Original subtitles

TOSH.O IS INTENDED FOR MATURE

AUDIENCES.

COMEDY CENTRAL DOES NOT CONDONE

THE ACTIVITIES PERFORMED AND

DISCOURAGINGS ANYONE FROM

ATTEMPTING THEM.

ENJOY.

[ MUSIC ]

YOU SUNK MY LIFEBOAT!

STILL NOT AS BIG A BOMB

AS THAT HORRIBLE BATTLESHIP

MOVIE.

NOW AVAILABLE ON BLU RAY/DVD

COMBO PACK.

WELCOME TO TOSH.0.

TONIGHT'S OVER-PRICED CONCERT

TEE WITH SEXY STUBBLE FEATURES.

TEGAN AND SARA.

THAT'S TEGAN, THAT'S SARA.

HERE'S THE SONG "NINETEEN" FROM

MY FAVORITE ALBUM OF THEIRS, THE

CON.

"AND WHEN I LAY BESIDE YOU.".

IT HARDLY SEEMS POSSIBLE, BUT

SOMEHOW THOSE LESBIAN TWIN

SISTERS FROM CANADA ARE ABLE TO

CAPTURE EVERY SINGLE EMOTION

I'VE EVER FELT.

TONIGHT ON THE SHOW.

WE REDEEM THIS LITTLE SWEET

FIRECRACKER.

I TEACH YOU THE RIGHT WAY TO

CONFRONT YOUR UNCLE.

AND WE SEE YOU DO SOME SHOTS!

SHOTS!

SHOTS!

SHOTS!

SHOTS!

SHOTS! HOW DOES THAT SONG GO?

I DON'T LIKE THAT GROUP AT ALL.

NOW, LET'S WATCH THESE GUYS SAVE

SOME MONEY ON BAIT.

MARK SANCHEZ WOULD STILL BE

HOLDING THE GRENADE.

MMM, THESE CRAB CAKES ARE

DELICIOUS.

WHAT'S YOUR SECRET?

SHRAPNEL.

STILL A BETTER IDEA THAN HAVING

SETH MACFARLANE HOST THE OSCARS.

HEY, YOU KNOW ON THE VOICE WHEN

THEY TURN AROUND AND THE PERSON

LOOKS COMPLETELY DIFFERENT FROM

WHAT THEY IMAGINED?

>> ALL RIGHT.

SHOW IT.

VERY CONVINCING PIG.

NOW LET'S PUT 20 SECONDS ON THE

CLOCK AND SEE HOW MANY FUNNY

COMMENTS WE CAN MAKE.

NICE TO SEE JESSICA SIMPSON BACK

TO WORK.

AH, THE FEMALE ORGASM IS A

BEAUTIFUL AND MYSTERIOUS THING.

IT'S LIKE SHE'S CALLING TO THE

HOG.

IN MY PANTS.

ALRIGHT, SHOW SOME RESPECT.

THAT'S ALABAMA'S STATE SONG.

I'D RATHER WATCH HER HOST THE

OSCARS THAN SETH MACFARLANE.

AH.

I HAD FOUR MORE SETH MACFARLANE

JOKES.

GONNA SAVE 'EM.

THIS NEXT ONE'S ON YOU FOR NOT

HAVING ANY UPPER BODY STRENGTH.

>> THERE YOU GO.

3-2-1.

OH, MY GOD.

HIS EAR BUDS ARE IN SO MAYBE HE

DOESN'T KNOW HOW LOUD HE'S

DYING.

A TRUE FRIEND WOULD KICK HIM IN

THE NUTS RIGHT NOW.

>> OH, MY GOD.

I'M SO DIZZY.

NO, NO, YOU'RE NOT DIZZY.

THAT'S JUST A SEVERE

CONCUSSION.

IT WILL STOP IN A FEW YEARS WHEN

YOU SHOOT YOURSELF IN THE CHEST.

JUST ASK YOUR MOM, GRAPE STOMP

LADY.

HERE'S A NICE CHANGE AFTER

WATCHING THE MIAMI DOLPHINS HAVE

A SEASON LONG ABORTION.

[ MUSIC ]

AT LEAST HER BLOWHOLE IS STILL

NICE AND TIGHT.

FOR AN EXTRA 10 DOLLARS YOU CAN

SWIM IN THE AFTERBIRTH ZONE.

LOOK AT ALL THE DOLPHIN STUFF

THEY CAN DO RIGHT AWAY.

GET IT TOGETHER, HUMAN BABIES.

AH.

THE TRIBE ATE WELL THAT NIGHT,

MY FRIENDS!

WANT TO SEE A COUPLE HUNDRED

ASIAN BOYS GO THROUGH PUBERTY AT

THE EXACT SAME MOMENT?

[ MUSIC ]

OKAY.

IF I KNOW ASIA LIKE I THINK I

KNOW ASIA, A COUPLE OF THOSE

CHICKS HAVE WIENERS.

DON'T GET TOO COCKY, LADIES.

THEY REACTED THE SAME WAY WHEN

APPLE MOVED THE HEADPHONE

JACK TO THE BOTTOM OF THE IPHONE

5.

IT'S GONNA BE A LONG NIGHT FOR

THE SCHOOL JANITOR.

A SURE-FIRE WAY TO CALM THOSE

KIDS DOWN IS TO HIRE SETH

MACFARLANE TO HOST THAT SHOW.

WHAT'S NEXT?

>> I'M TALKING WITH BILL WHO IS

WITH KILLACYCLE.

THE WORLD'S QUICKEST DRAG BIKE.

THEY'RE SAFER THAN ANYTHING ELSE

OUT THERE.

HE'S GOING TO DO A BURNOUT FOR

US.

MAN AND MACHINE IN PERFECT

HARMONY.

LET'S FIND OUT IF THE KILLACYCLE

LIVES UP TO ITS NAME IN THIS

WEEK'S BREAKDOWN.

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

I DON'T KNOW MUCH ABOUT

MOTORCYCLES, BUT A SIDEWALK

CANNOT BE THE BEST PLACE TO

BREAK THE LAND SPEED RECORD.

ALRIGHT.

NO PROTECTIVE LEATHER CLOTHING?

CHECK.

NO HELMET?

CHECK.

UNATHLETIC SCIENTIST?

CHECK.

WHAT COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG?

OH, GOT AWAY FROM HIM A LITTLE

THAT IS ONE TOUCHY THROTTLE.

FOR HIS SAKE I HOPE HE SHOT BACK

TO 1955.

BACK WHEN PEOPLE WOULD ACTUALLY

ENJOY A SETH MACFARLANE MUSICAL

NUMBER.

OKAY.

I CAN'T TELL IF THAT WAS THE

SOUND BARRIER OR HIS LEGS BEING

SHATTERED.

HE WOULD HAVE BEEN SAFER SITTING

IN THE ELECTRIC CHAIR.

THAT'S WHY IT'S NOT CALLED THE

TOTALLY-EASY-TORIDE-A-CYCLE.

THANK GOODNESS HE T-BONED A

PARKED CAR.

OTHERWISE, HE'D BE HALFWAY TO

SEATTLE BY NOW.

HEY, THAT REMINDS ME.

COMEDY CENTRAL ONCE BOUGHT

CARLOS MENCIA A CUSTOM CHOPPER

FOR OVER A HUNDRED AND FIFTY

GRAND.

THAT'S THE APPROPRIATE RESPONSE.

OH, WHAT A BLOW TO THE

SCIENTIFIC COMMUNITY.

MURDERED BY HIS OWN CREATION,

JUST LIKE DAVE THOMAS.

GOD DARN YOU, SOURDOUGH BACON

CHEESEBURGER!

YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT.

THAT'S ME WITH DAVE.

WE WERE LIKE THIS.

RELAX.

IF ANYONE HAD ACTUALLY DIED IN

THIS VIDEO FOX NEWS WOULD'VE

SHOWN IT FIRST.

NOW, LAY STILL FOR THE CHALK

OUTLINE.

OH, I'M SURE HE'D GIVE US A

THUMBS-UP IF HIS BRAIN COULD

STILL SEND SIGNALS TO HIS ARMS.

TOO BAD THERE ISN'T A MUCH

FASTER VEHICLE THAT COULD WHISK

HIM AWAY TO THE HOSPITAL.

JUST REMEMBER THAT HIS

EXPERIENCE IS NOT TYPICAL AND

MOST INVENTIONS ARE NOT

SUCCESSFUL.

AND FOR THAT, WE THANK YOU,

INVENT HELP.

WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK, BUT FIRST,

IT'S YOUR DICK OF THE WEEK.

[ LAUGHTER ]

>> BACK IN '96, YES.

WE WERE ALL JOKING AND WEARING

COMPLETELY SOGGY UNDERWEAR.

>> WELL, I WOKE UP TO GO GET ME

A COLD POP AND I THOUGHT

SOMEBODY WAS BARBECUING.

I SAID OH, LORD JESUS, IT'S A

FIRE, AND I RAN OUT.

I DIDN'T GRAB NO SHOES OR

NOTHING, JESUS.

I RAN FOR MY LIFE, AND THEN THE

SMOKE GOT ME.

I GOT BRONCHITIS.

AIN'T NOBODY GOT TIME FOR THAT.

HMM.

LET'S PRAY SHE DIDN'T LOSE HER

SECRET PANCAKE RECIPE IN THE

BLAZE.

THAT SURVIVOR IS SWEET BROWN,

AND THE KFOR NEWS TEAM STRUCK

BLACK GOLD WHEN THEY INTERVIEWED

HER ABOUT AN APARTMENT FIRE.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT FIRE IS MADE

OF.

HELL, NOBODY DOES.

ALL I KNOW IS THAT FIRE IS

AWESOME.

I'M NOT A PYROMANIAC, BUT I AM A

PYROENTHUSIAST.

AND CONTRARY TO WHAT THE KINGS

OF LEON MAY TELL YOU, IF YOUR

SEX IS ON FIRE, YOU HAVE

CHLAMYDIA AND YOU SHOULD

PURCHASE SOME TOPICAL CREAM.

AND PLEASE STOP OFFERING

INSURANCE MONEY EVERY TIME A

FIRE "MYSTERIOUSLY" BREAKS OUT.

ARSON IS A SERIOUS CRIME AND/OR

A GREAT WAY TO MAKE A QUICK

HUNDRED GRAND.

YOU KNOW WHO I FEEL BAD FOR?

ANYONE WHO HAS TO WATCH THE

OSCARS THIS YEAR.

YES, BUT ALSO BURN VICTIMS.

THEY ARE ALWAYS RUNNING OUT OF

ALOE VERA, AND IT'S A HUGE PAIN

TO CONSTANTLY HAVE TO GO TO THE

DRUG STORE.

I'M STILL AMAZED PEOPLE GET PAID

TO PUT OUT FIRES.

WE ALL KNOW THE SECRET FORMULA

-- FIRE PLUS WATER EQUALS NO

FIRE.

JUST GIVE EVERYONE THEIR

OWN HOSE.

SWEET BROWN ONLY WANTED A COLD

POP WHEN THE SMOKE GOT HER.

THAT'S WHY I FLEW HER TO SOCAL

WHERE WE DEFY GOD'S WILL BY

PUTTING OUT THE WILDFIRES HE

SENDS TO CLEANSE US OF OUR SINS

FOR THIS WEEK'S WEB REDEMPTION.

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

>> SWEET BROWN.

THANKS FOR MEETING ME HERE.

CAN YOU GIVE ME A HAPPENED.

>> CAN YOU GIVE ME A LITTLE

HAND.

>> DROP DOWN, SHUT EMDOWN, OPEN

UP SHOT.

>> THAT SOUNDS LIKE A DMX SONG.

>> OH, LORD JESUS.

IS THIS NORMAL?

>> EVER SINCE 9/11 THEY GET A

LITTLE SKITTISH BEFORE EVERY

CALL.

>> SWEET BROWN, HOW DID YOU GET

THAT NAME?

>> WELL, MY MAMA GAVE IT TO ME.

>> HOW LONG AGO WAS THAT VIDEO?

>> IT'S BEEN SINCE APRIL.

>> OKAY.

WALK ME THROUGH EVERYTHING THAT

HAPPENED THAT DAY.

>> I WAS LOOKING OUT THE WINDOW,

I THOUGHT SOMEBODY WAS

BARBECUING, AND I SAID OH, LORD

JESUS, IT'S A FIRE.

>> WHAT TIME OF DAY WAS THIS?

>> IT WAS 3:30 IN THE MORNING.

>> WHY DID YOU THINK THERE WAS A

BARBECUE GOING ON AT 3:30 IN THE

MORNING?

>> IT WAS THE DAY BEFORE EASTER.

IT WAS 3:30 IN THE MORNING, LIKE

MID MORNING.

YOU KNOW HOW PEOPLE, YOU KNOW,

BARBECUE EARLY IN THE MORNING?

>> OKAY.

AND YOU SAID WHEN YOU WOKE UP

YOU WERE GOING TO THE

REFRIGERATOR TO GET YOURSELF

SOME POP?

>> NO.

I WAS GOING TO THE GET A POP.

>> I WERE YOU GETTING A POP IN

THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT.

>> BECAUSE I WAS THIRSTY.

>> YOU GOTTA GO WITH WATER,

SWEET BROWN.

>> I DIDN'T WANT NO WATER.

I WANT POP.

>> CAN I OFFER YOU A POP?

>> YES.

I'M THIRSTY.

>> HERE YOU GO.

WHAT KIND YOU WANT?

>> SPRITE, BABY, SPRITE.

>> HERE'S A GRAPE CRUSH.

>> WHAT TIME DID THE FIRE START?

>> THE WOMAN HAD A HOVER ROUND

AND SHE WAS TRYING SOME CHICKEN.

I GUESS THE HOVER ROUND WENT

DEAD.

>> THAT'S A PERFECT STORM FOR A

FIRE.

>> IT WAS LIKE A FIRE STORM.

SHE COULDN'T MAKE IT TO THE

STOVE TO GET THE CHICKEN.

>> YOU KNOW I HAVE AN ISSUE WITH

HER MAKING CHICKEN THIS LATE AT

NIGHT.

>> I BET YOU AIN'T GOING TO EAT

NO MORE CHICKEN, NOT IF IT'S

FROM KFC.

>> DID YOU GET OUT IN PLENTY OF

TIME BEFORE THE FIRE GOT YOU?

>> YOU KNOW, I WAS RUNNING FOR

MY LIFE, AND I FORGOT MY DADDY.

>> YOU REALIZE THAT YOU HAD LEFT

SOMEONE BACK IN THE APARTMENT?

>> YEAH, MY DADDY WAS IN THE

CLOSET.

>> WHY WAS YOUR DADDY IN THE

CLOSET?

IN THIS DAY AND AGE, HE TIME TO

COME OUT.

>> HE CREMATED.

>> DADDY MADE IT OUT.

>> HE COULD MAKE IT OUT.

HE CREMATED IN THE FIRE.

>> YOU CAN'T BE CREMATED TWICE.

>> HE CAN'T GOT NO SMOKE DAMAGE

OR NOTHING.

DADDY ALL RIGHT.

>> HAVE YOU EVER SEEN THE MOVIE

BACKDRAFT.

>> ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT WITH

BILL PAXTON?

>> YEAH.

>> I CRIED.

>> ARE YOU SURPRISED THAT THE

VIDEO BECAME SO POPULAR?

>> I WAS SO SURPRISED WHEN YOU

SEE MY SON IN THE BACK LIKE OH,

MY GOD.

BABY, I GOT THIS.

>> THAT YOUR SON IN THE BACK.

>> THAT WAS MY SON.

>> BECAUSE HE KEPT WALKING BACK

AND FORTH.

>> LIKE A CRAZY PERSON BACK

THERE.

>> MAMA, DON'T DO THIS.

BABY, I GOT THIS.

>> YOU DON'T CAMP, I DON'T CAMP.

SMOKY THE BEAR IS FOR FOREST

FIRES.

WE NEED A MASCOT FOR THE URBAN

COMMUNITY TO TEACH EVERYONE IN

THE CITY ABOUT THE DANGERS OF

FIRE AND I THINK IT SHOULD BE

YOU.

>> I WANT IT TO BE LIKE A CAMP

FIRE GROUND AND ME AND MY LITTLE

ANIMATED ANIMALS.

WE WALK IN AND I'M LIKE OOH,

SOMEBODY BARBECUING.

>> WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

>> BUT I WANT LITTLE ANIMATED

ANIMALS.

>> WE'RE NOT GOING TO DO

ANIMATED ANIMALS.

>> SWEET BROWN.

>> WHY?

BECAUSE I WANT MY ANIMALS TO

BURN UP.

>> WE DON'T HAVE TIME FOR THIS.

>> OKAY.

>> THIS WATER IS FOR FIRE

SPRAYING, NOT SIDEWALK CLEANING.

THAT'S WASTEFUL.

AIN'T NOBODY GOT TIME FOR THAT.

THIS IS A PUBLIC SPACE, NOT YOUR

FIREPLACE.

THAT'S DANGEROUS.

AIN'T NOBODY GOT TIME FOR THIS.

WHOA!

YOU'RE ABOUT TO BURN DOWN A

WHOLE BLOCK.

AIN'T NOBODY GOT TIME FOR THAT.

>> BOOM CHAKALAKA.

>> WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

THAT WAS ABOUT TO BE ON FIRE?

>> YOU HAVE ENOUGH TO MELT THE

CLOTHES.

AIN'T NOBODY GOT TIME FOR THAT.

[APPLAUSE]

THAT SWEET BROWN MONSTER RUINED

MY GAMING CONSOLE!

I TRIED BLOWING IN IT AND

EVERYTHING.

WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK, BUT FIRST

IT'S YOUR PUSSY OF THE WEEK.

ALRIGHT.

>> I LOST IT AGAIN.

THAT WAS A GOOD GAME.

>> YEAH.

THAT WAS A GOOD GAME.

>> I DON'T KNOW ABOUT YOU, BUT I

SURE FEEL LIKE SOME ICE CREAM.

>> SURE.

THAT SOUNDS GOOD.

>> LET'S GO GET SOME.

PAUSE IT FOR A SECOND.

THIS IS ONE OF THOSE VIDEOS

THAT'S SUPPOSED TO TEACH KIDS AN

IMPORTANT LIFE LESSON. AND I

THINK WE CAN ALL LEARN A LITTLE

SOMETHING ABOUT MORALS AND

VALUES IF WE JUST KEEP WATCHING.

>> IS IT OKAY IF I ASK YOU

SOMETHING?

>> YEAH.

SURE.

>> UNCLE JOE, I THINK YOU'RE A

GREAT PERSON, AND YOU'RE REALLY

NICE, AND I LIKE YOU A LOT, BUT

I GET A LITTLE BOTHERED WHEN YOU

USE GOD'S NAME IN VAIN LIKE

G-DAMMIT SO I WAS WONDERING IF

YOU WOULD RESPECT MY FEELINGS

AND STOP SAYING THOSE THINGS.

>> YEAH.

I'M SORRY.

I DIDN'T KNOW IT BOTHERED YOU.

I WON'T SAY IT AGAIN.

>> OKAY.

THANK YOU.

I APPRECIATE IT.

>> SURE.

SEE, THAT WASN'T SO BAD.

BUT THERE'S NO WAY YOU WILL EVER

GUESS THE HUMONGOUS LEFT TURN TO

CRAZYTOWN THAT THIS VIDEO IS

ABOUT TO TAKE.

>> ACTUALLY, I HAVE ONE MORE

THING I HAVE TO MENTION.

DO YOU REMEMBER YESTERDAY WHEN I

WENT OUT TO WALK THE DOG?

WELL, RIGHT BEFORE THAT I WAS ON

LINE CHATTING WITH MY FRIEND

USING A WEB CAM.

>> UH-HUH.

>> AND I LEFT IT ON WHEN I WENT

OUT TO WALK THE DOG, AND MY

FRIEND WAS ON LINE THE WHOLE

ENTIRE TIME I WAS GONE.

YOU PROBABLY DIDN'T KNOW ABOUT

THE WEB CAM BEING ON BECAUSE OF

THE SCREEN SAVER, BUT SHE SAID

THAT A FEW MINUTES AFTER I LEFT,

YOU CAME IN AND TOOK SOME

UNDERWEAR FROM MY DRAWER AND PUT

THEM ON YOUR HEAD AND THEN YOU

DROPPED YOUR PANTS AND TOUCHED

YOURSELF.

THIS IS A VERY STRANGE BASKIN

ROBBINS COMMERCIAL.

RIGHT NOW I BET HE'S THINKING,

"I'M GOING TO HAVE TO MURDER MY

NIECE.

BUT FIRST, ANOTHER BITE OF ROCKY

ROAD."

>> THAT WAS UNCOOL.

YOU NEED TO MAKE SURE THAT THAT

NEVER HAPPENS AGAIN.

I DON'T WANT TO EMBARRASS YOU

UNNECESSARILY, AND I THINK WE'RE

BOTH MATURE ENOUGH TO RESOLVE

THIS, AND WE CAN KEEP THIS A

PRIVATE MATTER IF YOU CAN

PROMISE ME THAT THIS WILL NEVER

EVER HAPPEN AGAIN.

>> I PROMISE IT WILL NEVER

HAPPEN AGAIN.

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

THIS VIDEO SENDS OUT THE

COMPLETE WRONG MESSAGE.

YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO REPORT YOUR

PEDOPHILE UNCLE TO THE POLICE

IMMEDIATELY, NOT ASK NICELY FOR

HIM TO STOP RIFLING THROUGH YOUR

PANTY DRAWER.

GETTING ICE CREAM IS NOT THE

RIGHT TIME TO HAVE A SERIOUS

CONVERSATION.

THAT'S LIKE ME TAKING MY FAMILY

TO DISNEY AND TELLING THEM, I

KNOW THE WHEREABOUTS OF

NATALEE HOLLOWAY RIGHT BEFORE

THE TOWER OF TERROR DROPS.

THAT'S LIKE HAVING A PICNIC IN

THE PARK WITH MY GIRLFRIEND AND

LOOK, HONEY.

[ MUSIC ]

>> I [BLEEP] YOUR SISTER LAST

NIGHT.

>> WHAT?

>> SHHHH.

>> I'LL BE OUT IN A SECOND.

>> WHILE YOU'RE SITTING DOWN,

I'VE GOT SOME BAD NEWS FOR YOU.

YOUR SON DIDN'T SURVIVE THE

OPERATION.

HANG IN THERE.

I DIDN'T TOUCH MY PENIS, BECAUSE

LIKE MOST DOCTORS, I DON'T LIKE

TO WASH MY HANDS BETWEEN

SURGERIES.

APPARENTLY THIS SHOW STILL HAS A

VIEWER VIDEO SEGMENT.

SO, DON'T FORGET TO GO TO OUR

BLOG AND UPLOAD A CLIP. THIS

WEEK'S WINNER COMES TO US

FROM JASON HORTON.

>> SURE, LET ME GET YOU SOME

COFFEE.

HERE.

THANK YOU.

WAIT A MINUTE.

DID YOU SPIT IN THIS?

NO.

I LIKE MY COFFEE LIKE I LIKE MY

WOMEN.

I DON'T LIKE COFFEE.

WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH MORE

ALLEN KING: INSIDE THE COMEDY

MIND.

WELCOME BACK.

HOW'S YOUR PALEO DIET GOING?

YEAH, TEXT ME.

LAST WEEK I INTRODUCED THE WORLD

TO

SHOT.0'.

AND ASKED MY FANS TO COME UP

WITH SOME SHOTS OF THEIR OWN.

SURPRISE, SURPRISE.

IT TURNS OUT YOU ARE ALL

ALCOHOLICS.

[ MUSIC ]

>> OH OH, IT WENT UP HIS NOSE.

>> OH, NO.

>> OH, NO.

>> TOSH.O.

MAYBE NOT OUR BEST IDEA.

I KEEP FORGETTING HOW YOUNG OUR

DEMO IS.

NEXT WEEK WE GIVE THIS CHICK A

HAND.

>> AS YOU CAN SEE, I DON'T HAVE

ANY ARMS.

TODAY WE'RE GOING TO BE MAKING A

PEANUT BUTTER AND JELLY

SANDWICH.

THAT IS HOW YOU MAKE A PEANUT

BUTTER AND JELLY SANDWICH.

OKAY.

JUST LIKE YOU, I ALREADY HAVE A

TON OF QUESTIONS.

FOLLOW ME ON TWITTER SO WE CAN

LIVE CHAT DURING THE SHOW.

I RARELY USE CAPITAL LETTERS.

CHECK OUT OUR BLOG AT

TOSH.COMEDYCENTRAL.COM WHERE

THERE IS A CONVENIENT LINK TO

OUR STORE.

AND DON'T FORGET TO SEE ME ON

TOUR.

I'VE BEEN TOLD I'M EQUALLY GOOD

LOOKING IN PERSON.

AND FINALLY, THE CAT'S OUT OF

THE BAG.

I AM EXECUTIVE PRODUCING A SHOW

CALLED BRICKLEBERRY.

VARIETY CALLED IT "TIRESOME AND

TOO EAGER TOO OFFEND."

BUT THAT'S OUT OF CONTEXT.

THE FULL ARTICLE WAS VERY

NEGATIVE.

>> HERE'S THIS WEEK'S SPOILER

ALERT.

A RUSSIAN DRUG CARTEL INVADES

BRICKLEBERRY.

GOODNIGHT.

SLEEP TIGHT.

AND I WILL BE DREAMING OF YOU

WITH ALL MY MIGHT.