Original subtitles

Where the hell's my new Ricky?

Hey, who's that?

(man) My son, who will be stepping up as Ricky Raccoon here.

You never mentioned your full name.

I get guys like Ian Chandler. You should stay away.

(whispering) Do you think he likes me?

Throwing yourself at Happyland royalty

when you have a boyfriend who loves you?

(Harper) My boyfriend who only has eyes for me.

(Elena) I got a phone call from James Chandler.

Ian's dad. And your dad.

Wait, what? I'm so sorry, Lucy.

I never thought that I would have to tell you.

You always told me that my dad was some... deadbeat loser,

but he's James Chandler, the President of Happyland.

What exactly is your definition of deadbeat, Mom?

Look, you're right, but you just don't know him

the way that I do. But now I can! I mean, he-- he's here.

I have a dad and I can finally talk to him.

Lucy! Listen.

I know I'm putting a lot on you right now,

but it's gonna be best for everybody

if we just keep this between us, trust me.

You lied to me for 17 years.

I have a right to know about him,

and he has a right to know about me.

I have my reasons for not telling you.

Because of your reasons I made out with my brother.

That's wrong!

It's years-of-therapy wrong!

I'm so sorry, I wish I could explain this to you.

Just leave me alone.

*

*

(metallic clanking)

Hey, Will told me about Relief Partners not happening.

You okay? Uh...

I've been awesomer.

Do you mind?

Today sucks already. At least you can

distract yourself with crazy hot Ian Chandler.

From your chemistry during your performance yesterday

I'd say he'd love to distract you over and over.

We'll agree to disagree on the crazy hot issue.

You should get some action somewhere.

Not from Ian.

Oh! There you are.

*

No, you can't!

Can't what? Kiss.

Oh, based on yesterday I seem to remember

that I can and we did.

We should forget about yesterday.

What, is this about your mom breaking it up?

Because I'm great with moms. No.

Are you seeing someone? Because I would say

I don't want to get in the way,

but really, I have no problem getting in the way.

I'm not seeing anyone--

Hey, Luz.

You ready to get out there and run some toddler interference?

Hey, I'm Ian.

Will.

Moving to Happyland kind of a birthright for you, uh?

My dad always says Ricky Raccoon's a part of the family.

Makes us what, third cousins?

Yeah.

Come on, Will, we're on in five.

Wish I had my third cousin's car. Just walk.

(carnival music and chattering)

(girl) Hi.

Super cute, you guys.

Okay, Ricky's got some new friends to meet.

Man, I'm boiling in this thing,

I feel like a lobster.

A lobster in a really big raccoon suit.

Being a character sucks.

Forty-five minutes as a princess and I was ready

to slit my own throat with my tiara.

Wow, that got dark. You okay?

Uh...

Ha ha, suck it, Ricky!

Oh! Nacho bomb!

Oh, come on, not again!

Should find those kids and beat their asses.

Sorry, I gotta go. Okay.

Um, you're still working, you know.

(woman) Mr. Chandler doesn't see park workers here.

But I'm happy to refer you to HR.

It's fine, I'll just find him myself.

Miss, you can't.

If you keep going I'll call security.

I'm just gonna -- Miss!

Gonna what?

I just have to see James Chandler.

Well, this is the executive building,

not the employee lounge, so if you have an issue

go through the proper channels.

And do it off the clock.

I have a right to be here, I'm his...

long-time employee.

So you know how to punch out.

Look, I'm sorry, but I'm gonna have to put you on probation.

Another infraction and you're gonna be suspended without pay.

Miss Velez, your uniform.

Ah... nachos.

Look, I'll let this go.

Now, what do you want to talk to my father about?

Don't worry about it.

*

I don't know what's more bizarre,

you day-drinking or on probation.

You've never broken a rule in your life. Not true.

That day they gave out free Happyland baseball caps?

I took two. Oh, wow!

Practically a gang initiation.

So, why did you run out on your shift?

Fight with my mom, you know.

Do you ever wonder about your mom?

What she was like or what it would have been like

if she was around? Sure.

I mean, she died when I was so young.

Kinda make up whatever fantasy I want

about how it would have been.

That's a plus, you know, if there is one.

But she picked my dad, so the only thing we know

for sure is she has crap taste in men.

(chuckles)

Hey, guys.

Started pre-game without me.

Big drinker over here, can you believe it?

Well, I better catch up.

There's a rager happening in Dazzle tonight.

Finally!

I've been waiting to enjoy the perks of your big fancy move.

Hmm. Top-shelf booze,

food that's not from Price Club,

stairs indoors. Mm-hmm.

Ooh! (laughs)

I don't know. Get out, have some fun,

Party Lucy.

Okay, Party Lucy.

Game on.

* Get down get up again *

* Get up and move

* Get down get up again... *

*

Okay, this place is amazing.

Is it tacky if I Instagram it?

Definitely. Yeah.

Who lives here?

Hey, there's Stella and Ansel!

Stella and Ansel?

I thought those were beer names. Let's just drink.

(Lucy) Perfect, shots.

Wow, Party Lucy trying to drown out Angsty Lucy?

Careful, rookie. Hey, you're driving tonight.

I'm just enjoying the perks.

Welcome to my home.

I'm glad you could make it.

This is your place?

My parents, yeah.

But my mom's still packing up back East,

and Dad's out wining and dining investors, so...

Ian, you met Will.

Right, I-- I didn't recognize you without the furry tail.

Ah, it's a great house, man.

Really reminds me of my place.

Oh, yeah? Yeah,

in that my house is also technically a building.

(forced laughter)

So I'm gonna go mingle.

Good talk.

So I've been getting some definite vibes

from that redhead over there.

You know her story?

That's my girlfriend.

Short story.

(Lucy) Hold on, I think I got this.

(coin clanking and exclamations)

I drink again?

Am I winning or am I losing?

(man) You are losing. (woman)

Ohh! Ahh!

Okay, moving on.

(gasps)

I'm so not the girl who splashes.

Sorry, I-- I gotta disagree.

(laughing) I'm so sorry,

uh, person I splashed.

How about you just go with Noah?

And what are you doing here, Noah?

Getting splashed. Yeah.

And interning at the park in Marketing.

Oh, a fancy-pants college intern.

You know, must be fun dropping in for the summer,

making twice as much pay as us local grunts.

Hey, I only applied because it said

there were free bagel Fridays.

You grew up here.

Um, your parents work at the park?

Yeah... they both do.

Come on, let's not talk.

(girl giggling)

(Harper) So how do you guys like it here?

Dads are so hypocritical.

My parents are totally into some wife-swapping thing.

That sucks, man.

No, it's awesome, for my blog.

(chuckles)

Hey, Harp, you wanna go?

Grab another round? Riley and I are on it.

She's a buzz feed to the beat of her own street style.

What's street style?

Like what people wear on the street.

Isn't that just called... clothes?

*

I knew I'm awesome at this.

Yeah, punch my fist in the air like a pro.

I don't know what you're talking about,

but I'll assume it's funny.

(both laugh)

*

Okay, Luc. Hey!

Back in a minute.

Just have to go powder our noses.

(Lucy) Harper!

I do realize it sounds like we're doing coke, but we're not.

Go, come with me.

(Noah) Wait--

Okay, come on, you.

Looks like somebody needs a time-out.

What? You're the one who said I needed

to have a night out and have some fun.

I meant Lucy fun, not "Black Swan" fun.

You're acting like a totally different person.

Says the girl who ditched her boyfriend and campaigned

for Miss Dazzle when we walked in the door.

I'm just meeting new people.

Without sticking my tongue down their throats, by the way.

Oh, yeah, you're real good at keeping it real.

You know, you've been ignoring Will

and trying to trade up all night.

Wow, turns out you're kinda a bad drunk.

You're kind of a bad non-drunk.

I'm just trying to keep you from turning yourself

into the party pariah. Too late.

Maybe I don't fit in here.

I'm out.

(muffled music)

Hey, guys, you see where Will went?

Who's Will?

(coughs, then groans)

(dramatic music)

Ugh... hey, dad!

Welcome to the party.

She, uh, she...

doesn't want me to drive, but I got it under control.

Hi, I'm Lucy.

Thanks, Lucy.

I can handle it from here, okay?

But-- Hey, you are the man.

Don't you have someone else's buzz to kill?

Come on.

Hey-- Don't.

Ian, what the hell is going on?

Hey, I work in the park now, you know?

I thought I should meet my co-workers.

You screwed things up for me in New York.

I'm not gonna let you put my reputation

in jeopardy here, too.

Dad, again, I'm sorry about before.

I didn't realize it would affect your job.

There are underage employees drinking in my house.

I'm the president of this company.

You didn't think that might possibly affect my job?

Dad, Dad, we need to get you out of here.

We don't need you on some kid's Tumblr.

Ian can wrap things up.

We'll be back in an hour.

Why did you do that?

Pretending to be wasted?

You don't know my dad.

Meeting the big boss drunk is not a good move.

So... I'd say another drink,

but it seems you're about four

past your limit of what, one?

How about some water?

Okay... but I should go.

You should drink something first, really.

Water works, trust me.

No, I'm fine. Are you okay? I really want to--

Seriously, just back off, okay?

Just leave me alone.

You heard her.

You have a pretty warped idea

of girls giving you definite vibes.

We'll take you home.

Watch yourself, man.

*

(party chatter)

Okay, party's on the move.

(people groaning) (music stops)

Let's go.

(girl) What?

(indistinct chattering)

I should find my boyfriend.

Oh... he just left with Lucy.

(dramatic music)

Where were you?

I'm fine, walking's just hard.

What the hell is this?

(groans)

(slurring words) You're a great inspiration, Mom.

Yeah, so...

we were at a party.

She drank a little.

A lot of a little.

Did she tell you what happened?

You know, just rough week.

Didn't get Relief Partners, now she's on probation.

She didn't tell you.

No.

But thank you for bringing her home, Will.

You're a good friend.

Fill her up with some Gatorade, huh?

She's done it for me enough.

Oh, baby, what can I do?

Oh.

(people screaming and laughing)

(indistinct chatter)

Hmm?

I'm good, thanks.

Hmm.

Oh, hey.

You look like an Amanda Bynes selfie.

You okay?

Turns out I am a really bad drunk.

True, and apparently I'm a really bad girlfriend.

Look, about last night...

Let's agree that none of what we said last night counts.

I hope that you're right.

Will still hasn't texted me back.

He'll come around.

You may have to grovel a little.

(loud musical instrument notes)

I know you and I only started hanging out because of him,

but I'm your friend too, okay?

Trying to look out for you last night,

and stopping the whole random college intern hookup.

He was a cute random intern, right?

Tell me he didn't have a neck beard.

Nerdy cute. Okay.

You should make that happen when you're not auditioning

for "Spring Breakers 2."

Come here. (giggles)

Oh, you still smell like rum!

And tequila.

Lucy's first hangover.

Okay, what's the worst part of it?

Is it the pounding headache or the constant dry heaving?

You're the worst part of it.

I'm greeting in the Enchanted Grotto.

Gotta pick up my poncho. Hmm, have fun.

Miss Velez.

(clears throat)

You're not going on this shift.

Is this about probation?

Because I thought I had another chance.

No, I saw you last night.

You're a good influence on my brother.

I want you to look after him in the park.

Ian? Yeah.

You know, as a greeter I work with all characters.

I can't spend that much time with one Valor.

Well, you're not gonna be the greeter anymore.

You'll be the permanent Princess Adriana

to his Prince Valor,

so check in with Wardrobe.

Oh, it's a pay bump, congrats.

What's this? You don't have to cover for me again.

Theodore assigned me to play Adriana opposite Ian.

(whispering) I have to pretend to be in love with my brother,

who's very persistent. You'll be fine.

Just let him down easy,

and don't make him suspicious.

Mom, we can't sweep everything under some magic carpet.

I met James Chandler.

Did you say anything?

No, it wasn't the time.

But he's not going anywhere and neither are we.

And every time I'm in this park, which is every day,

I can have the opportunity to talk to my father.

So unless you tell me whatever it is you're not telling me,

then I might.

(door closes)

(sighs) Okay.

A long time ago,

I believed James and I had something.

He said we had something.

And yes, he was married, but...

I was romantic and stupid.

I guess not a lot has changed there.

He never called me after I told him.

He just sent me money to get it taken care of

and he left for New York.

I couldn't go through with it.

But then I had you,

and you made me so happy.

I never wanted you to know that he didn't want you.

That's why I kept to, he was a secret.

Okay?

Come here.

(both sighing)

Honey, you have done this already.

And if Theodore assigns you, then you have to.

But Ian and I-- it's just, it's too weird.

You are tough. You're my girl.

And I know you can do this, okay?

(knocking on door)

Sorry to interrupt. Are you ready?

*

Your friend's a little agro, huh?

He's just protective, like a brother.

I mean, you know.

(speaking foreign language)

For the record, I wasn't trying to take advantage last night.

I know.

Sure, but I'd still like to get to know you,

preferably when one or both of us isn't in an altered state.

You guys have to hold hands during this part.

It's the rules.

(kid) Mom, can I do it?

(kid 2) Come on. (kid 3)

Can we just keep this professional?

Am I making this whole thing up in my head?

(camera shutters clicking)

You felt it, right?

Um, sorry, time for the kiss.

No! I can't!

What?

I can't. My mom, your dad.

What about them?

You're my brother.

What?

(camera shutters clicking)

Oh!

(exclamations)

(cheers and applause)

Not only did my dad have an affair,

he had a secret love child who I made out with?

Welcome to character training.

If Ian and I don't pass this in-park eval together,

my mom and I will be evicted.

Being stuck in there with Ian isn't helping.

You're messing with Lucy's livelihood.

Why so riled up, raccoon?

Hit a nerve 'cause you haven't hit it with Lucy yet?

(growling and exclamations)

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