Original subtitles

(theme music playing)

I can't believe the heating and cooling system is broken again.

The air-conditioning is so cold my buns are freezing.

Two hours of baking for nothing.

It's ridiculous.

Every part of the school has a different climate.

The cafeteria's humid, the gym is windy.

I know. Yesterday in biology, it was so foggy I dissected my own hand.

Oh! See? It's boiling in here.

Hey, guys! I'd invite you in, but there's no lifeguard on duty.

Fletcher, you left the door open!

So what?

So? When a cold front and a warm front meet, it creates...

(thunder rumbling)

It creates what? Don't leave me hanging.

♪ Ooh, ooh, doo, doo ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh, doo, doo ♪

Whoo!

♪ Everybody's got that thing ♪

♪ Something different we all bring ♪

♪ Don't you let 'em clip your wings ♪

♪ You got it, you got it ♪

♪ We're on fire and we blaze ♪

♪ In extraordinary ways ♪

♪ 365 days ♪

♪ We got it, we got it ♪

♪ You can dream it ♪

♪ You can be it ♪

♪ If you can feel it ♪

♪ You can believe it ♪

♪ 'Cause I am, you are, we are ♪

♪ Exceptional, exceptional ♪

♪ Yeah, I am, you are, we are ♪

♪ Exceptional, exceptional ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh ♪

Whoo!

Whoa! The hallway's covered in snow!

We should make a snow angel!

Huh?

But then a snowman would have to die.

Come on, we have to ask Principal Skidmore to do something about this.

Are you crazy? She'll bite our heads off.

No, she won't. She's a reasonable person.

Let's go, you lazy wolf! Put your back into it!

See? This is the best mood I've seen her in in weeks.

Good, then you go talk to her.

Whoa! Hey, no shoving! The floors are icy!

(sighs) Excuse me, Principal Skidmore?

What?

I was just wondering if you could maybe, possibly

please do something about the heating and cooling system?

Sorry, we don't have the money in the budget.

One of you crybabies complained about not having doors

on the bathroom stalls.

Well, then you need to cut something else from the budget.

Back me up here, Wacky.

(ice cracking)

Wacky?

Fine, I'll see what I can do.

(crying)

It's okay.

Hey, Lexi, what's the matter?

I won a beauty pageant.

(continues crying)

Are those tears of joy?

No, they're tears of Lexi.

Joy wasn't in the pageant.

Oh, no! My eyes are getting puffy!

Paisley, go get me some cucumber!

If you won, why are you upset?

(sighs) The problem is how I won...

Tell you about someone I recently helped.

Does myself count?

No.

(chuckles)

Well, I do volunteer work with an old person.

Really old. Even older than you.

Because nothing is more satisfying than bringing joy

to someone's wrinkled, little, apple-doll face.

(gasps)

I love old people and I love America!

(audience cheering)

My answer won me the crown,

but now the pageant judge Mrs. Busby wants to do a profile on me

and the old person I take care of.

-So... -So I don't take care of an old person!

I don't like old people!

Look, Lexi, the best way to handle a lie

is to just heap another lie on top of it.

It's like covering bad meat with gravy.

See? No telling what this is.

So, I just need an old person to back up my story.

Well, that's not a bad idea.

I've got the cucumber for your eyes.

Ow!

Huh.

It finally stopped raining here in the Ant Farm.

Whoa, double rainbow!

So intense!

What does it mean?

It means Principal Skidmore finally fixed the heating and cooling system.

(chuckles) No need to thank me.

I wonder what she cut from the budget.

Skidmore fired me!

-What? -What?

Like I said, there's no need to thank me.

What happened?

Skidmore said she needed to cut unnecessary fat out of the budget.

It was either me or that weird crossing guard

who always yells, "Car! Run for your lives!"

Look, don't worry, Gibson.

I have no idea who's responsible for this. No idea at all.

But we'll fix it anyway.

That's incredible!

Don't cry. It's the least we could do after everything you've done for us.

It's not that.

This double rainbow is so intense!

What does it mean?

(Fletcher) Way to go, Chyna.

Gibson was the only one in the school who cared about us Ants.

Believe me, I feel terrible.

I mean, imagine what this place would be like without Gibson.

(all gasp)

Wow, I do not want to live in a world like that.

If the school can't afford to pay for Gibson's salary,

we'll have to raise the money ourselves.

Yeah. Okay, we just need something simple.

You know, your basic, dependable fund-raiser that always works.

Come on. Someone toss something out there.

No idea's a bad idea.

-How about a bake sale? -Come on, Fletcher!

A bake sale! What is wrong with you?

(sighs) Well, how about a webathon?

That's a great idea!

With your music, his art and my criminally high cheekbones,

we'll raise the money in no time.

Yeah, we can do it in the cafeteria.

Cafeteria? Seriously, Fletcher! Think!

So, have you found an old person to back up your story yet?

Yup, a really old person. (chuckles)

There she is.

Hi, Miss Skidmore. How are you doing today?

Not good.

Sorry I asked.

Here's a blanket.

What is this for?

Well, I don't want you to get a chill. (chuckles)

Now do you need me to go to the store and get you some cat food and a shower chair?

Lexi, what are you doing?

Taking care of an old person.

I want to make your last two or three years as comfortable as possible.

I am not old! Get away from me!

But if you're going to the store, I do need some cat food.

Oh! And a shower chair.

Great. What am I going to do now?

If I find you an old person to take care of,

will you do something for me?

Like what?

I want the phone numbers of all the losing contestants from your pageant.

Not quite pretty enough with low self-esteem?

My kind of girl.

Welcome to the Save Gibson webathon!

With special guest stars Olive Doyle, Fletcher Quimby,

Wacky the Wolf,

and me, your host, Chyna Parks.

Behind us, we have an array of strange, cell phone-like objects.

They are called "landlines".

Simply call the number on your screen

and donate money to help this poor, loveable man-boy.

Any pledge helps. We'll even take food.

Because somebody forgot to bring snacks.

That was you. Why are you calling yourself "somebody"?

I don't like to point fingers.

To kick off this web-a-thon,

I'm going to play Gibson's favorite song, "Old MacDonald",

on his favorite instrument, the water glasses.

(playing Old Macdonald Had a Farm)

Great. You guys just drank "E-I-E-I-O".

And now, acclaimed mentalist, Olive Doyle,

will regale us with some Gibson quotes she remembers.

Which is everything I've ever heard him say since the day we met.

Olive, I don't know if you want to do every...

"Welcome to the Ant Farm.

I'm Gibson. What's your name?

Olive! Aah! Stay away! I'm allergic to olives."

Hey there, dollface.

Nice gams.

Ew! Get away from me, you creep!

(sighs) Lexi, it's me, Cameron!

I know!

Don't you get it? I'm going to be your old person.

Oh. Not bad!

You think anyone will buy it?

(gasps) Lexi, you found an old person!

Paisley, it's me, Cameron.

(gasps) Amazing!

It's you as an old person. And you've traveled here from the future.

Paisley, that's...

Absolutely true.

I came to warn you. In the future,

Earth will be invaded and mankind enslaved by an alien race of...

Sour nummy bears!

Are they upset because we've been eating their children?

Yes.

The only way to save mankind is for you to go to prom with me.

Oh, well. The humans had a good run.

"Olive, whose llama is this?

Oh, yeah, it's mine.

Ow. Bad llama!"

Does this llama bite look infected?

Anyway, I'm just here to pack up my things.

Hey! What are you guys doing?

Well, we're trying to raise money with a webathon.

That is so sweet. A webathon!

How many spiders have you found homes for?

No, we're trying to save your job.

But the only person who called was Fletcher's mom.

Hey, you've got to turn that frown upside down.

Like so.

See? Now it's a smile! (screams)

(grunting)

I wish there were an easier way to turn your frown upside down.

(telephone ringing)

Hello?

(woman) Whatever that poor man has, I want to give money to find a cure.

What?

Oh... Yes, it is tragic.

But, together, we can conquer...

Gibson fever!

Won't you please call in and help?

(telephone ringing)

(telephones all ringing)

So, Mrs. Busby, this is where I spend most of my afternoons and weekends,

taking care of dear, old Mr. Parks.

Well, you know what I always say.

The true beauty queen

is as beautiful on the inside

as she is on the outside.

That's why I had a spleen job.

Mr. Parks, I'm here!

Hello, Lexi, my little angel.

And who's this lovely, young whippersnapper you've brought with you?

Oh, you.

-This is Mrs. Busby. -Mmm.

Nice to meet you, Mr. Parks.

Have you always lived in San Francisco?

Oh, yes, indeedy.

I lived here before they finished building the Golden Gate Bridge in 1937.

(chuckles)

I can still hear the sounds of all 1.2 million rivets being put in.

Wow, you can remember that?

Like I read it in a book this afternoon!

(laughs)

Back then I had to swim across the bay

just to buy my penny candy.

Really? I thought they had a ferry to take people across.

Oh! That's just a myth.

How could a fairy, a tiny wing-ed creature,

carry a man across the bay?

Good point!

Ooh, well, now, who is this young man?

Uh... That's my grandson, Cameron.

Oh, really?

Well, I thought Lexi said that she helped you

because you didn't have any family.

Cameron doesn't help because he lives...

In his own world!

Don't expect any of my inheritance,

you good-for-nothing rapscallion!

Oh, so, he's here?

Well, maybe I can set him straight.

I'm very good with teens.

I have three of my own.

This would be the time when you say,

"Why you're way too young to have teenagers!"

(chuckles)

-Say it! -(exclaims)

Uh...

But you're way too young to have teenagers.

Oh, thank you, Mr. Parks.

Okay, well, go get what's-his-name.

Cameron.

You heard her, Mr. Parks.

Why don't you go get your grandson?

-But... -Get him!

-Right. -Right.

Oh!

See how I'm helping?

I got it.

A lot of people don't know about Gibson Fever,

so to shed some light on this tragic affliction,

we have invited world renowned expert Dr. Ima Fraud.

(in foreign accent) It's pronounced "Ima Fraud".

If you take a look at this X-ray,

you will find that this is in fact not hair,

but the brain being rejected by the body!

So sad!

So, won't you please open up your hearts

and pocket books to help this poor, misshapen monster?

Why aren't more people calling?

We're never going to save Gibson's job at this rate.

Maybe they aren't worried about Gibson Fever.

Because it's a fake disease?

No, because it only affects one person.

Unless it's contagious.

Chyna, this idea is crazy.

Hey! What do you want from me?

I'm suffering from Gibson Fever.

Licorice?

I don't know if anybody's going to believe this,

but maybe they'll find it funny and donate anyway.

(giggles)

'Cause, I mean, you guys look ridiculous.

Mr. Parks, have you found Cameron yet?

(Cameron) I'm working on it.

Now, Cameron, you get down there

and talk to that beautiful young lady.

(both) Aw, thank you.

(sighs) You wanted to see me?

-You have a little something... -(groans)

Something wrong?

I'm just upset about how things are between me and Grandpa.

Oh, well, In that case,

I think we should get your grandpa down here

so that you can work things out face to face.

Uh... I guess I'll go see if I can find him.

I think I just did.

Young man, you are, as my teenage boys would say,

a butt-head.

Oh, hi, Grandpa!

(nervous chuckle) I can explain.

No need. I know exactly what's going on here.

You lied!

So, I'm going to strip you of your crown.

Oh, Mommy missed you so much!

(moaning)

Ooh!

(sighs)

(humming)

(whimpers)

And for a pledge of $80,

you will receive this CD of Gibson's Greatest hits.

It includes such classics as

"Welcome to the Ant Farm!"

And "Does This Llama Bite Look Infected?"

I'm back. I left some important bills in my desk.

This one's from a northern pintail duck.

Hey, why does everyone look so handsome?

Guys, we have a caller who wants to make a huge donation!

Ooh!

You're on the air.

(woman) I think I've come down with a case of Gibson Fever.

You have?

Gibson Fever?

Yes. I'm sure of it.

Suddenly, I have a striped shirt, curly hair,

and the inability to understand that I have been fired.

I think I might have that!

(clearing throat)

So, how much are you donating?

Nothing. This webathon is a complete sham.

You can't tell people the money's for one thing

and then use it for something else.

Didn't you use PTA money for an eye lift?

I had crow's feet!

You collect crow's feet, too?

This one's from an eastern hooded crow.

Kids, return the money. Gibson, gather your things and go.

Wow.

I can't imagine not being here at the Ant Farm.

See? I can't imagine it.

Well, thanks for trying, guys.

I'll miss you.

Wait.

If that Gibson's leaving,

then this Gibson's leaving, too.

What?

If he's fired, then I'm quitting the A.N.T. Program.

So is this Gibson.

So is this Gibson.

Oh. So is that Gibson.

Okay, okay. I'll find the money somehow.

Gibson, you can stay.

(all cheering)

You guys are the best!

Hey, let's all jump and freeze in the air like they do in the movies.

What?

(phones ringing)

No, no, no. Please don't call.

There's really nothing we can do to help him.

Wow! He actually did it.

(theme music playing)