Original subtitles

(upbeat music playing)

Hello, prodigies! I have something amazing to show you!

Ooh, is it a million-dollar coin?

Sorry. Don't have one on me.

I did, but I left it in the take-a-million-dollar-coin,

leave-a-million-dollar-coin tray at the yacht store.

Well, the next time you have one of those, just give it to me.

Because, as of five seconds ago, I am a coin collector.

Anyway, this is what I want to show you.

A top secret pre-release prototype

of the new zPhone 4!

(all gasping)

-And you're each getting one! -(all cheering)

I can use this with my friends and family plan!

And Fletcher, you can use it with your family plan.

Just keep these with you at all times.

It's loaded with new cutting edge features that our biggest competitor,

Hashimoto Mobile, would love to get their hands on.

Their CEO, Mr. Hashimoto, is a ruthless business man.

♪ Hashimoto! Hashimoto! ♪

This feature list is amazing!

3D calling, facial recognition...

An alibi app?

(automated voice) Olive was at my place watching a television program

when Fletcher was savagely attacked.

Ooh, excuses like that could come in handy!

Well, 3D calling sounds cool! Let's try it, Olive.

-(beeping tone) -Hello?

(gasps)

Whoa, check out tiny me. I'm adorable!

Anyway, once you've tried them out for a few days,

I'd love your feedback.

(scoffs) Here's my feedback...

♪ This is awesome! ♪

-(laughs) -(ringing)

Oh, hold on. I'm getting another call.

Hi, Fletcher. Fletcher?

Hello?

You're my tiny little Chyna doll.

Is there any way to disable this?

Sure.

-(shouts) -(groaning)

(thuds)

I meant disable the app, not Fletcher!

(automated voice) Olive was at my place watching a television program

when Fletcher was savagely attacked.

♪ Ooh, ooh, doo, doo ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh, doo, doo ♪

Whoo!

♪ Everybody's got that thing ♪

♪ Something different we all bring ♪

♪ Don't you let 'em clip your wings ♪

♪ You got it, you got it ♪

♪ We're on fire and we blaze ♪

♪ In extraordinary ways ♪

♪ 365 days ♪

♪ We got it, we got it ♪

♪ You can dream it ♪

♪ You can be it ♪

♪ If you can feel it ♪

♪ You can believe it ♪

♪ 'Cause I am, you are, we are ♪

♪ Exceptional, exceptional ♪

♪ Yeah, I am, you are, we are ♪

♪ Exceptional, exceptional ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh ♪

Whoo!

Aw, I miss you, too, Dixon.

(kissing)

You hang up!

(laughing) No, you hang up.

No, you hang up. No...

I'll hang up!

Thanks, Lexi.

I just got this new zPhone 4

and I really don't know how to hang it up.

I can't believe you have a boyfriend, and I don't!

It's like whole world has turned upside down!

Interesting factoid. The world has turned upside down,

thanks to geomagnetic reversal, wherein the positions

of magnetic north and magnetic south are interchanged,

happening most recently with the Brunhes-Matuyama reversal,

which occurred over 780,000 years ago.

I can't believe you have a boyfriend, and I don't!

Why am I even talking to you?

-Because you're single, lonely? -(screams)

Hey, Olive? Do you have plans tonight?

Well, I did. But I finished driving Lexi to the brink of madness,

so I'm free. (laughing)

Great. There's this sushi bar in town

that's having a karaoke contest tonight!

Raw fish plus raw talent? It's a win-win!

Actually, it's a lose-lose because I don't want to go-go.

Why not? This is our chance to go out and explore the city.

Where's your sense of adventure?

Where is the courageous woman that Dixon fell for?

He didn't fall for my sense of adventure, he fell for...

Zazow!

(sighs)

-We're not allowed to go out after curfew. -(door chimes)

Well, maybe our den mother will give us special permission.

Hey, Winter, can I talk to you?

(shouting) Can't you see I'm listening to music?

And that I don't like you?

Well, if you like music, here's a song...

♪ Me and my friends Want to go out tonight ♪

♪ But we need you to say it's all right ♪

♪ Please can we go to karaoke? ♪

♪ I know you want to say okey-dokey ♪

I'd love for you to go.

Into town, into traffic...

Into the light!

But unfortunately, I can't allow it

because my job is to protect you obnoxious little boogers!

She's more like the kind of den mother

you'd find in a cave surrounded by human bones.

Hi, Seth.

Don't worry, Seth. It's just a girl.

Put down the comic book. It's going to be okay.

Good.

Now, turns out you're the cutest boy in school

that Olive isn't inexplicably dating.

So, congratulations,

you're my boyfriend!

Really? My friends from space camp are never going to believe this!

Can I get a picture?

Whoa! (chuckles)

I don't do pictures on the first date.

I'm sorry. I've never been on a first date.

Don't worry! I'll teach you exactly what you need to do with a girl.

First, you compliment her shoes,

then you compliment her dress.

Then you compliment the way her shoes complement her dress.

But I don't like your dress.

What?

(stammering) Why not?

It's the same color as Garkonite,

the only substance in the universe that can weaken Garkon.

What's "Garkon"?

It's a comic book.

And a TV series based on the comic book,

and a movie based on the TV series, and a novel based on the movie,

a comic book based on the novel,

another TV series based on that comic book, and...

I'm sorry. I stopped listening after, "It's a comic book."

Why don't we talk about something we both love?

Ooh! Here's something.

Me.

What's the point of living away from home if we have even more rules?

I say we go to karaoke anyway.

All we have do is sneak past Winter.

No problem.

What are you doing?

That's how you sneak. I saw it in a nature documentary.

Was it a documentary about a roadrunner and a coyote?

You saw it, too?

Come on! There's got to be a simple way out of here.

There is.

All we need to do is place three full-length mirrors

at right angles to create a retro-reflective surface

so Winter thinks she's alone in the lounge.

Meanwhile, we tunnel underneath the floor using a hydraulic fracking drill,

then rappel 20 stories down into the garbage bins,

fleeing the grounds in our high-tech light-absorbing camouflage!

And where are we supposed to get all that stuff?

Easy. We'll just sneak past Winter and go to the hardware store.

-We'll need three full-length mirrors... -(Chyna) Guys...

I think we can just walk out.

(snoring)

(door dings)

(giggling)

Whoa! This place is so cool!

It's like a little piece of Japan right here in California!

(scoffs) Puh-lease.

Nothing about this place is authentically Japanese.

Starting with the fact that it's called Toky-OMG!

Wait. Where's Fletcher?

(snoring)

Interesting factoid, who cares?

Hey, look! The karaoke contest has started.

♪ I'm the love thief I'll steal your heart ♪

♪ You can lock it up But I'll pick it apart ♪

♪ Love thief, turn off your alarm ♪

♪ Love thief I'll turn on my charm ♪

(applauding)

That's Mr. Hashimoto, Mr. Grundy's nemesis!

I wish I had a nemesis.

Chyna, will you be my nemesis?

No.

You win this round, Chyna! But this is far from over!

What is Mr. Hashimoto doing here?

Winning the karaoke contest.

Again.

Well, I'd better take my picture, because it's going up there next.

(camera clicks)

So what should I sing?

They have songs by all the best and most real artists...

Trifecta, Blood Butcher, Madam Goo Goo...

How cute.

The little girl is going to sing a little song.

Good luck dethroning the Karaoke King!

Many have tried but all have failed.

You win this round, Chyna! But this is far from over!

What? You're his nemesis now?

I asked you first!

I can't believe I won!

Too bad Fletcher isn't here to see this.

Actually, he is.

Winter caught me while I was sneaking out.

Another 40 minutes and I would've been in the clear.

(Winter) Let's go, boogers.

Ooh, what's this?

A super-secret zPhone 4 prototype!

Looks like I am the winner after all!

(camera clicks)

(knock at door)

Shaloha, Earthling!

I was thinking for our date, we could go to the Garkon convention.

Garkon-Con.

Why would I want to go to a building full of nerds?

I already live in one of those!

But the guy who did the reboot of the movie

based on the TV series based on the novelization of the movie

based on TV series based on original comic book

is gonna be there, signing copies of the upcoming novelization of the reboot!

That's it! If you're going to be my boyfriend,

you need to detox from your ad-dork-tion.

I'm going to have to confiscate all your Garkon stuff.

What?

But I've been collecting that stuff since I was a youngling!

Look, do you want Garkon or do you want me?

And just so you know, six more dates

and I'll be ready to take a picture with you.

I'll go get my stuff.

Wow, you got a lot of stupid stuff!

It was weird moving all this out of my room.

Mostly because I discovered I have a roommate!

Of course, now I don't have room for my things,

so I had to move them into your room temporarily.

Did you have to leave that fuzzy pink unicorn in there?

That thing creeps me out.

That thing creeps you out?

Stay strong! I know you can do this.

I have faith in you. Now go!

I don't get it.

Look at this dumb comic book...

"Under the three moons of Zaxon, Princess Garkon..."

She's a princess?

"...needed new boots for each of her four feet.

So she headed to the trading outpost in the Forbidden Zone..."

(gasps)

And she shops?

Guys, I have a huge problem!

I've looked everywhere and I can't find my zPhone!

Okay. Relax. Maybe someone found it.

Uh, here.

Call it in 3D mode and you'll be able to see who picks up.

Good idea!

(beeping)

Hello?

Mr. Hashimoto? You have my phone?

(scoffs) No. This is not Mr. Hashimoto.

My name is... (clears throat)

(in lower voice) Steve Jones.

Oh, no. We've got to figure out a way to get the phone back!

Okay, but I don't know how we're going to find this guy's address.

There are, like, a thousand Steve Joneses.

That was Mr. Hashimoto!

He has all that new technology now. This could ruin Z-Tech!

Mr. Grundy is going to kill me!

And get away with it because he has an alibi app!

Wait.

I bet Mr. Hashimoto will be back at the sushi bar

trying to reclaim his karaoke crown.

We can go confront him.

We're grounded. And Winter's watching us like a hawk.

-(growling) -This is Princess Garkon.

The Zaxonites have breached our security force field!

I'm going to have to engage them in hand-to-hand to-hand-to-hand combat.

(screaming) Not Garkonite!

It's the one substance that makes me weak!

Luckily, I'm wearing my blaster boots!

"The end"?

But what happened to the Carpezian space baby?

They didn't tie that up at all!

I've got to get on the message boards!

Chyna!

I discovered this cool new feature on my zPhone.

Voice spoofing!

"It captures a caller's voice and allows you to sound exactly like them"?

-This is perfect! -I know!

We can call Fletcher as Fletcher and blow his tiny little mind!

Or we can use it to trick Winter and get her out of the way

so we can go back to the karaoke bar.

-(ringing) -Hello?

Hello, this is...

(as Hashimoto) Mr. Hashimoto.

What?

Miss Maddox, I hope I am not catching you

(as Hashimoto) at an inopportune time.

And my parents said that Wolfy went to live on a farm...

Not at all.

(sobbing)

Excellent. I have been impressed with

(as Hashimoto) your business skills.

And I would like to offer you a job

heading up my new technology division.

You mean, a job that doesn't involve working with little brats?

Brats?

(as Hashimoto) Interesting factoid.

According to pediatric behaviorologists,

children respond better

to positive messages!

-Anyway, the job starts tomorrow... -In Tokyo.

You think she bought it?

Sayonara, suckers! I'm off to Tokyo!

Hey, Lexi. Check it out.

-What happened to you? -I got hooked on style.

I started flipping through some of those fashion magazines

you left in my room, to learn what girls like.

So, do you want to go to the mall?

Today? We can't go today!

Today's Garkon-Con!

I'm pro Garkon-Con now.

You don't have to be con Garkon-Con.

Is this some kind of a test? Is this a con?

Is this a Garkon-Con con?

Because, I promise you, I'm over all that nerdy stuff.

Well, get back under it!

No, thanks. I'll be at the mall.

Hey, Lexi. Did I hear you talking about Garkon?

Shaloha, Earthling.

Oh, my gosh! Are you a Garkon fan, too?

If I weren't, would I have spent $10,000 on real blaster boots?

Well, the actress who plays Garkon is in town for Garkon-Con!

Do you think maybe you could use your money and your charm,

but mostly your money, to get her to come here?

I do have money and charm! But mostly money.

This is perfect!

Once Seth meets her, he'll totally nerd-out

and remember why he was a fan and then we can enjoy Garkon together.

That might work!

(man screaming)

Oops.

(automated voice) Zoltan was at my place watching a television program

when that janitor was disintegrated.

There's Mr. Hashimoto.

-We need a plan. -Okay.

We'll need three full-length mirrors to create a retro-reflective surface...

Is that your only plan?

Hey, when it works, it works.

(Hashimoto) You again!

(speaking Japanese)

What did you just call me?

Nothing. I was just ordering sushi.

Forget that! You have my zPhone and I need it back!

(laughing) You mean this phone?

(mock gasps) Oh, no! Too slow!

Fine.

Then I challenge you to a Super Karaoke Duet Showdown!

Winner gets the phone.

You know my honor will not allow me to say no.

Let's flip a coin to see who chooses the song.

Is that a million-dollar coin?

Yes. I took it from a plastic dish at the yacht store.

Heads!

(laughing)

There's no "heads" on a million-dollar coin.

Only diamond and butler.

Now, the song. I choose...

Tokyo Anime Look by J-Pop sensation Kumiko Iwasaki!

In Japanese!

(evil laugh)

(pop music playing)

(singing in Japanese)

(singing in Japanese)

(singing in Japanese)

(singing in Japanese)

(music continues)

♪ Check us out! Check us out! ♪

(singing in Japanese)

♪ Tokyo Anime look ♪

(applause and cheering)

Okay, time for the Applause-O-Meter.

Who liked little annoying girl's performance?

(applause)

(shushes)

And who liked my much better, less pitchy performance?

Olive!

The nemesis of my nemesis is my friend!

Plus, he shared his sushi platter with me.

Well, I still won! You have to give me the phone.

(laughing) Forget it!

We have an old saying in Japan.

"Finders keepers, losers weepers."

That's what we say!

We said it first! You stole it!

Just like you stole my karaoke crown!

You steal everything!

Well, it looks like you dropped the phone

when you were shaking your "fanki butsu."

Oh, no! Too slow! (laughs)

Yes! You got the phone!

Now I won't get in trouble!

Actually, you will.

Why am I in trouble? I didn't even know they were here!

By the way, you could've invited me.

Yeah, we know.

Thanks to you, I just spent the past 24 hours flying to Japan!

In coach!

Between a crying baby and a sumo wrestler!

And neither was wearing a clean diaper!

And it's all your...

Where'd they go?

Okay, don't open your eyes until I say...

(screaming)

You're the real Garkon!

You're really here! You're Garkon, Princess of the Galaxy!

Actually, my name is Amelia and I'm from Sherman Oaks.

Shaloha, Earthling!

Garkon is talking to us!

Ooh! Can you say your line from Season 3, Episode 9

where you're defending the universe against the Zaxonites?

Uh, yeah. You mean...

(all) "Step off, space sleaze, before I go supernova on you!"

Yeah!

Isn't this awesome?

No. Hearing it now, I don't know why I was ever into Garkon.

Tell me about it. I auditioned for some lame TV show

I thought would never see the light of day

and now I can't go anywhere without pathetic losers fawning all over me.

Garkon is talking about us!

I was thinking of going to the mall. Do you want to come?

Totes! Anything to get away from Space Nerd and Astro Dork.

Garkon gave us nicknames!

What just happened?

Garkon stole your boyfriend!

You win this round, Garkon! But this is far from over!

Great! Now, everyone has a nemesis except me!

(theme music playing)