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>> Mandersohn: DEEP, RESTFUL
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SLEEP, THE KIND OF RELAXING
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SLUMBER MADE POSSIBLE BY A QUIET
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HEART AND QUIET MIND.
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DREAM, ANGEL.
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DREAM.
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ONE DAY, WE'LL ALL SLEEP THIS
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WAY AS WE VOYAGE TO OTHER
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PLANETS -- MARS, THE MOONS OF
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SATURN, AND OTHER TERRIFIC
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STARS.
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SOUND IMPOSSIBLE?
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IT'S NOT, NOT WHEN YOU HAVE
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THREE INDISPENSABLE TOOLS THAT I
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WILL TEACH YOU ABOUT TODAY.
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I'M RANDALL TYREE MANDERSOHN.
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I'M TOTALLY BLIND, AND I'M ABOUT
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TO FILL YOUR BLACK HOLE WITH
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"YOU'RE WHOLE."
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[ INSPIRATIONAL MUSIC PLAYS ]
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[ APPLAUSE ]
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HEY! HI, EVERYBODY!
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IS EVERYBODY READY TO LEARN?
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>> All: YEAH.
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>> Mandersohn: ALL RIGHT.
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HELLO, AND WELCOME TO
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"YOU'RE WHOLE," MY 27-DVD LIFE
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SYSTEM THAT WILL TAKE YOU PLACED
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YOU'VE NEVER DREAMED, EVEN IF,
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LIKE ME, YOU'RE TOTALLY BLIND.
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THANK YOU.
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I'M NOTED EXPERT
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RANDALL TYREE MANDERSOHN, AND
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I'M SO EXCITED TO GET TODAY'S
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JOURNEY UNDERWAY WITH DVD 10,
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PROPOFOL.
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I THINK I SEE SOME CONFUSED
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FACES.
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WHAT'S YOUR QUESTION?
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>> [ Slowly ] WHAT'S PROPOFOL?
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>> ISN'T THAT THE ANAESTHETIC
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THAT KILLED MICHAEL JACKSON?
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>> I DON'T WANT TO BE DEAD LIKE
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MICHAEL JACKSON.
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>> Mandersohn: [ Chuckling ]
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HANG ON, GUYS.
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HANG ON.
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I THINK WE'RE GETTING A LITTLE
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AHEAD OF OURSELVES.
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[ ALL SIGH, CHUCKLE ]
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NOW, TO ANSWER YOUR QUESTION,
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YES.
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PROPOFOL IS A POWERFUL
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ANAESTHETIC, BUT PROPOFOL DIDN'T
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KILL MICHAEL JACKSON.
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YOU KNOW WHAT KILLED
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MICHAEL JACKSON?
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PEOPLE.
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NOW, I'VE PREPARED A LITTLE
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VIDEO TO SHOW YOU HOW I
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DISCOVERED PROPOFOL AND WHAT IT
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CAN DO FOR YOU.
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LET'S TAKE A LOOK.
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>> HAVING TROUBLE SLEEPING
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AGAIN, RANDALL?
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>> Mandersohn: I'LL SAY.
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HOW CAN I SLEEP WHEN THE WORLD
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IS SO UNHAPPY?
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>> IF EVERYBODY USED THE
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"YOU'RE WHOLE" SYSTEM, THE WORLD
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WOULD BE HAPPY.
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>> Mandersohn: I KNOW IT, PAM.
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I KNOW IT.
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>> MAYBE I CAN HELP.
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>> Mandersohn: THANKS, PAM, BUT
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I DON'T THINK YOUR SERVILE,
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ORIENTAL BACK RUBS WILL DO IT
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TONIGHT.
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>> RANDALL, I'VE GOT SOME BAD
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NEWS.
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YOU'RE TOTALLY BLIND!
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>> Mandersohn: I ALREADY KNOW
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THAT, DOC.
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BUT WHY AM I HAVING SO MUCH
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TROUBLE SLEEPING?
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>> I'VE SEEN THIS BEFORE, YOU
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SEE.
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WHEN PEOPLE CARE TOO MUCH,
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SOMETIMES IT AFFECTS THEIR
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SLEEP.
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>> Mandersohn: THAT'S WHAT I WAS
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AFRAID OF.
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[ SIGHS ]
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IS THERE ANYTHING I CAN DO?
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>> HAVE YOU EVER HEARD OF
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PROPOFOL?
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[ HISSING ]
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>> [ SIGHS ]
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GOOD MORNING, RANDALL.
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RANDALL?
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OH, MY GOD! RANDALL!
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RANDALL!
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OH!
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GEEZ, I THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD.
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>> Mandersohn: DEAD?
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NOW, THAT'S WHAT I CALL A GOOD
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NIGHT'S SLEEP.
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[ BOTH LAUGH ]
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NOW I'D LIKE TO INTRODUCE YOU TO
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MY PERSONAL PHYSICIAN,
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DR. CONNOR MURPHY.
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DR. MURPHY, LET'S START WITH THE
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QUESTION EVERYBODY'S ASKING.
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IS PROPOFOL SAFE?
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>> YEP.
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>> Mandersohn: GREAT.
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>> YEAH, I MEAN, AS LONG AS YOU
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DON'T OVERDO IT, YOU SHOULD BE
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FINE.
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>> Mandersohn: WELL, THAT MAKES
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SENSE.
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>> IT'S LIKE CAKE, MAN.
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YOU CAN EAT A PIECE OF CAKE, AND
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YOU'LL BE COOL.
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BUT IF YOU EAT THE WHOLE CAKE,
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YOU'LL PROBABLY PUKE.
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>> Mandersohn: MM-HMM.
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>> WHEN I WAS IN MEDICAL SCHOOL,
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WE USED TO GO NUTS, YOU KNOW?
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HAVE YOU EVER SMOKED CRANK?
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>> Mandersohn: CRACK?
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>> NO, MAN! CRANK!
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>> Mandersohn: UH, NO.
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>> IT'S CRAZY, MAN.
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>> Mandersohn: YEAH.
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WELL, WHEN "YOU'RE WHOLE"
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RETURNS, I'M GONNA TEACH YOU A
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TRICK THAT WILL HAVE YOU
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LITERALLY REACHING THE STARS...
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ON A BUDGET.
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>> [ SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY ]
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>> YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE DONE
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WITH YOUR HOMEWORK AN HOUR AGO.
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>> I KNOW. IT'S JUST SO BORING.
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>> HOW ARE YOU GOING TO GET INTO
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A TOP-FLIGHT COLLEGE IF YOU
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DON'T DO YOUR HOMEWORK?
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>> I DON'T CARE.
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I WISH YOU HAD NEVER ADOPTED ME
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FROM INDIA.
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>> WELL, SOMETIMES I WISH WE'D
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ADOPTED A BOY FROM A HIGHER
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SOCIAL CASTE.
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>> Mandersohn: HEY, HEY.
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TAKE IT EASY, GUYS.
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>> RANDALL TYREE MANDERSOHN?
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WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
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>> Mandersohn: I HEARD YOU GUYS
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FIGHTING OVER HOMEWORK.
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>> I BET THE WHOLE NEIGHBORHOOD
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PROBABLY HEARD US.
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>> Mandersohn: WELL, DON'T
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WORRY, 'CAUSE I'VE GOT A
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BRAND-NEW WAY TO MAKE HOMEWORK
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TIME...
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FUN TIME.
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>> HOMEWORK -- FUN?
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THIS I'VE GOTTA SEE.
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>> Mandersohn: IT'S MY BRAND-NEW
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HOMEWORK RANDOMIZER.
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IT TAKES DOING HOMEWORK TO A
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WHOLE NEW LEVEL.
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HERE'S HOW IT WORKS.
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OPEN THE BAG AND TAKE OUT THE
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SPECIAL RANDOMIZER.
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NOW ROLL THE RANDOMIZER AND SEE
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WHAT YOU GET.
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>> I ROLLED A FIVE.
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>> Mandersohn: THAT MEANS ANSWER
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THE FIFTH QUESTION!
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>> HOMEWORK HAS NEVER BEEN THIS
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FUN!
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>> HEY! LET ME TRY!
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>> GET YOUR OWN HOMEWORK, DAD.
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>> Mandersohn: [ CHUCKLES ]
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>> THANKS, RANDALL.
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>> Mandersohn: NO.
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THANK YOU...
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FOR ADOPTING A CHILD NOBODY
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WANTED.
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>> Mandersohn: WE'RE BACK.
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YOU KNOW, EVER SINCE I WAS A
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TOTALLY BLIND YOUNG BOY, I USED
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TO LOOK UP IN THE HEAVENS AND
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DREAM ABOUT VISITING THE STARS,
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AND I DON'T MEAN THE ONES IN
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BEVERLY HILLS.
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[ LAUGHTER ]
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ALTHOUGH IF DYAN CANNON WANTS TO
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SAY HELLO, I'M NOT GONNA SAY NO.
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[ LAUGHTER ]
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WELL, GUESS WHAT, GANG?
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YOU DON'T HAVE TO DREAM ABOUT IT
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ANYMORE, BECAUSE I'M GONNA SHOW
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YOU HOW YOU CAN VISIT THE STARS.
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TOBY, COME ON OUT HERE.
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NOW...
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>> [ Whispering ] What is that?
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>> Mandersohn: ...DOES ANYBODY
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KNOW WHAT THIS IS?
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>> IT LOOKS LIKE SOME KIND OF
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TUBE?
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>> Mandersohn: IT IS.
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BUT CAN YOU GUESS WHAT KIND?
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>> A...SCIENCE TUBE?
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>> Mandersohn: YOU'RE GETTING
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WARMER.
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ANYBODY ELSE?
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>> I KNOW! A ROWBOAT!
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>> Mandersohn: GOOD GUESS.
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NO, THIS...
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IS A TELESCOPE.
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[ ALL GASP ]
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>> I THOUGHT THOSE WERE ONLY IN
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THE MOVIES!
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>> Mandersohn: NO.
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TELESCOPES ARE VERY REAL AND
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VERY FUN.
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AND YOU'RE GONNA LEARN ALL ABOUT
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THEM IN DVD 24, "TELESCOPES."
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[ LAUGHTER, APPLAUSE ]
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I'M HERE WITH DR. SIMON OSWALD
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AT THE GODDARD OBSERVATORY.
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DR. OSWALD, WELCOME TO
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"YOU'RE WHOLE."
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>> I'M VERY HAPPY TO SHARE MY
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LOVE OF ASTRONOMY.
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>> Mandersohn: GREAT.
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FIRST QUESTION.
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I'M A LEO. WHAT'S IN MY FUTURE?
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>> [ Chuckling ] RANDALL, I
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THINK YOU'RE CONFUSING ASTRONOMY
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WITH, UH, ASTROLOGY!
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>> Mandersohn: [ LAUGHS ]
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AM I?
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>> I'M AFRAID SO.
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>> Mandersohn: WELL, I JUST WANT
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TO KNOW IF NOW IS A GOOD TIME TO
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BUY REAL ESTATE.
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>> I HAVEN'T THE FAINTEST IDEA.
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WELL, WHAT I CAN TELL YOU IS
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THAT OUR NEAREST NEIGHBOR IN THE
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GALAXY IS PROXIMA CENTAURI.
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>> Mandersohn: THINK YOU'RE
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PRETTY SPECIAL, HUH?
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[ BOTH LAUGH ]
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COME ON HERE, SHOW ME UP IN
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FRONT OF EVERYBODY.
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MUST MAKE YOU FEEL ABOUT
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10 FEET TALL.
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>> NO, NO, NO, NO.
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>> Mandersohn: I TELL YOU, MAYBE
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YOU COULD TAKE THAT TELESCOPE,
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SHOVE IT WHERE THE SUN DON'T
265
00:07:01,522 --> 00:07:02,692
SHINE -- MATCH THAT STICK YOU
266
00:07:02,690 --> 00:07:03,220
GOT UP THERE.
267
00:07:03,223 --> 00:07:04,123
HOW YOU LIKE THAT?
268
00:07:04,124 --> 00:07:05,164
>> WHATEVER YOU THOUGHT I
269
00:07:05,158 --> 00:07:05,788
MEANT --
270
00:07:05,793 --> 00:07:06,963
>> Mandersohn: UH, I-I-I DON'T
271
00:07:06,960 --> 00:07:08,060
KNOW -- WHAT DID YOU MEAN?
272
00:07:08,061 --> 00:07:09,031
"RANDALL'S AN IDIOT."
273
00:07:09,029 --> 00:07:09,559
>> NO.
274
00:07:09,563 --> 00:07:10,803
>> Mandersohn: IS THAT HOW YOU
275
00:07:10,798 --> 00:07:11,058
FEEL?
276
00:07:11,064 --> 00:07:12,634
>> I DIDN'T -- I-I --
277
00:07:12,866 --> 00:07:14,166
>> Mandersohn: OKAY.
278
00:07:14,167 --> 00:07:16,197
NOW LET'S TRY WHAT WE'VE LEARNED
279
00:07:16,203 --> 00:07:18,543
ON AN ACTUAL TELESCOPE.
280
00:07:18,539 --> 00:07:20,009
BUT I'M GONNA NEED A VOLUNTEER.
281
00:07:20,007 --> 00:07:20,567
>> OOH!
282
00:07:20,574 --> 00:07:21,884
>> Mandersohn: UM...HOW ABOUT
283
00:07:21,875 --> 00:07:22,135
YOU?
284
00:07:22,142 --> 00:07:23,142
W-WHAT'S YOUR NAME?
285
00:07:23,143 --> 00:07:23,813
>> DEBBIE.
286
00:07:23,811 --> 00:07:24,851
>> Mandersohn: DEBBIE!
287
00:07:24,845 --> 00:07:25,745
[ ALL CHUCKLING ]
288
00:07:25,746 --> 00:07:26,846
THAT'S AN UNUSUAL NAME.
289
00:07:26,847 --> 00:07:28,147
WHAT'S YOUR ASTRONOMICAL SIGN?
290
00:07:28,148 --> 00:07:29,148
>> I'M A CAPRICORN.
291
00:07:29,149 --> 00:07:30,519
>> Mandersohn: A CAPRICORN!
292
00:07:30,518 --> 00:07:32,488
OKAY! COME ON OVER HERE.
293
00:07:32,720 --> 00:07:35,220
STEP ON DOWN BY THE TELESCOPE,
294
00:07:35,222 --> 00:07:36,662
AND TAKE A LOOK THROUGH THERE
295
00:07:36,657 --> 00:07:38,657
AND TELL ME WHAT YOU SEE.
296
00:07:38,659 --> 00:07:40,529
>> IT'S VERY BRIGHT.
297
00:07:40,528 --> 00:07:41,828
I-IS THAT BECAUSE IT'S POINTED
298
00:07:41,829 --> 00:07:42,559
AT THE LIGHTS?
299
00:07:42,563 --> 00:07:43,703
>> Mandersohn: NO, DEBBIE.
300
00:07:43,697 --> 00:07:45,897
THAT'S BECAUSE YOU HAVE A VERY
301
00:07:45,899 --> 00:07:47,329
BRIGHT FUTURE!
302
00:07:47,334 --> 00:07:49,574
[ LAUGHTER ]
303
00:07:49,570 --> 00:07:50,740
>> CAN I STEP ON THE SCALE?
304
00:07:50,738 --> 00:07:51,838
>> Mandersohn: NO NEED TO,
305
00:07:51,839 --> 00:07:53,009
DEBBIE, BECAUSE I HAVE SOME
306
00:07:53,006 --> 00:07:54,036
GREAT NEWS.
307
00:07:54,274 --> 00:07:55,744
DEBBIE...
308
00:07:55,743 --> 00:07:57,553
YOU JUST LOST...
309
00:07:57,545 --> 00:07:58,575
ALL THE WEIGHT!
310
00:07:58,579 --> 00:07:59,579
[ ALL GASPING ]
311
00:07:59,580 --> 00:08:01,680
>> [ LAUGHS ]
312
00:08:01,682 --> 00:08:03,122
THANK YOU, RANDALL! THANK YOU!
313
00:08:03,116 --> 00:08:04,586
>> Mandersohn: OH-H-H, MY
314
00:08:04,585 --> 00:08:05,185
PLEASURE.
315
00:08:05,185 --> 00:08:07,015
WHEN "YOU'RE WHOLE" RETURNS,
316
00:08:07,020 --> 00:08:10,120
WE'RE GONNA PUT IT ALL TOGETHER.
317
00:08:10,123 --> 00:08:11,163
GREAT JOB.
318
00:08:14,361 --> 00:08:15,961
>> Mandersohn: WELCOME BACK.
319
00:08:15,963 --> 00:08:17,603
WELL, SO FAR TONIGHT, YOU'VE
320
00:08:17,598 --> 00:08:19,198
HEARD ABOUT PROPOFOL, AND YOU'VE
321
00:08:19,199 --> 00:08:20,629
HEARD ABOUT TELESCOPES.
322
00:08:20,634 --> 00:08:22,604
BUT NOW WE'RE GONNA PUT IT ALL
323
00:08:22,603 --> 00:08:23,303
TOGETHER.
324
00:08:23,303 --> 00:08:23,943
HOW?
325
00:08:23,937 --> 00:08:27,537
WITH DVD 4, "ABRAHAM LINCOLN."
326
00:08:27,775 --> 00:08:29,205
WHAT DOES OUR THIRD PRESIDENT
327
00:08:29,209 --> 00:08:31,239
HAVE TO DO WITH "YOU'RE WHOLE"?
328
00:08:31,244 --> 00:08:34,384
PLENTY. LET'S TAKE A LOOK.
329
00:08:34,381 --> 00:08:35,881
>> WHEN I WAS A YOUNG BOY, I
330
00:08:35,883 --> 00:08:37,053
NEVER THOUGHT IT WOULD BE
331
00:08:37,050 --> 00:08:38,650
POSSIBLE TO BE PRESIDENT OF THE
332
00:08:38,652 --> 00:08:40,122
UNITED STATES.
333
00:08:40,120 --> 00:08:41,820
BUT THEN MY PAPPY GAVE ME
334
00:08:41,822 --> 00:08:42,892
SOMETHING.
335
00:08:42,890 --> 00:08:44,890
>> HERE, SON.
336
00:08:44,892 --> 00:08:46,792
IT'S A TELESCOPE.
337
00:08:46,794 --> 00:08:48,734
>> THANKS, PAPPY!
338
00:08:48,729 --> 00:08:50,659
>> JUST POINT IT AT THE STARS.
339
00:08:50,664 --> 00:08:52,634
THEY'LL TELL YOU YOUR DESTINY.
340
00:08:52,633 --> 00:08:53,803
>> IT SAYS I'M GOING TO BE
341
00:08:53,801 --> 00:08:56,171
PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES.
342
00:08:56,169 --> 00:08:57,839
>> MY STARS!
343
00:08:57,838 --> 00:08:58,868
>> NO, PAPPY.
344
00:08:59,106 --> 00:09:01,606
THEY'RE ALL OUR STARS.
345
00:09:01,609 --> 00:09:02,809
>> OH, INDEED, THEY ARE,
346
00:09:02,810 --> 00:09:04,010
ABRAHAM LINCOLN.
347
00:09:04,011 --> 00:09:06,211
INDEED, THEY ARE.
348
00:09:06,614 --> 00:09:07,924
>> Mandersohn: LET'S MEET HIM
349
00:09:07,915 --> 00:09:09,145
NOW.
350
00:09:09,149 --> 00:09:11,019
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN...
351
00:09:11,018 --> 00:09:13,188
PRESIDENT ABRAHAM LINCOLN.
352
00:09:13,186 --> 00:09:15,556
[ "HAIL TO THE CHIEF" PLAYING ]
353
00:09:19,627 --> 00:09:20,957
>> FOUR SCORE AND SEVEN YEARS
354
00:09:20,961 --> 00:09:22,431
AGO, I PURCHASED "YOU'RE WHOLE."
355
00:09:22,429 --> 00:09:23,799
BEST DECISION I EVER MADE.
356
00:09:23,797 --> 00:09:25,127
>> Mandersohn: NO WONDER THEY
357
00:09:25,132 --> 00:09:26,272
CALL HIM "HONEST ABE."
358
00:09:26,266 --> 00:09:26,996
[ LAUGHTER ]
359
00:09:27,000 --> 00:09:28,100
THANKS FOR BEING HERE,
360
00:09:28,101 --> 00:09:29,101
PRESIDENT LINCOLN.
361
00:09:29,102 --> 00:09:30,442
>> ANYTHING FOR YOU, RANDALL.
362
00:09:30,437 --> 00:09:32,007
NOW, IF YOU DON'T MIND, I'VE GOT
363
00:09:32,005 --> 00:09:33,165
TO REST THESE OLD BONES.
364
00:09:33,173 --> 00:09:34,213
>> Mandersohn: SURE.
365
00:09:34,207 --> 00:09:35,777
[ CHUCKLES ]
366
00:09:44,718 --> 00:09:46,948
[ HISSING ]
367
00:09:48,221 --> 00:09:49,191
>> Mandersohn: AT
368
00:09:49,189 --> 00:09:50,789
"YOU'RE WHOLE," WE'RE SOLVING
369
00:09:50,791 --> 00:09:52,961
PROBLEMS AND SAVING LIVES.
370
00:09:52,960 --> 00:09:54,860
UNFORTUNATELY, WE COULDN'T SAVE
371
00:09:54,862 --> 00:09:55,732
THE LIFE OF
372
00:09:55,729 --> 00:09:57,229
PRESIDENT ABRAHAM LINCOLN.
373
00:09:57,230 --> 00:09:58,200
>> HE'S DEAD.
374
00:09:58,198 --> 00:09:59,798
[ ALL GASP ]
375
00:09:59,800 --> 00:10:01,130
>> Mandersohn: YES.
376
00:10:01,134 --> 00:10:03,374
SLEEP, SWEET PRINCE.
377
00:10:03,370 --> 00:10:06,810
SLEEP THE SLEEP OF ANGELS IN
378
00:10:06,807 --> 00:10:08,607
AMERICA.
379
00:10:16,249 --> 00:10:17,219
WE SALUTE YOU,
380
00:10:17,217 --> 00:10:19,187
PRESIDENT LINCOLN, AND WE SALUTE
381
00:10:19,186 --> 00:10:21,216
ALL OF THE BRAVE PATRIOTS THAT
382
00:10:21,221 --> 00:10:23,921
ARE FILLING THEIR AMERICAN HOLES
383
00:10:23,924 --> 00:10:25,794
WITH "YOU'RE WHOLE."
384
00:10:50,183 --> 00:10:51,183
>> Mandersohn: ORDER
385
00:10:51,184 --> 00:10:52,394
"YOU'RE WHOLE" NOW FOR THREE
386
00:10:52,385 --> 00:10:55,055
EASY PAYMENTS OF $19.99.
387
00:10:55,055 --> 00:10:57,255
THAT'S $19.99.
388
00:10:57,257 --> 00:10:59,027
YOU GET THE DVDs, THE
389
00:10:59,026 --> 00:11:01,226
RTM HOMEWORK RANDOMIZER, AND A
390
00:11:01,228 --> 00:11:03,358
16-OUNCE SAMPLE CONTAINER OF
391
00:11:03,363 --> 00:11:04,263
PROPOFOL.
392
00:11:04,264 --> 00:11:06,174
CALL NOW.
24169
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