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>> I'M NOT ENOUGH.
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>> LIFE CONFUSES ME.
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>> HOW DO I LEARN THE SECRETS OF
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ORIENTAL PEOPLE?
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>> I WANT TO PLAY INTRAMURAL
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VOLLEYBALL.
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>> I WISH I HAD A JUICER.
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>> I WISH I WAS WHOLE.
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>> All: I WISH I WAS WHOLE.
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>> Mandersohn: I'M RANDALL TYREE
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MANDERSOHN -- AUTHOR, LECTURER,
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EXERCISE MAN, CRAFTSPERSON,
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THREE-STAR CHEF, FOLLOWER OF ALL
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RELIGIONS, STUDENT OF ORIENTALS,
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PLAYER OF INTRAMURAL VOLLEYBALL.
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I'LL GO ANYWHERE, TASTE
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ANYTHING, DO ANYONE.
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AND I DO ALL OF IT WHILE BEING
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TOTALLY BLIND.
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I'M WHOLE.
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YOU'RE WHOLE.
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[ INSPIRATIONAL MUSIC PLAYS ]
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[ APPLAUSE ]
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THANK YOU.
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AND WELCOME TO "YOU'RE WHOLE."
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I'M RANDALL TYREE MANDERSOHN,
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AND TODAY I'M GONNA TEACH YOU MY
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REVOLUTIONARY SYSTEM, THE SAME
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SYSTEM USED BY ROCK CLIMBERS,
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PROFESSIONAL PEOPLE, AND FORMER
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OLYMPIC GYMNAST ALTERNATE
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ASHLEY WILTS-HIGGS.
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I AM SO EXCITED ABOUT
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"YOU'RE WHOLE," AND I DON'T WANT
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TO WASTE ANOTHER SECOND, SO
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LET'S GET TO IT.
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[ APPLAUSE ]
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HERE IT IS, MY LIFE'S WORK ON 27
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DVDs.
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JUST IMAGINE -- 27 DVDS THAT
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WILL TRANSFORM THE WAY YOU LIVE,
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THE WAY YOU DO LAUNDRY, EVEN THE
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WAY YOU TIE SAILOR KNOTS.
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LET'S START AT THE BEGINNING
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WITH DVD 1, "NUTRITION."
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DON'T THINK IT CAN WORK?
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LET'S LISTEN TO WENDY'S STORY.
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>> I WAS HEAVY MY WHOLE LIFE.
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NOTHING WORKED.
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BUT THEN I PUT "YOU'RE WHOLE" IN
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MY MOUTH, AND LOOK AT ME NOW!
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[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
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>> Mandersohn: WOW!
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WENDY, AS YOU KNOW, I'M TOTALLY
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BLIND, BUT I HAVE TO SAY, YOU
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LOOK GREAT!
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HOW DID YOU DO IT?
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>> THREE LETTERS -- SPC.
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[ AUDIENCE MURMURING ]
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>> Mandersohn: I SEE SOME
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CONFUSED FACES OUT THERE, SO LET
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ME EXPLAIN.
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SPC IS THE HEART...AND STOMACH
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OF MY PATENT-PENDING NUTRITION
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PLAN.
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SPC...
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SMOOTHIES...
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PUMPKINS...
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COOKIES.
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[ APPLAUSE ]
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EACH DAY DURING THE WEEK, YOU'LL
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ALTERNATE BETWEEN SMOOTHIES,
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PUMPKINS, AND COOKIES.
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DAY SEVEN IS YOUR TOILET DAY,
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AND THEN YOU START ALL OVER
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AGAIN.
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NOW, HOW DOES THAT SOUND?
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>> YEAH!
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>> Mandersohn: DAY ONE IS
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SMOOTHIES.
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I LIKE MINE WITH STRAWBERRIES,
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MANGOES, KALE, DICED CHICKEN,
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VANILLA, YOGURT, AND PLENTY OF
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ASPARTAME.
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DAY TWO IS PUMPKINS.
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YOU'RE GONNA EAT NOTHING BUT
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PUMPKINS, AND I'M GONNA TEACH
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YOU HOW TO CARVE A PUMPKIN,
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COOK A PUMPKIN, AND EAT A
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PUMPKIN.
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PLUS ALL MY SECRET RECIPES
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FOR...
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PLUS 25 MILLION MORE!
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[ APPLAUSE ]
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DAY THREE IS MY FAVORITE DAY.
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>> All: COOKIES!
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>> Mandersohn: COOKIES!
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>> All: COOKIES!
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>> Mandersohn: COOKIES!
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>> All: COOKIES!
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>> COOKIES!
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>> Mandersohn: AND THEN YOU
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SPEND DAY SEVEN ON THE TOILET.
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WHEN WE COME BACK, I'LL TEACH
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YOU SOME STARTLING SECRETS FROM
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A SURPRISING PLACE.
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>> "F," "F," "F"!
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THIS IS THE WORST REPORT CARD
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I HAVE EVER SEEN.
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I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE PROBLEM
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IS.
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>> I'M JUST STUPID!
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I'LL ALWAYS BE STUPID!
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>> [ Thinking ] MAYBE HE IS
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STUPID.
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>> Mandersohn: HI, FRIEND.
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>> RANDALL TYREE MANDERSOHN?
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WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
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>> Mandersohn: I HEARD ABOUT
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YOUR PROBLEM WITH ISAAC.
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I'D LIKE TO GIVE HIM
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"YOU'RE WHOLE."
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>> BUT I THOUGHT THAT WAS JUST
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FOR ADULTS.
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>> Mandersohn: "YOU'RE WHOLE" IS
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FOR EVERYBODY.
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I RECOMMEND DVD 7,
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"MAKING THE GRADE."
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>> THANKS.
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I'LL GIVE IT A TRY.
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"A," "A," "A"!
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THIS IS THE BEST REPORT CARD
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I'VE EVER SEEN.
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THANK YOU, RANDALL!
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>> THANKS, MR. MANDERSOHN.
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>> Mandersohn: YOU GOT IT.
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[ APPLAUSE ]
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THANKS. WE'RE BACK.
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NOW IT'S TIME TO TALK ABOUT
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DVD 14 IN THE "YOU'RE WHOLE"
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SERIES, "SECRETS OF THE
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ORIENTALS."
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ORIENTALS ARE SOME OF THE
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STRANGEST, MOST INSCRUTABLE
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PEOPLE ON EARTH.
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ANY CULTURE THAT CAME UP WITH
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EATING RAW FISH HAS GOT TO BE A
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LITTLE STRANGE.
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AM I RIGHT?
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[ SCATTERED CHUCKLES ]
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I'VE MET SOME GREAT ORIENTALS
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IN MY TRAVELS, ALTHOUGH I
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COULDN'T ALWAYS TELL THEM APART.
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[ SCATTERED CHUCKLES ]
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BUT AFTER YEARS OF STUDYING
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THEM, I'VE FINALLY UNLOCKED ALL
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THEIR SECRETS.
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SECRET NUMBER ONE -- ORIENTAL
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MASSAGE.
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ORIENTALS LOVE TO GIVE MASSAGES
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BECAUSE IT'S THEIR NATURE TO
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SERVE.
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THANKS, HANNAH.
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I'LL TAKE OVER FROM HERE.
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I'LL TEACH YOU ALL THE ANCIENT
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CHINESE SECRETS -- PRESSURE
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POINTS, BABY OIL, WORKING THE
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BUTTOCKS, AND SO MUCH MORE.
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NOTICE HOW I'M REALLY GETTING
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IN THE BUTTOCKS.
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HOW DOES THAT FEEL, BARBARA?
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>> MM.
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THANKS, RANDALL.
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[ APPLAUSE ]
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>> Mandersohn: IN THE SECOND
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HALF OF "SECRETS OF THE
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ORIENTALS," I'LL SHARE WITH YOU
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OVER 60 MINUTES OF
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ORIENTAL-STYLE MUSIC I WROTE TO
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HELP YOU ON YOUR JOURNEY.
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THIS ONE'S CALLED
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"YOU CAN DO IT ALL WITH YOU."
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* YOU CAN DO IT ALL WITH YOU
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* JUST YOU AND YOU AND YOU
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* WHATCHA DO WITH YOU WHEN YOU
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DO THE THING YOU DO WITH YOU *
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* AND YOU'RE WHOLE
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* AND ME
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DID YOU LIKE THOSE?
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>> YEAH!
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>> Mandersohn: THANKS.
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THE FINAL HALF OF THE
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"SECRETS OF THE ORIENTALS" DVD
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IS A WORKSHEET I DEVELOPED WITH
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AN ACTUAL ORIENTAL KID.
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LET'S MEET HIM NOW.
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COME ON OUT HERE, TRON.
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THIS IS THE KID.
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WHEN WE COME BACK, WE'LL GET
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EVEN DEEPER INTO "YOU'RE WHOLE."
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PLUS, A VERY SPECIAL OFFER.
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>> [ Thinking ] I HAVEN'T MADE
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LOVE TO MY WIFE IN WEEKS.
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>> [ Thinking ] WHY WON'T HE
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INITIATE INTIMACY?
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>> SHE'LL PROBABLY JUST SAY NO.
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>> HE PROBABLY ISN'T ATTRACTED
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TO ME ANYMORE.
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>> Mandersohn: PUMPKIN NUGGETS,
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ANYONE?
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>> RANDALL TYREE MANDERSOHN?
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WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
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>> Mandersohn: HI, FRIEND.
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I HEARD ABOUT YOUR SEXUAL
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PROBLEMS, AND I THOUGHT I COULD
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HELP BY SHOWING YOU
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"YOU'RE WHOLE."
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>> "YOU'RE WHOLE" CAN HELP US BE
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INTIMATE?
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>> Mandersohn: YOU BET IT CAN.
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LET ME SHOW YOU HOW.
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>> THAT WAS GREAT LOVEMAKING.
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>> IT SURE WAS.
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"YOU'RE WHOLE" TAUGHT ME A LOT
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TONIGHT.
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[ APPLAUSE ]
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>> Mandersohn: WE'RE BACK.
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NOW IT'S TIME TO TALK ABOUT MY
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FAVORITE DVD IN THE
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"YOU'RE WHOLE" SERIES BECAUSE IT
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BRINGS TOGETHER EVERYTHING WE'VE
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LEARNED.
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IT'S DVD 27, "INTRAMURAL
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VOLLEYBALL."
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[ APPLAUSE ]
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INTRAMURAL VOLLEYBALL IS A LOT
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OF FUN.
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AND JUST LIKE IN LIFE, IN
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INTRAMURAL VOLLEYBALL, IT'S NOT
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THE RESULTS THAT MATTER, IT'S
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THE "NET" RESULTS.
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>> [ CHUCKLES ]
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>> Mandersohn: IN THIS EXCLUSIVE
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DVD, I'LL TEACH YOU THE RULES OF
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INTRAMURAL VOLLEYBALL, BASIC
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INTRAMURAL VOLLEYBALL
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STRATEGIES, EVEN HOW TO SET UP
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AN INTRAMURAL VOLLEYBALL NET.
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PLUS, I'LL UNVEIL A BRAND-NEW
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ORIENTAL-STYLE SONG I WROTE
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ENTITLED "INTRAMURAL VOLLEYBALL
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WITH YOU."
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WHILE YOU'RE ENJOYING THAT,
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I'M GONNA PLAY SOME MORE
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INTRAMURAL VOLLEYBALL.
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* INTRAMURAL VOLLEYBALL
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* OH, WAY
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* OH, WAY, OH, WAY
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* IT'S LIKE A SPORTS
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EARTHQUAKE *
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* OH, WAY
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* OH, WAY, OH...
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[ APPLAUSE ]
264
00:08:05,686 --> 00:08:06,716
THANKS.
265
00:08:06,720 --> 00:08:08,120
NOW I'D LIKE TO BRING OUT OUR
266
00:08:08,121 --> 00:08:08,921
SPECIAL GUEST.
267
00:08:08,922 --> 00:08:10,122
SHE'S A GRADUATE OF THE
268
00:08:10,123 --> 00:08:11,563
"YOU'RE WHOLE" PROGRAM AND A
269
00:08:11,559 --> 00:08:14,629
1988 OLYMPIC GYMNAST ALTERNATE.
270
00:08:14,628 --> 00:08:15,698
PLEASE WELCOME
271
00:08:15,696 --> 00:08:17,126
ASHLEY WILTS-HIGGS.
272
00:08:17,130 --> 00:08:18,470
[ APPLAUSE ]
273
00:08:18,465 --> 00:08:19,865
HI, ASHLEY.
274
00:08:19,867 --> 00:08:21,127
>> GREAT TO BE HERE, RANDALL.
275
00:08:21,134 --> 00:08:22,444
>> Mandersohn: ASHLEY, HAVE YOU
276
00:08:22,435 --> 00:08:23,435
EVER PLAYED INTRAMURAL
277
00:08:23,436 --> 00:08:24,036
VOLLEYBALL?
278
00:08:24,037 --> 00:08:24,907
>> ARE YOU KIDDING?
279
00:08:24,905 --> 00:08:25,805
IT'S THE KEY TO THE
280
00:08:25,806 --> 00:08:26,866
"YOU'RE WHOLE" SYSTEM.
281
00:08:26,874 --> 00:08:28,084
>> Mandersohn: I CALL IT A
282
00:08:28,075 --> 00:08:28,975
SPORTS EARTHQUAKE.
283
00:08:28,976 --> 00:08:30,406
>> I JUST CALL IT A WHOLE LOT OF
284
00:08:30,410 --> 00:08:31,210
FUN!
285
00:08:31,211 --> 00:08:32,081
[ BOTH CHUCKLE ]
286
00:08:32,079 --> 00:08:33,879
>> RANDALL, I LIKE PLAYING
287
00:08:33,881 --> 00:08:34,721
SOFTBALL.
288
00:08:34,715 --> 00:08:37,215
CAN I SUBSTITUTE SOFTBALL FOR
289
00:08:37,217 --> 00:08:37,887
VOLLEYBALL?
290
00:08:37,885 --> 00:08:39,385
>> Mandersohn: GREAT QUESTION,
291
00:08:39,386 --> 00:08:40,046
TIM.
292
00:08:40,053 --> 00:08:40,723
NO.
293
00:08:40,721 --> 00:08:41,321
>> THANKS!
294
00:08:41,321 --> 00:08:42,761
>> Mandersohn: ASHLEY, ARE YOU
295
00:08:42,756 --> 00:08:44,156
READY TO PLAY SOME INTRAMURAL
296
00:08:44,157 --> 00:08:44,787
VOLLEYBALL?
297
00:08:44,792 --> 00:08:46,232
>> AS READY AS I WAS TO BE AN
298
00:08:46,226 --> 00:08:47,956
ALTERNATE ON THE 1988
299
00:08:47,961 --> 00:08:50,361
U.S. OLYMPIC GYMNASTICS TEAM!
300
00:08:55,335 --> 00:08:57,135
[ APPLAUSE ]
301
00:08:57,137 --> 00:08:59,237
>> Mandersohn: SO, GUYS, I HAVE
302
00:08:59,239 --> 00:09:01,309
TO ASK, HOW MUCH WOULD YOU PAY
303
00:09:01,308 --> 00:09:03,578
TO FEEL BETTER, LOOK BETTER, GET
304
00:09:03,577 --> 00:09:05,177
ALL OF THAT INCREDIBLE
305
00:09:05,178 --> 00:09:07,278
ORIENTAL-STYLE MUSIC, AND LEARN
306
00:09:07,280 --> 00:09:09,250
TO PLAY INTRAMURAL VOLLEYBALL?
307
00:09:09,249 --> 00:09:09,949
>> $5,000?
308
00:09:09,950 --> 00:09:11,590
>> Mandersohn: WHAT IF I TOLD
309
00:09:11,585 --> 00:09:13,085
YOU YOU COULD PURCHASE THE
310
00:09:13,086 --> 00:09:14,916
ENTIRE "YOU'RE WHOLE" DVD SERIES
311
00:09:14,922 --> 00:09:19,762
FOR 3 EASY PAYMENTS OF $29.99?
312
00:09:19,760 --> 00:09:20,630
[ APPLAUSE ]
313
00:09:20,628 --> 00:09:22,298
BUT REMEMBER I TALKED TO YOU
314
00:09:22,295 --> 00:09:23,825
GUYS ABOUT A VERY SPECIAL
315
00:09:23,831 --> 00:09:24,431
OFFER?
316
00:09:24,431 --> 00:09:25,631
THEY JUST CAME IN FROM THE
317
00:09:25,633 --> 00:09:26,933
FACTORY, AND I'VE NEVER BEEN
318
00:09:26,934 --> 00:09:27,644
MORE EXCITED.
319
00:09:27,635 --> 00:09:29,195
IT'S THE AUTOGRAPHED
320
00:09:29,202 --> 00:09:31,712
RANDALL TYREE MANDERSOHN
321
00:09:31,705 --> 00:09:33,605
INTRAMURAL VOLLEYBALL, AND I'M
322
00:09:33,607 --> 00:09:36,537
GOING TO INCLUDE IT ABSOLUTELY
323
00:09:36,543 --> 00:09:37,443
FREE!
324
00:09:37,444 --> 00:09:38,154
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
325
00:09:38,145 --> 00:09:39,675
>> I WANT TO [BLEEP] YOU BLIND,
326
00:09:39,680 --> 00:09:40,280
RANDALL!
327
00:09:40,280 --> 00:09:41,480
>> Mandersohn: THAT'S OKAY!
328
00:09:41,481 --> 00:09:43,621
I'M ALREADY BLIND!
329
00:09:43,617 --> 00:09:47,217
THAT'S THE DVDS, THE JUICER, THE
330
00:09:47,220 --> 00:09:50,320
VOLLEYBALL, SMOOTHIES, PUMPKINS,
331
00:09:50,323 --> 00:09:53,633
COOKIES, ORIENTAL-STYLE MUSIC,
332
00:09:53,627 --> 00:09:56,497
WHISTLING, PHONE CALLS, LEARNING
333
00:09:56,496 --> 00:09:59,366
HOW TO MAKE MARSHMALLOWS, GLASS
334
00:09:59,366 --> 00:10:02,236
BLOWING, POPCORN POPPING,
335
00:10:02,235 --> 00:10:03,835
EVERYTHING YOU EVER WANTED TO
336
00:10:03,837 --> 00:10:06,207
KNOW ABOUT OTTERS, LEARNING HOW
337
00:10:06,206 --> 00:10:08,306
TO READ HEBREW, AND --
338
00:10:08,308 --> 00:10:10,478
[BLEEP]
339
00:10:10,477 --> 00:10:12,477
GET THE [BLEEP] OFF ME!
340
00:10:12,479 --> 00:10:14,719
GET THE [BLEEP] OFF ME!
341
00:10:14,715 --> 00:10:17,115
GET THE [BLEEP] OFF ME! AAAH!
342
00:10:19,853 --> 00:10:22,193
>> I AM ENOUGH.
343
00:10:22,189 --> 00:10:23,889
I AM WHOLE.
344
00:10:23,891 --> 00:10:25,591
>> LIFE NO LONGER CONFUSES ME.
345
00:10:25,592 --> 00:10:26,162
I'M WHOLE.
346
00:10:26,159 --> 00:10:27,359
>> NOW I KNOW THE SECRETS OF
347
00:10:27,360 --> 00:10:28,160
ORIENTAL PEOPLE.
348
00:10:28,161 --> 00:10:28,761
I'M WHOLE.
349
00:10:28,762 --> 00:10:30,102
>> INTRAMURAL VOLLEYBALL IS
350
00:10:30,097 --> 00:10:30,557
GREAT.
351
00:10:30,563 --> 00:10:31,203
I'M WHOLE.
352
00:10:31,198 --> 00:10:32,898
>> NOW I HAVE A JUICER.
353
00:10:32,900 --> 00:10:33,400
I'M WHOLE.
354
00:10:33,400 --> 00:10:36,270
>> All: I'M WHOLE.
355
00:10:36,269 --> 00:10:37,599
>> Mandersohn: I'M RANDALL TYREE
356
00:10:37,604 --> 00:10:38,174
MANDERSOHN.
357
00:10:38,171 --> 00:10:40,671
YOU'RE WHOLE.
358
00:10:47,380 --> 00:10:50,520
* I BELIEVE IN THE POWER OF
359
00:10:50,517 --> 00:10:51,577
YOU *
360
00:10:51,584 --> 00:10:54,024
* TO DO THE SPECIAL THINGS THAT
361
00:10:54,021 --> 00:10:55,361
YOU DO *
362
00:10:55,355 --> 00:10:57,785
* WITH ALL THE SPECIAL POWERS
363
00:10:57,791 --> 00:11:02,261
YOU HAVE IN YOU *
364
00:11:02,262 --> 00:11:04,232
* AND ME
22429
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