out-dare a daredevil, sis.

Who cares about some dumb old trike?

Did you see Penelope?

I’ll never be Miss Pretty Pink Precious.

Aw, come on. She’s not that good.

"Thus conscience does make cowards of us all."

Okay, she is that good.

Crowd’s all yours, Brianna.

[laughs]

That’s it. I quit.

Shh. You don’t quit in front of the Trike X5.

You don’t quit, period.

Did you quit when you stole my Trike X5?

No.

Did you quit when you covered it

in a bunch of frou-frouy garbage?

No. Did you quit

when you led me on a chase through town

that caused me abrasions, contusions,

and a humiliating make-over?

No!

Then you’re not going to quit now.

You’ve got brains, talent, and the Trike X5.

And now ladies and gentlemen,

Miss Brianna G. Buttowski.

And her musical wheels of doom.

[audience gasps]

I’m not sure I can do this, Kick.

You’re the stunt guy.

You’ve got that iron grip. Just hang on tight.

That’s how you hook them, Bree.

Ugh.

Now, brakes in 3, 2--

[cheering and applause]

Yeah!

Thanks, Kick, so much.

You were right. Trike X5 is the greatest.

Yes, it is, and it’s yours.

Really?

Really.

Trike X5 victory lap. Whoo.

Ride it bravely, Brianna.

Ride it wisely.

[crash] Ouch!

And watch out for walls.

[Man on TV] Next up...

Is picking your nose a sign of increased intelligence?

A new study says maybe.

Yes!

Closed-Captioned By J.R. Media Services, Inc. Burbank, CA