Original subtitles

>> BILLS, BILLS, BILLS!

AND NOW THE CAR NEEDS A TUNE-UP?

I DON'T KNOW HOW WE'RE EVER

GOING TO GET OUT OF THIS MESS!

>> I'M ALREADY WORKING TWO JOBS.

>> AND I'M CARRYING A SURROGATE

BABY!

>> I FEEL HELPLESS.

>> I'M SO STRESSED OUT.

>> I WISH I HAD A FINGER PUPPET.

>> I WISH I COULD PLAY THE

SAXOPHONE.

>> I WISH I FELT...WHOLE.

>> Mandersohn: IT'S AN

INCREASINGLY COMMON SCENE ALL

OVER AMERICA.

"WHAT DO WE DO?"

"HOW DO WE FILL THIS...

EMPTINESS?"

I'M RANDALL TYREE MANDERSOHN --

AUTHOR, WRITER, LECTURER, PUBLIC

SPEAKER, ORATOR, WARRIOR-POET,

PHOTOGRAPHER OF ARTISTIC FEMALE

NUDES.

I CAN DO 25 PUSH-UPS IN A ROW OR

TWO SETS OF 15.

I CAN DO ANYTHING.

AND GUESS WHAT?

I'M TOTALLY BLIND.

I'M WHOLE.

YOU'RE WHOLE.

[ INSPIRATIONAL MUSIC PLAYS ]

[ LIGHT APPLAUSE ]

WELCOME TO "YOU'RE WHOLE," THE

EASIEST, MOST ECONOMICAL WAY TO

SOLVE YOUR PROBLEMS AND TAKE

YOUR LIFE TO THE NEXT LEVEL.

I'M RANDALL TYREE MANDERSOHN,

AND I'M SO EXCITED TO SHARE

WITH YOU MY LIFE'S WORK, A

27 DVD COLLECTION THAT WILL HAVE

YOU THINKING HARD, SWEATING

MORE, AND GETTING IT.

TODAY, WE'RE GONNA START WITH

DVD NUMBER 2: "FINGER PUPPETS."

FINGER PUPPETS ARE A GREAT WAY

TO SPEAK YOUR MIND WITH YOUR

FINGERS.

I'VE GOT A FRIEND NAMED JENNY

WHO TAUGHT ME HOW TO FINGER, AND

NOW SHE'S GONNA TEACH YOU.

HI, JENNY.

>> RANDALL, YOU'RE RUDE.

>> Mandersohn: AM I?

>> YES.

YOU SAID HI TO ME, BUT YOU

FORGOT TO SAY HELLO TO NELLIE.

>> Mandersohn: [ CHUCKLES ]

>> [ Deep voice ] HEY, RANDALL.

>> Mandersohn: HEY, NELLIE.

>> I GUESS "HEY" REALLY IS FOR

HORSES, HUH?

[ BOTH LAUGH ]

>> Mandersohn: THAT'S AMAZING!

IT'S LIKE I'M ACTUALLY TALKING

TO NELLIE!

>> [ Normal voice ] FINGER

PUPPETS HELP US SAY THE THINGS

WE DON'T ALWAYS HAVE THE WORDS

FOR.

[ Deep voice ] HEY, RANDALL, YOU

LOOK LIKE YOU PUT ON A LITTLE

WEIGHT.

>> Mandersohn: [ CHUCKLES

SLIGHTLY ]

>> MUST BE ALL THOSE DOLLAR

BUFFETS YOU'RE BUYING WITH THAT

$25,000-A-YEAR PAYCHECK OF

YOURS.

[ CHUCKLES ]

I BET YOU DON'T HAVE ANY

FRIENDS.

[ LAUGHS ]

[ Normal voice ] I'M SORRY.

NELLIE REALLY MAKES ME LAUGH.

>> Mandersohn: ME, TOO.

THAT WAS GREAT.

NOW I'D LIKE TO DO SOME FINGER

PUPPET ROLE PLAYING WITH A

MEMBER OF OUR STUDIO AUDIENCE.

HOW ABOUT YOU?

I WANT YOU TO THINK ABOUT A

SITUATION THAT MIGHT BE KIND OF

DIFFICULT TO TALK ABOUT.

>> ASKING FOR A RAISE?

>> Mandersohn: ASKING FOR A

RAISE.

WHAT DO WE THINK, AUDIENCE?

SO, FOR THIS SCENARIO, LET'S

PRETEND THAT I'M YOUR BOSS, AND

YOU'RE GONNA WALK INTO MY OFFICE

AND ASK FOR A RAISE.

SO I'M JUST GONNA SIT HERE IN

THIS CHAIR AND PRETEND THAT I'M

[ Deep voice ] THE BIG BOSS.

[ CHUCKLES ]

WILLIAM, YOU WANTED TO SEE ME?

>> YES, SIR. I JUST --

>> Mandersohn: [ MUTTERS

MOCKINGLY ]

>> YES, SIR. I --

>> Mandersohn: [ BABBLES ]

I DON'T HAVE TIME FOR THIS.

YOU'RE FIRED.

NO! WILLIAM.

WILLIAM, IT'S OKAY.

WE WERE JUST ROLE PLAYING.

[ CHUCKLES ]

YOU'RE NOT REALLY FIRED.

I WANT TO TRY THAT SCENARIO

AGAIN BUT IN A SLIGHTLY

DIFFERENT WAY.

WILLIAM, YOU WANTED TO SEE ME?

>> YES, SIR.

MY FRIEND RICKY THE ZEBRA HAS A

QUESTION FOR YOU.

[ High-pitched ] WILLIAM HAS

BEEN WORKING REAL HARD.

I THINK HE DESERVES A RAISE!

>> Mandersohn: WILLIAM,

ORDINARILY, I'D TELL YOU TO GO

STICK IT IN YOUR EYE.

BUT I ADMIRE YOUR CREATIVITY.

YOU'VE GOT THAT RAISE, AND A NEW

PARKING SPOT -- RIGHT NEXT TO

MINE.

WAY TO GO, WILLIAM. GREAT JOB.

GO HAVE A SEAT.

LEAVE THE PUPPET.

DO YOU SEE WHAT A LITTLE

IMAGINATION AND A TOUCH OF

WHIMSY CAN DO?

A LOT.

WHEN "YOU'RE WHOLE" RETURNS,

I'M GONNA TEACH YOU SOME THINGS

ABOUT THE SAXOPHONE THAT WILL

BLOW YOUR MIND.

>> HEY, BOB.

>> HI, DAN.

>> EVERYTHING OKAY?

>> OH, I GUESS I'M A LITTLE

HOMESICK FOR EARTH.

>> Mandersohn: HI, GUYS.

>> RANDALL TYREE MANDERSOHN.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

>> Mandersohn: BOB, I HEARD

YOU WERE FEELING DEPRESSED, AND

I WANTED TO BRING YOU THIS.

>> THANKS, RANDALL.

"YOU'RE WHOLE" REALLY HELPED ME

OUT.

NOW IF I COULD JUST FIGURE OUT

HOW HE MATERIALIZES LIKE THAT.

[ BOTH LAUGH ]

>> Mandersohn: [ LAUGHS ]

[ SOFT JAZZ PLAYING ]

MM.

THEY SAY MUSIC SOOTHES THE

SAVAGE SOUL.

BUT IT ALSO SOOTHES THE SAVAGE

WHOLE -- YOUR WHOLE.

NOW WE'RE GONNA FOCUS ON ONE OF

MY FAVORITE DVDs IN THE

"YOU'RE WHOLE" SYSTEM.

IT'S DVD 16 -- "SAXOPHONE.

JOINING ME NOW IS "YOU'RE WHOLE"

GRADUATE AND SAX LEGEND

BLISS WASHINGTON.

THANKS FOR BEING HERE, BLISS.

>> THANK YOU, RANDALL.

>> Mandersohn: THANK ME?

BUT WHY?

>> WELL, RANDALL, TWO YEARS AGO,

I WAS WORKING IN A CELLPHONE

STORE.

I WAS 100 POUNDS OVERWEIGHT, AND

I COULDN'T PLAY A MUSICAL

INSTRUMENT.

THEN I PURCHASED THE

"YOU'RE WHOLE" SYSTEM, AND NOW

I'M ONE OF TOP JAZZ SAXOPHONISTS

IN THE WORLD.

AND I'VE NEVER LOOKED OR SOUNDED

BETTER.

>> Mandersohn: WOW.

WILL YOU PLAY SOMETHING FOR US?

>> UH, THAT'S OKAY.

>> Mandersohn: GREAT.

THAT BLACK GUY WAS DYNAMITE.

NOW, I CAN'T TEACH YOU ALL TO

PLAY THE SAXOPHONE RIGHT NOW,

BUT I CAN GIVE YOU THE FIRST

LESSON.

WOULD YOU LIKE THAT?

THE FIRST LESSON IS CALLED

"RHYTHM."

WHAT'S RHYTHM?

RHYTHM IS THE BEAT.

LISTEN.

YOU HEAR THAT?

THAT'S RHYTHM.

ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR.

SNAP ALONG WITH ME.

TWO, THREE, FOUR.

YOU GOT IT.

ONE, TWO, THREE.

THAT'S JAZZ.

THAT COMES FROM THE SOUL.

[ SCATTING ]

TWO, THREE.

NOW YOU'RE GETTING IT!

[ CONTINUES SCATTING ]

CHANGE IT UP!

ONE, TWO -- IN LAZY CIRCLES.

AND ONE, TWO, DOWN ON THE BAYOU.

ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR.

OLD McDONALD HAD A FARM.

E-I-E-I-O.

[ LAUGHTER ]

THAT'S RHYTHM, YOU GUYS.

THAT'S RHYTHM.

AND REMEMBER, I'M TOTALLY BLIND.

YEAH?

>> RANDALL, HOW LONG WILL IT

TAKE BEFORE I CAN PLAY THE SAX?

>> Mandersohn: HOW DOES

10 MINUTES SOUND?

>> 10 MINUTES?

>> Mandersohn: WHEN WE RETURN,

YOU'LL SEE THE RESULTS OF OUR

10-MINUTE SAX LESSON.

[ CHUCKLES ]

[ SCATTING ]

>> HEY, MOM?

CAN YOU CUT MY TOMATO INTO A

STAR SHAPE?

>> SURE, SWEETIE.

>> TIRED OF TRYING TO CUT TOMATO

SLICES INTO STAR SHAPES?

RANDALL TYREE MANDERSOHN HAS

SOLVED THE PROBLEM ONCE AND FOR

ALL WITH THE STARMATO!

THE STARMATO MAKES PERFECT

STAR-SHAPED TOMATO SLICES EVERY

TIME.

>> THANKS, STARMATO.

AND THANK YOU, RANDALL.

>> Mandersohn: WE'RE BACK.

TIM AND I JUST FINISHED OUR

FIRST 10-MINUTE SAXOPHONE

LESSON, AND THEN HE PLAYED AN

IMPROMPTU JAZZ CONCERT.

DIDN'T HE SOUND GREAT?

NOW FOR THE MOST IMPORTANT PART.

TIM, STEP ON THE SCALE.

AND LOOK AT THAT.

YOU'VE ALSO LOST 3 POUNDS!

[ LAUGHS ]

HAVE A SEAT, AND KEEP THE SAX.

[ AUDIENCE GASPS ]

WE'VE HAD A LOT OF FUN HERE

TODAY SO FAR, FINGERING PUPPETS

AND SAXOPHONES.

BUT I'VE SAVED THE BEST FOR

LAST.

IT'S DVD 22 -- "FISH TANK."

IN THIS DVD, I'LL TEACH YOU ALL

ABOUT THIS INCREDIBLE AQUATIC

KINGDOM, FROM CHOOSING THE RIGHT

FISH TO CHOOSING THE RIGHT TANK.

LET'S TAKE A LOOK AT A CLIP.

HEY, LOOK OVER THERE.

IT'S FAMOUS ACTOR AND

"YOU'RE WHOLE" GRADUATE

DONNY VAN CLEEF.

>> HI, RANDALL.

>> Mandersohn: DONNY, YOU'RE SO

GOOD ON THAT SHOW YOU'RE ON.

>> I HAVE YOU TO THANK FOR THAT.

>> Mandersohn: ME?

>> I STRUGGLED FOR YEARS BEFORE

MAKING IT AS A HOLLYWOOD ACTOR.

I WAS AT MY ROPE'S END.

JUST BEFORE GETTING BACK ON THE

BUS TO MISSOURI, I SAW A

COMMERCIAL FOR THE

"YOU'RE WHOLE" PROGRAM.

NOW I'M FAMOUS!

>> Mandersohn: WHAT AN INSPIRING

STORY.

SO THERE YOU HAVE IT, GUYS.

FINGER PUPPETS, SAXOPHONE, FISH

TANK.

JUST 3 OF THE 27 DVDS YOU'LL GET

WHEN YOU ORDER THE

"YOU'RE WHOLE" COLLECTION.

SIMILAR SYSTEMS SELL FOR

THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS.

BUT YOU CAN GET "YOU'RE WHOLE"

FOR JUST THREE PAYMENTS OF

$29.99.

>> THAT'S AN INCREDIBLE DEAL!

>> CAN YOU AFFORD TO SELL YOUR

LIFE'S WORK AT THAT PRICE,

RANDALL?

>> Mandersohn: MAYBE NOT.

BUT MY JOB ISN'T TO MAKE MONEY.

MY JOB IS TO FILL YOUR HOLE WITH

"YOU'RE WHOLE."

AND I'LL ALSO INCLUDE THE

STARMATO.

AND I'M TOTALLY BLIND.

THANK YOU.

IT'S ASTRONAUT BOB!

>> I JUST WANTED TO LET EVERYONE

KNOW THAT "YOU'RE WHOLE" IS OUT

OF THIS WORLD!

[ LAUGHTER ]

>> THANKS, BOB!

[ LAUGHTER CONTINUES ]

[ SOFT JAZZ PLAYING ]