Original subtitles

>> IN THIS ECONOMY, NOBODY'S

BUYING SKATEBOARDS.

WHAT DO I DO?

>> LUMBER JUST ISN'T MOVING IN

THIS ECONOMY.

HOW DO I PAY MY BILLS?

>> TOO MANY BEADS AND NOT ENOUGH

CUSTOMERS.

THAT'S WHAT THIS BEAD-STORE

OWNER IS SAYING.

>> All: I NEED HELP!

>> Mandersohn: MONEY.

IT'S THE ONLY THING PEOPLE

CANNOT LIVE WITHOUT.

AND YET THERE NEVER SEEMS TO BE

ENOUGH TO GO AROUND.

WHAT IF YOU HAD ALL THE MONEY

YOU COULD EVER WANT?

IN THE NEXT FEW MINUTES, I'M

GONNA SHOW YOU EXACTLY HOW TO

GET IT AND LOSE ALL THE WEIGHT.

I'M NOTED EXPERT

RANDALL TYREE MANDERSOHN, I'M

TOTALLY BLIND, AND THIS IS

"YOU'RE WHOLE."

[ APPLAUSE ]

ALL RIGHT!

WHOOOOOOOOO!

[ LAUGHING ]

HEY, EVERYBODY.

GREAT TO SEE YOU!

HEY, THANKS FOR COMING.

WELCOME TO "YOU'RE WHOLE," MY

27-DVD COLLECTION THAT WILL

TEACH YOU TO GET WHAT YOU WANT

WITH WHO YOU WANT WHEN YOU WANT

TO HAVE HOW YOU WANT AND WHY YOU

WANT.

[ APPLAUSE ]

THANK YOU.

NOW, BEFORE WE START TODAY, I'M

GONNA ASK YOU ALL A SIMPLE

QUESTION -- HOW MANY OF YOU HAVE

TOO MUCH MONEY?

[ AUDIENCE MURMURS ]

I DIDN'T THINK SO.

BECAUSE MONEY IS LIKE

MEDICINE -- YOU CAN NEVER TAKE

TOO MUCH MEDICINE AND YOU CAN

NEVER HAVE TOO MUCH MONEY.

TODAY, ON A VERY SPECIAL

"YOU'RE WHOLE," I'M GONNA DEVOTE

AN ENTIRE EPISODE TO MAKING THAT

MONEY, HONEY.

[ LAUGHTER ]

LET'S START WITH ONE OF MY

FAVORITES IN THE "YOU'RE WHOLE"

SERIES.

IT'S DVD 6 -- "LEMONADE STAND."

>> THIS LEMONADE STAND WAS A

TERRIBLE IDEA.

>> I HATE MY LIFE.

>> Mandersohn: LEMONADE STAND

GOT YOU DOWN?

>> Both: RANDALL TYREE

MANDERSOHN?!

>> Mandersohn: THAT'S RIGHT,

YOUNG LADIES.

AND I'M ABOUT TO TURN YOUR

LEMONADE STAND INTO THE TALK OF

THE NEIGHBORHOOD.

LET'S GET TO WORK!

>> All: YAY!

>> Both: WOW!

>> Mandersohn: WHAT DO YOU SAY

WE TAKE HER OUT FOR A SPIN?

>> WHY, SPACE LEMONADE?

I'VE NEVER HEARD OF SUCH A

THING.

I'LL TAKE TWO CUPS.

>> IT TASTES JUST LIKE EARTH

LEMONADE BUT IT'S BLUE.

>> EVEN TEENAGERS LOVE

SPACE LEMONADE.

>> Mandersohn: WELL, GIRLS,

HOW'S THE NEW SPACE LEMONADE

STAND WORKING OUT?

>> GREAT, AND IT'S ALL THANKS TO

YOU.

>> Mandersohn: NO, GIRLS, IT'S

ALL THANKS TO YOUR HARD WORK.

AND REMEMBER, WITH ALL THIS

MONEY LAYING AROUND, YOU'VE GOT

TO BE CAREFUL.

>> OH, WE WILL BE.

>> Mandersohn: [ LAUGHS ]

OKAY, GUYS, WHAT'S THE MAIN

LESSON YOU TOOK AWAY FROM DVD 6?

YEAH.

>> USE CREATIVE THINKING TO

SOLVE A PROBLEM.

>> Mandersohn: NO.

ANYBODY ELSE?

YEAH.

>> FIND NEW WAYS TO MARKET AN

OLD PRODUCT?

>> Mandersohn: WRONG.

THAT ANSWER IS WRONG.

THE MAIN LESSON IS THAT PEOPLE

LOVE SPACE LEMONADE.

OKAY.

AND NOW I'VE GOT A VERY SPECIAL

SURPRISE FOR YOU.

DO YOU GUYS REMEMBER THOSE TWO

ADORABLE LITTLE GIRLS FROM THE

DVD?

WELL, GUESS WHAT.

THEY'RE ALL GROWN UP AND THEY'RE

HERE WITH US TODAY.

PLEASE WELCOME ELLIE WALKER AND

DYNASTY SAMMONS.

[ APPLAUSE ]

I MEAN, I'M TOTALLY BLIND, BUT

I'VE JUST GOT TWO WORDS FOR YOU

GUYS -- WOWZA!

>> RANDALL, THAT SPACE LEMONADE

STAND GAVE ME THE CAREER BOOST I

NEEDED TO LAUNCH MY OWN

BUSINESS.

I NOW HAVE MY OWN AND OPERATE MY

OWN DOGGY DAY CARE.

>> Mandersohn: HOW ABOUT THAT?!

A DOGGY DAY CARE!

AND HOW ABOUT YOU, DYNASTY?

WHAT DID YOUR SPACE LEMONADE

STAND TEACH YOU?

>> IT TAUGHT ME I CAN DO

ANYTHING I SET MY MIND TO.

IN FACT, I JUST PERFORMED AT THE

SUPER BOWL WITH MY SINGING

GROUP!

>> Mandersohn: OH.

HOW ABOUT THAT?

WHEN WE COME BACK, I'M GONNA

TEACH YOU HOW TO MAKE MONEY

USING SOMETHING EACH ONE OF US

ALREADY HAS -- OUR BODIES!

HEY, DYNASTY, HOW ABOUT TAKING

US OUT WITH A SONG?

>> I'D LOVE TO.

[ MID-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYS ]

>> HELLO.

I'M RANDALL'S WIFE, PAM.

RANDALL AND I DRINK

SPACE LEMONADE EVERY MEAL.

WE GIVE IT TO OUR CHILDREN,

TRIDENT AND GOSSAMER.

BUT IT'S SO EXPENSIVE BECAUSE IT

COMES FROM SPACE.

>> GUESS WHAT, PAM.

I'VE FIGURED OUT AWAY TO BRING

THE HIGH COST OF SPACE LEMONADE

BACK DOWN TO EARTH.

>> INTRODUCING RTM'S

SPACE LEMONADE.

RTM's SPACE LEMONADE IS THE BEST

SPACE LEMONADE BECAUSE OF ITS

NATURALISTIC BLUE COLOR AND THE

HYDRATING POWER OF WATER.

WELL, I'VE GOT TO GET BACK TO

WORK.

YOU STAY HOME AND TAKE CARE OF

THE KIDS.

[ APPLAUSE ]

WELCOME BACK TO "YOU'RE WHOLE."

WE'RE DEVOTING TODAY'S ENTIRE

EPISODE TO MAKING ALL THE MONEY

AND LOSING ALL THE WEIGHT.

AND OUR NEXT DVD WILL TEACH YOU

HOW TO DO BOTH OF THOSE

THINGS AT THE SAME TIME WITH...

OUR BODIES.

NOW, IF IT SOUNDS LIKE I'M

TALKING ABOUT HOOKING, I AM.

BUT NOT THE KIND OF HOOKING

YOU'RE THINKING OF.

I'M TALKING ABOUT DVD 14 --

"PRO BASS FISHING"!

[ LAUGHING ]

I HAD YOU FOR A SECOND,

DIDN'T I?

I'M OUT HERE ON THE LAKE WITH

PROFESSIONAL BASS FISHERMAN

LONNY DIBS.

LONNY, I LOVE TO GO FISHING.

I DO IT ALL THE TIME.

DO YOU HAVE ANY TIPS FOR ANGLERS

LIKE ME?

>> WELL, THE FIRST TIP IS TO

KEEP YOUR VOICE DOWN BECAUSE

FISH SCARE REAL EASY.

>> Mandersohn: THAT'S A GREAT

TIP, LONNY.

HEY, LONNY, FUNNY STORY -- MY

DAD USED TO TAKE ME FISHING.

>> OKAY.

>> Mandersohn: LONNY, I HEARD

THAT THE BIG MONEY IN FISHING

ACTUALLY COMES NOT FROM THE FISH

BUT FROM THE SPONSORS.

IS THAT TRUE?

>> WELL, I'LL TELL YOU --

>> Mandersohn: WHAT IF I TOLD

YOU THERE WAS A SPONSOR OUT

THERE THAT WOULD LOVE TO WORK

WITH YOU AND PAY ALL YOUR

EXPENSES FOR THE ENTIRE YEAR?

WHAT WOULD YOU SAY TO THAT?

>> I'D SAY, "HELL YES."

>> Mandersohn: OKAY.

NOW TAKE AWAY THE "PAY ALL YOUR

EXPENSES PART" AND YOU'VE GOT...

RTM's SPACE LEMONADE, THE

OFFICIAL SPACE LEMONADE...

OF LONNY DIBS?

>> UM...

>> Mandersohn: FISH LOVE IT.

>> FISH DON'T DRINK, MAN.

[ BOTH LAUGH ]

>> Mandersohn: LONNY DIBS IS

HERE WITH US NOW, AND HE'S GONNA

TEACH US HOW TO CATCH A BASS

JUST LIKE THE PROS. LONNY?

>> THE FIRST THING YOU NEED IS A

FISHING ROD, AND I SEE YOU'VE

ALL GOT ONE OF THOSE.

NOW, WHEN YOU CAST, YOU WANT TO

USE YOUR WRIST TO LET OUT THE

LINE --

>> Mandersohn: LIKE THIS, LONNY?

>> OW! MY EYE!

MY -- AAH! MY EYE!

MY EYE!

I WANT TO THANK LONNY DIBS FOR

TEACHING US HOW TO CATCH SOME

BASS.

THANKS, LONNY.

WHEN "YOU'RE WHOLE" RETURNS, I'M

GONNA HELP SOME REAL SMALL

BUSINESS OWNERS WITH THEIR REAL

SMALL BUSINESS PROBLEMS, AND I'M

GONNA DO IT WHILE BEING TOTALLY

BLIND.

>> HI. I'M PROFESSIONAL BASS

FISHERMAN LONNY DIBS.

WITH ITS OUT OF THIS WORLD

NATURALISTIC BLUE COLOR AND

AMAZING HYDRATING POWER OF

WATER, RTM's SPACE LEMONADE IS

MY SPACE LEMONADE OF CHOICE.

LOOKS LIKE I JUST CAUGHT A FISH.

[ APPLAUSE ]

>> Mandersohn: WE'RE BACK WITH

"YOU'RE WHOLE."

LET'S FACE IT -- SMALL

BUSINESSES ARE GOING THROUGH

TOUGH TIMES.

AT THE BEGINNING OF THE SHOW,

WE MET THREE SMALL BUSINESS

OWNERS WITH SOME BUSINESS

PROBLEMS.

OF COURSE, EACH BUSINESS IS

DIFFERENT, BUT THEY CAN ALL

BENEFIT FROM DVD 15 IN THE

"YOU'RE WHOLE" SYSTEM --

"CUPCAKES!!!"

>> OH, YEAH!

>> Mandersohn: CUPCAKES ARE THE

GREAT NEW SNACK FOOD THAT TASTES

GREAT AND MAKE FOLKS...

>> All: HAPPY!

>> Mandersohn: LET'S BRING OUT

OUR BUSINESSPEOPLE.

COME ON OUT, GUYS.

ALL RIGHT.

LET'S SEE IF I CAN FIX YOUR

BUSINESS PROBLEMS ONE AT A TIME

USING DVD 15 -- "CUPCAKES!!!"

TREVOR, YOU OWN A SKATEBOARD

SHOP.

>> THAT'S RIGHT.

>> Mandersohn: WHAT ABOUT

CUPCAKES?

>> WHAT ABOUT THEM?

>> Mandersohn: INSTEAD OF

SKATEBOARDS, YOU COULD SELL

CUPCAKES.

WHAT DO YOU SAY?

WILL, YOU'VE GOT A LUMBER YARD.

HOW ABOUT, INSTEAD OF LUMBER,

YOU SELL CUPCAKES?

AND, DONNA, WHO RUNS A BEAD

SHOP, I'VE GOT A SUGGESTION FOR

YOU, TOO.

>> CUPCAKES?

>> Mandersohn: NO, I'M AFRAID

CUPCAKES CAN'T SOLVE EVERY

BUSINESS PROBLEM.

YOUR BUSINESS IS GOING TO FAIL.

BUT I DO HAVE SOME GOOD NEWS FOR

YOU.

DONNA, TAKE A STEP FORWARD

WITH ME.

STEP ONTO THAT SCALE.

[ DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS ]

DONNA...

YOU JUST LOST ALL THE WEIGHT!

>> [ LAUGHS ]

[ APPLAUSE ]

>> Mandersohn: TO CELEBRATE,

I'VE INVITED ALL OUR GUESTS BACK

FOR AN INCREDIBLE CUPCAKE AND

BASS PARTY, HOSTED BY THE

AMAZING DYNASTY SAMMONS.

[ APPLAUSE ]

>> * YEAH, YEAH

OH.

>> Mandersohn: IS EVERYBODY

HAVING FUN?!

>> All: YEAH!

>> Mandersohn: HOW'RE THOSE

CUPCAKES?

[ ALL CHEERING ]

HOW ABOUT THAT FRESHWATER BASS?

[ ALL CHEERING ]

AND THE AMAZING DYNASTY SAMMONS!

>> YEAH.

>> Mandersohn: WELL, GUYS, WE'VE

HAD A GREAT TIME TODAY LEARNING

ALL ABOUT THE "HIGH COST" OF

"HIGH FINANCE."

BUT IF YOU CALL NOW, I'LL SEND

YOU ALL 27 DVDs IN THE

"YOU'RE WHOLE" SYSTEM FOR THE

LOW COST OF THREE PAYMENTS OF

$29.99.

YOU CAN NEVER HAVE TOO MUCH

MONEY, AND YOU CAN NEVER HAVE

TOO MANY DVDs.

AND IF YOU CALL NOW, I'LL EVEN

INCLUDE TWO 48-OUNCE CANISTERS

OF RTM's SPACE LEMONADE,

ENDORSED BY PROFESSIONAL

FISHERMAN LONNY DIBS...

>> HELL YEAH!

>> Mandersohn: ...AND MEDICAL

PATIENTS LIKE MY ORIENTAL WIFE,

PAM.

>> I DRINK SPACE LEMONADE.

I'M HAPPY.

>> Mandersohn: I'M

RANDALL TYREE MANDERSOHN.

LET ME FILL YOUR MONEY HOLE

WITH "YOU'RE WHOLE."

[ MID-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYS ]