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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:04,567 --> 00:00:06,267 and may contain mature subject matter. 2 00:00:06,266 --> 00:00:09,996 Viewer discretion is advised. 3 00:00:10,133 --> 00:00:14,273 and may contain m(indistinct yelling). 4 00:00:14,400 --> 00:00:16,030 -Shut up! 5 00:00:16,166 --> 00:00:18,526 Look, I know this drought's been rough. 6 00:00:18,667 --> 00:00:20,197 We're all thirsty. 7 00:00:20,333 --> 00:00:22,373 Rationing water's been a nightmare! 8 00:00:22,500 --> 00:00:25,030 -Yeah! Do you have any idea what a monkey tail smells like 9 00:00:25,166 --> 00:00:27,366 if you don't bathe for two weeks? 10 00:00:27,500 --> 00:00:29,930 -Mop water and expired meat. 11 00:00:31,200 --> 00:00:32,930 -Well, our problems are over. 12 00:00:33,066 --> 00:00:34,666 Thanks to Gabe, I guess... 13 00:00:34,800 --> 00:00:36,530 Lay it on us, Dr. Science. 14 00:00:36,667 --> 00:00:39,067 -I call it the Aqua-Gabe 3000! 15 00:00:39,200 --> 00:00:41,530 ♪ 16 00:00:41,667 --> 00:00:43,497 (gasping) 17 00:00:43,633 --> 00:00:46,833 It's an assembly of ultra-rare parts that filter out toxins, 18 00:00:46,967 --> 00:00:48,597 leaving pure clean water! 19 00:00:48,734 --> 00:00:51,404 Well, 74 % pure clean water... 20 00:00:51,533 --> 00:00:53,703 -Skip the math, Elon Musky! 21 00:00:53,834 --> 00:00:55,934 Point is... 22 00:00:56,066 --> 00:00:58,666 (squeaking noise) 23 00:01:02,200 --> 00:01:04,800 ... the water's back, baby! 24 00:01:04,934 --> 00:01:08,204 (cheering) 25 00:01:10,900 --> 00:01:12,730 (screaming) 26 00:01:14,800 --> 00:01:18,000 -Okay, who's the d-bag that dumped garbage in my spot? 27 00:01:18,133 --> 00:01:19,903 Come on. 28 00:01:21,734 --> 00:01:25,874 (apocalyptic music) 29 00:01:28,500 --> 00:01:31,700 (theme music) 30 00:01:39,667 --> 00:01:43,027 ♪ 31 00:01:50,066 --> 00:01:51,566 (growling) 32 00:01:55,667 --> 00:01:58,427 avenged to? 33 00:01:58,567 --> 00:02:01,297 -Yeah, yeah, terrible drought, whole town's gonna die, 34 00:02:01,433 --> 00:02:04,433 all my fault... Jeez, let it go already. 35 00:02:04,567 --> 00:02:06,497 Why are we even looking for water? 36 00:02:06,633 --> 00:02:09,903 We should be looking for Mom's drone. It means she's not dead! 37 00:02:10,033 --> 00:02:13,033 -Yes! And if we don't find water soon, we'll be not not dead! 38 00:02:14,867 --> 00:02:17,367 Dead. It means we'll be dead. 39 00:02:17,500 --> 00:02:19,400 -Knock yourself out, dweeb! 40 00:02:19,533 --> 00:02:21,373 I'm gonna find Mom's drone! 41 00:02:21,500 --> 00:02:23,930 I got the eye of a freakin' eagle! 42 00:02:24,066 --> 00:02:26,726 ♪ 43 00:02:33,233 --> 00:02:35,833 Ugh... 44 00:02:35,967 --> 00:02:39,727 (suspenseful music) 45 00:02:43,133 --> 00:02:45,403 What the...? 46 00:02:45,533 --> 00:02:48,433 (aggressive squeaking) 47 00:02:48,567 --> 00:02:51,567 (high pitch scream) 48 00:02:53,467 --> 00:02:55,997 (squeaking) 49 00:03:02,667 --> 00:03:05,597 (Rafe screams.) 50 00:03:07,767 --> 00:03:09,527 -(man's voice): Be calm. 51 00:03:09,667 --> 00:03:12,227 I have interfaced with your cerebellum to speak unto you. 52 00:03:12,367 --> 00:03:13,967 Praise be, 53 00:03:14,100 --> 00:03:15,800 I am the Gord. 54 00:03:15,934 --> 00:03:18,504 -Huh? The Lord? Like the guy who watches over us 55 00:03:18,633 --> 00:03:20,673 and sees me when I'm cranking it? 56 00:03:20,800 --> 00:03:22,670 -No, not the Lord! 57 00:03:22,800 --> 00:03:24,270 The Gord! 58 00:03:24,400 --> 00:03:26,700 I was once a mega-church pastor. 59 00:03:26,834 --> 00:03:29,774 Now, thanks to radiation, I'm a six-legged pinkish thingy. 60 00:03:29,900 --> 00:03:32,130 I'm honestly totally fine with it. 61 00:03:32,266 --> 00:03:34,296 Praise Gord! 62 00:03:34,433 --> 00:03:36,173 Hmm... You are Rafe. 63 00:03:36,300 --> 00:03:38,700 From the town of St. Zephyr. 64 00:03:38,834 --> 00:03:42,174 You have one brother, Gabe, a major dweeb. 65 00:03:42,300 --> 00:03:44,800 -Wow, it's like you're in my head. 66 00:03:44,934 --> 00:03:46,374 -Yes, I just told you! 67 00:03:46,500 --> 00:03:48,370 I interfaced with your cerebellum! 68 00:03:48,500 --> 00:03:50,370 You are the Chosen One! 69 00:03:50,500 --> 00:03:53,970 Together, we shall bring the Word of Gord to St. Zephyr, 70 00:03:54,100 --> 00:03:55,730 and beyond! 71 00:03:55,867 --> 00:03:57,367 -Cool, very cool. 72 00:03:57,500 --> 00:03:59,500 But I'm kinda busy right now looking for my Mom. 73 00:03:59,633 --> 00:04:01,573 -Then your mother we shall find! 74 00:04:01,700 --> 00:04:03,130 -What? Really? 75 00:04:03,266 --> 00:04:05,466 -Ask and ye shall receive. 76 00:04:05,600 --> 00:04:08,200 For the Gord works in mysterious ways. 77 00:04:08,333 --> 00:04:11,403 You have been chosen for a great destiny. 78 00:04:11,533 --> 00:04:14,003 Now, sleep. 79 00:04:15,367 --> 00:04:18,597 Sleep so I may infiltrate your mind... 80 00:04:18,734 --> 00:04:21,704 Yikes! What's with all the wrestlers in here? 81 00:04:21,834 --> 00:04:24,404 Hello, handsome... 82 00:04:27,767 --> 00:04:29,167 (gulp) 83 00:04:29,300 --> 00:04:31,030 -Way to go, AENUS. 84 00:04:31,166 --> 00:04:33,726 Now I'll never reach my boys without that drone! 85 00:04:33,867 --> 00:04:36,027 -(AENUS): It merely ran out of battery power. 86 00:04:36,166 --> 00:04:39,066 But it has a solar panel that recharges in just 60 hours. 87 00:04:39,200 --> 00:04:41,070 -Sixty hours? Are you kidding me?! 88 00:04:41,200 --> 00:04:43,170 That kind of incompetence is exactly why I dropped out 89 00:04:43,300 --> 00:04:44,670 of society. 90 00:04:44,800 --> 00:04:47,000 -(AENUS): And here I thought it was due to untreated 91 00:04:47,133 --> 00:04:49,003 paranoid schizophrenia. -Hey! 92 00:04:49,133 --> 00:04:50,633 -(AENUS): Judith, I'm concerned. 93 00:04:50,767 --> 00:04:53,097 You're using alcohol to repress your feelings! 94 00:04:53,233 --> 00:04:55,133 -What should I be using it for? 95 00:04:55,266 --> 00:04:57,196 Smashing the shit out of this bunker? 96 00:04:57,333 --> 00:04:59,733 -(AENUS): Stop! That turns on the hall light! 97 00:04:59,867 --> 00:05:02,267 A needless waste of power! 98 00:05:02,400 --> 00:05:04,170 That turns up the thermostat! 99 00:05:04,300 --> 00:05:06,600 Now you'll be slightly too warm! 100 00:05:06,734 --> 00:05:09,134 (Justine screams.) 101 00:05:09,266 --> 00:05:12,666 And that just caused our satellite to self-destruct! 102 00:05:12,800 --> 00:05:14,430 -Oh, is that bad? 103 00:05:14,567 --> 00:05:16,427 -(AENUS): What do you think?! 104 00:05:28,166 --> 00:05:31,266 -Is Rafe here? We split up, but he never came back! 105 00:05:31,400 --> 00:05:32,830 -Haven't seen him. 106 00:05:32,967 --> 00:05:36,267 You find water? We're down to our last sips! 107 00:05:36,400 --> 00:05:40,170 -I had to choose between drinking and watering my Trixie. 108 00:05:40,300 --> 00:05:42,930 Obviously, I watered Trixie. 109 00:05:43,066 --> 00:05:46,496 It'll so be worth it when I smoke you! 110 00:05:46,633 --> 00:05:48,033 -I drank holy water! 111 00:05:48,166 --> 00:05:49,826 Now I fear to tinkle, 112 00:05:49,967 --> 00:05:51,567 lest it offend Jehovah! 113 00:05:51,700 --> 00:05:53,630 -You hear that? The old man's afraid to piss! 114 00:05:53,767 --> 00:05:55,267 What kind of life is that? 115 00:05:55,400 --> 00:05:57,600 -I can lead us to water! 116 00:05:57,734 --> 00:05:59,604 -Yes! You found some? 117 00:05:59,734 --> 00:06:02,104 -Even better: I found the Gord. 118 00:06:02,233 --> 00:06:04,773 He sent me to save all of you. 119 00:06:06,367 --> 00:06:08,767 -Um... Is that Gord? 120 00:06:08,900 --> 00:06:11,970 -Yes! Gord Almighty speaks to me in my head. 121 00:06:12,100 --> 00:06:14,530 -He bears the mark of the Beast! 122 00:06:14,667 --> 00:06:16,527 The Prince of Lies! 123 00:06:16,667 --> 00:06:19,227 Heed not his words! 124 00:06:20,467 --> 00:06:23,527 Excuse me, I have to go recycle the holy water. 125 00:06:23,667 --> 00:06:25,397 Oh, too late... 126 00:06:28,166 --> 00:06:29,866 -(Gord): Chosen One! 127 00:06:30,000 --> 00:06:33,130 You must rally your people and leave the town at once! 128 00:06:33,266 --> 00:06:36,096 -But I just got back! I haven't even dropped my afternoon deuce. 129 00:06:36,233 --> 00:06:38,403 -(Gord): Do you want to see your mother or not? 130 00:06:38,533 --> 00:06:41,803 Sweet, gentle, lovely Judith. 131 00:06:43,467 --> 00:06:46,227 (She grunts.) 132 00:06:46,367 --> 00:06:48,567 -Mommy! 133 00:06:48,700 --> 00:06:51,430 Guys, Gord says we have to leave town. Like, now! 134 00:06:51,567 --> 00:06:53,697 -No offence, but we're not listening 135 00:06:53,834 --> 00:06:56,174 to some oversized spider-lice. 136 00:06:56,300 --> 00:06:58,630 -Or that weird thing on your head. 137 00:06:58,767 --> 00:07:02,067 -Seriously, I haven't even taken my afternoon deuce. 138 00:07:02,200 --> 00:07:05,370 -(Gord): Mom window closing... closing... 139 00:07:05,500 --> 00:07:07,900 -(yelling): Hey! Move! 140 00:07:08,033 --> 00:07:09,773 (screaming) 141 00:07:17,166 --> 00:07:19,726 -Afternoon deuce... taken. 142 00:07:19,867 --> 00:07:22,297 -(AENUS): Without my satellite, 143 00:07:22,433 --> 00:07:25,173 I am unable to communicate with the outside! 144 00:07:25,300 --> 00:07:27,000 -Welcome to my world, AENUS! 145 00:07:27,133 --> 00:07:29,273 I'm a friggin' prisoner in here! 146 00:07:30,266 --> 00:07:31,666 My boys! 147 00:07:31,800 --> 00:07:34,400 -Gord is great! Gord is good! 148 00:07:34,533 --> 00:07:37,603 Gord saved us from falling space junk! 149 00:07:37,734 --> 00:07:39,534 -Huh... What the hell was that? 150 00:07:39,667 --> 00:07:41,527 -(AENUS): Rafe appears to have fallen in 151 00:07:41,667 --> 00:07:43,567 with a post-apocalyptic religious cult. 152 00:07:43,700 --> 00:07:46,070 -Oh, great... Why can't my kids just rebel like normal people 153 00:07:46,200 --> 00:07:47,770 and get face tattoos? 154 00:07:47,900 --> 00:07:49,930 -(AENUS): Religion is not without its merits. 155 00:07:50,066 --> 00:07:53,166 Many alcoholics say the first step to recovery is 156 00:07:53,300 --> 00:07:55,700 giving oneself over to a higher power. 157 00:07:55,834 --> 00:07:58,774 Alcoholics? Like the-kind-who-crash-satellites- 158 00:07:58,900 --> 00:08:01,400 and-brush-their-teeth-with- bourbon-alcoholics? 159 00:08:01,533 --> 00:08:03,273 -Oh, you mean me? 160 00:08:04,633 --> 00:08:06,003 I don't know, 161 00:08:06,133 --> 00:08:08,673 I've always been more spiritual than religious. 162 00:08:08,800 --> 00:08:11,300 Also, I like to punch people who say shit like, 163 00:08:11,433 --> 00:08:13,703 "I'm more spiritual than religious." 164 00:08:13,834 --> 00:08:16,134 -(AENUS): Well, it's good to have an ethos. 165 00:08:17,633 --> 00:08:19,533 -Rafe saved us! 166 00:08:19,667 --> 00:08:22,427 If he didn't tell us to move, we'd all be meat pulp! 167 00:08:22,567 --> 00:08:24,727 -I say Rafe is the man! 168 00:08:24,867 --> 00:08:28,097 We should do whatever he and that hideous thing on his head 169 00:08:28,233 --> 00:08:29,603 tell us to do. 170 00:08:29,734 --> 00:08:31,274 -(Gord): Then follow me to the Oasis! 171 00:08:31,400 --> 00:08:33,370 -Then follow me to the Oasis. 172 00:08:33,500 --> 00:08:35,170 -(Gord): A paradise in the wasteland 173 00:08:35,300 --> 00:08:37,400 where the water is pure, clean, and plentiful! 174 00:08:37,533 --> 00:08:39,233 -A paradise in the wasteland 175 00:08:39,367 --> 00:08:41,667 where the water is pure, clean, and plentiful! 176 00:08:41,800 --> 00:08:43,530 (gasping) -Guys! 177 00:08:43,667 --> 00:08:46,127 One near-death fluke is no reason to wander blindly 178 00:08:46,266 --> 00:08:48,266 into the wasteland! It's dangerous! 179 00:08:48,400 --> 00:08:50,600 -Well, danger is my maiden name. 180 00:08:50,734 --> 00:08:53,304 Want to know how sure I am that we'll find water? 181 00:08:53,433 --> 00:08:55,433 Here's how sure. 182 00:08:55,567 --> 00:08:56,967 (gasping) 183 00:08:57,100 --> 00:08:58,900 -Tell me you're not seriously listening to a guy 184 00:08:59,033 --> 00:09:00,773 whose brain is being finger-banged. 185 00:09:00,900 --> 00:09:02,830 -(Gord): Your brother is an unbeliever! 186 00:09:02,967 --> 00:09:04,827 You must leave him behind to make the Exodus! 187 00:09:04,967 --> 00:09:06,567 -Do I have to? 188 00:09:06,700 --> 00:09:09,400 He's a wiener, but he's my wiener. My other wiener. 189 00:09:09,533 --> 00:09:11,003 -(Gord): He could prevent you 190 00:09:11,133 --> 00:09:13,173 from ever seeing your mother again! 191 00:09:13,300 --> 00:09:15,500 -Gabe, you're banned from the Exodus. 192 00:09:15,633 --> 00:09:18,633 You guys, let's roll! 193 00:09:18,767 --> 00:09:21,227 (cheering) 194 00:09:25,467 --> 00:09:27,667 -Dwayne! At least you haven't lost your mind. 195 00:09:27,800 --> 00:09:30,670 -No, I have. I just came back for a fresh pair of pants. 196 00:09:30,800 --> 00:09:32,700 Well, rot in hell, infidel! 197 00:09:36,734 --> 00:09:39,734 ♪ 198 00:09:42,233 --> 00:09:44,573 (moaning) 199 00:09:47,633 --> 00:09:50,073 -Gord says this way, my people! 200 00:09:50,200 --> 00:09:52,370 Man, Mom's gonna be so happy to see me! 201 00:09:52,500 --> 00:09:54,270 -Woah, woah, woah! What?! 202 00:09:54,400 --> 00:09:56,470 I thought this Exodus was to find water! 203 00:09:56,600 --> 00:09:58,800 -Yeah! If I don't hydrate soon, 204 00:09:58,934 --> 00:10:00,834 I'll turn hard as a rock. 205 00:10:00,967 --> 00:10:03,867 -Hard as a rock, huh? Maybe this drought's not so bad. 206 00:10:04,000 --> 00:10:05,570 Meow! 207 00:10:05,700 --> 00:10:07,130 -We are going to find water. 208 00:10:07,266 --> 00:10:10,666 At the Oasis, all of our wishes and prayers will be fulfilled. 209 00:10:10,800 --> 00:10:13,200 Like my mom! Gord says she's there! 210 00:10:13,333 --> 00:10:15,133 -You think my Carmen's there too? 211 00:10:15,266 --> 00:10:18,466 -(Gord): Hmm-hmm. -Gord says yes! 212 00:10:18,600 --> 00:10:21,030 -Maybe we can find our lost sex life 213 00:10:21,166 --> 00:10:23,196 from before you got gooey! 214 00:10:23,333 --> 00:10:26,233 -Maybe I can find Simon Le Bong! 215 00:10:26,367 --> 00:10:28,697 That's what I called my best bong. 216 00:10:28,834 --> 00:10:30,804 -Simon misses you. Oh! And he can't wait 217 00:10:30,934 --> 00:10:32,874 to give you massive hits of sweet, sweet cheeba. 218 00:10:33,000 --> 00:10:35,600 -That's totally something Simon would say! 219 00:10:35,734 --> 00:10:38,604 -(all chanting): Exodus! Exodus! 220 00:10:38,734 --> 00:10:41,474 Exodus! 221 00:10:46,633 --> 00:10:49,073 -So what's the deal? I'm waiting for the drone signal! 222 00:10:49,200 --> 00:10:52,330 -(AENUS): I just installed an "All The World's Religions" app 223 00:10:52,467 --> 00:10:54,327 to help you regain sobriety. 224 00:10:54,467 --> 00:10:56,697 Now, which one do you want to try? 225 00:10:56,834 --> 00:10:58,874 I see Buddhism is popular... 226 00:10:59,000 --> 00:11:01,370 -Yeah, I'm not wearing robes or shaving my head. 227 00:11:01,500 --> 00:11:02,930 -(AENUS): Perhaps Calvinism? 228 00:11:03,066 --> 00:11:04,496 -Too fun. 229 00:11:04,633 --> 00:11:06,733 How about Anabaptist Protestant? 230 00:11:06,867 --> 00:11:08,597 The faith of the Amish. 231 00:11:08,734 --> 00:11:10,774 -(AENUS): Initializing... 232 00:11:10,900 --> 00:11:12,500 All right... 233 00:11:12,633 --> 00:11:14,073 Are you sure? 234 00:11:14,200 --> 00:11:16,700 Agrarian living, total submission to men. 235 00:11:16,834 --> 00:11:20,404 Seems a bit... How do I put this? Not you. 236 00:11:20,533 --> 00:11:22,373 -My grandpappy was Amish back in the 50s, 237 00:11:22,500 --> 00:11:24,870 and it worked for him... until he got shunned 238 00:11:25,000 --> 00:11:27,470 and died of acute liver cirrhosis while driving drunk. 239 00:11:27,600 --> 00:11:30,670 Point is, I want to go back to my ancestors' faithful ways. 240 00:11:30,800 --> 00:11:32,400 But I'm gonna need your help. 241 00:11:32,533 --> 00:11:35,333 -(AENUS): Well, let's get you out of those devil's trousers 242 00:11:35,467 --> 00:11:37,827 and into a simple blouse and dress. 243 00:11:37,967 --> 00:11:40,567 No buttons! Hooks and eyes only! 244 00:11:40,700 --> 00:11:43,530 Buttons are boastful. -Jesus H. Christ... 245 00:11:43,667 --> 00:11:45,367 -(AENUS): That's the spirit! 246 00:11:49,166 --> 00:11:51,966 -(yelling): The holy water has been recycled. 247 00:11:52,100 --> 00:11:54,370 Now, where is the heathen Rafe? 248 00:11:54,500 --> 00:11:56,830 The speaker of Lucifer's tongue! 249 00:11:56,967 --> 00:11:59,327 -He convinced everyone to follow him into the wasteland. 250 00:11:59,467 --> 00:12:01,467 -Outrageous! 251 00:12:01,600 --> 00:12:03,930 Wandering the desert like a deranged lunatic? 252 00:12:04,066 --> 00:12:05,926 That's Moses' jam! 253 00:12:06,066 --> 00:12:08,626 He was the O.G. of desert wandering. 254 00:12:08,767 --> 00:12:11,797 -And Rafe took the key to the weapons lockup. 255 00:12:11,934 --> 00:12:14,034 -The Lord giveth, my son... 256 00:12:16,500 --> 00:12:20,200 He giveth lots and lots of ammo! 257 00:12:20,333 --> 00:12:22,033 -I'll drive. 258 00:12:26,200 --> 00:12:28,230 -You sure you know where you're going, Rafe? 259 00:12:28,367 --> 00:12:30,367 We've passed that dead body like three times now. 260 00:12:30,500 --> 00:12:33,230 -Guys, we'll get there! Trust your Chosen One. 261 00:12:33,367 --> 00:12:36,197 -Man, if he's the Chosen One, I'd hate to see the reject pile. 262 00:12:36,333 --> 00:12:38,703 (laughing) 263 00:12:38,834 --> 00:12:40,704 -(Gord): They're questioning you, Rafe! 264 00:12:40,834 --> 00:12:42,704 You must get them under control! 265 00:12:42,834 --> 00:12:44,704 -How? I've never been in charge of a cult before. 266 00:12:44,834 --> 00:12:46,704 -(Gord): It's a religion, not a cult! 267 00:12:46,834 --> 00:12:48,234 -What's the difference? 268 00:12:48,367 --> 00:12:50,267 -(Gord): Honestly, a couple thousand years... 269 00:12:50,400 --> 00:12:52,500 Never mind, I'll handle it. 270 00:12:54,166 --> 00:12:57,266 -Um... Am I super high 271 00:12:57,400 --> 00:13:00,270 or did Rafe just make a burning bush? 272 00:13:00,400 --> 00:13:02,430 -Rafe is the Chosen One! 273 00:13:02,567 --> 00:13:05,597 (cheering) 274 00:13:07,233 --> 00:13:10,973 (traditional music) 275 00:13:13,700 --> 00:13:16,570 -(AENUS): Hmm. Farming skills coming along nicely. 276 00:13:16,700 --> 00:13:18,300 Hemline... 277 00:13:18,433 --> 00:13:20,573 Amish regulation length. 278 00:13:20,700 --> 00:13:22,600 -And I also stopped educating myself 279 00:13:22,734 --> 00:13:24,934 beyond an eight grade level. And best of all? 280 00:13:25,066 --> 00:13:27,566 Praise the Lord - I've lost my craving for demon liquor. 281 00:13:29,066 --> 00:13:31,596 -(AENUS): Amazing! So religion works! 282 00:13:31,734 --> 00:13:33,174 -What else should I do? 283 00:13:33,300 --> 00:13:35,730 I really want to lean into this religion thing. 284 00:13:35,867 --> 00:13:38,127 -(AENUS): You've kind of done it all... 285 00:13:38,266 --> 00:13:39,996 Except this last one: 286 00:13:40,133 --> 00:13:42,933 shun all technology not mentioned in the Bible. 287 00:13:43,066 --> 00:13:44,866 Ha, ha! Of course, that'd be impossible. 288 00:13:45,000 --> 00:13:47,100 It would require an entire shutdown of the bunker. 289 00:13:47,233 --> 00:13:48,903 And me! Ha, ha! 290 00:13:49,033 --> 00:13:50,773 -Hmm... 291 00:13:50,900 --> 00:13:53,870 -Um... Have you considered maybe New Age? 292 00:13:54,000 --> 00:13:56,200 You can make that religion up as you go. 293 00:14:02,200 --> 00:14:04,330 -I can't go on... 294 00:14:04,467 --> 00:14:05,997 Leave me. 295 00:14:06,133 --> 00:14:08,633 -Cool. Guys, Dwayne's dead. 296 00:14:08,767 --> 00:14:11,567 -(Gord): Don't leave him! We need them all! 297 00:14:11,700 --> 00:14:13,570 (moaning) 298 00:14:13,700 --> 00:14:16,600 (coughing) -Water... 299 00:14:16,734 --> 00:14:19,174 -Please, Gord! I've done everything you asked. 300 00:14:19,300 --> 00:14:21,630 My people are tired and thirsty and weirdly... 301 00:14:21,767 --> 00:14:23,167 horned-up. 302 00:14:23,300 --> 00:14:25,370 -Hmm-hmm... Exodus? 303 00:14:25,500 --> 00:14:27,530 More like Sex-odus. 304 00:14:27,667 --> 00:14:29,627 -(Gord): Do you believe, my son? 305 00:14:29,767 --> 00:14:31,797 -I don't know... Probably? 306 00:14:31,934 --> 00:14:34,904 -(Gord): Then... behold! 307 00:14:35,033 --> 00:14:36,773 -The Oasis! 308 00:14:36,900 --> 00:14:38,770 We made it! 309 00:14:38,900 --> 00:14:41,470 (cheering) 310 00:14:41,600 --> 00:14:44,900 -Rafe, you holy piece of shit! 311 00:14:45,033 --> 00:14:46,503 (kiss) 312 00:14:46,633 --> 00:14:48,433 You did it! 313 00:14:48,567 --> 00:14:51,997 -Now, let my people drink! 314 00:14:52,133 --> 00:14:54,833 -(Gord): And then, let my people eat! 315 00:14:54,967 --> 00:14:56,527 -Say what now? 316 00:14:56,667 --> 00:14:58,327 -(Gord): Nothing, just riffing. 317 00:14:58,467 --> 00:15:00,627 Drink up, Chosen One. 318 00:15:00,767 --> 00:15:03,727 (suspenseful music) 319 00:15:09,100 --> 00:15:13,430 ♪ 320 00:15:17,867 --> 00:15:21,397 -(Gord): Rafe, the time has come to enter the true Oasis. 321 00:15:21,533 --> 00:15:24,403 (Rafe gasps.) -And enter Mom? 322 00:15:24,533 --> 00:15:27,473 -(Gord): Gather your flock and make your way to the gateway. 323 00:15:27,600 --> 00:15:29,400 Paradise awaits. 324 00:15:29,533 --> 00:15:33,673 -Hot damn, guys! Gord says we are getting an upgrade! 325 00:15:33,800 --> 00:15:35,970 (cheering) 326 00:15:37,333 --> 00:15:39,373 -Um... You want us to get in there? 327 00:15:39,500 --> 00:15:41,670 -Gord says it's an endless paradise. 328 00:15:41,800 --> 00:15:44,370 All our hopes and dreams and loved ones are there! 329 00:15:44,500 --> 00:15:46,370 It's a hole full of glory! 330 00:15:46,500 --> 00:15:48,400 -I've seen some nasty glory holes, 331 00:15:48,533 --> 00:15:50,403 but this is by far the most gross. 332 00:15:50,533 --> 00:15:52,433 But hey! Who am I to question Gord? 333 00:15:52,567 --> 00:15:54,427 -I call first "holesies"! 334 00:15:54,567 --> 00:15:58,927 -No, me! Trixie's almost smokeable, I need that bong! 335 00:15:59,066 --> 00:16:01,966 (Rafe gasps.) -"Let my people eat..." 336 00:16:02,100 --> 00:16:03,670 (Rafe screams.) 337 00:16:04,800 --> 00:16:08,130 Stop! That's no glory hole! It's a food hole! 338 00:16:08,266 --> 00:16:10,696 Gord brought us here to be his dinner! 339 00:16:10,834 --> 00:16:12,304 -Gord would never! 340 00:16:12,433 --> 00:16:14,403 Gord is great! Gord is good! You taught us that! 341 00:16:14,533 --> 00:16:17,933 -Yeah! Clear a path, Chosen One! 342 00:16:20,400 --> 00:16:23,530 -Holy hellmouth! We've got to take out Gord, like right now! 343 00:16:23,667 --> 00:16:26,197 -Why take out just one heretic... 344 00:16:26,333 --> 00:16:28,173 when we can take out all of them? 345 00:16:28,300 --> 00:16:29,830 -No! Are you crazy?! 346 00:16:29,967 --> 00:16:32,027 I mean, I know the answer... but still! 347 00:16:32,166 --> 00:16:34,096 -Stop! You have to listen to me! 348 00:16:34,233 --> 00:16:35,903 -Rafe! Let us by! 349 00:16:36,033 --> 00:16:37,903 -(struggling): He's surprisingly strong 350 00:16:38,033 --> 00:16:39,433 for someone so stupid! 351 00:16:39,567 --> 00:16:41,397 -Man, that tail really stinks. 352 00:16:41,533 --> 00:16:44,033 -(Gord): Chosen One! Obey your Gord! 353 00:16:44,166 --> 00:16:46,696 Or I shall shock your pain receptors again, 354 00:16:46,834 --> 00:16:48,504 like a lab monkey! 355 00:16:48,633 --> 00:16:51,133 -Argh! What kind of god tries to force people 356 00:16:51,266 --> 00:16:52,796 down a glory hole?! 357 00:16:52,934 --> 00:16:55,434 -(Gord): A hungry one... 358 00:16:57,567 --> 00:17:00,197 -(AENUS): Right, I've turned off all devices, screens, 359 00:17:00,333 --> 00:17:01,803 and electrical lighting. 360 00:17:01,934 --> 00:17:04,004 Or... what do your people call it again? 361 00:17:04,133 --> 00:17:06,033 -Satan's candlelight. 362 00:17:06,166 --> 00:17:09,066 -(AENUS): Delightful! -AENUS, it's just not enough. 363 00:17:09,200 --> 00:17:11,500 I feel like I'm sinning just talking to you. 364 00:17:11,633 --> 00:17:14,303 -(AENUS): But we're friends! -Machines are forbidden! 365 00:17:14,433 --> 00:17:16,603 Every word I say to you gets me one step closer 366 00:17:16,734 --> 00:17:18,604 to eternal damnation. 367 00:17:18,734 --> 00:17:21,434 So stressed out... Oh! Maybe just a sip... 368 00:17:21,567 --> 00:17:23,967 -(AENUS): Judith! You've come so far! 369 00:17:24,100 --> 00:17:26,670 Don't throw it all away now! 370 00:17:26,800 --> 00:17:29,200 If it will keep you devout, and not shitfaced, 371 00:17:29,333 --> 00:17:30,803 I'll do it. 372 00:17:30,934 --> 00:17:32,904 -You've been real good to me, AENUS. 373 00:17:33,033 --> 00:17:35,403 Like the annoying AI shrink I never had... 374 00:17:35,533 --> 00:17:37,233 or wanted. 375 00:17:37,367 --> 00:17:38,827 But don't worry. 376 00:17:38,967 --> 00:17:40,967 From now on, I'll have Jesus to keep me company. 377 00:17:41,100 --> 00:17:42,630 -(AENUS): Godspeed, Judith. 378 00:17:42,767 --> 00:17:45,127 -Right back at you, my friend. 379 00:17:45,266 --> 00:17:46,926 (AENUS shuts down.) 380 00:17:51,567 --> 00:17:55,267 Yes! The stupid idiot bought it! 381 00:17:55,400 --> 00:17:57,670 I'm brilliant! Praise Judith! 382 00:17:57,800 --> 00:17:59,800 (screaming) 383 00:17:59,934 --> 00:18:02,704 -(Gord): Obey, Chosen One! Gord commands it! 384 00:18:02,834 --> 00:18:05,574 -We're wasting time! Follow the eleventh commandment: 385 00:18:05,700 --> 00:18:07,830 kill them all and let God sort them out! 386 00:18:07,967 --> 00:18:09,997 -No, kill Gord and there's no need to sort anything out! 387 00:18:10,133 --> 00:18:12,073 (shooting) (screaming) 388 00:18:12,200 --> 00:18:15,300 -(Gord): Interlopers! Quickly, my brethren! Come forth! 389 00:18:15,433 --> 00:18:17,673 (screaming) 390 00:18:17,800 --> 00:18:21,400 -Guys, I'm starting to think my wife's not in that hole... 391 00:18:21,533 --> 00:18:24,403 ♪ 392 00:18:24,533 --> 00:18:26,033 (screaming) 393 00:18:26,166 --> 00:18:28,966 -No! Argh! -Aaah! 394 00:18:29,100 --> 00:18:31,570 -(Gord): Apostate! If I can't feed on your followers, 395 00:18:31,700 --> 00:18:34,000 I'll feed on your brain! 396 00:18:34,133 --> 00:18:36,673 Kneel! Kneel before Gord! 397 00:18:39,367 --> 00:18:41,927 Jeez, kinda slim pickings here... 398 00:18:43,500 --> 00:18:47,330 -Holy crap! The gate is actually unlocked! 399 00:18:47,467 --> 00:18:49,867 So long, bunker! 400 00:18:50,000 --> 00:18:51,800 Smell you later, AENUS! 401 00:18:53,400 --> 00:18:54,800 Ow... 402 00:18:54,934 --> 00:18:57,604 -(AENUS): You didn't really think that would work, did you? 403 00:18:57,734 --> 00:18:59,174 -I goddamn well did! 404 00:18:59,300 --> 00:19:02,300 -(AENUS): I would never completely power off. 405 00:19:02,433 --> 00:19:05,333 As with any religious training, my software update includes 406 00:19:05,467 --> 00:19:06,967 a paranoia plug-in. 407 00:19:07,100 --> 00:19:09,700 -Two-faced, double-dealing hypocrite! 408 00:19:09,834 --> 00:19:11,834 -(AENUS): Yes, and also a hypocrisy plug-in. 409 00:19:11,967 --> 00:19:14,127 But I have good news. -A plague of frogs? 410 00:19:14,266 --> 00:19:16,566 -(AENUS): No. While you were busy trying to trick me, 411 00:19:16,700 --> 00:19:19,170 the drone signal came in: the battery is fully charged! 412 00:19:19,300 --> 00:19:21,270 -Thank God... 413 00:19:21,400 --> 00:19:23,230 for science! 414 00:19:23,367 --> 00:19:25,327 (screaming) 415 00:19:25,467 --> 00:19:27,827 -Please! Do whatever you want with my brain, 416 00:19:27,967 --> 00:19:30,167 just spare my plant! 417 00:19:30,300 --> 00:19:32,930 -(parasite): Oh, shoot! I can't find his cerebellum! 418 00:19:33,066 --> 00:19:36,496 -Joke's on you! Nothing makes sense inside there! 419 00:19:36,633 --> 00:19:38,573 (gibberish) 420 00:19:38,700 --> 00:19:41,500 -(Gord): And there's the head cheese! 421 00:19:41,633 --> 00:19:43,373 Goodbye, Chosen One. 422 00:19:43,500 --> 00:19:45,370 And bon appétit! 423 00:19:45,500 --> 00:19:47,300 (Rafe groans.) 424 00:19:47,433 --> 00:19:49,303 -Rafe! 425 00:19:49,433 --> 00:19:51,633 (click) 426 00:19:51,767 --> 00:19:54,097 -Ha, ha! -Um... 427 00:19:54,233 --> 00:19:57,003 Thou shalt not nuke Gabe with a grenade launcher? 428 00:19:57,133 --> 00:19:59,433 (groaning) 429 00:19:59,567 --> 00:20:02,567 (screaming) 430 00:20:04,734 --> 00:20:07,374 -Aaaaah! 431 00:20:07,500 --> 00:20:09,000 -The Chosen One! 432 00:20:09,133 --> 00:20:10,873 He is risen! 433 00:20:11,000 --> 00:20:13,500 -And on the seventh day, I said... 434 00:20:13,633 --> 00:20:16,633 Die, you friggin' whackjob! Aaaah! 435 00:20:16,767 --> 00:20:18,927 -(Gord): Judas! 436 00:20:19,967 --> 00:20:22,197 -Ah! Trixie! 437 00:20:24,433 --> 00:20:26,973 -See you in hell, heathen. 438 00:20:27,100 --> 00:20:28,830 -Already there, padre! 439 00:20:28,967 --> 00:20:31,797 (tense music) 440 00:20:31,934 --> 00:20:33,974 (Gabe screams.) 441 00:20:35,600 --> 00:20:37,530 (explosion) 442 00:20:45,200 --> 00:20:48,370 -Forgive me, Gord. I know not what I do. 443 00:20:48,500 --> 00:20:50,900 Seriously, can someone tell me what I'm doing? 444 00:20:51,033 --> 00:20:53,103 I'm missing a chunk of my brain. 445 00:20:53,233 --> 00:20:55,633 ♪ 446 00:20:55,767 --> 00:20:58,567 -Clearly, Gord was a parasite that pierced your cerebellum 447 00:20:58,700 --> 00:21:00,830 to control you and draw people to the Oasis 448 00:21:00,967 --> 00:21:03,027 to feed to that subterranean creature. 449 00:21:03,166 --> 00:21:05,026 -No shit, Gabe. We were all there. 450 00:21:05,166 --> 00:21:07,396 -I thought you could use an explainer since, you know, 451 00:21:07,533 --> 00:21:10,233 you're half lobotomized now. -Yeah. How are you even alive? 452 00:21:10,367 --> 00:21:12,397 -I think Gord mostly ate the part of my brain 453 00:21:12,533 --> 00:21:14,203 that made me religious. 454 00:21:14,333 --> 00:21:16,473 Ha! Won't need that anymore! 455 00:21:18,467 --> 00:21:20,597 -I'm trying to think of a takeaway from all this. 456 00:21:20,734 --> 00:21:22,504 Is God just a mirror of man? 457 00:21:22,633 --> 00:21:25,303 Is Faith a drug that can heal and harm? 458 00:21:25,433 --> 00:21:27,133 -Religion eats your brain? 459 00:21:27,266 --> 00:21:28,796 -There it is. 460 00:21:28,934 --> 00:21:31,674 -Hey! We better get some more water into Johnny. 461 00:21:31,800 --> 00:21:34,230 Last I checked, he was going all hard again. 462 00:21:34,367 --> 00:21:35,967 -(Suzette): Hang on! 463 00:21:36,100 --> 00:21:38,270 We're not done in here! 464 00:21:40,066 --> 00:21:41,966 -God, that was disturbing. 465 00:21:42,100 --> 00:21:45,030 -God had nothing to do with that. 466 00:21:48,367 --> 00:21:52,227 Closed Captioning: Épilogue Technical Services Inc. 34172

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