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[RADIO CHATTER]
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CHRISTINE: Joseph,
what's the latest on IS?
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Do we have any matches?
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JOSEPH: Yeah, kind of. I'm having
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a little bit of trouble
trying to get our software
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to distinguish between times
when someone has referred
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to IS, as in the Islamic State,
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which is what I presume we
need to keep a record of,
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versus times when they'd
simply used the word "is."
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CHRISTINE: You've spent
the best part of a week
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looking into all
nationwide communication
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containing the word "is"?
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JOSEPH: Yeah. I mean, you'd be surprised
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how much it comes up.
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CHRISTINE: Jerry, have
you been able to get
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a cybertrace on where the Russians
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might be operating from?
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JERRY: Uh, well, first of all,
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good morning, Chris,
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uh, and no,
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my only guess is that
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somehow they're able to operate
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even when their main server is asleep.
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- JOSEPH: I'm a bit like that.
- JERRY: By the way,
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has the NSA reached out
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to see how I'm getting
on with all of this?
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CHRISTINE: Yes, of
course. If word gets out
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that a weapon designed by the NSA
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is now in the hands of terrorists,
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it's gonna be the biggest
humiliation since Snowden.
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JERRY: Yeah, I was
asking more about, like,
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did they reach out to say
hi, or... but what you said
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was also super important.
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CHRISTINE: Right. No.
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Also, just so that you know.
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as part of GCHQ's commitment
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to tackling sexual
harassment and discrimination
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in the workplace,
SciSec has been assigned
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Hilary Bowden, who will be leading
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some workshops during the day.
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JERRY: Is she GCHQ?
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CHRISTINE: No, but she comes recommended
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by Rupert and Downing
Street and she's also
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worked closely with Prince Andrew.
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JERRY: Not too closely, I hope.
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- CHRISTINE: And one final thing.
- [DISHES CLATTER]
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One final thing. I'm
delighted to announce
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that SciSec's new fire
marshal will be Evelyn.
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- JOSEPH: Uhh! Was it close?
- CHRISTINE: No.
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- EVELYN: What do you mean?
- CHRISTINE: Well done.
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JERRY: Wait a minute. You
didn't even apply for the role?
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- EVELYN: Well, no.
- JERRY: Does HR know?
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CHRISTINE: It's fine. It's just
something to keep her active
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and get her out of my office.
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JERRY: Chris, you can't
just give that role
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to your own daughter.
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- CHRISTINE: Why not?
- JERRY: Well, isn't that...
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what's it called when
you favor a relative?
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TUVA: Incest?
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CHRISTINE: If you're
accusing me of nepotism
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within GCHQ, it's
probably my grandmother
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you need to speak to first.
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JERRY: Right. Where is she at?
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CHRISTINE: Cheltenham
Cemetery. 12 across, 4 down.
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MARY: Oh, it's lovely around there.
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- JERRY: It's bullshit.
- CHRISTINE: If only it wasn't so obvious that
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Evelyn has got the role purely on merit.
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EVELYN: Sorry, got what on merit?
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[CHRISTINE SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]
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JOSEPH: Any update
from the Russians on how
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your mum's getting on there?
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MARY: Oh, they won't
let me speak to her.
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She's very strong-willed.
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She once ate a glass vase.
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[CHRISTINE SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]
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CHRISTINE: Come along.
Let's get this over with.
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MARY: Yep.
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JERRY: Uh, yeah, hi.
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I just wanted to make sure you received
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my, uh, my donation to the Women's
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Progressive Liberal Library Fund.
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Yes, $10,000. Great. Thank you.
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I'm so sorry. How can I help you?
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WOMAN: Hilary Bowden. I'll be leading
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the harassment and
discrimination sessions today.
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JERRY: Oh, right, right.
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Jerry Bernstein, NSA.
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Well, are you a breath of fresh air.
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HILARY: Oh, really? Why?
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JERRY: Oh, just that you're a very...
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um... um... red. You're very red.
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HILARY: Heh.
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Were you about to say I was attractive?
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JERRY: Maybe. Would that have been OK?
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HILARY: Of course. Why not?
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JERRY: Well, it's just that, you know,
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men like me are often... ah, never mind.
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HILARY: No, go on.
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JERRY: No, it's just that, you know,
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being a good-looking
straight white male these days
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is kind of like having a
target on your back, you know?
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Anyway, um, if you need anything at all
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while... while you're here, you just,
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you know, give me a nudge.
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I'm a big fan of your...
of your harassment...
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of... anti-harass... and... your work,
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and... and discrimination.
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Very important.
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HILARY: Well, then. Shall we?
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- JERRY: No, please.
- HILARY: No, please.
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[JERRY SCOFFS] OK.
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Oh! Hello.
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HILARY: After you.
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JOSEPH: How do you feel about
sharing the fire marshal position?
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- EVELYN: There's only one tabard.
- JOSEPH: Yeah, I know,
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but I can always give
it a rinse in between.
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EVELYN: Aren't you already
health and safety officer?
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JOSEPH: Oh, yeah, I know,
but ever since Elaine
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walked into that sheet of glass,
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there's been nothing to do.
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EVELYN: Well, what do you want me to do?
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Start a fire?
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HILARY: That's not really
necessary. [GIGGLES]
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Good morning, everyone.
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- JERRY: Good morning.
- JOSEPH: Good morning.
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HILARY: As you know, my
name is Hilary Bowden.
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I'm an ambassador for
CBT in the workplace.
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I have experience with animals.
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And I am co-creator of
the biodegradable coil.
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We are stretched for time, so,
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just to get the ball rolling,
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I'd like to start with a general chat
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about our own personal
experiences of harassment.
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Would anyone like to go first?
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- JERRY: Well...
- JOSEPH: [INDISTINCT]
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- oh, no.
- JERRY: No.
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- JOSEPH: You sure?
- JERRY: Yeah. you go.
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JOSEPH: So, I often
get teased quite a lot
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because of my height. I don't know if
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that counts as harassment per se.
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HILARY: I see. And from a psychological
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point of view, does that get you down?
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JOSEPH: Well, I'm a lot
closer to the ground,
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if that's what... is
that what you meant?
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HILARY: But do you ever
find it restricting?
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JOSEPH: Oh, no. No, not... I mean,
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within reason, I can fit
into any size space, so.
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- HILARY: Like a squid.
- JOSEPH: Or a gas.
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HILARY: And Jerry, as
the alpha of the pack,
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have you always been this tall?
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JERRY: Yeah, since birth.
I'm... I'm tall everywhere.
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HILARY: And are you now at your
maximum height, do you think?
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JERRY: Actually, I can feel
myself growing right now.
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HILARY: Lovely. OK. So, I would like
to try a little bit of role play.
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Mary and Joseph.
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Come help me at the front here.
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Um, Jerry, could you please,
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chair for me, please.
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- [SMACK]
- JERRY: Oh!
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HILARY: OK, so, I want you to imagine
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that Mary has been bullying Joseph
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- for his height, say, and...
- MARY: Why?
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HILARY: Well, actually,
that's a good point.
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In theory, why else might we
want to make fun of Joseph?
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JERRY: I don't know the
best way to say this.
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The color of his skin?
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- HILARY: Yes, thank you.
- CHRISTINE: His intellect.
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- EVELYN: Size of his nose.
- JERRY: The way he dresses.
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JOSEPH: I think that's probably enough.
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JERRY: His one brow?
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JOSEPH: Jerry, I think that...
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HILARY: Yes, that's a
good amount of variables.
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And which one of these are you
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most comfortable talking about, Mary?
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MARY: Oh. Probably, um... uh...
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the color of his skin?
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HILARY: Yes. I agree.
At least in theory,
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that's certainly the most obvious.
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JERRY: I don't know.
That nose is pretty big.
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JOSEPH: Jerry.
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HILARY: So, I want you to imagine
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that you've had a run-in with Joseph
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and you've ended up
saying something racist.
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MARY: Do you want me to
actually say the word out loud?
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HILARY: Well, do you have
a particular word in mind?
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MARY: A few, yes.
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Oh, but only because Mum
used to talk in her sleep.
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- JOSEPH: Right.
- HILARY: Just for my write-up,
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Christine, what proportion
of the office is black?
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JERRY: Sorry. I believe the
correct term is African-American.
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EVELYN: I think quite a lot
of the furniture is black.
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Sorry. African-American.
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CHRISTINE: Of course,
we have very few, if any,
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African-Americans working here.
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JERRY: What? How do
you get away with that?
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HILARY: OK. I think that's enough.
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- JOSEPH: Yeah.
- CHRISTINE: Now we can all relax.
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HILARY: How did that
make you feel, Joseph?
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JOSEPH: Uh... I guess it
made me feel a bit more white.
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JERRY: Hilary, given that I
hang out with Joseph so much,
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does that mean I can never
be accused of being a racist?
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HILARY: OK, well, let's
break that down, shall we?
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Does your friendship with Joseph
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ever feel like a conscious decision?
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- JOSEPH: Absolutely.
- JERRY: Never.
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- JOSEPH: Oh.
- JERRY: I mean, a little bit of both.
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HILARY: It's not an act
of pity or self-defense?
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JOSEPH: How would it be
an act of self-defense?
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HILARY: Well, perhaps
it makes Jerry feel
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more powerful, surrounding himself
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- with people of color.
- EVELYN: Like in "Moana."
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- HILARY: Yeah.
- JERRY: No, I'd never do that.
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That's not to say I don't feel
powerful around you, buddy,
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but I think anyone would.
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JOSEPH: Hmm.
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[NO AUDIO]
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HILARY: OK, so, this next bit's
actually taken from my latest book.
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It's just a scenario that
I'd like you to mull over
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before we break for lunch.
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Now, what if Jerry invited
Joseph over to his house?
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TUVA: He's staying in a hotel.
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HILARY: OK, so, imagine he
invites him over to his hotel
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- and cooks him a delicious...
- TUVA: Doesn't have a kitchen.
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JERRY: Well, let's just
assume it's a suite.
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I'm sure they'd upgrade me if I asked.
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JOSEPH: Couldn't you just
use the hotel kitchen?
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EVELYN: That was going
to be my question.
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- Christine:
- JESUS. JERRY: No, I don't want
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to hang out with those guys.
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I'm trying to cook Joseph a
nice, romantic children's meal.
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HILARY: The point is,
Jerry ends up cooking Joseph
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a really big, vibrant curry.
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CHRISTINE: You wrote a book about this?
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- JOSEPH: I quite like curry.
- JERRY: Oh, there you go. See?
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HILARY: The question is,
though, is that racist?
236
00:09:03,215 --> 00:09:04,856
JERRY: No way. I'm just using up
237
00:09:04,896 --> 00:09:06,777
all the ingredients I had left over.
238
00:09:06,816 --> 00:09:08,657
EVELYN: I thought that was pancake day.
239
00:09:08,698 --> 00:09:09,938
HILARY: But is this a sign that we have
240
00:09:09,977 --> 00:09:12,058
preconceived ideas of people?
241
00:09:12,097 --> 00:09:14,578
JERRY: No. I'm just trying to
cook my best friend in London...
242
00:09:14,617 --> 00:09:17,018
- JOSEPH: Cheltenham.
- JERRY: Cheltenham his favorite meal.
243
00:09:17,058 --> 00:09:18,738
- JOSEPH: I never said it was my favorite.
- HILARY: See?
244
00:09:18,779 --> 00:09:21,299
JERRY: Yeah, but I'd do
the same for... for anyone.
245
00:09:21,338 --> 00:09:23,019
I mean, apart from Tuva, maybe.
246
00:09:23,060 --> 00:09:24,780
TUVA: Why? What would you cook for me?
247
00:09:24,820 --> 00:09:27,821
JERRY: I'm imagining
a more fragrant, spicy,
248
00:09:27,860 --> 00:09:28,940
kind of noodle thing.
249
00:09:28,980 --> 00:09:30,500
CHRISTINE: Surely that's time.
250
00:09:30,541 --> 00:09:32,302
- JERRY: With a side of crickets.
- TUVA: The fuck?
251
00:09:32,341 --> 00:09:34,182
MARY: Are we not doing
the bit in the role play
252
00:09:34,221 --> 00:09:35,702
where I call Joseph a...
253
00:09:40,823 --> 00:09:42,732
JERRY: Wow.
254
00:09:50,074 --> 00:09:51,987
CHRISTINE: Phones off.
255
00:09:52,045 --> 00:09:56,406
- Up. Move.
- EVELYN: Oh, what? God.
256
00:09:56,444 --> 00:09:57,845
Look at you.
257
00:10:00,886 --> 00:10:02,646
- JERRY: Move up.
- JOSEPH: Yeah.
258
00:10:04,044 --> 00:10:06,646
JERRY: Hilary just
grabbed my junk again.
259
00:10:06,685 --> 00:10:08,605
JOSEPH: What? Why?
260
00:10:08,646 --> 00:10:10,085
JERRY: Maybe it's some kind of game,
261
00:10:10,125 --> 00:10:12,805
like a perverted version of Bop It.
262
00:10:12,844 --> 00:10:14,766
Whatever it is, I think she's winning.
263
00:10:14,805 --> 00:10:16,006
JOSEPH: Are you gonna say something?
264
00:10:16,045 --> 00:10:17,366
JERRY: I don't know. I mean,
265
00:10:17,405 --> 00:10:18,845
what if she's just really into me?
266
00:10:18,886 --> 00:10:20,205
JOSEPH: What if she's not?
267
00:10:20,246 --> 00:10:21,606
JERRY: Well, then I'm gonna tell on her.
268
00:10:21,645 --> 00:10:22,844
JOSEPH: To Chris?
269
00:10:22,886 --> 00:10:24,445
MARY: What's going on?
270
00:10:24,486 --> 00:10:26,445
JOSEPH: Oh, just tell her
Hilary grabbed Jerry's crotch
271
00:10:26,485 --> 00:10:27,646
and he wants to tell Chris.
272
00:10:27,684 --> 00:10:30,166
- MARY: Oh.
- JOSEPH: Pass it on.
273
00:10:30,205 --> 00:10:33,366
MARY: Something about
Jerry and Chris's crotch.
274
00:10:33,406 --> 00:10:34,965
I didn't really catch it.
275
00:10:35,006 --> 00:10:36,805
- TUVA: You caught something?
- MARY: I don't know,
276
00:10:36,845 --> 00:10:38,526
but we all have to pass it on.
277
00:10:39,766 --> 00:10:41,926
- TUVA: Jerry's got an STD.
- EVELYN: What?
278
00:10:41,965 --> 00:10:44,246
- TUVA: Pass it on.
- EVELYN: Ew. No. Gross.
279
00:10:46,925 --> 00:10:48,805
Jerry's got syphilis again.
280
00:10:50,845 --> 00:10:52,806
[JERRY MOUTHING WORDS]
281
00:10:55,805 --> 00:10:58,406
HILARY: It's sexual harassment time.
282
00:10:58,445 --> 00:11:02,527
What I want to examine is what's
acceptable in the workplace,
283
00:11:02,565 --> 00:11:06,685
what's unacceptable, and
ultimately, what's illegal.
284
00:11:06,726 --> 00:11:08,526
- JERRY: Yeah, me, too.
- HILARY: Can anyone give me
285
00:11:08,566 --> 00:11:11,406
an example of something that's
illegal in the workplace?
286
00:11:11,445 --> 00:11:12,445
TUVA: Homicide.
287
00:11:12,487 --> 00:11:17,926
HILARY: Yes, but I'm particularly
interested in those muddier areas.
288
00:11:17,966 --> 00:11:21,926
Who uses kisses at the
end of their emails?
289
00:11:21,966 --> 00:11:23,767
And how does everyone
else feel about that?
290
00:11:23,805 --> 00:11:26,447
- CHRISTINE: How do you think?
- JERRY: The only thing that bothers me
291
00:11:26,448 --> 00:11:28,486
is when the whole email is just a kiss.
292
00:11:28,527 --> 00:11:31,607
- HILARY: Even the subject line?
- JERRY: Yeah, there's like kisses just everywhere.
293
00:11:31,647 --> 00:11:33,006
JOSEPH: Yeah, in my defense
294
00:11:33,046 --> 00:11:34,607
I think a lot of those
were group emails.
295
00:11:34,647 --> 00:11:36,086
CHRISTINE: They were. Joseph: Yeah.
296
00:11:36,127 --> 00:11:37,127
EVELYN: Why haven't I
received one of them?
297
00:11:37,166 --> 00:11:39,072
JOSEPH: I don't know. You'd have
to check your mailbox settings.
298
00:11:39,073 --> 00:11:43,326
- EVELYN: OK.
- MARY: I sometimes use hugs at the end of my emails.
299
00:11:43,367 --> 00:11:44,846
JERRY: What's a hug?
JOSEPH: Kind of like...
300
00:11:44,887 --> 00:11:46,925
JERRY: No. Get off. No, I mean
301
00:11:46,966 --> 00:11:49,006
how do you write a hug in email?
302
00:11:49,045 --> 00:11:51,007
MARY: Oh. Well, I
type a big capital "O,"
303
00:11:51,046 --> 00:11:53,686
or I use open and closed brackets.
304
00:11:53,726 --> 00:11:55,926
HILARY: Just to offer you
my professional opinion,
305
00:11:55,965 --> 00:11:57,805
and I'd say the same to the royals,
306
00:11:57,846 --> 00:12:00,607
I'd worry that might look a
little like an entranceway.
307
00:12:00,647 --> 00:12:03,806
MARY: Oh. What, like
I'm inviting someone in?
308
00:12:03,845 --> 00:12:05,926
- JERRY: Yeah, baby.
- JOSEPH: That's not allowed.
309
00:12:05,965 --> 00:12:07,287
- JERRY: What? "Yeah, baby"?
- JOSEPH: Yeah.
310
00:12:07,326 --> 00:12:09,206
JERRY: Oh, come on.
It's harmless, isn't it?
311
00:12:09,247 --> 00:12:10,446
It's just like two words.
312
00:12:10,487 --> 00:12:11,966
TUVA: So is "sugar tits."
313
00:12:12,007 --> 00:12:13,287
- JERRY: Thank you.
- HILARY: Christine, how do you
314
00:12:13,326 --> 00:12:14,726
usually sign off your emails?
315
00:12:14,766 --> 00:12:16,527
- Would you ever use a kiss?
- CHRISTINE: No.
316
00:12:16,565 --> 00:12:19,206
I only ever sign off with an
"X" if I want that person killed.
317
00:12:19,247 --> 00:12:20,846
HILARY: Hmm. Tony Blair does that.
318
00:12:20,887 --> 00:12:22,247
EVELYN: Is that why you
keep doing that to me?
319
00:12:22,287 --> 00:12:23,887
CHRISTINE: No. If I wanted you killed,
320
00:12:23,926 --> 00:12:27,127
I'd probably just do it in your sleep.
321
00:12:27,167 --> 00:12:28,407
EVELYN: Oh, my gosh.
322
00:12:28,446 --> 00:12:29,607
HILARY: So, one
additional thing I'm keen
323
00:12:29,647 --> 00:12:32,206
to examine within these sessions
324
00:12:32,247 --> 00:12:33,607
is the degree to which
325
00:12:33,647 --> 00:12:35,287
our decisions are affected
326
00:12:35,326 --> 00:12:36,767
by unconscious bias.
327
00:12:36,806 --> 00:12:37,806
JERRY: I wouldn't know.
328
00:12:37,846 --> 00:12:39,326
HILARY: Exactly. So,
329
00:12:39,367 --> 00:12:40,926
the best way I like to test this
330
00:12:40,966 --> 00:12:43,207
is by imagining that
the building is on fire
331
00:12:43,248 --> 00:12:45,967
and working out who
you would save first.
332
00:12:46,007 --> 00:12:47,726
- JOSEPH AND JERRY: Jerry.
- MARY: Quentin.
333
00:12:47,768 --> 00:12:49,608
- TUVA: Joseph.
- EVELYN: Mum.
334
00:12:49,647 --> 00:12:51,046
- CHRISTINE: Mary.
- MARY: Oh!
335
00:12:51,087 --> 00:12:52,767
- CHRISTINE: You're the lightest.
- MARY: Hmm.
336
00:12:52,806 --> 00:12:54,607
HILARY: Well, no, try and
ignore all other factors.
337
00:12:54,647 --> 00:12:56,607
So, let's pretend that you're Superman
338
00:12:56,647 --> 00:12:58,687
and therefore, the size and weight
339
00:12:58,726 --> 00:13:00,846
of an individual isn't important.
340
00:13:00,887 --> 00:13:03,046
So, assuming you're Superman, Jerry,
341
00:13:03,086 --> 00:13:05,288
would Mary be your first choice as well?
342
00:13:05,327 --> 00:13:07,367
JERRY: Uh, I'm not sure.
343
00:13:07,408 --> 00:13:08,846
I'd be worried about her wig
344
00:13:08,887 --> 00:13:10,926
catching fire and damaging my cape.
345
00:13:10,966 --> 00:13:12,806
- MARY: That's not a wig.
- EVELYN: What about me?
346
00:13:12,847 --> 00:13:14,846
JERRY: Oh, well, you'd
be OK for a few hours
347
00:13:14,887 --> 00:13:16,686
in your mom's glass box up there.
348
00:13:16,726 --> 00:13:19,528
- TUVA: Not if it melts.
- EVELYN: Oh, Tuva.
349
00:13:19,567 --> 00:13:20,727
HILARY: Chris, I'm sure you'd want
350
00:13:20,768 --> 00:13:22,288
to save Evelyn at some point.
351
00:13:22,327 --> 00:13:24,547
CHRISTINE: Well, I wouldn't want
to be accused of nepotism, would I?
352
00:13:24,548 --> 00:13:26,021
EVELYN: So, you'd
rather I burned to death?
353
00:13:26,022 --> 00:13:28,767
JOSEPH: To be honest, I don't think
any of this would have happened
354
00:13:28,806 --> 00:13:30,168
if I'd have been made fire
marshal in the first place.
355
00:13:30,207 --> 00:13:31,608
HILARY: So, what we actually recommend
356
00:13:31,648 --> 00:13:34,287
as a way of avoiding unconscious
bias within this scenario
357
00:13:34,327 --> 00:13:35,608
is to save people,
358
00:13:35,648 --> 00:13:37,447
but in alphabetical order.
359
00:13:37,488 --> 00:13:38,767
JERRY: Oh. Great.
360
00:13:38,806 --> 00:13:40,326
HILARY: Starting with you, Christine.
361
00:13:40,367 --> 00:13:42,047
- JERRY: What?
- HILARY: Followed by Evelyn.
362
00:13:42,086 --> 00:13:44,047
- EVELYN: Great.
- HILARY: And it would be me...
363
00:13:44,087 --> 00:13:46,288
Hilary... if I happened to be around.
364
00:13:46,327 --> 00:13:47,566
CHRISTINE: Yes, what a
shame you're only here
365
00:13:47,607 --> 00:13:49,047
for one day of the year.
366
00:13:49,086 --> 00:13:50,727
- JOSEPH: Like Santa Claus.
- MARY: Or a smear test.
367
00:13:50,768 --> 00:13:51,967
JOSEPH: Yes.
368
00:13:55,807 --> 00:13:57,087
HILARY: What I want to look at now
369
00:13:57,128 --> 00:13:58,567
is physical interaction.
370
00:13:58,608 --> 00:14:02,847
Now, I will warn you that some
of this is quite sensitive, but
371
00:14:02,888 --> 00:14:05,008
I did try some of these techniques out
372
00:14:05,047 --> 00:14:06,888
at a COBRA meeting last week,
373
00:14:06,927 --> 00:14:08,927
so, they are perfectly safe.
374
00:14:08,967 --> 00:14:12,248
Ah, Jerry, do you mind joining
me at the front, please?
375
00:14:12,288 --> 00:14:14,727
So, what I'm going to do
is I'm going to demonstrate
376
00:14:14,768 --> 00:14:17,008
how to hug a colleague the correct way
377
00:14:17,047 --> 00:14:18,967
from a legal point of view.
378
00:14:19,008 --> 00:14:23,648
OK, so, here we go.
And 1, 2, and then off.
379
00:14:24,807 --> 00:14:26,608
Now, if you want to put a bit of force
380
00:14:26,649 --> 00:14:28,128
back into your pushback, just to prove
381
00:14:28,169 --> 00:14:30,687
there's no agenda there,
that's absolutely fine.
382
00:14:30,727 --> 00:14:32,288
But what if your colleague
383
00:14:32,327 --> 00:14:34,408
has just witnessed something horrendous
384
00:14:34,447 --> 00:14:36,369
on the web and you feel
385
00:14:36,408 --> 00:14:38,248
like a longer hug is necessary?
386
00:14:38,288 --> 00:14:40,488
So, you might want to go for a...
387
00:14:40,528 --> 00:14:43,128
a 1, 2, 3, and then...
388
00:14:45,248 --> 00:14:46,369
JERRY: Jesus.
389
00:14:46,408 --> 00:14:49,048
HILARY: OK? So, why don't
we all give that a go?
390
00:14:50,648 --> 00:14:52,008
MARY: Hold on to my hand.
391
00:14:52,047 --> 00:14:54,008
1... 1.
392
00:14:54,047 --> 00:14:56,567
HILARY: Be careful. She's ancient.
393
00:14:56,609 --> 00:14:57,848
JOSEPH: Give me a hug.
394
00:14:57,889 --> 00:14:59,567
CHRISTINE: OK, here? Here?
395
00:14:59,608 --> 00:15:02,207
- That was awkward, actually.
- EVELYN: Yeah.
396
00:15:02,248 --> 00:15:04,608
HILARY: On the count
of 3, I want you to all
397
00:15:04,648 --> 00:15:05,807
arrange yourselves in order
398
00:15:05,847 --> 00:15:08,208
of who you feel is most likely
399
00:15:08,248 --> 00:15:09,528
to be taken advantage of.
400
00:15:09,567 --> 00:15:10,928
1, 2, 3, go.
401
00:15:19,207 --> 00:15:21,087
Fantastic. Now, please sit back down.
402
00:15:29,768 --> 00:15:32,289
- JERRY: Ah, I have a question.
- HILARY: Sure.
403
00:15:32,328 --> 00:15:34,409
JERRY: What if someone were to,
404
00:15:34,448 --> 00:15:36,009
I don't know, say,
405
00:15:36,048 --> 00:15:39,328
grab your ass or your crotch.
406
00:15:39,369 --> 00:15:43,489
Would I report that as
sexual harassment or...
407
00:15:43,529 --> 00:15:45,009
HILARY: Or what?
408
00:15:45,048 --> 00:15:46,609
JERRY: Or would I
409
00:15:46,649 --> 00:15:48,448
correctly interpret that
410
00:15:48,489 --> 00:15:50,169
as someone having
411
00:15:50,208 --> 00:15:52,889
extremely strong feelings for me?
412
00:15:52,928 --> 00:15:55,688
HILARY: I wouldn't have thought so, no.
413
00:15:55,728 --> 00:15:56,848
JERRY: Really?
414
00:15:56,889 --> 00:15:59,088
Then why is that person
415
00:15:59,129 --> 00:16:01,328
going around grabbing people's crotches?
416
00:16:01,369 --> 00:16:04,208
HILARY: I guess because it
makes them feel powerful,
417
00:16:04,249 --> 00:16:05,769
especially when they know
418
00:16:05,808 --> 00:16:08,129
that no one will ever
believe the other party.
419
00:16:08,169 --> 00:16:09,928
JERRY: What? Why would they do that?
420
00:16:09,968 --> 00:16:11,609
I mean, that's totally fucked up.
421
00:16:11,649 --> 00:16:12,769
HILARY: I know, but sadly,
422
00:16:12,808 --> 00:16:14,009
it's what the science shows us
423
00:16:14,048 --> 00:16:15,489
again and again.
424
00:16:15,529 --> 00:16:19,048
JERRY: OK. For those of you who
don't know what's going on here...
425
00:16:20,448 --> 00:16:22,649
Hilary grabbed my crotch
426
00:16:22,688 --> 00:16:26,289
and my tush earlier, multiple times.
427
00:16:26,328 --> 00:16:28,129
HILARY: OK, so, now might be a good time
428
00:16:28,169 --> 00:16:31,048
to look at how best to
deal with both accusations.
429
00:16:31,088 --> 00:16:33,889
- JERRY: What?
- HILARY: Mary, do you mind joining us, please?
430
00:16:33,928 --> 00:16:36,048
JERRY: Wait, no, hold
it. This is bullshit.
431
00:16:36,088 --> 00:16:37,609
- She's lying.
- HILARY: So, Jerry,
432
00:16:37,650 --> 00:16:39,529
what I want you to
do is just demonstrate
433
00:16:39,568 --> 00:16:41,169
what you believe happened
434
00:16:41,208 --> 00:16:42,609
as part of a role play.
435
00:16:42,649 --> 00:16:45,129
JERRY: Fine. On you or... or Mary?
436
00:16:45,169 --> 00:16:46,449
MARY AND HILARY: On Mary.
437
00:16:47,889 --> 00:16:51,169
JERRY: Uh... mm. No-no.
438
00:16:51,208 --> 00:16:52,769
No-no, I... no,
439
00:16:52,810 --> 00:16:54,289
I'm not falling for this.
440
00:16:54,330 --> 00:16:55,728
There might be a trap.
441
00:16:55,769 --> 00:16:56,928
HILARY: Mary, is it a trap?
442
00:16:56,968 --> 00:16:58,448
MARY: I don't think so.
443
00:16:58,489 --> 00:17:00,130
No one's ever called it that before.
444
00:17:00,169 --> 00:17:01,768
HILARY: And what if it
were the other way around?
445
00:17:01,809 --> 00:17:03,090
JERRY: What, like, I grab her ass?
446
00:17:03,130 --> 00:17:04,370
HILARY: What if she were to grab you?
447
00:17:04,409 --> 00:17:05,570
- MARY: Now?
- JERRY: No!
448
00:17:05,609 --> 00:17:06,609
HILARY: Whenever you're ready.
449
00:17:06,649 --> 00:17:07,929
JERRY: Mary, what the fuck?
450
00:17:07,969 --> 00:17:09,729
Isn't someone gonna say something?
451
00:17:09,769 --> 00:17:11,688
MARY: Sorry, are we
still in the role play?
452
00:17:11,728 --> 00:17:12,810
- HILARY: Yes.
- JERRY: No!
453
00:17:12,850 --> 00:17:14,009
JOSEPH: I'm really confused.
454
00:17:14,050 --> 00:17:15,529
CHRISTINE: Great. Are we done?
455
00:17:15,570 --> 00:17:17,208
- HILARY: Mary, thank you.
- JERRY: What...
456
00:17:17,249 --> 00:17:20,050
what... are you all just
gonna sit there? Chris!
457
00:17:20,090 --> 00:17:21,529
CHRISTINE: I'm sorry. I was miles away.
458
00:17:21,570 --> 00:17:24,570
HILARY: And what Jerry's doing
here is pretending to object.
459
00:17:24,610 --> 00:17:26,528
- JERRY: No, I'm not.
- EVELYN: Uh, that's really clever.
460
00:17:26,569 --> 00:17:27,850
JERRY: Why would I do that?
461
00:17:27,890 --> 00:17:30,410
HILARY: To demonstrate what
happens when someone cries wolf.
462
00:17:30,449 --> 00:17:33,208
JERRY: I'm not... I'm
not crying wolf, OK?
463
00:17:33,248 --> 00:17:34,610
It really happened.
464
00:17:34,650 --> 00:17:36,170
TUVA: That's exactly what the boy said.
465
00:17:36,209 --> 00:17:38,089
JERRY: Well, I'm being
serious this time.
466
00:17:38,130 --> 00:17:39,609
- HILARY: He said that, too.
- JOSEPH: Oh, I get it.
467
00:17:39,650 --> 00:17:41,890
So, you and Hilary are in cahoots.
468
00:17:41,929 --> 00:17:43,289
- HILARY: Yes.
- JERRY: What? No!
469
00:17:43,330 --> 00:17:44,929
CHRISTINE: Wonderful. A happy finish.
470
00:17:44,969 --> 00:17:48,009
HILARY: And, of course, the sad
thing about a false accusation is
471
00:17:48,049 --> 00:17:50,689
not only does it make
the individual look stupid
472
00:17:50,729 --> 00:17:52,769
but it also undermines those cases
473
00:17:52,810 --> 00:17:55,850
where someone has
genuinely been harassed.
474
00:17:55,890 --> 00:17:58,769
JERRY: I have been harassed.
475
00:17:58,810 --> 00:18:00,810
Joseph, when I came back in here,
476
00:18:00,850 --> 00:18:02,810
what's the first thing I said to you?
477
00:18:02,850 --> 00:18:04,249
- JOSEPH: Move up.
- JERRY: No, after that.
478
00:18:04,289 --> 00:18:06,410
JOSEPH: Uh, that you think
she's really into you.
479
00:18:06,449 --> 00:18:08,489
- JERRY: No, not that.
- EVELYN: That you've got syphilis?
480
00:18:08,529 --> 00:18:10,529
- JERRY: Yeah... no. What?
- JOSEPH: Is that what you said?
481
00:18:10,570 --> 00:18:11,570
I must've misheard.
482
00:18:11,610 --> 00:18:13,449
JERRY: No. No. OK.
483
00:18:13,489 --> 00:18:15,370
I'm genuinely starting to think
484
00:18:15,410 --> 00:18:17,090
that you guys are all in on this.
485
00:18:17,131 --> 00:18:18,651
HILARY: Well, it is
common for men like you
486
00:18:18,689 --> 00:18:20,009
to try and play the victim.
487
00:18:20,050 --> 00:18:22,432
JERRY: Whoa-whoa-whoa. Did
you just say "men like me"?
488
00:18:22,433 --> 00:18:25,930
What, you don't think men
like me can get harassed?
489
00:18:25,969 --> 00:18:27,890
Well, then you don't
know about the time...
490
00:18:27,929 --> 00:18:29,370
HILARY: Wonderful. And we're
out of it. [SNAPS FINGERS]
491
00:18:29,410 --> 00:18:30,850
- CHRISTINE: Fantastic.
- JERRY: Wait... no, no.
492
00:18:30,890 --> 00:18:32,410
you can't... you can't just do that.
493
00:18:32,449 --> 00:18:33,811
And we're back in. [SNAPS FINGERS]
494
00:18:33,850 --> 00:18:35,331
HILARY: Time's up, I'm afraid, Jerry.
495
00:18:35,370 --> 00:18:37,171
JERRY: OK. Oh... you know what?
496
00:18:37,209 --> 00:18:38,331
No. You were right.
497
00:18:38,371 --> 00:18:39,610
JOSEPH: You do have syphilis?
498
00:18:39,650 --> 00:18:41,411
JERRY: No. I mean, we're in cahoots.
499
00:18:41,449 --> 00:18:44,769
- JOSEPH: Oh.
- JERRY: Hilary and I have been in cahoots the whole time.
500
00:18:44,810 --> 00:18:47,529
I mean, this whole
thing has been planned.
501
00:18:47,570 --> 00:18:49,290
Her grabbing my junk was planned.
502
00:18:49,330 --> 00:18:52,209
Her grabbing my... my
back thingy was planned.
503
00:18:52,250 --> 00:18:55,611
Um, this... this was
planned right there.
504
00:18:55,651 --> 00:18:57,970
That's planned. Yeah. And this.
505
00:18:58,010 --> 00:19:02,370
This was planned. And this is planned.
506
00:19:02,410 --> 00:19:04,610
And this is planned.
507
00:19:20,690 --> 00:19:22,811
And we're out of it. [SNAPS FINGERS]
508
00:19:32,051 --> 00:19:33,091
HILARY: [PUFF]
509
00:19:40,371 --> 00:19:44,209
JERRY: No! What? Hi. Yes.
510
00:19:44,250 --> 00:19:45,571
HILARY: Just so you know,
511
00:19:45,611 --> 00:19:47,051
I won't be pressing charges.
512
00:19:48,970 --> 00:19:51,091
JERRY: Thank you. Me, neither.
513
00:19:52,490 --> 00:19:56,450
I just have to attend a
3-day anti-harassment course.
514
00:19:56,490 --> 00:20:00,051
HILARY: Yes, me, too. See you there.
515
00:20:00,091 --> 00:20:01,131
JERRY: Oh.
516
00:20:04,331 --> 00:20:06,250
NOEL COWARD: ? Hurray, hurray, hurray ?
517
00:20:06,290 --> 00:20:07,811
? Misery's on the way ?
518
00:20:07,852 --> 00:20:11,611
? There are bad times
just around the corner ?
519
00:20:11,651 --> 00:20:15,571
? There are dark clouds
hurtling through the sky ?
520
00:20:15,611 --> 00:20:17,811
? It's as clear as crystal ?
521
00:20:17,852 --> 00:20:19,571
? From Bridlington to Bristol ?
522
00:20:19,611 --> 00:20:21,611
? That we can't save democracy ?
523
00:20:21,651 --> 00:20:23,250
? And we don't much care ?
524
00:20:23,291 --> 00:20:25,611
? We'd better all learn the lyrics ?
525
00:20:25,651 --> 00:20:27,770
? Of the old "Red Flag" ?
526
00:20:27,812 --> 00:20:32,131
? And wait until we drop down dead ?
527
00:20:32,181 --> 00:20:36,731
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