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1
00:00:04,178 --> 00:00:06,088
- All righty.
I got all our snacks.
2
00:00:06,136 --> 00:00:09,306
Hot wings, hot Cheetos,
hot pretzels,
3
00:00:09,357 --> 00:00:14,407
and the latest edition,
hot beers.
4
00:00:14,449 --> 00:00:17,019
Mm.
Ugh.
5
00:00:17,060 --> 00:00:19,320
That's the last time
I listen to Guy Fieri.
6
00:00:19,367 --> 00:00:20,367
[doorbell rings]
7
00:00:20,411 --> 00:00:22,111
Oh God, I've summoned him.
8
00:00:22,152 --> 00:00:23,592
- That's our Postrabbit.
9
00:00:23,632 --> 00:00:27,642
I hired someone to pick up
our Game Station X.
10
00:00:27,679 --> 00:00:29,249
- Freddie Benson?
- Yeah.
11
00:00:29,290 --> 00:00:31,340
- Postrabbit here. I have your
box from Blessed Buy.
12
00:00:31,379 --> 00:00:32,899
- Thanks so much.
13
00:00:32,945 --> 00:00:34,765
- I just got
a Game Station, too.
14
00:00:34,817 --> 00:00:36,167
- Cool.
15
00:00:36,210 --> 00:00:39,390
- Hey, is this your phone
number on the order?
16
00:00:39,430 --> 00:00:42,000
- It is, why?
17
00:00:42,042 --> 00:00:45,092
- Oh, I just thought I could
maybe use it sometime for---
18
00:00:45,132 --> 00:00:48,352
- For what?
Identity theft?
19
00:00:48,396 --> 00:00:52,266
Please delete it.
And I'm giving you no stars.
20
00:00:52,313 --> 00:00:53,663
- Dude, what the hell?
21
00:00:53,705 --> 00:00:55,655
That cute Postrabbit
was totally in to you.
22
00:00:55,707 --> 00:00:57,877
- [scoffs]
She just wanted a good tip.
23
00:00:57,927 --> 00:00:59,147
- Here's a good tip.
24
00:00:59,189 --> 00:01:02,369
You're going to die alone.
She wanted your number.
25
00:01:02,410 --> 00:01:04,410
- So did that Nigerian prince.
26
00:01:04,455 --> 00:01:08,065
- Oh, was he free Friday
for drinks?
27
00:01:08,111 --> 00:01:09,721
- We got to get you
dating again.
28
00:01:09,765 --> 00:01:11,065
- [groans]
29
00:01:11,114 --> 00:01:14,994
- Who do I know
who loves a short king?
30
00:01:15,031 --> 00:01:16,291
My friend Ramona.
31
00:01:16,337 --> 00:01:17,987
She's beautiful.
- Looks fade.
32
00:01:18,034 --> 00:01:19,604
- She's spontaneous.
- I'm a planner.
33
00:01:19,644 --> 00:01:21,124
- She's a nuclear physicist.
34
00:01:21,168 --> 00:01:24,078
- Call her now!
35
00:01:24,475 --> 00:01:26,695
- ♪ I know you see ♪
36
00:01:26,738 --> 00:01:28,998
♪ Somehow the world
will change for me ♪
37
00:01:29,045 --> 00:01:32,695
[together]
♪ And be so wonderful
38
00:01:32,744 --> 00:01:36,664
♪ So wake up the members
of my nation ♪
39
00:01:36,705 --> 00:01:38,395
[together]
♪ It's your time to be
40
00:01:38,446 --> 00:01:41,406
- ♪ There's no chance
unless you take one ♪
41
00:01:41,449 --> 00:01:44,319
♪ And the time to see
the brighter side ♪
42
00:01:44,365 --> 00:01:47,315
♪ Of every situation
43
00:01:47,368 --> 00:01:49,018
♪ Some things
are meant to be ♪
44
00:01:49,065 --> 00:01:52,495
♪ So give me your best
and leave the rest to me ♪
45
00:01:54,026 --> 00:01:55,766
[upbeat music]
46
00:01:55,811 --> 00:01:57,641
- I know you have
a work emergency
47
00:01:57,682 --> 00:01:59,292
but can't I just stay home?
48
00:01:59,336 --> 00:02:01,246
- You sure can,
but Grandma B is harvesting
49
00:02:01,295 --> 00:02:03,685
our garlic kombucha so--
50
00:02:03,732 --> 00:02:05,782
- Yeah, that 'bucha stink.
- Mm-hmm.
51
00:02:05,821 --> 00:02:08,521
- I guess hanging with Carly
is slightly better.
52
00:02:08,563 --> 00:02:10,043
- You'll have fun.
53
00:02:10,086 --> 00:02:11,776
I like you hanging there
when your mom's out of town.
54
00:02:11,827 --> 00:02:14,257
Carly and Harper are strong,
intelligent women.
55
00:02:14,308 --> 00:02:18,268
They're good role models.
I love you. [smooches]
56
00:02:18,312 --> 00:02:20,402
- Same.
57
00:02:20,444 --> 00:02:22,584
- Defense, defense!
58
00:02:22,620 --> 00:02:24,270
Okay, well,
that's got to be illegal.
59
00:02:24,318 --> 00:02:26,018
both: Travel!
60
00:02:26,058 --> 00:02:29,368
- Are you two watching sports?
- God, no.
61
00:02:29,410 --> 00:02:32,850
It's our favorite reality show,
"The Real Widows of Wisconsin."
62
00:02:32,891 --> 00:02:35,331
- It's kind of like sports
except these ladies
63
00:02:35,372 --> 00:02:37,072
throw shade, flip tables,
64
00:02:37,113 --> 00:02:39,943
and normally
don't shower together.
65
00:02:39,985 --> 00:02:42,675
- Yeah, great role models.
66
00:02:42,727 --> 00:02:44,077
- And right now,
they're fighting
67
00:02:44,120 --> 00:02:45,380
about the big trip
of the season.
68
00:02:45,426 --> 00:02:49,076
Cincinnati.
- Ooh.
69
00:02:49,125 --> 00:02:52,425
- Countess Debra was 52 miles
from diamond status
70
00:02:52,476 --> 00:02:56,386
and couldn't use the lounge.
71
00:02:56,437 --> 00:02:58,177
both: Commercial break.
72
00:02:58,221 --> 00:03:00,221
- Would Freddie even let you
watch a show like this?
73
00:03:00,267 --> 00:03:01,957
- He doesn't need to
tell me not to.
74
00:03:02,007 --> 00:03:04,307
I don't play in the gutter.
75
00:03:04,358 --> 00:03:07,318
- Oh hush, this show is how
Carly and I met.
76
00:03:07,361 --> 00:03:08,841
I was working at Skybucks
77
00:03:08,884 --> 00:03:10,894
giving my blazing hot
RWoww takes.
78
00:03:10,929 --> 00:03:13,449
- Which I agreed with
1,000% so--
79
00:03:13,497 --> 00:03:14,927
- When I went on my break,
80
00:03:14,977 --> 00:03:16,627
we talked about the show
the entire time and that--
81
00:03:16,674 --> 00:03:19,374
- Was the foundation
of a lifelong friendship.
82
00:03:19,416 --> 00:03:21,976
Harper was there for me during
the hardest time in my life.
83
00:03:22,027 --> 00:03:24,547
- When Beau dumped you in front
of millions of subscribers?
84
00:03:24,595 --> 00:03:26,245
- No.
85
00:03:26,293 --> 00:03:29,343
When I cut my own bangs.
86
00:03:29,383 --> 00:03:31,393
- And when I needed a place
to live
87
00:03:31,428 --> 00:03:32,998
Carly said I should move in
here.
88
00:03:33,038 --> 00:03:36,828
- And I'm so glad she did
because now she's my BFSS,
89
00:03:36,868 --> 00:03:38,308
Best Friend Since Sam.
90
00:03:38,348 --> 00:03:41,178
- And she's my BFUMCER.
91
00:03:41,221 --> 00:03:45,361
Best Friend Unless My Cousin
Ever Resurfaces.
92
00:03:45,399 --> 00:03:46,699
- At least you don't call
yourselves something dumb
93
00:03:46,748 --> 00:03:48,398
like Carper.
94
00:03:48,445 --> 00:03:50,485
- Oh, my God that's even better
than Carhar.
95
00:03:50,534 --> 00:03:52,324
- We should get new mugs.
96
00:03:52,362 --> 00:03:54,452
[upbeat music]
97
00:03:54,495 --> 00:03:55,925
- You know cheeses of the world
98
00:03:55,974 --> 00:03:58,414
was the theme
of my bat mitzvah.
99
00:03:58,455 --> 00:04:00,805
- You're Jewish?
- No, I just wanted one.
100
00:04:00,849 --> 00:04:04,199
[notification chime]
- Oh, no.
101
00:04:04,244 --> 00:04:06,334
- What? I learned Hebrew
and everything.
102
00:04:06,376 --> 00:04:07,856
- Not that.
103
00:04:07,899 --> 00:04:10,339
I just got an invite
to Seattle Fashion Fest.
104
00:04:10,380 --> 00:04:11,560
- Oh.
105
00:04:11,599 --> 00:04:13,209
- And it's addressed
to me and Bo.
106
00:04:13,253 --> 00:04:14,953
- Oh.
107
00:04:14,993 --> 00:04:16,563
- And you know he's going
to be there.
108
00:04:16,604 --> 00:04:18,484
- Bo attends every
opening imaginable.
109
00:04:18,519 --> 00:04:22,039
He'd attend a cesarean
if they had to step-and-repeat.
110
00:04:22,087 --> 00:04:26,917
- You're joking, but he had one
at his mom's funeral.
111
00:04:28,398 --> 00:04:29,878
Which still seems better
112
00:04:29,921 --> 00:04:32,971
than running into my ex
and his new girlfriend.
113
00:04:33,011 --> 00:04:35,361
- Yeah, but you know
what's better than that?
114
00:04:35,405 --> 00:04:38,535
Crushing it in front of your ex
and his new girlfriend.
115
00:04:38,582 --> 00:04:41,462
Also burritos.
116
00:04:41,498 --> 00:04:42,628
- Picture it.
117
00:04:42,673 --> 00:04:45,683
You, gorgeous gown,
hot blow out,
118
00:04:45,720 --> 00:04:46,900
a tiny little clutch
119
00:04:46,938 --> 00:04:49,508
that couldn't possibly hold
anything.
120
00:04:49,550 --> 00:04:50,940
- Cute earrings.
121
00:04:50,986 --> 00:04:53,946
Although will you be able
to see them with a blowout?
122
00:04:53,989 --> 00:04:55,689
- Good point. You should do
a statement necklace.
123
00:04:55,730 --> 00:04:59,520
- Yes. Wait, this is fun.
124
00:04:59,560 --> 00:05:02,080
Okay, let's do it.
125
00:05:02,127 --> 00:05:04,087
I'll go to the event,
but only if you style me.
126
00:05:04,129 --> 00:05:05,569
- Really? Are you sure?
127
00:05:05,609 --> 00:05:08,219
I mean you should be because
I'm amazing, but just checking.
128
00:05:08,264 --> 00:05:10,014
- Yeah, it's your dream
to be a stylist
129
00:05:10,048 --> 00:05:12,218
and if I'm wearing something
you picked out,
130
00:05:12,268 --> 00:05:13,838
it'll almost be like having you
right next to me.
131
00:05:13,878 --> 00:05:15,048
So you in?
132
00:05:15,097 --> 00:05:16,927
- I have a million
ideas already.
133
00:05:16,968 --> 00:05:20,448
- Great. I just have
a couple tiny requests.
134
00:05:20,494 --> 00:05:22,104
Nothing too bright,
but not too somber,
135
00:05:22,147 --> 00:05:25,187
love ruffles, hate frills,
classic, but daring.
136
00:05:25,237 --> 00:05:27,327
Love sleeveless.
Hate my elbows.
137
00:05:27,370 --> 00:05:29,590
Can you do something
about that?
138
00:05:29,633 --> 00:05:31,463
- My mom knows a doctor
in the Cayman Islands,
139
00:05:31,505 --> 00:05:33,375
but he might
not have a license.
140
00:05:37,685 --> 00:05:40,595
- So what do you think?
141
00:05:40,644 --> 00:05:44,784
Rite Aid.
$11.99.
142
00:05:44,822 --> 00:05:46,222
- You look like
you're auditioning
143
00:05:46,258 --> 00:05:49,168
for a high school jazz band.
- Is that good?
144
00:05:49,218 --> 00:05:51,568
Maybe Ramona likes jazz.
Should I write her a song?
145
00:05:51,612 --> 00:05:54,622
- Whoa, daddy-o. Let's not
get ahead of ourselves.
146
00:05:54,658 --> 00:05:56,008
You haven't even met her yet.
147
00:05:56,051 --> 00:05:57,231
- Yeah, I know, but just
the fact that I'm excited
148
00:05:57,269 --> 00:05:59,399
means that I'm ready, Spencer.
149
00:05:59,446 --> 00:06:02,536
You have put the ready
back in Freddie.
150
00:06:02,579 --> 00:06:07,319
- You may be ready, but whoof,
have you seen those eyebrows?
151
00:06:07,367 --> 00:06:08,717
You should go take care
of those bad boys.
152
00:06:08,759 --> 00:06:10,539
- Okay, but this works though.
I keep this.
153
00:06:10,587 --> 00:06:13,327
- I love it.
Yep.
154
00:06:13,373 --> 00:06:15,113
Problem. I showed Ramona
pictures of Freddie.
155
00:06:15,157 --> 00:06:16,457
She doesn't want
to go out with him.
156
00:06:16,506 --> 00:06:18,026
This could scar him forever.
157
00:06:18,073 --> 00:06:20,643
- Relax.
It happens to everyone.
158
00:06:20,684 --> 00:06:22,384
Else.
159
00:06:22,425 --> 00:06:23,465
- Just find him another date.
160
00:06:23,513 --> 00:06:25,653
- But then he'll know
she rejected him.
161
00:06:25,689 --> 00:06:27,779
It'll crush him before
he even gets back out there.
162
00:06:27,822 --> 00:06:30,742
It's got to be Ramona.
163
00:06:30,781 --> 00:06:35,051
Unless it doesn't.
164
00:06:35,090 --> 00:06:37,050
I've got an idea.
165
00:06:40,704 --> 00:06:42,714
- Oh, he's just not
going to tell us.
166
00:06:42,750 --> 00:06:44,580
♪
167
00:06:44,621 --> 00:06:48,411
- Keep your eyes closed.
I have a surprise.
168
00:06:48,451 --> 00:06:51,761
- Did you do the dishes?
- I said surprise, not miracle.
169
00:06:51,802 --> 00:06:53,852
Now open.
170
00:06:53,891 --> 00:06:56,761
It's our very own
styling station.
171
00:06:56,807 --> 00:06:58,547
- Harper, this is amazing.
172
00:06:58,592 --> 00:07:00,382
- I know, right?
I feel like a real stylist.
173
00:07:00,420 --> 00:07:02,600
- You are a real stylist.
174
00:07:02,639 --> 00:07:04,599
Are you thinking
what I'm thinking?
175
00:07:04,641 --> 00:07:07,211
both: Outfit montage!
176
00:07:07,252 --> 00:07:08,862
♪
177
00:07:08,906 --> 00:07:10,866
- It's hurting my retinas.
178
00:07:10,908 --> 00:07:15,298
I feel like the lining
of a really expensive casket.
179
00:07:15,347 --> 00:07:16,777
Too frilly.
180
00:07:16,827 --> 00:07:18,217
Too silly.
181
00:07:18,263 --> 00:07:19,613
Too racy.
182
00:07:19,656 --> 00:07:20,876
Too spacey.
183
00:07:20,918 --> 00:07:22,488
Too flirty.
184
00:07:23,747 --> 00:07:25,577
Too birdy!
185
00:07:25,619 --> 00:07:27,969
Harper, I feel like
you're not quite getting it.
186
00:07:28,012 --> 00:07:31,412
- I thought we agreed.
This is your moment to shine.
187
00:07:31,451 --> 00:07:32,841
You need to be a trailblazer.
188
00:07:32,887 --> 00:07:36,587
- Totally. But like
an effortless trailblazer.
189
00:07:36,630 --> 00:07:37,720
Like I just got out of bed
190
00:07:37,761 --> 00:07:41,641
and was all
"Oops, I just blazed a trail."
191
00:07:41,678 --> 00:07:42,718
Maybe I haven't been
clear enough
192
00:07:42,766 --> 00:07:44,376
about what I'm looking for.
193
00:07:44,420 --> 00:07:48,600
- No, effortlessly trailblazing
could not be clearer.
194
00:07:48,642 --> 00:07:51,652
- I know.
I'm sorry.
195
00:07:51,688 --> 00:07:54,598
It's just the thought of going
out on the red carpet on my own
196
00:07:54,648 --> 00:07:57,388
and seeing Bo and Lita.
197
00:07:57,433 --> 00:07:58,873
It's just hard to choose
an outfit for an event
198
00:07:58,913 --> 00:08:00,743
I'm not that excited to go to.
199
00:08:00,784 --> 00:08:05,354
- Ooh, maybe you just need
some arm candy of your own.
200
00:08:05,397 --> 00:08:06,697
And I have the perfect guy.
Trenton
201
00:08:06,747 --> 00:08:08,787
And he is just your type.
202
00:08:08,836 --> 00:08:11,576
- Okay, I'm in.
- Yeah!
203
00:08:11,621 --> 00:08:14,761
- Wait, is this another
one of your man-me-downs?
204
00:08:14,798 --> 00:08:18,148
- We--never.
205
00:08:18,193 --> 00:08:20,803
Did we?
206
00:08:20,848 --> 00:08:25,848
No.
I'm 80% sure we didn't.
207
00:08:25,896 --> 00:08:27,546
- [scoffs]
Fine.
208
00:08:27,594 --> 00:08:29,994
This is why I got you those
color-coded Post-it notes.
209
00:08:30,031 --> 00:08:31,641
- Right, right.
210
00:08:36,472 --> 00:08:38,612
[upbeat music]
211
00:08:38,648 --> 00:08:40,958
- How much do I owe you?
- Nothing.
212
00:08:40,998 --> 00:08:43,608
But I would accept
your phone number as a tip.
213
00:08:43,653 --> 00:08:46,403
- You're sweet, but a date
with me cost 500 an hour.
214
00:08:46,438 --> 00:08:49,828
- And I bet it
is worth every penny.
215
00:08:49,877 --> 00:08:52,487
But yeah, I don't have that
so have a great day.
216
00:08:54,621 --> 00:08:56,011
- Excuse me. Hi.
217
00:08:56,057 --> 00:08:57,837
Are you the lady
from the errand app?
218
00:08:57,885 --> 00:08:59,095
- If that's what you
want to call it.
219
00:08:59,147 --> 00:09:00,797
- Wow.
220
00:09:00,844 --> 00:09:02,634
Are all the women that work for
your company are this gorgeous?
221
00:09:02,672 --> 00:09:04,412
My friend hired someone to
pick up his package last night
222
00:09:04,456 --> 00:09:05,586
and she was stunning.
223
00:09:05,632 --> 00:09:07,682
- We have all different types
working for us.
224
00:09:07,721 --> 00:09:10,771
But we all know
how to handle a package.
225
00:09:10,811 --> 00:09:12,641
- That's great to hear.
226
00:09:14,771 --> 00:09:18,431
So let me cut to the chase.
I'm pretty desperate.
227
00:09:18,470 --> 00:09:20,120
- Most of the guys
I work with are.
228
00:09:20,168 --> 00:09:21,598
- Then you'll have an easy time
with Freddie.
229
00:09:21,648 --> 00:09:24,298
I just need you to have coffee
with him tonight.
230
00:09:24,346 --> 00:09:26,866
- Just coffee?
That's it?
231
00:09:26,914 --> 00:09:28,134
- Yeah, but
232
00:09:28,176 --> 00:09:30,086
I need you to pretend to be
a woman named Ramona.
233
00:09:30,134 --> 00:09:31,794
Is that weird?
- Ugh, honey,
234
00:09:31,832 --> 00:09:32,702
For the rate you're paying,
235
00:09:32,746 --> 00:09:34,526
I'll be whoever
you want me to be.
236
00:09:34,574 --> 00:09:37,714
Let me just send you
the payment request.
237
00:09:39,579 --> 00:09:42,359
And we're good to go.
[notification chimes]
238
00:09:42,407 --> 00:09:44,797
- Ouch.
That's a really high rate.
239
00:09:44,845 --> 00:09:49,365
- Well, we're the best
at errands.
240
00:09:49,414 --> 00:09:50,634
- And done.
241
00:09:50,677 --> 00:09:53,807
Okay, so my friend Ramona
is a nuclear physicist.
242
00:09:53,854 --> 00:09:55,774
Would you be able to handle
that kind of backstory?
243
00:09:55,812 --> 00:09:57,812
- Sure.
And I own plenty of costumes.
244
00:09:57,858 --> 00:09:59,208
- Oh, nice.
Are you an actress?
245
00:09:59,250 --> 00:10:06,130
- Most of the time, yes.
Unless the guy is really hot.
246
00:10:06,170 --> 00:10:09,610
♪
247
00:10:09,652 --> 00:10:11,832
- Everything looks so good.
- Really?
248
00:10:11,872 --> 00:10:15,092
How can you tell?
There's no pictures.
249
00:10:15,136 --> 00:10:19,226
Whoa, can you read minds?
250
00:10:19,270 --> 00:10:22,930
- No, I can just read.
[chuckles]
251
00:10:24,711 --> 00:10:27,371
Harper said you guys met
at the gym.
252
00:10:27,409 --> 00:10:28,889
Do you work out
at Purple Thesis too?
253
00:10:28,932 --> 00:10:32,682
- Yeah, I go Monday, Tuesday,
Wednesday, Friday and Saturday.
254
00:10:32,719 --> 00:10:34,759
But sometimes I go Monday,
Tuesday, Wednesday,
255
00:10:34,808 --> 00:10:38,898
Friday and Sunday,
because you know,
256
00:10:38,942 --> 00:10:41,862
diversity.
257
00:10:41,902 --> 00:10:45,042
- Got it.
258
00:10:45,079 --> 00:10:46,819
So have you decided on what
you're going to eat?
259
00:10:46,863 --> 00:10:49,743
- Uh, hello,
there's no pictures.
260
00:10:49,779 --> 00:10:51,999
Wow.
You're really bad listener.
261
00:10:52,042 --> 00:10:54,922
- Harper said we'd be perfect
for each other.
262
00:10:54,958 --> 00:10:56,958
I wonder what made
her think that.
263
00:10:57,004 --> 00:10:58,754
- Are you a Flat Earther too?
264
00:10:58,788 --> 00:11:03,878
There are so few of us
who are enlightened.
265
00:11:03,924 --> 00:11:08,104
- No, but I wish I could fall
off the edge right now.
266
00:11:08,145 --> 00:11:14,935
♪
267
00:11:14,978 --> 00:11:18,548
- Hi. Are you Ramona?
- Yes. I'm Ramona.
268
00:11:18,590 --> 00:11:21,200
Ramona,
the nuclear science person.
269
00:11:21,245 --> 00:11:24,595
- Well, I am very nervous.
I mean, that's not my name.
270
00:11:24,640 --> 00:11:26,820
My name is nervous--
Freddie, that's my name.
271
00:11:26,860 --> 00:11:31,730
Should I just go home?
[laughter]
272
00:11:31,778 --> 00:11:34,388
Wait, are you laughing with me
or at me?
273
00:11:34,432 --> 00:11:37,572
- The good one.
- Oh, phew.
274
00:11:37,609 --> 00:11:41,269
Yeah, it's hard for me to tell.
I have an 11-year-old daughter.
275
00:11:41,309 --> 00:11:43,959
- Okay, Zaddy.
276
00:11:44,007 --> 00:11:46,877
- Well, I will look that up
later.
277
00:11:46,923 --> 00:11:48,013
Are you just coming from work?
278
00:11:48,055 --> 00:11:49,965
- No, I'm just getting started
for the night.
279
00:11:50,013 --> 00:11:52,623
- What?
- I mean, yes.
280
00:11:52,668 --> 00:11:55,668
I just came from the lab.
281
00:11:55,715 --> 00:11:56,845
Did you know that
282
00:11:56,890 --> 00:12:00,370
the mitochondria
is the powerhouse of the cell?
283
00:12:00,415 --> 00:12:04,025
- Yes. And did you know that
some cells in multicellular
284
00:12:04,071 --> 00:12:08,081
organisms
don't have mitochondria at all?
285
00:12:08,118 --> 00:12:09,338
What am I talking about?
286
00:12:09,380 --> 00:12:11,560
Of course, you do.
- Of course, I do.
287
00:12:11,600 --> 00:12:13,860
- It's so nice
to just talk to you.
288
00:12:13,907 --> 00:12:16,167
It has been so long
since I've been on a date.
289
00:12:16,213 --> 00:12:21,043
- It's been so long since
I actually talked on a date.
290
00:12:21,088 --> 00:12:25,878
Oh, did you also know that
H2O is also actually water?
291
00:12:25,919 --> 00:12:31,319
- And did you also know that
H2O2 is also hydrogen peroxide?
292
00:12:31,359 --> 00:12:35,359
- Of course, I did.
I'm a science worker.
293
00:12:35,406 --> 00:12:36,486
[chuckles]
294
00:12:36,538 --> 00:12:39,278
- God, I miss flirting!
295
00:12:39,323 --> 00:12:42,673
♪
296
00:12:44,000 --> 00:12:46,390
- It's been a rough week.
I need a heavy pour.
297
00:12:51,747 --> 00:12:53,227
- Carly!
298
00:12:53,270 --> 00:12:56,310
I've got it.
A tux moment.
299
00:12:56,360 --> 00:12:59,100
Powerful, androgynous,
timeless,
300
00:12:59,146 --> 00:13:03,156
very HBIC,
Head Bitch In Charge.
301
00:13:03,193 --> 00:13:05,503
- That sounds a little severe.
302
00:13:05,543 --> 00:13:09,283
How about more
Fun Bitch In Charge?
303
00:13:09,330 --> 00:13:13,030
- Fun Bitch In Charge In A Tux.
304
00:13:13,073 --> 00:13:15,513
- Love it so much.
305
00:13:15,553 --> 00:13:20,213
But I was thinking something
totally different.
306
00:13:20,254 --> 00:13:22,474
Ta-da.
- That?
307
00:13:22,517 --> 00:13:23,787
It looks like a dress
you would wear
308
00:13:23,822 --> 00:13:26,132
to an Air Force
father-daughter dance.
309
00:13:26,173 --> 00:13:31,393
- Wow. That's a very specific
and on-point read.
310
00:13:31,439 --> 00:13:33,309
I just think maybe
I'll be more comfortable
311
00:13:33,354 --> 00:13:34,794
and something I've worn before.
312
00:13:34,833 --> 00:13:36,403
- It's a red carpet.
313
00:13:36,444 --> 00:13:41,104
You're not supposed
to be comfortable.
314
00:13:41,144 --> 00:13:44,324
- Okay,
it was just a suggestion.
315
00:13:44,365 --> 00:13:45,935
- And it's so helpful.
316
00:13:45,975 --> 00:13:48,585
Because this is great practice
for when I'll have to deal
317
00:13:48,630 --> 00:13:52,630
with difficult clients one day.
I better get to work.
318
00:13:59,162 --> 00:14:03,992
- Don't worry.
She's still my BFSSBSJBARN.
319
00:14:04,037 --> 00:14:08,267
Best Friend Since Sam But She's
Just Being Annoying Right Now.
320
00:14:08,302 --> 00:14:13,262
♪
321
00:14:13,307 --> 00:14:15,487
- Ugh!
322
00:14:15,526 --> 00:14:19,146
Hey! So how did the date go?
- I don't want to oversell it.
323
00:14:19,182 --> 00:14:21,752
But that was the best date
324
00:14:21,793 --> 00:14:25,323
that I or anyone else has
ever been on.
325
00:14:25,362 --> 00:14:26,622
- Yes!
- Whoo!
326
00:14:26,668 --> 00:14:28,798
- And now that you've got one
date under your belt,
327
00:14:28,844 --> 00:14:30,194
there are plenty more dates
328
00:14:30,237 --> 00:14:31,677
right around the corner
with other ladies.
329
00:14:31,716 --> 00:14:33,116
- There are definitely
more dates coming up
330
00:14:33,153 --> 00:14:34,633
but not with other girls.
331
00:14:34,676 --> 00:14:38,336
I asked Ramona to go out again.
She said yes.
332
00:14:38,375 --> 00:14:40,115
[notification chimes]
333
00:14:40,160 --> 00:14:44,120
- For tomorrow at 8:00 p.m.?
- Yeah. Wait, how did you know?
334
00:14:44,164 --> 00:14:46,294
- Just a lucky guess.
[chuckles]
335
00:14:46,340 --> 00:14:47,430
- I think Ramona
is very special.
336
00:14:47,471 --> 00:14:50,121
I want to take this
really, really slowly.
337
00:14:50,170 --> 00:14:51,690
- Yeah, but not too slowly.
338
00:14:51,736 --> 00:14:55,006
I mean, dating can be really,
really expensive these days.
339
00:14:55,044 --> 00:14:56,654
- True, but she's worth it.
340
00:14:56,698 --> 00:14:58,608
Now that I have Ramona,
I can do all the things
341
00:14:58,656 --> 00:15:01,836
that I've been
wanting to do for so long.
342
00:15:01,877 --> 00:15:04,837
[big band music]
343
00:15:04,880 --> 00:15:06,310
♪
344
00:15:06,360 --> 00:15:08,010
[notification chimes]
345
00:15:08,057 --> 00:15:09,407
- Dang it!
346
00:15:09,450 --> 00:15:11,840
♪
347
00:15:11,887 --> 00:15:13,027
[notification chimes]
348
00:15:13,062 --> 00:15:14,842
Son of a!
349
00:15:14,890 --> 00:15:18,330
♪
350
00:15:18,372 --> 00:15:19,942
[notification chimes]
351
00:15:19,982 --> 00:15:21,552
Obscenity!
352
00:15:21,592 --> 00:15:23,372
♪
353
00:15:23,420 --> 00:15:26,990
[indistinct chatter on TV]
354
00:15:27,032 --> 00:15:31,302
- I hate clothes.
355
00:15:31,341 --> 00:15:32,911
- Shh!
"RWoww" just started.
356
00:15:32,951 --> 00:15:37,431
And thanks you boomers,
I'm emotionally invested.
357
00:15:37,478 --> 00:15:40,518
- Ugh!
The red carpet is tomorrow.
358
00:15:40,568 --> 00:15:43,088
Why is every dress here
just wrong?
359
00:15:43,136 --> 00:15:46,226
- At some point, maybe you just
have to blame the model.
360
00:15:47,314 --> 00:15:51,404
- Carly!
It finally happened.
361
00:15:51,448 --> 00:15:53,188
- Your cousin resurfaced?
362
00:15:53,233 --> 00:15:56,933
- No, I got an outfit
that you are going to love.
363
00:15:56,975 --> 00:16:00,595
But that does remind me
I should check in with my PI.
364
00:16:00,631 --> 00:16:04,981
- Oh, another outfit, hooray.
365
00:16:05,027 --> 00:16:07,727
- It's perfection
and all it took was
366
00:16:07,769 --> 00:16:09,989
some creative thinking,
a couple of sketches,
367
00:16:10,032 --> 00:16:12,902
and Spencer's credit card
ending with 6821.
368
00:16:12,948 --> 00:16:15,858
I got real lucky
with that security code.
369
00:16:15,907 --> 00:16:19,477
- I'd love to try it on
but "RWoww" just started.
370
00:16:19,520 --> 00:16:22,610
- Carly, is everything okay?
371
00:16:22,653 --> 00:16:25,353
- No, I'm stuck in a dress.
372
00:16:25,395 --> 00:16:27,225
- Whoa!
Cynthia Morgan just called off
373
00:16:27,267 --> 00:16:32,537
her wedding
to Mauricio Vandercliff!
374
00:16:32,576 --> 00:16:36,366
- How could this be happening?
- Good for her.
375
00:16:36,406 --> 00:16:38,626
- Good?
I thought we agreed
376
00:16:38,669 --> 00:16:41,229
that Mauricio was perfect
for Cynthia.
377
00:16:41,281 --> 00:16:45,501
- Things change.
And Mauricio is way better off.
378
00:16:45,546 --> 00:16:47,286
- How do you know
what's best for Mauricio?
379
00:16:47,330 --> 00:16:49,500
- Oh, she did not
just go there.
380
00:16:49,550 --> 00:16:51,290
- You have no idea
what's happening
381
00:16:51,334 --> 00:16:52,384
in the Mauricio's head.
382
00:16:52,422 --> 00:16:54,252
He's got a lot
going on right now.
383
00:16:54,294 --> 00:16:55,864
He just got broken up with
384
00:16:55,904 --> 00:16:57,384
and now he's launching
his new channel
385
00:16:57,427 --> 00:17:00,127
and trying to pick this dress
for Fashion Fest!
386
00:17:00,169 --> 00:17:04,389
- Well, it would be a lot
easier to help Mauricio
387
00:17:04,434 --> 00:17:07,434
if he didn't have his head
so far up his own dress.
388
00:17:07,481 --> 00:17:11,261
- Yes!
Fill that tea!
389
00:17:11,311 --> 00:17:14,401
- Look I'm doing
the best I can.
390
00:17:14,444 --> 00:17:16,144
But you're just not
listening to me.
391
00:17:16,185 --> 00:17:18,055
- I'm trying to listen.
392
00:17:18,100 --> 00:17:20,970
I've worked really hard on this
so can you just trust me?
393
00:17:21,016 --> 00:17:24,506
- Oh, like I did with Trenton?
You said he was just my type.
394
00:17:24,541 --> 00:17:26,931
- What are you talking about?
He was smoking.
395
00:17:26,978 --> 00:17:28,928
- Yeah, but that was just his
last two brain cells
396
00:17:28,980 --> 00:17:30,760
rubbing together.
397
00:17:30,808 --> 00:17:35,588
- Fine. You do what you want.
- Great. I'm going to my room.
398
00:17:37,685 --> 00:17:41,995
Which I can't even get to
because of all these dresses.
399
00:17:42,037 --> 00:17:45,567
- Table flip!
- I have to return those!
400
00:17:45,606 --> 00:17:47,786
- Go ahead because I'm not
wearing any of them.
401
00:17:47,825 --> 00:17:51,915
I'm not going anymore.
- Oh, can you two keep it down?
402
00:17:51,960 --> 00:17:56,610
I'm trying to watch
this epic fight.
403
00:18:01,970 --> 00:18:03,930
[upbeat music]
404
00:18:03,972 --> 00:18:06,232
♪
405
00:18:06,279 --> 00:18:08,449
- [sighs]
406
00:18:12,372 --> 00:18:13,542
[sighs]
407
00:18:17,159 --> 00:18:19,159
I'm sad.
408
00:18:19,204 --> 00:18:22,814
- Heard you the whole time.
what's up?
409
00:18:22,860 --> 00:18:24,160
- Harper and I had a fight.
410
00:18:24,209 --> 00:18:26,429
- I'm sorry.
Is Carper breaking up?
411
00:18:26,473 --> 00:18:30,263
Look out world.
Spencely is back!
412
00:18:30,303 --> 00:18:33,393
- Just this whole styling
thing's been really tense.
413
00:18:33,436 --> 00:18:35,266
And then she set me up
with a guy who she said
414
00:18:35,308 --> 00:18:38,608
would be perfect for me.
And he was so dumb.
415
00:18:38,659 --> 00:18:42,919
- He hot though?
- Stupid hot.
416
00:18:42,967 --> 00:18:45,457
- Yeah, that's your type.
- Are you calling me shallow?
417
00:18:45,492 --> 00:18:47,672
- No, I'm calling you
consistent.
418
00:18:47,711 --> 00:18:49,971
Think back on all the guys
you've dated over the years.
419
00:18:50,018 --> 00:18:52,578
Gorgeous dum-dums.
Himbos!
420
00:18:52,629 --> 00:18:57,199
Pretty in the face-a.
empty in la cabeza.
421
00:18:57,242 --> 00:19:00,942
- Wow, that is my type.
422
00:19:00,985 --> 00:19:03,385
- Damn it, Harper was right
about the guy.
423
00:19:03,423 --> 00:19:05,553
She was probably right
about the dress too.
424
00:19:05,599 --> 00:19:08,859
Should I wear a bird?
425
00:19:08,906 --> 00:19:10,516
- I feel like
I'm missing something here.
426
00:19:10,560 --> 00:19:13,430
- No, I am.
I'm missing this event.
427
00:19:13,476 --> 00:19:15,436
And Harper is missing
a big styling opportunity
428
00:19:15,478 --> 00:19:18,168
and a bunch of publicity.
What should I do?
429
00:19:18,220 --> 00:19:21,570
- Go make it up to her.
Go Carly, go! Come on!
430
00:19:21,615 --> 00:19:24,405
Not till you give me advice!
I need your advice!
431
00:19:24,444 --> 00:19:26,884
Okay, I hired an actress
off Postrabbit
432
00:19:26,924 --> 00:19:28,624
to ease Freddie back
into dating, but--
433
00:19:28,665 --> 00:19:30,065
- Postrabbit?
434
00:19:30,101 --> 00:19:34,151
Spencer, this is EagerBunny.
It's for hiring sex workers.
435
00:19:34,192 --> 00:19:36,892
My friend Anna put herself
through law school on that app.
436
00:19:36,934 --> 00:19:41,594
- So she's not--oh.
But there was a charge--oh.
437
00:19:41,635 --> 00:19:45,465
And the costume, yeah.
What am I going to do?
438
00:19:45,508 --> 00:19:46,898
- Just be honest with Freddie.
439
00:19:46,944 --> 00:19:48,514
He'll understand you were
just trying to help.
440
00:19:48,555 --> 00:19:50,345
- Or I could get him
a celebrity apology
441
00:19:50,383 --> 00:19:51,733
from ContritionPigeon.
442
00:19:51,775 --> 00:19:55,785
- Or you can just report
your credit card as stolen.
443
00:19:55,823 --> 00:19:59,433
But not the one ending in 6821.
444
00:19:59,479 --> 00:20:05,399
♪
445
00:20:05,441 --> 00:20:07,701
- Hey, Melissa,
have you seen your dad?
446
00:20:07,748 --> 00:20:10,138
- He went to go see
his new lady friend Ramona.
447
00:20:10,185 --> 00:20:14,885
- Damn it. Oh, that'll cost me.
448
00:20:14,929 --> 00:20:17,189
Oh, hey, man, listen,
we have to talk.
449
00:20:17,235 --> 00:20:18,805
- Can it wait?
I'm a bit bummed.
450
00:20:18,846 --> 00:20:20,456
I just ended things
with Ramona.
451
00:20:20,500 --> 00:20:22,890
- Oh, thank God.
452
00:20:22,937 --> 00:20:26,637
That you had the courage
to let her down gently.
453
00:20:26,680 --> 00:20:28,200
- I'm sorry Millicent,
454
00:20:28,246 --> 00:20:29,816
but I just dumped
your future stepmother.
455
00:20:29,857 --> 00:20:31,037
- Never met this woman.
456
00:20:31,075 --> 00:20:34,215
Thought the photos were
only okay.
457
00:20:34,252 --> 00:20:36,382
- It was great getting
to know her, but I don't know.
458
00:20:36,429 --> 00:20:39,599
There's just no spark.
- [scoffs] No spark?
459
00:20:39,649 --> 00:20:41,609
Was expecting a damn rocket
launched to Mars
460
00:20:41,651 --> 00:20:43,521
after all that
461
00:20:43,566 --> 00:20:46,046
romance and listening.
462
00:20:46,090 --> 00:20:47,520
- Look, don't get me wrong.
463
00:20:47,570 --> 00:20:50,350
I love a woman with a career
but she kept leaving our date
464
00:20:50,399 --> 00:20:54,619
so abruptly for "nuclear
physicist emergencies."
465
00:20:54,664 --> 00:20:57,064
And always right on the hour.
466
00:20:57,101 --> 00:21:00,061
But hey, even though it didn't
work out with Ramona,
467
00:21:00,104 --> 00:21:02,844
the ready is still in Freddie.
468
00:21:02,890 --> 00:21:05,500
- We got to get you
a new catchphrase.
469
00:21:08,417 --> 00:21:09,897
- What's everyone doing
in my apartment?
470
00:21:09,940 --> 00:21:11,680
- I was here trying to get
some peace and quiet after
471
00:21:11,725 --> 00:21:16,385
Carly left for Fashion Fest.
But clearly that plan failed.
472
00:21:16,425 --> 00:21:18,605
- She actually went?
- What did she wear?
473
00:21:18,645 --> 00:21:21,995
- I don't know. All I saw was
those jacked up elbows.
474
00:21:24,825 --> 00:21:25,915
- Carly!
475
00:21:25,956 --> 00:21:32,926
♪
476
00:21:32,963 --> 00:21:35,273
Carly! Wait, wait!
- Harper!
477
00:21:35,313 --> 00:21:37,753
Okay, before you say anything,
I just have to say I'm sorry.
478
00:21:37,794 --> 00:21:39,664
- I'm sorry too but--
- No, it's okay.
479
00:21:39,709 --> 00:21:40,789
You're brilliant.
480
00:21:40,841 --> 00:21:43,541
You used my old dress
and I feel so confident.
481
00:21:43,583 --> 00:21:44,893
- You can't go out
there in this.
482
00:21:44,932 --> 00:21:46,372
- What?
What do you mean?
483
00:21:46,411 --> 00:21:47,581
I was just about to--
[fabric rips]
484
00:21:47,630 --> 00:21:49,110
[gasps]
- Oh, my God.
485
00:21:49,153 --> 00:21:50,633
We never did a fitting.
486
00:21:50,677 --> 00:21:52,637
These are all just
temporary stitches.
487
00:21:52,679 --> 00:21:54,589
- Oh no, what am I going to do?
488
00:21:54,637 --> 00:21:57,867
- Don't worry, I got you.
489
00:22:04,734 --> 00:22:07,134
- So are we good?
490
00:22:07,171 --> 00:22:09,911
I mean, I did flip a table.
491
00:22:09,957 --> 00:22:14,707
- Can I be honest with you?
It was iconic.
492
00:22:14,744 --> 00:22:17,744
Even though I was so angry,
I was secretly living for it.
493
00:22:17,791 --> 00:22:20,051
[shutters clicking]
494
00:22:20,097 --> 00:22:23,977
- Same. I just wish you'd
thrown a drink in my face.
495
00:22:24,014 --> 00:22:26,274
- Ooh, we'll save that
for our next fight.
496
00:22:27,670 --> 00:22:29,190
[fabric rips]
497
00:22:32,283 --> 00:22:34,543
- By the way,
you were so right.
498
00:22:34,590 --> 00:22:37,240
My type is totally
hot and dumb.
499
00:22:37,288 --> 00:22:40,028
What a revelation.
Do I need therapy?
500
00:22:40,074 --> 00:22:41,864
No, I'm good.
501
00:22:41,902 --> 00:22:43,552
[fabric rips]
502
00:22:45,296 --> 00:22:46,956
- Promise me
you'll never let go.
503
00:22:46,994 --> 00:22:50,174
- I'll never let go Carly,
I'll never let go.
504
00:22:52,086 --> 00:22:53,616
[fabric rips]
505
00:22:57,570 --> 00:23:00,090
- No sudden moves.
506
00:23:00,137 --> 00:23:02,967
We live here now.
- Okay.
507
00:23:03,010 --> 00:23:06,710
♪
508
00:23:06,753 --> 00:23:11,413
- Hey Harper,
it's me, Countess Debra, duh.
509
00:23:11,453 --> 00:23:15,543
This is your ContritionPigeon
from your friend Carly.
510
00:23:15,588 --> 00:23:20,458
She wants me to let you know
that you are so talented.
511
00:23:20,505 --> 00:23:23,245
That outfit you put together
512
00:23:23,291 --> 00:23:26,511
was effortlessly trailblazing.
513
00:23:26,555 --> 00:23:31,785
It was so
Fun Bitch In Charge.
514
00:23:31,821 --> 00:23:35,821
Also, please forgive Carly
for being so difficult
515
00:23:35,869 --> 00:23:38,259
but also, like, you
are no cakewalk, either.
516
00:23:38,306 --> 00:23:40,746
Irregardless,
please forgive her.
517
00:23:40,787 --> 00:23:42,877
Just like I forgave
my dead husband,
518
00:23:42,919 --> 00:23:45,789
who I miss so much
519
00:23:45,835 --> 00:23:47,885
and I definitely didn't kill
520
00:23:47,924 --> 00:23:50,974
to get on "The Real Widows
Of Wisconsin."
521
00:23:52,233 --> 00:23:54,713
In conclusion...
522
00:23:54,757 --> 00:23:56,457
feminism.
523
00:23:56,498 --> 00:23:59,668
Like I always say,
money isn't a thing,
524
00:23:59,719 --> 00:24:02,589
it's everything!
525
00:24:02,635 --> 00:24:05,205
Bye.
526
00:24:05,246 --> 00:24:07,166
both: It's everything!
527
00:24:07,204 --> 00:24:08,684
♪
528
00:24:08,734 --> 00:24:13,284
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