All language subtitles for A.N.T.Farm.S03E11_English

Chyna, fantastic news!

As part of my
new mentor program,

I'm bringing one of the world's
greatest musical talents

to the school
to work with you.

Really? Who is it?
No, let me guess!

Okay. It's Madame Goo Goo!

Sorry, I'm very bad at
playing guessing games.

Madame Goo Goo? I love her!

I actually met her once
back at my old school,

and then I lost her number
at a fortune cookie factory,

-so what I did was...
-I'm sorry, Chyna.

But I'm also very bad at listening
to long-winded anecdotes.

Well, you must hate me.

So when is Madame Goo Goo
getting here?

I'm already here.

You're standing on me!

Oh, my gosh!

I cannot believe I just stood
on Madame Goo Goo!

I will never wash
my feet again!

Interesting factoid, eww.

(Theme music playing)

(Whoo!)

♪ Everybody's got that thing ♪

♪ Something different
we all bring ♪

♪ Don't you let 'em
clip your wings ♪

♪ You got it
You got it ♪

♪ We're on fire and we blaze ♪

♪ In extraordinary ways ♪

♪ 365 days ♪

♪ We got it
We got it ♪

♪ You can dream it ♪

♪ You can be it ♪

♪ If you can feel it ♪

♪ You can believe it ♪

♪ 'Cause I am, you are, we are ♪

♪ Exceptional
Exceptional ♪

♪ Yeah, I am, you are, we are ♪

♪ Exceptional
Exceptional ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh
Ooh, ooh ♪

(Whoo!)

Cool!

These dresses could only belong
to Madame Goo Goo!

Actually, this whole thing
is a dress.

I wanted something that
could go from day to night.

To another day to another night,

then to the beach, then to
the rodeo, then back again.

I'm so excited
to be working with you.

I don't know if you remember,
but we met...

I don't remember.

I'm bad with faces, names,
remembering things I just said

and faces and names.

And also faces. And names.

Okay, well, to start, I thought

I might sing you one of my songs
and get your feedback.

First, I need you look after
Mr. Whimpers for me.

Sure. Is Mr. Whimpers your dog?

No. He's my dress designer.

Did you let him get loose?

He likes to mark his territory.

(Gasps) Mr. Whimpers, no!

Okay, how about I play you
a little bit of my song now?

♪ I call you, I raise you
I see you, I play you ♪

♪ I'm a wild card ♪

♪ A wild card ♪

(Madame Goo Goo)
I love it!

You love my song?

No, I love the new dress
Mr. Whimpers made for me.

It's sure to stop traffic.

When did you change?

I haven't.

-(Dings)
-Now I have.

Anyway, back to your song.

I hate it.

But I know
what would make it better.

You think my song
will sound better

if I'm wearing
a sandpaper dress?

It can't hurt.

Actually, it can!

A lot!

Just sing it again.

(Scraping)

(Groans)

♪ I call you, I raise you
I see you, I play you ♪

♪ I'm a wild card ♪

♪ A wild card ♪

I don't know, Chyna.

It's very rough.

Of course it's rough,
I'm wearing sandpaper.

(Lexi) Mr. Grundy,

I heard Chyna is getting to work
with Madame Goo Goo.

It's not fair. I never get anything,

except attention, boys,
compliments, presents...

I had a feeling
you might complain,

so I got you a mentor as well.

Really? Is it Dustin Timberwolf?

Or Vicki Garaj?

Guess again.
Your mentor is Marcie McLaughlin!

Wow, I'm bad at guessing games.

Marcie McLaughlin?

I don't think I've
ever heard her music.

That's because she's a
world-renowned mathematician.

Oh, my gosh!

Professor Marcie McLaughlin is here!

You plus me equals...
(Shrieks)

I know everything about you!

You won the Fields Medal
in mathematics,

you have a dog named Pythagoras,

and you had a spinach frittata
for breakfast!

How do you know what I had
for breakfast?

Because it's stuck
in your teeth!

Please! Sign my abacus!
Sign my abacus!

Hey, back off.

She's my mentor!

You didn't even know
who she was.

Yeah, but now that
she wants her, I want her.

Never mind,
I don't want her.

Mr. Grundy, I need to talk to you
about Madame Goo Goo.

It doesn't seem like she's the slightest
bit interested in being my mentor.

Oh, that's because she's not

the slightest bit interested
in being your mentor.

The fact is, I may have stretched
the truth a wee smidge

when I said Goo Goo
was here to work with you.

-What part of the truth?
-All of it.

I lied. I blatantly lied.

I hired Madame Goo Goo
to debut her new song

at the charity event
I'm throwing tomorrow.

We're raising money to send
inner-city kids to summer camp.

4Well, that's wonderful,

but what does any of this
have to do with me?

She hasn't written the song yet.

I need you to keep an eye on her
and make sure she gets it done.

Mr. Grundy,
I'm not sure I can do this.

Madame Goo Goo
is totally unstable.

I checked her horoscope.

She was born
under the sign of...

Well, you're going to have to.

Not just for those poor,
disadvantaged kids,

but because I'm making this
an official school assignment.

It'll count towards 99%
of your final school grade.

What's the other 1%?

Attendance.

Chyna Parks?

Here.

I can't believe I have to babysit
a 35-year-old woman.

How am I going to get her
to do what I want?

Well, you could always do what my
Grandma Dottie does when she babysits me,

put me in a closet
until my parents get home.

Yeah, she's old school.

So what do you think
of my dress?

I'm making
a fashion statement.

And is that statement
"I swallowed a horse shoe"?

Ooh, that will bring you good luck.
Or kill you.

I don't mean to bother you,

but aren't you supposed
to be writing a song

for the charity benefit tomorrow?

What kind of a person
sits down and writes a song

just because somebody
paid them to?

A professional songwriter?

Listen, I know
you're a great musician

and I would be really interested
in seeing how you work.

Oh. I guess it couldn't hurt
to show you my "process."

My digestive process.

I meant your song-writing process.

Oh. Well, basically, I like

to just throw out ideas
and see what sticks.

Oh, I get it.

You throw alphabet soup
on a wall

and see if the letters spell out
interesting ideas.

That explains how you came up
with your hit song, Mxldzblekurrg.

No, I just hate this soup.

Mxldzblekurrg was the name
of my first boyfriend.

Or it may have been Bob.

As I mentioned,
I'm not good with names.

Listen, maybe it will be easier
to write your song

if we sit down at the piano.

The best songs aren't written
by sitting in some stuffy building.

The best songs are
written by living life!

We need to have an adventure!

Okay. We could go to the zoo.

Or we could break my brother
out of prison!

Maybe there's a third choice.

One that's legal and doesn't involve
a getaway car.

Okay, Lexi, let's start by discussing
the Brustrom Conjecture

concerning non-trivial
irregular prime numbers.

I've been working on it
for 11 years.

What you should be working on

is more interesting topics
of conversation.

I can't believe I'm this close
to Professor Marcie McLaughlin!

Anyway, Lexi, I thought
you might like to see my proof.

I'm only about five years away
from solving the conjecture.

It's simple.

The answer is 47x to the power of y
minus three over two pi epsilon.

You've solved it!

You are brilliant!

You have an amazing future
ahead of you in mathematics!

You take that back right now!

How can you not like math?

It's... It's the fundamental
building block

of everything known to and
valued by human civilization,

science, art, nature, beauty...

Beauty? Tell me more!

Professor McLaughlin is
referring to the fact

that beauty is a function
of proportion and symmetry,

which is why I believe the classic
fairy tale should've been called

Symmetry and the Beast.

So there's a way for me to prove

that I'm the most beautiful person
that's ever lived!

It won't just be my opinion

or the opinion of everyone
who's ever seen me!

It'll be a mathematical fact!

You know, when we got
in your private jet

to go to the Eighth
Wonder of the World,

I didn't think you meant a magic store
called "The Eighth Wonder of the World."

I thought you meant
the Pyramids.

Why would you think that?

By the way, does this dress
make my butt look big?

How is any of this going to
help you write a song?

I've always been inspired
by magic stores.

There's no better way
to make yourself feel more alive

than by looking at the people
who work at a magic store!

Hello. Can you help me?

I mean, can I help you?

Look at him!
I've never felt more alive!

Okay, I'll just take
your facial measurements

and plug the numbers into the formula.

Don't mind me.

(Clicking)

Just pretend I'm not here.

I tried. It's not working.

Anyway, I'll be able
to give you

a precise mathematical
measurement of your beauty.

But this chart only goes
from one to 10.

You're going to need one
that goes from one to Lexi.

Ooh, a piece of mathemabilia!

Actually, I can tell
just from looking at you

that you're probably going
to score about average.

What do you mean,
"average?"

Well, average is a measure
of the middle value of a data set.

So on a scale of one to 10,
you would be a five,

therefore, typical, middle of the road,
what is the word? Meh.

I know what average means!

There's no way I'm just a five!

Oh, Lexi, I apologize.
I was way off.

You are not average.

Thank you.

You are below average.

You register at a 3.6.

Below average?
I don't understand!

Well, below average is a measure

that falls under the
middle value of a data set.

So you'd be subpar, low-grade,

what's the word? Ah!

Nothing here is inspiring me.

Wow, that dress from
Mr. Whimper's spring collection?

If you guys aren't going to
buy anything, I'm going to

lay down in the back.

Hey! Check these out.

Maybe you could
write a song about a girl

who can't get over
her first crush.

You can call it,

You'll Never Walk Alone,

Because I'll Be Handcuffed
Right Beside You.

Ooh, I like that dress!

That's a Magical
Vanishing Cabinet.

I don't care.
I'm trying it on.

Well, maybe there's
a song in this,

about a scorned woman

whose boyfriend walks out
on her and vanishes,

never to be seen again.

I'm bored.

Madame Goo Goo, you really
need to write your song.

Madame Goo Goo?

Oh, no! Madame Goo Goo!

Excuse me,
have you seen a woman...

No.

I haven't seen a woman.
In nine years.

I don't know what to do.

I can't find Madame Goo Goo
anywhere.

Why don't you check
in the supply closet?

That's where you always go
when you're trying to avoid me.

Oh. You caught on to that?

Yeah, but don't worry,

you'll never walk alone

because I'll be handcuffed
right beside you.

Fletcher, I don't have time for this.

Madame Goo Goo hasn't written
a song for the benefit tomorrow!

She's obviously trying to avoid it,

and Mr. Grundy is
going to blame me!

(Elevator dings)

Ah, Chyna.

How is Madame Goo Goo's
song coming?

The kids from my charity
are very excited.

Oh, don't worry
about the song,

or why I'm handcuffed
to Fletcher.

Everything's totally under control.

Well, don't let me down because
you begged me for this opportunity.

What? I begged you
not to make me do it!

There was begging.
That's all I remember.

What am I going to do?

Don't worry, Chyna.
I'll take care of it.

You have Fletcher
Quimby's word

that people will get a Madame
Goo Goo performance tomorrow.

Thanks, Fletcher.

Hey, and while you're out
looking for her,

do you mind taking
Mr. Whimpers for a walk?

Who's a good designer?
Who's a good designer?

Madame Goo Goo!

I've been looking
all over for you!

What?

Oh, Winter. It's you.

Why do you have all those?

Mr. Grundy isn't the only one
who has a worthy cause.

I collect toys
from children,

and then throw them away.

I call it "Tears for Tots."

You know,
has anyone ever told you

that you look a lot
like Madame Goo Goo?

No.

You look a lot like
Madame Goo Goo.

So I've been told.
Just now. By you.

Can I ask you a favor?

It's nothing big.

I just need you to perform at
Mr. Grundy's charity event tomorrow,

singing a song I wrote
and pretending to be

one of the world's
biggest pop stars.

Please? I'm in huge bind
and I really need you to help me.

Well, that would certainly be
the nice thing to do, so no.

All right, let me
break it down for you.

Mr. Grundy made me keep track
of Madame Goo Goo,

and I lost her,
but you're in charge of me,

so technically you lost her.

And Mr. Grundy's going
to be a lot harder on you

because you're an adult
and I'm just a child who will say...

(Imitating child)
I towwy, Mr. Gwundy.

Don't bwame me. Bwame Wintew.

Fine. I'll do it.

But only because I respect
your attempt at blackmail.

Fwank you, Wintew!
You'we my vewy best fweind!

There's no way
I'm a 3.7!

Actually, you were a 3.6.

Shut it!

You know what else is ugly?
Your attitude.

How can this be?

Run those numbers again.
Fix this!

Well, actually, I can create
a computer simulation of you

that is mathematically perfect.

All I have to do
is adjust your eyes,

change your nose,

balance your cheekbones.
And... Perfection.

You've got to be kidding me!

I don't see why
she's so surprised.

All you did was prove
how attractive I am,

or what I like to call
the "Zazow Theorem."

Winter, you look amazing.

Now, before you go on,

do you need anything else
to feel like a pop star?

Cold pressed juice?

Filtered glacier water?

A void in your soul
that can never be filled

no matter how much praise
and applause you get?

No thanks. I already have
a void in my soul.

But some water
would be nice.

Wow, you changed
outfits already?

You're really getting the
Madame Goo Goo thing down!

I should hope so.

I've been Madame Goo Goo
since I was a baby.

I was named
after my first word, "madam."

Madame Goo Goo?
You're back!

Did Fletcher find you after
you disappeared on me

back at the magic store?

What are you talking about?
I was there the whole time.

This dress fits perfectly!

I'll take it.

I looked everywhere for you,
but you were nowhere to be found,

so I went on an adventure
and broke my brother out of prison.

Well, now that you're here, I've to tell
Winter that she doesn't have to go on.

What are you doing?

This is my concert!

No, this is my concert.

I need the praise and applause
to fill the void in my soul.

How dare you
steal my thunder?

I ought to...

Deck you.

Well, you won't talk so tough

when the chips are down.

(Audience applauding)

I'd like to bring out a star
who needs no introduction,

but whose 2,300-page contract
demands one.

Will one of you please
get on stage and perform?

Preferably the talented one.

(Both) That's me!

Put your hands together,
then apart,

then together again
rapidly for the one,

the only, Madame Goo Goo!

(Audience cheering
and applauding)

(Fletcher) (In squeaky voice)
♪ La la la la la la la ♪

What are you doing?

I gave you my word
that Madame Goo Goo

would perform tonight,

and perform she will!

(In squeaky voice)
♪ I call you, I raise you ♪

♪ I see you, I play you ♪

♪ I'm a wild card ♪

♪ I'm a wild card ♪

What a ridiculous outfit!

That girl has a boy costume
on her back!

♪ I'm a wild card ♪

♪ I'm a wild card ♪

Chyna, what was
all that about?

(Imitating child)
Mr. Gwundy, I can expwain.

It's not me you have
to expwain to.

It's these poor kids who won't be
going to summer camp now.

(Bleating)

I thought it was an organization
to send urban kids to summer camp.

Yes.

These baby goats, or "kids,"

were raised in cramped apartments

with no fresh air or access
to open fields 4to graze on.

Why are all these goats
living in apartments?

That's largely the work
of my previous charity,

which raised money
to give country kids

the opportunity to
grow up in the big city.

I think you're confusing
the word "charity" with "crazy."

I know they both start with C
and end in Y,

but they're really
very different principles.

(Bleating)

(High-pitched laugh)

I thought you were upset.

I was, but (chuckling)

kids say the darndest things.

-(Bleats)
-Hilarious!